Chances
by Lynnth2014
Summary: Following the events of Sooner Or Later, Carol has acquired a job counseling at the women's shelter, Iris and Sophia are growing up and learning what that really means, Andrea's trying to balance her life and be the best mother she can be, and Daryl has come to terms with feelings that have been festering for years. However a horribly painful truth will threaten to tear them apart.
1. Over The Years

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

Iris checked out their new home, Shane and Rick were helping them move the furniture Mom had bought, and Mom was helping them with doors and directing them where to put it. Iris was alone to wander the new house that her mom bought without even showing her. It was nice though, and quite spacious. There were three bedrooms—two upstairs and one downstairs that Mom would use as an office—and two bathrooms since Mom spent about an hour there each morning. The kitchen was really nice, and so was the living room, and she heard it came at a good price. Aunt Amy had done her best to get them this house, and she was grateful. She just missed having a roommate. Well, it had to end sooner or later, and they got a whole year together so that Mom could save for the house. There were other expenses that got in the way, so Iris was told; but honestly it felt like Mom wanted to spent that year getting over everything that happened with Phillip, and she couldn't that alone but with Carol's help.

Shane had taken her bed and a few bags of clothes upstairs, so she decided to check it out, and it was nice—seriously, every room was nice. What the hell? Her room was big, and there would be a lot of space she wouldn't be able to fill. If she ever wanted a sleepover, she would invite every girl and boy in her class. It would be smaller when she had more of her things in it. Hopefully.

"There you are." Andrea stepped into the room. "So, what do you think?"

She turned and smiled. "I love it."

Andrea returned her smile and wrapped her up in a bear hug, kissing her cheek. "C'mon, let's go give the boys a hand."

"Are you sure we can't have Carol and Sophia come help?"

"Positive. Now stop trying to get out of doing anything." She led her out the door. "We'll have them over for dinner when this place is sorted. I promise." Andrea headed outside, and Iris stayed behind for a second, looking around.

"Home sweet home."

"Iris, come give me a hand!"

"Coming!"

They were finally home, and it actually felt like they were coming home too. It was a perfect house, and now it was the Blake household. Maybe they should get a pet of some sort. Like a bunny or a gerbil or—a snake! That would be the best pet ever, and her mom would say no in a heartbeat, that she didn't think Iris was responsible enough and that this was a new home and they could talk about it later. It was true though. She needed to be more responsible and mature and prove herself. With a new home, a fresh start, would be very possible.

 _~Five Years Later~_

Iris grabbed a bottle of tea from the fridge and opened it, ambling through her house leisurely, bored now that she had nothing to do. She had done her homework, finished her chores and was now helping her mom out by cooking dinner. She had nothing else to do. Patrick was busy with some scholarship paper—seniors—and Sophia was busy helping her mom and Daryl paint the house. She would go and help them but she was under house arrest for some unknown reason.

All right, she wasn't, but she didn't like to paint. She didn't want to stand in the way of family bonding either. Daryl might as well be married to Carol. They're such a good couple. She thought for a moment. Were they a couple? They were almost always, laughing and teasing and touching that seemed too intimate to be friendly. She'd never seen them kiss or hold hands or anything like that. She could ask Sophia at school tomorrow. Or after. They had a study date. Or whatever.

Iris heard her mom pull up, and she closed her tea, setting it on the counter. She waited for her mom, wanting to ask her about Carol and Daryl. She would know if anybody. She and Carol were best friends, and if she wouldn't tell her, she could always walk down to Karen's and ask. Sisters share everything, but she really didn't want to disturb them. They've had a rough time lately with the new baby and everything, so she hoped her mom told her.

Impatient with her mom's speed, she marched over to the door to see if she needed a hand. She might have brought home some grocery. She opened the door then slammed it shut at the sight behind the door. She ran out of the kitchen, completely grossed out, and she took shelter in her room, wishing her door locked, but sadly it did not. Maybe Daryl could fix that. He was a nice guy and he was always fixing things at Carol's.

She shuddered and heard her mom calling to her. It was like a horror movie, and she wanted to hide in the closet. She used to do that when she was seven. She couldn't hide in her closet now, because it was a mess and she'd kill herself trying to hide. She would just have to face this. Eeek!

Andrea opened her door. "Iris."

"Mother."

"I thought you were at Carol's."

"Why, were you going to have sex with him?" Iris exclaimed.

"No!"

"That does _not_ make me feel better." She dropped onto her bed. "What the hell is going on? You said you were working late, and I find you shoving your tongue down some guy's throat on our doorstep! What the hell, Mom?"

"There was no—" she stopped. "I meant to tell you."

"Yeah, it looked like you meant to tell me." She glared. "Who was that anyway? He looked really creepy."

"I'll have to tell him that." She crossed her arms. "That was Shane."

"Shane has hair."

"No, he shaved his head. He had a run-in with a suspect who pulled out some of his hair, so he just finished the job. He invited me out for dinner, and it was friendly...then we got to the door." She pushed on the rug by the foot of the bed with the tip of her boot. "I don't know what happened."

"And here you were worrying that I'm going to have sex when you're the one jumping men at the door."

"I did not jump him, and it was one man, not men!"

"Uh-huh."

"Look, I'll have to talk to Shane about this, but how would you feel if Shane and I were to...date?"

"Honestly, Mom, I would feel very, very...relieved."

"Relieved?"

"It's been five years, Mom. You haven't been with anybody since Phillip's crazy ass, and honestly Shane is an improvement. I like him. He's a good guy, and he respects you." She smiled encouragingly at her. "I'm cool with it."

"Iris, I know you think—"

"Mom, don't. Just go downstairs and talk to him, but if you get to go out with him, I get to go out with Patrick this weekend."

"No."

"What? Why not?"

"Because he's older than you, he can take you literally anywhere in his car, and you never call to let me know where the hell you are."

"He's only a year older than me. And how is that fair? You can make out with Shane _who you aren't even dating_ , but I can't even see my _boyfriend_?" It was like every single day that passed Mom got more and more iffy about her dating Patrick. It was really pissing Iris off.

"Iris, you're sixteen, and—"

"Yeah, I'm sixteen, but I'm also responsible and so is Patrick. All that we would do is hang out! We never get to see each other expect for in class, and he's going to be leaving soon for college," Iris shouted, all of her angry boiling over. "I never ask for anything, and yet I—"

"Well, you're asking to get grounded right now."

Tears burned in her eyes. "Why can't I just do something fun for once? All I do is study! I make good grades so I can get into a decent college and you don't have to pay anything!"

"I'm just trying to do what's right for you."

"God Mom, please! It's not like Patrick is going to take me to a rave where I'll get high and drunk and something horrible will happen to me! I'm not some file in your cabinet with tragedy littering the pages!" She was frustrated and tired of having this fight. "When are you going to start separating me from your work?"

"I don't confuse you with my work. I know you, Iris, and I'm just trying to protect you."

"No, you're trying to _smother_ me."

"I have to speak with Shane, and you need to get into bed." She stuffed her keys into her pocket. "Have you eaten?"

"Och. Yeah, I have. I made you some meatballs. The ones Grandma showed me how to make. They're in the oven." She folded her arms.

"Iris, have you eaten?"

"Just get out of my room and talk to your boyfriend."

"Iris, I'm not joking. Tell me if you've eaten."

"Why? My answer won't matter. When you have your mind's made up, that's it."

"Go downstairs and eat, please."

She scoffed, but rose and headed downstairs. She ignored Shane who tried to greet her, and she pulled the meatballs out, not at all hungry. She put two on a plate and went to the dining room, not wanting to see her mom, and she picked at them with a fork.

"What was that?" Shane gestured to the dining room where Iris had fled to.

"She wanted to go out with this weekend with her boyfriend, and I said no."

"Good. We haven't caught that armed mugger yet. He's already put two people in the hospital."

"Yeah." Her eyes lingered on the door to the dining room.

"You didn't tell her that part, did you?"

"She doesn't need to know that. I can handle her being angry with me."

"Andrea, she's not a kid. You can't keep coddling her, Andrea. She can handle the truth. In less than two years, she won't have you there to protect her."

"I don't coddle her."

"You really do. It's not gonna do either of you any good."

She sighed. "I'll tell her when she's done eating." She moved her eyes from the door to his face. "We need to talk."

"That we do."

Iris could hear them going upstairs, and she was about to slip away to her room when her phone vibrated. She dug it out of her pocket and found a text from Patrick, feeling her lips pull back in a big smile. She texted him back but didn't mention what her mom said. He was the only person she could talk to honestly anymore, and he didn't judge her. That's why she loved him. She wanted to talk to her mom about things, but if she even mentioned Patrick, her mom's head exploded. Who was the child there?

She managed to eat one meatball, but her stomach was still in knots over the fight so she put the rest away and headed up to her room, texting Patrick good night, and she lifted her head to find her mom on her bed. She lost her smile and scoffed.

"What now?"

"You can't go out with Patrick this weekend."

"I know. You told me." It's like prison, only she wished she had a roommate.

"You can invite him over though."

Her face lit up. "Really? Like, for the whole day?"

"Until dinner." She nodded. "Unless his parents say he can stay for dinner."

"Oh my God, thank you!" She hugged her. "Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome." She smiled, ignoring the voice in the back of her head. She would deal with the consequences of coddling her daughter eventually. It was just that all she saw when she looked into the big blue eyes was her baby, not a teenager who was dating and preparing for college and life. She would have to make herself adjust. For both of their sakes'.

– – –

Sitting in the living, Carol looked over the photos in the album before, reliving all of the memories that were attached to each picture, trying to determine which best showed who Sophia was growing into. Her birthday was coming up in a few weeks, and Carol wanted to make a card to send to their family and friends, so she was looking over the past few years. They had taken so many pictures over the years, and they had changed so much as well. It was going to be hard picking only three. She would just have to trust her gut.

Her eyes fell onto the pages filled with pictures from the water fight. It was a ridiculously hot day, and the girls were miserable, even the dog hadn't moved out from in front of the fan. Carol had just finished up with one of women from the shelter, a lovely woman named Jessie. On the way home, she called Daryl and invited him over to help with a leaky pipe.

 _She set her things down on the kitchen counter and peered in on the girls. She sighed at the sight of them and then began to explain the pipe problem to Daryl, and he got to work. She kept trying to think of a way to get them off their butts. They'd been like this for two days, and summer had only just begun. She didn't want to see them like this the entire summer vacation. They would feel as miserable as they looked by the time it ended._

" _Carol?" Daryl repeated, needing a wrench._

 _She heard Daryl call to her, and she bent down as he worked on the sink. "Yeah?"_

 _He had already moved out from under the sink so he just grabbed what he needed. "Never mind. I got it."_

" _I'm sorry. I have a lot on my mind right now." She removed her blazer and folded it. "I'm going to go change. I'll be back in a minute."_

" _Yeah."_

 _She gathered her things and climbed the stairs, the girls barely giving any indication they knew she was home, and she changed into jeans and a t-shirt. When she came back down, Honey wagged her tail at her and with a few smiles, she ran over and gave Carol a welcome home._

" _So, how are you two?" Carol asked the girls, scratching behind Honey's ears._

" _Hot," Iris replied. "Exhausted."_

" _What she said," Sophia murmured._

 _She shook her head and stepped into the kitchen, leaning against the wall, arms crossed. She lost herself in thought, her gaze the girls, and she was sorely tempted to take them to the pool just so they'd get some exercise. It'd cool them down, and they could have fun. The only downside would be the screaming children and the annoyed parents._

 _Daryl finished up and was about to speak but he noticed that Carol was somewhere else. He followed her gaze instead and saw two lumps in the forms of two thirteen year olds on the couch. "What's up with them?"_

" _They've been like that since I left." She wanted them to move, at this point even if it was to get something to drink. "I...wish I could get them to cheer up. Get them active. Stop watching reruns for half an hour."_

" _I got an idea." He pushed off the ground and rubbed his chin. "Just...get 'em to the backyard."_

" _Why?"_

" _You wanna see 'em move around?"_

" _Yeah..." She didn't sound sure._

" _Get 'em to the backyard." He smirked at her and left through the front door._

" _What the hell." She pushed off the wall and walked in front of the TV, both of them looking at her like they would say or do something if they had energy. "Girls, this is sad, and I can't watch this anymore. Go outside."_

" _What? It's like a million degrees outside!" Iris exclaimed. "Please, don't!"_

" _Go. Outside. Now." She nodded her heard toward the door._

" _Mom, please don't make us go out there and drown in our sweat," Sophia begged. "It's too hot to breathe!"_

" _Too bad. This dog has become a lazy little slug because you two don't play with her, so go outside and get active or no cable."_

" _Aww, you suck," Iris groaned._

" _Excuse me?" Carol arched a brow._

" _I—Sorry. I'm sorry" She slipped off the couch and walked over to the door. "C'mon, Honey. Let's go out." Honey didn't move, and Iris gestured to her. "See, she doesn't want to go."_

" _You have till I count to five," Carol threatened._

" _Mom—" Sophia began._

" _One."_

" _She doesn't even want—" Iris started._

" _ **Two** ," she said more sternly. _

_They both gave an exaggerated groan, Sophia pulled the door opened, and they went outside, Carol closing the door behind her, and the girls just stood there. She was about to tell them to play with something—anything—when they both screamed as water was splashed on them. Carol looked over and Daryl had the hose._

" _What the heck, Daryl?" Sophia pushed hair out of her face._

" _What? You looked faint. I was worried you'd faint of heat stroke."_

" _I just stepped out here!" she retorted. "And where did you even come from?"_

" _Work."_

" _You—are not funny." She was smiling through._

 _Iris had scanned the backyard while Sophia yelled at Daryl and saw the plastic pool Karen had left for them, and she grabbed a bucket, scooping in the sun-warmed water while Sophia tried to glare Daryl down. She waited until she was close enough and sloshed the water on him._

" _Sophia, get the hose!"_

" _Carol, stop her!" Daryl shouted to her, pushing his hair back. "Shit, what the hell, kid? You boil that first?"_

 _She grinned. "More where that came from."_

 _Carol and Sophia reached the hose at the same time, Sophia eyed her mom, and Carol knew that if Sophia got the hose, she was going to soak everyone. She also knew there was no way she was going to get out of this dry. They both lunged for the hose, both grabbing it, and they fought for control while Daryl tried to get the bucket Iris had filled with more water, and they ended up squirting Iris in the back with the jet function, and she squealed._

 _Daryl laughed, and she tossed more on him, and he glared._

" _Time the freak out!" Iris declared. "If we're going to do this, I demand a ten minute recess so I can prepare to douse both of you."_

 _Daryl looked at Carol, and she nodded. "Sounds fair."_

" _Sophia, come with me." She smiled at Daryl. "Enjoy your hose." She went inside with Sophia._

" _Where are we going?"_

" _When we lived here with you two, I hide some balloons in your room 'cause Mom was worried Honey might get a hold of them, eat them and they would get all wrapped up around her insides." Her mom really freaked her out with that, but still she smiled. "The things is I hid them so well I couldn't find them when we were packing, but the other week when we were helping your mom clean so she'd take us to get ice cream, I found them. I didn't take them with me."_

" _That's awesome."_

" _I'll get them filled with water, and you get those water gun things Ty brought."_

" _You're serious about this." Sophia stopped by the closet where the water guns were. Ty have given them to Iris and her as a gift to help beat the heat. He was the coolest uncle._

" _Well, it's war now."_

 _Outside Carol and Daryl waited for the girls to come back out, sitting on the back of his truck, and Carol stretched her legs, wondering what was taking so long. They weren't actually timing them, but she was pretty sure their time was running out. So was her time being dry. Oh well. It wasn't like she was wearing something elegant._

" _So, a water fight?" Carol turned her to look at Daryl, smiling teasingly at him, amused that this was his idea._

" _Yeah. I used to see kids on the block do it all the time."_

" _Used to see?" She tilted her head. "Didn't you ever join them?"_

" _No, my old man didn't let me."_

" _Why not?"_

" _He...just didn't." He hesitated. "Joe Dixon was a mean son of a bitch."_

 _She nodded, seeing there was more to it than that, but she heard the door and chose that as an opportunity to change the subject. He looked uncomfortable. "Oh, that's them. You ready?"_

" _Yeah." He got down and helped her down, but he had done it in a way that they were really close when she had her feet on the ground. He didn't realize that being so close to her would be so intoxicating, and neither of them moved._

 _Until Iris yelled to them, "You can make out later, come on!"_

 _Daryl felt the tips of his burning, and Carol just laughed it off, though she could feel the heat on her cheeks. They joined the girls and were instantly bombard with water balloons. Daryl struggled to grasp the hose, and he went for Sophia since she was dead set on going after him._

" _Iris!" Sophia squealed. "Help!"_

 _Iris grabbed a balloon and the water gun. "Hey, Dixon!" She chucked the balloon at him, and it hit him right in the face, and there was a special ingredient inside that water balloon. Glitter. She laughed loudly so delighted as Daryl Dixon, the man who always looked like there was bad smell in the air, was covered in not only water but pink glitter._

" _What the hell?" he shouted. "That's cheatin'!"_

" _Oh, it's priceless!" She pulled out her phone and took pictures._

 _Daryl lifted the hose and doused her relentlessly, she backed up, and he chased her around the yard. She couldn't get him, and he was going to get revenge. That left Sophia and Carol standing there with nothing but water balloons and a bucket full of water. Carol walked over to her, and they watched Iris and Daryl attack each other with water. Sophia laughed and held onto the water balloons in her arms, and while she was distracted, Carol picked up the water gun by Sophia and began to spray her._

" _Hey!" Sophia jumped back, dropping the balloons on their feet. "You cheater!"_

" _It's not my fault you let your guard down," Carol smirked._

 _Sophia glared, but her mom was right._

 _Daryl and Iris ran by, Iris blindly threw balloons at Daryl, and Carol and Sophia moved away from their little war. Iris had one last balloon, and Daryl had stopped for a second to let her try and get him again. She was panting, her hair down in her face, and she saw Sophia was just as wet as she was. She gripped the water balloon and hurled it, but it wasn't going in the direction Daryl was in—it was going for Carol. The last glitter-filled water balloon landed on Carol and soaked her t-shirt._

" _Yes!" Iris cheered, and Sophia ran over and high-fived her._

 _Daryl looked at Carol and tried not to laugh, but he couldn't, and that made the girls laugh. She had a glob of pink glitter on her chest, and it wasn't just that. It was also the expression on her face and the fact that they knew she hated glitter._

" _So much for teammates," Carol muttered, trying to wipe it off only to get it on her hands. "Ugh."_

" _I got it." Daryl turned the hose on the girls who stood there victoriously. Honey even sauntered over to them and ran through the water. "You're not supposed to enjoy it!"_

" _Well, it feels good and we nailed you both, so we are enjoying it!" Sophia beamed._

" _I got more functions, wanna see if they're fun too?"_

" _Go!" Sophia pushed Iris toward the truck and they hide behind it._

 _Daryl snickered and made his way to Carol, taking her hands as she tried to remove the glitter, and he turned on the hose on, washing away the flakes._

" _Thank you."_

" _No problem."_

 _She glanced at the girls, who were sneaking back toward the house to fill up more water balloons, and she met his eyes. "Get ready for round two."_

 _He smirked. "Already am."_

" _Glad to see you're not going soft on me already."_

" _I'd never go soft on you."_

 _She smiled. "Good to know. Now, help me with these." She collected the water guns and bucket. They were going to win the next round, and while the girls had their glitter, they had mud. Lots and lots of mud. It was going to be a cold, muddy, wet war, but they were in too deep to stop now._

––

 _Later that night when the war was over and neither side had really won, they washed off the majority of the mud with the hose and ordered pizza. Andrea came to pick Iris up and wasn't too mad about the mud fight. She was glad that Iris had gotten outside and gotten to have fun while she was at work, and she thanked Daryl and Carol both. They left and Sophia headed upstairs for a shower, leaving Carol and Daryl to break down the pizzas boxes and put them in the trash._

" _You have fun today?" Daryl asked._

" _I did." She wiped her hands on her dirty jeans. "I think I needed that more than the girls. Thank you."_

" _Glad I could help."_

 _She crossed her arms. "Could I ask you something?"_

" _...I guess." He picked at the mud under his nails, his eyes wanting to meet hers, but he couldn't._

" _Your father...Joe...umm..." She tried to find the words. "What...happened to him? You said he was dead. How did he die?"_

" _Doesn't matter." He shrugged. "He's dead. That's all anybody needs to know."_

" _So I'm just an "anybody"." She nodded. "I have to get these clothes into the washer."_

" _Carol."_

" _It's fine. Good night, Daryl." She offered a small smile then returned to her house and locked up. Only it wasn't fine. They had been friends for how many years now and he still didn't trust her to know about his dad. She knew about Ella and Celia, but not Joe. He'd come close to telling her many times, but she just wasn't trustworthy enough. If they didn't have trust, how could they be friends?_

Looking over the pictures that follow the water fight, Carol remembered when she and Daryl started to talk—actually talk, not just awkward greetings in the hall whenever they ran into each other—again. It had been months since that night, and it was the night of Sophia's Christmas program. She was in eighth grade, and they were all doing a song with bells of some sort then going to the cafeteria for cookies and coco. Andrea and Carol had invited only Amy—Ty and Karen were already there for Maddie's performance—and Daryl was leaning against the door, watching. Carol almost hadn't seen him, but of course she did see him. She had even used the zoom on her camera to make sure it was him. He had even gotten a little dressed up for tonight. Well as dressed up as Daryl could get. He looked really handsome.

 _When the performance was over and the parents had filed out of the gyms with the kids, he pulled her aside. They stepped outside and sat down on the bench by the playground. He was silent, and Carol wondered why he brought them out here if he wasn't going to talk. She wasn't going to baby him, and she didn't know what to say to him. She would rather be inside where it was warm and there were hot beverages and food._

" _Wait," he whispered._

 _She met his eyes. "For what?"_

" _I wanted to tell Sophia she did a good job. I was...wonderin' if I could do that."_

" _Of course you can, Daryl. You can always talk to Sophia."_

" _Wasn't sure with the last time we ran into each other."_

" _You caught me on a bad day." She shuddered at the cool breeze. "Look, if my memory is correct then it's you who've been avoiding me."_

" _Yeah, I was," he admitted._

" _Why? We're friends, Daryl. We talk things out, not ignore each other like we're in grade school."_

" _The whole time..." he dropped his head, unable to meet her eyes like the coward he felt he was, "I've been tryin'... tryin' find a way to get out, you know? I thought about all the ways it could go wrong, and I jumped on the first chance to get the hell out. I thought if I got out... Tsh, I dunno."_

" _Get out? Get out of what?" She shook her head in mild confusion. "Our—our friendship?"_

" _I ain't ever had a real friend before," he told her. "Not...not like you. And I fuck things up. They always go to shit, and I didn't want that happen between us. It's better...when I'm by myself. Or with Merle." His voice was practically nonexistent, and he couldn't look at her. He was such an asshole, and he hated himself for it. Shit, she would be smart to just leave him there. He wasn't worth anything, never was._

 _He heard her get up, she walked away, and he began to chew his bottom lip. He didn't move from that stop, but he was going to. He couldn't just sit in a kids' play ground. It was strange, and it was cold as balls out here. He lifted his head and was about to stand up when she came back, holding two small cups of something hot. He frowned._

 _She sat beside him, placing the cups on the table and she took one of his hands. She was...smiling at him. "You're freezing. Drink up."_

" _What—?"_

" _Hot chocolate—all the coffee was gone. Drink." She rubbed her hands over his. "Friends don't let friends get sick if they can help it."_

" _Carol, I just—"_

" _I get it, Daryl." She locked eyes with him. "I do. It's going to be a rough road for you, and I can tell it always has been, but you'll get through this. **We'll** get through this."_

" _We?"_

" _Yes, we." She searched his eyes. "You can't just pull away from me and Sophia after becoming someone important to us both. You don't get to do that. You are in our family, and I will not let her lose anybody else. You may pull away, and I won't be there to fix us—you'll have to do that yourself—but right now I'm here. Your friend. Your first and best friend."_

" _But what about Joe?"_

" _You'll tell me when you're ready." She sounded so confident. "And I won't push you to talk about him anymore." She gripped his hand tightly. "You're still cold. Let's go inside. Sophia wants to talk to you."_

" _Carol, wait."_

" _What?"_

" _How do you do it?"_

" _Do what?"_

" _How do you fix everything...just like that?" He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to apologize and explain, but he couldn't find the words. He didn't know how to say sorry that seemed sufficient. He'd been trying to find something to say since their fight. When you spend your entire life being silent in hopes that you won't be noticed... it's just hard to break out of that. He wanted to, for her, for himself. He didn't know where to begin, so he had to ask._

" _I'm a mom. I can fix just about anything," she teased then said, "I love you, Daryl. I don't let the people I love go easily. Not anymore." She walked toward the door._

 _He smiled to himself, and he didn't follow her for a brief second. He had to work this out. He couldn't just pull away anymore. He couldn't just run away. He was too old for that, and it was about time he learned how to properly handle situations. He was long overdue._

––

Turning the page, Carol smiled at the sight of the girls in their white graduation gowns. It was a busy morning. Andrea had brought Iris over so she curl her hair while Carol did makeup that didn't make them look like they were 35. They had two stations prepared at six o'clock in the morning, everyone heavily drinking coffee, and then they took them to school. It was a wonder nobody crashed during the ceremony.

 _Iris looked lovely that day. She wore a lavender dress with high heels that she had to beg her mom to wear, her hair was curled and some pinned back with bobby pins. She was smiling so much, glad to be moving into high school and getting out of grade school. She graduated with honors. With Sophia's, Patrick's and Andrea's aid, she improved her history scores. She was so happy that day, and Andrea was glowing with pride. It was amazing._

 _Sophia was beautiful as well. She wore a white dress with the black floral patterns and the birthstone necklace Daryl had given her a few years before. She wasn't as smiley as Iris, because she was going to miss her teachers and some of her friends weren't going to the same high school. She didn't cry, but she found it a little bittersweet. She too graduated with honors, and even though she promised that she wouldn't, Iris cheered loudly when they awarded her the diploma, and Sophia got embarrassed. That and Daryl and Carol and Andrea had been cheering just as loud. They cheered for both of the girls, while Sophia wanted to duck her head at all the attention, Iris loved it._

 _They met their parents outside and they were hugged and pictured to death. Since it was still early, they decided to go out to eat later in the day, and Iris said she wanted to stay here for the rest of the day and just chill with some of other students until prom, which was right after school. Sophia wanted to go home, but she also wanted to hang out with Carl and Lizzie. They were helping the teachers set up, and she thought it'd be nice to hang out one last time. Lizzie was being home schooled, but she would see Carl again in high school. She just wished Grimes and Blake were closer to Peletier, but oh well. They couldn't share a homeroom forever. At least their classes might be the same, she hoped._

" _Thanks for coming." Sophia hugged Daryl. "I'm was worried you wouldn't make it."_

" _I wouldn't miss it for the world." He released her. "I'm proud of you."_

 _She grinned then turned to her mom. "Is he coming to dinner with us?"_

 _Carol met his eyes. "Do you want to? We're probably going to do have a sleepover after, which you are welcome to come to."_

" _No thanks." He shook his head. "I'll come to dinner though."_

" _Be at the house by six then."_

 _He nodded. "Have fun at prom."_

" _A bunch of goofballs in the cafeteria will be a blast," Sophia sarcastically replied._

 _He smiled. "I'll see y'all at six."_

" _Bye Daryl."_

 _He went to his car, Iris and Sophia headed back inside after one final goodbye, and Andrea and Carol went home. They had taken the day off so they had to find something to do until seven, which was when prom ended._

" _So, you and Daryl seem really close," Iris mentioned to Sophia while they played cards, Carl and Lizzie getting some snacks and drinks from the machine, and Sophia nodded. "Your mom and he are close too?"_

" _What do you want to know?" Sophia leaned back._

" _Nothing, I just asking. Geez."_

" _You never "just ask". You always have an ulterior motive."_

" _Not this time."_

 _Sophia pursed her lips together and ran her fingertip over the cards. "I...didn't see Shane."_

 _Iris crossed her arms. "So?"_

" _I—I just thought he was coming is all." Sophia shrugged. "Did he have to work?"_

" _I dunno. He and Mom have been weird lately. Really weird." She shuffled her cards boredly. "I guess something came up with work. Someone probably was killed or kidnapped or he just didn't care enough to come."_

" _Iris, I doubt it's that."_

" _For all I know he's not even my dad, so I don't know why I'm upset." She met Sophia's eyes. "I don't know who the hell my dad is, but I thought it was him, and I thought...he'd like to see me—his kid—graduate. I know it's only eighth grade but still. It's a big step. I'm so stupid sometimes." She always wondered if the reason her mom and he were being weird was because Mom had told him that Iris was his. She didn't know if that happened, but she kind of really wished it had. She didn't want to push her mom, but she had to know. Maybe Mom was just waiting until she was older. If she only knew how much older!_

" _You're not stupid for wanting him there."_

" _I didn't need him to come, even if I wanted him there. I just... I feel bad because I was disappointed when I saw only Mom. I feel bad because what if she picked up on that and feels like she's not enough? It's not true. I just...had some insane idea that Shane would come."_

" _Insane, huh?"_

 _Iris turned in her seat to the officer in the doorway with flowers. She slipped out of the desk and Sophia smiled a little, having spotted him about two seconds ago—luckily he had missed the dad stuff—and she met him by the door. "Shane, what are you doing here?"_

" _I had court, but I didn't want you to think I'd miss your graduation." He smiled at her. "Your mom called and left a dozen messages. I had it marked on my calendar, but she wanted to make sure I remembered." He held out the flowers that came with some Congrats Grad! balloons and a bear. "Tulips are your favorite, right?"_

" _Yeah." She accepted the vase and the bear with the balloons, smiling. "Thank you, Shane."_

 _He hugged her. "Congrats, Iris. I'm proud of you."_

" _Hey, do you want me to take a picture?" Sophia asked, grabbing her phone from her purse. "I can."_

" _Yeah. I'd like one."_

 _Iris nodded, Sophia took the picture, and Shane had to leave about two minutes after. He and Rick were supposed to get lunch soon, and Rick was in a bad mood, so he gave her a card, one more hug and left. They returned to the desks they had moved to get comfortable and Iris opened the card, impatient. He had written a quote inside and left a hundred dollar bill._

" _And I'm paying for snacks," Carl mused, setting down two bottles of flavor water and three packs of peanut butter crackers down on the desk._

" _It's a last minute gift." Iris tucked the car into her purse and accepted a water from Lizzie. "And you owe me a fortune from when you borrow money from me this entire year."_

" _True." He sat down by Sophia. "Is lemon okay? I like the strawberry."_

" _It's fine." She smiled and opened the water._

" _So, if I'm guessing right I can assume Iris looked at our cards and I should reshuffle," Lizzie said, smirking at Iris._

" _I did, and your hand sucks." She smirked back._

" _Can we finish one game without cheating?" Carl bit into a cracker._

" _With the two of us playing," Iris wagged a finger from her to him, "nah."_

 _He laughed. "True, but let's try to do one honest game."_

" _I'll shuffle." Iris started to gather the cards when they all slapped her hands away. "What?"_

" _No, you don't get to touch the cards. I've seen you "drop" them too many times. No one is that much of a butterfingers." Carl narrowed his eyes at her. "And then there's you mysteriously winning."_

" _Maybe I'm just a better player than you." She couldn't keep a straight face, and Carl laughed with her._

" _I'll shuffle." Lizzie collected the cards._

 _"Thanks, Liz." Sophia shook her head at her friends._

––

Carol ran her fingers over the two sets of buddy pictures that the girls took their freshmen and sophomore years of high school. They had a lot of friends their friendship year, but they were still each other's best friend. It showed in the pictures, and in the fact that they were almost always together. They were more like sisters these days.

" _Is this everyone?" Iris asked._

" _Yep." Sophia tucked hair behind her ears. "They're gonna position us, but at the last second, I'm gonna jump on your back, okay?"_

" _Ooh, rebellious."_

" _Shut up, just catch me." She lightly pushed her then saw Patrick and Carl enter. "Look, it's your man."_

 _Iris blushed. "Shut up! Go over there!" She walked away when they approached, and she smiled at Enid, who knew about her crush, and just laughed._

" _Did everybody bring money?" the teacher who helped with the yearbook asked, and they forked over the eight bucks. He positioned them, and true to her word, Sophia jumped on Iris' back before the picture was taken, and it added character to the picture. Enid and Carl had moved back-to-back and held finger guns, and Patrick and his friend Noah just looked embarrassed and disappointed. It was the best picture that year._

 _And the next year it was just the four of them. Enid was sick, and Noah had moved away, and that was the year of even worse crushes. And Shane had stopped by, and he knew from Andrea that Iris had a really bad crush on Patrick, so he pretended to arrest him in the picture, and Iris had her hands slapped to her face, and Carl and Sophia were laughing. They each had that one in their bedrooms. It was too perfect._

– – –

Carol paused in going through the albums and took out that buddy picture, deciding to use it for Sophia's sweet sixteen invitation, and she grabbed some tea from the kitchen, returning to her search. She had only been at this for a few hours. She wanted to have the card made in advance so she wouldn't forget about it. She just kept getting lost in the memories. There were so many good, happy, memorable times, both in the house and out of it. Sometimes she just had to take a breath and smile, because this was her life. It was a good life, and she couldn't stop smiling most days. It was...truly an amazing feeling.

She had somehow ran into a misplaced Christmas picture of Daryl, Sophia and herself. Daryl had come over to celebrate Christmas with them for the first time last year. He normally just stayed home and gave Sophia a gift card so she could buy herself something. That year Sophia begged that all she wanted for him to spend Christmas with them. He had spent Thanksgiving with them, and it was really great, so Sophia wanted him over for Christmas. He didn't know what all she meant, so he was in for a surprise when he arrived.

" _Merry Christmas, Daryl." She hugged him and pulled him to the living room. "Mom'll be down in, like, five minutes. She has to fix herself up. Do you want some coffee?"_

" _Yeah, that'd be good."_

" _Be right back." She headed into the kitchen to get him and her mom some coffee._

" _What do you mean, fix herself up?"_

" _Oh, you know, wash her face, changed out of her nightclothes, I guess." She carried the cups into the living room. "She doesn't want you to see her first thing in the morning."_

 _Daryl thanked her for the coffee. He had thought about seeing Carol first thing in the morning, and he had never thought about her looking bad or being insecure. He didn't understand why she wanted to clean herself up for him. She looked beautiful all the time._

 _Sophia eyed him. "You okay there, Daryl? You look kinda feverish."_

" _Hmm?" She pointed to his cheeks. "I'm fine, just a little warm." He cleared his throat. "Oh, Merry Christmas."_

 _She grinned then stood up. "Mom, hurry up!"_

" _I'm right here." She wore her baggy sweatpants and t-shirt, but Sophia could tell she had a bit of makeup on and possibly even perfume. She wasn't entirely sure though, because they had baked cookies all night long, so it could be linger cookie scent. Sophia's hair smelled like gingerbread, and Honey kept drooling on her, so she had to wash up. Her mom was too sleepy to wash up, so it could definitely be the cookie scent._

" _Okay, since this is our first Christmas with Daryl, I saw he opens his gifts first."_

 _Daryl nearly choked on his coffee. "W—what? Gifts?"_

" _Well, it is Christmas." Carol curled up on the couch. "And why would we invite you and not get you some gifts?"_

" _I—I didn't bring y'all nothin'."_

" _Good, because after the last gift I got, I don't need anymore." She smiled at him. "And don't feel bad. You're our guest, and you can't feel bad in this house. It's not allowed."_

 _Sophia presented him with his first Christmas gift, and she watched excitedly while he opened it. They had gotten him some practical things: shirts, socks, a hairbrush. And there was one box that they were both dying for him to open. Iris had given them the idea, and Sophia had pressed and pressed until Carol caved. They hoped he liked it._

 _Daryl paused in opening the third gift. "Why am I the only one opening gifts?"_

" _Oh! Sorry." Sophia gave a box to her mom and a bone Honey, who had jumped on the couch in the space between Daryl and Carol, and for the first time ever, Daryl was jealous of the dog. Her head was on Carol's lap._

 _When all the of the gifts had been opened, Sophia collected the wrapping paper and tossed out what couldn't be used again, and Honey followed her around. Carol picked up the last box and sat down close to him._

" _There's still more?" Daryl ran a hand through his hair._

" _Just one." She set it on his lap. "I hope you like it."_

 _He peeled back the white wrapping paper and revealed a small box. He opened the lid, reached inside and closed his hand around a circular object. He pulled it out and discovered it was a Christmas ornament. It was a glass ball with a tilted square inside that held four pictures of Ella. She was one-year-old in one of the picture then two and three and four in the other pictures. And when the sun caught the glass, a small rainbow reflected inside._

 _Sophia peered over the corner at them, not speaking, but neither was Daryl. She bit her lip and wondered if something was wrong. She motioned to her mom to talk to him, to explain, and Carol searched his face to try and get a reading on him. He was simply blank._

" _Daryl?" She gulped. "Are you all right? Do you... not like it?" She began to explain when he didn't speak. "I thought that would you like to have a tiny bit of Ella on the holidays. One day... you might have another child, another family, and she can be apart of that. I thought—We thought you'd like it."_

 _Still nothing._

" _It doesn't have to be for if you have another child. It can just be a way to have her near during the holidays."_

 _Daryl lowered it back into the box and set it on the coffee table, gently as if it were an active bomb; Carol and Sophia exchanged a worried look, and Daryl met her eyes. "Thank you, Carol, but I won't be starting a new family, and I don't celebrate holidays on my own."_

" _Dar—"_

" _I appreciate this, I do, but don't." He rose and stepped outside for some air._

" _Well, that was scary." Sophia crossed her arms then met her mom's eyes. "Lemme talk to him."_

" _You sure?"_

" _Yeah."_

" _Put some shoes on."_

" _Duh." She grabbed her rain boots and shoved her feet into them, stuffing her pajama bottoms inside before carefully stepping out to join him. She shivered at the cold and hobbled over to him. "Hey."_

" _It's too cold for you to be out here dressed like that," he murmured._

" _I'm here to talk to you."_

" _About the ornament?"_

" _We didn't mean to anger you, or drudge up any bad memories." She studied him. "We just wanted to keep Ella with you, visually, on days like this. She can bring some light into your life when you're not celebrating at home. It's really beautiful in direct sunlight."_

" _Sophia, stop."_

" _Do you want to forget you ever had her?" she asked. "Or are you trying to keep all the pain inside and just... just let it walk all over you if you see one little picture of her?" He said nothing. "She was a beautiful little girl, and she looked very happy. I know that she wouldn't want you to let yourself suffer. No little girls wants her parent to be sad."_

" _It ain't that."_

" _Then what is it, Daryl?" She huffed. "You promised me once that you would be fine! Five years have passed, and you're still not fine!"_

" _I just hate Christmas."_

" _What? How do you hate Christmas? It's my favorite holiday after Halloween! How can you hate it?"_

" _'Cause when I woke up, I didn't have no presents under some decorated tree and cookies on the coffee table. Tsh, I had a son of a bitch father who had gotten shitfaced and beat the shit out of me. It was just another goddamn day."_

 _She paled. "Oh, my God."_

" _That's why I don't celebrate it. That's why I don't want some Christmas ornament with my daughter's face on it! I hate this day, and I don't want Ella to have any part of it"! He lowered his voice a bit. "When she was alive...I did all of this for her. She's gone now, and I don't see the point."_

" _I am so sorry about your dad, Daryl. I—I don't know what to say, so I won't. I can't possibly make you forget that or feel...at peace with that so..." She trailed off and grew silent, tears rising in her eyes, and she lifted her chin. "So you did it for Ella? That's great, you must have loved her with your entire heart. Of course you did." She peeked at his face, "But you won't do it for us, will you?"_

 _He was silent now._

" _I know we aren't blood, and I don't mean to sound selfish or insensitive, really I don't. It's just... I know it's not like you're dating my mom, and you don't owe us anything, especially not all smiles and laughs on a holiday you dislike, but I think of you like you're my... like you're someone I can't picture not being in my life, and I love you. You're in this family. At least to us you're in this family, but I guess you don't feel the same." She began to wipe at her eyes. "I'm sorry we're not enough to take the pain of what he did away—I wish we were—and I'm sorry that—" her voice broke. She couldn't stop picturing what he'd told her. She had seen and heard her mom take so many beatings, and it upset her to this day, and now learning that Daryl suffered similarly at the hand of someone who was meant to take care of him and show him endless love..._

 _He chewed on his bottom lip then finally met her eyes. "If I did all of this Christmas shit for anybody...it'd be for you and Carol."_

 _She swallowed."Really?"_

" _Yeah. That...ornament just took me by surprise, stirred up a lot of shit in my head." He reached out and hugged her. "You're family to me too, Sophia." He rested his chin on the top of her head. "You and Carol both are real important to me."_

 _She smiled, the tears in her eyes still from sadness, but she felt a lot better. "Merry Christmas, Daryl."_

" _So y'all tell me."_

 _She laughed and snuffled, moving back out of his hug. "Thank you for trusting me with that. I'll keep your secret for as long as you want me to."_

 _He barely nodded. "I appreciate that."_

" _Okay... now I'm freezing to death. I'll see you inside."_

 _He chuckled as she scurried back into the warm house, and he sat down on a chair free of snow. He saw movement and Carol stood beside him. He started to explain it to her, but she stopped him. She said that he didn't need to, and she handed him a cup of hot chocolate._

" _Thanks."_

 _She smiled and simply said, "Merry Christmas, Daryl."_

 _He met her eyes, and after all this years, after exchanging some of the strangest conversations and jokes, after being there for her through Bear and through Ed, after all of it, he had never realized until that moment why he was drawn her. He gazed at her, lost in admiring how the sun hit her face and lit up her sapphire blue eyes, how light seemed to accentuate her honey-colored skin and her perfectly messy silver hair, lost in the realization that he was completely, deeply, ardently in love with her. He knew that he felt something for her—a desire to be by her side, to keep her safe even though she could protect herself, to make her laugh and to see her gorgeous smile—but he had never felt that way about anybody, so he didn't know what it was until exactly right now. He assumed attraction, not something so...horrifying. The only people he'd ever loved in any way were gone or simply out of his life forever, but not her. He knew she would never be out of his life, and that's why what he felt was so terrifying._

 _What the hell did he do next?_

– – –

Hearing the key in the lock, Carol closed the albums and picked them up, placing them back on the shelf. Iris and Sophia walked in, grabbing some snacks and saying hey on their way up Sophia's room to study for an upcoming history exam. Carol was very proud of them and of who they were becoming. They were intelligent and beautiful and had blossomed in high school. Sophia joined drama, and they both joined track. Honestly, it was just so they could spend more time with Carl and Patrick, who were also on the track team. They enjoyed it, and they were good at it, so that's all the mattered.

Often she felt like Iris was her daughter as well, and sometimes people got a little confused on her friendship with Andrea. It was the short hair, and Andrea's...masculine energy. The awkward part is when the guy proceeds to ask you on a date after assuming your best friend is your girlfriend. She shook her head and heard the cooing from the baby monitor. She scooped it up on the way and headed upstairs to check on the grumpy baby boy.


	2. Date Night

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

Carol picked up the one and half year old from the crib. He was quite handsome, just like his father, with those big brown eyes and those messy curls. He was the newest addition to the family. Karen and Ty had been blessed with little Harris almost two years ago. Carol babysat for them when they worked—Karen had to get a job to help pay the bills and expenses of a baby—and when Carol was busy, they had Maggie's kid sister Beth watch him. Beth was currently at college, so she obviously wasn't available. Carol had to sneak the little guy into her office at the shelter now and then. He was a good baby, so she rarely got caught. Only on days when she couldn't resist holding him did she give away the fact she had a baby hidden behind her desk. Carol liked having a baby around the house. One that was actually a baby and didn't pretend to be so when it needed money or a favor.

Sophia stepped into the room, twisting the cap on her pen. "Aww, how is little Harry?" She rubbed his little tummy.

"He's fine. He just wanted some attention."

She nodded then bit her lip and sighed. "Mom, I know tomorrow's Thursday, and I'm not supposed to go out on week days, but Carl and Patrick want to take Iris and me to see a movie." She looked pleadingly at her mom. "Patrick can drive, and he'll have us home by ten, and you can call me anytime on my phone to make sure I'm okay, so please could I go? Could we go?"

Iris was in the hall, chewing on her thumbnail, waiting for either an argument or a squeal of happiness. When they were fourteen, Mom and Carol made a deal that they could only date if they both had boyfriends, ones they could meet and who they felt they could trust. There were only two guys.

Carl Grimes was a good guy who made decent grades and was bound to be a cop like his dad. He had respect, and he wouldn't hurt anybody until they were going to try and hurt him first. Sophia's had a crush on him since about the eighth grade. Iris had a crush on Patrick since his freshmen year. He was quite possibly the most amazing guy in their whole frigging school. He was silly and smart and adorable and funny. He was literally the only guy in the entire school who balanced her out, made sense of her ramblings and helped her make such decent grades. She wanted to have that painted on her bedroom walls so her mom would take a hint. At least she had this weekend.

"I'll talk to Andrea," Carol answered. "I don't mind, just as long as you pass your test."

"I will. We're studying. I just wanted to come and ask so I could get it out of my mind." She smiled. "Thanks, Mom." She ran into Iris on her way out, and they headed back to her room.

"I take it that was a yes," Iris hoped, having zoned out. She hoped that Carol said yes then her mom would have no choice but to say yes, because both Carl and Sophia would be there, and that meant they weren't alone. Plus it was really hard to say no to Sophia. She had a sweet face.

"If your mom says yes."

"Then we're not going." She plopped down onto the bed, all hope lost. "You can probably go."

"Why do you say that?"

"My mom. Ever since I started dating Patrick, it's like she's going out of her way to make sure I never go out with him."

"That's not true."

"Yeah, it is. She only allows it if she can watch us like a hawk." She blew hair out of her face. "What's the point of letting me date if I can't actually date? Eh, don't answer that. It doesn't matter. I have this weekend, so let's just get back to studying. I don't wanna fail."

"We can talk about it," Sophia offered. "It's fine, really it is."

"Okay, but after we memorize the first page of notes."

"Deal."

"Or half the page." She glared at her small handwriting, seeing two days of notes on the front of one page.

Sophia laughed. "Deal."

– – –

"Don't you trust Sophia?" Daryl asked, fixing the light in the garage that Thursday afternoon.

"I do. It's just... Sometimes things go so fast, and...you do something in the heat of the moment you may or may not regret later." She held the ladder still for him. "I don't know. Maybe you could follow them."

"As much fun as that sounds—hell no."

She chuckled. "It was worth a shot."

"Why ain't Iris goin' with 'em?"

"Patrick had to retake an exam, and Iris didn't feel up for it if he wasn't going to be there." Or so she was told.

"Oh." He finished. "Could you gimme a light bulb?"

"Here." She held it up, and he took it, twisting it in. "Do you have plans today?"

"Other than fixin' your house up, not really."

"Do I hear some resentment?" she teased. "When I get a boyfriend, you can leave fixing my house to him."

He didn't laugh, just climbed down the ladder. "There."

"Thanks." She crossed her arms. "I'm sorry I'm having you do all of this. I'm no good at fixing appliances. Give me a dislocated shoulder though, and I'll have that fix right now." She cleared her throat at his silence.

"I'll bet." His tone was low, but hard.

She met his eyes. "Would you like to join me for dinner?"

"What? That's...kinda sudden." He laughed to hide his discomfort. He had been very...uncomfortable around her lately. Awkward, even. He didn't mean to be, but it was getting harder and harder to be around. It was the oddest feeling. He was happy, but it was like he had glass in his stomach. He didn't know what the hell that was about, but he didn't like it.

"I want to go out for a change. Since my sister is off today, and I don't have to watch the baby or Maddie, and Andrea has to work late, I thought I'd ask you. Unless you have plans. If you do, I can always go by myself."

"No. No, I don't got plans."

"So, dinner? There's a new place I want to try."

"Yeah. I—I'd love that."

"Great." She lowered her hands. "When should we leave?"

"I reckon while Sophia's on her date, so we can get back here at the same time as them."

"That's a good idea. It's a date." She smiled and heard Sophia call to her. "Excuse me." She left the garage and met Sophia in the living room.

A date. Daryl's mouth dried out. A real date? Or just something that fell out of her mouth? Was this going to be a real, actual date? Holy shit. He needed an answer. If this was going to be a date, he had no idea what to do. He'd never dated anybody before, not really, and he didn't know if there were things he supposed to do. There had to be things you do when you date otherwise you're just friends going out to get dinner together.

But if it wasn't a date and he treated it like it was, she might think he has no idea what their relationship actually is. She may not want to be friend with him after that. They've been out to eat several times before, but Sophia was almost always there, or he knew he didn't feel this way and he didn't have to worry so much because she just was a good friend. Now everything was different. It felt different, and he had no fucking idea if it was just different to him. She acted so aloof that he had no idea what the hell her intentions were anymore. Maybe it was just a friendly dinner. She would have made it known if it wasn't.

However...what if it _was_ a date and he acted like it wasn't a date and she gets pissed at him? He groaned and shook his head. He was in old jeans and a ratty shirt, and Sophia was probably leaving soon meaning he couldn't go and change into something nice, so it wasn't a date. Plain and simple. It was just a fulfilling a human need to eat.

"Daryl." Sophia waved him into the house. "I need your help."

"With what?"

"Honey. I don't want to chain her outside, so I have put her in her kennel, and she knows when she has to get in her kennel. She hates it, and she fights me, and I just need your help."

"I'll put her in there."

"Thank you, Daryl. That's really sweet." She smiled a little. "Oh, good luck on your date." She turned and left.

He felt his lip twitch, and he gave up and went to find the dog. At least he knew how to act around the dog. She was the only female in this entire house that he could always read. Always. Maybe he should have her interpret his...thing with Carol. A bark for no, a paw for yes and silence with a glare for I'm not going in that horrible torture box.

He went back to put the ladder back where it belonged then began his hunt for Honey. He checked the backyard, the basement, the pantry, Sophia's room and the bathrooms, and finally he found her sitting on Carol's bed. Carol was downstairs on the phone with someone, so of course Honey would come up here.

Slowly approaching her, he looked for her collar, and she rolled onto her back, as if sensing his intentions, and he sighed. She was a ball of licking affection, and he didn't want to have to pick her up and carry her away to her kennel. He would have if he had to, but he hoped she came easily. Maybe Carol had some of her treats upstairs. He could use them if she got too difficult.

"Hey, Honey." He bent down and rubbed her head. "You know you're goin' in your kennel one way or another, so just make it easy for me, okay?"

She licked his face.

He rubbed her neck down to her belly, seeing a black shirt underneath her, and he reached over and pulled it out from underneath her. It wasn't a shirt at all. It was some lacy sleepwear. It was on Carol's bed, so it had to belonged to...

"Daryl?" Carol called.

He jumped and tossed it, but the material was so light it didn't go anywhere. He turned as she entered the room, Honey jumped off the bed before Carol could tell her too, and she started down the hall.

"You needed somethin'?"

"I just wanted to know where you were. I thought you were still in the garage. Um, could you go wait with Sophia for Carl downstairs for me? I need to change, and he's going to be here in a couple minutes."

"Sure, yeah."

"Thanks, and try not to let Sophia stress out too much about how she looks."

He nodded and hurried down the stairs, feeling like he was leaving a crime scene, and he found Sophia in the kitchen. She was texting someone, and he figured it was Iris. He leaned against the counter and chewed on his bottom lip nervously.

"I put Honey in the kennel," Sophia told him, "but thanks for getting her downstairs. She's like a bowl of Jell-O sometimes."

"I was gonna put her away, but—"

"You were sent to wait with me?" She smiled. "It's okay. I know how Mom is, and don't worry that I'm mentally demoralizing myself. I'm not. I have Iris already unyieldingly texting me how pretty I am." She was the unwanted but loved coach of self-esteem.

"So, what's the plan?"

"Rick's going to drop us off at the theater. Possibly in his marked car." She bit her lip. "God, I hope not."

"So, y'all are just goin' to the movies?"

"And then to get some food." She slipped her phone into her jacket pocket. "We'll probably be back before ten." She crossed her arms. "Now that you've asked your questions, I demand to know what your intentions are with my mother, Mr. Dixon?"

"I'm only in it for the free food," he joked.

"Remind me to _never_ let you date my mom." She learned toward him. "And my opinion matters greatly, just ask the last dude that tried to ask her out."

He blinked. "What?"

"Are you so surprised?" She shifted her weight.

"No, no 'course not. She's...beautiful, just didn't—"

"Wait, what?" Sophia met his eyes. "We aren't talking about the same thing at all. You think my mom's beautiful?"

He blushed. "W—what the hell were you talkin' 'bout?"

"I was talking about Mom valuing my opinion on when it comes to any man who might become my stepfather one day and other things too, but that's not important now." She smiled widely. "You really think she's beautiful? Daryl—"

"Sophia," he interrupted her, " _stop_."

"Daryl, you just gave yourself away. If you weren't so defensive, I would have just thought it was a compliment. Now I know that you—" Sophia cut off when her mom joined them. "You look nice."

"Thanks, honey." She now felt self-conscious, and all she was wearing was a pretty modest brown dress with a cardigan. It was the only thing in her closet that didn't smell like dog. She didn't even know how the hell that happened, but she had a buttload of laundry to do tonight. At least her outfit for tomorrow was clean and smell free.

A car pulled into the driveway as Sophia's phone buzzed. "That must be them. I'll call you when I get home." She hugged her mom goodbye. "Have fun guys." She left then poked her head back in to say, "But not too much fun." She pointed warningly at Daryl.

"What was that?" Carol laughed, turning to him.

He chuckled nervously. "I don't now. Let's—let's just go." He cleared his throat. "I'll get the door."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He opened the door. "Whose car are we takin'?"

"Mine. As much as I adore your truck, I cannot stand the smell of fish."

He tensed. "What?"

"What?" She adjusted her purse strap and caught the look in his eyes. "What is it?"

"You just..." He shook his head. "Nothin'. I thought I heard you wrong. I'll lock up."

She nodded and walked out to her car, and he followed after locking up for her, rubbing the back of his neck. They went to the new place she wanted to try, and Daryl could only focus on two things: what Sophia had said and what Carol said before they left. He couldn't get it out of his head, but he could try and shift his focus to Carol. She looked really nice, and she was so happy lately. He didn't know why, but she just seemed to smile brighter, and she was almost always laughing. It was no surprised someone asked her out. She was so beautiful when she laughed and smiled, and he was glad he wasn't the only one who noticed it. It just made him twitch to think some asshole off the street just asked her out.

No, that was wrong. This guy might not be an asshole at all. He could be relatively nice guy. Sophia didn't like him. Or didn't approve of them dating anyway. That means something. If he were truly a good guy then Sophia would approve, and Carol wouldn't have turned him down. She would have agreed, at least for one date.

"Daryl?"

"Huh?"

"You're acting strange. What is it?"

He was successfully giving himself a headache. "It's nothin'. Just...a little distracted is all."

"What's on your mind?" She rested her arms on the table. "Let me hear it."

"No, it's fine. I'll work it out myself."

"You've been staring at the pepper shaker for twenty minutes now, are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"How was your day then? I didn't see you at the shelter."

"I wasn't at work today. I had a doctor's appointment."

"Oh." She took a drink of water.

"Sophia told me some guy asked you out," he blurted before he knew what was going to come out of his mouth. He wondered just how _spontaneous_ spontaneous combustion really was. Seriously, what the fuck was wrong with him today?

"Right, Axel." She said it casually, like it was cute or funny. "Yeah, he... he just asked me out for lunch." She paused in telling him what happened to ask him, "Have you ever met Axel?"

"No, can't say that I have."

"He works across the street from us. He's been helping Maggie with something. I can't really remember. We've only talked a few times, but I like him. He's decent."

"So...uh, what'd you tell him?"

"I declined. He's a nice guy, but...I have come so far from who I used to be, and I need a little more time before I can even consider having someone in my life, you know?" She shrugged a shoulder. "And I just...need to feel safe with whoever I am with, and I don't know him well enough yet."

"Yet?"

"I'm not going to date him, but we can be friends. Maybe one day I will feel comfortable and safe with him." She smirked toward. "Just look at us: we had a bumpy beginning, but now we're like family, so who knows."

He nodded. "Yeah."

"Why so curious?"

He faltered. "Uhhh..."

"You don't have to watch out for me, Daryl. That's my job, and Sophia's since she won't ever stop trying to protect me." She met his eyes. "I can take care of myself. I promise."

"I know you can. Always known that."

She smiled a smile that he felt was meant for only him, and he smiled back at her.

– – –

"Iris?" Andrea called up the stairs. "Honey?"

"Coming!" She rolled off her bed and tugged her shirt down, meeting her mom on the stairs. "What?"

"Dinner's ready. I made your favorite."

"Anything covered in cheese?" Iris came off the stairs.

"No, boiled potatoes, roast beef and carrots with yeast rolls."

"That's not my favorite meal. I like mashed potatoes."

Andrea smiled a little. "Make your plate before I cook you."

"Okay."

Once in the kitchen, Iris came to a halt as Shane divvied up the roast. She narrowed her eyes at him, Andrea acted completely normal about him being in their kitchen at dinnertime, and she even began to pour the drinks. Shane asked her if she like the fatty parts of the roast, and she just stared. What the hell was going on?

"Iris?" Andrea set the cups down. "Iris?"

"What's going on here?" She folded her arms.

"Dinner."

"With Shane? Not that I mind. I just feel like something's going to happen that will either backfire or I'll end up grounded."

"It's just dinner," Shane assured her.

"Okay. I'll play along, for now."

"What does that mean? We're not play—"

"She's joking," Andrea informed him. "Iris, come help me get the extra chair for the dining room."

"Sure." She gave a smile to Shane then followed her mom to the closet where the extra chairs served a makeshift coat rack.

"Could you please behave?"

"I am behaving."

"Iris."

"Why do you always have to turn everything into a fight?!" Iris demanded. "I'm being nice. I'll make better conversation during dinner. I'll say please and thank you if you get off my back for five minutes!"

"I don't mean to start a fight. I just—"

"Assume I'm going to be an ass?"

"No, of course not. I just don't know how you're ever going to react to things. This is our first family dinner, and it's also technically our first date. He chose to share that with you, and I—I'm just nervous. It's been a long time since I've dated anyone. Anyone sane, I mean."

Iris smiled. "I know I'm unpredictable sometimes, but I'm your kid so you should know that I'll be respect to anyone you're dating, unless I hate or don't trust them."

She tried to smile and nodded.

They returned to Shane and made their plates, taking them into the dining room. The conversations were easy and actually fun. Shane asked about school, and Iris was really happy with her courses this year. She loved track, and not because her best friends and boyfriend were on the team, but because she loved to run. She used to jog in the woods with her mom before work edged into the picture and Mom couldn't go running with her. Then all she had was buddy system or no running, and sadly Carol didn't run. She could, but she didn't. She and Sophia were easy targets according to everyone, so she went to the track with the couch early in the morning. Their couch was awesome, and Iris loved her. The whole team loved her. She actually spent ten minutes explaining how awesome her coach was to Shane. It was embarrassing when she realized how long she had been going on about her.

Shane was just happy to see she enjoyed school. He asked her what wanted to do when she graduated, and she was stumped. She hadn't thought about it. Sophia and Patrick were the two who always thought about the future, but she figured she'd end up as a vet or a doctor. Now that she was older, she realized there was not a chance in hell she was going to be a vet. She had helped Hershel at his clinic last summer with Sophia, and she had seen some of the stuff he had to do, and she couldn't. She just couldn't. She had seen a lot of TV shows about doctors, and—no. Just no. There wasn't anything else. Those were her two options she had as a kid. She had no clue.

"You really haven't given this any thought?" Andrea was a little shocked.

"Nope." She shrugged a shoulder. "I just...figured it'd all fall into place. That's not happening, so now I'm going to talk to the guidance counselor on Monday. Thanks, Shane. Really, though, I mean that."

"I'm glad I could help." Shane rose. "Let me take your plate."

"Thanks."

"I'll get dessert." Andrea slipped out of her chair. "Oh, Iris, I have a meeting with my boss on Saturday, so you need to let Patrick in."

Iris stared at her mom like she had spoke in pig Latin, her jaw on the table. "What?"

"Well, you sleep in on the weekends, and he'll be here at about twelve. I might be leaving the house at that time to met my boss for lunch then I have to speak to Karen, and I have some errands to run after that." She paused. "But Daryl's coming over at one to look at the gutters, so let him in too." She needed to remind him that she would pay him, even if he said no again.

"Okay, yeah." She grinned. "I will."

"Good." She followed Shane to the kitchen.

"That's a big step," he teased.

"I keep her on a short leash for my sake, and that's not fair. I always put her first so I'm going to trust her and Patrick to be mature young adults."

"Well, I'm proud of you." He grasped her waist and pulled her closer to him.

"My stomach is already in knots."

"But you saw the way she smiled."

"Yes, I did." She smiled a little. Even if she does regret this, she has to let Iris make her own mistakes. She'll never learn if she doesn't. She just needed to stand back and take a good long look at the daughter she had raised.

– – –

Daryl walked Carol to the door, Sophia had called and said they were in five minutes away from the house, so Daryl was just going to head home after he made sure Carol got inside. She unlocked the door, and he took a step back toward his truck.

"Thanks for accompanying me." She smiled at him. "I had a nice time."

"Me too." He gave a half-smile.

"Maybe next time we can just go to our usual place."

"I dunno, that place had decent food."

"You kept glaring at our waiter."

"He was a little creepy."

"He was just trying to get us to tip more than a dollar," she corrected, and he laughed a little. "Well, I have to let Honey out of her cage. She hates it, and I feel bad about leaving her inside alone. I'd invite you inside, but you seem eager to leave so I'll see you at work."

"Yeah. I'll bring you some coffee."

"Sounds great. Drive home safely. Good night." She entered the house.

"Night." He climbed into his truck and pulled out as Rick pulled in, and he drove home.

"Thanks for the ride, Mr. Grimes." Sophia gave him a smile before Carl walked her to the door.

"I'll have my own car next month," he whispered to her.

"It's fine. I'm just glad it wasn't his marked car." She dug her keys out of her pocket and met his eyes then pressed a kiss to his lips. "Good night." She disappeared inside.

"Bold," Carol teased.

"Shut up." She locked the door. "And it's awkward when your parent is watching!"

"I didn't watch." She ambled down the hall to the Honey's room.

"Uh-huh. How was your night?" Sophia followed.

"It was fine." She bent down and unlocked the kennel, Honey flew out and attacked them both with kisses, happy to see them.

"Just fine?" Sophia giggled and gently pushed Honey away, rubbing her neck.

"What else was it supposed to be?" Carol shooed them out and closed the door.

"Nothing, I guess."

"Okay, well I'm going to take a shower and get to bed. I have to wake up early and check on Jessie."

"I'm going to text Iris then get to bed." She hugged her mom before heading upstairs.

Carol watched Honey scamper over to her water bowl and drink, and she leaned against the wall, thinking about the question Sophia had asked her and the answer she has given. She inhaled and crossed her arms, rolling her eyes and calling to Honey. She didn't have room in her head for those thoughts, not tonight.


	3. Trust

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

Carol checked her watch again, and she had moved by worried hour ago. She had told Jessie to meet her for coffee, but Jessie was more than an hour late. Jessie was _never_ late. She always dropped her boys off at school, but since it a weekend they were at their grandparents' house. She swung by for their sessions and working on when she was leaving, and then she'd head home to do whatever she had to do. Today was going to her last day with Pete. They had agreed on it. What changed?

She didn't bother to call the number Jessie had given her. Instead she drove to Jessie's house and left a message on Maggie's phone to let her know where she in case she didn't come back within the hour. She reached into her glove compartment and pulled out the stun gun Daryl had given her as a late Christmas present. He felt bad about them buying him all of those things, and he thought it would be useful. And it might make her feel safer. He was right about that. She just hoped she didn't have to use it.

Sauntering across the yard, she tucked the stun gun into her back pocket, covered by her jacket, and she climbed the stairs, knocking on the door. She shifted her weight and took a deep breath in. She wasn't going to leave without Jessie, no matter what. She would not let her stand alone.

Pete was the one who opened the door, his eyes so similar to Ed's that if she was still the same woman she was five years she would shudder, but fortunately she wasn't. He didn't make her feel anything.

"Uhh, who are you?"

"A friend of Jessie's." Carol met his eyes. "Is she home? We were supposed to have coffee, but she never came. I'm concerned."

"The boys are sick so she stayed home to take care of them."

"I see. Well, I'd still like to see her and check in on the boys. I have an old soup recipe that my grandmother—"

"No," Pete cut off her. "We can take of them ourselves."

"I'm sure you can, as they're not even home." She clasped her hands in front of her. "The boys are with their grandparents, and I'm guessing Jessie is inside trying to cover the bruises."

He scoffed.

"That is a truly compelling response. Breathing."

"Look, bitch, I don't know you are and I don't fucking care, get the hell off my porch." He slammed the door in her face.

That went well. She got off his precious porch and checked out the house, seeing most of the windows were covered, and she could tell they were locked. Probably nailed shut. She heard something coming from the back of the house, and she saw yet another covered window, but the material of the curtains was worn. She peered inside and found Jessie on the bathroom floor with blood on her hands, her hair and on the floor around her. She wasn't moving either.

Carol dug out her phone and called the police. She wasn't going to let her die because that son of a bitch wouldn't let her go, and she would make sure he paid for this.

– – –

Andrea looked in on Patrick and Iris who were playing some two-player video game and waved to Iris's attention. "I have to go."

"Oh." She paused the game and climbed off the bed. "When will you be back? I can order pizza if it's late."

"I'll be back at about five hopefully. It depends." She shrugged a shoulder. "I'll call when I know for sure though, but you might want to order pizza. Do you still have money?"

"Yep."

"Well then I'll see you tonight." She met Patrick's eyes. "You too. Have fun."

Patrick nodded. "You too, if meetings can be fun."

"They're really not, but thanks."

"Bye, Mom." Iris hugged her.

She left.

Iris waited, holding her breath, until the front door closed then waited some more.

"What are you doing?" He adjusted his glasses.

"I don't believe that she's gone." She went to her mom's room and looked out the window, seeing her car pull out. "Huh." She was actually trusting her. Wow, this was weird. She didn't know that Mom had it in her, leaving Iris and Patrick alone in her bedroom in an empty house. This was a big step for both of them. Maybe Shane was a good influence on her.

She returned to her bedroom and plopped down beside him. "She's really gone."

"You sound disappointed."

"More like disbelief." She shook her head though. "So, where were we?"

"I was about to beat you again."

"If by beat you mean lose and cry like a baby then yes." She grabbed her controller and played the game.

––

"I have everything filed the way you wanted," Sophia informed Hershel, having decided to help him out every other weekend, because it was fun, and she liked to give him a hand. It was better than staying home and waiting for nothing to happen, and she got to see cute, fluffy animals. Mostly, some were cute, sickly little things that broke her heart. "And I folded the extra blankets."

"Thank you." He smiled appreciatively at her. "Do you want to take a break?"

"Uhh, sure. I'll go get some water and eat the rest of my granola bar." She'd been working on it for the past three hours anyhow. She stepped into the backroom and twisted open the bottle of water, hearing Hershel speaking on the phone with either Beth or Maggie. He had a softer tone when he spoke to them, and they called to check in on him, especially Beth. It was sweet. He was a good dad.

She had a seat and scrolled through the texts on her phone, seeing that Carl was probably still at work. He was trying to get a car for the past few months, but he had neither the money nor the permit. He was turning sixteen soon, and Rick agreed to help him with the test and the cost of the car. It was weird now that she was thinking about it, but Carl never mentioned how his mom felt about this.

She had met Lori a few times over the summer, and she was really sweet. She was the type of woman who had unbreakable strength, just like her mom, and she seemed to really care about her. They hadn't really talked much since. Maybe Mom and she could go visit them sometime. She had missed spending time with people. Mom worked so much, and Iris was really the only other person she saw. She hadn't seen her cousin in so long. Her baby cousin she saw every other week, and whenever she saw Maddie, Maddie was passed out in the backseat of her parents' car. She even tried to text her, but Maddie was so slow to reply that she stopped trying.

She received a text from Lizzie and smiled happily. They had fallen out of touch a while ago, but last year Lizzie's parents let her attend high school for the last two years for some reason, and they had all of their classes together. She'd forgotten that she had given Lizzie her number. She was glad to have someone to talk to about something other than boys and school. She loved Iris, but sometimes she wanted to talk about anything but school and boys. Lizzie was interesting and a little weird, but she was still one of her best friends.

She finished her granola bar and texted Lizzie for a few minutes more then she checked to see if Hershel needed a hand with anything. That's when she found him on the phone with someone with news so heavy that Hershel had to sit down, and her heart jumped into her throat when he looked at her. Her mom. It was her mom, wasn't it?

––

Daryl had begun his work on Andrea's house. She told him she'd be busy today, so he just assumed she and Iris were running errands. He didn't need into the house, and the shed was unlocked. He found all that he needed inside.

Unfortunately, the house wasn't empty, and he had accidentally looked in on Iris and Patrick, who had no idea he was there. Iris had screamed at the sight of some random dude at her window, Daryl didn't expect that so he lost his balance on the ladder and fell, and Iris gasped when she realized it was Daryl. She ran outside to make sure he was okay, finding him on the ground, and she dropped to her knees by him.

"Oh my God, Daryl." She tucked hair behind her ears to keep it from falling in her face. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry."

He groaned. "I—I'm fine."

She exhaled, relieved. "Here, let me... Oh shit." She saw the blood on his brow and moved his bangs back. "You're bleeding."

She helped him stand up and guided him to the kitchen where Patrick was, and luckily he had thought to grab the first aid kit from her purse. She asked him to get an ice pack and some Advil or something from the medicine cabinet as she wiped the blood off Daryl's forehead.

"You okay?" She smoothed a bandage over the wound.

"What the hell are you doin' home?" He accepted the ice pack from Patrick, his head throbbing.

"Well, I live here for one, and Mom had work-related business to do today, so I had to stay home. I thought you knew that."

"No. Didn't she tell you I was comin'?"

"Yeah, but I thought you'd knock on the front door, not creep on me and my boyfriend! Why the hell didn't you knock, or tell me you were here?" she demanded. "You scared the shit out of me!"

"I didn't know you were home either! _You_ scared the shit outta _me_!"

"I'm not the one at fault here!"

"My head begs to differ!"

"This is a very mature conversation," Patrick mused.

"Oh, shut up. He's the one being childish." She sent Daryl a glare. "How did you even get into the shed to get the ladder? It's locked. Mom always locks it."

"She unlocked it for me."

"Oh." She met his eyes. "Well...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...startle you, but you startled me first so it's partly your fault."

"Tch."

"Exhale all you like, that's all you're going to get. You didn't even apologize to me so tch to you too." She exited the room.

"Iris—" Patrick started.

"What?"

"You probably shouldn't leave it like this."

"Leave what? It's not like we have a relationship. He's my best friend's mom's best friend, and we only occasionally talk to each other. Obviously, we're not capable so why try and fix it?"

"He's doing work for your mom. For free."

"Daryl's not petty enough to screw up our house over this. He's a good man, and plus Carol would kill him. She would actually kill him." She searched his face and groaned. "Fine, but you're an asshole."

"For being a decent person?"

"Exactly. Be a child for once. Be impulsive." She turned on her heel and returned to the kitchen, swallowing before she said, "I'm sorry. Really, I am, and if you need a hand I'm pretty good at...stuff."

"Stuff?"

"Yeah, making things and fixing them. I picked some of it up over the summer with Shane and Hershel. I'm a quick study, and I know this house better than anyone. I'll help. Patrick will help." She knew he was shit at stuff like this, but he'd been drafted. There was no escaping. "What'd you say?"

He lowered the ice pack. "Thank you. That's real nice of you."

"I'm a nice person." She cleared her throat. "Sometimes, when pushed."

He met her eyes. "I'm sorry I scared the shit out of you."

"Apology accepted, Daryl." She smiled. "So, what all did Mom want you to do?"

"I got a list of things." He reached into his pocket.

"Great. Patrick can make us lemonade and iced tea." She smirked at him.

"Ha ha." He leaned against the wall.

"Well, you know you're not good at this. You tried to help me with my bike and somehow managed to break the chain. The _new_ chain." She closed the space between them and grasped his hands. "Don't worry. I think it's cute." She kissed him.

"Are you going to bring that up every chance you can?"

"Pretty much, yeah." She giggled.

"Now who's the asshole?"

Daryl gagged, and Iris rolled her eyes at him. "Can we just get to work and cut all this romance novel shit?"

"Fine. Let's get to work, Mr. Dixon, sir."

He eye twitched, and he really hoped this girl could do what she said, and it wouldn't take much time to finish this. They weren't capable at all, but they didn't spend much time together so maybe this would be good. Andrea and Carol were friends, and he was close to Sophia so maybe he could get close to Iris. Maybe, if they could talk for one minute without fighting.

– – –

Carol had called the police before she tried to get to Jessie, but they didn't exactly arrive before Pete noticed Carol lurking around. She had tried to open the window and make sure Jessie was still alive—and thankfully she was—but Pete had grabbed her from behind and hit her across the face. She landed on the ground, but before either one would react, one of his neighbors came to her aid.

Then the police arrived. Carol went to Jessie, who was in and out of consciousness, but when she woke up, she would be free of Pete. Carol wanted to be there for her, and she would call Sophia later. She needed to tell Hershel to take her home. Daryl was busy doing work for Andrea, so she hoped Hershel could take her home.

At the hospital, Carol called the Jessie's parents and told them to keep the boys overnight. If she could, she'd pick them up, but she wasn't exactly someone they knew, so she thought it best to keep them there. She hoped Ron and Sam would be all right when they got the news. It was random, and they already knew their father was abusive, so she hoped they didn't worry about having to spend the night instead of Jessie picking them up.

She called Hershel after and told him what happened, assuring him that Jessie was okay, and she was barely bruising. Pete was drunk and Jessie had taken most of his rage, so there wasn't much left when he went for her. She'd honestly had worse. She asked him to not tell Sophia what happened, just to say she was held up at work so he had to drive her home.

"I'll explain it to her when I get home."

"All right. I will."

"Thank you, Hershel. I really appreciate it."

"Don't worry about it. You'd do the same for me."

"Yes, but still thank you. I have to go though. I have to go check on Jessie."

"Okay. Goodbye, and be more careful."

"I will be. Bye." She hung up and entered the hospital. She would have to wait, but she didn't mind. Jessie was worth waiting for, and she had time and news to deliver. Very good yet also very scary news. She knew it would be hard, and going back to that house would be almost impossible, but she didn't have Pete in her life anymore. Rick would make sure of that, and Carol would help her find her way. Everyone had a path, and Carol was determined to help find Jessie's.

– – –

It was a cold night, not a single cloud in the sky, and Daryl walked the trail by his house, a flashlight in his pocket for when the trees blocked the moonlight. He wasn't as tired as he thought he would be. It was most likely all the sugar Iris added to their iced tea. Shit, that kid was something. He wasn't sure if that was good or bad, but Andrea had raised her well. She was smart and careful and special. He had fought with her all day, but they got all of what Andrea wanted done, and done well, and the most surprising thing was they both came out alive. Lucky for Patrick, who kept trying to play the middle child between the two of them. He liked Patrick. He thought he was good kid with a bright future ahead of him, but he needed to really loosen up. Iris was good for him. She was the exact opposite of the kid, so they balanced each other out.

He couldn't stop thinking about them. The entire time all three of them worked together—Patrick was normally trying to find the tools either of them needed—all they did was act all lovey-dovey, mostly to annoy him. He always thought it was weird—to be so open with your feeling. He always bottled everything up and pretended it wasn't there. It was easier to just stick to what he knew, and he knew nothing of love. He didn't know how they could just make it seem so...natural, so easy. He could barely look at Carol sometimes, and all Patrick could do was look at Iris. It was embarrassing to know a kid could express how he felt better than he could.

He wanted to tell Carol. He wanted to be with her, but honestly, he didn't have a clue how she felt. She was playful with him, but she was with other people too. He couldn't read her. He never could. It was so annoying at times like this. She was going to give Axel a chance, so maybe she didn't like him the same way he liked... _loved_ her. It made him sick to think that if he ever told her, she'd reject him and they'd grow apart. She was really the only friend he'd ever had, and he couldn't stand to lose her.

But honestly he couldn't stand to be around her and not grab her and kiss her, or even just hold her. He watched her all the time, and way too long to just be friends, and he couldn't stop himself. He wanted to. He didn't want anybody to notice, but he was slipping up too much. Sophia knew. Iris teased him about it, so perhaps she knew too. He didn't want anyone else to know, especially not someone he didn't know. Sophia wouldn't say anything, and Iris wouldn't either. The next person to find out might not kept his secret. He'd rather Carol hear it from him than someone else.

He just couldn't. He couldn't risk exposing himself like that. He had only ever been open and honest with Ella and Merle, but even with them he had limits. With Carol... he didn't feel like he had to hide. He could feel like a normal person around her instead of a shadow. He wasn't a piece of blurred background, not when she smiled at him like he was the only thing that mattered. She made him something more. Ella made him into a father and a better man, and he let that better man die the second she left this Earth. Carol had helped bring him back. Sophia too. He just didn't want to lose that man, or them. He had lost so many people...

But he would lose her still if he did nothing. Axel was a decent guy. Maggie wouldn't work with anyone with a shady past. She just wouldn't put any of the women and children and staff at risk. He was a little strange, but that's only because they didn't know each other personally. What Daryl did know about him was he made Carol laugh. He made her smile. He would be around the office more and more, and each time he _would_ get closer to Carol. Eventually she would get comfortable and her doubts would leave. They might date and possibly even get married, if she ever wanted to remarry. Eventually, even if she didn't mean for it to happen, they would drift apart. He would just be a work friend to her and Sophia.

 _Fuck_! He just couldn't win. _What the hell was he going to do?_ He groaned and sat down on a large rock nearby, dragging his fingers through his hair and stewing for a few minutes, the sounds of night deafening as his mind filled with dramatic scenarios.

Minutes passed, and he lifted his head, giving a weary sigh. He remembered he told Ella to never regret anything. He had a lot of regrets, and he tried not to think about them, but sometimes they were overwhelming. He didn't want Ella to make his mistakes, so he taught her lessons he had learned. He wanted her to be better than Celia and him. Maybe it was time he took his own advise. What was the point of swallowing how he felt? He'd been isolated all his life, been rejected, so whatever came...it couldn't be any worse than the other times. And if it was then he would just have to...put himself back together. He had done it so many times before. What was one more time?

Honestly he didn't know how she would respond, and he wouldn't pull away from her without her knowing why. He respected her too much to do that to her.

– – –

The house was a mess! Sophia had not only not put Honey in her kennel, but she had left Honey to roam the house and get into everything! She wanted to get home, take a bath and sleep. Now she had to clean up the mess of open trash bags and potty spots and make sure Honey was all right from eating all of the crap they'd thrown away. At least Sophia was helping. That was the only upside. Well, Honey not vomiting everywhere as well.

Instead of a bath, she had a shower and was taking out the trash. Sophia had passed out on the couch, so she didn't bother to wake her. She covered her with the blanket and stepped outside to throw away the last bag. She saw headlights and pulled her cardigan closer, wondering who was here at this hour.

She walked around to the front of the house and spotted Daryl's truck. She smiled at the sight of him and waved. He got out of the truck, his headlights still on, his truck still running, like he needed a getaway car. She frowned a little at that but greeted him all the same.

"Hey, what's up?" She looked over his face and felt panic crawling up her throat. "Daryl?"

He said nothing with his voice, but he was saying everything with his body. His hands opening and closing restlessly, his feet shifting back and forth, like he wanted to just walk away, and he wouldn't meet her eyes. He looked terrified.

"Daryl, what happened?" She stepped closer, her heart pounding. "Daryl, please—talk to me. What's going on?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but the words didn't escape, not even stutters. He moved so that the space between them was gone, Carol was searching his face, and his breathing was heavy, as if he had ran the entire way here. He had never felt like this before. It was an entirely different kind of fear, and he knew he just had to do it. When it was over...they'd talk, but he had to do this now. Or he never would. He just need to gather his courage, all of it in fact.

"Daryl?" Her voice was soft, worried, the racing of her heart turning her stomach. What was wrong? What happened? He looked physically ill. Why wasn't he talking to her?

He set his hands on her cheeks and smashed his mouth into hers, his eyes shut and his heart pounding so much it made his stomach twist. A startled gasp slipped out before Daryl's lips crushed hers, and she looked at him, unable to respond, because how in the hell could she? She didn't know why this was happening. She couldn't even react to his lips on hers. She was in shock. This had to be the last thing she ever expected Daryl to do to her.

When he finally pulled away, he said nothing. He didn't move or run away like his body wanted. He just watched her. He looked paralyzed, and that was perfectly understandable. She felt the same way. She didn't really know why he did that. At least she didn't want to think about why. She was terrified herself to know why he did that, because if it was what she thought it was then they had a problem. A big problem.

She reached up and grasped his hands on her cheeks, lowering them to her sides, and she just studied his face, not speaking, the words just not there. This wasn't something they could talk through, not just yet, not when there were no words coming to either of them. It was easier to not speak right now anyway; it was better to just trust her instincts, what they were telling her, what she needed and wanted badly to do. She tilted her head, feeling him pulling away from her reaction, or what he thought was her reaction. She tightened her grip on his hands, set her forehead on his and lifted her head so that her lips were in front of his, their breaths mingling, and she kissed. Then she kissed him a second time, pulling him closing as the nerves in her body came alive, and then the third time he kissed her, a tingling feeling spread throughout his entire body.

It was a cold night, not a single cloud in the sky, and in the moon's unconcealed light, the pair were tangled up in each other, the warmth from their kisses fighting the cold that blew at them.


	4. New To This

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

The tea no longer had steam by the time the clock read ten after one, Carol kept adjusting the teabag in her mug just to have something to do with her hands, and Daryl was picking at his nails for no real reason. The clock from the hall tick-tocked loudly at them, reminding them how late it was and how much time had passed since they'd said a word.

Once the kisses had stopped, they came inside to talk about it and what they meant to their relationship. This was their talking. It was different between the two of them. They were best friends for so long, and if this didn't work out then they were destroying more than their hearts. Carol had never been friends with someone before dating them. At least not like Daryl. She wasn't sure what to do. Or say, honestly. Even when she wasn't supposed to speak she had plenty of thoughts. Why couldn't she just have one now?

Daryl chewed on his bottom lip that still remembered Carol's, and he wanted to smile, but it was now awkward, the room full of tension. There were so many things that needed to be said, and they both weren't sure how to say them. Their relationship had changed, they had made it change and now begged the question of where was this going. It was very real that neither of them knew the answer to the question.

Carol finally met his eyes. "Daryl—" She sighed. "It's late. We... we should talk about this, but it's really late, and I promised Sophia we'd go shopping tomorrow. We can have dinner on Monday, though, if you're available. I'd like to talk soon."

He nodded. "Yeah, me too." He met her eyes. "I can do dinner."

"I'll call you tomorrow and we'll decide where and when to meet." She forced a smile. "I have to get some sleep. I can walk you out."

"Nah, I'll show myself out." He cleared his throat, and they both rose. He walked by her, and there was an awkward moment because he wasn't sure if he should kiss her goodbye or just leave. There was a screeching silence between them in that moment, finally she just kissed his cheek, and they both headed out.

That dinner might set the restaurant on fire from their tension.

– – –

"We've been here for an hour, I have two new skirts, a new dress and three tops, and you aren't complaining about spending too much money. Where's my mom?" Sophia teased, but her mom didn't bite. "Mom?"

"Hmm?" She blinked. "Yeah, you can buy it."

"Okay, that's hideous, and you're spacing. What's going on?" She searched her eyes. "Did something happen I should know about?"

"No."

"There is. What happened? Who did it happen with? Are you okay?" Panicked filled her eyes. "Oh, my God, are you okay?"

"Yes, I am fine, Sophia." She turned to face her. "It's nothing, really."

"Mom, you have to tell me because I will freak out until you tell me. You know how I am. I worry, and I will continue to worry until I die, or you tell me, or I dig out the truth."

She sighed. "It's not any of your business. Everything is fine with me, so don't worry about me."

"How come when it's me, it's your business but when it's you it's your business?" She crossed her arms.

"Because I grew you, and everything you do is my business. That's why."

"That's not at all fair."

"I know." She smirked. "Get used to it."

"Mom, you can trust me. And if you don't tell me, I'll feel like you don't. What happened? Please?"

"Why do you think there's something to tell? I didn't get much sleep last night, and I've had no real coffee. I am just exhausted."

"I'm your daughter, and...I heard Daryl's truck pulling into the driveway last night. He didn't leave for a really long time. Is he okay?" She searched her mom's eyes. The last time Daryl came over late at night was on Ella's birthday. He didn't want to be alone, so they stayed with him and watched old movies and played games. Eventually they all just passed out on the couch. It was really fun, and really sad too. She hoped Daryl was all right.

"Daryl's fine. He just came by to tell me about something work-related. It wasn't interesting."

Sophia narrowed her eyes. "Are you... are you blushing right now?"

"No." She turned on her heel. "Are we done here? I'm kind of hungry."

"You are blushing!" She gripped her mom's arm and stepped in front of her. "What did he do?"

"Sophia!" Carol's tone was warning.

"Obviously it wasn't _that_ , so what?" She was grinning. "Did he kiss you?"

"I'm leaving." She walked away.

"He _did_! He kissed you!" She fell into step with her. "Oh, my God! I knew he liked you, but I didn't think he'd actually—"

"What?" Carol whirled around. "You knew he what?"

She swallowed hard and stammered. "He—he just... Well, the other day he kinda let it slip that he thought you were beautiful then he went defensive so I figured out that he liked you. Romantically liked you, not just friendly liked you. I didn't know he was planning on acting on those feelings, and it seemed like a secret so I kept it. Sorta kept it."

"He thinks I'm beautiful?"

"He does."

She looked distressed.

"What's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Do you have everything you need?"

"Yeah, I guess, but—"

"Then let's get something to eat and go home. I have laundry to finish, and I don't like leaving Honey by herself for so long."

"Aren't we going to talk about this?"

"Daryl and I will talk about it."

"If there's even a small chance you and Daryl will date, I have a right to know. He could end up as my stepfather some day."

"We're not going to talk about this, because I don't know if there's even a small chance I want to date Daryl."

"Why wouldn't you? He's a great guy. He's been with us through everything that happened. We both trust him, and I love him. He's like family to me. Why wouldn't you—?"

"Because he keeps secrets," Carol interrupted Sophia. "And our entire relationship will change and be at risk every step of the way, because I know him. Sophia, I know you would love to have us be together, because you trust him and have known him for years, but our relationships with him are completely different! There are things you don't know, and there are things he can't handle to even begin a healthy, stable relationship! And I don't want to talk about this with you anymore! It's none of your business!"

"Okay." Her voice was soft. "We won't talk about it. Let's get some food."

"Sophia—"

"I get it, Mom. I'm sorry. You've obviously given this a lot of thought, and I won't bug you about it. It's not my business." She smiled. "But that Chinese food is. I'm starving."

Carol returned her smile, and they changed the subject as they walked toward the food court. To be honest, Carol hadn't thought about it all at. She didn't even know she felt that way until Sophia prodded her. She just wasn't sure. She had no idea how to do this. There would be no going back, she knew that. They were either together as a couple or nothing at all. Their friendship might not be able to come back from this.

– – –

"I do trust her," Andrea repeated.

"Then stop watching your phone like you want to call and check on her."

"I don't need to check on her. She sent me a text five minutes ago."

"Stop watching your phone." Shane reached for it, but she grabbed it. "Andrea."

"I'm just going to call and make sure she's feeling all right. She had an upset stomach when she left."

"Andrea."

"I'm already dialing."

"You're insane."

"Well, I just know they're in the backseat of his car making out," she replied.

"You do realize you're this close to stalking her?"

"I'm not stalking her. I'm just worried about her."

"Dating? You just said you trust Patrick and her."

"I do, but she's sixteen. She's a hormonal time bomb." She didn't push send, just looked at the number. "And I'm worried that she might...not be safe."

"Then prepare her so she can be. That's all you can do."

"And if that's not enough?" She couldn't look at him. "What if she gets pregnant? What if...something happens and I lose her?" That was her biggest fear. They had been with each other through everything, and Andrea couldn't bear to lose her. She was the best part of her life, and if she were to ever lose Iris there would be very little point in living.

"What do you mean, if something happens?"

She shuddered, her eyes burning. "Forget it. I'm just being paranoid."

"No, you were being specific. Is Iris at some kind of risk?"

She inhaled slowly. "No. Not really."

"Andrea... If there was, did you tell her?"

She gripped her phone and met his eyes. "There's nothing to tell."

"If there was, she needs to know."

"Why would she need to know?" she whispered.

"Did you really just ask me that?"

"I just think her knowing would only make things worse. She won't trust me. She may even hate me for not telling her."

"Don't be ridiculous. She ain't gonna hate you." He closed the space between them and set his hands on her cheeks. "You just need to sit down and talk to her. Actually talk to her—like she's an adult and not a kid, because she practically is."

"When this goes south, you owe me a drink."

"And when it doesn't, you owe me a dinner."

She smiled a little, her heart not in it, and she nodded. "Fine, but I'm still going to call her." She ducked out of his arms and pressed send. She waited, Shane just shook his head at her, and she promised, "I'll make this up to you."

"Uh-huh." He leaned on the back of the couch.

"Wow, you barely waited an hour. I'm impressed." Iris finally answered, moving hair out of her face. "What is it?"

"I just wanted to call and check on you. How's the movie?"

"Not playing yet." She shifted. "It starts in twenty minutes. You know that. We had to get stuff for our project in anatomy and physiology, and by the way, the pictures are disgusting."

"Oh, right. I forgot. How's the project going?"

"Can we talk about this when I get home?"

"Sure. Where are you two now?"

"Where are you now?"

"Iris, just answer the question."

"We're outside the theater." It wasn't a total lie. Well, it was, but she wouldn't know. "Why? Do you want to make sure I'm telling the truth? Are you out here in a car watching for us?"

"No. I just wanted to check on you."

"Why don't you just wait for me to call or text you like every other mother in the world? Sometimes you're very creepy."

"I just wanted you to know that I need to talk to you tomorrow night, and that you need to lock up when you come home, because I'll be out."

"Really? Where are you going?"

"To Shane's."

"Oh." A pause. "Eww!"

She rolled her eyes. "Anyway, just make sure to lock up."

"I will."

"Okay, I'll see you in the morning."

"You too. Be...safe."

"You too. Oh, and Iris?"

"Yeah?"

"I can hear Patrick breathing."

She laughed, not trying to cover or anything. She just couldn't not laugh, and Patrick just looked at her like she was insane. She could hear her mom trying to talk to her, but she couldn't stop laughing, and when she finally manged to bring it down to giggles, she apologized and cleared her throat.

"Just keep it PG."

"Because I had every intention of doing it in the back of a car. Darn, Mom, it was my dream."

"You're not as funny as you think you are."

"I happen to think I'm hilarious. Besides, I am joking, and there's not even enough room to—"

"Iris Elena Blake, I beg you to shut up before I do come and get you."

"Would you just breathe? I'm not stupid, okay? I'm sarcastic and a bit of a bitch, but not stupid. I promise I'll talk to you before I make any kind of decision like that." Her voice was soft, a whisper. "Now I have to go see a movie, and you need to lighten up. I'm going to return to making out with my boyfriend in the backseat of his car, which I'm guessing you assumed we were doing anyway. I love you. Goodbye."

"Uh...I love you too, but—" She was hung up on and glanced at Shane, who was smirking at her. "What are you smirking at?"

"She's a good kid. You just need to accept that."

"She's just not a little kid anymore. I need to treat her better, tell her the truth more." She bit her bottom lip. "All right, let's go."

"You sure you don't wanna call Sophia and see how her date's goin'?"

"Shut up." She smiled.

"I think my niece has a date too. Do you wanna give her a call?"

"Asshole."

"Better than being a stalker." He pushed off the couch and grasped her hand. "C'mon."

At least she didn't have a GPS tracker on Iris's phone. She would have to smack herself if she even got close to doing that.

– – –

"Do you ever wish you were adopted?" Lizzie asked Iris and Sophia at lunch.

"God no." Iris made a face. "That'd be horrible. Why would you ever wish that?"

"Have you met my family?"

Sophia crinkled her nose. "They're not so bad."

"They're the worst."

"Everybody says that about their family. I don't get it." Sophia pursed her lips. "I wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's, and I don't really fight with my mom either."

"Luckily for you, your mom's sane and actually trusts you with meaning." Iris copied Patrick's notes from Latin.

"What'd she do this time?" Lizzie tucked hair behind her ear.

"Called me in the middle of my date, which would be fine if she hadn't already called me twice before that." She glanced up at them from her papers. "I get that she wants me to be safe, but honestly she's just pushing on my last nerve. I think she'd have a heart attack if I told her about the Halloween party last year."

"I had a heart attack when you told me about the Halloween party last year," Lizzie replied.

She laughed. "It wasn't that surprising, was it?"

"Iris, you really don't know impulsive and childish you can be, do you?"

She glared.

"Don't be mad, it's the truth." Sophia crossed her legs. "When you're mad, you're like an eight-year-old."

"On second though, I think I will finish these in the library." She gathered up her notebooks and purse.

"Iris."

"It's quieter, and I have a test."

"You need to eat."

She picked up a carrot stick and ate it, walking away.

Sophia frowned. Andrea needed to worry more about Iris's diet than anything. Ever since Molly started showing an interest Patrick, Iris has been doing everything to make sure they didn't even become friends. Somehow that meant being skinnier and more intelligent than Molly. This wasn't going to end well. What the hell was she thinking?

"Why don't you invite us over to your house?" Lizzie suggested. "We force-feed her if we have to, and it keeps Andrea and your mom out of it."

"Yeah. Mom has dinner plans tonight so we can do that."

"Unless you want to tell her mom."

"Not yet. It's only been a few days. I'm sure she's eats at home." Her eyes told a different story however.

– – –

"Mom?" Iris called into the house, pulling her key from the door. "Mom?" She shrugged and let Patrick in. "She's probably at work."

"Her car's in the driveway."

"Maybe Shane gave her a lift." She grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge. "We can go up to my bedroom. I have the research on my laptop, and Mom's printer's upstairs for some reason."

"Sure."

Climbing the stairs, they strolled to her bedroom and began working on their project. Normally it would be a one person project, but there weren't enough STDs on their teacher's list, and she was to lazy to dig out more, so they were partnered together. They had syphilis, and Sophia and Carl had Hepatitis B. For some reason, it really freaked people out when she told them she had syphilis then she remembered they didn't know about the report.

"Hey, can you drive me home after track practice tomorrow?" Iris glued the title on.

"Sure. Molly's gonna be with us. I hope you don't mind."

She forced a smile. "'Course not. Why would I mind?"

"Because of what happened with Sophia and her."

"Right, well, it's been years." She cut out the pictures. "How do you even know Molly?"

"We've been neighbors all our lives. Our moms went to school together."

Oh, great, they're moms know each other. "Sounds like you're meant to be together," she muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing, just...really grossed out by these pictures." She glanced at him then returned to work, feeling her stomach growling, and she crossed her legs, trying to silence the growls, hoping he couldn't hear them.

"Do you have to use the bathroom?" He seemed amused.

"No, no." She stood up. "Music? It's really quiet."

"Sure."

She went over to her stereo and turned on whatever was in, her gaze falling to a picture of her mother, and she knew exactly what she would say to her. She turned the picture and took her sat, rubbing the back of her neck and looking over what more they had to do, focusing on the music and work rather than the pain shooting up in her stomach.

– – –

"I hope this goes well." Sophia zipped up her mom's dress, meeting her eyes in the mirror. "Either way it goes."

"So do I. Thanks for zipping me."

"Uh-huh." She sat down on her mom's bed as she continued to get ready. "So, could I have Lizzie and Iris over for dinner? I don't wanna eat alone, and Carl's studying for his driving test, so I don't want to disturb him."

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Great." She grinned and hopped up, heading out the door to text them. "By the way, you look beautiful. Daryl's gonna be speechless." Even more so than he would have been.

"Thank you."

Sophia started their dinner, and Carol stressed about her dinner until Daryl pulled up. Sophia could barely get two words out of him, and Mom could only say goodbye to Sophia. She hoped this dinner went well, because that was just sad. She also hoped her dinner went well and they didn't have to force-feed Iris applesauce until she barfs.

At the restaurant, they practically studied the menu like they were going to have an exam on it afterward. Daryl kept shifting in his seat, his eyes looking at her but also not. It was as if he was scared to look at her directly, as if she would blind him or see him for what he really was and it would all be over. He didn't want that to happen. He didn't want it to be over, but he was frightened that it already was. They couldn't even look at each other after all. His heart was pounding so much that he was sick to his core. He didn't know how he was going to swallow anything tonight.

Carol sat across from him, her legs crossed, her hands resting in her lap, eyes on the menu. She wasn't reading any of the words. She was peering at Daryl through the glass of water by the end of her menu, and she could see how nervous he was. She was nervous too. She hadn't really thought this would happen. She had...feelings, but she never thought that he did too. At least not for her. Honestly, she never would have guessed that he was attracted to her. She couldn't...seem to stop. She tried to. She really wanted to not have feelings for him. She was worried for the longest time she only felt the way she did because he was the first decent man in her life, but she had realized that wasn't true. She had fallen for him, because of who he was and how he treated them and how he treated others. He stumbled sometimes, but he always found his way again. She loved that about him. She always would, no matter what happened tonight.

Their server came and took their order and their precious menus, leaving them to only stare at the bread sticks. Carol kept trying to find words but her mouth was dry, and no matter how many sips of water she took, she felt like her tongue was swollen. Hell, even her palms were slightly moist, and her heart was pounding in her throat harder and harder as seconds ticked by.

Daryl was worse. He could have sworn the back of his shirt was getting more and more drenched in sweat every moment that passed they didn't speak. His hands were balled up on the table, his eyes on the glass of water, seeing her blurry, distorted reflection, and he knew she looked stunning. He could smell her perfume, and it was nice. He had never known her to wear perfume. She did that for him. She had dressed up for him. He had to speak. He needed to explain, but how did he? How did he do this? Kissing her was the easy part, explaining that he was so in love with her it physically made him ill to think of her being with anyone else was the implausible part.

"Karen—" Carol began as Daryl managed to utter, "Let—"

They looked up when their sentences were interrupted, and they laughed. They both try to speak and both manage to cut into the other's words. Of course that would happen.

"Karen recommended this place, didn't she?" Carol spoke, knowing that if she had encouraged him to continue he would tell her to speak. She was going to spare them that.

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"She and Ty were engaged here." She set her hands on the table. "We come here every Christmas even and exchange gifts as well. They have good cheesecake."

"What about the rest of the food?"

"Eh." He chuckled once and met her eyes, feeling his anxiety melt away. "Don't worry. Ty assures me there steaks are good. I usually order—"

"—eggplant Parmesan," he said with her.

She nodded. "I'm trying something new tonight. I might as well." She took a drink of water, although her throat no longer felt stuck together.

"I just wanna say that...what happened the other night..." he trailed off then lifted his head. "I...don't regret it."

"You don't?" She smiled a little. "I don't either."

" _You_ don't?" He sounded so shocked, and by how she giggled, he must have looked pretty damned shocked too. "Good. I mean...that's good. I'm glad."

She reached over and clasped his hand. "I'm glad too, but we need to talk about this."

"I know."

"Why did you kiss me?" She never looked away from his eyes. "And...how... how long had you wanted to do that?"

"An embarrassingly long time," he confessed, starting with the easier of the two, and she smiled that smile he now knew was definitely only for him. "Why did I kiss you?" He thought for a second then said, "I kissed you 'cause I like you."

"You like me?" She hadn't heard that in a romantic way since high school, but it was also a lie. Not a bad one, and she could see that he wasn't ready to say it, not to her. She understood, and honestly she wasn't ready for those three words either. "I like you too, but Daryl...if we do this... if we date, we'll have to be honest with each other, and I don't want to push you to tell me anything. I just need to know that trust me enough to be open with me about anything in your own time."

"I've never...done this before," he admitted. "Hope you don't mind...helpin' me through it."

"We're both new to this," she assured him. "We'll take it slow, and we'll help each other."

He nodded, his thumb rubbing across her knuckles. "Yeah."

"I also have one request."

"What?"

"You have to be there when I tell Sophia." She didn't want to be the only one to lose hearing for an hour when Sophia let out an ungodly squeal.

"I'd like that."

She smiled. He'll regret that the minute they step into the house, but for now she'd let him think it was going to be fun. "Bread stick?"

– – –

"Where the hell is she?" Lizzie checked her watch.

"I don't know. She won't pick up her phone." Sophia had bit her bottom lip bloody. "Let's walk over there."

"Yes, two young girl walking down the street in the middle of the night is a brilliant plan."

"Well, I have to know what happened to her! Patrick was supposed to drop her off half an hour ago! How long does it take to glue pictures to a cardboard stand?"

"Hello?" Iris called.

"Oh, thank God." Sophia ran out of the dining room and hugged Iris. "What kept you?"

"My project." She was confused. "What's going on?"

"Nothing!" Sophia released her.

"I hope you don't mind, but I brought Patrick. He's mom and dad are gone for the week, and I don't think he survive off of frozen meals for much longer."

Sophia looked over her shoulder at him. "Hey, Patrick."

"Hey." He smiled politely. "Thanks for inviting me."

"Yeah." She turned on her heel and led them to the dining room. "It's just pasta, garlic bread and salad, but I hope you like it."

"It smells good." Iris sat down by her. "Did you make this?"

"Yeah." She handed Iris the salad. "There's pop in the fridge if you don't want water."

"I'm good with water. Pop's not good for my teeth."

Sophia watched Iris put salad on her plate then pasta and two piece of garlic bread, and Iris lifted her eyes to see Sophia smiling like a creeper at her. "What?"

"I like your blouse."

"You look like you want to see me out of my blouse. It's creeping me out."

Lizzie snorted and laughed.

"Sorry." Sophia blushed and ate her food.

It was good. Iris was eating, Patrick and Lizzie were spending time together so Lizzie could see if he was worth Iris, and Sophia didn't have to eat with Honey begging for food alone. She was so happy at how it turned out. Iris seemed completely all right and normal, and Sophia didn't have to worry about her starving herself. It was such a relief.

"Do you guys want an ice cream cone?" Sophia set the plates in the sink and rinsed them off so Iris could put them in the dish washer. "They're in the freezer if you do."

Iris looked distant and sad as she loaded the dishwasher, and Sophia frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Huh?" She blinked. "Wrong? Oh, nothing. I'm just tired. It's been a long day, and I look sad when I'm exhausted." She smiled. "Thanks for dinner. You should cook for me more often. All of my food comes out pretty much burnt."

"Not all the time, and you're welcome."

"I can make a killer grilled cheese."

"You add bacon."

"Exactly."

She laughed. "So, how are things?"

"Okay, I guess."

"You guess? Didn't you just spend three hours together?"

"Working on syphilis. It's hard to talk when you're looking at lumpy, puss-y parts."

"Iris, if it bothers you so much that he's friends with Molly, just tell him."

"Tell him what? That he can't be friends with other girls? That's insane."

"She's not a girl, she's Satan!"

"Satan's his neighbor," she told her. "And their moms are friends. They probably have their wedding planned and picture how their kids will look."

"Them or you?"

"What does it matter? People always leave so why am I not used to it?"

"Iris, I'm not going anywhere."

"Yet."

"Yeah, we're still teenagers. We have two years before we're adults and we have to leave for college, or decide anything major. Whatever happens, we'll be friends. We're Iris and Sophia. You're stuck with me." Sophia smiled at her. "Forever. Trust me, you'll want me to leave."

"I kinda want you to leave now," Iris joked.

"Too bad." She laughed and grabbed the salad dish, not noticing Iris wipe at her eyes.

"I have to get home." Lizzie announced. "My dad's picking me up, so I'm going to wait outside."

"Am I giving you a ride home?" Patrick asked Iris.

"Nah, I'll have Mom pick me up."

"You sure? I don't mind."

"I'm sure. Bye." She kissed his cheek and left to wash her hands in the bathroom.

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah." Sophia nodded. "I'll see you at school."

Lizzie and Patrick left, Sophia closed the dishwasher and wiped down the dining table. She waited for Iris to come back and when she didn't, she searched for her. She was in the bathroom, helping herself to their mouthwash. Sophia didn't ask why she was doing that, but she did ask why she lied to Patrick.

"What lie?" She flicked the light off.

"Andrea's not coming to get you."

"I'm walking home. It's not that far."

"It's far enough. You're not walking home alone. Are you stupid? Do you know what could happen?"

"Oh my God, do you hear yourself? I'm fine. I need some air, so I'm walking home. You're not my mother."

"If I was your mom, I'd ground you."

"I'm leaving."

"No, you're not." She grabbed her elbow. "You're staying the night, or at least until Mom and Daryl get back then one of them can take you home."

"No thanks."

Outside Carol and Daryl pulled up, and they came into the girls yelling at each other. Carol broke them up before it got physical and demanded to know what was going on.

"She wants to walk home." Sophia pushed hair out of her face. "She's being a dumbass about it."

"You don't say that," Carol told her daughter then turned a sharper tone to Iris, "and _you are not_ walking home."

"I can if I want to. You're not my mom, you're just her friend."

"Iris, stop now. I'm not going to fight with a sixteen-year-old, so get your things if you have any and get your ass in my car. You have five minutes."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

Carol shook her head at Daryl and turned to her daughter. "Go get ready for bed. We'll talk when I get back."

"Okay. Thanks for siding with me." She headed upstairs to her room.

"We can tell her some other time," Daryl said before Carol could. "I gotta get home anyway."

"I'll call you tomorrow." She saw Iris storming out the front door and followed her. "Iris."

"What? I'm getting into your frigging car!"

"I can see that."

"Then what's with the Iris tone?"

"Tone?"

"You and Mom both have it. I'm not a child, so you have shove your tone—"

"Enough!" Daryl interrupted her, and Carol was startled by him. "Get your ass in that car and shut the hell up."

"Excuse me? Who do you think you are? And who the hell said you could talk to me like that?"

"Who said you could talk to her like that?" he retorted. "Act your age, and you won't be mistaken for a kid. Have some respect."

"Whatever." She scoffed and dropped into the car, slamming the door shut. "Fuck you, asshole," she murmured under her breath, folding her arms and rolling her eyes to keep the angry tears at bay.

"Where did that come from?" Carol asked, trying to repress her smile.

"Sorry, it just...came out."

"Well, thank you. You may hear from Andrea, but thank you."

"You better go take her home. From the look of her, she might break somethin' just 'cause she can."

"She's just angry and is taking it out on us." She glanced at Iris, seeing her rub her eyes. "I should get her home."

"I'll see you tomorrow." He backed up. "Good night."

"Good night." She got into her car and offered Iris a tissue.

"I'm fine." She turned away, her hair blocking her face.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing! God, just take me home."

"You can talk to me."

"Don't try and shrink me. I said I'm fine."

"You're lying."

"What does it matter?"

"Because it does. You do."

"Who said I think I don't matter?" She sniffed, trying to make it silent, but that was impossible.

"You just did." She reached over and wiped away a tear that fell. "What is it, honey?"

"I don't want to talk about it. I just want to go home and sleep."

"Okay." She started the car and backed up, trying to not let it kill her as Iris silently broke down in the seat beside her.


	5. Blowing Up And Moving On

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

Daryl was working on the lights in the supply closet, some bad wiring that Maggie had found, and he spent the majority of his day working on it. Carol was with Jessie, just to be there for her and her boys, and they were going to meet when school let out. Sophia had some news about some school event that was happening in a few weeks, and somehow he had gotten involved in the grunt work. It was no surprise. As long as he didn't have to work with a group of clueless people, he didn't mind.

"Daryl." Maggie rushed over to him as he came off the ladder. "I just wanted to warn you that—"

"Who the hell do you think you are to talk to my sixteen-year-old daughter like that?" Andrea furiously exclaimed.

"—Andrea's here," Maggie finished.

"It's all right." He gave a nod, and she left them. "You're pissed?"

"You know what, Daryl, why don't you tell me if I'm pissed? I mean, I only found my daughter crying her eyes out into her pillow last night."

"She was cryin'?"

"Bawling." She was glowering at him so much that if she had the power his head would explode and each little piece it broke into would be aflame. "What did you say to her?"

"She was goin' off on Carol for no reason. She ain't got no respect for anybody! If you wanna be pissed, be pissed at yourself. You did a poor job of raisin' that girl."

A muscle in her jaw jumped. "Don't you fucking dare bring up how I choose to raise _my_ daughter, Daryl Dixon. And I don't need parenting advise from _someone like you_!"

"Someone like me?" He glared back at her.

"Yes, a former drunkard who wallows in the past and won't own up to his mistakes!"

He simply scoffed in her face. "You're a piece of work lady. Do you have any idea what shit you put that kid through? Do you have any idea what your actions have forced her to do? Don't talk to me about parentin' when your kid is goin' off the deep end and you aren't even noticin' it! I ain't gonna apologize for doin' _your_ job!" He had locked eyes with her. "You needa take a look at yourself before you storm in here to have it out with me. If you were a decent parent, Iris wouldn't be throwin' fits to get attention!" He tossed the tool he had been clutching into his toolbox and walked away then called, "And by the way, Carol happens to be your friend too. You need to make sure your kid apologizes to her."

She whirled around. "Do you really think you deserve her?"

He stopped in mid-turn.

"You could live a hundred life times and _never_ deserve that woman. She's just too kind to tell you that." She adjusted her purse strap. "Why don't you fix yourself before you try and tell me to fix my parenting, eh? You're an asshole, Daryl, and I don't want you anywhere near my daughter ever again." She stormed off as quickly as she came.

Daryl swallowed hard, a lump forming in his throat, and he slowly looked up, seeing some of the kids and parents holding each other at the sound of their fight. He didn't have words to comfort them, and Maggie ushered them out of there, telling them he needed to work, and he sat down in the empty hall, racking his hands through his hair and closing his eyes.

The clock was ticking loudly beside him, and he counted the minutes as the voices he had tried to smother began to scream and overlap, telling him all of the things he knew to be true but desperately wanted to ignore. He so badly wanted to be enough for somebody like Carol, but that wasn't possible, was it? She's right. He's a broken mess, and Carol didn't deserve that. She needed a whole, good man. Who the hell was he to keep her in this sham of a relationship? Christ.

He tugging hard on the hairs his fingers held then he heard a soft voice and he dropped his hands.

"Working hard, handsome?" He looked up at her, her smiling banishing the dark thoughts back to where they belonged, and she sat down beside him, pulling in her legs and resting her arms on her knees. "It's nice and quite. I wonder how Maggie managed that."

"Dunno," he rasped.

"Hmm." She pulled her legs in more and leaned over, resting her head on his shoulder, nuzzling closer so that her nose met the skin of his neck. "I like it."

"Mmm?"

"The quiet, I like it." She laced her fingers through his. "Especially since I'm not alone to enjoy it."

"...yeah, it's nice."

– – –

"How's the kid?" Daryl asked on Tuesday, fixing the air conditioning unit for the shelter with Carol's help.

"She's good. She's at the Samuels' right now, studying for a math test. They've gotten so ridiculous since I was in school. I can't help her with it. Though Lizzie's little sister, Mika, loves school and is helping them with her homework. And Mika's a freshmen." At their last sleepover, Mika had basically schooled Carol while Sophia, Iris and Lizzie were preparing the basement for the sleepover. Carol hadn't cared because they cleaned up their mess, and they weren't doing anything bad. For some reason, those girls really like the basement. Most likely because it was carpeted and spacious, and it was the only place they could be loud.

"I meant the other one. Iris."

"I don't know." She handed him the tool she'd been holding. "She's not talking to Sophia, Patrick—her boyfriend—or even Andrea. She hasn't been for two days."

"What's wrong with her?"

"She's a teenager."

He peered at her. "Really?"

"She's lonely," Carol guessed. "Andrea's working late and when she's not working, she's dating Shane. Sophia can't always be there for Iris, and I think it's taking a toll on her. I think she feels like a burden because she handle can't being alone, so she's pulling away."

Daryl didn't say anything.

"It's a horrible feeling," Carol whispered, picking at her nails. "Feeling like the ones you love most are bothered by you."

"Why don't you go talk to her?"

"Andrea wants to be there for her, so I promised I wouldn't." She bent down. "So, did Andrea call you? I forgot to ask." And if Andrea had seen him, she hadn't told Carol. It was a little worrying, but Andrea was under a lot of stress, and with Iris acting out, it wasn't helping. If she said anything so terrible she couldn't tell Carol then one day she would tell her and apologize to those who needed to be apologized to.

"Yeah, it's Andrea," he muttered.

"And?"

"She came to see me, and it wasn't pretty."

She could see he wasn't going into it any further, so she simply asked, "What are you even doing?"

"Nothin' as interestin' as you."

"I do have the better view." She smirked at Daryl, who was bending over.

"Stop."

She laughed a little and ran her eyes over the tools he had laid out and said, "Teach me."

"You sure?"

"I could use some mechanical skills."

"Okay. C'mere." He took her hand and showed her what he was doing, explaining it, and she got the hang of it pretty quickly. He still kept his hand over hers, and he looked at her face, and soon she wasn't focused on what he was saying. Their lips met, and the wrench fell with a loud clang. He cupped her cheek and pulled her closer.

––

"Iris, can you please just talk to me?" Andrea pleaded, her nerves like a fuse.

"What's there to talk about?" She gathered her things for track.

"Anything really."

"I'm fine, Mom. Don't worry." She zipped the bag and shouldered it. "I'll call you when practice is over."

"We're still talking."

"Okay, but...I have to go warm up. You already made me late by not coming on time." This morning Iris had to wake her mom up, and in her trying to not be late, she left her duffel bag on her bed by mistake. To top it off, Mom had been late coming to practice so she was late to warm up and therefore behind the entire team, and she didn't want to let them down anymore. It was bullshit, and she was trying to end this as politely as possible, but Mom was making that difficult.

"I had to work late last night. I'm sorry I slept through my alarm."

"Yeah." She closed the door and headed for the field.

"Iris."

"What?" Iris spun around. "I have to go to track! It's the only thing I like anymore, and you're keeping me from it? What do you want from me? Seriously, _what do you want_? I said I'm fine, and _I am fucking fine_!" She was screaming. "Just let me go to practice me!"

"Iris?" The coach was a few feet away from them. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah." She tucked stray hair behind her ear. "Everything's fine."

"If you want to take—"

"No, I'm good. I'll see you on the field." She sent her mom a glare then jogged away.

Andrea ran a hand through her hair and felt just utterly exhausted.

"Are you okay?" Tara asked her.

"Not really." She gripped the steering wheel.

"Why don't you stay for practice? Unless you have to work."

"I don't think she wants me here." _Did she just say that?_

"So? Come see her. She's really good. Besides, I need someone help with some of the kids. My pep talks can only go so far."

"All right." She turned her car off and ambled down to the field with Tara. She saw Iris a good distance from the rest of the team, and she frowned when she completely ignored Patrick and Carl both. She sat down on the bleachers and wondered what was going on with her.

Tara hoped this worked. She needed Iris to stop being so distance and stubborn. She listened to everything Tara said, and she had shaved a minute off her time, but she did everything with anger. She ignored her teammates, and she was pushing herself too hard. She came close to fainting the other day, and Tara was worried about her. If she told her to stop, Iris might go to somewhere else alone and get hurt. Nobody wanted that, so this was her last resort. They needed it.

After an hour into practice, Sophia and Iris were racing each other, which was normally for fun, but Iris made it into a competition. Tara didn't mind. She often encouraged them to compete with each other, but not like this.

Sophia slowed her pace before stopping, and she gripped her knees, panting. She had wanted to keep up with Iris, but she couldn't. She was exhausted and hot and sweaty. She was glad Iris had improved. That would be great for their meet. She just hoped Iris started to act like they were on the same team again soon. She missed her best friend.

"That was great," Sophia complimented her. "You're on fire today."

Iris didn't say anything.

"Okay." She walked away and sat down by Carl. "Bitch."

"Iris?" Carl asked.

"Yes. She's been acting like a douche all day." She pulled her hair down then back up into a bun.

"Patrick, what's up with your girlfriend?" Carl called to him.

"I don't know that she _is_ my girlfriend," was his reply.

"What do you mean?" Sophia wiped sweat from her brow.

"She hasn't spoken to me in days, she won't return my texts, and she won't let me near her. That's not exactly indecipherable behavior."

"She broke up with you?"

"Not in words."

"What the hell's her problem?" Carl scoffed and stood up. "Hey, what do you think you're doing?"

Iris drank from her stickered water bottle and just looked at him.

"Carl!" Sophia and Patrick shot up.

"That is my best friend, and if you're going to break up to him, at least have the guts to do it to his face."

"How is that any of your business?" She drank more water, her tone icy.

"I just told you he's my best friend, and that's my girlfriend. You're going to stay away from, all right, Iris? At least until you remember what your soul is."

"Hmm? What was that? Sorry, I don't give a shit what you're saying to me, Carl. Oh, and I'm not even sorry about that."

"Iris, Carl!" Tara yelled at them. "Break it up."

"What crawled up your ass and didn't die?" Carl scoffed. "It wouldn't hurt you to be a decent person."

"I may hurt you if you don't get out of my face!" She shoved him back.

"Iris!" Andrea rose off the bleachers and ran over to them.

"I'm not going to hit you, just stay away from them and me."

"Why? Because I'm a girl, or are you afraid I'm going to kick your skinny ass?"

He shook his head and walked away.

Andrea grabbed her daughter by the wrist before she could do or say anything more. She dragged her off the field and toward the car, ignoring Iris's struggles to escape, and once at the car, she all but threw her inside. She drove them home, and Iris kept saying they left her bag behind, but Andrea ignored her.

"Mom!" Iris shouted. "My bag! You left it on the—"

"You can get it tomorrow," Andrea snapped.

Iris fell silent at the harsh tone in her mom's voice, and she sat still until they got home. She silently slipped out of the car and headed inside, jumping when Andrea tossed her purse and keys on the counter, even more fed up with her attitude lately. She was just so done with this, and she was going to get an explanation if it killed her.

"What?" Iris softly asked.

"What is going on?" Andrea locked eyes with her. "You push me away, your friends, Patrick, and now you're trying to get into a fight?! What the hell is going on, Iris?!"

"N—nothing is going on."

"Bullshit nothing is going on! You're going to talk to me, and actually talk to me right now! Are you taking something?"

"What?" Iris exclaimed. "No! I'm not doing drugs!"

"Are you drinking?"

"No! I don't even like the sips of wine you've let me have! Besides where would I even get alcohol?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure you know somebody who can get it."

"I don't! I wouldn't!"

"Then why this sudden change? Is it because I'm working so much lately? Honestly, we need the money, and I'm not sorry that I want you to have food and clothes and a roof over your head! I'm not sorry that I want to be able to afford to take you to the doctor's and dentist's!" Iris's eyes were filling, but Andrea was tired of her acting like this. "If you want company, stop pushing away your friends! I didn't raise you to be cruel or get into fights! Do you know how many times I've had Patrick call me and see if you were all right? And every single time I rush home to make sure you're not dead! You cannot do this, Iris! People depend on you! _I depend on you_!"

"You shouldn't."

"And why not?"

"Because I'm not worth it."

"What are you talking about?"

She tried to shrug, but she ended up sobbing instead. She didn't know what she was doing. She was mad at her mom and at Shane and then at everybody because it was easier to be mad than to talk about it. She got to come home to this big empty house and study. When she tried to invite someone over, they were busy or Mom didn't want her to have anyone over. It just pissed her off, so she just started to isolate herself and save herself the trouble of hearing her so-called friends turn down her offer to come down. She was alone, and she would just have to deal with that by herself. She would be alone one day anyway, so why not now? Who would want her? She was just a self-centered, rude, idiotic bitch.

Andrea held her close, and Iris bawled her eyes out, apologizing. Andrea comforted her and told her it would be fine. It wouldn't be, and Iris needed to talk this out, but for now she needed to know that they were in this together, no matter what.

––

Daryl broke the kiss when he heard kids giggling, and he spotted a handful in the doorway, Carol laughed and covered her face with her hand, and he lunged playfully at them, like he did before they played a game of tag, making them scream and scatter. He smirked and turned to her.

"Sorry about that. They sometimes come to see if I got time to play with 'em."

"It's fine. I need to get back to work anyway." She smiled. "Besides it's not actually appropriate."

"When have I ever been appropriate?"

"True, but I have to speak with Jessie. She's coming by today."

"Didn't mean to keep you."

"It's all right. I enjoyed the distraction." She left him to his work and found Jessie entering the building, greeting her with a smile.

Daryl smiled to himself, getting back to work. He was surprised to feel this way. He hadn't really felt this was way in a long time. He was happy. Truly contented with everything. He was even smiling more, actually smiling, and he had to stop himself, or Maggie would tease him about it. It was a nightmare, but honestly he didn't care. It seemed that whenever he felt like maybe having them know was a mistake, he'd seen Carol talking to Patricia about them and just smiling, and he knew it was worth every silly comment Maggie ever uttered.

They still had to tell Sophia. With all of Iris's mess, Carol thought it was best to put it off. She wanted to make sure Sophia was all right and that Iris was all right as well. They were going to tell her tonight, although she probably already knew. He hoped that meant she wouldn't...squeal. She was very excitable, and he didn't want to lose his hearing for twenty minutes. He hoped it wasn't longer than that. The squeal was why he never surprised her, though it's died down a little each passing year.

After work they met in the parking lot, Maggie called to them and said goodbye but nothing more, and Daryl thought that was strange. She always teased them, and he knew then Carol had spoken to her about it. He was glad, but he didn't know she noticed how uncomfortable that made him. Why was he surprised? She noticed a lot of things that other people didn't, especially when it came to him.

"My sister wants us to have dinner with them," Carol informed him on the drive back to her house.

"You told her, didn't you?"

"No, I was going to, but Sophia was in the room." She rubbed a sore spot on her shoulder. "I think she has news."

"Oh."

"But we can tell her our news."

"I guess."

"You guess? Daryl, she's going to find out one way or another, and it's a lot less painful for me if I tell her now."

He chuckled. "All right. When do we have to have dinner with them?"

"Tonight."

"Tonight?" he exclaimed. "I thought we were going to tell Sophia tonight."

"Then we're taking her to Karen's for dinner." She winced. "I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you, and this thing with Iris got out of hand." They should have told Sophia. It might have put her in a better mood. She's been really sad lately. Iris not being around, even for a few days, has dampened her mood greatly. They're like sisters, and Carol could understand that. Not being to talk to Karen during her relationship was challenging, and then the abuse came and made it so much worse. She had no one to talk to then. She was isolated completely.

Daryl reached over and held her hand, she jumped a little, forgetting where she was, and he gave her a small smile. "It's fine. We can tell 'em both tonight."

She returned his smile. "I don't think we have much of a choice anyway."

– – –

Andrea waited for Iris to get out of the shower, making some tea since they were out of coffee, which made no sense. She usually bought a cup on her way to work, so Iris must have been making coffee and drinking it like water.

But why would she need to? Was she not sleeping again? The last time she had a reason to not sleep well was after Phillip and his gun. There was nothing going on now that would give her cause to not be sleeping. Was she doing it willingly? Why would she do that? She's the same girl who always says her true love is sleep. She was joking, but the girl did like to sleep. Why would she purposely stay awake and chug coffee? She was at work a lot, and she barely got to see Iris when she wasn't at work. Either Shane or track got in the way of them spending time together, and whenever Andrea managed to get home early, Iris was just too exhausted to do anything but eat dinner, or she had passed out on the couch. Was she trying to stay awake to spend time together? Was that it?

Perhaps it was her fault. For the past few months she'd been working day and night trying to save up money for Iris's birthday gift, and Iris has been either here by herself or at Sophia's in that time. She never thought about her working so much hurting Iris. She was just trying to get a little extra money and get Iris a birthday gift she could actually use most of her life. She'd even had Shane go with her to look at cars since he knew more about them than she did. What was the point of giving her a great gift—that would just be taken away from her behavior at this rate—if she was going to lash out at her classmates and isolate herself from her family, friends and boyfriend. What Iris needed now was to talk, and even if she didn't want to, she was going to, even it wasn't related to what happened at practice. They just needed to talk.

Iris dragged herself to her bedroom, not wanting to talk about anything with her mom, and she was amazed to find an empty room. She ran a hand through her hair and exhaled before changing into her nightclothes and lying down on her bed, hugging the lion she had gotten from Carol that had surprisingly made it this long to her chest. She was hungry, but she didn't want to go downstairs and get into a fight with her mom again. She did need to apologize, to both her mom and her friends and Patrick.

"Feel better?" Andrea asked from the doorway.

She glanced up and nodded.

"I brought you some food." She set a plate of mashed potatoes, steamed carrots and a turkey burger down on her desk along with a glass of fruit punch. "Bring your dishes downstairs when you're done."

"Wait." Iris stood up before her mom left and met her eyes, picking at the bracelets on her wrist. "Mom...I'm so sorry. I had no right to speak to you like that, and it's not your fault. I—It's mine, and I'm so sorry."

"Why didn't you talk to me sooner?"

"How could I? You were working, and your job's important, and I didn't want to interrupt that. When you came home, though, you'd bring Shane, and I didn't want to talk about it in front of him. Then it was just easier to not to talk you, because how could I? You were so happy, and I didn't... I didn't want to ruin that."

"Seeing you like this has made me more unhappy than I have ever been, Iris. I'm worried about you, and being with Shane wasn't entirely why I was happy. Knowing that you were happy and—and enjoying school made me happy. I was wrong this entire time, and I should have paid better attention, and for that I am so sorry."

Iris dropped her eyes to the floor. "I...didn't know that."

"Why would you? I've been...acting like such an ass too. I act like you're a child that I have no trust or respect for, and that's not true. I _do_ trust and respect you. It's just...you dating. You being alone with Patrick. I know what me and my friends were like at your age."

"You did drugs and drank?" Those _were_ the first things she accused Iris of doing.

"No."

"Mom."

"Not all of us."

Iris smiled a little. "You don't need to worry about that, okay? And don't worry about me and Patrick." She bit her bottom lip, her nose burning as tears rose up in her eyes. "I'm pretty sure there is no me and Patrick anymore."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that."

"I am. I was a jerk. I ignored him and almost got into a fight with his best friend. He should be with someone better. Or Molly."

"Molly?" Andrea's brows furrowed in thought. "Molly? Why do I know that name? Wait a minute. Is that the same girl who Sophia got into a fight with?"

"Yeah."

"Why do you think Patrick likes her?" She sat down on the bed.

"Well," Iris sat beside her, "it's just little stuff, I guess." She then began to explain why she knew Patrick liked her, or at least would be better off with her, and Andrea hid her smile, glad that for the first time in too long Iris was talking to her about anything important to her.

––

Sophia's reaction wasn't what they had expected. She was a little peeved they'd waited so long to tell her, but when her mom explained, she couldn't be mad. She understood, and then came the reaction they expected. She hugged them both and expressed how happy she was for them, although Daryl got a warning glare. He would probably hear about that later, but Carol was in the room so she would wait until they were alone.

They got ready to go see Karen, and luckily Daryl had brought a decent shirt to work with him, and his pants were the same as always. Carol hadn't told him to change, so it must have been all right. He hoped she didn't disapprove of how he looked.

Sophia was the first one to come back. She had just thrown on a pair of jeans and a nice shirt. "How long have you known about this dinner?" She sat on the arm of the couch.

"A few minutes."

"Really? You picked that outfit out randomly?"

"Yeah."

"Or are you dressing nicer 'cause of my mom?"

"I just throw extra clothes into a bag when I gotta repair stuff at the shelter is all."

"Those pants look new."

"Y'all got 'em for me, remember?"

"Uh-huh."

"Enough about my clothes. How are you? Carol told me about the Iris thing."

She lowered her gaze a bit. "I'm okay, I guess."

"You guess?"

"It sucks. She's being a jerk to everybody, and I don't even know why. I didn't do anything, and I keep trying to remember if maybe I did, but I don't remember if I did or didn't. Even if I did do something, she shouldn't treat us like that."

"Maybe it ain't about you."

"Who's it about?"

"Her."

"What, she's being a jerk on purpose to keep...us away." Her nose scrunched up. "Why would she want us to leave her alone? She hates being alone. She's told me so."

"I don't know Iris, can't pretend to, but I do know about bein' alone." She looked at him, waiting. "Well, sometimes when you isolate yourself, it's really about...hidin'."

"Hiding? What's to hide?"

"If she's pushin' y'all away, maybe it's 'cause there's somethin' else botherin' her that she doesn't want y'all to know."

"Like what? We're best friends. We're supposed to tell each other everything, and there's nothing I wouldn't understand. There's no secret I wouldn't keep. Unless it was hurting her then I'd tell Mom and Andrea."

"Maybe that's why she pulled away. Maybe she got mad 'cause you only noticed it when she was gone."

"Should I talk to her? Or just pretend like it didn't happen?"

"I dunno."

She gaped at him. "You don't know? But you just said—"

"I was just sayin' maybe."

"You are not helpful." She slipped off the couch. "But thank you."

"You're welcome."

Carol joined them. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah."

"Did you put Honey away?"

"No." She made her way back upstairs to get the big lug from her bed.

"Are you ready?" Carol asked Daryl.

"Should I be prepared?"

"Yes. Karen was already testing you at the first dinner. Now she'll be testing your loyalty and planning how to hide your body should you betray me."

"What?"

"I'm kidding. Kind of."

"I thought she liked me."

"I'm sure she still does."

"And if she doesn't?"

"She'll learn to." She smiled encouragingly at him. "I'm going to help Sophia with Honey."

He ran his hands through his hair and sighed deeply. He was better than the last man Carol brought home at least, and Karen knew that. Didn't she?

––

"How are things?" Karen added the chopped tomatoes to the salad.

"They're great." Carol pulled down the dinner guest plates and closed the cabinet door. "Honey's doing well, and Sophia will tell you about school during dinner."

"How are things with Daryl?" She met her sister's eyes, having figured it out the last time they spoke.

"Nice." She turned to get forks and knives.

"Just nice?" She wiped her hands on a dishtowel. "You've been dating for, what, a week and all you're going to tell me is it's nice? You've known the man for years, you'd think "nice" would be—"

"Karen, stop please." She set the silverware on the plates and picked up the plates. "We're taking it slow. My last relationship was a nightmare that ended with him getting his throat torn out by...Bear, and I know Daryl isn't like that, but I need...time to adjust. It's...different and while I want it to be normal and easy, it won't be. I trust Daryl, I do, but...some things just can't be forgotten." She averted her eyes. "I'm going to set the table."

Karen exhaled and picked up the salad. Nice, asshole.

Sophia sat down on the couch with Daryl, setting down her drink and holding Harris in her lap, and Daryl glanced at them then returned to studying his glass like he was searching for floating gunk in it. He was a little uncomfortable for some reason. He'd been around Ty and Karen and Maddie for years, so why did he feel like diving under the couch?

"Breathe," Sophia suggested. "You're turning blue."

"Just a little—"

"—Nervous?" Sophia offered.

"Yeah."

"I'm sure Karen just wants to see how serious you two are. She likes you a lot, so I wouldn't worry." She heard Ty calling to for her help and to hurry, and she scanned the room then just set Harris on Daryl's lap and went to her uncle.

Daryl grabbed the small child before he fell and tried to call Sophia back, but she was already gone. He looked at Harris, and Harris looked back at him with those big brown eyes. He hadn't been around a baby in a long time. This runt was usually passed out when he was with Karen and Ty, and Carol always tried to keep them apart when she babysat for them. He could handle being around a baby. He had lost his daughter, but that didn't mean he saw her in every child's face. Not anymore. She was at peace now, so he was okay with it. Carol helped him to get there, and he was grateful for it. She was an amazing woman, and this kid was cute as hell.

Carol set the plates on the table and looked over, seeing Daryl playing with Harris, and she stared, getting Karen's attention by staring, and they both ended up watching the two of them for about five minutes. It was precious, and Karen had never thought to associate that word with Daryl, but there it was right in front of her. She felt...happy, for Carol and Sophia and Daryl. They were in good hands, and she could tell them the news easier now.

Tyreese brought in their dinner fresh from the grill, and they sat down to eat. Sophia told her aunt about school like Carol had told her she would, and Karen was glad to hear how much she was liking this year. Last year was a nightmare for them, because of one of the teachers had seemed to make it his goal to be as shitty as possible at his job and as a human being. Sophia was really enjoying this year, though Karen heard Iris get mentioned only once, and Sophia looked a little sad when she was mentioned. She hoped they made up. They've been thick as thieves since they met, and she'd hate to see them drift apart over something trivial.

"Oh, there's going to be a play," Sophia told them. "It's in May. It's about the 1920s. We're learning the Charleston and everything! You have to come see it!"

"I'd love to." She glanced at Ty, and he gave a nod. "I would really love to see your play, and I'll try, but..." she trailed off.

"But?" Carol pressed. "But what?"

"We're moving," Ty informed them.

"What?" Sophia exclaimed. "Why?"

"I got a promotion, and it's not something I can turn down. I've been working for this for six years. The pay is a lot better, and they're even going to cover moving expenses."

"There is a great school for Maddie," Karen chimed in. "Plus, my work agreed to transfer me to a company down there." She gazed at her sister. "We already bought a house."

"When do you leave?" Carol asked.

"This week." She looked at her niece. "We wanted to wait until spring break, but they've already done so much for us, so...we agreed that we'd leave this Friday."

"Friday?"

"Yeah, Friday morning."

"Where are you even moving?" Sophia set her fork down. "How do you know it's going to be worth it? I mean...really worth it?"

Ty went into detail about how they knew it would work out, and where they were going, and Sophia sank into her chair, and Maddie tried to cheer her up. She couldn't be mad at them. They'd thought it through, and they seemed really excited for this, so she would be too. She was going to miss them so much, and it sucked, but...sooner or late things blow up and push people into the next part of their lives. This was their blow up, and that couldn't be an easy, painless thing, and it wasn't going to sever their family. They would find time when it counted, and they had so many ways to keep in touch these days so it would be okay, and they would be happy.


	6. How To Break A Heart

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

Sophia took a seat in class and set her binder down, smiling at Carl who sat beside her and propping her feet up on the bar under Patrick's desk, and she crossed her arms, pulling out a pencil to take notes. She saw Iris enter after Lizzie, who took the seat behind Carl, and Iris tried to find a different seat than the one by Patrick, but they were no others.

She set her binder down and slowly sat, hugging herself and trying to turn away from their group, feeling out of place and like she didn't deserve to be that close to them. She prepared for notes and realized she had the wrong binder. She groaned softly and looked for a clean sheet of paper, but they were all full of chemistry notes.

"Here." Sophia held out two sheets of paper.

"Thanks." She smiled and took the paper.

"We have a sub today," Patrick told them, "so our test will be on Monday."

"Are we gonna play Jeopardy?" Lizzie uncapped her pen. "I could use those extra ten points."

"You're just gonna cheat." Carl glanced back at her. "I saw you the last time."

"Saw me what? I wasn't cheating."

"So you were just really into your boobs?"

She nodded and laughed. "Yes."

"What?" Sophia scratched the back of her head.

"I wrote the answers to the multiple choice on my stomach," she whispered. "I forgot to study, and it was a one-time thing. Besides, what's he gonna do? If he would've asked what I was doing, I'd have just say 'Hey, dude, I like my boobs, back off'."

"Oh, my God." Patrick laughed. "Just cheat off me next time."

"Fine, but only because Mika threatened to tell our dad if I cheated again. She caught me washing it off."

The sub entered and began to write the notes on the board for them, they copied what she was writing and had hushed conversations, or passed notes when she wasn't looking.

"So, what are we doing at track?" Carl asked Iris, poking her with the end of his pen to get her attention. "I'd say get into a fight, but damn, we did that last time."

She peered back at them, and they were looking at her, waiting, and she just told them then returned to taking notes.

"Why so quiet?"

She looked at Patrick. "Just taking notes."

"You always talk then copy my notes in the parking lot before practice."

"I—I'm sorry. I'm confused. What's going on? Aren't you mad at me?"

"No."

"Why not?" She searched his eyes.

"Because I get it, and I've had bad weeks too." He reached over and took her her hand. "You can always talk to me, Iris, no matter what it's about or what time it is."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously," Sophia answered. "Besides once you're our friend, you're stuck with us losers."

"We're also all on track, and if we can have any hope of beating _any_ teams, we need to have each others backs," Carl added. "You're our best long distance runner."

"So you're just using me for track?" she teased.

"And the pizza parties your mom throws." Lizzie nodded.

She laughed, the sub got on them and they all returned to taking notes. Iris noticed then Patrick still was holding her hand. She had felt her nerves gnawing at each other this morning, and now she felt like everything was back to normal. Thank God. She didn't want or need any surprises, and she was done being one, so she hoped this lasted.

– – –

Loading the last box in the truck, Daryl pulled the door down and latched it, looking back as Karen and Carol lingered in the doorway. He wiped his brow, and Sophia brought him the last bottle of cold water, having given Tyreese the other. He thanked her, and she went to her cousin to say goodbye.

"It's just a house." Karen had been upset and teary-eyed all day. It was worse now. "It's where I brought my babies home though, and...it's where I got you back."

"You have me back," Carol reminded. "As for your babies...well, they'll be home as long as you're all together."

She sniffed. "Yeah, I just didn't think it'd be this hard."

She hugged her. "You'll make new memories in the new house, and you'll forget about this old one." She guided her toward the car, arm around her. "And we'll be in touch every week, so you're not losing anything."

"I know." She calmed herself. "And you have Daryl. He'll keep both of you safe—not that you need it, you can take care of yourself—but all the same, knowing he's with you...that makes this a little easier."

"I love you, Karen, and we'll talk tonight." She smiled and hugged her again.

The girls were saying goodbye, and Daryl and Tyreese were talking as they rigged the trunk of their car shut since they were too many boxes piled up back there and no more room in the truck. Carol and Sophia gave Harris a goodbye kiss on the cheek as he was fast asleep in the car. That kid could sleep through literally anything, which wasn't always a good thing.

Sophia hugged her uncle and wished him the best of luck and did the same to her aunt, only Karen didn't let her go easily, and Carol embraced her brother-in-law and told him she knew he would do great, she loved him and to have a safe drive.

"All right." Karen marched over to Daryl. "You'd better take care of my sister and niece. If you don't, I will hunt you down and leave you tied upside down and leave you handing nude in the woods, okay?"

He tried not to laugh in her face and nodded. "Won't happen."

"It'd better not. I'm stronger than I look."

"Karen, I won't hurt either of 'em. They're...my family, and I'll keep them safe," he promised. "It's late, y'all better get goin'."

They loaded in the cars, one final goodbye was spoken and they drove off. They waved until the cars fell out of sight then Carol wrapped her arms around her daughter's shoulders and kissed the back of her head, knowing she was in tears, and Daryl set a hand on Carol's lower back and Sophia's arm. Sophia was going to miss the heck out of them, but the tears in her eyes were happy. Part of her family had left, yes, but Daryl had confirmed that she now had a whole family for the first time in her life. She couldn't stop smiling and crying, feeling her mom and Daryl at her back and side.

– – –

"So, you're just going to the movies?" Iris asked, trying on her mom's pearl necklace that Grandma had given her for her birthday.

"The theater," Andrea corrected.

"Sorry, my mistake." She looked over the many earrings her mom had and held a set of diamond earrings to her ears. "Why are you going?"

"Because I was invited by my boss." She held her hand out, and Iris dropped the earring in her palm. "You can come, if you'd like."

"No, thank you. I don't know if I snore, but I don't want your boss to find out." She swung her leg over the bench and set her hands on her knees. "Do you even like the theater?"

"Never been." She put the earrings in. "Why are you asking?"

"Just curious." She tapped her knuckles on the bench under her and bit her bottom lip then met her mom's eyes. "So, could I ask Patrick over? His parents have some business trip thing that they've extended another week, and I think he's lonely. He keeps texting me, and I thought it'd be nice to have him over for dinner."

"His parents are on a business trip?"

"Yeah, some merger thing. I don't really know." She shrugged. "But could he?"

"When will they be back?"

"Monday." She stood up. "You're avoiding the question."

"No, I'm just wondering why you didn't tell me this when you went over to his house yesterday."

"I did tell you! I texted you _twice_ ," she help up two fingers to make a point, "to tell you that we'd be there alone!"

She smiled. "I know you did. I'm honestly surprised you told me."

"I tell you everything. Recently anyway." She crossed her arms. "Besides his Aunt Anna comes over to check on him all the time. She doesn't even knock. She walked in on me half dressed."

"What?"

"He has a pool," she explained. "I was changing into my swimsuit. It was hot as heck yesterday."

"Oh, right."

"He didn't even come in with me. He's so stressed out over this stupid scholarship essay. That's why I want to invite him over here—no laptop, no document, no checking for errors over and over. We could have some actual fun."

"Then yes, you can have him over then."

"Thanks." She smiled and dug her phone out of her shorts, sitting on her mom's bed and texting him. "Are you coming home or going to Shane's?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure if he's even coming with me. Why do you want to know?" She didn't trust this question.

"Because I don't want a surprise brother or sister in nine months." She sent it and lifted her head. "I'd like a pet instead, please. Preferably something really fuzzy and so adorable, but not super small. I don't want to accidentally step on it."

"No pets." She smirked. "You let your game pet die."

"It didn't die! It just...ran away."

"It died." She then met her daughter's eyes. "That won't happen."

"You never know. Accidents happen. That's how Carl's little sister came to be."

"Well, I can't...have kids."

"Since when?"

"Since seventeen years ago. I had a hysterectomy."

"Why?"

"Because you were a handful, and...I didn't have much of a choice." She shrugged.

"But you're okay with it?" She met her mom's eyes.

"Yeah. I am. It worked out, and I have you so I am okay with it."

She stood up and hugged her. "And you're the best mom anyone could want."

Andrea swallowed hard and smiled. "I love you too."

– – –

"So, movie and popcorn or popcorn and two player games?" She held up a game and a movie for Patrick to choose from.

"I don't care which." He shrugged, pushing up his glasses.

"What do you mean, you don't care which? You hate this game, for one." She tossed them onto the worn armchair in the corner of her room that used to be in the living room before they got a new one and sat on the bed by him. "And for two, you care about everything." She searched his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing you want to hear about."

"Patrick, I'll listen to anything you say, okay? I...kinda owe you for being such an ass, and I will want to apol—"

"You have," he politely interrupted her. "Fifteen times."

"It doesn't seem sufficient." She crossed her legs and grasped his hand. "Tell me what's on your mind, if you want."

"My parents are considering moving," he confessed, just saying it outright, not wanting to keep it hidden anymore. "They're staying in Arizona to look at houses, not business."

She just looked at him, the news slowly sinking in, and so softly she managed, "What?"

"They want me to finish out the rest of this semester in Arizona, and they're going to let me know if we're moving by the end of this week. I know they're going to say yes, and they're just waiting for me to come around to the idea of moving and...leaving you and all of our friends."

"Arizona?"

"Yeah, my grandparents live there. They were on business at first then visiting my grandparents who kept dropping hints about wanting to see me more before I graduate, and then my grandmother took my dad out and showed him the type of houses he loved, like really loved. He and Mom wanted a change of scenery. I just thought they'd wait until I was in college."

"How long would it take for you to move?"

"A few weeks."

"A few weeks." Her sounded breathless. "You can't even go to your senior prom with classmates you know, or...with me." She shook her head. "That's not the point. You've gone to school with these people for years, and it's not fair for them to force you to make new friends in four months! That's bullshit! You can't just—you have to fight this! You're the class president and—and you're in DECA and all that crap. You can't just leave!"

"I know, but they're my parents, and I don't want to disrespect their wishes."

"You're going to college to be a teacher, and they want you to be a doctor or follow their business career. I don't know what the hell they do, but I remember you stayed in my tree house for a week after you told them you wanted to be a teacher! They were so angry with you and disappointed. Wh—?"

He interrupted her by kissing her, and she pulled back but didn't speak. "Look, I need you to listen to me, all right?" She didn't speak, so he just kept going. "That wasn't a tree house; that was a stack of cardboard boxes we made into a fort. And this is different."

"How?"

"Because I don't have a choice, and the college I want to attend is...in California."

She released his hand and stood up. "California?"

"And I don't know that I want to be a teacher. I've been thinking about it lately, and...I think I may want—"

"Please, stop talking for a second." She faced him. "You're moving to Arizona and are going to attend a California college? You don't want to be a teacher? I'm sorry, but who the hell are you?"

"Iris—"

"No, seriously, Patrick. Why didn't you tell me any of this? And don't say because of my behavior, because I can tell you've known about this for a long time!"

"I didn't know how to."

"Have you even tried?"

"Once."

"And how long have you known?"

"Since Christmas."

"Since—oh, my God." She ran her hands through her bangs. "Patrick, you should have been trying to tell me about this every day for three weeks. I thought...we had plans, and I thought I had months before I had to say goodbye, and even then it wasn't like you were moving a million miles away! God, how could you keep this to yourself?"

"I'm sorry."

"Why repair our relationship if you're going to leave?" she demanded. "I could have been fine by myself, damn it! Why did you do this? To hurt me? As revenge for what I did?"

"No." He slipped off the bed. "I just wanted to be with you."

"I need to get some air."

"Iris, wait." He grabbed her wrist, and she stayed put to hear him out. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I was scared. I'm still scared to be honest, and I need you. I know you're pissed, but please don't storm out of here. I don't want to waste our time fighting each other, so please don't go."

A beat.

She pulled her arm free and said, "I won't storm out of here, it's my house. I'd just throw your ass onto the lawn."

He smiled. "I don't doubt it."

She crossed her arms and met his eyes. "Fuck the game, let's just talk about this."

"I hate that game anyway."

"I know." She smiled a little and sat down on her bed beside him. "Is there anything else I should know?"

He took a seat and began to tell her all that his parents had told him, and she listened silently, her comments filling her head, but he didn't need to hear them. She was sad and pissed, but it was his life. She wouldn't hold him back, or let him know just how much it hurt. He was really the only person in her entire life that ever made complete sense to her. Mom was a confusing mess during her marriage to Phillip, Penny was an asshat mystery that didn't write or call, and even Sophia and Carol have given her pause. Not him, though, and it sucked that he was leaving. She had plans for their prom night. It was going to be awesome and alcohol-free and possibly dangerous since it would be dark in the woods, but whatever. It didn't matter. It wouldn't happen. It was just another dream.

– – –

Sophia was lying on her bed, her feet propped up on the frame, one of Harry's toys that was left behind on her chest, and she exhaled slowly, her homework in a pile beside her, untouched. She could hear Carl and Lizzie downstairs making sandwiches with Mom. They were all going to study for their anatomy quiz, and Iris and Patrick were going to join them later. They wanted to just be alone and talk first though. It made sense.

"We bring sandwiches." Lizzie plopped down on the bed beside her. "And drink."

"Okay." She rolled onto her stomach. "Can we just pretend that we studied?"

"Okay, but we can't pretend that we didn't fail," Carl replied.

"Fine, I'm in studying mode." She sat up. "All right, I know the vocab, but I have no clue about the questions."

"Patrick can help you with that. He knows everything about this quiz." He sat on the floor and propped the book open on his legs. "Maybe I should just quit school, work at a fast food place until he makes big bucks then mooch off him."

"That's my plan," Lizzie dug out her highlighter. "Iris beat me to him, so I'll just guilt trip him. He's a big softie."

"You two are horrible." Sophia flipped through her notes and found the ones she needed for the test.

"I'm kidding! I want to be a cop, like my dad."

"I have no clue what I want to be," Lizzie admitted. "All I'm good at is sleeping. And eating."

"You'd make a great teacher," Sophia said. "You're patient and kind and weird enough that they'd think you're cool. Or possibly crazy."

"Because I want to get out of school just to go back."

"It was just a suggestion."

"What do you want to be?" She took a bite of her sandwich.

"A social worker."

"Great, so everybody knows what they want to be but me." She moved hair out of her face. "I'm going to be that kid who lives in her parents' basement."

"Iris doesn't know what she wants to do," Carl said to try and cheer her up.

"She'll probably marry Patrick and a housewife."

"Oh, don't tell her you ever said that," Sophia warned. "She will kick your ass."

"She could kick your ass too." Carl sifted through the pages of his book. "I'd have to bet money against you, Liz."

"Assholes." She finished half of her sandwich.

"Besides I think Iris does know what she wants to be," Sophia informed them. "She has a plan."

"Plans don't usually work out though." Carl met her eyes. "I'm sure Iris can do whatever she puts her mind to, but her plans never work out. She's crazy impulsive and rarely sticks to anything. She's only on the track team because of the four of us."

"That's not true. She loves track. She wanted to join long before she found out Patrick was on the team."

"Do you even know Iris?" Lizzie asked Carl.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to—"

"Let's just get to work and not bring up anybody," Lizzie interrupted him.

"Great." Sophia pulled out index cards from her purse. "I'll make note cards."

"I'll highlight the important stuff." She looked at Carl. "You can get the chapter questions. We'll figure out which ones will be used as bonus questions later."

They worked quietly, Carl texted Patrick to ask him to hurry up and get over here, and Sophia wondered how many more times they'd all be in her room studying and goofing off. Patrick was graduating this year, and next year they would be. It was sad and totally sucked Patrick was leaving them so soon, and she felt bad for Iris. She'd be there for her when he left for college, like she'd always be there.

––

At six, Lizzie headed home and Carol got ready for a date while the four of them made popcorn and found a movie to watch. They were all sick of studying, and their brains needed a break, so if they all failed the chapter test tomorrow, they had the vocab test down, so they'd pass that easy. Honestly, Sophia and Iris were only passing because of the vocab tests and all the hands-on crap.

"So, what's your mom up to tonight?" Iris asked, waiting for the popcorn.

"Daryl's taking her out." Sophia was smiling. "It's their third date, so I doubt Mom's gonna be coming home tonight. They have a lot to talk about so are you gonna sleep over and keep me company?"

"Can't. Mom wants me home tonight. Shane's taking us out to do something at eight." He couldn't make it to the theater so he was making it up to the both of them. She just hoped there was hot fudge sundaes involved. She needed fifty after today. "Sorry."

"I have Honey."

"Where is Honey? I haven't seen her all day."

"She's been with my mom all day for some reason, but she's with the boys now."

"Speaking of the boys, why does Carl keep looking at me like he needs to apologize?"

"Has he?"

"Yeah."

"I haven't noticed. You should talk to him about it."

"I would like to, but...I can't."

"Why not? He's your friend too."

"I know, but after the shit I said to him at track... I still don't feel like everything's okay. You guys can say it is, but it doesn't feel like it. I doubt apologizing will help. I don't know what will."

"Try apologizing if you want. It might make you feel better." Sophia pulled the bag out once the microwave beeped. "Hey, what's going on with you and Patrick?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've been attached to him all night. Is something wrong?"

"No. I just...don't want him to think I don't care about him anymore. I do. I love him. I just want to make sure he knows." She cleared her throat. "All right, let's go watch this movie. I need horror to clear my head."

"I thought we were watching something funny."

"You can laugh at the lame parts."

They joined their boyfriends in the living room, Honey curled up by their feet, begging for popcorn, and Carol said goodbye before leaving to have dinner with Daryl. Iris curled up against the arm of the couch, and Patrick shifted beside her. She wondered how many more times they'd get to do this. Just chill and watch a movie with friends. Not very many.

– – –

They met for dinner somewhere new to both of them, and it wasn't that bad of a dinner. The food was all right, the service was decent, and it was a nice night. They were both dressed well so they went for a walk down the path at Daryl's house after Carol called to make sure Sophia and the others were all right, and they were. They were watching one more movie before they had to leave, and Carol promised she'd be come soon. Hmm. It was such a nice evening.

"How have you been?" Daryl finally asked. "Sine Karen left and all, I mean."

"Okay, I guess." She shrugged a shoulder. "I miss her. I tried to drop by and see if she wanted to have lunch today, but I remember before I made the drive. I would have scared the hell out of whoever is living there now."

He smiled a little. "You call her yet?"

"No. I want to let her get settled in first. I'll call her on Monday. She may call me before then though."

He nodded. "How's Sophia been?"

"She's hates that they're gone. She has one of Harry's toys that was tossed under the couch in her room, and she keeps talking about texting Maddie. I don't think she has yet." She laced her fingers through his. "I'm just glad we made up at all, and that we had the past five years to reconnect. I'll miss having wine with Karen and Andrea, but I still have Andrea and now I have you." She smiled at him.

"Speakin' of Andrea, she talk to you since Iris yelled at you?"

"Not much. I know she feels bad about what happened. Both of them do." She turned her eyes to the woods. "Iris could barely look at me when she and Patrick came over to study, and when we were alone in the hall, she apologized and apologized and apologized then ran away before I could say anything."

"Oh?"

"I know she didn't mean any of what she said, and I know she was just hurting, but I wish she'd talk to me and not apologize endlessly to me."

"Maybe she will talk to you," Daryl told her. "Maybe she's just not sure what to say."

"Maybe." She stepped closer to him. "How's the car coming? The one that I got when Ed...died."

"Good. I'm just about done."

"That's great. With her birthday coming up, I don't want...anything to happen. I know she'll be excited about this. She's been talking about getting a car for a while now, and she never knew Ed left me that one. She'll be really surprised."

"You'll have to let me know."

She stopped walking. "You aren't coming?"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"My brother." He met her eyes. "Merle's comin' back that mornin', and...I made plans with him."

"You can't stop by?"

"I would if I could, but... Carol, it's been eleven years since I've seen him last, and I don't want him to feel like he means less to me. He's all I had, and I wish I could see Sophia on her birthday, but I made a promise before I realized what that date was. I don't wanna back out on him. I'm sorry."

She was frowning, but she understood. "It's fine. It's not...like she's your daughter anyway. I'll let you know how she reacts."

Now he was frowning. "Carol—"

"No, I get it. He's blood, and it's important that you spend time with him. You've been to five of her birthdays, so it won't matter if you miss just one." She reached over and laced her fingers through his other hand. "You haven't seen him for so long, and the last time... She'll understand. I'll make her understand." She leaned up and kissed him.

When she pulled back, he reached out and grasped her chin and kissed her again. Slowly. Softly. His hand moved from her chin to the back of her neck to pull her closer, and she set her hands on his hips, leaning into him. He broke the kiss, both of them breathing hard, and he rubbed his thumb across the back of her neck gently. "C'mon, let's get inside."

His house was completely dark, as they hadn't been inside to turn on any lights, but Carol had gotten used to the layout of his place over the years, so neither of them minded. All they needed to find was each other, and Daryl had his hands firmly place on her hips, and her hands were on his upper arms. Their lips met, and his hands slid around to the small of her back, bringing her body closer to his.

Daryl's hand shifted on the small of her back, causing her blouse to slid upward, air brushing the exposed skin, and Carol's breath caught in her throat. And all of a sudden she felt like the world was closing in, and her mind was screaming—begging—crying for him to _stop touching her_. She didn't know why. She just felt panic flood her lungs, her entire body locking up, and she pushed on his arms.

"Daryl—Daryl, stop, please!" She pushed him away and stumbled back against the wall, a hand on her stomach, her body shaking as though it were in the past with a different man.

"Carol—"

"I—I'm sorry."

He turned the light on in the living room and held his hands out in front of him, seeing she was scared, her body trapped in a memory of another man, and he didn't move any closer just yet. "It's all right. You don't needa be sorry."

She met his eyes. "I am sorry. I thought... I thought I was ready, but clearly...I'm not. It's only been five years."

"Yeah, it's only been five years, but it's barely been two weeks since we've been datin'. I get it, and it's okay that you're not ready. I didn't mean to push."

"You weren't pushing. I just...freaked out." She exhaled deeply and placed her hands on her cheeks.

He frowned and asked, "Are you not ready...or are you scared?" She met his eyes. "There _is_ a difference, Carol."

There was a long silence, and she didn't know how to answer him. He didn't want to make it anymore awkward with words, so he just wrapped his arms around her and held her for a moment. He didn't want her to be alone tonight, and Sophia probably had Iris to keep her company, so he asked if she wanted to stay over. It was late, and they both had things to do in the morning, and he wanted her to stay over. If she didn't want to, he would drive her home. He just wanted to make sure she was okay.

In the end, they were in his bed, and he held her until she fell asleep. He tried to sleep, but he couldn't. He was worried about her. Her reaction and the words she'd used to describe it worried him. If she wasn't ready for this, he didn't want her to think she needed to do this right away. Honestly, he would wait until she was ready. He would wait any amount of time for her. He didn't want her to just be ready; he wanted her to feel safe and genuinely happy. He wanted her to want it. If she needed time, he would gladly give it to her. He just hoped she didn't bottle this up or try to force her way past it for his sake. He didn't want that at all. They would need to talk about this. Sophia had to stay late for school and Carl was taking her home, so maybe then.

At one in the morning, he rolled onto his back, Carol was curled up beside him, sleeping deeply unlike him. He needed to get some water, maybe splash some on his face, then he could try to get some sleep. He sat up and ran his hands down his face, hearing his phone buzzing on the nightstand. He reached over and grabbed it, seeing an unknown number. It could be Merle. It was the last time. Asshole didn't know to call at a decent hour. Shit.

He answered it. "Hello?"

There was a pause where the person on the other line said nothing, but he could hear them breathing. This wasn't Merle.

"Hello?"

"Is this Daryl Dixon?" It was a woman's voice, one he had never heard before. She sounded young and nervous.

"Yeah, it is. Who's this?"

"I'm sorry to call you at such a late hour, Mr. Dixon. Um, first I want you know _this is no joke_. I am being _absolutely serious."_

"All right." He frowned and held his breath, wondering what the hell was going on.

"Now, Mr. Dixon, I would to inform you that your daughter, Ella Grace Dixon, is very much alive."

Before anymore words could be uttered, the phone slipped through Daryl's hand and onto the floor.


	7. The Other Side

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

Carol jolted at the sound of something clanging to the floor, and she looked over her shoulder at Daryl. He was tense and didn't appear to be breathing, so she sat up and set a hand on his shoulder, calling his name softly, but he didn't seem to hear it. She frowned and shook him gently, but he was staring off into space, those four words repeating in his mind.

His breathing came out harsh and fast, his entire body moving in slow motion as he curled into a ball, falling to the floor. He felt like he had been thrown into the iciest water. He knew there was air in his lungs, but it felt compact, and his breaths came out as wheezy whimpers. Alive? _Your_ daughter is alive. Your _daughter_ is alive. _Your daughter is_ _alive_. _Alive._

His entire body began to shake and he cupped his hands behind the back of his neck, his mind unable to process those words. It was like that day he saw the cops outside his place when she was hit by the car, and the world just stopped existing. He could feel the bottles up screams raising in his throat, but they couldn't escape, as if a hand were placed over his mouth, and he began to choke on sobs, pulling himself in tighter, squeezing his eyes shut.

Hot tears ran down his cheeks, but he couldn't feel their warmth. He didn't understand. He couldn't understand. All this time, all these years... How could this be happening? He had finally adjusted. He had finally made peace with his actions, with his daughter being dead, and now this. He couldn't handle this. If it were a lie, he couldn't handle this. Who would do this? Why would anybody do this? It wasn't even a joke. There was nothing to laugh about. No, Jesus Christ, no, please no.

Carol was beside him on the floor as strangled, dry whimpers escaped his lips, his tears seemingly endless, and she wrapped her arms around him, holding him the only way she could as he rocked himself, trembling. She smoothed his hair back and rested her forehead on the back of his neck, oh so gently hushing him. She didn't care what had happened in that moment; she just wanted him to be all right. _God, please, just let him breathe._

She felt tears burn in her eyes, and she kissed the back of his neck, his rocking only getting worse as he tried to soothe himself. It wasn't working. The unbearable wave after wave of stifled screams rolled and swirled around and around in his chest, and he felt like he was going to pass out. His mouth was so dry and his tongue felt as though it was swollen. He couldn't do this. He couldn't do this. _Fuck. Shit_. He couldn't do this. He just couldn't fucking do this! _Please. Jesus. Fuck._

His lips parted as short, pained gasps escaped, his teeth clenched, and he cried.

– – –

 _Alyssa waited outside the room of the recovering Ella Dixon, her small body fighting one hell of a fight, and she smiled as she peered inside. She was so lucky. God had to have been watching over this little angel. She would have to go through physical therapy but the damage wasn't that extensive. They managed to stop the bleeding as well. She was stable and doing awesome. Lucky little girl. Her guardian angel had been all over that car accident._

 _She tried calling Daryl again. This would make her twentieth call to him in the last hour. She was frustrated as hell that he wasn't picking up. He was just here two days ago and now he's the impossible-to-contact man. She knew he was a good father, but he wasn't proving it to anybody right now. She was worried enough to go and see if he was alive, because only death could keep him away from his daughter. Unless that changed when she wasn't looking._

 _With one final glance at the healing baby girl, Alyssa headed out to speak to Daryl. She drove out to his house and knocked on the front door. His car wasn't there, and he didn't open the door. She walked around to the back of the house, calling to him both with her voice and her phone again, but nothing. There no lights inside and it appeared to have not been touched since the day of the accident. She didn't hear a phone ringing inside. Where the hell did he go? He wouldn't just up and abandon her. He would literally have to be chained up and tossed into the middle of the ocean after all of his fingers and toes and teeth were removed. What the hell was going on?_

 _She returned to her car and called her friend down at the police station to try and get Merle Dixon's phone number. She needed to find one of them. This little girl didn't survive this accident just to be abandoned like a puppy in a box. If he didn't show up within the week, she was going to kill him when he did decide to show his face. She shoved her phone back into her pocket and got in her car. Damn Dixons. Whatever happened next was entirely his fault._

––

 _Daryl stared out at the water, his legs pulled into his chest, his eyes empty, and his bangs were sticking to the sweat on his brow, although he barely noticed the suffocating heat around him. He had been at this lake since he left the hospital. The bottles of hard liquor were stacked beside him, his only meals these past few days, and his cell phone was at the bottom of the lake with the fish._

 _He didn't want to deal with the world. He couldn't. It was a cruel joke. It truly was. He escaped his father's wrath only to suffer because of his need to change to be a better father. He wanted to make his daughter proud, to do right by her and to change to be the best damn father he could be. He wasn't. He failed. He was just...worthless. He should be dead right now. He knew Merle would raise her right. It should have been him. He should have been hit by that car. But that would have been too easy._

 _He knocked his head on the trunk of the tree behind him, looking up at the sunlight through the branches, and he wondered when this numbness would leave. He couldn't feel a damn thing. It was like he had a blanket wrapped so tightly around him that the sorrow—the agony—he should be feeling was unable to shred through it. The worst feeling in the world goddamn world was this. Nothing. It settled in his lungs and choked him, but it wasn't a squeezing pain. It was just...this incredible pressure that weighed down on his chest and his body. He felt like he was dead. Shit, he was a living dead man._

– – –

 _Alyssa had tried to get into contact with Daryl, but it was no use. She had waited longer than enough, and it was time. Ella had been abandoned at the hospital, and she was now a ward of the state. Alyssa would take care of her and help her through the rough patch. She would have a lot to take in and a lot of denial and pain that Alyssa would help her work through. She was ready to do whatever she could to help her. She was happy too. That little angel deserved the best of everything, and she would get it. Alyssa would make sure._

 _However, there was nothing to work with. When Ella was conscious and able to speak, Alyssa learned she had no memory. She didn't know why she was in the hospital. She didn't know what her name was, when her birthday was, or who her parents were. Her mind was a blank slate. Alyssa spoke to the doctors about it, and while they said it may be temporary, she should prepare for it to be permanent. They would have told Daryl to ease her back into her old habits to see if that would spark a memory that would eventually lead to all of her memories returning, but Daryl was no longer the guardian of Ella. Alyssa had made sure that asshole wouldn't be allowed near her again. He made her sick to her stomach, and she was surprised. She thought only that old bitch could make her stomach twist like that. To think she was right this whole time._

" _Hey, honey." Alyssa smiled at Ella, who didn't respond to her name, so they gave her a nickname. She'd picked it out herself, and she really liked it. Alyssa couldn't call her by that name, just so used to Ella that she had to call her sweetie or honey or angel. "How are you feeling?"_

 _She was coloring again. She was always coloring. "I'm tired."_

" _It's the new medication," Alyssa told her._

 _She looked at her. "Can I ask you a question?"_

" _Sure. Anything."_

" _Are you my mom?"_

" _Oh, honey, no." Her little face fell. "I'm not your mom, but she'll be here soon."_

 _A light appeared in her eyes. "Really?"_

" _Really really. She's been trying to get her, but...the world is against her. She'll be her soon. I promise, and you know I don't lie." She smiled. "I just wanted to come by and tell you that you can run and jump around very soon."_

" _Can I leave soon?" She didn't know if she had a bedroom, but she wanted to see what it looked like. She wanted to see pictures of herself on the walls and hold any stuffed animals on her bed. She wanted to see her home and her parents. She wanted to just...know anything._

" _Yes, but...not before your birthday. Don't worry though. I know a certain someone who will bake you a yummy cake, and I'm the best gift giver. You'll love it."_

" _Will my parents come?"_

 _She just smiled and moved hair from her face. "You should get some rest. You look beat, and these will be here when you wake up."_

 _She sighed. "Okay."_

 _She kissed her forehead and left the room, seeing the sadness in those big blue eyes, and her heart broke. She needed to find a foster home or someone willing to adopt soon. She had one person in mind, but she wasn't sure if she wanted a soon to be six-year-old. The girl's grandmother was not fit to raise her, or even a cat. That rude bitch just needed to back off. Alyssa wouldn't let her near the child, let alone go home with her, so that left only one real option._

 _For her birthday, Ella might meet her mom. God, she hoped so._

– – –

" _I've been trying to call you for weeks. Where the hell have you been?"_

" _On vacation with my family. We went on a cruse. I told you to e-mail me."_

" _I did. Various times a day for almost two weeks." She huffed. "All right, I have news for you."_

" _You do?" Her breath caught. "Good news?"_

" _Yes. There is a child that you can adopted right now."_

" _Oh my, God."_

" _Yeah. She's beautiful. She has long brown hair that's a little curly, baby blue eyes and a smile that...warms up a room."_

" _Long brown hair?" She sifted through her cleaning supplies to find something to clean the gunk off her counter top. "We aren't talking about the same thing, are we?"_

" _She's six." Alyssa winced when she was quiet. "She was abandoned by her guardian."_

" _Oh no. Why?"_

" _She was in an accident. The driver was an asshole who wasn't paying attention to the road and who was speeding, and her babysitter was neglectful so she was unsupervised. She ran into the road after her pet and couldn't get out of the way in time. She was so, so lucky though. Seriously, this little girl had to have been blessed to make it out as well as she did."_

" _What do you mean?" she asked, wiping down the counters with the phone cradled to her ear by her shoulder._

" _She'll be able to walk and run soon, and she only broke her arm. They thought she might lose her liver, but nope. She's...an angel. Truly, she is." Alyssa knew she was gushing, but it would be a perfect fit. A perfect fit. "The accident left her with no memories, but she can read and write as well as anybody her age. Her nurse Lilly has been helping her with that. She's very smart and very much needs a home and loving mother. I know you can do this. I know you can raise her."_

" _Alyssa, I don't mean to look a gift horse in the mouth, but...I wanted a baby, not a damaged six-year-old. How do I know that she won't...have problems as she grows up? Or get her memories back and despise me?"_

" _Just—just meet her. One day is all I'm asking. An hour, please. She deserves a good home, and I know you can provide that. I don't want her to know the truth about her parents. This worked out the way it was supposed to. She won't remember her parents just abandoned her, and she worry they'll come for her one day, because to her, you will have always been her family."_

 _She sighed. "What time?"_

" _Noon. It's her birthday, so bring a gift. She doesn't have any likes or dislikes that she can remember so just bring anything."_

" _All right. I'll see you at noon." She hung up and looked at her house. She always wanted a child. She knew she wouldn't be able to have one of her own, so she had filled out the adoption papers as soon as possible in hopes that she wouldn't have to wait forever. This child needed a home, needed a mother, and she could provide both of those things. This might be her only chance, and for all she knew, she would grow to love this child unconditionally. She had to meet her._

 _So at noon the next day, she met Alyssa outside the girl's room with a gift bag filled with toys and some candies and coloring books with about a million jell pens for them and few other little things. She was used to buying gifts for kids. A lot of her work friends have kids._

" _She's playing a game with her nurse, Lilly, but we can go in now."_

" _Wait." She felt nervous. "I just need a moment."_

" _You okay?" Alyssa noticed how pale she was._

" _Not really." She swallowed and rubbed her palms together. "It's just... I could potentially be meeting my child, and...I'm not...prepared for this."_

" _You'll be fine. And who knows, maybe you won't be compatible."_

" _Right. You're right. I need to just take a breath." She inhaled deeply and tried to exhale the stress, but it didn't leave. She'd been dreaming about this moment for years. She thought she'd been holding a precious bundle, but life didn't always work out the way you think. This could be the day her life changed forever. Not just her life, that little girl's life too. She wanted to make a good first impression. It would be lasting._

" _Just take your time." Alyssa smiled at her friend's reaction, happy to see how seriously she was taking this, and she hoped this worked out. This kid needed a good home, and Andrea could provide that. They were perfect for each other; a mother without a child and a child without a mother. She had to make this work, and not just for that little girl but for her dear friend too._

" _All right. I'm ready. Let's go in."_

 _Alyssa smiled at her to give her some confidence then they walked into the room together, Lilly lifted her head and said a brief goodbye to her favorite patient and excused herself. Alyssa closed the door behind Lilly and took a seat in the far corner, observing silently. She didn't want to introduce them. She wanted them to do that themselves, see how her friend chose to do it and how Ella responded._

 _Ella looked over the woman and smiled a little, looking at Alyssa for any hint that this woman was her mother, but she gave none, her attention on the view outside the window. Her eyes fell to the white bag with silver glitter dots all over it, and she shifted on the bed, not wanting to immediately ask if that was for her so she patted the space by her._

 _Taking the spot, she adjusted her grip on the strings to the gift bag, and she looked at the little girl. Her dark brown hair was loosely, loosely braided with strands down by her beautiful blue eyes, and she had slightly pale skin from being in the hospital, but she was beautiful. She even had curls that were similar to hers. She may outgrow them._

" _How are you?" the young girl asked._

" _I'm better now." She turned on the bed to face her more. "How are you, birthday girl?"_

 _She beamed. "I'm pretty good."_

" _Well, I'm glad. I brought you some gifts. I hope you like them." She set it on the bed and pulled out the coloring books and jell pens, and her face lit up. "I bought a pen case for you to keep them in. I hope you like outer space, because it was either this or some hideous red and yellow mess."_

 _Ella laughed at the expression the woman made. "I do."_

 _She pulled out a baggie of caramel, and milk and white chocolate candies. "These always make me feel better. I love white chocoloate."_

" _I don't remember if I do," she confessed. "I've only had pudding and Jell-O."_

" _Try one."_

 _She reached into the bag and pulled out a gold and white wrapper. Removing it, she found a white chocolate ball, so she bit into it and it was so yummy. It was really creamy, and it even smelled really good. She had never had anything like this. Not that she could remember, but she loved it already. She hoped there were more inside._

" _So?"_

" _I love it! It's so tasty!"_

" _I literally work out just so I can eat more," she whispered to her. "Don't tell anybody."_

 _She giggled and finished the remaining half. "Thanks."_

" _You're very welcome." She set the bag of candy on the wheeled cart beside her bed then showed her the rest of the gifts. She fell in love with the stuffed elephant and rhino, and she loved the birth stone bracelet. She promised she'd never take it off, and it made them both happy to hear that._

 _Finally, when the gifts had all been given and placed safely back in the bag, the woman moved hair out of her face, and Ella licked her lips, wanting to know if she was her mom. She felt like she was, but she felt the same toward Lilly and Alyssa, because she didn't know. She hoped this woman was her mom. She was so nice and pretty and caring. They had similar hair and eyes too. She hoped this was her mom. Please, please, be my mom, she softly prayed before working up the courage to ask._

 _"Oh." She reached into her purse and pulled out a plastic container._

 _"What's that?" The girl peered at it._

 _"I made cupcakes." She removed the cover and revealed two vanilla, iced cupcakes with gold and silvers balls on them. "My sister helped me with them, and she has a thing for silver and gold."_

 _"Sister?" She might have an aunt._

 _"Yep. She made them special for you." She smiled. "I brought a candle, but it's too big, so I'll hold it and you make your wish then blow it out, okay?"_

 _"Okay."_

 _She lit the number six candle, hummed 'Happy Birthday' because she couldn't sing, and the girl laughed. Then she held it out to her, and she closed her eyes and wished her hardest for her to be her mom then blew it out, and they eat the cupcakes. Alyssa ended up with half of her friend's cupcake, because she was begging silently, and she caved._

 _When the cupcakes were gone, the young girl didn't want to wait anymore. "_ _Umm..."_

" _Yeah?" She met her eyes._

" _Can I ask you something?"_

" _Anything." She smiled encouragingly, feeling the child's hesitancy. "Go ahead, sweetie."_

" _Are you...my mom?" She whispered it, not wanting to hear the no that was most likely coming. She didn't want to know, but she had to know._

 _Alyssa paused in licking icing off her hand and watched them now at the mention of the M-word._

 _There was a long pause, Ella's face began to fall, and the woman just smiled even more._

" _Yes."_

 _"What?"_

 _"I'm your mom, baby. I'm sorry it took so long, and that I didn't say it sooner."_

 _Ella's eyes filled with tears of joy, and she hugged her tightly. "I missed you!"_

" _I'm here now." She pulled the girl onto her lap and smoothed her hair now. "I'm not leaving you."_

 _Ella sobbed into her chest, she rocked her comfortingly, and Alyssa left them then. She had to get some paperwork signed and filed. She waited until she was in the hall and out of their sight to cheer then practically danced to her car._

 _Back in the room when Ella had calmed down, the woman brushed and braided her hair and replaced the rubber band with an actual hair tie. She would probably have to wear them on her wrist for her. She didn't mind. She barely felt them anyhow._

" _What's your name, Mom?" she asked. "And what's my name?"_

" _Your name?"_

" _Yeah, I don't remember it. I get called kid or honey mostly, but never by any real name. Do I have a name, Mom?"_

" _Of course you do." She wrapped the hair tie at the end of the braid and noticed the vase of flowers at her bedside that were her favorite. "Your name is Iris. Iris Harrison. And I'm Andrea."_

 _"Andrea." She smiled. "My mom's name is Andrea."_

 _"And you're Iris." She hugged her. "My beautiful baby." She was never going to get tired of hearing her call her Mom, not matter how it was said._

––

 _Andrea left the room when Iris had fallen asleep and met with Alyssa for dinner. She was starved, and Alyssa didn't want to waste a single second. They discussed everything, and Alyssa liked the new name chosen for the new girl. Andrea didn't want to know her old name, and she couldn't learn about the parents as it was a closed adoption, and she was fine with that. She didn't care about her daughter's past, just the future they were going to have together._

" _That's just about it." Alyssa drank from her straw. "By the way, I've been personally paying for her hospital bills, and you don't have to worry about that, okay? I've got the most recent ones covered."_

" _Thank you."_

" _Once she's yours, she's all yours."_

" _I wouldn't want it any other way." She smiled. "Thank you, for calling me and for getting me out there."_

" _You're very welcome. I knew you two would hit it off."_

" _It's more than that," Andrea corrected. "It's... When I looked into her eyes, I just...felt like she was mine. I don't know why or what that was, but I knew there was no way I was leaving that room without taking her with me some day."_

 _Alyssa grinned. "Good."_

" _It sounds silly, but I don't care. I want to raise her and be her mom and help her through this more than I've wanted anything." She met Alyssa's eyes. "Are you sure her parents just..left her there after the accident?"_

" _Yeah. I tried to contact them, but assholes didn't reply." She shrugged._

" _I'll never understand that." She shook her head. "I don't want to either."_

" _Same." She blew out a sigh. "So, Iris?"_

" _Yeah, Iris Elena Harrison."_

" _It's cute. Where did you come up with that? One of your reserved baby names?"_

" _No. She...had a vase of irises, and they're my favorite flower, and Elena was my grandmother."_

" _Oh. It suits her well."_

" _I know." She sighed however. "I just don't know what to tell her when I take her home and there are no pictures of us anywhere." She ran a hand through her hair. "My sister's going to help me set up her room. Ugh, I wish I had pictures of her for it."_

" _Come up with a good lie," Alyssa suggested. "You're a lawyer after all."_

" _What am I gonna say? Our house burned down and then you were hit by a car?" She rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to lie to her."_

" _So you're going to tell her that her parents just dumped her there after a horrible accident?"_

" _No! Never! I just... I'll just..." She let out a defeated groan. "I'll come up with something."_

" _And I'll be ordering dessert while you do."_

 _She would have to think on this, but on the bright side, she had a child. God, she had a child. No matter what came next, it would be worth it._

– – –

 _Amy had made up the house and made an amazing dinner while Andrea went to bring Iris home, and Amy kept texting her and asking when they'd get here. She was so excited to meet her niece, and she wanted to shower her in the new clothes she'd bought and the pictures Andrea and Iris had taken from the hospitals that she'd developed. She had framed them and put them in Iris's bedroom. She'd seen the pictures, now she wanted to see the real thing._

 _Andrea hadn't realized just how long Iris was in the hospital, and she realized then Alyssa had been saving Iris just for Andrea. It probably wasn't at all allowed, but she was grateful. She couldn't wait to get her out of this hospital and home. She was nervous, but so was Iris, so they could be nervous together._

 _The house Andrea was living in was small, only two bedrooms, one bath and a living room that doubled as the kitchen. It was perfect for them, and Iris seemed to like it. The outside, anyway. She hoped she liked it. It was all they had._

" _I'll get your bag." Andrea released her seat belt and slipped out of the car._

 _Iris looked at the house and hugged her elbows._

" _You okay?" Andrea set a hand on her shoulder._

" _Uh-huh." She looked up. "It's just... I don't wanna forget what it looks like."_

" _You won't."_

 _She inhaled and nodded, taking the hand from her shoulder and holding it. "Let's go, Mom."_

 _Andrea gazed down at her then nodded and led her into their home, to their new future together, and she smiled._

– – –

 _Iris was playing outside with her grandfather while Amy and Andrea made drinks for them. They had spent the entire week in Florida with Andrea's parents, and it had been a blast. Iris got some color on her, Andrea and her parents had worked through their issues, and Amy got closer to her niece. It was just amazing. They had watched movies, went shopping, took so many photos, and Iris got to know her family. Andrea had asked them not to mention her absences to Iris, and they hadn't. She was glad. The last thing she needed was Iris worrying she had and her grandparents had problems. They didn't anymore._

 _Their mom walked in, smiling at the sight of her husband and grandchild. "Andrea, she's precious."_

 _"Thank you." Andrea smiled. "Here."_

 _"Oh, thanks." She accepted the drink. "Why have you hidden her from us for so long?"_

 _Andrea hesitated. "I wasn't hiding her. I just...wanted her to get comfortable."_

 _"It was my idea," Amy said. "I didn't really want that little angel to make the trip. She was a sickly little thing, but she's good and strong now."_

 _"She's hyper, that's for sure." Their mom smiled. "She's an angel. I can't wait to show her off to my friends. You'll bring her down for Christmas, won't you?"_

 _"Of course I will! She loves you guys. She's writing about you in her diary."_

 _"She has a diary?"_

 _"Yeah, it's really cute. It has a drawling of Ariel the little mermaid on it. She adores it." Andrea tucked hair behind her ear. "Let's go take these drinks out."_

 _"Let me go grab the camera." Amy dug through her purse. "My apartment needs photos of us. Photos of anything really."_

 _They joined Iris and Joel outside, Iris needed a drink and her grandpa needed to rest, and Amy was ready to take pictures of them. Andrea held Iris in her lap since they only had three chairs, and they all smiled for the camera. These memories were going to stay with them forever, and Andrea was so glad none of her old ones had returned. It had been six month since the accident, and she was sure Iris would never remember the life she had before. Nobody should remember parents so awful they abandon you the moment you need them most._

– – –

" _So, since it's my birthday, can I eat this entire cake myself?" Iris asked, leaning on the counter as Andrea placed the one and six in the cake. "The guests will never know."_

" _You couldn't finish half of this."_

" _I could try." She grinned._

" _Don't you have a party in the other room?"_

" _Fine." She swiped her finger across the side of the cake and bolted from the kitchen._

 _"You little... Brat!" Andrea called after then smoothed it over. She would be getting a piece of that side of the cake._

 _Carol joined Andrea. "We're out of punch, but I don't think anybody will care when the cake's out. It looks great. Did you buy or bake it?"_

" _Amy baked it. She wanted to be here, but she got caught up at work, so she made the cake as an apology."_

" _Daryl too."_

" _He couldn't make it?"_

" _No." She lowered her voice. "Today's also his daughter's birthday. She would've been Iris's age."_

" _Oh, how awful. Do you want to call him?"_

" _No, no. We talked this morning, and I just want to give him some space. He always takes her birthdays hard, but if he needs me, he'll call or stop by. Besides this is about Iris and her sixteenth birthday."_

" _Sixteen. It seems like she was just six." Andrea shook her head. "I'm happy she and Sophia met. They're...really good for each other, and they're so alike sometimes."_

" _They're like sisters." Carol smiled. "Sophia's never had a better friend. You've raised her well."_

 _She returned her smile. "Thank you. The same goes for Sophia."_

 _"I'll get a lighter for the candles before we both end up sobbing in the pantry," Carol mused._

" _Good idea." She laughed and looked out as Iris laughed with her friends. She smiled. Happy birthday, my angel._

– – –

" _So, Mom, which can I have?" Iris asked, reffering to the bows behind her. She had gone on a trip with her school to some environmental center where they went hiking and learned archery and made crafts and such when she was in sixth grade, and when they came back, Iris was obsessed with archery. She was too young for a weapon, so they agreed to wait until she was sixteen, and now that she was, she wouldn't stop bugging Andrea until they got the perfect bow. The movie Brave only made her want a bow even more._

" _Whichever one you want." Andrea looked at the prices. "But doesn't cost me my soul."_

" _Okaaaay." She wandered off on her own to look for the perfect bow._

 _Andrea glanced over and saw Daryl, and she joined him. "Hey."_

" _Hey." He gave her a strange look._

" _What's with that face?" She crossed her arms._

" _Just didn't expect to see someone like you in here."_

" _Someone like me? What the hell does that mean?"_

" _Just...that you don't seem like the type to possess weapons."_

" _It's not for me. It's for my daughter. She wants a bow. When she was in sixth grade, she went to—"_

"— _the environmental center," he nodded. "Sophia told me about it. Sounds like they had fun. Why come here now?"_

" _I told her she couldn't have a bow until she was sixteen. I still don't fully approve, but she loves it so at least I'm happy for her."_

" _That's good. If you want, I can teach her a few things. I use a crossbow myself, but I'm good with both."_

" _That would be great. I don't have any time to drive her to yours, so I'll have to call and let you know when you and she have time for that."_

" _I can pick her up, you know."_

" _Yeah, I know. It's just... I want to be there. I don't want anything to happen to her and I'm not there." She saw the look in his eye and hastily explained, "She's very easily hyped up, and she doesn't always remember to keep safe. I fully trust you with her, but...it's her I don't fully trust with a bow."_

" _Oh, right." He nodded. "I understand. My... I knew a kid just like that." He cleared his throat, not wanting to explain the whole thing to her, not today. "I gotta run, but gimme a call anytime."_

" _Thank you. That's very sweet." She smiled. "I will."_

 _Iris joined them with a bow that Daryl took away from her the instant she stopped. He then escorted her to put it back and find a proper fit for her. Andrea smiled and was about to follow when one of the store workers mentioned they made a nice couple and their kid was cute. He didn't mean anything by it, she could tell, but to think he thought Iris was a mixture of hers and Daryl's genes made her unease. Although she just smiled and thanked him before walking away._

 _She watched silently as Iris looked over the bows Daryl thought best for her, trying to find one she loved, and she saw certain...similarities between the two of them. It wasn't just matching eye color or skin tone—it was facial expressions and arm movements and body language. There was a sparkle in Daryl's eyes that she had seen in her daughter's eyes so many times. Maybe it was just a coincidence but perhaps it wasn't._

 _Daryl lost his daughter, and while he never told her the story, she had heard most of it from Carol and assumed the rest. Daryl believed his child was dead. His child who was a little girl born on October 15th 1998, the same date and year as Iris whose parents had abandoned after an accident._

" _Mom?" Iris frowned. "Mom?"_

" _What?" her voice was softy, dry._

" _Here, sit down." Daryl guided her to a bench outside the store. "You okay?"_

" _You're really pale." Iris sat beside her. "Are you feeling okay?"_

 _She nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I just need some air."_

" _If me getting a bow is this stressful, I won't get one."_

" _No, baby, it's not that. I promise it's nothing. Go and buy whatever bow you like best. I'll wait out here."_

" _You sure?" Daryl looked her over. "You don't look good at all."_

" _Thank you. That's just what I wanted to hear." She smirked. "I'll be fine. Now go."_

 _Iris reluctantly accepted her mom's credit card then followed Daryl back inside, her eyes lingering, but she did as she was told._

 _Andrea leaned forward, sucking in a deep breath and running her fingers through her hair. Holy fucking shit. No._

––

" _Alyssa, don't pull that "closed adoption" crap."_

" _I'm not pulling anything! You know what it means, and I cannot give you any information. I'm sorry, Andrea."_

" _Did you know?" she demanded._

" _All I know is that she was abandoned. I am sorry, Andrea—"_

 _She interrupted her by hanging up and tossing her phone on the bed. She calmed her breathing that didn't reach her lungs, and soon collapsed into a panic attack. Daryl Dixon would potentially be the biological father of her daughter. If Daryl finds out that Iris could possibly his daughter, he would do everything in his power to get her back. He would take her from Andrea, and it wouldn't really be taking. She may be his biological daughter. He had a blood claim to her._

 _God, what if he did win? What if he took her to court and got sole custody of Iris? Then just came in here and took her? Just dragged her out of here? Hell, he may not even have to drag her out of here. She may go willingly if she knew the truth. If she knew the truth, she would never forget her. She would hate her and blame her for Daryl's suffering, and she would never see her again when she turned eighteen. Iris kept grudges. She would never forgive her. She would never forget about it, ever._

 _And Daryl. He was Carol's friend long before Andrea and Daryl even seen each other, and they weren't even really friends. They got along because of the girls. If he were to find out that there was the slightest chance Iris was his daughter, he would jump. He'd discover the truth and never speak to her again. He may even unintentionally turn Carol and Sophia against her. She would lose one of the best friends she's ever had and her child and possibly even Karen, because she's Carol's sister. That could happen. Karen was a sweetheart, but she wouldn't want to risk losing her niece and Carol all over again after all this time._

 _God, no. She couldn't even begin to imagine the fallout if Iris was his child._

 _Struggling to catch some breaths, she realized that Daryl had abandoned Iris. She had been left in the hospital all by herself for weeks until Andrea adopted her. He couldn't have just assumed she was dead and just left. He had to have known she was alive. There was no possible way he couldn't have known. He left. He didn't wait. Didn't try to see if she was all right. He was to blame. He lost her. He left her. It was his own fault._

 _That didn't reassure her, didn't ease the swelling pain in her chest at the thought of her being right about this, and it certainly didn't do much for the air she couldn't get out of her throat. Daryl wouldn't be so upset if he knew she was alive. He cared about his daughter. He did. She knew he did. Carol knew. The entire state knew. He loved her very much and was clearly struggling to cope, but he was doing better now, with Carol at his side. There something missing, something both she and Daryl were missing. A third person perhaps. God, she felt dizzy._

" _Mom!" Iris ran into the room and dropped to her knees in front of her. "Oh, my God. Are you okay?" She gripped her shoulders. "It's okay. I'm here, just breathe. Do you need anything? Tell me what to do." She sounded scared, and she kept eye-contact._

 _Andrea shook her head._

" _C'mon, Mom, just focus on breathing." She set a hand on the floor. "Count with me! Okay. Count your breaths!"_

 _Together, counting breaths slowly, Andrea calmed down, and Iris hugged her. Andrea just felt a lump in her throat, but she kept trying to remind herself that she didn't know if it was true. She needed proof. She needed...DNA proof._

" _What the hell is going on? Is something wrong?" Iris searched her eyes. "You'd tell me if something was wrong, right?"_

" _I'm fine now." She tried to smile but failed. "I will be."_

" _You promise?"_

" _Yes, I promise." She set a hand on her cheek. "Thank you, Iris. I love you, honey."_

" _Okay, now you're really freaking me out." Tears shimmered in her eyes._

" _No, I just really love you." She hugged her. "I'm sorry I scared you. I didn't mean to."_

" _You did scare me. You scared the shit out of me, so you had better tell me if something's wrong."_

" _I will. I always will."_

 _She buried her face in her mom's shoulder. "Good."_

– – –

" _What are your plans for you sweet sixteen?" Iris asked. "I know it's not until next year, but you must have ideas."_

" _Not yet. I'm too busy trying to learn French."_

" _Should've taken Latin." She was taking it her junior year, and Patrick promised to let her borrow his notes. Honestly, she was just taking it to get closer to him. If she could just work up the courage to ask him out. But Sophia would have to work up the courage to ask Carl out, because of their moms' rule. Ugh! Damn rule!_

" _I fully intend to visit France, and I do not want to be standing there only being able to ask for potato. Or...an apple." She frowned and sat up. "I need a tutor."_

" _Ask Carl. He's taking it. He's pretty good."_

" _Carl, right." She shook her head. "I'll give him a call."_

 _"It's just French."_

 _"Shut up." She was blushing._

 _"And I get teased for having a crush on Patrick! You're just as bad!"_

 _"No one crushes as bad as you," Sophia corrected._

" _Sophia! Iris! Come downstairs for a second!" Andrea called. She waited, and they came off the stairs a few seconds later. "I'm having a small dinner party tonight, and I'd like you two to help me set up. Unless you have homework."_

" _We don't," Iris promised. "What's the occasion?"_

" _No occasion. I just think we could use some guests at our table."_

" _What are you making?"_

" _Baked chicken with boiled potatoes and broccoli, and a chocolate cake for dessert."_

" _Okay, there has to be some kind of news for you," Iris prodded._

" _There isn't. I just feel like cooking for more than two, and Carol's been stress so I figured she could use a day off from cooking and cleaning up the mess."_

" _Who all is coming?" Sophia asked._

" _Karen and Tyreese with their kids, you and your mom, Shane and Daryl."_

" _Daryl? Why Daryl?" Iris sat on the arm of the couch. "I didn't know you two were friends."_

" _We're not, but he's close to Carol, who happens to be my best friend, and I don't want any food to go to waste. You rarely eat anything anymore."_

" _That's not true. You should see her at lunch." Sophia crossed her arms._

" _I'm going to kick you," Iris warned._

" _And at track practice when Lilly brings us snacks."_

" _Sophia." She smacked her out._

" _What? You do. I don't know where it goes."_

" _All right, I'm going to make the cake," Iris decided. "I make good cake."_

" _You've tasted a lot."_

" _That is it!" Iris grabbed a throw pillow from the couch and attempted to smother Sophia with it. Sophia just laughed and fought back._

" _Girls, stop." Andrea came between them. "You can make the cake, and Sophia can help me with the table."_

 _They prepared for the dinner party, Andrea had already called Karen and them to make sure they were coming, now she had to convince Carol to bring Daryl. He might not come on his own, and she didn't have his number. She would get it from Carol tonight if he didn't come. She needed him to come tonight. If she was ever going to get any peace, he needed to come._

––

 _Karen and Tyreese were talking in the living room while Sophia and Iris played with baby Harry, and Maddie was texting her friends on the couch. Shane was helping Andrea in the kitchen while she stressed over whether Daryl coming or not. Carol said she would try, and she didn't sound too positive. She couldn't stop her hands from shaking. She needed to know, and he needed to know if she could ever bring herself to say it—if it's true that is._

 _Carol arrived just as Andrea called for dinner, and Daryl was with her. He looked a little uncomfortable, but a few looks at the people there, and he seemed to calm down enough. She served dinner and managed to sit through it long enough to serve dessert with Iris giving her a hand. She could see that Daryl did enjoy that, and she made sure to pick up his dishes first, smiling that he had licked the fork clean, and she placed it into a plastic baggie before collecting the others, and Iris helped her load the dish washer while the others groaned blissfully in the living room._

" _Is there any cake left?" Iris asked, turning on the dishwasher._

" _You cannot possibly still be hungry."_

" _Not for me. For Patrick. He likes chocolate cake."_

" _Oh. Yeah, there's plenty left. You know where the plastic ware is."_

 _She grabbed a container and cut a slice of cake for Patrick. "So, I'm just gonna go run this down to him, you know, while it's still fresh."_

 _Andrea paused and turned to her. "By run do you mean drive in my car?"_

" _Please? You said you'd consider letting me drive! I'm taking driver's ed next semester, and I just want to make sure I do the best I can! Please, Mom, please!"_

" _Fine, but I'm going with you."_

" _Do you have to?"_

" _Yes, you don't even have a permit!"_

" _Shane can come with me." She grabbed his arm as he came into the kitchen to return his glass._

" _You'll let Shane go with you but not me?"_

" _Well, Shane's a little more calm than you when it comes to driving. Well, me driving anyway."_

" _Iris, I'm not going to—"_

" _We'll be back in twenty minutes," Shane interrupted her. "I'll keep an eye on her, and if I think she's not doing well, I'll take over. Is that all right?"_

 _She pursed her lips. "I suppose."_

" _Thanks, Mom." Iris waited until they were outside to thank Shane and let him know he could drive. She just wanted to talk to him in private. She had questions, and she hoped he had answers. Maybe._

 _Andrea had a little trouble trying to figure out which fork Iris had used and eventually just grabbed the glass she had drank from. She bagged it and set it in the cabinet behind the granola Iris ate with yogurt for breakfast, knowing she wouldn't go near it until morning, and the glass would be long gone by then. She needed to speak to Shane, so she hoped they were back sooner than they said. Or at least not much later. Her nerves were raw, and she wasn't sure how much longer she keep this in. She hoped longer than long enough._

––

 _Andrea watched Iris sleep from the armchair in her room, holding the stuffed rhino she had given her so long ago, and her stomach knotted up, as she waited for Shane to call about the DNA test. Iris was out cold, sleeping on her stomach, with her long hair braided back. She let out a small snore every now and then but nothing more. She was precious, surrounded by the stuffed elephant and lion. She always had been. Andrea couldn't bear to see the look in her eye if the results came back the way Andrea feared they might._

 _When Iris first lived with her, Andrea had to sleep with her just to make her feel safe. She would curl up at Andrea's stomach, her hands gripping hr shirt tightly, like she was terrified she'd wake up and it'd have all been a dream. Andrea would just stroke her hair until her little first loosened as she fell asleep. That memory was the strongest memory Andrea had. She remembered every moment with Iris, but that one stuck out more than the others. That one made Andrea feel...like she could be the best mom possible._

 _Shane appeared in the doorway, Andrea stood up and set the toy in the chair, and with her back turned, wiped her eyes dry. She tiptoed out of the room and gently pulled the door shut behind her. She didn't want to talk about it here, so they went to a bar._

 _Andrea exhaled deeply, her eyes in the whiskey before her, and Shane studied her. "Well, damn."_

" _I'm sorry."_

" _There's nothing to be sorry for. Iris always was bound to be somebody else's daughter. I just never thought she'd be the daughter of my best friend's friend." She ran her hands through her hair. "Jesus, this complicates the shit out of things."_

" _Are you gonna tell her? Were you ever going to tell her?"_

" _I always planned to tell her when she was old enough." She rested her head in her hand. "I didn't want it to be hidden. I am her mother, just...not by blood. That doesn't even mean anything—blood. It's love that matters most, and I love her more than I've loved anything." She felt tears in her eyes._

" _I'm sure she knows that."_

" _It's hard to know anything when you're told the woman you've called Mom the last eleven years isn't biologically your mother."_

" _She knows you love her."_

" _I'm going to hurt her worse than anybody ever will," she informed him. "Not only will I reveal that we aren't blood related, but that...her father left her in a hospital all by herself. That her father has been in her life for the past five years and didn't even realize it was her, that he moved on with Sophia and Carol."_

" _That's his fault, not yours. He'll have to face that fact too."_

" _Funny thing is...he's been suffering for the past eleven years." She met his eyes. "Carol...talks about it to me sometimes. I don't know the whole story but...there is a different version. I want to know his story, because I know it's different than the one I was told."_

" _He didn't abandon her? He left her in the damn hospital for weeks. He didn't call or answer the social worker's calls. What more is there?"_

" _I don't know, but if there is any chance I can tell my daughter that she has a dad who loves her and wants to be in her life, I'm going to take it. I want her to know that she was not a mistake. I just hope Daryl's side can confirm that." She picked up the glass and downed its contents._

– – –

Daryl had calmed down, but hadn't moved from Carol's arms, and she stroked his hair. She wasn't waiting for him to talk. She wasn't waiting for him to get up. She wasn't waiting period. She knew that whatever had happened to put in that state wasn't going to leave him. She knew he didn't want to talk about it, that maybe even he couldn't. He needed to deal with it himself first, and she understood. She didn't need words to know that. She just knew him that well. She prayed that he found what he needed. It broke her heart to see him like this.

Daryl was gazing at the wall, feeling only the warmth and stroke of Carol's hand, and suddenly the choking confusion settled, the pain and tears had stopped. It came into focus, and he knew that needed to speak to that fucking bitch who told him his daughter was dead. Whatever she did took his daughter from him. He couldn't forgive that bitch for this. Her, or himself.


	8. Broken Pieces Of The Same Mirror Pt 1

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

"Carol?" Daryl had been on the road since five in the morning, coffee his best friend, and he promised Carol he'd call and let her know where he was, how he was. He couldn't bring himself to call her, so he hoped to just leave a voicemail. Sadly, someone had picked up.

"Nope. It's Iris." She rearranged the apples in Carol's bowl, finding a yellow one to snack on. "Carol's at the store. We have a meet in a few hours, and she's bringing the water or oranges or something. I don't really remember, but I can tell her you called. Do you wanna leave a message?"

"No, no. It's nothing."

"Doesn't sound like nothing." She stopped playing with the apples. "You sound distressed. You okay?"

"I'm fine, just a little tired."

"Tired and driving? That's a bad combo. Pull over, find a place to sleep and just rest. You sound exhausted, and I don't want anything to happen to you, so pull over."

"Sure, I will."

"Lair." She bit into the apple.

"I will. I just...needa see someone first."

"Well, I have to go get ready for my meet. My mom wants me home to take pictures or something else horribly scarring. I hope your visit goes well, and stay safe."

"Hey, Iris?"

"Yeah?"

He hesitated, wanting to tell her to enjoy the embarrassing moments while they last. "Good luck. Tell Sophia I wish her luck too."

"Will do. Bye."

He hung up and tossed the phone into the passenger seat, running a hand down his jaw. He was about twenty-seven miles from where Celia's hag of a mother lived. He needed to sleep, but he couldn't. He had tried to sleep but could only see her face, her little pale face, and he couldn't see that. He couldn't look at that face and know that he just walked out because of one sentence. One goddamn sentence that he didn't try to confirm. One fucking sentence destroyed not only his life but hers. What the hell was he going to say to her? What poisonous thoughts had she filled her head with? Fuck, what the hell was he driving into?

– – –

"You seem distracted." Andrea moved hair that wind had blown into her mouth. "What's on your mind?"

"Daryl," she admitted.

"What about Daryl?" She then scanned the bleachers. "I haven't seen him today. Where is he?"

"Not here. He's...visiting someone. I'm just worried about him."

"No, it's more than that. What's up, Carol?"

She met her eyes. "It's...just last night. I can't get it out of my head."

"Did you guys—?"

"No." She shook her head. "No, no, we didn't. Almost. Sort of."

"How do you almost sort of?"

"Well, when you freak out at his touch, I suppose."

"What happened? Did he do something you didn't like?"

"No! No, he wouldn't." She sighed. "He just exposed my back and his hand touched my bare skin, and I...couldn't breathe. I felt...I was back with _him_. I knew I wasn't in my mind, but my body was."

"Did you guys talk about it?"

"We didn't get a chance to. Daryl got a call last night and has business out of the city."

"What business?" Andrea demanded, and Carol narrowed her eyes at her. "I—Sorry. I didn't mean to sound so pushy. I'm only curious. Daryl doesn't do much outside of the city work. Unless he does."

"It's not work. It's...personal." She shrugged. "It's his business."

"Right."

"And he didn't tell me anyway. I just assume it's his brother."

"Do you want to call him? I have my phone." She dug it out of her purse. "It'll set your mind at ease."

"No, it won't, and I don't want to have this talk over the phone."

"If you need to talk, I'll listen." She glanced around. "Later. Right now is a bad time."

"Yeah." She smiled a little.

"How about dinner at my place? The girls will be exhausted, so we can just order pizza and watch some movies. We can talk when they pass out on my couch. I have wine."

She bit her lip. "I suppose. I don't really want to be alone tonight anyway."

"Great. We can stop and get Honey if you want."

"Could we?"

"Of course. I still have some of his food from when I dog sat her for you guys."

"Good, because she eats like a monster."

She laughed with Carol, and they turned their attention back to the girls. Andrea crossed her legs and glanced at Carol then let her eyes fall. She had to talk to Carol. She needed to talk to Carol. After what happened last night, she knew what Daryl was doing, but he was going the wrong way. She shouldn't have told him yet. Shit.

– – –

 _Andrea sat in the living room with her younger sister Amy who had just gotten off the phone with Daryl Dixon, and Amy gripped her hand, fully supporting her sister. It was time the truth be told. It had been a long time coming. She just never thought it would be like this. She never thought the child adopted eleven years ago would turn out to be the daughter of Daryl Dixon._

 _Over the last few months the pieces had fallen into place, and there was no denying them now. She didn't want to tell anybody. She wanted to keep it to herself and just pretend it was a lie, but she couldn't do that anymore. She knew Daryl. She knew how much he was hurting and how much he cared. She couldn't hurt him anymore, even if the first ten and a half years weren't her fault. The last half year were, but no more. Iris was going to be eighteen in another year, and she might leave them both, but she needed to know she had the option. She wasn't a little girl anymore, and Andrea couldn't protect her from the truth. She could only break it to her as gently as possibly._

" _You're doing the right thing," Amy assured her._

" _Then why does it feel like I'm about to tear his world apart?"_

" _Because you are." She locked eyes with her. "But for the better. Some things in life have to happen this way, because something like this can't gently be entered into; it has to shred and make way for a new path. A better path. That's what Dad always said."_

" _Iris says that, only in her Iris way though."_

" _You'll get through this. It'll be fine."_

" _Will you be there? When I tell her, will you be there?"_

" _I think you two should be alone, but I'll stop by after. I promise. Just give me a call."_

 _She inhaled deeply. "I'll call him tomorrow. I think he needs some time alone to process that. Um, I'm gonna use the bathroom then head home. Thank you so much for doing this."_

" _You're welcome."_

 _Andrea headed to the bathroom and leaned against the door, taking a deep breath. This couldn't get any worse. It could only get better. She didn't even know how it would go. It could go well. She just needed to sit Iris down and tell her. Jesus, how was she going to tell her?_

– – –

Daryl stared up at the ceiling of his motel room, the sounds of the TV nothing more than hushed voices, and he used his arm as a pillow, his mind so alive when his body was dead tired. He couldn't stop thinking about that call. He wasn't sure if it was real, or it was just a sick prank by that old bitch, but he had to find out.

He made a promise to not get his hopes up. He had all of his hope taken from him as a child and then it was stolen yet again when Ella passed, and now he had a small chuck from Carol and Sophia. He thought he could just start over with them, even though there was no moving on or erasing his past. He wanted to make a place for Ella within him and he had. He had coped with Carol's help and time. He couldn't believe that this was real. He didn't want to be disappointed. No, that wasn't the correct word. He wasn't sure what was. He couldn't really think he was so tried. He just wanted to the truth out, no matter what it was.

But, Jesus, if she was alive... He didn't know what to feel. Happy? Relived? Blessed? Cursed? Pissed? What the hell happened between Ruth telling him that lie to now? There was another side he didn't know if Ella was truly alive. From her point of view, he had just left her all alone in a hospital after a horrifying accident. She was taken in by a complete stranger and had been there for the last eleven years.

Oh, God. She must hate him. He sat up. If Ruth was the one who took her out from under him, Ruth would poison her mind with stories about him to keep Ella from ever trying to find him. That was the type of woman she was. And honestly, Ruth had a lot of ammo. In Ella's mind, he abandoned her at the hospital. He left her, and she was taken in by a snake who didn't care for anything other than manipulating people. She could loathe him. She could want to hunt him down and demand to know what the hell she did to make him leave her like that. She might wish him dead. She might never want to see him. Christ, she might really, really despise him. He hated himself so much right now, so of course she would feel the same. Amplified though. She had this hate brewing for eleven years, and him only a few hours.

What if she was the one who called him? Was that her voice? Did she want to meet him? Was she reaching out to him? Maybe she found out where he was, or found his number after all this time, and called to tell him she was alive. Maybe she was waiting for him to come and take her home. Or she might just want to meet him, just see him and ask him why. He couldn't answer that question. He never meant to leave her. That would be the _last_ thing he would do.

He groaned and rubbed his forehead with the heels of his hands, cringing at the scenarios playing in his mind on a loop, and he wanted to drink them away. He couldn't. He wouldn't. He might meet his daughter tomorrow. He wanted to be at his best. He wanted to be sober, and he wanted to wear nice, new clothes. He wanted her to see that him as she remembered, and he wanted her to know that even though they were apart, he missed her every day and that only bad information kept them apart. He wanted her to know that if he had the slightest hint of her being alive and well, he would have gone to her without a moment's pause.

Flopping back on the bed, he groaned again and tried to calm his mind. He took something to help him sleep and curled up in bed, the back of his hand on his forehead. He was gazing at the ceiling again, and he drifted off.

––

The house was the same as the picture Celia kept in her bedroom—run down, broken windows, boards missing from the porch. He took a deep breathe in and climbed the shaky stairs, hoping oddly that his kid wasn't there, because this place was an actual shit hole. He knocked on the front door when he realized the doorbell was broken, and he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

When the door opened, it wasn't Ella who stood there, and for a moment his heart sank. He was glad that Ruth was still alive and kicking, so he could ask her what the fuck she did that day. She looked like shit. Her wispy white hair pulled back into a sloppy bun, dark bags under her eyes that told him that she had more than just coffee in that mug, and she wore a robe, worn in both color and material. She still had that resting bitch face on though. Always.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she demanded, voice shrill, rough.

"Is she here?"

"Who?"

"My daughter."

A dark smile crossed her lips, and she took a drink out of her mug. "Your daughter, huh? She's dead."

"No, she's not."

"Go tell that to her body."

He snatched the mug and tossed it onto the ground. "Do not play games with me—not about this!"

She scoffed, setting her jaw, and she crossed her arms. "You owe me for that."

"You owe me for the last eleven year, you hag!" he growled. "Tell me what happened to my daughter. Tell me what you did to her!"

"I don't know."

"Ruth!"

"I don't."

"I swear to God—"

"I! Don't! Know!" she snapped. "I wasn't eligible to adopt her, so I don't have a goddamn clue what happened to her! That fucking social worker wouldn't give me the time of day, wouldn't even let me see my own damn grandchild!"

"Good! You didn't deserve to see her!"

"You don't!" she hissed. "I hope you never find her!"

"What the hell did I do to you? What the hell did I ever do to you to make you do this to me? To her?"

"You took everything from me!" she shouted. "My daughter! My granddaughter! Everything I wanted for my Celia was ruined because of you! You came into her life and destroyed it! Then you took the one piece of her I had left!"

"Celia made that decision!"

"Because your brother bullied her into it!"

"You are such a contradiction! You want Celia and Ella, but you'd rather Celia aborted Ella. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Ella was a mistake, and I was glad to get rid of her, but now she is the only thing left I have of Celia."

He narrowed his eyes. "It was _you_." Ruth shifted. " _You_ were the one who left Ella outside of my house in the middle of the night! Celia didn't know. She just covered for you."

She looked away. "I don't know what—"

"You didn't even let Celia see her! That's why she came to me, askin' to see Ella 'cause you just took the baby and dropped her off with me! How in the hell could you be so selfish? That was her daughter! The only child she was likely to ever have! You couldn't let her hold her for just one goddamn second?!"

"I knew with one look at that blue-eyed little cur that Celia would melt and keep her. I did what I could to help her regain her life, and it was stolen a few short years later." She clenched her jaw. "I hated Ella when she was born, but now she is all that's left of my daughter in this world, and I want nothing but good things for her."

He looked at her with such disgust. "You will never be a part of her life when I find her."

" _If_ you find her, you won't get her back. You abandoned her. Why would they let you take her back? Hmm?" She smirked. "You took my daughter, so I took yours."

"What did you do?"

"I told Alyssa how unfit you were for hours while you paced the waiting room—the _empty_ waiting room. I don't think she even saw you." She met his eyes. "Then before Ella was out of surgery, I told you she had passed on. You fell for it, just like I knew you would. Broken men...are the easiest to crumble. You dust off one little speck and...boom, the world comes tumbling down."

He clenched his jaw and kept silent for second, not wanting his anger to get the best of him. "Where is she?"

"I don't know. Like I said: Alyssa didn't let me near her." She made a face of annoyance. She wanted to hurt that stupid, uppity woman that day. And all the days where she went to try and convince her to let her take Ella. "She was adopted out, I guess. You'll never find her, Daryl. You lost her the second you walked out of the hospital."

"No, but you did." He turned and left.

"You owe me a cup!"

He flipped her off and continued walking. He needed to find Alyssa. She had answers he desperately needed. He had to get them, no matter how much he had to beg or bride. He had to know what happened to his baby girl.

– – –

Sophia and Iris were conked out on the couch with Honey in between them, Carol had covered them with a blanket before she and Andrea went upstairs. They talked about meaningless, silly things over wine, Andrea knew she had to tell her tonight, and Carol wasn't sure she wanted to talk about her and Daryl at all. She just needed to talk to him about that phone call. And why hadn't he called her? She was worried about him.

"Carol, could I ask you something?"

"What is it?"

"Daryl's daughter?"

"Ella."

"Ella...what happened to her?"

"It's not for me to say. It's his past."

"Right. Sorry."

A beat.

"Carol..." Andrea met her eyes and swallowed hard. "I need to confide in you."

Carol's worry now reached out to Andrea. "Anything. You can tell me anything. You know that."

"It's...awful." Her voice broke. "Really, it's the worst thing I've ever done."

She reached over and grasped her hand. "I don't care what it is, Andrea. You can tell me every awful thing you've ever done, and I'll still love you. I'll still be your best friend." She smiled encouragingly at her.

"It's about Iris...and her parents."

"Her parents?" Carol frowned a little in confusion, but decided to wait to ask once Andrea was done talking. "Go on."

"I found out I couldn't have kids pretty young, and I knew I wanted a child in my life so I filled out every adoption form I could get my hands on. Uhh, about...nine years later, I got a call from my friend Alyssa. She—she told me there was a little girl who needed a home. She had been abandoned at a hospital by her parents after a car accident." She could see the light going off in Carol's eyes. "I adopted her and have raised her for years unaware of who her parents were. Then I began to see certain similarities between her...and Daryl, and the parts of the story you told me about his daughter."

Carol's grip loosened on Andrea's hand, and she straightened, not speaking.

"I had Shane pull some strings and have one of his lad buddy perform a DNA test, just to make sure. It was a closed adoption so I couldn't just call and find out who her parents were. The results...were a complete match. Iris is Daryl's biological daughter."

"What?" Her voice barely came out.

Andrea just studied Carol's face. "Iris is Daryl's daughter."

"And you...knew for her how long?"

"Just a little over half a year," she assured her.

"Half a year—" She let her hand go and stood up. "You knew the truth for over half a year?!"

"Yes."

"And you didn't say anything?!" Carol exclaimed. "Why the hell didn't you say something?"

"How could I? She's my daughter, and—"

"She left a hole in someone's life!" Carol interrupted. "Daryl has been in agony, struggling for years, hating the world and himself, and you could have cut that pain short over half a year ago?"

"I—I didn't know what to do with the information at first. I thought about telling them, but...Iris was too young to know. I thought I could keep it to myself until she was eighteen, but I can't. I see Daryl almost every day, and I can't...hurt him, or her anymore."

"I—I cannot look at you right now." She left the room and found the bathroom, shuddering once the door was shut. She closed her eyes and set her hands on her temple. She didn't know how to soak in this information. She had no idea how to handle this. This was the last thing she had ever expected Andrea to tell her. She couldn't form a proper thought. She just kept thinking about all of it. All of the times Daryl and Iris had hung out, and he didn't know. She didn't know. God, they didn't know.

The water balloon fight. The birthday parties. The bitter banter. The glaring when they had a disagreement. Halloween. Going shopping with the girls—Daryl hated it, but Carol needed someone to talk to while the girls got clothes for school. The distant, sad looks Daryl gave Iris—and Sophia—when they showed off their new clothes and school stuff. He didn't know he was looking at Ella. He was thinking about what she would be doing, and he didn't know he was looking directly at Ella. He had no clue that was his little girl. Through all of the laughs, small fights, shared music interests, shared food interests, shared anything...he didn't know. That was all Ella. That was... God. Their first meeting at the housewarming party.

She sank to the floor and squeezed her eyes shut. That Christmas party. Daryl had a horrible day, and Iris cheered him up with her gift. She was twelve years old. She had gotten everybody a gift, and Daryl had gotten this little crossbow. It was something she and her mom had made at some art school. Maggie had suggested it. She taught classes there in her free time, just because she loved the kids and the art so much. Sophia and Lizzie had tagged along, but they made bandanas. Iris had made a small pot and cut out leaves shapes for Andrea. If you light a candle in it, the entire room lit up with leaves. It was beautiful. Daryl liked that one too.

All of the time they spent together. God, they did so many things with the girls, especially in the summers when Andrea worked herself to the bone to pay for their house. Carol and Daryl took them everywhere. They had so much fun, and now, looking back, it made sense that Iris was Ella. She and Daryl had a connection. Carol thought it was just Iris reaching out, but it wasn't that. It was the young Ella inside of her reaching out to young Daryl, and while neither of them knew the other, that connection drew them back to each other. A father-daughter bond. They fought like siblings though. Daryl could be so childish, and Iris just knew it all. She was so like her... like Andrea. Nature verses nurture.

Andrea had raised Iris well. She didn't smoke. She didn't drink. She didn't get into any trouble with the law. She was doing great in school. She had a respectable boyfriend. She was on the track team. She was going to do volunteer work this summer. She had some problems that she and Andrea had worked out, but she was a teenager. Of course she was going to face problems. And Andrea had been there when Iris needed her most. They were mother and daughter, and while Andrea didn't give birth to Iris, they shared so many things. They looked alike. They had similar laughs. Their eyes were even the same color. Not to mention the hair. It was Daryl's hair, but Andrea had managed to help Iris deal with it. The older she got, the less it curled, so that helped.

Carol could remember every moment with Andrea and Iris, and she knew that Andrea loved that child more than anything else in the world. She loved her as much as Carol loved Sophia. She could see that love long before she knew the truth. That hadn't changed. Andrea hadn't changed. She had a tough decision to make. It would likely tear a hole in their relationship. Iris valued trust more than anything, and Andrea had known about this for over half a year. God, what came next would be like a knife in everybody's chest. And back. She couldn't pick sides. She loved Daryl and Andrea both too much to do that, so she would be there for them both.

Andrea would need somebody, and she chose to tell Carol before anybody else. Well, after Amy, most likely. She trusted Carol to let her be the second person to tell. Shane had to help. He wasn't told. Amy was told. Carol was told. It took a lot of trust and a lot of blind faith to do that. She knew that Carol and Daryl were in a relationship, and she still told her. She still took that chance. Andrea could have not told her. She could have not told anybody, but she did. She was. Carol may not know how she felt about this, but Andrea had earned a lot of respect from her. She was quiet literally about to risk losing everything, but she was still going to do it. For Daryl. For Iris. Even for herself. How could Carol be angry at that?

Andrea sat in bed, hugging her legs to her chest, and she looked up when Carol entered. She didn't say anything, just waited, and Carol sat down in front of her. She could see it in her eyes, and she broke down into tears. She didn't know what to expect when she told Carol, but she was grateful for her reaction, no matter how long it had taken her to get there.

––

"What are you going to tell Daryl?" Carol asked softly in the darkness of Andrea's bedroom, Honey by their legs, and Andrea exhaled slowly. "Have you thought about it?"

"I called him." She turned her head to look at Carol. "The night you two were together, I had Amy call and tell him Ella was alive. He dropped the phone, so she hung up. She didn't get to tell him about Ella, but...I will tell him. When he gets back in town."

"And Iris?"

"Tomorrow night."

"So soon?"

"It'll be easier to tell Daryl about her when she's not raving, because he'll want to see her, and the girl can rave." She was too tired to even laugh. "I'll make her favorite dinner and just talk to her. And then she'll yell at me and storm off."

"It might not be that bad."

"Carol, it'll be that bad. I know my daughter."

"Just trying to make you feel better."

"I know. Thank you." She smiled. "That means a lot."

"That's what I'm here for." She returned it. "Get some sleep."

"I don't sleep anymore. I just stress with my eyes closed."

Carol laughed, and Andrea managed to chuckled. "Good night then."

"Good night."

– – –

Iris and Patrick were curled up on the couch together, partly watching an old movie and mostly kissing and talking. The movie was just background noise. A nice, black and white background noise. They had gotten home early since practice was canceled due to Tara's niece being sick at school. She had to take her home, so they were free until seven when Patrick had to head home and practice what he would say during an interview for some college his parents want him to attend. Heavy eye rolling from Iris.

"Can't you just stay for dinner?"

"My aunt's making dinner for us."

"Ours will be so much better. We'll have store-bought lasagna and bread sticks."

"How tempting."

"I know, right?" She laughed then searched his eyes. "Did they mention when?"

"Not yet, but...my aunt tells me they may have found a house."

She sighed. "I see."

"I thought we weren't going to talk about this. We still have—"

"A week? Two? What does it matter when all of your time is scheduled out to interviews and meets and studying." She sat up. "I just would like to have one day with you that wasn't interrupted by them."

"Iris, they aren't making me do all those things."

"Yes, they are." She grabbed the bowl of popcorn and headed to the kitchen. "You won't ever acknowledge it, because you want to make them proud so you'll feel they actually care about what you want, but they are."

"They do care about what I want."

"Then why the hell are they making you move in the middle of your senior year?" Iris snapped. "If they cared, they'd tough it out for the next five months and let you go wherever the hell you want! I don't know what you want to be, but do they? Do they ask? Do they care?"

"Of course they do."

"I'm sure." She tossed the bowl into the sink. "Why don't you just go? They might call while you're out and phone the police because you might be having fun."

"What the hell happened between asking me over for dinner and my parents?"

"Carl and Sophia are at her place," Iris said instead. "They're probably studying for the quiz in English. You already took that class, so we can't study for that together. I have to study alone, because you know it all, and you're a shit study partner when you have to go over something you've already done and passed."

"What? Is that what this is about?"

"No, it's about how they can just sit around and study or go out on a date without having to cut time short. All we do is have our time cut shorter and shorter until we'll only see each other at school! I hate the thought of that, Patrick! God, I already am stuck here alone all day, and when I finally have somebody to spend time with, you have to leave." She folded her arms. "I hate being alone all the dam time, and I know it's not your fault, but Jesus could we just have one hour together without..."

"Without?"

"I don't know. Forget it." She ducked her head so that her hair fell in her face, rubbing at her eyes with her finger.

"I'm not going to forget it. You're upset, and I get it. I'm stuck all alone at my place. I hate it. I really hate it."

She lifted her head. "You've never told me that."

"It's not a conversation starter."

She licked her bottom lip, running her teeth over it, and she tucked hair behind her ear. "Do you wanna be alone together?" He laughed, and she smiled a little.

He closed the space between them and hugged her. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, her arms around his neck, and she dug her nails into her arm, hating that she always wanted to start a fight. She always wanted to keep people she loved and who might hurt her away. It was a horrid instinct. She didn't know where it came from, but she wanted it to go away.

"Hey."

"Hmm?" He pulled away enough to look at her face.

"Patrick...I—"

The front door opened, Patrick let Iris go to help her mom with the bags before they fell onto the floor, and Iris fell forward a little. She blinked and went to help her mom too, and she chewed on her inner bottom lip, mentally going off on herself while Patrick and her mom spoke.

"I thought you were having lasagna." Patrick put away the meats.

"We were, but I decided to make chicken enchiladas."

"Sounds really good."

"I'd invite you over for dinner, but I need to talk to Iris."

"Oh, no. I have plans with my aunt and her boyfriend anyway." He pushed up his glasses. "I should head home and change for that."

"I'll walk you out." Iris balled up the empty bags and stuffed them in the bag holder on their way, and she held Patrick's hand. "I'll call you before bed. I need to talk to you, so will you stay up?"

"I have to study anyway, so I'll probably be until midnight."

"Okay." She smiled. "Drive safe, okay?"

"I will." He kissed her. "Bye."

"Bye." She headed back inside to give her mom a hand with dinner.

– – –

Sophia curled up with Honey on the couch, Carol tugged the curtains closed and paced the kitchen, waiting for Daryl to come home. He was supposed to be here an hour ago, so they stopped by his house and haven't left. Sophia was already in her pajamas, reviewing for a test while Honey chewed on a toy beside her, and Carol tried calling him again. She was worried. Beyond worried. It came and went an hour ago.

"Do you think it's traffic?" Sophia asked, tilting her head back to look at an upside down version of her mom.

"At this hour?"

"You never know."

"Have you tried to call him?"

"Yeah. I've even texted him. Whatever he is, he doesn't want to be found."

She sighed. "Let's just go home."

"No, let's stay over tonight. I mean, we're here and exhausted, and I already have my pj's on, so let's just stay over. You can wear one of Daryl's shirts to sleep in."

"We haven't eaten dinner."

"We can order pizza."

"You just want to be incredibly lazy."

"Yep." She smiled. "Please, just say yes."

"Fine." She picked up her phone and called for pizza.

Sophia knocked her knees together, looking over the highlighted answer to her quiz for tomorrow and chewed on her bottom lip. She could feel her mom was stressed out. She hoped tonight took some of that away. She wanted to know what was up, but she would wait until her mom told her. And she would. They told each other everything. Unless it involved someone else. She hoped this didn't involve Daryl and his mysterious "business trip". She didn't want Daryl to go through any more crap. He'd been through enough. It just needed to stop. The next person to hurt him would deal with Sophia personally. She couldn't fight unless she was really angry, and she could run, so that was a win. Hopefully.

Carol leaned against the counter and tried Daryl once more after ordering their dinner. She sighed and closed her eyes. It would be fine. It would all be fine. It had to be fine. She hoped Iris took the news well enough to be able to meet Daryl as her father. One day, perhaps. One day soon if they were lucky.

– – –

"I see Grandma gave you her recipe," Iris commented during dinner.

"Yeah. I—I asked her last week."

"It's good." She took a drink of soda. "You okay? You haven't really eaten anything."

"I'm not all that hungry." She cleared her throat. "I need to talk to you, Iris."

"What about?"

Inhaling deeply, she just went for it. "You're adopted."

"Wow, this is much better than the last early April Fools prank." She took another bite of her dinner. "Shane came up with this one, didn't he?" It was their thing. Early April Fools pranks. They both got one before the actual day, and Iris hadn't used her yet, but last year's was perfect. The look on her mom's face was priceless. Mom could do better than this.

"I'm not pranking you." She met her eyes. "I could never have children, Iris. I adopted you eleven years ago."

Iris dropped her fork. "What?"

"You were too young to remember, but you were abandoned at a hospital when you were five. Alyssa called me and told me that I could meet you and adopt you, if I wanted. I'd been trying to get a baby for nine years, and while you weren't a baby...you were perfect. I fell in love with you the instant I saw you, and I knew there was not a chance in hell I was leaving without you."

"Alyssa? The... She used to babysit me. She made muffins."

"Yeah."

"Oh...my...God." The color drained from her face. "That's why there are no baby pictures of me anywhere in the house. That's why you never told me about my birth story. You don't have one to tell." She just felt numb, her brain buffering like a video, unable to process this. "That's where the scar came from."

"I—I didn't carry you for nine months or get a single stretch mark or deal with morning sickness, but I _am_ your mother. I've been with you through every fever, every tantrum, every lost tooth, every skinned knee. I love you with my entire heart. You know that, Iris."

She wracked her hands through my hair. "Why—why the hell don't I remember any of that? Why don't I remember?"

Andrea moved beside her and grasped her hand. "You were in an accident. The doctors thought you would only temporarily forget, but as time went on, it was evident the missing years weren't coming back. You permanently lost them."

"Oh God."

"I'm so sorry, baby."

"A car accident?" She shook her head. "I—God, I don't remember any of that. I mean, I know the years before are gone, but the hospital? The—the doctors? Alyssa? It's all blank." Tears burned in her eyes. "It's just blank."

"I wouldn't lie to you about this, Iris."

"No, I know that. I just—I just don't remember." Her eyes were wide, and she felt dizzy. Was this all a dream? It's just the food. She took a nap and this was all a bad dream. It had to be. It had to be. This wasn't real. It couldn't be real.

"Who remembers being five years old?"

She rubbed her temple, tears in her eyes. "What—what about my parents? My biological parents? Didn't they care? Didn't they want me?"

"I don't know about that. It was a closed adoption. I couldn't find out anything about them." She smoothed hair down, and Iris leaned into her, trying to process this. "I'm sorry."

"Why did they leave me there?" Her voice broke. "Why didn't they care? They had me for five years, and that was it? They just...left?" How could you have a child in your life for five years and then just dump them off one day? Weren't children supposed to bring joy and light in to lives? How could you carry a baby for nine months and five years just to abandoned them when they need you most? What twisted son of a bitch does that? How cold do you have to be to leave a child all by herself? Had it not been for Alyssa and Mom knowing each other previously...her entire life could have turned out so different.

"There's more."

She lifted her head. "What else is there?"

"I couldn't legally look into them, but...I do know who your father is."

"Oh my God, how? How did you find that out?" She wiped under her eyes. "Who is he?"

"We met him a few years ago, although I didn't know it then. Discovering who he was to you was entirely an accident. Iris, Daryl is your biological father."

She shot out of her seat. "What?!"

"Yes."

"Oh, my God. Oh my God!" She pushed hair out of her face with both hands, backing up. "Oh my God." She hit the wall and gripped her knees, feeling her dinner churning in her stomach. "No. No, no!" She whimpered. "No, you're lying! You're lying about all of this!"

"Why would I lie?"

"I don't know, but stop it! God, just stop!" She was shouting, though it came out strained and her throat was sore already. She could feel tears streaming down her face, and she was shaking. She was shaking from the inside out. "Stop lying." She collapsed, tears falling onto the floor, and she curled up.

Andrea dropped to her knees beside her. "I am so sorry, honey. I know I was wrong to hide this from you. I couldn't—I can't ever lose you. You are everything to me. When I brought you home, it was hard. God, it was so hard. I was so scared. I didn't know how to sooth you, how to make you laugh, how to make you smile. I didn't know your favorite food or color or favorite animal. You didn't either, and that didn't make it any easier."

Iris still sobbed, only half-listening to her.

"I wanted so badly to be a good mom for you, to be everything you would ever need. I was so focused on helping you get by your past that when you calmed down, I didn't want to ruin your progress or our relationship; so I didn't say anything about the accident or try to see if you remembered anything from before. I didn't want...you to remember. I was terrified you would, and I would lose you." She paused to clear her throat. "I knew eventually you would have to know, so I planned to wait until you were eighteen to tell you about the adoption and the car accident, but...then I started to put the pieces together about Daryl."

Her sobs quieted down as she began to listen.

"So I had Shane run a DNA test to see if I was right, and I was. Daryl is your father."

Iris snuffled and lifted her head. "How long have you known?"

Andrea swallowed. "Almost a year. I wanted to keep it to myself, but...it's not fair to you or Daryl."

More tear sprung up in her eyes, but not of sadness. She was angry. "You don't keep secrets from the people you love." She dug her nails into her palms. "You told me that." She spoke through clenched teeth.

"I know. I'm s—"

"I don't give a damn how "sorry" you are!" Her voice broke, but she didn't stop. "You lied to me. You've been lying to me my entire life!" Her eyes widened. "Grandma and Grandpa... Aunt Amy? You all lied to me."

"No, no—"

"Yes! Yes, you all have! You...you're mom, and I trusted you would always tell me everything. I thought you'd always be honest with me. I—I should've known that was a lie. You always lie to me."

"I don't always lie to you."

"Yes, you do. About Phillip, about Shane, about me!" Her voice was small, but loud at the same time. "You had other people lie to me."

"The moment never seemed right. I was...so afraid at the thought of how you'd react. I wanted to wait until you were ready. I never meant to lie to you."

"Oh, and that makes it all better? That makes it okay?"

"All I wanted to do was protect you." She tried to touch her, but Iris jerked away and stood up. "Iris—"

"Don't touch me!" She looked at Andrea for what seemed like forever, thinking back on her entire life, and seeing the lies. She covered her mouth with her hand and ran out of the room.

"Iris." Andrea followed, but Iris had ran out the front door, and she was too fast. "Iris!" She grabbed her keys and went after her.

––

 _No. No, no, no._ Iris was coiled up under the playground of her old elementary school, the cold air blowing at her, and she rocked herself, the air drying her eyes as hot tears rolled down cold cheeks. She was surprised she still had tears. She felt so cold and empty. She didn't know how tears were still managing to fall. Of course they were though. Everything in her life seemed to fall, and tears fell from her eyes.

She choked on a sob and buried her face in her knees, rocking herself even more. She felt that if she stopped rocking herself, she would fall into a million broken pieces. Her entire life had been shattered. She couldn't bear for her body to be shattered too. She just wanted to...something real, and there was nothing real anymore. It was all tainted with lies. So many lies.

She knew her... Andrea wouldn't look here. She could be alone here. She'd been alone here for an hour maybe. She didn't know. She didn't care. She had nowhere else to go. She hated it. She hated how alone she was. If she went to see Sophia, Carol would call her mom, and she'd be stuck in that mess again. If she went to Lizzie's, her parents would call Andrea to see if she could sleep over. If she went to Carl's, well his dad wouldn't let a girl sleep over with him. God, all she wanted to do was call Sophia and sleep over at her place and just forget. Pretend that it would be all right, pretend that maybe tomorrow would be okay, would be better.

She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and realized she had left someone out. Patrick. He was alone too. He was at his house all by himself. They could be alone together. He was probably one of the best people she could turn to. Maybe he knew how to make this...better. Could it get better? She didn't know anymore, but she did know it could always get worse. Much worse, as the day had proven.

– – –

Iris crept across the lawn and found his bedroom window, finding it cracked a bit, and she tapped on the glass. He didn't roll over, and didn't seem to have heard the tap at all, so she knocked, hoping he was alone. She didn't want his aunt to call her mom. She didn't want to go back to that house of lies tonight. He was the only person she could go to now. God, please. She just needed somebody she trusted and who wouldn't turn her in. Please, please.

"Patrick!" she softly called, knocking again. "Wake up!"

He moved slightly.

"Patrick!" She pressed her palms to the cool glass as he rolled over and squinted at her. "Hey."

"Iris?" His voice was groggy, but he stood up and walked over to the window. "What are you doing here?"

"Can you let me in? Please?"

He rubbed his eyes. "I set the security alarm. My parents will know I opened the door at... one in the morning. They'll ask why."

"I really need to talk to you, please let me inside."

He pushed on his glasses. "I didn't say I wasn't going to let you in. My mom's office's window, the screen was pushed out last week. My cousin did it. It's a few windows down. I'll unlock it."

"Great."

They met at the window, he helped her inside then closed and locked it again. They returned to his bedroom, and Iris apologized about waking him up at this hour. Luckily it was going to be Friday tomorrow, and he could function on a few hours of sleep. She would buy him coffee in the morning. Or make him coffee since her wallet was in her purse at home. Shit.

"It's fine. I only just fell asleep." He met her eyes. "Enough about me. What's going on with you? You seem upset."

She searched his concerned brown eyes and just exhaled, shaking her head. She removed her shoes and wondered how she was going to tell him all of this. She'd have to talk about it with Sophia and probably her friends if she even wanted them to know. Probably not. She'd have to hear more on this from Andrea and Daryl, and then she'd have to sit through tales from Daryl about her that she just didn't remember, and possibly bullshit lies from Andrea about her. She was going to have to sit there and listen and talk. She didn't want to do that now, to sit with him while he listened and she talked. No, not now. She just wanted to forget for as long as possible, so fuck them. Fuck the truth and fuck Andrea. She wasn't going to deal with this. She couldn't. There were too many things...wrapped up in this, and the mere thought of just one would send her over the edge. She didn't feel like snoting up his shirt.

She set her knee on the bed, gripping his shoulder, and she straddled his lap, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. She could feel the tears in her eyes, and she held him tighter. She didn't know how to explain this, but she hope he understood and didn't press. She couldn't handle talking about how her entire life was a huge, excruciating lie. She couldn't stand to acknowledge the fact that the woman who raised basically kidnapped her, and she couldn't handle being the reason anyone was in pain. She just couldn't do it.

"I'm sorry I woke you up," she whispered, tears threatening to spill over. "I just didn't know where else I could go."

"Don't worry about that, and I'm glad you came."

"Me too." She buried her face in his shoulder and wiped the tears that fell away, trying to keep it all in. She felt broken inside, like a mirror with three faces that all had shattered so there was nothing whole, no clear image of a face, of the truth. She was beyond betrayed by the one person who was never supposed to do that to her, and even that was a fucking lie. Her mom was just a human lie. No, not her mom. Andrea. Andrea was a human lie. God only knew who her mother was. God and Daryl.

Biting hard on her bottom lip, she forced herself to stop. She couldn't do this right now. She didn't want to bawl like a baby on Patrick's shoulder, and for pity's sake, he had no idea why. She needed to get a grip, and she needed to just calm down. She had cried her eyes out at the playground, and she wasn't going to do that here. There would be plenty of time for tears when Andrea or Daryl found her, and they wouldn't be just hers. She wasn't looking forward to that.

Rubbing her nose against her sleeve, she murmured, "I'll explain everything later. I promise."

"You don't have to."

She lifted her head to look at him. "I want to."

"Then tell me when you're ready, not because you think I should know why you're so upset. It doesn't matter how curious I am, it's matters that you're okay."

She smiled and set her hands on his cheeks. "I love you, Patrick." She wanted to tell him earlier, but they were interrupted. She wanted something real, and he was real. What she felt for him was real, and she wanted him to know that. Whatever happened next, she wanted him to know what they have was real.

"I love you too. I always have."

She kissed him, and for the first time since the dinner with her mom, she felt happy. From all of the bullshit and tears, she was happy. She felt accepted and loved and enough. All these years she'd been struggling to fit an image that was never her, and now she knew why. She wasn't Andrea or Daryl. She was someone...who had seemingly been lost at sea and had found their way to land. Or was still finding their way there. She didn't know what land was, but she would one day. She knew she would.

She was reckless and stupid and honestly a shit person, and even with all of that, she managed to find someone who was there. Not just one, but two people who were honest from the beginning. Sophia and Patrick were the best parts of her life. She was so grateful to have met them both, and she was so happy to have him be with her. He was her best friend, her study buddy, her motivator, her boyfriend and so many other things. He loved her through all of her shit, and he was still here. He listened. He forgave. He understood. He always had.

And he was leaving. All good things must come to an end. That was bullshit. Her entire life just came to an end, along with who she thought she _had to be_ and _who she thought_ was going to have her back. She wasn't a Harrison. She wasn't...his daughter. Honestly, she felt more like a mistake, but to someone people, like Sophia and Patrick, she was...more. It couldn't end like this with Patrick, not with the unnecessary fighting.

She ran her thumb across his lips and kissed him again, moving an arm around his shoulder. She wanted to remember tonight. The entire evening had been a horrible, life wrecking mess, but it had driven her to him. She wanted to remember that no matter bad everything got, there was always something good. Right now, that was him, even if it was just for another two weeks. She wouldn't forget. It seemed that the older she got, the more...challenging it got to trust people, because one day they'd simply turn around and drop a trouble bomb that left you a miserable waste. She wasn't going to let herself become miserable waste, not when there were still people whose bombs had already been revealed and only strengthened you.

She pulled back and rested her head on his shoulder, and he pulled her closer. She closed her eyes and listened to him breathing. She felt safe. She felt warm. She just wanted him to hold her and never let go. She nuzzled her face into his shoulder and laced her fingers through his. She wasn't a fan of silence, but right now it was perfect. It was peaceful. It somehow was keeping her together.

A long moment passed between them, and Patrick whispered, "Do you want something to drink?"

"No, thank you." She traced her index finger along his class ring and gave him an appreciative smile. "I just want to stay with you tonight, if that's all right."

"Yeah, it's all right."

She nodded. "Wait, one quick question: do you snore?"

He chuckled a little. "I don't know if I do."

"I don't know if I snore either."

"I guess we'll find out." He paused. "You know, I've _never_ had a girl in my room after dark before."

"I don't think I've ever been _in_ your room before."

"It's looks better with the lights off."

"Let me be the judge of that." She reached for to turn on the light, he caught her hand, and she smirked. "You have geeky posters all over, don't you?"

"...no!"

"Oh, you so do. I have to see this." She reached for the light again, he distracted her by ticking her, and she squirmed onto the other side of the bed. "Stop!"

"You can see my room in the morning."

"So when I fall asleep, you're going to take all the posters down then?"

"There are no posters!"

She laughed and felt it lightly in her chest. "You're adorable."

"So are you...when you're not being an ass."

"Thank you. I appreciate that." She ran a hand through her hair to sweep it out of her face. "Really, I do."

"Go. To. Sleep."

"Do you have any clothes I can throw on? A shirt or anything?"

"Yeah, hang on."

She rubbed her arms when he got off the bed and wondered what they were all doing right now. Probably looking for her. She just couldn't be near them right now. Sophia was attached to Carol and Daryl and Andrea, so there would be no reaching out to her yet. Maybe in the morning. Or maybe tomorrow afternoon. She didn't know. All she knew was that she needed to think this through without any interruptions and pray it worked out of the best.

She groaned softly. Maybe she could talk about it with Patrick tomorrow. He's always thinking about things, so he might have some random advice for her. Or maybe his aunt. Hell, tomorrow was...already here as it was pushing on two in the morning, but it could wait. It would feel like an different day. Her mind was too tired, so it had to wait. She gazed out his window and pursed her lips together. She didn't what the hell would happen next, so she just hoped it wasn't worse than this.

– – –

"I've looked everywhere." Andrea was taking to Shane on the phone and Carol in person. "I've checked the library, the elementary school, the high school, the park—I can't find her. I need to find her."

"Just calm down. I'll get Rick and couple others guys to help us look," Shane assured her. "I'll call you when I have a lead."

"Okay, thank you." She hung up. "Where else can I look?"

"Patrick's," Sophia suggested.

"I went over there when first she left. He was getting ready for bed, and I checked the house. She wasn't there."

"I'll call Ryan." Carol took her phone. "She could have gone to the Samuels."

"They would've called me."

"She might have snuck in."

"God." Andrea buried her face in her hands.

"I'll call." Sophia took the phone from her mom and dialed.

"It'll be all right. She just needs to think this through and vent."

"You didn't see her face, Carol." She heaved a sigh, sniffing. "I don't know where she is. She doesn't have her phone on her. What the hell am I going to do? How do I find her?"

"If we can't find her, she'll find you."

"She doesn't want to be found, Carol. That's why she ran from me. She can't stand to be in the same house as me. What if she doesn't come back? What am I gonna do?"

"Breathe, for starters." She met her eyes. "We''ll find her. I'll go stop by Patrick's again, if you want."

"No, don't. If she is there then at least she'll be getting some sleep. She trusts Patrick, and I'd rather her be inside a lock house with him than out wondering the streets. In case she's not, I'm going to check block again. Maybe stop by and see her coach." Tara was a sweetheart. She would help look for Iris. She should just call Amy, but she knew if she did, she would have a panic attack telling her about the dinner. With Tara, she didn't have to explain. She simply had to say something about Iris running away out of anger. That would be all it took to get Tara's help. But Amy knew the truth, and Andrea would have to tell her everything. She couldn't rehash that right now.

"Okay. I'll wait for Shane to call by. She'll come back, Andrea."

"I hope so." She paused. "How's Daryl?"

"I have no clue. He won't return my calls, and he hasn't come back into town."

"Well, we know where she gets it." She glanced over at Sophia. "You told her?"

"I had to."

"It's okay. Everybody knows now. Well, almost everybody." She grabbed her keys. "I'll be back soon."

"Yeah."

Andrea left, Carol wrung her hands, and Sophia finished the call with Lizzie. She told her that Iris had no been by, and Carol figured as much, but it was worth a shot. She checked the time and decided it would be best if Sophia went home and got some sleep. Of course that earned her a fight with Sophia.

"Do you really think I can sleep right now? My best friend is missing! Mom, screw school. We have to find her."

"And we will. Just go wait at the house for her. You never know. She may show up there."

"She won't. You two are so close, and Iris knows you'd call Andrea."

"It's worth a shot, Sophia. It's not like we have much to go on, and I would like you to get some sleep."

She huffed. "Fine. I'll get Honey and wait in the car."

"Thank you, Sophia."

"I called Daryl and left a message," she told her mom. "I said it was important and that he needed to come home soon. I hope he gets it." Or at least acknowledge the fact that he's gotten the message. _Asshole, answer the damn phone! That's what it's for!_ He was going to get an earful when he got back.

"So do I." She had no idea where Daryl was. She couldn't even guess. Now that she knew what the problem was, she figured he went to see Alyssa, but Alyssa hadn't seen him. She hadn't been contacted by any of them since Andrea found out who Daryl really was to Iris. He may show up there sooner or later, but for now, they would just have to hound him. He needed to get home. Iris needed to get home. How long would they be drifting alone until they came to their senses?

– – –

Daryl ran his hands through his hair, the night air nipping at him, and he inhaled it deeply. He knew now that this was real. It wasn't a hoax. Ella was alive. He had no idea where she was or who she was with, but she was alive. He needed to find her. He needed to explain what happened. There would be no forgiveness so soon, but he had to try. He had to make her see that he was mislead.

Feeling his phone buzz again, he dug it out and found it was Sophia who had called this time. He needed to call them, but he couldn't. He didn't know how to explain this. He didn't know how they were going to take this. For the last five years, they were his family, and now he was going to add to that family. He didn't know how Carol was going to react to this. She would be supportive, he knew, but how far would that go? And Sophia. She was practically his daughter, how would she respond to Ella? He knew they'd get along, but now he actually had the chance to test that.

Christ, this all felt like a dream. He wasn't happy. He didn't fully believe it yet. He had heard it from two different sources, and yet he hadn't seen or heard his daughter. He wouldn't even know if he had. Her voice would be so different. Her body would be different. She's going to be so tall when he saw her next. Did she keep her hair long, or did she get it cut? Did she wear makeup? Does she still like what she used to? There were so many questions running through his head, and he felt excited as they came to him, but he knew he couldn't ask them to her right away. He had a bond to rebuild, an apology to give, and an explanation that she may not even believe.

This was going to be a challenge. He just needed to find her and see her now. He couldn't wait until that person contacted him again. He couldn't wait until Alyssa returned his calls. He had to find her now. He needed someone to pull some strings and find his kid. There was only one person he knew that could help him, and honestly, he did owe him a favor.

He scratched the back of his head and texted Carol and Sophia both, assuring them he'd be home soon, and that he had to tell them something pretty huge. He needed to find Rick. He could find Ella. Once he had an address, he would find Sophia and Carol, tell them everything over lunch or dinner. He needed them with him when he went to meet her. They were...the only ones who could give him the courage to even knock on the front door.

He received a new message from Merle and cursed. _Fuck!_ He had forgotten that Merle was coming home soon. Shit. He needed to tell him about Ella. He needed to explain what Ruth did, but in a way that didn't make Merle ready to find and go off on her. She was a bitch, but she didn't deserve to even know how they felt about the situation. She was going to be in the dark about Ella for the rest of her miserable life, if Daryl had any say. She was a toxin, one that would not be near him or his daughter again.

He turned his phone off and took a long drink from his coffee. He had a long drive home. He would stop and rest again though, like Iris had basically ordered him to do. He didn't need to get into a car accident himself before he found Ella again.

He climbed into his truck and smiled a little. This was the first time in his entire life that he had something normal, even if the way there certainly was not. He had a girlfriend that he loved, a kid that he loved and had been partly raising with Carol, and now...he had his own daughter back, and soon his brother. A family, a real family. Shit, he never thought that'd happen. He hoped it lasted.


	9. Broken Pieces Of The Same Mirror Pt2

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

"So she just lets you use her kitchen any time?" Iris asked Patrick the next morning, both of them skipping school for the first time. "That's pretty awesome."

"She has so many ingredients, and she can make just about anything. She's teaching me what she knows."

"Could you teach me?"

"I already made us breakfast."

"What...if I stay for dinner?" She leaned against the counter. "We can make something together."

"Shouldn't you call your mom?"

"No. Well, maybe. I'll think about it."

"I could. I might have to go shopping through. Aunt Anna usually brings the ingredients over with her."

"Thanks." She beamed at him. "I'll set the table."

They ate together, Iris listened to what he was saying, knowing that he knew something was off. She would have to tell him. She actually wanted to tell him. They had time. He had skipped school to be with her today. That said a lot. She had to tell him. After breakfast, she'd tell him about Daryl and Andrea. It would be hard to swallow, but he should know how screwed up her past was. Maybe he could help her make sense of it. She really didn't want to make sense of it, but she couldn't just forgot. Memory-erasing car accident didn't fall out of the sky, and there were so many things she didn't want to forget.

They were cleaning up their breakfast mess, Iris had sent Sophia a text to let her know where she was from Patrick's phone, and she asked her to tell her mom so she could relay the message to Andrea. She asked her to do it in the evening, because if she saw her now she might have to hit her with a cast-iron skillet. In a nice way. In a mean way, she'd try and hit her with a car. God, she was so pissed. She could feel it in her chest and when she breathed. Hell, even in the tips of her fingers. How was that even a thing?

"You can find something clean in my mom's clothes. You're about the same size as her."

"Mmm?" Iris looked herself over. "Does your mom ever eat?" She's super skinny, but it couldn't be healthy for a grown woman to be the same size as a teenager.

"She works out after every meal practically."

"Scary."

"Yeah."

"Hey, Patrick?" She paused in the doorway, and he met her eyes. "I need to talk to you. Could we talk after I change?"

"Yeah, of course."

She found his parents' bedroom and entered the closet that smelled like moth balls. God, were they ever home? Patrick might as well live here by himself. Without Anna and her, he would be alone all the time. Why have kids if you're just going to leave them? What the hell is wrong with people? What they do and what...he did was hardly different. They don't really ever return from their business trips, and he didn't return at all, not until years later because of what? Chance? Fate? Maybe because he was just looking for...

No. No, she could and would be pissed at Daryl until she heard his side of the story, but she couldn't and wouldn't drag Carol down. She was a good woman, and she didn't deserve any ire Iris threw her way. She didn't even know the truth. Well, she probably did now, but not before. She wasn't involved anyway. All Carol would do if she were here right now would be to hear Iris out and try to get her to work through her angry. Carol would listen to her for hours on end just to make Iris feel better. Why couldn't Carol have been her mom? God, Sophia was so lucky.

She sank down onto a shelf in the closet and buried her face in her hands, the emotions she had locked away last night creeping over her. She didn't want to break down and cry like a baby again. She wanted to get this sorted without dealing with them. She didn't want to meet Daryl. She didn't want to see Andrea ever again. She didn't want to hurt anybody. God.

Patrick got worried when Iris didn't return, and he went to find her. He found her rocking herself on the floor in his parents' closet, and he comforted her. "Hey, hey, it's okay."

"No, it's not." She shook her head.

"Okay then it's not. Why isn't it? What happened yesterday?"

She sucked in a shaky breath and lifted her head. "I'm adopted. And...Daryl is my biological father."

"Oh...well...shit." He sat beside her. "Tell me everything."

She wiped her eyes and began with dinner.

– – –

Sophia sat on the couch, legs upraised, and she stared at the message Iris had sent her. She sighed and deleted it then rose and headed into the kitchen to make more coffee. She was going to tell Andrea right now. Andrea was in bad shape. She hadn't slept. She drank coffee like it was water, and pretty soon she'd just eat the grounds. Iris was in pain, but so were Andrea and Daryl. She needed to just...come home and talk it out. Or scream or cry or something! Anything but what she was doing right now, because the not knowing was killing them all. _Damn the Dixons_ , was all Sophia could think. _Come the hell home!_

"What do you want for breakfast?" Carol asked. "Pancakes? Waffles? Eggs? A Pop-tart?"

"I was gonna make some pancakes. You guys are pretty busy, so I can make them."

"No, I need to keep myself busy." She pulled out the ingredients for pancakes. "I called Karen last night. She's waiting on the edge of her seat to find out what happens next."

"Oh, God."

"Yeah. I'm gonna put chocolates chips in these, okay?"

"Sounds great." She smiled for her mom. "So, how's Daryl? Did you get a message too?"

"Uhh, yeah. I did."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just tired and stressed out. I wish he and Iris would come home. At least Iris could be with Patrick. Where the hell is Daryl?"

"He'll be home soon, I bet. He's probably on his way now." She smiled optimistically.

"He's with Rick." Andrea entered the room. "Shane just called. Daryl's trying to find Ella through Rick."

"I'll go down to the station," Carol said. "I'll bring him over."

"No, no. I want to wait until Iris is home. If we tell him, I want Iris here."

 _"If_ we tell him?" Carol asked.

" _When_ I tell him." She rubbed her eye. "It'll be best if it's just him and me and Iris. I'm going to head over to Patrick's."

"Like hell you are!" Sophia blurted. "You haven't slept at all! You're barely speaking correctly, and you can hardly stand. You're going to sleep. You need to sleep."

"Ir—Sophia please—"

"Exactly." Sophia snatched her keys. "Mom."

"She's right. You need to take a nap." She crossed her arms.

"I am not tired."

"You just drank decaf and couldn't tell the difference."

"I need to find my daughter, so both of you should just get out of my house."

"It's our house," Carol reminded her. "You stayed over with us."

"Then I'll leave."

"Not a chance." Sophia gently grabbed her arm. "C'mon, just an hour nap."

Andrea gave up and let Sophia led her upstairs to Carol's bed, and she rolled onto her side. She needed to sleep, but her mind was too awake. She couldn't get that image of Iris out of her mind. The second before she ran out of the room—it was all she could see. She had never seen Iris look like that: so betrayed, so alone and...scared. She didn't know how she was ever going to repair this. She might not be able to. She may want to go live with Daryl and be with him until her eighteenth birthday. She may never want to see Andrea again, and the thought of that was killing Andrea.

Sophia closed the door behind and sighed, hoping she got some sleep. She joined her mom and told her where Iris was.

"Iris is fine for now, Andrea will be getting some sleep, so let's go get Daryl."

"How do you know she'll be sleeping?"

"I drugged her coffee."

"Oh my God, Mom."

"What? She needed sleep."

"I know, but damn." Carol smiled. "Okay, I'm fine. Yeah, let's go get Daryl."

"Honey, watch Andrea," Carol called before leaving, and Honey planted herself in front of Carol's bedroom door.

––

Daryl was outside the station, almost like he was waiting for them, and Sophia went to him first, letting her mom find a place to park. He looked pretty worn out himself, and he smelled like coffee and beer or something. She wasn't sure. She remembered the smell from her dad. Gross.

"Hey." She nudged his shoulder, hands in her hoodie pocket.

"Hey." He sounded more awake than he looked. "Shane called?"

"Yeah." She crossed her legs. "You look rough. What happened?"

"I hada sleep in my truck, and..." he stopped to laugh, "I ran outta gas."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, seriously."

She laughed. "You have a strange kind of luck."

"Not sure I would call it that."

"I would." She freed one hand and took his. "C'mon, let's go home."

"Wait, I gotta talk to Rick—"

"No, you need to come with us, shower and put on some clean clothes." She stood up. "We need to talk to you. It's about Ella."

"You—you know? Where she is, I mean?"

"Come on. You need to get cleaned up before you see your daughter."

"Did you see her?" He stood up. "Did she come by the house?"

"No more questions."

"Sophia, I've been in the dark for eleven years, all I got are questions."

"She's waiting for you, that's all I can say."

They walked to the car, Daryl sat in the backseat and Sophia gave her mom a small smile to answer the question she hadn't spoken, and they headed to Daryl's house. They would keep him there until Andrea woke up. They needed to speak before they brought in Iris. The last thing Iris needed was to listen to them scream and fight over her.

At Daryl's house, he showered. Carol and Sophia cleaned up their mess from the other night, and Carol curled up on the couch for a short nap. Daryl was going to be in the shower for a long time from the look of it. Sophia paced the length of the couch, sending a text to Iris about meeting up, and she eventually sat down on the counter, like when she was ten and ran here for help. That was honestly a simpler time.

An hour later, Daryl came out of the bathroom, and Sophia had taken over the counter tops, listening to music, and he narrowed his eyes at her. She pointed to the couch, and he saw Carol passed out. He smiled a little, covered her with the blanket from the closet and headed back to his room, drying his hair. He needed to find something to wear and then he wanted to find something of hers to give her. That would take a while. He didn't know what she would like to see. He had a million little things that she might not even remember. He would bring the one she liked most—if he could find it.

– – –

"Am I being selfish right now?" Iris whispered, half-sure she wanted an answer.

"No. Not at all."

"I feel like shit." She picked at her thumbnail. "I mean, Mom's most likely freaking out right now. She can guess I'm with you, but honestly she has no clue. And she's probably thinking about what I'm going through right now and..." Her opened her mouth to continue, but no words came out. She couldn't speak the things she must be doing to her mom, no matter how angry she was at her. "And Daryl? Christ, I can't even think about him."

"It'll be fine, Iris. He'll be happy to know who you really are. I've met Daryl. He's a pretty good guy."

"Yeah, well now you're gonna have to deal with him as my dad." She blew out a sigh, shaking her head and almost laughing to mask what she was feeling inside, because how in the fuck did she express this? Honestly, there seemed to be no proper way. "I have been causing him immense, _immense_ pain since I was six, Patrick. I—I didn't mean to, and it wasn't really even me, but I have been hurting him so much for years. How can I feel so guilty when it wasn't my fault? He—he's..." She dropped off, tears threatening her eyes, and she rubbed her upper arms.

"Iris, all you can do to feel better is to talk to them—both of them. You'll get answers, closure."

"Not sure I want either." She met his eyes. "I just want...everything to go back to how it was. I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask for her to tell me this, or for him to...to..."

He grasped her hand and held it in both of his. "You need to stop, okay? None of this is your fault. None of it."

"His pain is my fault. Mom's...pain is my fault. You can—can say it's not, but it is. I know it is. I can feel it...like a weigh on my chest."

"Don't you get it, Iris? You are the entire reason they're alive right now. Who knows what Daryl was doing before you came into his life. I mean, my dad's heard some stories and warned me endlessly that I could end up like him, so it clearly wasn't healthy. You put him on a better path. You—you made him straighten up his life. That wasn't an easy task, Iris." She brushed a hand under her nose, but he could tell she was listening, taking his words in. "And Andrea? She would be an unhappy, empty workaholic who may keep a flask in her filing cabinets. You see her now, and you can just tell she was a _million_ _times_ _worse_ before you came along. You brought so much into their lives. Think on that and not the pain you have no control over."

"What are you, a therapist?" she teased.

"If I was, you'd have made me rich."

She laughed a little. "Asshole."

"I try."

She wiped the last tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry to dump this all on you."

"I'm your boyfriend. I'm glad you told me, that you trust me enough to tell me."

"Of course I trust you, Patrick. You're the only person...I fully trust right now. Well, you and Sophia, of course." She sniffled. "I'm gonna wash my face and change, but could we go on a walk? Talk about this more? I need some fresh air, some sunlight."

"Sure. I'll go change too." He kissed her forehead and left the room.

"Hang on." She climbed to her feet and caught him in the hall. "I love you, Patrick."

He smiled. "I love you too."

She smiled and slipped back into the closet to find something clean. She waited and let out a small squeal, so happy and all fluttery. It made no sense given her current family situation, but she wasn't going to let that stop her from feeling this way. It might be temporary, but it made today a little brighter. If she had a diary, this would litter page after page. She had Sophia, so she would tell her about it.

As she went through the clothes, discovering that Patrick's mom had a thing for fancy designer clothes. She didn't like most of them, but eventually, after going through many names, she found a really cute romper. It looked like a schoolgirl uniform, only for adults. It was new, and Patrick's parents didn't seem like the type to have sex—ever—so she wasn't worried that it might have been used for something weird. Seriously, though, how in the hell did they have Patrick? One drunken night many years before Satan sucked out their souls? Probably how it happened.

She changed in to it, noting that she and Patrick's mom did no wear the same size shoe. She would have to put her shoes back on. She brushed out her hair and borrowed some of her mom's unused hairpins then left. She hoped his mom didn't mind. She didn't use any perfume though. Patrick's mom had a thing for perfume. She could run a store with how many Iris had seen in there. Geez.

"I feel ridiculous, but I look pretty cute," Iris mused, entering his bedroom.

He laughed. "It's a good look."

"How much am I wearing right now? Two hundred? Three?"

"I think just a hundred and something, but I don't know."

"Good, because now I know I _can_ pay her back if I spill anything on it or rip it."

"It looks good on you."

"Thank you."

"Ready to go on a walk?"

"Yeah." She put her shoes on. "Where to?"

"Let's get some coffee. We can walk after."

"All right." She doubted her mom would be out for coffee right now. "So...I'm staying for dinner. Could I stay over again? We can go to school the next morning. I promise."

"You have to go home at some point."

"I know I will. That point doesn't have to be now."

"One more night."

"Thank you." She hugged him. "I'm so glad you're in my life. Without you and Sophia..."

"We're here for you, Iris. And Sophia will be with you when...when I move."

She held him tighter. "Yeah." Maybe when she saw Andrea and Daryl again, she wouldn't walk away feeling so betrayed. Maybe.

– – –

"Why are we goin' to Andrea's?" Daryl asked.

"We need to check on her." Carol looked at him in the rear view mirror. "She's not doing so well today, and Iris may have run away."

"What? Why? What the hell did she say to the kid now?"

"You'll see. She's been going on about it for hours."

He felt bad for Iris. Andrea was a good mom. She just didn't say things correctly. If she could just say what she wanted to say without trying to sound like she knew what was best, Iris would listen. Hell, Iris needed to learn how to speak and not yell and just expect everyone to just know what she was feeling. Maybe he was reading it wrong. He wasn't in their lives. He wasn't a close friend of theirs. He should keep his nose out of it. The last time he didn't, Andrea went off on him, and he didn't need her anger at the moment.

They arrived at Andrea's as she stepped out of the bathroom. She had cleaned herself up, and she looked a lot better. She paled at the sight of Daryl, but he didn't come at her aggressively, and there were no furious vibes seeping out of him, so he didn't know yet. Good. Thank God. She wasn't ready for this, but she had to be. Although, honestly who the hell would be ready for this?

"Could you give us a minute? Actually, an hour. Or two."

"Yep." Sophia nodded. "We'll go pick up some dinner and some drinks, maybe catch the Cliff notes version of the Titanic. Who knows? Let's go."

"We'll check in on you two later." Carol gave Daryl's arm a comforting squeeze before she and Sophia left.

"Where the hell are they goin'?"

"Dinner and a movie from the look of it." Andrea met his eyes and just went for it before he asked any more questions. "I'm the one who called you about your daughter."

"What?"

"Well, I didn't speak during the call. My sister Amy was the one on the phone. I knew you'd recognize my voice and hunt me down, and I just needed time to...arrange things."

"You—know where my daughter is? How do you know where my daughter is? How do you even know about her?" He knew Carol wouldn't have told her, and the rest made no sense. She wouldn't look for a child that wasn't hers. She certainly wouldn't look for _his_ child. What the hell was going on?

"Yes, I do, but...there are some... Well, a lot has changed, Daryl."

"Where is she? How the hell did you find her? Why were you looking?"

"I wasn't looking. Trust me. I thought I was adopting an abandoned child."

"Ad—You were the one who adopted Ella?" The space between them vanish as Daryl got into her face, but not entirely threatening. It was mostly...anticipation, which was fully understandable.

"I did, though...her name is Iris now."

"Iris?" It was easy to deduce, as she only had one child, one little girl. "Iris is...my Ella?"

"Yes."

"That—that don't make sense. We met five years ago—at the housewarming party. She didn't know me, and I—I didn't know her. I would have known if it were Ella. I would have known."

"Not if she spent five years living a completely different life." Daryl fell back onto the couch, and Andrea just kept talking. "Her personally, her interests, her...well, everything changed. You and I are entirely different people, and we both gave her two extremely opposite childhoods."

"I know she was young...at the time of the accident, but... How did she forget me? Completely?"

"It wasn't because of age." She rubbed her forearm. "The accident...the head trauma...wiped all of Ella's memories."

"So...the first six years of her life are just...gone?"

"Yeah."

There was a long silence as Daryl processed this, and Andrea was surprised at how well this was going so far. She didn't know how he would take it, but she was glad to see it was...mature. Well, not mature so much as not violent and filled with yelling and fingers pointed in faces. She wondered how long it would last. With news like this, angry would be reached easily. Anger was always simmering in a Dixon. That's actually what Alyssa said. Andrea didn't understand it at the time, but she did now.

"Almost all this time...she's been right beside me," he muttered.

"Yeah."

His head swept up. "And how long did you know about her? About her bein' my daughter?"

"Not very long."

"How long is "not very long"?" He was on his feet now.

"Since Iris turned sixteen. A few days after that, I—I had some suspicions, so I asked Shane to get one of his lab buddy's to run a DNA test. It came back positive. You and Iris are...father and daughter."

"Y—you knew a few days after she turned sixteen?"

"It's only been a few mont—"

"A few months? A few months?" The veins in his neck were showing, his fingers curling inward, nails biting in to flesh. "Do you know how long a few months are, Andrea? From my point of view, those were goddamn years! You kept this from me for months when I have been trying to cope with my daughter's death for the past eleven years! You can't just scoff those months away! Those months were months I could have spent with her! Months I could have—we could have—"

"You think I didn't know that?" Andrea snapped back. "She was your daughter! I get that! But she's my daughter too, Daryl! I—What this information would do to our relationship... I couldn't risk it. It was selfish, I know, but you didn't look into her eyes that day in the hospital and see how lost she was. You have no idea how—how difficult it was to see that look in her eyes again, and know that _I_ was who put it there! My own daughter looked at me like I was complete stranger!"

"'She _was_ my daughter'? 'Your own daughter'?" He snarled. "Just because you kidnapped—"

" _Kidnapped_?" Her jaw set. "Oh, please!"

He ignored her, his gaze on her intense. "—her doesn't make her yours. She's _my_ kid! You weren't the one changin' her diapers! You weren't the one readin' her bedtime stories, or helpin' her learn to talk or walk or read!" He was raging, chest rising and falling rapidly as his breathing increased, and he kept thinking about the last five years.

"I _was_ there!" Andrea hissed, mirroring him unconsciously, getting in his face. "I was there through all of the rest! Do you have any idea how hard she was on herself? She hated not remembering her past! She hated not knowing who her father was! She would spend hours trying to remember the past. For months, I struggled to make her feel at home. I tried to make her see that it would be all right, that it wouldn't be the end of the world if she didn't remember, but she was determined. It took taking her to my parents and my sister to get her to stop trying to remember. And even then I saw her writing about the memories she'd lost or asking me questions about the past."

He tried to interrupt her, but she kept going.

"You left her all alone in the hospital, and you have the nerve to go on off me?! You lost your daughter because you're a selfish son of a bitch! And I am glad that you left her, because she is one of the best things in my life! And if I had the chance to go back, I would do it all the same! She—she gave me purpose. She...fulfilled my biggest dreams and so much more, so go ahead and go off on me about _your_ pain and regret. _You_ left, and y _ou_ didn't try to find her so fuck you, Daryl Dixon." She was breathless, shaking her head in disgust, stepping back. "You caused me to lose the only child I will ever have, so just...fuck you." She walked out of the room to regain herself.

Daryl scoffed out a breathe then headed toward the door. "Just so you know, she was _never_ yours to lose, and maybe now you can understand how I've felt for the last _eleven_ years." He left, the door ajar behind him.

––

"Hello?" Sophia answered the phone, helping herself to her second chocolate chip granola bar while not at all studying. When was she going to need use anatomy or math or...the English language?

 _"Hey."_

"Hey, Iris, hey. How—how are you?"

 _"Fine. Well, that's a bit much, isn't it?_ "

"Just a little."

" _I'm better than I was last night_."

"That's good to know."

" _Hey, have you told my—erm, Andrea where I am?_ "

"Not yet."

" _Great, don't just yet. I just...need another night to clear my head._ " She paced the living room. " _It's a lot to take in, and Patrick's been so great. I—I need to see them, but I'm scared to see them again, you know? My entire mental settings for them have been screwed up, and I don't know what I'll say or even do right now. I don't want to hurt them any more than I already have, so I'm going to take another night. I think...I think that's fair for all of us. What's two nights compared to...ten, eleven years?_ "

"I get it. I won't say a word until tomorrow."

" _Thanks. You're the best_." She plopped down on the couch. " _I wish I could have gone to both you and Patrick. Geez, why couldn't you two be related? Don't answer that_." She laughed a little to herself. " _Gosh, I—I have so much I want to tell you that I can't say over the phone, and it sucks because the second I see you next...I'll be...swept back into the Harrison-Dixon mess_."

"Yeah, it's too bad you could stay with me. It would've been fun. Hiding from my mom, sneaking snacks up, trying to fit you into my clothes. Can you imagine that?" They shared a laugh, and Sophia's teeth grazed her bottom lip. "How is he treating you?"

" _Great. He's being a gentlemen, very sweet. He—he's going to let me help make dinner. Kinda scary, but also nice. I've only ever cooked with...Andrea and Penny_." She crossed her legs. " _Umm, how are you? How's...Carol?"_

"With...Andrea. She called when we were grabbing dinner, and I can't be around all of that right now. I hate this fighting. It's breaking my heart, but I understand it. I just hope this gets resolved soon. No pressure."

" _Trust me, I feel a hell of a lot of pressure. It's—it's killing me too, and I'll—do something." She rubbed the back of her neck. "I'll...call you back. Or see you tomorrow at school, okay_?"

"Do you promise?" Sophia teased.

" _Cross my heart_." Iris meant that.

"Enjoy pizza since your dinner will be a mess."

" _Oh, screw you. I was going to bring you leftovers, but forget that_."

She giggled. "I gotta go. See you soon."

" _See you soon_." She hung up and set the phone down.

"I'm just about to start dinner."

"Great. I just finished with Sophia." She met him by the door. "Tomorrow, I will be going home to talk to everybody."

"I think that's a good idea."

"Sure you just don't want rid of me?"

"Very sure." He smiled. "C'mon, if this fails, I need time to prepare a backup."

"You'll regret that."

"I bet I will—you're cooking."

"You and Sophia might as well be related. You're both are assholes." He laughed, and she smiled at him. "Let's just cook."

– – –

Daryl sat on his front porch in the dark, his legs to his chest as he stared out at the vast blackness before and felt like it was closing in on him. He felt lightheaded and ill, his stomach a knot that was still twisting in to many more. He didn't know what to think anymore. He felt as though he were living in a dream. Or rather a nightmare. He didn't know which to be honest.

His daughter was alive and well. She was sixteen years old. She was doing amazingly well in high school. She has a boyfriend. She was in track. She'll be driving soon. Carol had been talking about teaching the girls how to drive. He had been concerned for Sophia, being on the road for the first time, and now he had Ella to worry about. Iris. Her name...was Iris. Christ.

He had his daughter in his life for five years, and he didn't even know it. He didn't see anything of Ella in Iris. He just saw bits of Andrea. She was Andrea's little girl, Sophia's best friend and a kid he looked after with Carol. Every single memory of he had of Iris, he just saw Iris. He _still_ couldn't see Ella. He didn't him in there, or even Celia. She was Iris Harrison. There was no Ella Dixon in her whatsoever. Whatever Andrea thought she saw in Iris that was similar to him in any way was wrong, because there wasn't a trace of him in Iris.

Shit, maybe Andra should have just told him first. He should have been told first and they should have decided together if Iris was going to be told at all. From the look of it, it was better before. He had made peace with what happened, and he had Carol and Sophia. He had a family, and it wasn't complicated. It wasn't filled with pain, but now it was, and it was destroying him. It would have been better—easier—if Andrea had let him decide if they told Iris. He would have said no and everything would stay the same. He wouldn't feel like this, Andrea wouldn't feel like this and Iris... Damn it, Iris. What that girl, his girl, must be going through right now. He couldn't imagine. If he could have protected her from this, he would have. But not telling her truth wasn't protecting her; it was protecting him and Andrea.

They both had made mistakes with her. Massive fucking mistakes, and those couldn't be swept under a rug, because it was simple that way. He did abandoned Ella that day. He didn't try and confirm what Ruth told him. He didn't try to see her or her body or anything. He just broke down and left. He didn't try for the first time in his goddamn life, and she paid for that. He wouldn't forgive himself for that. He couldn't. He knew she had a good life, but now because of that good life, she was hurting—for herself, for them. Iris and Ella had that in common. They felt for the ones closest to them. Always had. He loved and hated that. Baby girl just needed to stop trying to take on all their pain, because it was not her fault. It was and never would be her fault. If he could tell her that right now, by God he would. He would hunt her down and make sure she knew that, but now wasn't the time. She needed to make sense of this, just like he needed to and Andrea needed to.

As for Andrea, her mistake was keeping this from Iris and from Daryl. She should have told them the moment she got suspicious. He knew it would be hard to break it to Iris. He couldn't imagine how that felt, looking into her eyes and telling her that her DNA belonged to someone else; someone who had been in her life for years, someone who could fill the space she'd always wanted filled. The way Andrea had looked when they were fighting, he could see how much it saddened her to tell Iris the truth. Was that word even strong enough to describe the look in her eyes? No. It wasn't. There were no words powerful enough to describe the look in her eyes. He hated telling Ella things that would hurt her, so he avoided it all costs, but Andrea couldn't. She jumped off a bridge, for him. She confessed to the adoption and everything so that Iris could have a chance to know him and grow up with her father in her life.

He lifted his head and hit it twice lightly on the wood. He might not be happy with Andrea right now, but she did what she did for him, and he would eventually be able to respect her for that. Honestly, what she did took guts. Guts he didn't know she had. She was damn tough, but this was an entirely different level of tough. It would take a hell of a lot, and there wasn't anything to gain. She may have just lost Iris. Her trust, her respect and—hopefully not—but perhaps even her love one day. Jesus, it was just like him losing her that day. It was the same damn thing, because everything that happened before was forever changed. All of the memories, all of the pictures and scribbled drawing she had as a child had changed.

He ran his hands over his face and rubbed his eyes. He wanted to be angry. He wanted to just go back and yell at Andrea and pretend that what she did was never going to be okay, but it wasn't that simple. Life was never so clear cut. If he wanted to be pissed about the bad, he had to acknowledge the good too. Andrea was a damn good mom. He knew it. He'd seen it the last five years. She worked her ass off to give Iris the best, and in turn Iris worked her ass off in school for scholarships to give her mom a chance to rest. They had a great relationship, and he hoped it came back from this. Honestly, for all he knew, Iris hated him just as much right now. Possibly even more, so if she was going to turn to somebody, he'd rather it be Andrea than nobody. She couldn't go through this alone. She shouldn't have to.

Iris Elena Harrison. So many times he'd heard Andrea call her that right before she got reprimanded or complimented—luckily, they had a tone that told them which was coming. Ella Grace Dixon. One girl who had lived two lives and now was caught in between them. Her mind must be reeling, her heart aching, and that was like a knife in his chest. He couldn't do anything to sooth her. He was just the man who left her at a hospital and seemingly replaced her with Carol and Sophia. It wasn't like that, but how was he going to explain any of this to her? He'd have to bring in Ruth, and she might want to meet her, and he couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let them meet. Ruth would poison her mind, and he had to keep her away from Ruth. It was all he could do at this point. He was just a shadow in her life unless she wanted more, and he didn't know her well enough to say. He'd find out. It was impossible to avoid Iris when she was the best friend of his girlfriend's daughter.

Inhaling the night air, he pushed himself up off the porch and headed into the woods for a walk. He wanted to clear his head, but that wasn't possible. A long walk would wear him out and he would be able to sleep. During the walk he would think out everything and have it over with. He wasn't sure when he would see Iris again, but when he did, he was going to make sure she knew she didn't have to recognize him as his father if she didn't want to. She didn't have to acknowledge him at all. It was her decision. She'd have enough of her choices taken away, and he wasn't going to take anymore. There would be nothing left if he did.

– – –

"Do you think your mom will mind if I take this outfit home with me?" Iris joked, pulling her hair out of the back of his t-shirt.

"I doubt she'll even notice."

"I was kidding. It's cute, but not my style." She sat down and pulled her legs in. "Thank you, Patrick."

"For what?" He dropped beside her.

"For letting me stay over two nights in a row." She smiled at him. "It means everything to me."

"I'm here for you, Iris."

"I know." She clasped his hand. "Me too."

He searched her eyes then leaned over and kissed her, she set a hand on his cheek, and he reached over and set a hand on her hip, causing her to giggle, and he pulled back. "What?"

"You're so tentative." She was still smiling. "We've known each other for years, and you're my boyfriend, it's okay to touch me."

"I just...didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable."

She looked at him through her eyelashes. "You couldn't."

He smiled a little, blushing, and there was something there between them. It wasn't like it always was—well it was, but at the same time wasn't. She wanted to kiss him and was about to move toward him when he took off his glasses and said, "We should get to sleep. We have school tomorrow."

"Right, yeah." She turned the light off beside her and slipped under the covers, burying her face in a pillow, feeling the heat on her cheeks, and she didn't know why she was blushing. It wasn't that bad. It'd happened before, only at a meet and she ended up kissing his neck. It was gross, but funny. Why wasn't this funny? She just felt like she had walked into the gym during a pep rally completely naked. Jesus, what the heck was that?

Patrick shifted behind her, and she was suddenly very conscious how close he was to her. She could feel his arm a few inches from her back, and she realized now that she was only in a t-shirt. It always seemed a lot less awkward on TV. Geez. She could wear a swimsuit in front of him but not this? How did that make sense?

She rolled over to face him, and he seemed to hold his breath. "What just happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean." She pressed her lips together. "Something just happened."

"I know."

"It's familiar," she whispered. "Like that time at the lake with everybody." The parents were setting up the tents, Sophia and Lizzie were locating firewood and Carl and Noah were unloading the cars. It was supposed to be a nice trip with just friends, but they weren't allowed to go alone so Carol, Andrea, Rick and Lori came with as chaperons. Patrick and Iris were trying to find a good place to sneak off while also looking for firewood. They found a good place and this happened, only Andrea and Carol were calling them. Not this time though.

"The only difference is we're alone this time." He ran his eyes over her face. "Completely alone."

"Nothing has to happen." She was still whispering. "We can just go to sleep and pretend it's not there."

"But it is."

"I thought you were supposed to be rational one."

"I am."

"Then why are you looking at me like that?"

The entire conversation, they had been moving closer and closer to each other, and once Iris asked her question, Patrick kissed her, his arms around her waist and she wasn't laughing this time. Her heart was racing in her chest, and she weaved her fingers through his soft hair. She could feel his hands under her shirt, just on her lower stomach, and she broke the kiss to meet his eyes.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Only if you are."

She smiled. "Yeah. I love you."

He returned her smile. "I love you too."

– – –

"Can I please stay home?" Sophia asked over breakfast. "I am so unprepared for school, and I think I'm coming down with something."

"Uh-huh." Carol prepared her lunch.

"I am. It'll soon be highly contagious. I can feel it in my bones."

"Oh, in your bones?" Carol turned to her. "Did your bones also ignore their upcoming tests?"

"Yep."

"You're going to school today. I have to work, and I already am worried about Daryl. I don't need to worry about your grades too."

"But that's like asking me to fail and get bad grades. Doesn't make sense." She picked up her empty cereal bowl and put it in the dishwasher. "Please, Mom? I won't ask again for the rest of the year. I just need to study for these tests, and I'll actually study. I'll go to work with you and study if you want."

She sighed. "One more day, but that's it. You'd better get nineties or one hundreds on those tests, young lady."

"I can't promise for anatomy, but I can for the others." She hugged her. "And don't worry about Daryl. It'll be sorted soon. I have faith."

She exhaled. "I hope so."

Sophia released her. "I'll make dinner tonight and invite Daryl over. It'll be just the three of us. It'll be great."

She smiled. "That'd be lovely. Thank you."

"Happy to help. I'm gonna go study."

"All right. I'm going to work."

"I'll see you tonight."

"Sophia?"

She paused in the doorway. "Yeah?"

"When you're done studying, give Honey a bath."

She made a face. "All right."

"Goodbye."

"Have a good day!" She glanced at Honey, already dreading bathing her and headed up to her room to make flashcards from her notes. At least tomorrow was a weekend and she could cram on Sunday. Iris could come over, and they could study together. They'd both missed the same amount of school, so it'd be fun. They could have a sleepover if it weren't for the drama. Maybe they still could.

Outside in her car, Carol counted the days until Sophia's birthday and sighed. It was coming soon. She needed to get everything in order. She could do a few more things here and there when she wasn't too busy with work. Sophia likely forgot about the party, because of all this, but they were still having it. She just hoped Daryl, Iris and Andrea would be in the same room together. If they couldn't, she didn't know what to do.

Wait, wait. Daryl wasn't coming. He had business with Merle. So that meant only Andrea and Iris were the only risk. They would find a way to work through this. They'd been through...a lot, nothing as bad as this, but they would make up. If they didn't, Carol might die from all of this stress.

––

Iris curled closer to Patrick, his lips pressed to her forehead, and she never felt safer. She knew the day where she came to him for support and comfort but found only a sold house was rapidly approaching, but for now she just wanted to be with him. He was the only person she wanted to be with. Their time was limited, so she wanted to make the best out of it.

They fell asleep wrapped up in each other, and they slept undisturbed. It was easier for Iris to sleep with other people. She could drift off easier curled up with Patrick or hogging Sophia's bed with Sophia pushing at her and tugging the blankets beside her. Heck, even with Lizzie, who was the _major_ bed hog and often kicked Iris onto the floor. She trusted them all, felt safe with them, and sleep just came so easy. It was like she was a baby and they were a snug blanket, a toy and a soft lullaby. They were her safety net since the last one she had was burned away.

The sunlight was blocked by the curtains in Patrick's room, and the alarm clock hadn't gone off, but still Iris woke up. Something woke her up, and her head snapped to the side to see who was in the room with them, and she sat up, covering herself even more with the sheet, and the movement woke Patrick. He ignored it and tried to fall back asleep.

Andrea was sitting by the doorway, legs crossed, just watching them.

"Jesus Christ!" Iris exclaimed. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same." She unfolded her arms and held Iris's lacy, teal bra between two fingers.

Iris wouldn't blush. There was nothing to be ashamed of. What happened between the two of them wasn't anything she was ashamed of. She loved him, and he loved her, and nothing Mom did or said would make her feel bad or gross or anything but angry. "Get out."

Patrick tensed at the sound of Andrea's voice, and he felt like he might have been sweating when he managed to focus his vision and actually saw Andrea sitting in a chair by the door. His heart was racing.

"Your aunt's making breakfast," Andrea said to Patrick. "We'll be joining you. I hear she makes great crepes."

"She does." He didn't know what else to say. What was anybody supposed to say in this situation? Did this even happen to other people?

" _We_ are not staying for anything," Iris corrected. " _You're_ leaving."

"No, I'm not." She stood up. "But you two are going to get dressed and eat breakfast. You have five minutes, and I'll be waiting on the other side of the door for you."

Iris glared as her mom left the room, and Patrick put his glasses on. There was little else that could happen to make this morning any more worse. They got out of bed, Iris locked the door and gave Patrick an apologetic look as they found their clothes. This would get back to his parents. They would come home and make sure Iris never saw him until they left, and even then it would be under extreme supervision.

"I'm sorry." Iris was fully dress, just trying to fix her belt with her hair falling in her face. She didn't have a hair tie with her, so she just pushed hair out of her face and behind her ears. "I didn't—I thought she'd be with Shane."

He buttoned his pants. "It's okay."

"No, it's not." She met his eyes. "I know your parents, and it's not okay. I didn't mean to get you into any trouble."

"You didn't get me into trouble," he correct, closing the space between them. "We were both in that bed, Iris, and...I don't care what they'll say."

"Yes, you do." She could feel the tears in her eyes. "They'll come and move you down there tomorrow, and...I don't want that." She embraced him. "I don't want you to leave at all."

"I know. I don't want to leave either."

"I love you. I love you so much." She buried her face in his shoulder, her tears falling from her cheeks to the skin of his shoulder.

He couldn't promise anything, so he just went with the only thing he knew. "I love you," he whispered.

Andrea sighed soundlessly, pushing off the wall by the door, and she walked away, going to the kitchen. She helped Anna with the fruit for the crepes, and she made conversation just to be polite. Eventually Iris and Patrick joined them, Iris wouldn't look at her, and Patrick just set the table for the four of them.

"How'd you sleep?" Anna asked her nephew.

"Fine." He smiled a little for her, pushing blueberries with his fork.

Iris rubbed the back of her neck and drank more orange juice.

"I'm glad you could join us for breakfast. Patrick doesn't get company often."

Iris and Patrick's gazes met, and they realized only Andrea knew they had just spent the night together. Iris looked at her mom who causally drank coffee and ate her breakfast, making conversation about how she was happy to keep him company and how good the food was, and Iris wasn't sure how to feel. Or how to even react. What the hell was going on here? Was she dreaming?

"You should eat, Iris." Andrea caught her staring. "You're being rude."

"I've...just never had a crepe before. I'm weird with new food." She sat up. "Patrick tells me you're a professional chef. Um, what's that like?" She began to eat, not wanting her mom to spill the beans about her and Patrick.

"I own my own restaurant."

"Oh, cool."

"My boyfriend Sam and I bought it together a few years ago. Sam did the decorating, and Patrick did the menus." She smiled at him like he was more than just her nephew, and Iris and Andrea saw it. She looked at him like he was her son, and from how often she took care of him, it made sense. She was more his mom than his actual mom. "He gives me a hand when the restaurant gets busy."

"I do what I can." He blushed, embarrassed about being the topic.

"You cook?" Andrea helped herself to more coffee.

"A little." He shrugged a shoulder. "Mostly baked stuff, 'cause I suck with meat."

Iris wanted to mention their dinner but decided against it. It was best if Anna thought Andrea brought Iris over. If she thought that at all. What the hell did Anna know?

"He doesn't suck." Anna gave him a scolding look for saying that. "He just needs more practice."

"Just because you can always make something editable out of the "meals" I make doesn't mean I need more practice. It just means you're an amazing chef. I have two meals: burnt and under cooked."

The conversation went from there, Andrea and Anna got along well—a lot better than Andrea and Patrick's mom—and Iris relaxed to the point of being able to laugh, and it was really nice. Both times Iris had eaten with Patrick's folks, she felt like she was being interrogated, but Anna was super sweet. She even made them cookies to go, but as nice and easy and fun as breakfast had been, it couldn't last. Iris had to go home with her mom. They had to talk. Great.

"You should come by for dinner," Anna suggested to Andrea while Patrick and Iris said goodbye by the car. "Unless you don't like chicken."

"I'll have to take you up on that offer." Andrea smiled. "I'll bring wine. White or red?"

"White's fine." She returned her smile. "Your daughter is lovely."

"Thank you. Patrick is a fine young man. I'm...very grateful they met. He's been a good influence on her these past few years, and he lightens up around her. They're good for each other."

"They are. Patrick is very in love with her. I can see it when he talks about her."

"I think they're both very in love with each other."

"It's a shame about him moving."

"Hmm?" Andrea frowned. "Moving?"

"His parents want him to move to Arizona next week. I've been trying to delay it as long as possible, but my sister is like a rock. She doesn't budge when her mind's made up." She shook her head. "If she cared at all about how Patrick feels, she wouldn't as him to leave here. It's not easy for him to make friends, let alone be as open as he is now. It's taken years for him to get here. And to force him to do that all over again with strangers in a matter of months?" She looked furious. "It's beyond ridiculous. And selfish."

"I didn't know he was moving, but I do know him. No offense, but your sister is a bitch for doing this to him."

"None taken, and she is." She looked over at her nephew and Iris. "At least he found her. She's one of the best parts of his day. When he gets to see her and come to the restaurant, he glows. He loves it so much. He makes mistakes, but I see how he smiles when makes them." He knew he wasn't going to get head chopped off, and he knew he could actual help if he needed it, not just an annoyed look and a text book.

"So he only works so hard and stresses himself out for his parents?"

"Yes. He'd do anything to make them proud of him."

"What's not to be proud of? He's intelligent, considerate, responsible." The list went on and on. "How could anybody not be proud of him?"

"Ask my sister and brother-in-law. They only see flaws, and God forbid he have any. I can't wait until he's eighteen and free of them."

"Yeah, me too."

Iris could feel his aunt and her mom watching them, but she wanted to say goodbye properly, in case this was the last time. It might not be, but she didn't want to risk it. She held his hands and grinned at him, just happy to see him so happy, and she kissed him briefly.

"I'll call you tonight, okay?" He searched her eyes.

"I'd like that. Let's hope my mom lets me answer the phone though."

"Don't. Your mom just saved me. I can't thank her enough, so please don't attack her to get her to leave you alone."

"I do not attack her."

"Yes, you do." She pursed her lips. "You do. Just talk to her. You have enough secrets."

"Fine, but I don't like it. I'm still pissed at her."

"Be pissed, but be rational. It's not her fault."

"It's her fault she didn't tell me sooner."

"We all make mistakes, Iris. You gotta forgive her eventually."

"Eventually." She released his hands. "Take it easy today."

"I can't. I have an essay due on Monday, so I have to get to the library, but I'll definitely call you."

"All right." She kissed him. "Bye."

He walked away as Andrea headed to the car, Iris got into the car and dug through her mom's purse for her phone, seeing messages from Sophia, and Andrea buckled her seat belt, glancing at her daughter briefly before backing up and driving home.

Once they were home, Iris made a mad dash for her bedroom, but it wasn't going to be that escaping a mom she hasn't seen in two days, plus what happened with Patrick.

"Iris." Andrea locked the door and followed her upstairs. "Iris!"

"What?" She tossed her phone on her bed, sauntering over to her closet for clean clothes.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"To shower." She turned.

"Well, that can wait. We need to talk. Now."

She exhaled and had a seat. "You wanna talk about this morning?"

"Yes, I do."

"Okay." She picked at her nails. "What do you wanna talk about it?"

"Was this the first time?"

"Yeah." Her voice was low, but not because she was embarrassed. She just didn't want to talk about this with her lying, adoptive mother. Well, being adopted didn't have anything to do with it.

"Were you safe?" She searched her eyes. "Did you use protection?"

"Yeah. You have me on birth control, and his parents had condoms." She lifted her head. "It's not like we planned it, but we're not stupid. I wouldn't risk his future like that. His parents would kill him. You'd kill me."

Andrea frowned a little at how Iris had chosen to word that, but continued. "Were you ready? I mean, I know how you tow feel about each other, but were you both ready?"

"Yeah, we were." She wanted to smile, but she didn't.

Andrea nodded and smiled a little. "Then that's all I want to know. You can go shower."

"That's it?"

"That's it? What more were you expecting?"

"I don't know. Something horrifying and scarring."

"Why? I respect Patrick and have known him for years. He's a good young man, and he loves you. I'm glad that your first time was with someone you love and not with a stranger, because you were drunk or high or felt pressured to because you think you're too old to not have had sex."

Iris smiled a little back and gathered the clothes she'd taken from the closet, whispering, "Thank you." She lifted her head. "I'm going to take a shower now." She paused by the door. "Thank you for not telling Anna. That was...very nice of you."

"Anna already knew, Iris."

"What?"

"She isn't going to tell."

"How do you know she won't?"

"You saw how she was with Patrick. She wants to protect him, and she knows if she tells his parents about you two having sex, she's throwing him in to a pit of lions."

"I hope so."

"Iris, I'm not okay with running off and not telling me where you went." She met her eyes. "I don't expect you to tell me to be happy with me right now, but you're my daughter and I have to know where you are. You don't even have to talk to me, just sent me a text or leave a note. I just need to know, all right? I'm your mother, and I worry. I didn't know what happened to you when you left, and when Sophia told me you weren't with her, I...panicked. You cannot do that. Do you understand?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I do." She arched a brow. "Do you understand that you can't keep secrets from me though? Not like the one about my adoption. That wasn't...okay. I know it's not your fault that you couldn't have children of your own, but that doesn't mean I'm not still pissed at you about the rest, and honestly I can't trust you."

Andrea didn't say anything.

"I'm going over to Sophia's when I get out of the shower. I need to get her notes, and I'm gonna spend the night with her if Carol says it's okay. If not, I'll be with Lizzie. I'll call to let you know where I am." She left.

Andrea sank down on to the bed behind her and exhaled, taking in what Iris said. She knew it was going to be rough, and she could take it. She just didn't think that's how their talk would go. She wanted to talk to Iris about this, but not like that. And from the look of it, she might not even see Iris again unless she came home for clean clothes.

– – –

"You made flashcards?" Iris nibbled on the graham cracker. "Can I see them?"

"Sure."

"Thanks." She picked up a pile of neon pink flashcards which would be a bitch to read in sunlight.

"How are you?"

"Peachy." She lifted her eyes. "I don't know how I feel about Daryl and Andrea, and seeing Andrea this morning didn't exactly give me any hints. I don't trust her right now. I don't want to be in the same room as her, or even the same house. And I don't know what the hell will happen when I see Daryl."

"But you do want to see him?"

"Yeah. I mean, I have to, don't I?"

"No. As much as I would love for you two to get along and rebuild what you used to have as father and daughter so we could be sisters one day if my mom married him, you don't have to even look at Daryl."

"No, I want to. I keep saying 'have to' because I'm scared that if I don't, I won't go through with it and everything will stay like this. I hate how everything is right now. The only time I feel safe is when I'm with my friends."

"We'll get through this."

"We?"

"Yes! I'm going to be with you through this."

She smiled. "I love you, Sophia, and frankly, I am already your sister."

She laughed. "Ditto."

She bit her bottom lip and met Sophia's eyes. "I need to tell you something."

"This is good news, right? I need good news."

"It's not bad news."

"That's not cheerful."

"It's about me and Patrick."

"Oh then go ahead."

She told Sophia about what happened between them last night, so freaking relieved to not talk about Daryl or Andrea or how she felt about the situation, and it was the most normal conversation she'd had in what felt like years. It was nice to be normal, even for a few minutes. Sophia's reaction was even better than the one Iris had pictured in the car to keep from thinking about her parents, and she laughed. It was just like before, and Iris didn't realize how much she missed before until now. If she could just go back and make Andrea not tell her about everything, that would be great. Great and unrealistic. Reality sucked. Fiction kicked reality's ass all day every day. Well, considering what happened last night that wasn't entirely true, but for the most part, yeah.

"Well, it's been an exciting week for you. I'm so glad you guys...said that to each other. It just sucks that he's still leaving soon."

"As long as I have you and Lizzie and even Carl, I'll manage."

"We're going to the same college and renting an apartment together, so we'll definitely be together."

"Do you think we can make Lizzie come with us? Three people paying bills makes me feel a lot more comfortable than two."

"We can always hold her against her will and make her do online work for money."

"Good idea."

"I thought so."

There was a knock on the front door, Sophia wondered who that was, and they headed downstairs. Honey was scratching at the door, so it was somebody they knew, and Iris hoped it wasn't her mom. She would get down on her knees and pray for it to be anybody else, but she didn't have time because Sophia was already opening the door.

At least it wasn't Andrea.

"Daryl." Sophia stepped back. "Hey."

"Hey." He noticed she was tense. "You okay? Wait, ain't it a school day? Why aren't you in school?"

"Mom let me lay out."

"Oh. You sick?"

"No, just stressed about tests and needing extra time to study. Um, is there anything I can do for you? I gotta get back to studying."

"Is your mom home?"

"No. Her car's not even here."

"I was hopin' it was in the back. Is she at work?"

"Yeah. Do you want me to call her?"

"No, no. I'll go see her. I needa talk to Maggie anyway. I haven't been around lately, and I need to apologize for that." He cleared his throat. "How are you doin'? With all of this, I don't think I asked."

"It's me who should be asking."

"I'll let you know when I know."

"Do you want to stay for dinner? Or come back for dinner? I'm making it, and I think it'd be good for all of us if we just sat down and had dinner. I think Mom needs to talk to you."

"Why? What's goin' on? Is she all right?"

"I don't know. I'm just worried about her. She's been really out of it since a couple days ago, and I think she's pushing herself too far." She knotted her fingers. "Maybe you could talk to her."

He nodded. "Of course. I'll go down to the shelter and see her, talk to her, and I'll be back for dinner."

"Great." She smiled. "Bring your appetite."

He smiled a little and glanced back, seeing Honey and a leg. He frowned, Sophia followed his gaze, and Iris could feel the eyes on her, and she realized they saw her. She was shit at hiding. She stepped out and gave Daryl a small smile.

He looked at her, and it was like he'd just seen her for the first time. Her hair was braided back like it used to be when she was a kid. Maggie used to do it. There were so many weird braids that he couldn't figure out that she loved so he had Maggie do them. She was always kind enough to do it. She wore a boy's hoodie—Patrick's most likely—with jeans that had a hole in one knee and boots. Andrea wore boots, so they might have been hers. He couldn't say for sure. Had they made up then? Did Andrea do her hair?

"Howdy." What the hell did she just say? Who the hell says howdy?

He let out a short, airy chuckle. "Howdy."

"I—I wasn't eavesdropping. I was just coming down for graham crackers." She pointed to the cabinet. "They're cinnamon. I'm just going to—" She stopped talking, grabbed the box and all but ran out of the room.

Sophia winced for Iris and set a hand on Daryl's shoulder. "It wasn't you. She's weird about graham crackers."

He shrugged a shoulder. "It's fine. I'll talk to her."

"Are you sure you want to now?"

"Is now a bad time?"

"Well...sorta." She bit her bottom lip. "I can't speak for her, so I don't really know. I mean, I think it'd be best to let her come to you."

He nodded. "I—Yeah, you're right. I should talk to Carol anyway."

"I'll give Iris your phone number," Sophia offered. "And address."

"Thanks."

"Any time."

"I oughta go, but you best pass those tests."

"Yes, sir."

He gave a real smile and left, glancing back inside once. She was freaked out at the sight of him, so he would give her more time. He needed to see Carol anyway. He was worried about her too. She wasn't answering her phone. At least Iris had Sophia to keep her company. All of Carol's company had problems of their own or lived too damn far away.

Sophia returned to her bedroom as Iris hugged the box of graham crackers to her chest and munched on them just because. She tried to pry the box out of her arms, but Iris had a grip of steel. She plopped onto her bed and met her eyes. "Talk to me."

"I'm going to throw up." She dropped the box but continued to finish the one she was on. "I'm an idiot."

"No, no, you're not. You were just thrown. It's okay. You'll be able to talk about...anything else next time, I'm sure."

"Let's hope."

"Here." Sophia grabbed a marker and flashcard, writing down his number and address like she had said. "Why don't you go see him when you have a chance? Or just call him. You don't have to talk to him face-to-face."

"Thank you. Thank you so much for this." She accepted the card.

"You're welcome." Now hopefully Daryl could help her mom with her problem. Or problems.

––

Daryl peered in on Carol and felt himself smile a little. She was at her desk, writing something down with such focus, and while she looked beautiful, she looked thoroughly exhausted. She looked like she hadn't slept or had a decent night of sleep in several nights. He had a strong feeling this was about Iris and him and Andrea. He hadn't talked to her about this. He should have.

He knocked on the door frame, and she lifted her head, giving him a smile. "Hey."

"Hi."

"You busy?"

"No." She stood up and gestured for him to come in.

He closed the door behind him and kissed her, and it seemed like he surprised her with that. He kissed her longer than he usually did, holding her close, and she pulled back, hands on his forearms, and she stepped back. He frowned.

"So, what's going on?" She looked in his eyes.

"I saw Iris at your house."

"Oh, how did that go? Did you guys talk at all?"

"No. She grabbed graham crackers and ran away."

"Don't feel bad. She's weird with graham crackers."

He gave a laugh. "Yeah, Sophia said the same thing."

"Are you going to talk to her?"

"If she wants to talk to me, yes."

"If you want, I could set up a dinner for you two. Iris isn't fond of being at home right now, so she'll probably be with us for a little while." She'd gotten off the phone with Andrea half an hour ago, so she was up to speed on Iris. She wanted to help as best she could.

"That'd be real nice." If she came.

"I'll set it up. So, how are you handling this?"

"I don't even know."

"Well, if you want to talk, you know where to find me."

"I gotta talk to Maggie while I'm here. She's gotta be pissed."

"I doubt that. Maggie will understand."

"I can't tell her about Iris."

"She'll still understand. And besides Axel's been around," she told him. "He's been a big help, so don't worry about the work you left unfinished."

He clenched his teeth at the mention of Axel. "How is Axel?"

"The same as always." She smiled a little. "He's very kind toward the kids. They need someone goofy around here."

"Is he here now?"

"Not yet. He's coming in soon though. I need help with my printer, and Maggie has something for him."

"I can fix your printer."

"Don't worry about it. You have enough on your plate." She saw one of the girls outside her door. "Um, I have somebody outside my office, so..."

"Yeah. I'll see you at dinner."

"Mm-hmm." She smiled a goodbye and opened the door for him.

He walked out and glanced back as she greeted a young woman and frowned. There was something wrong. She was acting strangely, like she keeping something from him. He couldn't be sure. Carol didn't keep much from him, though he kept things from her. He needed to talk to her tonight at dinner.

– – –

"I won't interrupt the dinner, just let me stay," Iris begged. "I'll be like Harry and stay upstairs, making no noise and pretending that I don't exist. Please."

"Iris, go home and pack some clothes for the weekend, or the entire week. I just need one dinner with my mom and Daryl alone. They're already weird around each other, and I know that kind of weird."

"No, you're right. I'm already taking over your bedroom. I won't invade your dinner. I'll call Shane. I hope he's home."

"You can ride my bike."

"You're so funny. Save it for your awkward dinner."

"You're sounding like your old self."

"I guess that counts for something." She dug her phone out and called Shane, heading outside.

Sophia looked at the door Iris had just walked out of and slumped. She hoped this dinner wasn't awkward. She really wanted everything to be fine again. It wouldn't work itself out, they all had to pitch in, and she was determined to make it work. She had to work out the bumps between her mom and Daryl tonight then maybe Iris and Daryl or Iris and Andrea or all of them. Without constant nudging, they would all just grow apart, and she didn't want that. It would be horrible.

Iris got a ride home from Andrea, because they had a dinner with Anna and Patrick. Luckily, Andrea came before Daryl, because Iris and Sophia did not want to see that fight. They were both so alike when it came to kids, and they didn't want to see how bad they could get. Daryl had brought flowers that he said were for both of them, but Sophia suspected they were for her mom mostly. She made them the centerpiece of the table and checked on the food.

"Where's Carol?" He was bent over to scratch behind Honey's ears.

"At work. She and one of the women there had to talk, and I guess it's a rough subject. She'll call before she comes home. Dinner will be a few more minutes anyway."

"What are we havin'?"

"I'll wait to see if it turned out right before I say anything."

He laughed. "Fair enough."

"Do you want something drink?"

"I'm good."

"Okay." She made herself something to drink.

"Hey, Sophia?"

"Yes?"

"Did you know Axel was back at the shelter?"

"Uh, yeah. He took Mom out to lunch, and they brought me back this sandwich that was so good I wanted to cry."

"He took her to lunch?"

She didn't face him, just slowly twisted the cap back onto the two litter. "You didn't know?"

"No."

"Oh, well it wasn't anything special." She put the bottle back in the fridge and tried to make. "I doubt they even had napkins. Or, you know, decent lighting."

He was lost in thought and didn't hear her.

The phone rang, and Sophia was so happy to hear it. She answered it, and Daryl watched her expression, seeing her face fall, and he knew Carol couldn't make it to dinner. He wondered if it had to do with him being there.

"It's fine. I'll put a plate in the microwave for you."

" _I'm so sorry, baby. I just can't leave her like this_."

"No, I get it. We'll do it some other time."

" _We will._ "

"I love you, and I'll see you when you get home."

" _Don't wait up, honey. I love you too._ "

"All right. Bye."

 _"Bye."_ She hung up.

"It's just us tonight." She smiled at Daryl. "We can watch a movie in the living room when we eat."

He returned it. "All right. I'll pick the movie."

"I'll make the plates." Sophia noticed the look of disappointment and worry in his eyes and dropped her eyes to the floor. Did he think it was his fault she couldn't make it? Sophia could hear the woman sobbing in the background, but he didn't. "Daryl."

"What?" He returned to the kitchen and was met with a tight hug. "Sophia?"

God, Daryl, please don't think any of that was about you, she silently said. "Thanks for coming."

He hugged her back. "'Course."

She closed her eyes and prayed for this to all work out. They were all her family, and she couldn't stand to see them like this. It was always darkest before the dawn, and right now it was still pretty damn light. How much darker was it going to get?


	10. We're Family

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

Carol ran a hand through her hair and yawned, hearing the girls coming down the stairs, and she gave them a good morning smile as a greeting, too exhausted to speak. She had made a run for doughnuts and chocolate milk this morning, but all Sophia cared about was giving her a hug. It was extremely sweet, and Carol kissed her cheek. Iris just stuffed her face with a powered doughnut and drank a glass of chocolate milk, thanking Carol with a hug as well when she finished her first doughnut.

"How did you girls sleep?" She rubbed her eye.

"On the cold, hard floor," Sophia grumbled at Iris.

"I feel like death," Iris moaned, cheek against the cool table. "Seriously, I feel like someone beat me with a stick."

"I wanted to."

Carol smiled and tried not to laugh at the look Sophia gave her. "I have to go check on a friend, but after why don't I pick you two up and we'll go out?"

"That would be awesome. I haven't gone anywhere in three days."

Iris just gave a thumbs up.

"I'll be back by noon, so wash up and call Andrea, Iris."

"Why?" she whined.

"Because she's your mother, and she's concerned about you."

"Could I call her tomorrow? I'm dying right now, and I'll be dead before noon."

"Dead people don't shop," Sophia commented.

"You'd be surprised how this dead girl can shop. Just throw coffee at me. Or an energy drink."

"Iris, call your mother." She gathered the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. "I'm going to take a walk before work with Honey. Sophia, toss the corspe into the bath. Or just turn the hose on her."

"What? No!" Iris shot up. "That isn't funny!"

"I've never seen her move that fast." Sophia giggled.

"I hate you." She sighed. "Fine, I'll call Andrea." She hoped if she called this early, she'd still be in bed.

Carol clasped the leash to Honey's collar. "I'll be back soon."

"Yep." Sophia waved.

Iris picked up the house phone and sat on the arm of the couch, lying it in her lap and dialing her mom's cell phone number, praying she didn't pick up. She would have to make an effort, because Carol was being so kind in letting her stay over. She could call her office if she had to. She actually might have to. She waited as the phone rang and rang and rang, and she began to feel sick to her stomach. She had wished Andrea hadn't picked up, but now she was getting a little worried. She always answered the phone on the third ring. Iris had hilarious memories of her desperately trying to answer the phone on the third ring. This was weird and unnerving.

Chewing on her bottom lip, Iris called her office and got her assistant, who was so perky it practically seeped through the phone. She asked if her mom was in, but she wasn't. She hadn't been in for days. She was working from home supposedly. Iris thanked her and tried the home phone, knocking her feet together and twisting a strand of hair from her messy ponytail, sighing when it rang for the fourth time. What the hell?

" _Hello_?"

"Shane?" Iris made a face.

" _Hey, Iris. How are you, kid?_ "

"Wondering where the hell Andrea is." Was she really getting it on with her boyfriend now that Iris was out of the house? Seriously?

" _At Amy's._ "

"Oh. Then why are you answering our home phone?"

" _I stopped by to get the mail, and I left my lucky belt here a few nights ago._ "

"I see. Wait, you have a lucky belt?"

" _I haven't gotten shot yet._ "

She laughed and rolled her eyes.

" _Give Amy's house phone a call. You got the number?_ "

"Yep. She's my..." she trailed off. "Yes, I have the number."

" _All right. How's Carol's?_ "

"Awesome. Good company, good food and you know, the house doesn't reek of lies."

" _Iris_ —"

"I'm not being childish. I have a right to be pissed."

" _Yes, you do, but that was childish. You're not a child anymore._ "

"Then why call me kid?"

" _You're a kid to me and always will be._ "

"You're an ass to me, but pretty much everybody is. It's a compliment. Sort of."

He chuckled. " _Call your mom. She's worried about you._ "

"I will. Have a good day. Catch some bad guys. Don't enjoy the empty house so much. Remember to drink water."

" _I heard that._ "

"I know. Water is so good for you. I have to go."

"Y _ou'll have to forgive her eventually, Iris._ "

"Sure. Goodbye." She hung up and called Amy's number.

" _Iris?_ " It was Andrea.

" _That's desperate._ " That was Amy.

Iris giggled at her comment, hearing Andrea telling Amy to shut up.

" _Iris_." Andrea sounded so relieved. " _Honey, how are you?_ "

"The Warden made me call," she answered. "I just received breakfast and now have to take a shower. I intend to craft a key out of soap to escape the cell."

" _Stop watching Golden Girls_."

"I'm good. A little sore, but I think that's my period coming."

" _Do you need me to bring you anything?_ "

"Nah, Carol's medicine cabinet is very well-stocked." She pushed her bangs back. "Umm, how are you?"

" _Okay, I guess_."

"Why aren't you at home?"

" _I wasn't feeling all that well, so I decided to stay with Amy for a bit._ "

"Why? What's wrong?"

" _It's nothing, just a sore throat._ "

"Allergies then?"

" _Yeah, allergies._ "

"I could make some soup for you. I mean, we're having that for lunch anyway, and Carol's taking us out so we can drop it off for you."

Andrea smiled. " _I'd love that._ "

"Yeah?" She scratched her neck. "I'll just make sure to save you some."

" _Enough about me. Did you sleep well?_ "

"More or less. You?"

" _More or less._ "

She smiled a little. "I have to go shower, and you should get some rest."

" _Okay. I just have one question._ "

"What's that?"

" _Have you spoken to Daryl?_ "

"Not yet."

" _You should. I'm not pushing, but you may find something you've been looking for._ "

"I doubt that."

" _You never know._ "

"Mmm'kay. I gotta go. I'll—call you tomorrow, I guess."

" _Goodbye. I love you_."

"Uh-huh. Bye." She hung up and set the phone on the coffee table, falling back onto the couch. She couldn't be mad at her when she's sick. It was wrong, but she would make her get better than return to being angry. Shane was right. She would have to forgive her at some point, but that point wasn't coming to her yet. Maybe after a shower, coffee and making soup, she would think about it. Heavy on the maybe.

– – –

After dropping off the soup to Andrea—sadly, Carol had to take it up, because Iris was "asleep"—and grabbing a bite to eat, they went to the mall to mostly window shop. Iris had some leftover allowance and bought Carol a thank-you-for-letting-me-sleep-over gift, and Carol gave Sophia some money to buy a set of bracelets. Iris and Carol waited outside the store, looking down at the shoppers below, and Iris was smiling for some reason, and Carol saw her watching these two kids prank their mom.

"You seem better."

Iris looked over. "I am, thanks to you and Sophia." And Patrick.

"I'm glad. I've missed your smile."

She turned to her. "Thank you for letting me stay with you both. I really appreciate it. I just need time to clear my head."

"I completely understand." She laced her fingers together. "So, I have a question for you."

"Everyone seems to have one question for me." She leaned over the railing again. "What about Daryl?"

"Would you have dinner with him next Saturday night?"

"Dinner? With Daryl?"

"Yeah, I think it'd be good for both of you."

"I don't." Talking was fine, but an entire dinner? She didn't know if she could. It would be so strained, and she would just break his heart with every memory she couldn't recall. She didn't want to hurt him more, and if she didn't go, she'd hurt him. If she did, she hurt him. There was no winning, damn it.

"Iris, whether you like it or not, you need to decide if you want him in your life or not, and you'll have to either tell it to his face or write it in a letter. It's up to you, but I do suggest having dinner first."

"Would you have dinner with your husband?" Iris asked. "The one who died?"

"His name was Ed."

"Well, would you sit down and have dinner with Ed now? You've changed so much, could you do it? Just sit there and eat with him?"

"I'd like to think I would just toss my drink at him and tell him to go to hell," she admitted. "I don't know if I would to be honest."

"Oh, you _so_ would," Iris informed her. "You are seriously badass. Not like Buffy Summers badass, but normal badass. Well, _real_ badass."

"How do you even know what Buffy is?"

"They play reruns," she replied. "And you're ignore what I said."

She laughed. "I'll take it as a compliment."

"You should!" Iris straightened. "I would love to have your strength. I'm such a chicken."

"You're not."

"Then why can't I face my mom? Or Daryl? I'm just hiding with you and Sophia."

"There can be strength in hiding."

"No, there's not."

"Not all strength is brawn, Iris." She saw Sophia. "You're a smart girl. Think about it."

"What did I miss?" Sophia asked.

"Carol was checking out the salesclerk from Nike," Iris replied.

"All right, go back to being quiet," Carol shot back playfully.

"Good luck." Sophia adjusted her purse.

"I need a giant cookie now," Iris announced. "Or one of you could just pour a bucket of sugar into my mouth."

"You can get a normal-sized cookie," Carol offered.

"But the big ones looked so good."

"Too bad."

Iris thought about having dinner with Daryl and heaved a sigh. It was that or moving somewhere far, far away. It wouldn't be so bad. Well, that was a lie. It could always be bad. She had questions, and he had answers, so there was no avoiding it. She didn't want to die curious about her past, and Daryl was the only one who could sate her curiosity. Maybe Andrea was right; she might find somethig she'd been looking for.

Iris turned to Carol. "Okay."

"Hmm?" Her brows furrowed.

"The dinner. I've decided to go." She didn't need to spend years thinking on it. "Lemme know where."

Carol put an arm around her and hugged her. "I'm proud of you, Iris."

"Does this mean I can have two cookies?"

"All you think about is food."

"This time of the month, yes."

– – –

Andrea stood up when she heard the car pull in, and she hurried to the door. After seven days of staying with Patrick and Carol, Iris decided it was time to stop bumming and come home. She needed her full wardrobe for her dinner with Daryl, and she missed her bed. Sophia's was so uncomfortable, and she decided it was time to give Carol her life back. Unless she and Daryl were on a break or something.

Iris hugged Carol goodbye and thanked her then entered the house and went straight to her room.

"Thank you for bringing her home." Andrea smiled at Carol. "And for looking after her."

"You're welcome, but let's not make this a habit."

"I won't."

"I was kidding. I love having Iris over. Call me if you need to talk."

"Thanks, but I'm fine."

"Feeling better?"

"Much, thanks for asking."

She nodded. "Good luck."

"I'll need it." She waved as Carol got back into her car then locked up the house. She found Iris gathering her dirty laundry, and she watched as she separated them and bumped them into the basket after. She had spent too much time with Carol. She was even doing her laundry the same way.

"Do we have laundry detergent?" Iris pulled her hair in to a tight bun. "I have no clothes for school, and I am so ready for my history that I could just so it in an essay."

"I just bought some. Do you need a hand?"

"I'm good." She paused and met her eyes. "Wait, um...how are you feeling? Still sick?"

"No, I'm as healthy as a horse."

She smiled. "Okay. I mean, that's good."

"Shane's coming over for dinner, is that all right?"

"Of course." She picked up the basket and stumbled back.

"Iris?" She hurried over to her.

"I'm okay, just a little dizzy." She cleared her throat.

"Are you feeling all right?" She set a hand on her forehead against her daughter's protests. "You're warm. I'll go get some medicine, and you need to get in to bed."

"I'm fine. It's just from how hot it is outside."

"Don't fight with me. I'll do this."

"No, I can wash my own laundry." She huhed. "I just passed up the chance for you to wash my clothes. I must be dying."

Andrea laughed. "Let's hope it's just a cold." She set the basket on the floor. "I'll make you some tea."

"Thanks."

"I'm your mom. It's my job." She waited to see if Iris would fight the mom part, but she didn't. "I'll be right back."

She lowered herself down onto bed and kicked her shoes off, lying back. She felt like utter crap, but she was hoping to power through. All she wanted to do now was curl up with a soft, soft pillow and a bunch of movies. Why wasn't it the weekend already?

Andrea returned with the thermometer. "Open your mom." She did, and Andrea placed it under her tongue and smoothed her hair down. "If you have a temperature, I'll try to bring it down, but if I can't, we're going to see the doctor, okay?"

She nodded.

It beeped, and Andrea checked it, pursing her lips. "It's a little over. I'll be right back."

"Mm-hmm." She curled up with one of her pillow and buried her face in the cool material.

Andrea returned with two pills for the minor fever and a glass of water, finding Iris passed out on her bed, and she smiled a little. She pulled her legs onto the bed gently and straightened her upper body and covered her with a spare blanket from the hall. She kissed her forehead and pulled the door closed behind her. She leaned against the door and felt relieved. It was a start, and there was lot to rebuild, but she was home. She was acting like herself. She wasn't bitter or hateful. She was trying. That's all Andrea could ever ask for.

––

"So, you're going to dinner with him?" Patrick asked during class, the wind blowing at their papers since the teacher decided it was nice enough to work outside in groups.

"Yeah." She leaned against the building. "I mean, free food and awkward conversations. It's just like home."

"It's still awkward at home?"

"A little bit. I mean, I'm not angry anymore, not really." She crossed her legs in the grass. "Do you know how to do these?"

"You can use my notes." He dug out his notebook.

"Thanks." She pulled her legs in and reviewed his notes.

"Could I just copy your work?" Sophia asked. "I am so tired."

"Can't blame me for that," Iris mused, figuring out how to work out these formulas. She hated busy work so much, but it was nice day, and the teacher wasn't paying much attention to them.

"No, it was Mom."

"What's up with Carol?" Patrick closed his book, finished with his paper.

"She was on the phone until two in the morning, and I could hear her pacing the hall. She doesn't have a phone in her room, and the cordless one is broken, because Iris decided to run it through disposal."

"I was running a fever and the meds weren't helping. Blame Patrick. He's the one who got me sick."

"You were the one crushing on him so hard that you barely left his side."

Her cheeks burned. "It was spring break, and that was three years ago. Get over it. I already made it up to Carol. I can't make it up to you, just take a sleeping pill. Those always work for me." She wanted to cheat off Patrick, but each paper was different and she would have to do her own work come senior year anyway. She might as well start now. God, this was just an elective. She only took it to be with her boyfriend and best friend, and she was really tempted to start drawing boxes with write zero here on them.

"Mom's going out tonight, so I'll have the house to myself." She rubbed her eye. "Carl's coming over."

"Just you and Carl all alone?" Iris smirked. "That's a first. Make it special."

"Excuse me?" Sophia's brows rose.

"What?" She lifted her head. "Oh, I was texting my mom. Apparently, Shane wants to take me out for a driving lesson. It's the first time he's offered to give me a lesson, and Mom texted me make it special."

"Really?"

"Really." She replied and got back to work. "Speaking of, where is Carl?"

"He's getting his knee looked at," Patrick answered. "He pulled a muscle during the last meet, and he's worried it might be more than that."

"Ouch." She sucked air through her teeth. "Poor Carl. I hope he'll be all right."

"He's been texting," Sophia informed them, "and so far so good."

"I should make him something, like brownies." Iris tossed her book down, and they eyed her. "I'll take a C at this point. I don't give a shit. I have a killer headache, and my stomach is upset. I just want to sleep and sleep and make Carl brownies."

"Calm down, crazy." Sophia took her paper out of her book. "It'll be okay."

"I need lunch to come. I'm starving, and I despise lunch food, but I would seriously eat a giant platter of mashed potatoes and that Thanksgiving turkey they give us. Last time I ever skip breakfast to study. It's never worth it, in case you were wondering."

Patrick laughed. "Do you want part of my lunch? I have it with me."

"No, no, I'm good. I'll just wait the next half hour out. I'm going to buy five candy bars."

"That's not at all healthy."

"Never said it was. It's just what I want. I'll probably eat three at lunch and the other two in fourth."

Sophia giggled. "You'll be passed out in fourth, more like."

"So true." She stretched her legs. "I should call Daryl and ask him where he wants to have this dinner."

"You didn't already?" Sophia found another text from Carl.

"No. I went back on my decision a few days ago then finally decided that I was going this morning." She avoided Carol's calls and felt like shit for it. She would call Carol as soon as the dinner was over and either thank her or just talk to her. She knew Daryl best, and Iris might need Carol help her to understand how their evening went. "I'll stop by his house with Shane. I hope he's home." She could call, but she'd have to wait until after school.

"He might not be home."

"Why not?"

"He's all jealous that Axel's picked up his slack at work, so he's working extra hard to try and beat him when all Axel wants to do is help." Sophia shook her head. "It's so silly."

"Is he jealous?" Patrick cleaned off his glasses. "Of Axel, I mean."

"Why would he?"

"Have you met Daryl?" Iris knocked her knees together and enjoyed the slight breeze. "He gets jealous at the drop of a hat. I should know. He gave it to me. Plus, Axel and Carol are really close right now. I don't blame her. It's nice to have an uncomplicated friend."

 _So all it takes is Axel taking Mom out to eat once or twice, and Daryl turns green?_ Even she knew Axel wouldn't do that to Daryl. Axel both respected and mostly feared Daryl, and he wouldn't do anything to jeopardize his relationships with Mom. Why did Daryl always think people were going to be taken away from him? She didn't want to linger on that. "You know, I'm just going to stop thinking about it. I have a relationship of my own to worry about. I'm gonna go to the bathroom." She hopped up and searched for the teacher.

"Are you nervous for the dinner?" Patrick stacked their books.

"A little bit, but it's not like I can avoid it."

"True."

"Thanks for asking." She pushed hair out of her face. "Hey, do you have plans tonight?"

"Why?"

"Just curious."

"I have to pack tonight. My aunt's going to help me." He met her eyes. "You can come and help. It'll just be me until about eight."

"Okay, but I doubt we'll do much packing."

"Now, kids, break it up." Lizzie called to them as her class walked by.

"I'll still throw my book at your face," Iris called back.

She laughed and fell into step with one of her other friends.

"By the way," Patrick suddenly remembered, "my aunt wants you and Andrea to come over to her restaurant before I leave for dinner. You can bring Daryl and Carol and Sophia too. She's going to make a lot of food, and it'd be nice to get together before I go."

"Nice? Yeah, let's have a party all night when you have to catch a 5:45 to Arizona."

"Iris, it'll be fine."

"No, it'll suck." She stood up. "I have to use the bathroom."

He sighed as she walked away.

– – –

Andrea turned the cup of coffee restlessly, waiting for the other person to arrive, and she checked her watch. She had a meeting in an hour, and at this rate, she would still be sitting here waiting. She had important things to do today, and she had to cut out time to have this talk. Where the hell was he?

Daryl entered the diner and scanned the room for her, spotting her.

"You're late," was the first thing she said. "Carol said—"

"I know what time Carol said," he interrupted, having a seat. "I overslept last night, and I had a flat tire."

"That sounds like a really bad morning. Do you want something? I'm buying."

"No, I'm not hungry. I already had coffee." He cleared his throat. "I needa talk to you though."

"Talk or yell? I'd like to show my face here afterward. They serve good pancakes."

"If I wanted to yell at you, we'd have met at your house."

"True." She met his eyes. "What did you want to say? You want to take this to court?"

"No."

"Really?"

"Don't sound so surprised."

"I just...didn't expect you to say that. I thought that's why you wanted to meet up." She straightened and cleared her throat. "Well, since that's out of the way, what else do you want to discuss?"

"Iris."

"All right. What about her?" She held her breath and listened as he spoke to her. He was very level-headed about it, very sincere and mature. She was stunned and flattered and wondered where this came from. She knew this was him. This was Daryl Dixon the father, not Daryl Dixon and a million false runmors. This was the rare side of Daryl only three people have seen: Ella, Carol and Sophia. He was revealing himself to her, trusting her; and in the pit of her stomach knots grew as she recalled what she had said to him. She felt terrible. They would be here longer than the time she had, but she wouldn't leave it like this. They could go on without her. This conversation was once-in-a-lifetime, and she was going to hear everything he had to say. She owed him that.

"Whether we like it or not...we're family now," Daryl continued. "And for Iris's sake, we need to get our shit together." He didn't know if Iris wanted him in her life, but if she did, he didn't want her to feel torn between the two of them. And if she didn't, Daryl wanted to at least be friend with Andrea so he could at least know how she was doing as she grew up and lived her own life.

"For Iris's sake," she agreed.

– – –

Carol sat at her desk, looking over the picture of Sophia and Iris from this last holiday season, and she smiled a little, wrapping her arms around herself, and she knew what she had to do. She didn't want to do this, but it would be better for everyone. Now she just had to work up the courage to do this. It was easier to think, that was for sure. It wasn't forever, but there was still the chance it might turn out to be that way.


	11. Their Daughter

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

"So, it's _the_ dinner tonight." Andrea sat down on Iris's bed, moving aside the options she rejected.

"Yeah, and it's also the last night Patrick's gonna be here. I mean, he'll be here tomorrow for the dinner that might as well be a late lunch and then he's gone." She tossed a pair of shoes onto the bed, just barely missing her mom. "Sorry."

"As long as you weren't aiming for me," Andrea teased.

"No." She laughed a little. "No."

"So..are you excited?"

"No. He's leaving in the tomorrow." She paused. "Oh, you mean Daryl. Umm, sorta."

"Sorta?"

"I don't know what to feel. I'm really anxious, and I think I might throw up. I've only felt this way once before and I had the flu."

"You're not going to be sick. You're just nervous, you said so yourself. Just take a deep breathe, and I'll put some tea. You should drink a cup before you leave."

"Thanks. Um, could you help me pick out an outfit too? I—I don't know what to wear. A dress, I think, because all of my jeans are either dirty or not appropriate for a nice dinner." She had a lot of pants with holes, and they weren't purchased like that. She was tough on jeans, and she didn't want her mom to buy her more. They still covered what they were meant to, and she had plenty of unholey jeans too. They were her school jeans. The others went against dress code. Them and shoulders, because apparently shoulders are just so damn sexy. She mentally rolled her eyes at the dumbasses who wrote that. What the hell was next? Ankles? Elbows? These sexy earlobes? Seriously, wouldn't surprise her.

"Are you thinking about the dress code again?" Andrea was used to that look of annoyance.

"Yes."

"Stop! Tonight is about you and Daryl, not you going off about how not sexy shoulders and how immensely stupid the rules for girls are becoming. I'd save that for a special occasion."

"What if I'm not what he expects?" Iris whispered, eyes to the ground, hair falling in her face. "He wasn't home the other day when I went to check about this dinner and I only know now through Carol." She sighed. "What if he changed his mind?"

"He didn't. He's had a lot of bad luck lately, and this is probably the best night he'll have all week, no matter how it goes."

"Doesn't he go out with Carol? Like ever? Seriously, are they even dating anymore?"

"She's been busy. One of her girls—you know how she is."

"She'll ruin her own life to try and make everybody else happy." She nodded. "I'm going to make a cake. Patrick...taught me this really yummy recipe, and I think Carol needs cake and a talking-to; and you can give it to her and tell her to take Daryl out and be a couple for once."

"Why don't you?"

"It's weird. She's...my biological father's girlfriend, and it'd be too weird. Plus she'd probably just pat my head and tell me to politely keep my nose out of it." She held up two dresses. "Which one?"

"Why don't I pick out the outfit and you go make the tea." Andrea took the dresses and hung them back up. "It'll be perfect."

"All right. If I'm late, I detoured to vomit in the bathroom."

"Do you really feel physically sick?" Andrea looked her over thoroughly. "If so, you can always reschedule."

"It's just how I get before dinners with a man who's been in my life and was dramatically revealed to be my father," she replied, and Andrea arched a brow. "I'm fine. Really, I just need to calm my nerves. My nails can't take it anymore."

"I'll paint them, so you can chip at them."

"Thanks." She smiled and continued to the kitchen to make tea.

Andrea put her shoes back in her closet and pulled out black, knee-length, cutout neck black dress. She plucked a pair of strappy cork wedges that Amy had bought her for first day of high school. She set them on the chest at the foot of her bed and closed the doors. She would let her decide what accessories to add to this outfit, if she even liked the outfit Andrea had chosen.

A few minutes later Iris returned with two mugs of warm Earl Gray tea, and they sat on her bed to drink it. Iris seemed to be lost in thought, so when Andrea reached out to tuck hair behind her ear, she jumped, and Andrea apologized, dropping her hand instantly.

"It's fine." She noticed the clothes Andrea had laid out. "Oh, that's cute. I forgot about that dress." She set her cup on her nightstand and picked it up, holding it against her body. "This'll go perfectly."

"I—I could do your hair, if you'd like."

"I was going to ask." She smiled happily. "I'll just get dressed first though."

"I should get ready too. Carol and I are going out with Shane and Axel."

"That's almost a double date."

"Almost. Maybe one day it will be, I hope. We just need to kidnap Daryl to do it. He hates the idea of a double date." She rose up off the bed. "Come to my room when you want me to do your hair then I'll take you to dinner."

"Thanks."

She nodded and closed the door behind her on her way to her bedroom.

Iris finished her tea and dressed, slipping on her necklace that held Patrick's class ring. She didn't want to give it back to him, but she wouldn't keep it. She'd feel horrible if he moved and left this. She'd still feel horrible when he moved. And that was _tomorrow._ No matter how much time they spent together, he was still going to leave. And that was the most depressing news she'd ever received. At least with Daryl, she was gaining something. With Patrick, she was...losing someone she loved, the very first guy she'd ever loved, and it was hard to breathe when she thought about it.

Exhaling and pushing that to the back of her mind, she made her way to her mom's room and paused outside of it as her mom got ready in front of her vanity. She remembered as a little girl when her mom would get ready for a Christmas party or just to go out with Amy, and they'd both get all dressed up. Mom would put some lipstick on her, curl her hair and let her put on the outfit she'd chosen. It was so much fun. Her mom was the best honestly, and she wasn't angry anymore, and her memories still meant the world to her. She just wanted to keep them, every single memory, close to her. She didn't want to forget—not ever again.

"Just come on in," Andrea called to her, seeing her in the mirror.

"You look nice." She took a seat beside her.

"Thank you. So do you."

"You should wear the earrings Gran..." she trailed off.

"Grandma?" Andrea finished.

"It's weird, because while I know we're not related by blood, she's still my grandma, but I keep hesitating."

Andrea grasped her hands. "You will always be their granddaughter, Iris, and they'll always be your grandparents. They love you so much, just like Amy loves you so much."

"Just like you love me so much?" Iris murmured.

"No, I love you a hell of a lot more." She smiled at her and stood up. "And Daryl loves you like that too, no matter how many years have passed or different you are. You're still his little girl, and he'll accept whatever decision you make tonight."

She met her mother's eyes in the mirror and set her hand over Andrea's on her shoulder, squeezing it. "Thank you, Mom."

––

Sophia and Lizzie were curled up on the couch while Carl prepared popcorn and talked with Axel. Carol was running behind because she had to help out Maggie, and that left Axel to chat with all of them until she was dressed. He had brought some chocolate covered popcorn when he heard about their "passing the hard ass math exam" movie night, and Sophia thanked while Lizzie drooled a little bit.

"So, it's the night, huh?" Lizzie asked Sophia softly, peeling the tape off the lid to the chocolate covered popcorn. "Iris and Daryl."

"Yeah." She pulled her knees in. "I'm happy for them both. They need this."

"They do. It's so awesome. Iris has always wanted to a dad. Plus, she gets Carol as a mom if they ever tie the knot. That's so killer."

"Yeah, it is."

"I hope it goes well. I know how Iris gets when she's get nervous."

"It'll pass. Daryl's like that too, so he'll have to get over that quickly and start the conversation for her." She shrugged though. "Who really knows. They might end up sitting in total silence."

"We'll find out tomorrow." She smiled. "Is Daryl gonna come over here after?"

"I don't think so. Why?"

"'Cause your mom looks amazing."

Sophia looked over her shoulder then turned on the couch, smiling to see her mom dressed up so nice. She always wore nice things, but this was different. It was for a fun night out, not a stressful day of work. She looked really good. Daryl would love to see her like this. Maybe she could stop by his place. His dinner with Iris probably already started so maybe she might. It would be good for them to spend time together. With him scrambling to prove he was better than Axel and then trying to work out his situation with Iris and Andrea, he hasn't had much time with her.

"You look great," Lizzie called to Carol.

"Thanks." She smiled. "I thought you three were watching movies."

"We're waiting for Carl."

"He's keeping Axel company," Lizzie added, "while he was waiting for you."

"Then we'll go so you can continue with your movie." She turned to Sophia. "I'll be home by ten. Be good."

"We will be." She smiled. "Have fun."

"But not too much fun." Lizzie teased. "She's a taken woman!"

"This is why we don't invite you over for dinner," Sophia mused.

"That, and you ate enough for two people," Carl added, sitting beside Sophia.

"I'm growing," was all Lizzie said.

Axel shook his head at their conversation and gave a smile to Carol. "You look lovely."

"Thanks." She blushed a little and smiled. "So do you."

"Eh."

She laughed. "Why don't we meet up with Shane and Andrea?"

He opened the door and held it open for her. "You okay? You seem a little tense."

"Long week." She shrugged a shoulder.

"I know the feeling. Do you want to take a walk first? I think Andrea will be a little late. She has to drop off Iris at dinner with Daryl first."

"I could use some air, but a short walk."

He nodded. "So, what's on your mind?"

"If we went there, this walk would last all week." He chuckled. "I'm just nervous for Daryl. Tonight's very important for him. I hope it goes well."

"I'm sure it will."

She nodded a little. "I think there's so much going on in Iris's life right now. I hope nothing else happens to add more on her."

"She's a tough kid, just like her mom. I know that kid will be just fine, Carol." He nudged her, and she smiled a little. "And if not, she has you all."

She just nodded again, although her smile grew.

––

"If you want me to pick you up, just call." Andrea smiled encouragingly at her.

"Thanks, but try and have a good time tonight."

"I'll try, _Mom."_ Andrea smirked.

"Keep an eye on Axel and Carol."

"Why?"

"You know why. They'll end up in a serious conversation the entire night about me and Daryl, and it'll feel like it's just you and Shane. Keep Carol talking about anything else. Like...whatever Carol likes to talk about." Her nervous were shrinking her memory. Fabulous.

"I will. Now go on before Daryl thinks you changed your mind."

"Okay." She froze though.

"It'll go great, Iris. Just take a deep breath." She did, and Andrea hugged her. "Good luck, baby." She kissed her cheek and walked back to the car.

Iris whined softly then sucked in another deep breath and headed inside. The hostess helped her find Daryl, Iris thanked her and looked at him. He'd cleaned up a lot. He even wore a jacket and dressy pants. She wondered if Carol helped him pick this outfit out. She'd have to ask. If her legs would work.

Exhaling to momentarily relieve herself of her jitters, she joined him. "Hey."

He almost jumped, but he returned her smile. "Hey."

She sat. "I'm not really late, am I?"

"No, not at all."

"Good." She picked at her thumb nail then met his eyes. "You look nice. Did Carol pick that out for you?"

"No, no. It was just in the back of my closet."

"Oh. Well, it's nice."

Then fell the awkward silence where they could barely look at each other. She knew it was going to happen, and she wanted to go home now. Not because that she didn't want this dinner so much as she didn't know what to say. She might as well start tap dancing, because honestly it was a hell of a lot less embarrassing than anything she could say right now. She couldn't dance all that well, but she was stilling to start. Why didn't she prepare better? She should have written conversation starters down on her hands. Geez.

"You look good too." Daryl twisted his glass of water. "You look...um, like Andrea, actually."

"Um, thanks. She...did my hair. And picked out this outfit." She bit her bottom lip, thinking over ways to further break the silence. "How was your day?"

"...It was pretty decent. You?"

"I've felt pretty crummy most of the day." This dinner was quite possibly the most stressful thing she's ever had to prepare for, and she was poorly prepared. Why did she waste so much time? The entire hour she had Patrick assure her that this would go well should have been used for coming up with ideas on how to communicate with him. At least she got to talk to him today. She was surprised he even did it. He must feel guilty about leaving. As he should. Ugh, focus! What would start a last conversation?

"Are you sick?"

"No, no, just nerves." She cleared her throat. "I've been like this since I was little."

"Oh."

The silence spread yet again, broken briefly when the server wanted to know what Iris wanted to drink, and then once more when they ordered. She kept trying to think of things to say that wouldn't make him feel bad, but she couldn't think of anything. Maybe she could slip under the table and crawl away. That might actually be less painful than this dinner so far. Why couldn't there be music? She could comment on that at least.

"How's Patrick?" Daryl peeked at her face.

"He's good. He's packing right now." She swallowed hard. "He's leaving tomorrow evening. We're having a big dinner with him and a couple friends at his aunt's restaurant. You should come and meet him. I don't think you ever have, although the only boyfriend you need to worry about is Carl."

"Why only Carl?"

"Because Patrick's moving tomorrow, and we already..." She trailed off and quickly recovered. "I mean, you already know you two won't have time to get to know each other, with him moving." Quickly and poorly recovered.

He smirked a little. "I actually ran in to Patrick the other day."

"Really? How'd that conversation go?"

"He managed to talk for about two minutes then all but ran from me."

"Really?" She laughed a little. "He's nervous around...people."

"I don't doubt that, but I know why he ran."

"He's on a deadline. He's literally leaving tomorrow, and I make him procrastinate all the time. Seriously, I'm the reason he only made a 33 on his ACT." She crossed her legs. "I'm also why he can't go out at night alone. One prank in the middle of the night, and his parents make a rule about it. They probably stuff their own shirts."

He chuckled. "You don't care for them?"

"They're assholes to do this to him. They only think of themselves, you know? If he could just live with his aunt, or me and Mom... That'd be awesome for him. He could graduate with his own class, go to his own prom and enjoy the last few weeks of high school with teachers he's known for four years. I mean, he's spent all of his life with these people and to just leave tomorrow because his asshole parents say so? It pisses me off. If they were here, I'd egg their car."

"You really love this kid then?"

She blushed. "I know you probably think for me to love him at this age is ridiculous, because I'm just a kid. What do kids know about love?" She almost rolled her eyes but instead met his. "But I do. He's...my first love, and I really hate that he's leaving. I don't know how I'm going to get through it."

"I don't think you don't know what love is. You've got a better grasp on it than me, to be honest."

She smiled a little. "Thank you, but I doubt that last part. I can see you love Carol, and you must have told her by now, right?"

He shook his head slightly.

"Why not? I mean, it's completely obvious you do. Why haven't you told her? If the person I loved told me they loved me, I'd...melt and be happy for like the next twenty years."

He chuckled. "It just ain't an easy thing for me to say."

"How'd you even start dating? It took me forever to ask Patrick out, and honestly it's a little fuzzy who asked whom 'cause I think I fainted." She laughed a little. "Really, I think I did. If you can't tell her you love her...how in the hell did you ask her out?"

"I didn't say a word, just...went to her place and kissed her."

"Really? That doesn't seem like you at all."

"It wasn't somethin' I'd do."

"Then why'd you do it?"

"I didn't want to spend another five years tryin' to work up the courage to ask her out."

"Then just tell her. Just blurt it out. I know it'll be hard, but once it's out...just image how she'll look at you. I mean, it'll be the first time somebody's said to her in a romantic way that's never done anything to hurt her. Man, I almost want to be there."

"I'm thinkin' no."

She giggled and wrapped her fingers around her glass of water. "I think you two will be happier when you just start talking to each other."

"We do talk."

"About everything? Can you honestly say she knows all of your secrets and you know all of hers?"

He pursed his lips.

"Just talk to her. If she loves you like _everybody knows she does_ , she won't care about how awful it is and leave you; she'll love you anyway and try to help you through it if you need it. That's literally Carol in one sentence."

"Can we talk about somethin' else?"

"Sure. What do you have in mind?"

"How was your...childhood?"

"It was really good. I have a lot of memories with Mom and me. Phillip wasn't really around, and I wouldn't give him the time of day if he was. Mom always made time for me, so I didn't care." She tucked hair behind her ear. "I remember going to a pumpkin patch with Amy when I was about eight. It was seriously the best day. Mom recorded some things, and Amy took so many pictures. It was probably our first Halloween free of the hospital crap and my wanting to remembering who I was. We have a million pictures. You'll have to come over and check 'em out."

"I will."

"We can do it together this year. It'd be so fun! Sophia and Carol could come, and Mom and Shane. It'd be really great to get together. I mean, I bet Mom will want us three to get together long before that, but I think it'd be a good idea. I doubt you want to go trick-or-treating with us."

"Yeah, I'd like that. The pumpkin patch thing, but the trick-or-treating thing. You're on your own there."

She smiled. "I'll talk to Mom about it tonight."

"You two seem closer now. I mean, from how you talk about her."

"In a way, yes. We've much closer now. We really don't have any secrets anymore, and it's really nice. It's probably the first time we've never had anything hidden. I'm still her daughter, and she's still my mom." She licked her lips and let out a small "ha". "In another way, I keep waiting for her to drop an even bigger truth bomb on me. I seriously don't know how that would be possible, but look at us now. This one was seriously massive. I'm surprised the fallout isn't...well, bigger."

"What'd you mean?"

"I mean that it's weird how...everyone has just fallen in to place, like 'okay, this is totally normal, pass the coffee'. I feel like it should be...different for some of us." She shook her head. "I just jinxed it most likely."

"Not much has to change."

"It does." She met his eyes. "Mom and I are the same, if not better. Sophia and I are the same. Carol's relationship with me has completely changed. She feels more like a second mom, and I love that. She's the mom who can give me actually good advise, you know? And...well all of my life I kept looking for a dad figure. Phillip was never a good option, and I hated him. Shane's a good father figure. He just won't teach me how to shoot a gun. Mom would a cow if he tried. I have a bow, but I've only used it once." She had to hide the holes with a bunch of pictures. Mom never suspected a thing. Or she's been faking it this entire time.

"Shane, huh?"

"He's a good guy. I really like him, and I like how he treats my mom." She glanced over as they brought the food, and she thanked them out of habit and grasped her fork. "And then there's you."

"What about me?" He cleared his throat, however it did nothing to rid him of the lump in his throat, and he shifted in his seat.

"I don't know much about you. I know you hunt and fish and track, but I learned that from Sophia. I don't know your favorite color or favorite food, and you don't know mine either. It'd be really easy if we just ended any relationship here tonight." She could see he was holding his breath so she decided to hurry up before he passed out on her. "I've never liked easy when it comes to relationships, and you're my biological father. I want to know you and think of you as my dad, not the guy who shares DNA with me and is the father figure to my best friend. I want you in my life."

He smiled. "I—I want to be there."

"I—I can't call you my dad," Iris informed him. "Like, 'Hey, Dad'. Not yet. It's a little weird. You're Daryl and my dad, and I need...time to get to know you better before I can comfortably call you that."

"No, of course. I get it."

"Thanks." She beamed happily at him then paused before asking, "What was I like? As a kid? As a baby, I should say."

"You were a good baby, real sweet. You caught onto the things quick. Uh, I can show you your old room if you'd like."

"I would love that."

"Tomorrow then. I got an early day tomorrow." Early as in cleaning the shit out of his place. He'd gotten so busy with the shelter that he didn't have time to clean his place up. He'd do that tomorrow, maybe ask Carol for a hand. She had bunch of cleaning supplies and air fresheners, and it'd be good to spend some time together. A cleaning date. Maybe they could have dinner or lunch afterward.

She nodded and tasted her food. "Daryl?"

"Mmm?"

"Don't I have an uncle? On your side."

He chuckled nervously. Yeah, he needed to inform her of Merle, especially since he was coming down to see her. Yeah, he needed to prepare her for that.

– – –

"Thanks for dinner." Iris set her keys and shoes inside the house on the floor. "I'd invite you in, but Mom and I have some stuff to talk about."

"I gotta get goin' too."

"Right, your early morning. I won't keep you." She hesitated then hugged him, and he seemed startled by that. She rested her head on his shoulder and realized that the smell always on him was earth, not like dirt or anything gross, just like nature. It was weird, and there was the scent of new clothes. _Back of my closet_ , _my ass_. Her dad smelled like nature and a little bit like cigarettes. He would need to kick that habit. She wouldn't have him die of lung cancer, not after this, not on Carol and Sophia. There were too many people in his life that loved him for him to be stupid enough to keep smoking.

"Let's meet before noon," Iris released him. "'Cause of Patrick's early dinner party."

He nodded. "I'll call you."

"Okay." She smiled. "Good bye. Drive safe, okay?"

"I will. Good night."

She watched him get into his car and waved, feeling Mom behind her now, and she smiled a little before turning to her mom and hugging her tightly, as a thank you. A thank you for the truth, for being there always and a thank you for loving her enough to let her make up her own mind. "I love you."

Andrea smiled. "I love you." She rubbed her back. "Do you wanna talk about how tonight went?"

"Yeah, but you first. I need ice cream."

"Didn't you get dessert?"

"Nothing sounded good."

"I'll get the bowls then."

"Do we have any salted nuts?"

"I'll check."

"Thanks." She pulled out the vanilla ice cream and felt a little sad. This time tomorrow, she'd be busting in to this for an entirely different reason. She couldn't think about Patrick right now. She couldn't even begin to make sense of her emotions on him leaving tomorrow. Besides she had to rehash the events of her dinner with Daryl, and after all they got passed the awkward moments, it was really nice. Next time would be even better.

– – –

Carol coughed in to her elbow, and Daryl held back a sneeze. They had began cleaning his place, and they had to start with what was once Ella's room. It was remotely clean, though there were areas that were terrifyingly dust. Dust so thick he worried he might need to scrape it off. Carol had a solution thankfully. They sat on the carpeted but still hard floor, trying to see what was under the shelves in the closet, and he kept looking over at her. She could feel him watching her, and she hid the grin that kept wanting to appear. She was trying to see if this lump was wood or an old book. She couldn't really tell. She needed to give it a good yank.

"Thanks for comin' over," Daryl finally managed after half an hour of trying to say something other than _I need help cleaning_.

"I'm glad to help." She grinned at him. "So, I take it the dinner went well?"

"I think so, yeah."

"You think so? Daryl, you were there. Either it went well or you're being a pessimist." She caught his gaze. "How do it go?"

"Really well."

"Good."

He leaned over and kissed her, taking her by surprise, only unlike in her office, she leaned in to him. They were already sitting so that they were facing each other, so getting closer wasn't a problem, though her legs would wind up in the closet. He set his hand on her leg, she scooted a little closer, and her hand cupped his cheek. He was the one to pull back. He wanted to tell her something. "I—"

"Want to get back to work?" she guessed. "You're right. We shouldn't get distracted. Iris will be over here soon. Why don't you go work on the living room? I'll spruce this room up."

"Okay." He rose and tended to the living room.

They worked until ten in the morning—Carol had come at seven after taking Sophia to help Hershel—and they had a drink while they cooled off. It was pretty hot today, even with air conditioning, but at least the entire house was spotless. The floors were even shiny for the first time possibly ever, Daryl noted as they sat together on the couch, Carol's head on his chest, and they drank the ice cold lemonade Carol had brought over. She didn't bother to tell him she and Axel had made it with Sophia the night before when she got home.

"Next time give us a full day and not a few hours," Carol teased.

"Hopin' there won't be a next time."

"Dirt always finds a way into a home." She laced her fingers through his. "What do you plan to do with this?"

"What'd you mean?"

"With your new relationship with Iris. Are you going to friends that eventually leads in to a father-daughter relationship, or are you going to have a father-daughter relationship that leads you to friendship?"

"Definitely the first one. We gotta a lot learn about each other, and I don't think either of us are ready to...just be father and daughter. I'm out of practice, and she's sixteen years old." Carol giggled. "I'm not sure I know how to...handle a sixteen-year-old."

"You and Sophia manage fine."

"I'm not her dad."

"True." She peeked at his face. "If it makes you feel any better, I know you'll do great."

He smiled and kissed her.

"Ooh, sorry to break up the cuteness," Iris teased, having used the spare key under the mat. "No, really, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it." She rose. "I have to meet Axel and Sophia for brunch."

Iris could see Daryl's lip twitch at the mention of Axel. "Sounds yummy. Are you guys cooking?"

"No, no. I've learned Axel survives off of frozen meals, and as delicious as that doesn't sound, I think it'd be better if we just went out." She smiled goodbye to Daryl and set her glass on the counter. "Have a good time."

"Will do." She returned her smile. "I'll see you at the restaurant."

"I'll bring extra chocolates."

"Thanks." She waved her out and closed the door. "Hey, Daryl."

"Hey, Iris."

"I brought brownies."

"All you ever eat is junk."

"Yeah, well I run track and eat healthy all the time. I'm just in a junk food mood. My boyfriend's leaving the state for possibly ever. Mom cuts me some slack."

"Touchy today."

"I know. I'm sorry." She set her purse on the couch. "So, I grew up here?"

"From day one to year five."

"It's cute. Nice floors." She gazed out at the backyard. She could imagine herself running wild back here. It was so spacious, and oh there was a grill! She wondered if they ever cooked out, and if so, how often? "You have a pretty view."

"Thanks." He placed his and Carol's glasses in the sink.

She checked down the hall. "Which room was mine?"

"Right through here." He pointed the way.

She looked around. "You half-assed gutted it."

"Merle did. He...couldn't look at the bed and stuff anymore. I wasn't home at the time, so I couldn't stop him. He was drunk so he passed out halfway."

"It must have been cozy." She spun to face him. "I kinda love small rooms. They're super easy to clean, and it just makes me feel...comfy, I guess." She smiled. "Do you have any pictures of what it used to look like?"

"Uh, not really."

"Well, I'd still love to see any you have."

"Mmm'kay." He led her to his bedroom and pulled down an old shoebox. He set it on the bed, and she sat beside him, waiting for him to open it, to let him know he could do this at his own pace. He removed the lid and handed her a few pictures. "Maggie—your old babysitter—took a lot of 'em."

"The same Maggie from the shelter? Hershel's daughter?"

"Yeah. She loved you." He watched her face. "You were her favorite kid to babysit."

She flipped through them, staring in amazement at her younger self and Maggie and even Daryl. It was so beautiful. She didn't remember these memories at all, but the look of love in Daryl's eyes, how he held her and smile and laughed with her was so touching. She'd only seen him like this with Carol when they didn't know the door was slowly creeping more and more open. She and Sophia peeped on them sometimes. But he had been like this with her, only in a fatherly way, an open and honest and you're my baby girl way. Her entire one to year five had been spent with him looking at her like she was the best thing he'd ever done. It brought tears to her eyes.

"Iris?"

"I'm sorry." She sniffed and smiled. "These are...really amazing. Mom—Mom has lot of me after this age, but...I always wondered what it was like, even before I knew the truth. I thought we couldn't afford a camera, and it sucked 'cause I never knew what my baby pictures looked like, but here they are."

He reached over to rub her back, but she grasped his hand and held it. "You okay?"

"Yeah." She met his eyes. "Thank you."

"You asked to see 'em."

"No, not—not for the pictures. Thank you...for not letting me be a ward of the state. Thank you for raising me, even though it caused you a lot of pain."

"You don't gotta thank me. I'm your dad. 'Course I was gonna raise you."

More tears rose up in her eyes, and she nodded. "Could I have one of these? Just for my room."

"Yeah, sure."

"Which one don't you like the most?"

"Take any. I don't need a picture to remember you by."

"Okay. Then I'll take this one." It was of her walking on wobbly legs to Daryl as he walked through the front door and smiled at her. It was her favorite. "You can have one of mine when we look at those. Which reminds me, Mom wants you over for dinner on Tuesday."

"All right. What time?"

"Seven. You don't have to bring anything, just yourself and an appetite."

"Good to know."

"I have a question."

"Ask away."

"My grandparents are coming down in a couple weeks to see me and Mom now that I know the truth. I know it's really weird for you, but I'd like for you to meet them. You can say no; I'll completely understand if you do, but you guys are my family, and since they're my only living grandparents, I'd like you guys to meet. Or at least get along. I graduate soon, and I'd like all of you to be there."

He chewed his bottom lip.

"You can always say no. I can take it. I'm a big girl."

"No, no, that ain't it."

"Then what is?"

"They ain't your only livin' grandparents."

"Your parents?"

"No, no. Celia's."

"Celia?"

"Your birth mom."

"Her parents are alive?"

"Her dad left when she was a kid, so it's just her mom Ruth." He didn't want to let them meet ever, but she had a right to know. If she found out later, he didn't want to risk losing her a second time. He didn't know how Iris would react to something like that, so he chose the semi-safe route. He hoped she didn't want to meet Ruth. She was toxin in a human body.

"What's she like?"

"I have very...unpleasant opinions of Ruth. I won't let you think what I think."

"That's not very heartwarming."

"Neither is she. She ain't the kinda grandma that bakes you cookie and gives you milk." She nodded. "She's real bitter and—and I said I wouldn't do this. You'd have to meet her yourself."

"I'd like to."

 _Shit!_ "Really?" It sounded more like _Jesus, no you don't!_

"Yeah! I won't get my hopes up, but if there's a chance I can learn about my birth mother, I want to take it. I have Andrea, and I love my mom, but I'd like to at least know what Celia looked like." She searched his eyes. "You can take me and Mom to meet her. It'll be brief. All I need is one look at a picture of her."

He mentally groaned. "All right, but I gotta work myself into talkin' to that...her." She giggled. "It'll be at least three days. I have to pick up my brother from the airport in tomorrow, and I gotta get him settled and it'll take a day for me to want to talk to her."

"Thank you."

"You owe me."

"I'll tell you about the first time I remembering meeting Santa. It's an interesting story."

"All right, but it's not an even exchange."

"Just wait till you hear the story."

He leaned back on the bed and listened as she began to tell him of her first Christmas with Andrea. He could only think of Ruth. He didn't want them anywhere near each other, and Andrea wouldn't either if she knew Ruth. He'd have to be careful with this. He didn't want Iris to get her hopes up. Ruth was a foul woman, and he hoped their very briefly encounter didn't leave Iris feeling upset. If that happened, Daryl was going to kill Ruth. Or least a very strongly worded, one-sided conversation with her. Nobody was going to hurt Iris, especially not family. He would make sure of that. Him and Andrea both. She was their daughter now.


	12. What I Must Do Because I Love You

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

"I don't want to." Iris buried face further in to the bed, trying to cocoon herself in the blankets.

"You have to." Sophia grabbed at the pillow. "Can you imagine the look on his face if you don't come?"

"He's still leaving! I don't want him to leave! Leave me alone!"

"No, get your ass up!" Sophia grunted and fell on top of her when Iris yanked back harder. "I hate you sometimes."

"I'm not going. I can't."

"Yes, you are." Andrea answered. "You are going to put on that dress you picked out and do your hair and pack tissues in your purse. Hell, stuff 'em in your bra for all I care. C'mon, Iris."

She sat up. "Mom, please, don't make me go tonight."

Andrea bent down beside her. "You're going to go and say goodbye to him, okay?"

"How can I say goodbye to him?" Tears blurred her vision. "I can't. There's no way I can do this. Before I had months, but now I only have hours, and it's not fair. I—I can't do this."

"You have to."

"Mom—"

"You think this is bad? Imagine being right here without ever saying goodbye to him? Without telling him you love him on last time? Do you want his last memory of you to be of you ditching him?"

"No," she mumbled.

"Then get dressed." She wiped at her tears and kissed her cheek. "I'll be downstairs with Carol."

"Is Daryl here yet?" Sophia asked.

"Not yet, but we still have half an hour until we have to leave." She paused in the doorway. "Are you okay, Iris?"

"I'm okay enough to say goodbye, but you'd better damn well expect I will come back here and cry for the next twenty-four hours."

"That's my girl." Andrea smiled sadly and headed back downstairs.

"I'm sorry, Iris." Sophia took her place on the bed as she got dressed. "I wish I could do something to help."

"Help me get through tonight." She tossed her shirt into the hamper with her back to Sophia and stepped into the high-low black dress. It might as well be black. She was burying part of herself after all. "I feel so sick, and my stomach is in knots. I almost threw up this morning, but I did eat a lot of junk yesterday. Never eat hummus and then four brownies before bed. You have nightmares and almost puke in your sleep."

"Are you sick?"

"No. I'm fine." She turned and grabbed pair of boots from her closet. "At least I'll look cute tonight. Before I bawl my eyes out."

"Hey, in two years you won't even remember how this feels."

"Did you build me a time machine?"

"No."

"Then please stuff that box of tissues into my purse." She brushed out her hair and didn't bother with makeup. She pulled his class ring necklace out from between her breasts and held it in her hand. "At least I get to look forward to dinner with Mom and Daryl."

"You're excited about it?" Sophia was grinning, her tone dripping with excitement.

"Yes." She smiled for the first time today. "I like Daryl. I don't know much about him, but as a father, I like him. I already liked him as a friend, so that helps."

"I'm so happy for you guys."

"Me too. It feels finally like nobody's hurting, and we can all just move on. Well, hurting from the truth bomb, not the gaping hole in my heart."

"I'm here." Sophia hugged her. "All the way."

"Until Carl comes, and you two end up hanging out all night."

"You need time to talk to Patrick."

"Yeah, but if Carl's not already there, I need to run my goodbye speech through you."

"Just speak from the gaping hole."

She laughed. "Get off me."

Carol appeared in the doorway. "Daryl's here, and we should head out. We don't want to be late."

"No, we wouldn't want that." Iris grabbed her cardigan. "Let's get going."

––

Carl and Noah were being gentlemen and helping Anna set up the tables, Sophia and Lizzie set those table with the plates and silverware and glasses, and Andrea and Anna went to the back to check on the food. Sam and Patrick were having a good time talking about something, and Iris just watched from afar. Daryl and Shane were helping set up a fire just for looks, and they would light it later on tonight. A few other kids from Patrick's graduating class were there, some track members as well, and they made Iris scoot further and further away.

Andrea found her about ten minutes after helping Anna lying down in a booth by the windows with a fruity drink and bacon wrapped...something. She almost laughed and sat down across from her.

"Nice view."

"Yeah." She set the now empty plate on the table and stacked her hands on her stomach. "It's a nice night."

"It is, so why are you spending it hiding down here?"

"I'm not hiding. Well, I'm hiding the fact I just ate an entire platter of those things."

"Baby, you need to talk to him."

"He's busy with his other friends."

"He's looking for you. He's only talking to them, because he can't find you."

"Well, that's just rude of him. They came all this way, and all he wants to do is chat me up." She exhaled. "I can't talk to him. Could I just text him?"

"No." Andrea collected her phone to ensure she didn't attempt that plan. "I'm going to join Anna and Sam. You should join the others. And you have bacon on your stomach."

She pushed herself up. "Fine, but you stink at motivating people."

"If you want a motivating speech, I'll bring Carol over here."

"Oh, so funny."

"C'mon." Andrea held her hand out and Iris accepted it, standing up. "You only have a few hours."

"Don't remind me." She pulled out a fake smile and forcing herself join the others.

Andrea sighed and found Carol standing off to the side alone. "What are you doing?"

"Just watching." She smiled a little. "You?"

"Talking to you." She returned her smile. "Having fun?"

"In my own way." She crossed her arms. "How's Iris doing?"

"She's...hanging in there. I wish there was something I could say to make her feel better, but I know what this feels like, and my words won't mean anything to her."

"She'll be fine. She's—she's a strong young woman, and I think she'll find a way to cope. There are so many ways they can keep in touch, and that should lessen her pain."

"You may be right." She shrugged a shoulder, crinkling her nose.

"What do you think of their relationship?" Carol inquired, seeing Daryl and Iris speaking briefly. "Is it improving?"

She followed Carol's gaze and nodded only a little, unsure. "They've only spent a few hours together, and Iris doesn't exactly tell me everything. I get an overview of their time together, and it sounds like they're doing pretty well so far. She seems to really like Daryl, but I have a feeling...there will be some bumps. I mean, with Merle coming back into town... He's a lot to handle. Or so Shane's told me. He might have changed, but I don't really know. I guess I'll find out."

"Mmm."

"How are things with you and Daryl?"

"They're fine." She didn't look at Andrea.

"Well, we should invite him along with us more often. The other night with you and Axel was fun. I think we would do that again."

"I'd love to." Carol faced her. "I'm going to use the bathroom. Excuse me."

"Yeah." Andrea narrowed her eyes and tried to figure out what was up with Carol. She was being strange. To ask outright might be rude, because she might have something else going on after this. Andrea didn't know. She could only try to figure it out by watching Carol. Well, they certainly had time.

––

"What's he like?" Sophia asked Daryl. "Your brother Merle. I've heard stories about him, but I don't know what to believe."

Daryl chuckled lightly. "Merle's...very Merle. He's a lot to take in, but he's changed a lot."

"'Cause of Iris?"

"Yeah. And her "death". I don't really know how he is now. He's...been real distant. This is the first time he's come home since I told him about Ella passin' away."

"Did you miss him?"

"Every day. He's an asshole, but he's my brother."

"Do I get to meet him?" She peered at him from over the top of her drink.

"Of course you get to meet him."

"Really?"

"Iris is part of the reason he's comin' down, but I want him to meet you. You're as important to me as Iris is. You changed my entire life."

She grinned. "You changed my life too." She hugged him. "Thank you for that."

He smiled. "No, thank you for runnin' from your mom. If not, who knows where we'd be."

"Nowhere good." She pushed the thought away as she stepped back.

"How's your mom been lately?" Daryl whispered.

"A little stressed out, but between Honey and Axel, she's calming down. They're so similar. They both fetch, they both make her laugh, and they both know how to ruin a movie." He spoiled the end to a movie she had been dying to see, and Honey barked through the ending to a movie that was playing on TV, because there was some animal in the backyard. "I'm going to start watching movie's at Carl's."

Daryl's lips pressed together at the mention of Axel and calming Carol down. "Did she invite him here tonight?"

"Why would she? He doesn't know Patrick, and it'd be a little weird." She noticed his expression. "I think he had plans tonight anyway. Yeah, I think Maggie mentioned a—uh, a date."

"A date?"

"Yeah. I don't remember much about it. I was trying to do focus on my homework." She took a long sip from her drink and changed the subject. "How was this morning with Iris?"

"It was...interestin'. She told me about her past and her first experience with Santa."

"I love that story. It's hilarious."

"You think?"

"You don't?"

"Not particularly. It sounded pretty bad."

"You're her dad, so of course you think that." She saw Carl motioning for her to come here. "Why don't you go find Mom? I think Carl wants to talk to me, and I haven't seen Mom in, like, an hour."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea." He gave her dismissive nod and searched for Carol.

Sophia moved hair from her face as she met Carl. "What's up?"

"Patrick wants to talk to Iris alone, so we need to distract everybody. I had an idea."

"Carl, this doesn't involve fire, does it?"

"No."

"Okay then let's do it."

"You're not going to let what happened in chemistry go, are you?"

"You set a lab coat on fire!"

"It was an accident!"

"Was causing that little smoke cloud an accident too?"

"Patrick set me up on that."

She smiled. "What's your plan?"

––

Daryl asked both Andrea and Anna if they had seen Carol, and they both said they hadn't seen her in a while. He was about to ask Shane when he saw her sitting outside on a bench, and he set his drink down and joined her. She greeted him with a small smile, and he returned it.

"We were just about to send a search party for you," he teased.

She laughed. "Really? Well, I'm glad you found me and spared the kids from having to pause their goodbyes and delicious appetizers."

"How long have you been out here?"

"I don't know. I came out to get some fresh air, and I just got lost in my thoughts."

"What thoughts?"

"Work thoughts." She shifted to be leaning against him. "Iris thoughts."

"What about Iris?"

"Well, tonight Iris has to say goodbye to her first, genuine love, and it suddenly dawn on me that I have never had to do that."

"Never?"

"No. There was only ever Ed, and what I felt for him was anything but love." She could feel him tense at the mention of Ed, and she knew he was worried that she wasn't ready to talk about it. She never really did talk about it. It was a night of firsts. "I thought it was at first, but I look at Iris and Patrick, and I realize it was nothing like that."

"What do you mean."

"What they feel for each other is...deep and very powerful, perhaps even rare. Iris's body language is spewing out so much reluctance and sorrow, and I think losing a limb would cause her less pain. I've never felt that kind of emotional pain, and if I have, it was never for Ed."

"Sophia?"

"She's the only thing I will never regret, and when I think back to all of it, I—"

"Don't," he stopped her. "It all worked out. He's gone, and she's just fine. She's better than fine. You too."

"I know." She lifted her head from his chest. "Daryl?"

"Yeah?"

"I..." She changed her sentence and pulled out a smile, "think we should head back inside. It's about time for dinner, and I promised Anna I'd give her a hand."

They rose, he slid an arm around her waist, and they strolled back inside. Carol was right; Anna was just about to serve dinner. Carol left Daryl's side to give her a hand, and he and Shane offered their assistance to Anna as well. With Carol, Andrea, and Anna bringing out the food, Shane, Sam and Daryl rounded up the kids and brought out the drinks. It wasn't as hectic as Anna thought, and it was going really well. Patrick hadn't come back, and neither had Iris, but Anna knew what they were doing. She'd save them a plate if she had to.

"So, your plan was to avoid me all night?" Patrick stepped out onto the roof.

"Not intentionally." She was leaning against the railing, gazing out at the sunset. "I guess your flight leaves soon. What do you think? Two hours? Two and a half?"

"Iris—"

She shook her head. "You're really leaving. I knew it was coming, but...now it's here, and I feel like I can't...focus." Her lips were quiver. "It's hard to breathe, and—and I just want to be sick."

"Me too."

"Can't you just...run away? You know, like play horses or something and become independently wealthy?"

He laughed. "I wish."

"I can't believe this is the last time I'm going to see you." She could feel him beside her. "It's not fair. Why are your parent such assholes? Why can't they just...let you stay here with your aunt? You'll be eighteen soon. Can't you just...tell them to shove it?"

"I've never tried fighting them."

"Yeah, I know. You should have."

"Iris—"

"Not for me," she argued. "Or us. For yourself."

"I'd love to stay and finish out this year with my friends, but I can't. I'm sorry, Iris. I'm just not the fighter. That's your job."

The gold and pink sunset seemed to darken in beauty as they spoke, and the wind was picking up, blowing at their hair and clothes. It smelled a little like rain. She could always smell something in the air just before it rained, and of course the scent was there. She wondered if a storm was closing. She loved the sound of rain.

"Not anymore." She gripped the cement and met his eyes. "I tried, and all of my battles don't get me anywhere."

"That's not true."

"It is." She didn't try to fight the sadness inside of her. "I'd do anything for you, Patrick."

"You'd do anything for anybody you loved," he corrected. "Luckily I'm one of those people."

"Yeah, I would." A pause. "But I can't be here for you tonight. I can't stay and deal with the tears and the goodbye stuff. I just can't."

"I understand."

"Of course you do. You'd say anything to avoid conflict." She released her grip on the cement railing and ignored the hair that the wind blew in to her glossed lips and eyes. "I love you, Patrick, and I probably always will, but I can't stay here any longer. I'm going home."

"Right now?"

"Right now."

"Iris, they're in the middle of the dinner.

"I'll walk if I have to." She shrugged. "I like a good, long walk."

"You're serious."

"Yep." She met his eyes. "If I stay, we'll end up fighting and I'd like my last memory of us together to be decent; so I'm going to kiss you and give you a hug goodbye and then I'm going home."

He blinked hard. "If that's what you what to do, I understand. I can't say I like it, but...I'm not going to make you stay if you don't want to."

"I know." She moved the hair from her face, freeing strands from her lip gloss then she closed the space between them and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her forehead into his, eyes shut. "I'm so grateful that we met. I'll always think fondly of our time together, especially these last few days."

"So will I."

She kissed him, feeling his arms around her waist tighten to bring her even closer, and she remembered their first kiss. It was so gross, because he'd eaten a lot of garlic at lunch, and her lips were cracked. She was fond of it though. Their kisses improved luckily, and now they were having their last kiss. She wouldn't be fond of this kiss at all. Maybe when she was older, but she hated it now. She really fucking hated it.

She pulled back when she needed air, and he chuckled breathlessly. She hugged him then, burying her face in the crook of his neck and holding on to him with a strong grip she was worried she might bruise him. _Good,_ she thought. He'd have something to remember her by. Something he couldn't ignore that is. When she moved away, she reached for his class ring, and he shook his head.

"It's yours," she reminded him.

"I know. I want you to keep it. I'll probably get a new one anyway."

"I don't want it."

"Iris, just keep it. It's...a gift from me to you."

"Fine." She left it on her neck. "Goodbye."

"Iris—"

She walked away. She hurried down the stairs, glad she had gone with a high-low dress rather than the skirt she had originally picked out. Running away was a piece of cake. She saw the door that led to where the others were eating and drinking and having fun, and she knew it was the only way she was getting out of here. It was the only exit, unless she wanted to jump off the roof.

The door opened, and Carol met her eyes.

"Iris." Her tone told so much, so Iris must have looked as bad as she felt. Carol embraced the young girl as she began to sob even more. "Do you want to go?"

"Yeah."

"I'll get Andrea." Carol started to leave, but Iris told her to wait.

"I need a minute." She tried to calm herself down enough to go out there, but she couldn't. She began to breathe erratically, and she pushed the hair from her face back. "I—I don't know what to do." Her fingers began to grip tightly at her hair.

"Just take a deep breath," Carol suggested.

"It's all such a mess." She squeezed her eyes shut. "God. First the Daryl thing and now Patrick and then there's all this other shit. I can—God, I can't handle this."

"Iris." Carol watched as her face grew red from air that she wasn't taking in, her face wet with tears, and she was clenching her teeth and hair. It killed Carol to see her like this. "Breath, honey. Come on, just breath."

She looked at Carol with wide eyes. "I just want something normal. God, my entire life—it's just—just such a mess. How did this happen? I can't handle this." Her voice was trembling and soft, and she released her hair. "I—I have to get out of—of here." She pushed open the door and ran out to the parking lot.

Andrea and Daryl both shot up, but only Andrea went after her. Andrea caught her by the car, having a complete melt down. Everybody could see, so they pretended to not be paying attention. Anna covered her mouth at the sight of Iris and turned away, and Sam grasped her free hand. Carol watched the young girl and Andrea with tears in her eyes, and Sophia went to her, unable to watch it herself, and Carol wrapped her arms around her daughter. Daryl could only helplessly look on as his daughter broke down. Patrick saw and heard some of it from the roof, his fists clenching with anger directed at himself for causing this. At least some of this.

They watched as Shane exited the building to get them out of there. He gently helped Iris to her feet and into the car, Andrea got in the back with her, and he drove them home. The silence inside the restaurant was ear-piercing, and it set the mood for the rest of the evening.

– – –

Andrea stroked Iris's hair as she slept curled up beside her, head on a pillow in Andrea's lap, and she was cuddling her stuffed lion. Shane had made them some tea and then gone home to give them the space Iris needed. Andrea would call Daryl in the morning, but she needed to be here for Iris right now. She didn't know that this had been so hard this was on her. Well, she knew Iris was struggling, but Iris didn't really let it show. It finally blew up; Patrick's party being the unlucky domino that sent them all tumbling down.

Her poor baby girl. Andrea had never seen her like that. She needed to stop bottling things up. She hoped after tonight, she had a real, honest talk about all of this with Andrea. Andrea would relay all of it to Daryl, because she doubted Iris would open up with him in the room. In time she would be able to, but not so soon. It would be up to Iris in the end. She may not want to share with anybody. God, she hoped not. She hoped she, at least, told Sophia.

Closing her eyes, Andrea got comfortable. She would be sleeping sitting up tonight, because she didn't want to wake Iris. She was used to this from when Iris was a little girl and had bad dreams; Andrea would sooth her to sleep by stroking her hair or telling her a story. She had such horrible kinks in the morning. She knew how to handle them, so that was an upside.

––

Carol peered in on Sophia, who was passed out in Carol's bed with Honey, and she smiled. Sophia had been so distraught after seeing Iris melt down. Carol had called Andrea a few minutes ago, and they were doing a little better. It was reassuring. Iris was a tough, but everybody had a limit. She'd been through so much in such a little amount of time. Carol wanted to do what was best for her, and she knew where to start.

She had changed out of her clothes and in to some comfortable jeans and a dark red tank top. She picked up her jacket and a pair of shoes, causing Honey to lift her head, and Carol put a finger to her lip and whispered that she'd be back. If Honey were still a puppy, she'd have jumped off the beds and started jumping at Carol excitedly, yipping. Now that she was an adult, she understood a little better that Carol would be home soon, and she was pretty tired. She lied her head back down and watched Carol until she disappeared down the stairs.

Slipping in to the shoes and jacket, she found her keys and went for a drive. With the window down, the night air blew over her, and her grip on the steering wheel kept increasing until her knuckles were white. She loosened her fingers and tried to loosen the rigidness creeping up on her, but that wasn't so easily done.

Arriving at her destination, her heart was pounding in her throat, twisting dark vines in the pit of her stomach, and a dryness had settled in her throat. She drew in a long breath to sooth herself, almost chocking on the air, and she climbed the stairs that led to his front door, her fingers knotting together. She reached out and knocked on his door, the thorns sharp and twisting so badly she felt as though she were seconds from dry heaving. It was all in her head, but that didn't make this feeling any less powerful.

He answered the door and offered her a small smile, still thinking about what happened earlier today. "Come on in."

"Thanks." She closed the door behind her. "How are you?"

"As all right as I can be." He leaned on the back of the couch. "How's Iris? Do you know?"

"She's asleep by now. Andrea will call you in the morning."

"In the morning." He scoffed, though it sounded a bit more like an exasperated sigh, his words bitter.

"You want to be there now?"

"Yeah, I do, but what the hell could I do? I used to the only one who knew how to calm her down. Maggie had a hard time tryin', but I could do it so easy. Now...all I can do is watch and feel like shit. I hate it. I hate..."

"Yourself?" Carol finished when he didn't. "For not checking up on what Ruth told you?"

He didn't say yes, but he didn't have to.

"There was a little girl who came by my office last week. You know her. Mika Samuels. She was doing a report on women's shelters, and she wanted to interview me. I told her about my story, and when I was done she looked at me, smiled and told me that everything works out the way it's supposed to."

"So I'm just supposed to believe this was meant to happen?"

"If you still had Ella, you wouldn't be working at the shelter. If you weren't working at the shelter, I wouldn't have met you the day I tried to get away from my husband. If we never met you, I would have gone back to Ed. If I had gone back...Ed ultimately would have beaten me to death and Sophia would be...enduring abuse I don't even want to think about. Sophia may even have killed herself one day, because the abuse would have caused her to isolate herself. Iris would be in a different grade so they wouldn't be friends, and there wouldn't anybody to talk her out of it. My little girl would die too young and all alone, and Ed would be alive and would start over with a new wife and child one day."

He met her eyes. "You... That just came to you?"

"I've thought about it a lot in the past," she admitted.

"Shit." He dragged his hand over his face. "I never meant to—"

"I know." She walked over to him.

"No, let me say it." He grasped her hands. "I never meant imply that I'm not grateful every day that we met 'cause you and Sophia are two of the best things in my life. I...just wish this wasn't so hard, you know?"

"Yeah." She lifted her eyes from the floor. "I need to talk to you about that."

"I'm listenin'."

She cupped her hands behind his neck, tenderly stroking the nape of his neck. "You're very important to me too, Daryl, and you make me...so, so happy. I don't think a man's ever made me this happy before." He smiled a little, and she swallowed. "Which makes what I'm about to say very...very difficult."

He straightened, her hands falling to his shoulders. "What is it?"

Her hands moved down his shoulders and chest then fell to her sides. "With everything that's been going on lately, I think it'd be best if...we took a break."

He stepped away from her, brows furrowed, and he held a hand out between them, as sort of don't-you-move-I-need-to-get-this-straight gesture. He seemed to be processes her words—over processing them. The thorns began to settle in her stomach, the vines twisting so that it felt as if her entire stomach were made of thorns.

"D—"

He held up a finger then cold eyes met hers. "You want to break up?"

"No. No, that's not what I said."

"Sure, you left off the up, but that doesn't change much."

"It changes a lot," she persuaded. "I don't want to break up with you, Daryl. I just want...a break. Just space, you know? It'll be good for us."

"How in the hell could it be good for us?"

"It'll give us time to sort things out. It isn't a break up," she promised.

"Really? 'Cause I don't anybody ever comes back from a "break"." His eyes were so cold that she could feel the iciness, but she could see the silvery tears there. He didn't understand.

"It's for the best right now."

"Best for who, Carol?"

"All of us!" She tried to touch him, but he wouldn't let her, and she clasped her hands in front of her. "This isn't at all forever; it's just until you and Iris and Andrea work out your relationships. It's just until Iris is comfortable and in a stable place mentally. I don't want her trying to sort out what Andrea is to her and what you are to her and what I am to her on top of this mess with Patrick. She has so many things just thrust onto her, and I want to give her the choice to decide for once. I really believe this would benefit her right now and you as well."

He was breathing heavily, a redness around his eyes.

"You need to spend more time with her without worrying about cutting out time with me. With our relationship on pause, you can be there when Iris needs you or if Andrea needs to talk to you about Iris. You and Andrea will need to be on good terms, and not just forced ones. Iris is your daughter, but legally she's Andrea's too, so you'll need to be close. Andrea's a great person. I know you'll like her if you just take time to get to know her." She searched his eyes, trying to read him but failing. "Daryl, I know how much Iris means to you, and this will be good for you two. Don't you see that?"

He opened this mouth to speak, but he couldn't. Then he moved toward her, very hesitantly, and he bowed his head, trying to find words.

Carol wanted so badly to comfort him, but if that happened, it may lead somewhere, and they needed to be apart for all of their sake's. It wasn't forever. She just had to leave him with one more thing, something she couldn't keep to herself anymore. "Daryl, I lo—"

"Does this have anythin' to do with Axel?" His tone was deep, dark even, and his fists were clenched.

"W—what?" Carol stammered, hoping that she had heard incorrectly.

"This break...is it 'cause of him?"

"No." She was gritting her teeth. "This is because of Iris and how much I love her and Andrea and you. I just want to ease this processes as much as I can. I've been thinking about this long before Axel came back. And he's just a good friend."

"So was I once."

"I don't feel that way about him. He—"

"Takes you out to lunch? Comes by your office with flowers? Is around to be there for you?"

She glared. "Do you really think I would ever cheat on you? Frankly, if you think any of those things mean more to me than you...maybe we should break up, because you clearly do not know me at all."

His face filled instantly with regret, and he fell silent.

"I'm going home." She moved away from him. "Good night."

"Carol—"

"If you wanted to save us from the break, you wouldn't have made this about Axel."

Daryl, feet seemingly nailed to the floor, watched her leave, and he felt a weight crush his chest as her car pulled out of the driveway. She was really gone. What did he just do? What the hell did he just do?!

– – –

Andrea let Iris stay home from school the following Monday, and Iris was left alone. She wanted to be, and Mom had to meet with her boss or a client or something. Iris was way too distracted to even care. She was sitting on her bed, the windows casting in a lot of sunlight that warmed the floor and her thighs through her light blue jeans. She was wearing one of her track hoodies with her hair in a ponytail. Her comfort clothes, as Mom called them. She used to wear sweats, but it was too damn hot for sweats, so they were saved for the winter.

There was a knock on the door, and she wondered who it was. It certainly wasn't Daryl. He was coming over later, and they agreed to talk about last night then. Mom wouldn't send Shane over, and Sophia was at school. Iris was occasionally texting her. Carol had gone in to work early today. She came by the house at like five to tell Mom something, and she looked really bad. Like she didn't get any sleep. Like how Iris looked. She prayed that didn't mean what she thought it meant. If it did, she was going to kick a grown man's ass tonight.

Swinging off the bed, she padded down the stairs to see who it was. She pulled the door open and stared with wide eyes. Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Patrick smiled at her. "Hey."

"What the fuck are you doing here?" It just fell out.

He laughed. "It's nice to see you too."

"Seriously, Patrick, what are you doing here?"

"Could I come inside?"

"Umm, sure, but...we have to stay down here. Mom doesn't want you in my room since we've gone all the way." _What the hell are you saying? Shut up. He doesn't care about that. He's just hear to hopefully crush you some more and then catch a flight to Arizona!_

"Andrea's not here," he reminded her.

"Well, we wouldn't be doing anything anyway." She led him to the living room. "What's up? Your flight get delayed?"

"No. No, I'm not catching any flight."

"What?" Her heart stopped. Oh, no. No, no, no. He didn't.

"I told my parents off last night and told them I'm staying here, with Aunt Anna until I graduate then I'm my own problem." He looked so proud, and it made her heart flutter. "I'm going to work in the restaurant to save up for an apartment of my own, and I have to work all day to unpack my things at my aunt's, but it's going to be worth it."

"That's amazing, Patrick. I'm—I'm really proud of you."

He reached out and grasped her hand. "I want to thank you. All of the things you've said to me...finally got to me last night. When I saw you...like that and my aunt... I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt either of you. I'm going to make it up to you. I promise."

She pulled her hand back. "I am so proud of you, but...a lot's changed."

"What do you mean?"

"Patrick...you were willing to break my heart less than fifteen hours ago, and now that you've realized you're their doormat, you think that makes us okay?"

"No. No, of course not. I—I know I have a lot to ap—"

"Don't apologize. We broke up last night, and I think it's best if we continue to be broken up." She stepped away from him, her hands slipping into her pockets.

"Iris, I want to make this work. I don't want to break up."

"Too bad. When one half wants to break up, you break up."

"But...I love you."

"See, now I don't think that's true." She bit her the inside of her cheek to keep the tears back. "You were going to leave me for good, so I don't think you ever really loved me."

"I thought I didn't have a choice."

"That's bullshit. You knew you _always_ had a choice. And you made it: _them._ I'm sorry, but you can't just erase that." She bit down harder. "You should go. I have things to do."

"You can't be serious."

"I am." She walked to the front door, swallowing back the emotions she was barely keeping at bay, and she opened the door. "I'll see you at school."

He just nodded, though she could see the tears in his eyes. "Right. I—I'm sorry to have interrupted you. I'll...see you at school." He left and didn't look back.

She closed the door and locked it, the tears falling now that she was alone. She shook her head and covered her face with her sleeves. She had to do that. She had to break it off for his own good. She slid to the floor and sobbed. She didn't want to do that, but sometimes you have to do things for someone else's own good, even if you can never tell them why.

She sucked in a shaky breath, pulling it all back inside, and she looked at the clock. She needed Sophia. School let out soon. She scrambled to her feet and hurried upstairs, grabbing her purse and keys. She changed out of her comfort clothes, and since she didn't want to bother with her hair so she pulled it loose of its ponytail and tugged down a beanie. She adjusted it and her eyes moved over to her nightstand. She picked up the small plastic stick and inhaled deeply before grabbed its box and putting it back inside. She buried it deep inside her purse and headed for Sophia's.

She would need to explain it to somebody, and her best friend was the only person she could trust right now. Well, perhaps trust wasn't the right word. Sophia was the only person in the entire world she knew wouldn't judge her for even a second, and she had to talk about last night. It wasn't Patrick leaving that made her breakdown. It was that not only had she been told her mom wasn't her birth mom and that her mom's best friend's boyfriend was her biological father, but it was piecing together that she was pregnant. And this pregnancy would ultimately ruin all of their live. She thought it would be easier if he was gone, but he was staying now; so she had to push him away until she figured out what the hell she was going to do, and by then he wouldn't want anything to do with her. It's what she had to do, because she loved him.


	13. Gut Instinct

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

By the time Iris made it to Sophia's house, she was climbing out of Ryan's car, and they headed inside together. Sophia stocked up on pudding and a bottle of water on the way, and Iris dug out the pregnancy test, and Sophia dropped all of it onto her bed. It was thankfully all unopened.

"Oh, my God." She paled.

"It's positive too, by the way, but I think you already got that."

"Iris." She fell back onto her bed. "You're... Oh, my God."

"Sophia, I need your help," Iris pleaded. "Please, you're the only person I can turn to. If my mom finds out, she'll be so disappointed. She'll get that look that turns me in to mush, or maybe one that's even worse, and I can't take that right now."

Sophia stared at the test with wide eyes.

"Shit, Sophia, are you listening to me? Don't go in to shock on me! I need you!"

"I—I—I'm here."

"Good. Me too. And I'm fucking pregnant! I need to—to just, like, abort the—the thing." She paced the length of Sophia's bed. "What the hell do I do? Do I made an appointment? Or do I just go in and be all like, 'Hey, I need you to eliminate the lump of cells growing inside of me because I'm an irresponsible piece of teenage garage whose boyfriend didn't know his parents hadn't gotten laid since the nineties; so of course the contraceptive was a piece of shit, and of fucking course I forgot to take my birth control—because clearly I am a dumbass—so, yeah, needle me up'?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. Breathe."

"I am breathing. Can you _not_ hear me? I sound like that loud kid from our second period who runs everywhere. I'm a knocked up piece of out of shape trash! And I'm a long distance runner." She tugged her beanie down over her eyes. "Jesus, crap, I'm pregnant. _Fuck_!"

"Would you calm down?!" She shot off her bed and closed the window. "I've got neighbors who talk to my mom regularly. I don't need them to think I'm the one who's pregnant."

She lifted the beanie, eyes watering. "Sophia, I'm scared." She dropped her hands. "Really freaking scared. What am I going to do? How can I just...?" She set her hands on her stomach. "It's my baby, but... it'll ruin everything, just like me."

"What? Iris, no—"

"I...am a goddamn mistake, Sophia, and don't tell me I'm not. I know that I am. Everything I do...is one massive fuck-up after another." She inhaled deeply. "This baby should be alive right now, and I should be the one about to be aborted."

"No! Don't you dare say that!" Sophia snapped. "I love you, damn it! Andrea loves you. Mom loves you! Patrick freaking loves you! Don't you dare say that!"

She crumbled to the floor, and Sophia dropped to her knees beside her. "God, help me, please. Please, help me." She buried her face in her hands on Sophia's lap, sobbing. "How can this be happening? How could I do this to him? To Mom?"

Sophia stroked her hair and understood now why Iris was so scared. It wasn't for herself. It wasn't because of how this might affect her future. It was about Andrea and Patrick. He was a senior with a world of possibilities before him. One word about that little sperm fertilizing a little egg would send all of that crashing down. His dreams would be put on the back burner, all of his hard work would have been for almost nothing, and she thinks he would assume it would be her fault.

And Andrea. Sophia had heard her talking about bills with her mom a lot. She worked her ass off to finish paying for their house and for something for Iris—a car, Sophia had guessed—and some other things. She was always drowning in some new bill, and Iris must have known that too. It wasn't hard to not know. Andrea even brought it up once when they were fighting. Iris told her when they started speaking again. If Iris was pregnant, did she think Andrea was going to hate her? Because the baby would be so expensive? Because Iris actually hadn't been careful enough?

God, how could she think like that? How could anybody think like that? What about her own life? Didn't she think about that? She was going to abort the baby just so Patrick could lead the life he's been working on for seventeen years, and so Andrea can try and manage all their bills without this added burden, and so Iris can...what? She would kill part of herself forever...for someone else's happiness.

Sophia wrapped an arm around her shoulders. _You stupid, brave jerk._ It was never about what she wanted; it was all about someone else. If she kept the baby, he would find out, and he would drop everything to help her. If she had the baby and gave it up, she would grow to resent herself for not being there. There was no real winning here. She was so willing to throw herself away for somebody else. _God, help her. Guide her, God, please. Please._

"Shh." Sophia gently rocked her to comfort her, trying to soothe her like she'd soothe Harris, but Iris was sobbing for so many things. The turmoil inside of her... there was no soothing it by simply rocking. No, it would take time and love from the people who would give her all the love and time in the world. "Shhh."

"I'm a horrible person," Iris wheezed, squeezing her eyes shut. "I'm such a—horrible person."

"No, you're not." Sophia shot back. "You're a good person, and—and for all you know it's a false positive."

"What?" She lifted her head.

"It could be false. I mean, did you only take one?"

"I stole it from my neighbor."

"Iris!"

"What? If I bought it, word would have gotten back to Mom, and I would be in the hot seat right now."

"You might be anyway."

"I left money behind."

She shook her head. "Look, Mom told me she took about three pregnancy tests to make sure she was actually pregnant. We'll just get you two more, and it'll be fine."

"What if only tells me I'm pregnant twice more?" She wiped her hand under her nose.

"Then we'll deal with it together. We'll come up with...something. I don't know, but let's just make sure, okay?"

"How often does a teenager get a false positive?"

"I don't know. I don't think many teenagers take pregnancy tests."

"True. I'm gonna look it up."

Sophia smiled. "You do that, but with your luck, this is all just a misunderstanding. Seriously, Iris, you've been through so much, and this is probably wrong, so we'll get it sorted."

"It wasn't _all_ bad luck," Iris muttered.

"I know. Ugh, I need to figure out how we're going to get two more pregnancy tests without alerting either of ours mom. Or resorting to theft."

"Does your mom know any middle aged women who are trying to get pregnant?"

"I just said no stealing."

"We could pay them back!"

"Iris."

She smiled, feeling better. "Okay, no stealing, but I _did_ pay her back, so it was more of a trade."

"Fine, no one-sided trading." She exhaled. "Wait, wait, wait! I have an idea on how to get one."

"How?"

"The shelter. There's a woman who might be pregnant there, and I overheard Mom telling Maggie she'd buy a test or something. The woman left today, so Mom probably left the test here."

Iris yanked Sophia back down. "No! Bad idea! She'll know it's missing!"

"Please, it's the last thing on her mind."

"Why? What's the first thing on her mind?"

"A fight with Daryl."

"What happened? Was it because of me?"

"I don't think so, but she didn't tell me anything. She just had that look. Daryl's the only one who makes her look like that. I hate it, but it's better than how her previous partner made her look." Sophia's jaw tightened. "I—I'll get the test. You drink that water. If you can't pee after that, drink more water."

"You're still mad about Ed?"

"I'm still mad that I couldn't do more to protect her." She climbed to her feet. "I'll be right back."

Iris picked up the water and prayed that it was just some weird fluke thing. Like it was a really old pregnant test or something. She had no idea. Could pregnancy tests even work like that? Maybe not, but she hoped it was wrong. It had to be wrong. She couldn't be pregnant. She was sixteen, and pregnant was not on the agenda. Trying to get in to a decent college and getting a car was, and a baby interrupted both. She couldn't handle that on top of everything, but if she wasn't pregnant, she just...broke up with Patrick for good for no real reason. Damn it! She should have come to Sophia sooner. She was the one who was good under pressure.

Grudgingly, Iris chugged the bottle of water.

Sophia scanned her mom's bedroom and decided to check the master bathroom first. She only found the normal things, and Mom wouldn't have hidden them in the bottom drawer she kept locked. Sophia didn't know what she kept in there, but she didn't want to guess either. It was Mom's business, and she needed to find that bag. Mom wouldn't have hid them somewhere where Honey couldn't chew them up, so what did she do with them?

She checked her mom's closet and grinned at the hanging bag. Mom always tossed stuff in here. Just not Christmas presents. Sophia used to try and find her hiding places, but she never did. Mom was the master at hiding gifts. Hopefully Sophia would have that ability too when she grew up and had a family of her own.

She found a couple tests in the bag and pulled one out, hurrying back to Iris. Her bedroom was empty so she searched downstairs and found Iris chugging from the pitcher. "God, Iris, slow down."

She swallowed and explained, "No, I was looking for more to drink, and I tried that chili in the fridge. God, who made that and why do they hate people?"

"Axel made it." She snickered. "I wrote on the lid."

"It looked really good." She groaned. "And I haven't eaten all day."

"Why not?"

"Well, I thought my boyfriend left the state then I remembered that I might be carrying his child. I've had knots in my stomach all day. Talking to you made me feel a little better. It could all be a misunderstanding, and it looked really good. I'll never make that mistake again." She tilted her head back to down more water.

"You drink milk if eat something hot anyway, dork."

"You don't have any."

"Oh. Mom must have used the rest of it. Anyway, here." She held out the box.

"I don't have to pee. I'm too nervous."

"All right, drink up."

"By the way, Patrick's not moving."

Her eyes widened. "What?" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, he came by my house this morning." She wiped water from her mouth. "He told his parents off and is living with his aunt."

"That's incredible! You must be... Oh, no."

"Yeah. Almost makes me wish this was real."

"I'm sorry."

"I should have come to you sooner. You're the smart one." She tucked hair behind her ear.

"You're smart too, Iris."

"It wouldn't have mattered," she muttered. "We would have broken up either way. I mean, he's going to college in a few months, and it'd be best for him to be single. He can...explore himself more."

"Patrick? Explore? You do know who you're talking about, right?" Sophia mused.

She laughed. "True."

"Once the results come back, we'll eat ice cream and listen to The Script, okay? Positive or negative."

"This is why I love you."

She smiled. "Get to drinking."

"Aye, aye."

– – –

"Carol?" Maggie poked her head into her office.

"Yes?"

"I need a favor."

"What is it?"

"I need you to take a day off," Maggie answered. "Seriously, you need to take a day off. Or a week off. You're working too much, and it's not good for you."

"I'm fine, Maggie. I'm busy anyway. I can't just leave."

"Then come have lunch with me."

"I'm not hungry."

"Too bad. I made too much, and I want company. You're it. C'mon."

She shook her head, but went with Maggie. Her office already held Patricia, Axel and Daryl. She had purposefully made too much so they could all have lunch together. She forgot that about once every other month, Maggie did this. She had it marked on her calendar, but she was trying to focus on Sophia's birthday party tomorrow, so of course she forgot. If only she could forgot about how she felt toward the man leaning against the far wall of Maggie's office.

Carol wasn't really hungry, but she had a plate just to be polite. The desk had been cleared and was now their lunch table; Axel sat next to her and Patricia and Maggie were on the other end with Daryl. Carol didn't have to work to not look at him, because Axel was talking to her, and she was happy for the distraction.

"Do you need any help for tomorrow?" He kept his voice low, but only because Maggie and Patricia were talking about something to do with Beth. He didn't want their voices overlapping. "Setting up?"

"I'd love help." She smiled. "I don't have anybody who can lend me a hand before the party. I have to keep Sophia out of the house, but Andrea already figured that one out. For setting up the house once Sophia's gone, I am entirely alone, so yes I need help, and thank you so much."

He nodded. "I'll come by after Sophia leaves."

"Thank you. I was a little worried I'd have to do it all myself, and I don't like ladders." She didn't like heights or confined places.

He chuckled at the face she made. "I could use something to pass time."

"How are you?" She leaned closer to him, not wanting the others to hear. "What we talked about...are you okay?"

He shrugged. "I don't know."

She set her hand over his. "I'm here if you want to talk about it." She smiled at him and rubbed his hand with her thumb.

There was a scraping sound when Daryl shot out of his seat and hustled out of the room, Maggie frowned, and Carol exhaled. Irrationally jealous as always. She stood up to talk to him, but Axel said he'd handle it, and Carol almost laughed. He was being kind, but Daryl would kick his ass if he went to talk to him. She'd rather not watch Axel be held by his shirt with an angry redneck in his face.

She caught Daryl in the parking lot. "You're just leaving? You're not even going to tell Maggie you're going?"

"Doesn't matter. She has Axel." He said Axel like he was magical fairy—that he wanted to shoot.

"What's your problem now?"

"Nothin', just don't wanna be here today."

"You are so childish!" she snapped. "You're being jealous for nothing!"

"It sure didn't look like nothin'."

"I was comforting him."

"For what? That hair choice?"

She glared. "His brother was arrested for armed robbery." Daryl looked like he was waiting for this to get interesting, and Carol pressed her lips together. "His brother doesn't own a gun. He used a toy gun, but they found a gun that "matched the description". His brother won't survive prison, and typically friends comfort each other in times of distress."

Daryl just shrugged. "Well, have fun with that. I gotta go pick up _my_ brother."

"Right, why would you care what happens to a total stranger?" She crossed her arms. "You can pretend to not care all you want, but I know you."

"Do you?"

"You do realize _you're the only one_ making this worse, right? And I know it's just how you protect yourself, but that won't make anything better."

"Quit tryin' to shrink me. You don't know me."

"I can guess." She studied his face. "Goodbye, Daryl. And remember that _I'm not yours_ to get jealous over anymore."

He reached over and caught her wrist. "Wait."

She turned to him. "What? You have to pick up your brother, so go pick Merle up. I'll tell Maggie something came up, and you had to leave." She pulled her wrist free.

He watched her walk away for the second time and lowered his eyes, lingering for a moment before leaving to go pick up his brother. He needed a drink, and Merle was the best drinking buddy.

– – –

"I think I'm hydrated enough to never drink water again." Sophia laughed, and Iris poked at her stomach. "I can feel it in my stomach. That's weird."

They were on Sophia's bed, lying so that Sophia's feet were by Iris's face, and Iris's feet were by Sophia's. They were just waiting now, talking about Carl and how weird Iris's belly felt and avoiding all things Patrick. It was hard to do since the entire reason Iris had come over was because Patrick might have gotten her pregnant.

"You've known Daryl a long time, right?" Iris propped her feet up on Sophia's headboard.

"Yeah, about six years."

"Have you ever met his brother in that time?"

"Merle?"

"Unless he has another brother I don't know about."

"He doesn't. And no. I've never met Merle before." She crossed her ankles. "I doubt I ever will."

"Did they break up?" Iris whispered, feeling tears already burning in her eyes at the thought of either of them in pain right now.

"Mom and Daryl?"

"Yeah."

"I want to say no, and while I don't know for sure...part of me thinks yes."

"Why?" A tear rolled down her cheek. Was it her fault? Iris's parentage was the only change in their lives right now, so that had to be it. She knew they had other problems that didn't involve her, but she knew Carol. And she knew herself, and Daryl might be like that too. If not worse.

"My guess is they had a really big fight, and Daryl said the wrong thing. I mean, he would've had to have insulted Mom in some way. Otherwise they would have talked it out. Maybe they are talking it out right now. I don't really know, but I hope so. I love Daryl, and I don't want to have to sneak around to hang out with him." She stacked her hands on her stomach. "And more importantly...I can tell that Mom loves him. Kinda like how you love Patrick."

"Well, shit." She rubbed at her eyes.

"It's not your fault." Sophia grasped her free hand. "They're adults, and the real problem most likely didn't have anything to do with you."

"Most likely?"

"It didn't. I know it didn't. Daryl's a dummy sometimes, and Mom's stubborn. They'll work it. I'm sure of it."

Before Iris could say anything—not that she had anything to say—her phone beeped. They both sat up together, hands overlapped, and Iris met her gaze. Neither of them moved, but they would have to soon because eventually Carol would come home from work, and this was the last thing they wanted Carol to catch them doing.

Iris slid off the bed, and Sophia crawled over to join her, taking her hand so she knew she wasn't alone, and Iris squeezed her hand, unable to look.

"You do it." Iris turned away. "I can't."

Sophia nodded and leaned forward to read what it said. She exhaled that was like a laugh and hugged Iris. "It's negative."

"What?" Iris wrapped an arm around Sophia and saw the test over her shoulder. "Oh, my God."

Sophia held her at arm's length. "Are you all right?"

"I...don't really know how I feel." Her eyes were glued to the test. "I think I need to sit down."

"I'll get you something to eat, and I'll bury this in the trash."

"No, I'll get rid of it. I don't want you to get in to any trouble for me. I'll dispose it at school tomorrow or something."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." She faked a smile. "But seriously, food sounds great."

"I know. I'll be right back."

Iris waited until Sophia was gone to exhaled her disappointment. It wasn't just that she _again_ ended things with Patrick, or that they might not get back together. It wasn't about Mom and their money situation either. She wasn't sure if she wanted the baby, but the possibility was... It gave her an emotion she hadn't ever felt before, but it wasn't real. It was just...bad luck. Or the universe proving once again it's a giant dick.

The weird part was...she didn't believe it was really negative. She didn't know why, and while the negative stared back at her, she felt it was wrong. She didn't know how that was possible, but in her gut, it was. Maybe it would just be simpler to have her doctor draw blood and do a test or whatever. But then Mom would find out and she would get lectured to death. She told Mom they'd been safe, and they had been, but seriously, his parents must never sleep in that bed together ever. Maybe they budded Patrick, like some plants do or something.

She threw her head back and groaned, falling back onto the bed. Honestly, it was better this way. Mom couldn't afford for her to be pregnant. Babies are super expensive, and Mom's still paying off one bill or another. And Patrick _did_ need to be single when he graduated. He needed to experiment and grow and learn about himself. And she needed to just adjust to her new life. They needed this space, and who knows, maybe in ten years they'd get back together or something. Like Ross and Rachel. Well, the final episode Ross and Rachel.

Sophia returned a few minutes later with Chinese food from last night, two spoons and two cans of pop. "Thought you might like something hot."

"Good thinking." She took the can of pop and a spoon. "How was school? Did I miss anything?"

"Boring lectures, boring notes, a pep rally during break and that's it."

"Lair. Interesting things happen when I miss school, but when I'm there...tumbleweed literally floats through the halls."

"I know what you mean." She crossed her legs and set the box of fried rice between them. "Are you going to tell Patrick about the scare?"

"Nope." She took a big bite of rice.

"Why not?"

"We'd break up eventually, and I'd rather try and get over him now."

"You're being stupid. He'd understand, no matter what you told him."

"Yeah, but then I'd have to tell him that I didn't want him involved in his child's life. That makes me look like an asshole." She couldn't get an abortion. It...just wasn't something she could do.

"How about Andrea? Or Daryl?"

"No! That's weird. I hate talking to Mom about stuff like that. It freaks me out."

"Why?"

"Because it just does."

"You're such a child."

"I'm a year older than you so what does that make you?"

"Tired." She smirked.

"You know what's gonna suck most about going back to school?"

"What?"

"Knowing he's in all of my classes, even the same lunch." She sniffed. "It's too late to transfer out of any of them now."

"You've got me in those classes too," Sophia reminded her. "I'm there with you."

"It's not his fault, and I made it seem like it was. I need to apologize to him without...letting him know that I thought I was pregnant."

"You'll think of something. You always do."

"Yeah, I don't think filling his locker with _I'm sorry_ balloons and confetti is a good idea." She laughed with Sophia and wiped at the tears the fell. "That may only make him more mad."

"You can always write him a note. Or say it to him."

She sighed. "I think a note would be best. If he doesn't rip it up and throw it in the trash."

"He's not that childish. He'll want to know what you had to say."

"Yeah."

"We have a meet tomorrow." She opened her pop. "That'll take your mind off of him."

"While I'm running. He'll be right beside me the rest of the time."

"Yeah, I'll be there too. Lizzie too. Plus, you'll have Andrea and Mom and Daryl cheering you on. You won't even notice him."

"I've always noticed him. I could be blind a still notice him." She was tempted to just shovel the rice in. "I think I got that from Daryl. The whole...protect the one you love, even if that means you have to hurt them."

"You're your own person, Iris."

"I know, but he does it too. We have that in common."

They shared the fried rice and drank their pop, and Iris threw the empty container and cans away. They were back to lying down on the bed and staring at the ceiling with music playing now. They were side by side, just enjoying the lyrics and thinking.

"Iris?" Sophia whispered.

"Hmm?"

"You didn't forget, did you?"

"Forget?" She looked over at her. "Forget what?"

"The day after tomorrow," Sophia pressed without saying too much.

"You turn sixteen." She nodded. "Of course I didn't forget. I already got you a gift, and I think you'll love it."

She exhaled. "I was worried you'd forgotten with all of the excitement lately."

"Never."

"I know Mom hasn't forgotten. I hope she gets to enjoy it."

"Yeah, if anybody needs a day to relax and just enjoy the little things it's your mom."

"Do you wanna stay for dinner?"

"I can't. Daryl's coming over tomorrow for dinner, and Mom wants me to help her find something to make."

"Preparation."

"Yeah, I need to soak that in from her, because I am the most unprepared person in the entire world."

"Well, if you get caught in silence again, you can almost let it slip to Daryl that you had sex with Patrick again."

"Shut up!" She smacked her, and she laughed. "You are not funny! You're my best friend, Sophia. You're not supposed to laugh at my mistakes."

"I beg to differ."

"I hope you never have to deal with anything that awkward, even if you're an asshole."

"I'd talk about the weather in that kind of situation. Or school. Or my long term goals. Literally anything other than my boyfriend."

"Like you have anything to tell."

"You don't know that."

She narrowed her eyes. "You have something to tell?"

She innocently shrugged.

"Sophia, I told you! I've told you everything."

"Me too. I was just teasing you!" She laughed. "Your face was so worth it."

"Oof." She smacked Sophia with a pillow. "Asshole."

She laughed louder now.

– – –

Merle was different. It wasn't in his manner of speaking or how he held himself. No, it was something else. Something only someone who had known him before Ella could recognize. Daryl couldn't put his finger on it, but that could be because of the whiskey. He couldn't remember the last thing he'd gotten this drunk. It wasn't entirely a good thing either.

"When do I get to meet her?" Merle peered at his brother, taking a drink of his beer. "My niece, I mean."

"Uh...maybe tomorrow. She has a track meet, so maybe after. I'll bring her to back to my place."

"How is the kid?"

"She's good. Real different, but...still kinda the same. I don't know how to describe it. You'll know what I'm talkin' 'bout when you meet her."

"Shit, man. This is insane." He didn't believe it when Daryl told him the first time and now it felt even more implausible. After all this time his little ass kicking niece, the little potato who used to drool on his car keys, was alive and sixteen and in track. Goddamn, how was this not bullshit? He would know when he saw her.

"Yeah." He licked his lips. "Her name's Iris now."

"I know. You told me. Seven times." He chuckled. "You're wasted, little brother. How long has it been?"

He shrugged. "A while. Carol don't...like the alcohol. I reckon Ed stank like it."

"Carol, huh?"

"Don't say her name like that."

"Like what?"

"In that way you do. She... She means a lot to me." He heaved a sigh. "She's been good for me."

"I ain't ever met her, but from what you've told me—"

"No buts," Daryl cut him off. "Not with that tone. She's a good person."

"Daryl, you—"

"I blew it, Merle, not her." He twisted the glass in on the table between his hands. "It was me. I fuckin' blew it."

Merle frowned. "How? When?"

"Last night." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I got jealous, said the wrong thing. I shoulda just told her. I shoulda just said it."

"Said what?"

"That I love her 'cause I do. I love her, and...now it's all a goddamn mess. I keep makin' it worse, and I dunno how it make it better. I don't want to push her away." He wanted to just talk to her, like a normal person would, like Axel could, but he couldn't find the words and his walls came rumbling back up. He didn't know how to stop them. For the longest time, they were all he had. They were all that kept him sane, all that made the world a little more tolerable, all that made things okay with what happened to him. Maybe there was no ridding himself of them. Maybe he was just meant to push people away for the rest of his life and die alone.

Merle sighed, seeing a darkness in his brother's eyes. He knew that look. It was time to go. "Let's get you home." He stood up and offered Daryl a hand.

He lifted his head and saw over Merle's shoulder. "It's him."

"What now?" He followed Daryl's gaze to a man across the bar.

"That shithead who likes Carol," Daryl responded.

"Has he tried anythin' on her?"

He shrugged lazily. "They held hands, but—" Daryl realized then why Merle had asked and shot out of the booth, but was too late to stop Merle from punching Axel in the face. "Merle!" He hurried over to them and grabbed his brother, wincing at the sight of blood on Axel's mouth. Ah, fuck. "Stop!"

"Just a warnin'," Merle assured him. "You try anythin' on Carol, and I'll beat your ass."

"Merle!" Daryl growled and forced him back. "Get off of him!"

"Just doin' you a favor, little brother."

He glowered at his brother then turned to Axel. "I'm real sorry about that."

He wiped blood from his mouth. "Isn't the first time I've been punched by a stranger surprisingly."

"You okay?"

"Yeah." He glanced over Daryl. "Are you okay to drive home?"

He nodded and stepped toward his brother, repressing the urge to punch him. He had already pissed Carol off once today. He didn't need to do it again. Son of a bitch. She would think he did this on purpose. Could this night get any worse?

He buried his face in his hands once outside and cursed before digging out his keys and making Merle drive. He just wanted to get home and sleep this off and pretend Axel wasn't going tell Carol the truth, not that it would matter. His jaw would bruise, and Carol would ask about it. She'd know. She always knew. Fuck!

– – –

Carol was rearranging her files in her office. She was about to head out and get things ready for the meet. She had to pick up a few more decorations for the party as well. The cake had been ordered, and the invites sent out. She knew this would be great. She was glad to have this distraction. She would be sad when her party over. Her mind would go back the other night with Daryl. That was the last thing she wanted to think about.

"Excuse me?"

She closed the filing cabinet and spin around to find a man in the doorway. He wore a unbuttoned black shirt, a gray undershirt revealed and worn tan pants. His boots were worn too, and they appeared to be very muddy. It wasn't any of those things that caught her attention. No, it was his eyes. The same eyes as Daryl. This would be the brother then. Why was he here?

"You must be Carol." He tapped his finger on the door where her name was.

"Yes, I am. Do you need something?"

"Yeah." He chuckled and entered the room, pulling the door closed. "You know who I am, right?"

She nodded. "You're Daryl's brother."

"I am." He smiled. "Name's Merle."

"Pleasure." She returned his smile. "Daryl's not here yet."

"I know. I came to talk to you."

"Oh? What about?"

"Your little friend Axel."

"You got his jaw pretty bad," Carol stated. "It was swollen _and_ bruised."

"He's here?"

"No, he came by my place after the bar. I needed a favor, and he did a poor job of hiding it. He told me what happened."

"Then you know Daryl had nothin' to do with it. He stopped me."

"I know. Is that why you came here?"

"Partly. I also came to apologize to you."

"You don't need to. You need to apologize to Axel."

"No, I meant to do that to him. I wanted to apologize for that being the first thing you heard about me. Well, that's a fact, not rumor."

"What, are you a decent guy?"

"Sometimes."

"I don't disbelieve it, but you punched one of my good friends...why?"

"I've never seen Daryl like this, and I didn't want your friend to ruin it."

"Axel hasn't ruined anything," Carol hissed. "And you don't get to decide who I date by beating them up—not that I want to date Axel, or...anybody right now—but that doesn't matter, just stay out of it. Daryl's the one who's ruined things. He's unreasonably jealous and has trust issues." For pete's sake they were best friends for five years, and suddenly all of that bond and trust was gone? Not for her, so why for him?

Merle knew then what the problem was. "Don't be too hard on him. My baby brother's lost everything to everyone."

"What do you mean?"

"Just that it ain't all jealousy, Carol. It's fear too."

"What does he have to be afraid of?"

"Again I'm real sorry for my behavior. It'll be better in the future." He held his hand out, and seeing that he wasn't going to answer her question, she shook it. "I just wanted to meet you, Carol. See what all the fuss was about."

"And?"

"I get it." He smirked. "Have a good day."

She smiled a little. "You too, Mr. Dixon."

He chuckled as he strolled out, and Carol wondered what he meant about Daryl being both jealous and fearful. What was he hiding from her?

"Carol." Maggie came to a halt. "I need a favor."

"I'm sorry. I can't."

"Just an hour. Please, I need to get some medicine, and I'd send you to get it, but the entire matter is personal. I'm sorry. I just need you here and to watch him." She held up a carrier with a baby boy inside. "Please. I'll do anythin'."

"Fine, but if you're not back in an hour, I won't do this again."

"Thank you." She hugged her and handed over the carrier before running out the door again.

She blew out a sight and set the carrier on her desk and smiled at the little baby, wondering where his mother was. Maggie was probably getting the medicine for her. Poor woman. She'd pray for her. "Hey, you cozy in there?"

– – –

"We're leaving early for the meet." Carl opened his carton of orange juice. "I hope we miss that test."

"All we do anymore is test," Iris complained. "I have tests coming out of my ass."

Sophia giggled. "We get to avoid the test. I talked to Tara, and we're gonna miss it."

"Good, because I couldn't study last night." Carl rubbed his eye. "Judith wouldn't stop crying. All night. How in the hell can a human cry that much? She wore me out, and I was two rooms down."

"Poor Lori." Iris saw Patrick coming out of the lunch line with Lizzie. "Umm...I have to use the bathroom."

"He's not gonna sit with us," Carl assured her.

"He's not?" She was disappointed.

"Oh, he's totally gonna sit with us. I was just trying to give you a sense of security before he did."

"I'm going to make you eat dirt."

Lizzie took Patrick's usual seat and opened the container of salad, picking out the freaky chunks of meat and cherry tomatoes. "Anybody want those?"

"No," they all groaned in unison.

"I want some Skittles. Anybody else want something?" Sophia asked, pulling her money out of her pocket.

"A cherry Dr. Pepper." Carl handed over money for it.

"Some chips." Lizzie smiled pleadingly. "I'll pay you back. Mika has my purse, 'cause...lady problems, and I forgot to grab my wallet."

"All right, but I'm picking the flavor."

"Fair enough."

"Patrick?" Sophia called. "Anything?"

"No. I'm good." His eyes drifted to Iris.

"I'll go with you. I kinda want a bag of cookies." She fell in to step with her. "Why give us these healthy lunches and then stock the machines with junk?"

"Our captors are kind."

"Or they just like our money."

"True."

"I'm so, so, so, so glad we get out before the test. I didn't study last night."

"You okay?"

"Mm-hmm. I just couldn't concentrate." Or sleep. "Did you study?"

"A little." She handed her Carl's money. "Get his drink, please. I need think what I'm going to get Lizzie."

She smiled. "Get her that one. The bag looks pretty old, and if they're not, they're gross anyway."

"Good idea." If they weren't as old as the bag looked, then they had a weird taste Iris said. That's just what Lizzie would like. She has acquired tastes.

Iris purchased the cherry pop Carl wanted, feeling someone watching her, and she hoped it was Lizzie. She had a feeling it wasn't, but she wasn't going to look. She returned with Sophia and tossed her lunch, heading to the bathroom. She was tempted to fake being sick to just go home. She thought today would be easy, but it was just a nightmare. At least with track she didn't have to sit beside Patrick and take notes with and do a lab with him. Why today of all days were they being so hands on and partnered up? Ugh. She couldn't wait for the sweet release of track being dismissed.

––

Daryl dragged himself to Maggie's office to have a word with her, and he froze at the sight of Carol at her desk with a baby. He didn't know she was going to be in today. She wasn't supposed to be. Why was she still here? Shouldn't she be at home? And why did she have a baby? He really didn't want to see her, not after last night. Damn it, now he would have to explain. Well, he wanted to explain what had happened, but he didn't know what to day. He hadn't thought it over yet. Shit.

"You—you're here?"

"Same as you." She leaned on the desk. "You look like crap, by the way. Long night?"

"Yeah."

"Is there anything I can do for you? I have some aspirin."

"Oh, nah. No, I'm okay. Just...a little tired."

"Uh-huh."

"Did—did Axel talk to you?"

"Yes. He's fine. Nothing broken, just bruised." She smiled down at the baby, not looking at him. "He'll be in at two. You can talk more about it with him."

"Girls have a meet today," he replied. "I won't be here at two."

"So you're going?"

"Yeah." He started for the door. "I guess I'll see you then."

"Did you help him because it was the right thing to do, or did you do it for me?"

He gulped. "Bit of both."

She nodded. "Honesty. I respect that. Thank you for stepping in. Axel's not much of a fighter."

"Felt I should since it was my brother."

"I know. He stopped by."

He went stiff. "He—he did?"

"He wanted to meet me and apologize for his actions."

"Oh."

"Oh." She gave a small smile.

"What'd you think of him?"

"He's all right. I like him how open he was with me."

"Most people wouldn't say open."

"I'm not most people." She saw Maggie behind and smiled wider. "Hey."

Daryl looked over his shoulder, a little disappointed the smile wasn't for him, and he excused himself while they spoke. He watched Carol gather her things, seeing her give Maggie an invitation to Sophia's birthday party. From the look of it, Maggie had left it behind some time ago. He hadn't gotten an invitation. He wouldn't be getting one either.

"Daryl."

He stopped in the hall as she approached him. "What? Do you need me to fix somethin'? Or leave a note for Axel to fix it?"

"No." She held out a simple white envelope. "Honey got into the bag and shredded some of them. Yours included. Axel was kind enough to help me get more. I wanted to give this to you myself."

"Axel, huh?" He grasped the envelope.

She frowned. "Do you really think something's going on between us?"

"He's just around a lot."

"So is Andrea."

"Andrea didn't ask you out."

"If I wanted to date Axel, I would have said yes to him that day. I didn't, because I had feelings for you. I _still_ have feelings for you, but I stand by what I said. I'll see you at the party, or I won't."

"Do you even want me there?"

"Sophia wants you there. It's her birthday, and my feelings on who I want there don't matter. As long as she's happy, I'm happy. If you decide that you don't want to come or if you can't make it, call and explain it to her."

"I'll be there."

"I hope so." She looked over his shoulder and excused herself, joining Axel by the door. She owed him so much, and she had yet another favor for him. She felt terrible for asking him to do so many things, but he asked her to. He couldn't think on his brother right now, and with Sophia's birthday tomorrow, she had plenty of work for him. She needed him to get the car Daryl had been working on and bring it to the house just before the party started. Carol would take him to get his car from Daryl's afterward. She hoped Merle didn't take a club to it.

He nodded. "Don't feel bad. I asked."

"I know." She reached out and gingerly touched his jaw, and he grimaced. "Sorry. The swelling has gone down. That's good."

"Thanks, Doc."

She smiled. "You're welcome. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Cheer Sophia on for me."

"I will. Keep these kids in high spirits."

"Always." He chuckled.

She checked the time and said goodbye. She had to talk to Andrea before the meet. They were driving to there together, and the kids would be dismissed soon. She had to hurry. She didn't want to have to step over other parents again.

Axel chuckled at the sight of Carol rushing out the door. She was always had something she was running late for. He turned his head, seeing Daryl had been watching them, and he returned to what he was doing before Carol came over to him. He wanted to tell Daryl that he had no reason to glare him like that, but what was the point? If he wouldn't listen to Carol, there was no way in hell he would listen to him.


	14. Uncle Merle

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

"This is why you don't fall for the broken redneck." Andrea pushed her sunglasses up into her hair as the meet began. "Go for someone normal. Someone safe."

"Safe? What is this safe you speak of?" Carol only half-joked.

"Someone who won't break your heart from loving it too much."

She rolled her eyes but laughed. "I didn't know I had a choice."

"Why did you guys break up? I don't understand. So he gets envious. It's not like he's gotten violent. He'd have gotten over it."

"It wasn't just that. What he said to me... I don't know if he doesn't trust me, or if he just boiled what I said down to one thing and latched on to that so that he could...protect himself, or if he just doesn't want what I want." She didn't tell Andrea she had considered the break for Iris. She didn't tell Andrea about the break thing at all, just the break up. And the whole bit about Axel.

"He wants you."

"And I want him, but...we both need some space. He needs to learn that I'm not going to swoon over every man that's nice to me. He knows I'm loyal, but it's like he's scared to test it. He's loyal to his brother, and Merle has tested the shit out of that. I don't understand why he can't trust me. I'm not interested in Axel like that. Why can't he accept that?"

"Maybe it's not Axel," Shane suggest, joining them with cold water. "Maybe it's the _idea_ of Axel."

"How much have you heard, and what do you mean?" Carol took the bottle of water from him.

"All of it. Plus Andrea told me." Carol sent a slight glare to Andrea, and Andrea sent it back to Shane. "And what I mean by that is...Axel was and possibly still is attracted to you."

"He's not!" Carol swore.

"Still, he's a man and just like Daryl, he found you attractive and asked you out. He's gotten closer to you and to Sophia. He's in your lives now."

"As a friend," Carol added, aggravation heavy in her voice, but not toward Shane.

"But what if the next guy isn't?"

"What next guy?"

" _Any_ next guy. To Daryl, Axel proves that other men see you as desirable, and he has competition. What if the next one is too tempting? What if you give in? I mean, you and Daryl only happened because he got close to Sophia and then you. It could happen again."

"Shane, with all due respect, shut up."

He laughed. "Why is it whenever somebody says "with all due respect" they really mean "kiss my ass"?" Carol shrugged, and he shook his head. "All right, I'll let you ladies try to figure it out your way while I cheer on the kids."

Andrea nudged Carol's arm. "He has a point, Carol."

"I think you're wrong. Both of you. He doesn't like Axel, and he doesn't trust him with me. Not as my friend, not as anything in my life." Maybe if Daryl got to know Axel like she knew Axel. Daryl would never take the time.

"Go, Carl!" Shane called out.

"Just think about it," Andrea requested.

Carol shook her head, but not to Andrea's request, just her own thoughts. She decided to stop thinking and to just cheer on the kids. Daryl arrived and sat by Andrea, Shane had kindly moved to the other side of the Carol, and it wasn't too bad. Andrea couldn't talk to Shane unless she leaned over Carol, but they made it work. There wasn't much to talk about anyway. They were cheering on the kids, and Carol wondered just how much of what Shane said was true. Her eyes would briefly find Daryl's face, but they didn't dare linger.

"Go, Iris!" Andrea and Carol, trying their best to be embarrassing. They had made Sophia blush and cover her face as she rejoined her team, and they were going to do the same for Iris. But then...

Iris had fallen behind the others, Tara wondered what was wrong, because that wasn't like her. Then Iris just collapsed. Sophia, Tara, Patrick and Carl reached her first, Tara checked her pulse, and Andrea and Daryl both dropped beside her. Shane and Carol made the others stay back to give her space, and Carl and Sophia stepped away to give them room, but Patrick wasn't going to leave.

Tara splashed some water on her face, and Carol was about to call for an ambulance, but she began to rouse.

"Iris. Baby?" Andrea brushed hair and sweat from her forehead, and her eyes opened a little. "This has never happened before. Did she eat today?"

"Yeah." Patrick nodded.

"Maybe it was the heat," Sophia suggested.

"Maybe." Andrea didn't like it. "Honey, are you okay?"

"Mm-hmm," was all Iris could manage.

"Do you know where you are?"

"The meet."

"Can you stand?" Daryl asked.

She nodded, and Andrea helped her sit up. "I'm sorry. I—I don't know what came over me."

Tara squinted at them. "It's pretty hot today. It could have been that."

"It never bothered me before," Iris pointed out. "Shit. Does this mean we lost?"

Tara laughed. "Oh, she's fine."

Daryl helped Iris up, and Andrea guided her to a nearby bench while Tara talked to the other school's coach. Sophia and Carl joined them, Shane asked if Andrea wanted to take her to the doctor's, and Carol offered to drive. They had come in the same car, so there really wasn't much of an option. Unless Shane took them.

"I'm okay." Iris rubbed the back of her head. "I—it was the heat. I haven't had much water either. I'm okay, guys, really."

"We just wanna make sure," Shane replied, rubbing her back. "Let's get you hydrated and to some shade."

Andrea and Shane took her to Shane's car and turned on the air conditioning, Sophia got her some water, and Carol and Daryl hung back to give them some space. That, and someone needed to collect their things.

"You should be with her," Carol told Daryl. "She's your kid. I'll get this stuff."

"I'm already here with you." He shouldered the girls' bags. "Besides she needs some air, and Shane and Andrea are already crowdin' her."

Carol turned away to collect her and Andrea's things, seeing Patrick worrying from the field. She wondered why he was all the way other there and not with Iris now. He may not want to crowd her. Him and Daryl both, it appeared.

Andrea was on the phone, setting up an appointment with their family doctor for Iris tomorrow, because she was really worried. It wasn't the heat. It wasn't dehydration. She had a feeling in her gut it might be something else. Something bad. She could be wrong, and she wanted to be. She really didn't want anything to be wrong with her. She wasn't going to risk it.

Shane placed a spare police hat on her head and smiled at her. "Looks good."

"Thanks." She adjusted it. "Do I get a badge now? Or at least a chocolate one?"

"You get fresh, ice cold water," Sophia answered, brows wriggling.

"Gee, this is so much better than chocolate. How did you know?" She grinned and accepted the bottle. "Do you think we lost though? I mean, maybe it was a draw? I would have beat their asses. I know it."

"You're really worryin' about that?" Shane's brows shot up.

"A little. Could you go ask?"

"All right, but drink and stay there."

"Yes, sir." She twisted the cap off and drank deeply.

Sophia pushed up on the tips of her toes to make sure Andrea wasn't in earshot. She was now talking to Carol, and Daryl was loading their trunk. "Good." She met Iris's eyes. "Do you think...?"

"Think...?" She lowered the bottle. "Oh, c'mon, no. No. That isn't some...test to prove that I am. We both know I'm not."

"Third time's the charm?"

"Oh, my God," she pinched the bridge of her nose, "my life is giving me whiplash."

"Just be sure. If you are...and something happened..."

She tipped her water back and chugged it.

"You can't ignore this." She grabbed the water, and Iris groaned as water splashed on herself. "Listen to me."

"I am. I'm just thirsty. It's hot out here." She rested her hands in her lap. "We'll talk about this later, okay? I'm not...feeling all that great."

"Which is why we should talk about this now."

"No, I have a headache. That happens when you _fall on the hot, hard ground_." She huffed. "Sophia, I just want to be alone, okay? Go join the others. I have four mother hens clucking my way, and I don't need a fifth one."

"Fine."

She closed her eyes and knocked her temple on the seat, closing her eyes and feeling bad for that, but she just couldn't talk about that right now. She didn't want to. She just wanted to get something eat and go home. She would deal with this all later. Tara was probably right, and Sophia was overreacting. She would apologize at her birthday party with her kickass gift and verbally. It would be all right. They were always eventually all right.

"Tired?" Andrea set a hand on her forehead.

"A little." She opened her eyes. "I didn't sleep well last night."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It wasn't a big deal then."

She frowned. "I set up an appointment with Dr. S."

"Why?"

"Are you really asking me that?"

"Mom, I am okay. It was just—just the heat."

"Let's make sure of it." She smirked. "Nice hat."

She smiled a little, though still not happy with the appointment Mom had set up without talking to her about it. "Do I get out of school for this appointment?"

"Yes."

"Okay." At least something good came out of this.

"She sounds better." Daryl leaned against the car. "You feelin' all right?"

"Yeah."

"All right enough to meet my brother?"

She lifted her head. "Is he here?"

"He's at my house."

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm okay enough." She turned to her mom. "Please, I am."

Andrea searched her daughter's face and could see how much she wanted to meet him and that was okay for now. "You can go meet him."

"Thank you!" She hugged her mom.

"Take my phone." Andrea handed it to her. "Stay hydrated."

"I'll take care of her," Daryl promised.

"I'll see you at dinner. Both of you, remember."

"Yes, Mom." She turned to Daryl. "Let me change. I'll be right back." She collected her bag and headed into the school.

"Strange timing." Andrea crossed her arms. "Did he get in last night?"

"Yeah. He...caught a late flight."

She nodded. "Not to be rude, but please don't bring him to dinner with you. I think it'd be better if it were just the three of us. Iris really wants to show you her childhood, and I...I'm not entirely comfortable with Merle being around. I don't know him, but I do acknowledge that he's family to her. He's her uncle, and they should get to know each other, but for the time being, I'd rather that happen with just the two of you."

"I understand. Merle would rather it be that way too."

"Thanks for understanding. I just want to...make this as easy as possible. I don't want her to worry about me and Merle butting heads and feeling that she'll have to watch herself with us, you know?" He nodded. "So, if you could arrange it, I'd like to meet with Merle alone just to...get to know him."

"Yeah, I can arrange that."

"Thank you. Maybe he can join us next time for dinner."

"Maybe."

"Speaking of, I'd like you two to be home by seven. Make sure she has a snack. She gets unbearably grumpy otherwise." She spotted Iris exiting the building.

"Will do."

"Okay then I'll see you at seven." She smiled.

"At seven." He gave a small smile and headed toward his car.

Iris tossed her bag in the trunk, gave Andrea one more hug and waved goodbye to Carol and Shane before getting in to the truck with Daryl. She had seen Sophia and Patrick and decided it was best to not say goodbye to her. She would call Sophia later. She couldn't handle Patrick right now, or any questions he might have. She adjusted her seat belt and caught a glimpse of Sophia and Patrick and Carl talking then for some reason Sophia embraced him. What happened? Was he all right? Was it about her? Her eyes hung on Patrick until Daryl drove away. She could understand what Daryl was going through with Carol. Sort of. She wasn't jealous or anything, but it all hurt the same.

––

The ride to Daryl's wasn't too long, and they found something to discuss that wasn't her fainting at the meet or him and Carol's brief and depressing encounter. She didn't want to hear anything about her uncle. She wanted to be surprised and make her own opinions on him, like how she would when she met Ruth. Daryl respected that and told her to brace herself. She just laughed at the expression on his face, and he told her to serious prepare herself. Merle was a lot to take on, and not even Daryl knew how he'd react to her after all this time. He wasn't her biggest fan in the beginning, but he grew to love her like she was his own. That hadn't changed with her "death". Only Merle had. Iris too.

"How are you feelin'?" Daryl inquired as they pulled up to his place.

"I'm fine, Daryl. I'm a little hungry, but that's only because I threw my lunch out."

"You lied to us."

"If Mom found out I didn't eat, she'd have dragged me home and made me eat like I was five years old. I'm not. I ate a few boiled potatoes at lunch, but... Patrick and I broke up, and I couldn't eat when he sat with us. My stomach just...shrank, all right?" She was barely able to choke down the cookies she'd bought.

"Y'all broke up?"

"Yes. I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay." He paused. "I get what you mean."

"Hmm?"

"I see Carol and will always see her at work. And Axel is there too—"

"Dude, Axel is just a friend." She crossed her arms. "He doesn't want to date Carol. His relationship to her is like mine to Carl. Only they're way closer. He won't try and steal her. He just wants to be her friend."

"You can say it, but you don't see him."

"I do too, and don't say I don't understand. You're just being an asshole. Or a chicken. I'm not sure which one it is, but it's definitely one of those two."

"And you and Patrick? You just walked away 'cause you wanted to?"

She averted her eyes.

"Asshole or chicken?"

"Bit of both," she muttered. "What happened with us is completely different than what happened between you and Carol. All you have to do is talk to her."

"We ain't talkin' about this."

"Good. I don't want to." She shifted in her seat and ran a hand through her hair. "Did Merle and I get along when I was younger?"

"Yeah. Y'all were real close."

She nodded. "I've never had an uncle before. I mean, Phillip's brother, but he was just nice and treated me and Penny the same. I liked that."

"Phillip didn't treat you two the same?"

"No, he treated me like nothing. Penny could do no wrong though." She rolled her eyes. "Penny knew better thankfully. She was a decent sister."

"Was?"

"She hasn't spoken to me in years. Elizabeth writes letters to Mom, but that's about it. I guess being held at gunpoint strikes a bond. It broke mine and Penny's. I have Sophia. And Lizzie. And cute little Mika."

"You miss her."

"All the time. I did grow up with her." She turned to look at him. "She taught me how to write in cursive and helped me with my homework. She even taught me how to whistle and blow bubbles in gum. She was beside me through the fights Mom and Phillip had. She...was my big sis, but not anymore I suppose. She has boyfriends and colleges on her mind now."

"Maybe y'all will get together someday."

"I doubt it." She smiled a little. "But thanks for saying it."

He parked in the driveway. "You're welcome."

They exited out of the car, and they headed inside together. Merle was by the sliding glass doors, gazing out at the birds, and his gaze moved to them when the door shut. He stared at the girl that was once Ella Grace Dixon, long and silent, to the point of awkward. She was as tall as Celia, with the same color of hair, though it was the same texture as Daryl's. She was beautiful, had the same eyes as them, just a bit lighter at the moment, like Andrea's eyes. She was so damn skinny, and from how she was biting her lip and glancing at Daryl, uncomfortable too.

"Iris."

"That's me." She smiled. "Merle."

"That's me." He smirked.

Daryl excused himself to his room silently to change for his dinner with Andrea and Iris.

Iris ran her eyes over him and knotted her fingers. "How are you?"

"Peachy."

"Me too."

"You look pale, darlin', not at all good."

"Thanks. Best uncle ever." She placed her hands on her hip. "Really. What are you gonna tell me next?"

"You look like your mama. Both of 'em."

"I don't hear that ever, but thank you. I guess. I don't know what my birth mom looked like."

"She was beautiful. Real broken though. She never had a chance to bloom."

"Uhhhh...?"

"Unlike you."

"Great. I get it. Bloom. Iris. Ha ha." She cleared her throat, not sure if he meant it like that by the look he gave her. "Umm, I'm just gonna get some water."

"Don't forget to eat somethin'," Daryl called to her.

"Yes, sir." She strolled in to the kitchen and decided to make a sandwich. She didn't feel at home at Daryl's just yet so she asked, "Would you like one?" She would feel better if she got some kind of permission, and if he wanted one, that was permission to make him one. Her brain made no sense, but it made her feel better about it.

"Sure." He pushed off the wall and sat on a stool across from her. "So, you're a junior in high school now, ain't you?"

"Yes." She ripped off two paper towels and dropped two slices of bread on them. "I'm going to be a senior in...four months? Three possibly. I stopped keeping track." She prepared the sandwiches.

"Good. Be the first Dixon to graduate."

"Seriously? The first?" She licked mayo off her finger, brows rising. "Wow. I'm, like, the fiftieth Harrison to graduate or something. I'm pretty sure my grandpa has a wall of copied diplomas."

Merle chuckled. "Sounds like a fun guy."

"I know you were being sarcastic, but he is. He's pretty awesome." She held up the mustard, and he nodded. "He taught me how to fish."

"You can fish?"

"I'm okay. Mom's better." She shrugged. "I want to learn how to use a bow. I have my own bow and everything, but no clue how to use it properly. Mom doesn't know, and Daryl was supposed to teach me, but because she found out he was my dad, she didn't want us near each other. So I now own a lovely dust collector. I mean, I know it can't be that hard, but I don't want risk breaking it or accidentally hurting myself. Both possible with my luck."

"I can teach you."

"Really?" She met his eyes. "You know how use a bow?"

"Yeah."

"Like, well?"

"I taught your dad how to use a crossbow. I can teach you how to use a bow. I'm a good teacher."

"No, he ain't," Daryl stated from his room.

"I am too! Shut the hell up!"

She laughed. "That would be so great. Um, maybe in the summer if you're still around. Oh, and I'll need my mom's permission."

He nodded. "Sounds good. I'll be around."

She put everything back in the fridge when the sandwiches were made, and they moved to the living room to eat while Daryl lingered in his room. She wasn't sure if he was trying to give them time alone or if he was thinking about what she'd said about Carol. Or maybe he couldn't find a decent outfit. It was just going to be them, and Iris was wearing these jeans and knit tunic. He didn't need to stress about clothes. He's likely brooding.

"So, what do you do?" She tucked hair behind her ear. "I know Daryl works at the shelter, repairing things and cleaning stuff up, along with some other job or jobs, but what about you?"

"Nothin' right now. I recently quit my job. Boss was an asshole."

"Oh."

"What do you want to do? With your life?"

"I've been talking about it with the school counselor for in between classes to see what I'm best suited for, and we still have work to do, because I'm not entirely sure what I'm best suited for and passionate about. I'll let you know when I decide."

"You don't remember any of it?" Merle abruptly asked.

She shook her head, unable to verbally reply, and he visibly slumped. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I just thought maybe it'd come back to you by now. Maybe the doctors got it wrong." He shrugged. "You're alive, and that means more to me than you rememberin' me."

She smiled a little. "We can make new memories, and you can tell me about the ones I forgot."

"Eh."

"Eh? You can't 'eh' that!"

He laughed.

"Really, you can't 'eh' my offer. We _will_ get to know each other, especially when you teach me how to use a bow." She smirked, teasing him. "We're going to bond, and you can't fight it."

He smiled. "Now that's the kid I remember."

She smiled. "I'm not that little girl anymore, but I'm glad I can remind you of her."

"I know. I'm glad. You were a hyper little brat. I was this close to puttin' whiskey in your drinks so you'd pass out and stop buggin' the shit out of me all the time. Daryl wouldn't let me, said it was irresponsible."

"It would have been!"

"Eh."

"Eh to you too." She stuck her tongue out and laughed when he did the same. "Now who's the brat?"

"Still you."

"Wow." She set the remaining half of her sandwich on the table. "I'm going to hug you."

"No! I hate hugs. Kid." He was on his feet.

"Just let it happen. I'm hugging you."

He avoided her, but eventually she managed to hug him. He wasn't a fan of hugs, not since the last one he gave to anybody was days before they were hit and almost killed by a car. He knew it wasn't his hug, but he couldn't let himself get that close to anybody ever again. Even Daryl. He kept his distance, because he didn't want to go through what he went through when he thought she was dead again. He couldn't. But she had survived, and he was still concerned, but he wasn't going to keep away. Shit would happen, and he would be there for the times when it was good.

Iris let him go and returned to her seat. Her uncle smelled like mud and aftershave and deodorant. It was very Merle. She would know that scent anywhere now. She also knew when he taught her how to use a bow, her ass would be hiking. He didn't get that mud scent from the backyard. She hated hiking. Nature was no friend to her. She always ended up with poison ivy or repeatedly tripped on roots or scrapped her knees on rocks. It was always something. Maybe it'd throw something new at her. Nothing would surprise her anymore. She was surprise-proof.

Knock wood.

– – –

Andrea made Iris change for dinner since her jeans were muddy from taking a walk with her uncle, and she moaned and groaned the entire way to her room, but she had already planned on changing. She left Daryl and Mom to set the table and chat about whatever two parents that had never dated or really spoken to each other chatted about. She tidied up her room so she could show it to Daryl after dinner, and so he could get a rest from Mom. They weren't the best of friends, particularly now considering he broke up with her best friend, so they would need breaks from each other. She realized halfway through that her room was too much of a pit right now. Well, not pit so much as...not suitable for anybody but Mom to see. Ugh, maybe next time. Mom would probably bombard him with photos for the entire night anyway.

Traipsing down the stairs, Iris heard laughter and blinked. What they busted into the wine early? She edged to the end of the wall and inspected the kitchen. They weren't drinking, and it wasn't forced. What the hell did she miss? The last time they spoke, it was all yelling and cursing. In all likelihood. She wasn't there, of course, but that's what Mom would do. Daryl as well.

"What's so funny?" She clasped her hands in front of her.

"Andrea was just tellin' me about her former secretary."

"The one who used to hit on her excessively, or the one that hit on me?"

Daryl frowned. "What?"

"He was a temp," Andrea replied. "And I dismissed him by pouring my hot coffee on him."

"When did that happen?"

"I was fourteen." Iris leaned against the counter. "I'd just turned fourteen too. It was like the day after my birthday, and Amy wanted to take me shopping as a belated birthday present. Mom thought it'd save Amy gas if I went to work with her, because Amy lived close by. Well, I was waiting for her outside Mom's office 'cause she was with a client, and he came over to me after either running an errand or maybe just arriving late. He watched me for a few minutes then called me over and asked me out for coffee. Mom—with her bloodhound ears—came flying out off her office, face as calm as ever, and she said something. I don't remember what."

"I'd rather not repeat it." It was inappropriate and offensive then and now and until the end of time. She gave Daryl a look that said she'd tell him later, privately. She was glad Iris forgot.

"Then she just tossed it on him. He screamed and left cursing." HIs lap actually smoking too.

"He's never been back," Andrea told them.

She looked at Daryl. "Hey, don't get all scrunch-y faced. Nothing happened, and if it makes you feel any better, his...lower half took most of the heat."

"I'd have kicked his ass," Daryl admitted. "How did you not?"

"Pencil skirt, my boss was nearby, and I didn't want Iris to see that. With the coffee, all I had to do was pretend to trip." She turned to Iris. "Take the salad to the table."

She picked up the wooden bowl and headed to the dining room.

"I also didn't want assault charges, because let's face it, I would have beaten the shit out of him," Andrea pointed out. He was in his twenties and she was barely a teenager. And he wanted to date her? Aside from being illegal and deathly, there had to be something wrong with him for him to chose a fourteen-year-old rather than someone his own age. God only knows what he would have done to her. "He got a burnt groin, and if he pressed any other young girls like he had Iris, karma definitely got his ass. Now, it's in the past, and nothing happened to her, so let it go."

"Were there any other incidents like that?"

"One other time."

"When?"

"She was fifteen, and she was swimming at the pool with her friends, and Patrick dropped an ice cream cone when he saw her in a bikini." She laughed at his expression. "Lighten up. There were no other times, and if there were, she carries pepper spray for a reason. Shane wants to give her a taser as a going away present for college."

"I'm with Shane."

"I figured." She set a hand on his forearm to get his attention. "Daryl, she's not a little girl anymore. She's still growing up, but she doesn't need us to make all of her decisions for her. I know you still see your baby Ella, and I understand that entirely, but you don't have to protect her so much."

"Can't help it."

"Me neither." She smiled and slid her hand down to clasped his hand. "We'll learn together, okay?"

"Okay."

"Good. Now, let's take the rest of this to the dining room. I'm starved."

Iris smiled, leaning against the wall with a bowl of salad in her arms, and she almost—almost—threw it in the air to cheer. They were getting along. Actually getting along. Daryl and her mom. Her parents. Holy frigging shit, yes!

––

"I hate paperwork," Carol declared. "It's evil."

Sophia giggled. "It's only been three minutes."

"Doesn't make this any less painful." She closed the folder and tossed it on the floor, taking a slice of pizza. "All right, let's do something fun. Like camping. Or...yoga."

"We suck at camping. Seriously, we can't even pitch a tent. And the only yo we like is yogurt."

"You could've just suggested something else."

"Spa day?"

"We have bills."

"Road trip?" She smiled widely.

She pursed her lips then smiled a little. "We could visit Karen and Tyreese."

"Yes, we could."

"She did want us over to see the new house."

"And you could use a break from the shelter and the Daryl mess. It'd be fun, just the two of us, and it's not a long, long drive."

"You have school though."

"I'm making good grades at the moment, and we're not getting into too serious. It's the perfect time, Mom. I can copy the notes from Patrick. He takes notes on everything. _Thorough_ notes. It'll be like I'm there in class. Please, let's do it. You need to do this."

"Well, I'll have to talk to Maggie about it."

"So we're going?" Sophia grinned.

"Maybe." She saw the grin grow on her daughter's face. "It'll have to be after the party."

"I'm gonna pack my bag. You know, "just in case"."

Carol pressed her lips together to keep from smiling. "Eat your dinner."

She bit into her pizza and saw Honey begging. "What about Honey? You know, "if" we go."

Carol looked down at her. "Axel can check in on her. He's good with dogs. He'll have to feed her and take her for walks and make sure she's not too lonely."

"Why not Andrea?"

"She won't have the time, and I know Axel will enjoy the distraction. Besides, dogs are good company, and she'll cheer him right up." She scratched behind Honey's ears. "You'll drool on him and make him crazy, won't you?"

"Let's hope he likes getting jerked around by this big baby." She was an angel, but a pain to take on walks. Sophia offered her a piece of crust. "You be good, okay?"

By the look on her face, she was making no promises. Sophia hoped Axel didn't mind watching Honey. If he said no, they might not go. Mom wasn't going to ask Daryl. Not because she didn't trust him or anything; she just didn't want him to be around the house and dog when he was trying to get over her—or whatever Mom wanted him to do.

Sophia caught the look of sadness in her mom's eyes, and she knew she was thinking about Daryl. She didn't understand why they broke up. Mom didn't talk about it to her, but Sophia knew they had broken up. It was obvious at the meet, and while it was hard to swallow, she knew Mom did it for a good reason. Maybe when he figured that out, they could get back together. Maybe.


	15. Friendships And Envy

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

Iris stretched her legs under the coffee table while Mom and Daryl flipped through the photo album, and she mixed her ice cream up so it was all soupy. Mom and Daryl were having coffee, which Iris did not want any of tonight. She wanted to sleep and stress about you-know-what tomorrow.

Daryl smiled at the pictures of his little girl all bundled up and picking out a pumpkin. "That's a good one."

"It's my favorite." Andrea leaned toward him, legs crossed with her coffee on her knee, hands cupped around it. "Doesn't she look so adorable? Look at those cheeks."

Iris blushed and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah."

"You can have it, if you'd like." She set her cup down. "I have twenty copies of this picture."

"She does," Iris confirmed. "Everyone at her job treats me like a baby 'cause of that picture. It's hanging in her office, along with twenty others."

"You are my child, and I will proudly display that," Andrea responded.

"Could you do that with pictures of me now?" Iris begged. "Please."

"Maybe."

She made a face and spooned in more ice cream.

Daryl turned to the next page and saw pictures of Iris in a play. "What's this?"

"Her first performance in a school play." Andrea smiled. "She was a tree."

"No, no. I was tree number four," Iris corrected. "I glittered the crap out of that tree."

"I can see that." He ran his eyes over the page. "You look sad."

"I was." She stirred her spoon. "I didn't have any friends, and it was a little lonely when everybody ran to their best friend and said how good their were and crap."

Andrea skipped to the next page. "You were still great as tree number four."

She smiled a little. "Thanks."

"I have it video taped if you'd like to see," Andrea informed Daryl. "Later so Iris can't fast forward through the part where she tripped a kid."

Daryl snorted. "You tripped a kid?"

"He was a jerk. He always pulled my hair, and he made fun of my glitter."

"He almost fell off the stage because of that trip." Andrea shook her head. "His mom dove for the poor boy. It was so funny and horrible, but he wasn't hurt, so it was all good."

Iris laughed. "Oh, my gosh, it was in slow motion too." She covered her mouth. "You have to watch the tape."

"I'll go dig it out." Andrea picked up her cup. "Do you want some more coffee?"

"No, thanks."

"All right then. I'll be right back."

Iris placed her arms on the cool glass of the coffee table. "You look sad now, Daryl."

"Just missed a lot."

"Me too." She shrugged. "I didn't have any friends until Sophia. I'd never been to a sleepover or birthday party that wasn't for family. It was hard on me, and Mom felt so bad. She thought I was missing out on a lot of things, but I don't think so. I'm happy with how it turned out. I got to share my secrets and dreams with a friend who's never betrayed me."

"I didn't have many friends either, just Merle when he was around."

She nodded. "He told me about that. On our walk. He feels really bad about it, blames himself for—"

He narrowed his eyes, and she shoveled in ice cream. "Blames himself for what?"

"Uhh—Ahh, brain freeze." She pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Iris."

"Really not faking it." She groaned.

He waited until it passed, and then he asked once more. "Blames himself for what?"

"The abuse." She wasn't supposed to tell him she knew. Merle was never going to share anything with her ever again. She should learn to just politely nodded. Guh.

"A—abuse?"

"Your father physically abused you and Merle when you were kids. He told me about the camping trip and the fight. He didn't want me to accidentally say something and make you uneasy. He—he was just looking out for you. Please, don't be mad at him."

He ground his teeth. "Son of a bitch."

"Daryl, please don't say that." She moved beside him. "I understand now. I do, and I won't say a word. He didn't want me to tell you, so you can't say anything or he'll never trust me again."

"No, he knew you'd slip up."

"Why would he tell me to keep it to myself then?" She saw the answer in his eyes. "She doesn't know."

He flinched, but he didn't deny it.

"Why haven't you told her? She'd understand. Out of everybody, she'd understand. And she loves you for who you are, no matter what happened to you in the past." She set a hand on his shoulder. "You're nothing like him, Daryl. You don't have to be afraid that you might be. You would never hurt Carol like that."

"I don't want to talk about this."

"But—"

"Not this, Iris." His voice was tight and low, and his gaze made her remove her hand. He swallowed. "I—I'm sorry, but not that."

"I won't say a word," she vowed. "Not to anybody."

He nodded. "Thank you."

She hugged him. "It's what family does, Daryl." She buried her face in his shoulder, squeezing her eyes to keep the tears away. If only her heart could so easily be held together. It was breaking for him, and she hoped that he found the strength to tell Carol one day. She hoped he found the strength to overcome all of his fears and get the help he needed. "I'm here for you...okay, Dad?"

He smiled and held her closer. "Thanks, kid."

"That sounded a little weird, didn't it?"

"A bit," he admitted.

She pulled back from the hug. "It felt a little weird to say." She laughed through the tears that flooded her eyes. "Maybe later."

"Take your time."

She nodded and wiped at her eyes. "You too."

– – –

"A trip? In the middle of the week?" Iris squirted out toothpaste onto her brush. "Wanna switch moms?"

" _Why?_ "

"I gotta doctor's appointment tomorrow morning."

" _Bummer. I have a vacation day after tomorrow._ "

"Oh, fuck you." She brushed her teeth.

" _If you trust him, ask him to check. You have to know._ "

She spat in the sink. "It's not a matter of trust. It's Mom finding out. She'd shit bricks and then have a stroke."

" _Iris, if you are, it's going to show eventually._ "

"Or I could get really, really fat."

" _And then what? Have the baby in the woods?_ "

" _Like the old days. You could be my midwife._ "

" _Please! I can barely dissect a frog!_ "

She groaned. "You could try!"

" _Talk to your doctor! It has to be better than your insane plan to give birth in the woods with me. What would you do after? Drop it off at a church with your nonexistent car?_ "

"Fine, I'll consider it—but you're no longer my midwife."

" _Thank God for that._ "

She laughed. "All right. It's midnight, and I am exhausted. I'll see you after your trip. Have fun and kiss little Harry for me. I may forget to tell you that tomorrow before you leave as I might be dead."

" _You'll be fine, but I will. Night._ "

"Night." She hung up and continued to brush her teeth, tossing her phone onto her bed. She was not at all looking forward to this appointment. She was now sexually active and could be pregnant. She could just imagine the look on her mom's face tomorrow. She lifted up her tank top and tried to imagine a baby bump being there. Maybe she should start digging a grave instead of flossing?

––

"Iris?" Andrea called, collecting her things. "Are you ready?"

"Give me a sec!"

She sighed and climbed the stairs, finding Iris curled up in a chair reading a book, and she arched a brow, tightly crossing her arms. She waited a second, trying to see if Iris would realize she was there and get a move on it. Sadly, Iris was too lost in her book to notice, so Andrea cleared her throat, causing Iris to jump.

"What?" She lowered the book to her lap.

"We have to go."

"Right. Sorry." She marked her place and slipped the book into her purse, standing up.

"What were you reading?"

" _Legacy of Lies_."

"Iris."

"What? That's what it called!" She tucked loose hair from her braid behind her ear. "Not everything I say is a jab about the big, horrible secret you kept that destroyed a life and even a relationship. Get over yourself."

"Excuse me?"

"I didn't sleep well. I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that." She rubbed her eye. "I'm over the whole secret thing, and I'm moving on. You know that. I'm...in need of coffee."

"You haven't been sleeping well since the other night. Is everything all right?"

"Yeah, just...too many thoughts before bed."

"Or it could be your trying to finish that book. I've noticed you've been reading a lot lately. How come?"

"I just have a lot of free time on my hands."

"I've only seen you read books your English teachers assigned the class, and typically you were rushing through the chapters for the tests.

She shrugged a shoulder. "Just bored. C'mon, let's go."

"How's Patrick?" Andrea asked on their way to the car. "I haven't seen him around lately. How is he?"

"Checking out colleges, I suspect." She buckled herself in and dug her phone out.

"You suspect? You don't know? I thought you guys were looking at colleges together. I assumed you would now that he's staying."

"Change of plans."

"What change?"

"We broke up." She tucked her earbuds in and played music, silently telling her mom she was done speaking.

Andrea watched Iris shift toward the window, loose hair now in her eyes, and she was staring out the window like there was something interesting there. Andrea started the car and pulled out, knowing she wasn't going to say anything more. She wondered what happened. Which one of them decided to break up? It couldn't have been Iris. All of her notebooks had his named scribbled in hearts all over them, and pictures of them littered her room. She had seen them together, and she knew they loved each other. Iris was the type to fall and fall deeply. She wouldn't have broken up with him if there was chance they could be together.

And Patrick. He was heartbroken about leaving town and leaving her. He would have rushed over to tell Iris he was staying. He wouldn't have dumped her. Unless he was just using her for sex. Patrick didn't seem like the type. Maybe she didn't know him as well she as thought. If that was the case, she was going to kill him. He was going to die. Or come as close to it as possible. Nobody— _nobody_ —messed with her daughter like that and got away with that. If he used her for sex, he was going to severely regret it.

Iris flipped through the pictures on her phone, wanting to change the background picture, and she found a shit ton of Patrick and her pictures. She flipped through them and was tempted to delete them, but her thumb hesitated, and she just closed out of it, adjusting her earbud. She didn't notice her mom saw her reaction. Iris tilted her head, eyes narrow, when the car stopped. She turned her head to her mom for an answer, and Andrea turned in her seat to face Iris.

"What's going on?" She pulled out her earbuds. "This isn't the doctor's."

"We need to talk."

"No, thank you. The last time we talked, it ended with both of us in tears, and I ran away. It was only for a day and a half, but still. I think we're good on talking."

"We're going to talk, and you're going to answer my questions, young lady."

Iris nodded. "Okay."

"You and Patrick broke up. When?"

She sank in her seat. "Mom—"

"Don't. Answer me."

"I don't know when. It just happened a couple days ago, all right? It's over, and it never concerned you."

"It concerns me when the boy breaks up with you after sex. _That_ concerns me."

"Oh, my God." She covered her face with her hands, blushing from her roots down. "Please, please, please _do not_ continue this conversation."

"You want me to treat you like an adult and yet you act like this when I mention sex."

"No, not sex," Iris corrected. "Sex _I've_ had. That makes it awkward!"

"Really? If you've done it, you can talk about it."

"Not with you!"

"Why not with me?"

"Because you're my mom, and it's weird!"

Andrea shook her head, used to Iris calling her mom in that annoyed, grossed out tone. She didn't want to hear it right now. They were going to talk about this. She wasn't going to get off easy. "All I want to do is talk. Would you just talk to me?"

"About what?" She dropped her hands to her lap.

"Did Patrick break up with you because—?"

"Patrick didn't break up with me," Iris interrupted her. "I...I broke up with him."

"You did?"

"Yes, the last time he was at our house." She couldn't meet her mom's eyes. "So don't go off on him. I'm the asshole."

"Why did you break up with him?"

"Does it matter?"

"It does when I know how much you care for him. Did he do something? Did his asshole parents say something to you?"

"No, stop with the angry face. It was nobody but me. It was my decision, all right? Let's just drop it." She straightened. "He's going to college, and it's best he be single."

"Iris—"

"Mom, God, stop! It wasn't your relationship! Please, I don't want to talk about it." Her voice broke a little, and she wrapped her arms around herself. "Let's just go."

"If you ever want to talk—"

"I know." She wiped her hand under her nose.

"You may not want to hear it, but it will get easier." She reached over and slipped hair behind her ear.

"Will it?" She peeked at her mom's face.

"Yes, but it leaves a scar. First love always does." She stroked her cheek. "Falling in love is painful and beautiful, and I'm sorry it had to end like this."

"It had to end, though, didn't it? He's going to college, and I'm going into my senior year. He needs to be...able to experience it. The sooner the better." She leaned forward and covered her hand with her mouth.

Andrea rubbed her back gently. "Why don't we just reschedule, hmm? We can go get something to eat."

Iris was shaking, tears falling from her eyes down her nose, her mouth opened slightly at sobs that wouldn't escape, and she shuddered. She forced air into her lungs, forced herself to speak, and she tried to make her voice as normal as she could. "You have to work. This is the only day off you can afford."

"I don't care."

She lifted her head. "What?"

"I don't care if I have to miss work again, Iris. All that matters is you." She wiped away her tears. "Okay, honey?"

She leaned over the console and hugged her, sobbing for reasons Andrea didn't know. She buried her face in her shoulder, the smell of perfume flooding her nose, and her fingers tightened on the materiel of her mom's shirt. She hadn't really got to think about the break up with Patrick. Not with Merle, and her maybe pregnancy, and Daryl and Carol breaking up possibly over her. Now the pain of the break up, of it really being over, was all that was left. And it sucked. It sucked so much.

They stopped by a pharmacy so Andrea could pick up some vitamins and sweets for when they got home, and Iris wandered the aisles, eventually finding herself in front of some pregnancy tests. It was a slow day, so nobody was looking at her with horror in their eyes and slut in their minds. She didn't want to steal from this place. They were good people, and they were so sweet, but Sophia was right; she had to know. Maybe she'd watered down her urine too much the second time, or maybe she did it wrong. She wasn't exactly a pro at this. Third time's the charm.

She grabbed a test and shoved it deep into her purse.

"Iris!"

She jumped at the sound of her mom's voice. "What?"

"I've been calling for you." She waved her over. "Come and get a drink."

"Oh. Okay." She scrambled from the scene of the crime and grabbed a pop. She noticed a donation jar and while it wasn't for the store itself, she still put in five dollars. It might balance out the theft. Maybe.

They drove home and prepared for Mom's getting over boyfriends remedy. It consisted of virgin drinks, junk food, romantic comedies that they would make fun of and staying up late to just talk. It didn't matter what about either. It was just the two of them in their pajamas at twelve in the afternoon with movies and junk. It was going to be brilliant.

"Did you and Amy do this?" Iris bit in to an Oreo.

"Yes, when we were about your age. I haven't done this since Amy's college boyfriend."

"Do you want to invite Amy over?"

"No."

She smiled. "Mmm, I have to use the bathroom and change, but why don't you start the movie. I know you like to watch the previews."

"Yes, I do."

She glanced back once to make sure her mom wasn't watching before she hurried to her bedroom. She dug out the test from her purse and locked the bathroom door behind her. She inhaled and exhaled several times before opening the box and pulling out the small, plastic stick that would determine if her life was going to change forever.

She did as she had done twice before and changed in to her tank top with 'hot mess' written in pink above melting ice cream and plaid pajama shorts. She brushed and gathered up all of her hair in to a ponytail. All of her movements were so slow, or so the mirror reflected, and with each movement her heartbeat increased.

Then it was time. The life changer.

She picked up the test and read it.

 _Pregnant_.

– – –

Iris and Sophia were sitting on the steps, the party a little slow but still nice. Everybody had shown up, and the card Ty and Karen sent arrived on time. They were excited for them to visit, and it made Carol feel a lot better about this decision. She needed time with her sister, and Sophia needed a break from all of this drama.

Carol heard a knock on the door and excused herself, opening the door for Axel and the ice she'd asked for. "You are a live saver."

"That's what I'm here for."

"Well, you are now here to enjoy yourself and have cake."

He smiled. "Thank you for inviting me."

"Of course."

"Where do you want this?"

"In the cooler. It's in the living room." She pointed the way then began to close the door when Daryl appeared. She smiled softly at him. "You made it."

"I—Merle wanted to grab breakfast that turned in to four hours tryin' to find a place that had been torn down. It's why I'm late. I'm sorry."

"You came, and that's all that matters."

He smiled shyly. "You look real nice."

"Thank you. So do you." She stepped aside. "Everybody's in the living room. Shane's in the back grilling, so if you want to give him a hand go right ahead."

"Um, Carol?"

"Yes?" She met his eyes.

"I—I was hopin' to—"

"Carol." Axel made an apologetic hand gesture. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but Honey's off the chain."

"Oh, no. I'm sorry, Daryl. I have to go." She hurried to get Honey back on the chain before she attacked Shane for hot dogs. Attacking him would only be jumping him and gobbling up any food he dropped, but still. Raw meat wasn't good for her stomach.

Axel turned to Daryl. "I'm gonna give her a hand."

Daryl didn't reply, so he left, and Daryl shook his head. He set his individual gift for Sophia on the table by the others, and he wanted to find a dark corner to be invisible in, but the girls were blocking the stairs. And Andrea pulled him in to conversation.

"Daryl." She pulled him closer. "I need to talk to you."

At least somebody should get to say what they wanted to. "Yeah?"

"It's about Patrick and Iris."

"They broke up."

"You knew?" She gaped. "She told you first?"

"Yeah, she told me—wait. First?" He smiled at that. She told him first. As in before Andrea, her mother who she's trusted far longer than him.

"Don't look so proud. Do you even know why?"

He glared slightly. "Do you?"

"Of course. I just need your help to keep him away from her. You're her dad, so be threatening."

"I'm not here to be threatenin'. I'm here for Sophia. And free food."

"Such a gentlemen." She smirked then softened her voice, "I just don't want any drama tonight, so just make sure Iris and Patrick don't start anything."

"All right, all right. Christ."

"Thank you. I'll keep an eye on him. Why don't you check on the girls?"

"I'll do what I want."

"Of course."

He decided to check on the girls, because he didn't know anybody else that wasn't chasing down a dog, and he was curious to see how the birthday girl was. She looked a little glum to be honest. What was wrong?

"You girls okay?"

Iris nodded slightly, eyes to the floor.

"A little sleepy," Sophia said for both of them. "You?"

"A little disappointed."

"Why?" Iris lifted her eyes.

"I—it's nothin'. You should look a little happier, Sophia. It is your birthday."

"Yep, my sweet sixteen." She smiled. "I get to have a sleepover. Mom decided it'd be nice to spend the night with the girls, and it would be better to leave early in the morning than in the middle of the night."

"Leave?" His throat tightened. "What do you mean, leave?"

"We're going to visit my aunt and uncle," she explained. "For four whole days. I think Mom needs time off from the shelter, and she really misses Karen. I do too. It'll be good for us."

"Yeah. It sounds good." His throat relaxed. "How do you feel? About bein' sixteen?"

"It feels like fifteen, but the now I can get a permit."

"If you need any lessons, let me know."

"Thanks, but Mom is gonna teach me. You can tag along and fear for your life like Iris will."

"It'll be fun." Iris wiggled her eyebrows. "I'm practicing my faces."

"Nah, I'm good. I got plans."

"You don't even know when it is."

"Trust me, I got plans."

"With a woman?" Sophia asked.

"W—what?" He was thrown.

"You don't need me for this awkward conversation." Iris scurried away.

"Why would you think that?" He sank onto the step beside her.

"Just asking."

"I'm not seein' anybody, Sophia. I don't wanna see anybody but your mom."

"Then why aren't you?"

"Now ain't the time—"

"It's my birthday, and it's time somebody told me what the hell happened between you two." She studied his eyes. "Tell me why you broke up."

"She wanted a break."

"A break? What does that mean?"

"Just some time apart so I could figure some stuff out. We'd get back together at some point, once things had settled."

"So, you're just on a break?"

"No. We broke up."

"Why?"

"Because I said the wrong thing, a stupid thing, and I didn't...say what I meant to."

"Can't you just tell her now?"

"I've tried, Sophia. Many times. I just can't."

"Then you're not ready for a relationship," she whispered. "Not one that Mom wants. Not one that she deserves. Or you deserve."

He nodded in agreement. "I'm tryin' to get there. It's...difficult."

"You'll get there." She smiled warmly at him. "You will."

"Glad to know I have your support."

"Always. Daryl, I'm on your side. Sorta. She's my mom, so I'm on hers too, but you know what I mean. I'm here to help if you need it, okay?"

"How's Axel?"

She was a little stunned by that. "He's good. He's really sweet too. He's done so much for this party, and I think Mom's running out of ways to thank him. Me too, though."

The living room was set up really nice, and it was perfect for Sophia's age and personality and interests. Carol had outdone herself, and Axel had given her a hand with almost all of it. It was a team effort. He used to be a part of the team, but he'd pushed himself out and only made it more difficult to get back in.

"Mom's good too," Sophia said, pulling him from his thoughts. "She's happy. Well, as happy as she can be. She misses you. I can see it more now."

"How'd you know she misses me?"

"I know my mom, and she gets this look in her eyes. I've never seen it on her before, but Iris has the same look, so I know what it means." She rubbed her arms. "You should think about what you want to say to her, and when we come back, say it to her. Or say something to her when you're ready."

"I'm not good at sayin' somethin'."

"Then do something. Give her a gesture the tells her everything you want to say."

"Gesture? Like what?"

She smiled. "I'm just a kid. Figure that out for yourself, Daryl." She rose and got something to drink.

Daryl huffed and rubbed his jaw, peering outside as Carol and Axel both got Honey back on her chain, and he noticed how Axel looked at Carol. He wasn't sure if it was friendly or not, but that didn't matter, because Carol was looking at him like she looked at Honey: full of love, but like a family member. He'd never been able to place the look until he and Honey were side by side. He knew deep down she didn't feel the same way toward him, but his mind always twisted things.

He scratched his head and made his way to Carol, needing to talk to her. "Carol?"

"Yes, Daryl?" She left Honey with Axel and joined him. "Mmm?"

"I need to talk to you."

She smiled. "No."

"What?" He frowned. "No?"

"I—Not today, Daryl. I don't want to hurt you, but I don't want Sophia's birthday to be remembered by us screaming at each other; and no matter how civil the conversation starts, it'll end that way. I don't want that. I'm sorry. We can talk when we get back from our trip, but not before." She stepped away. "I'm really sorry, Daryl."

"No, no, it's fine." He cleared his throat. "Sophia told me about the trip. I hope y'all have fun."

"You're leaving now, aren't you?" she whispered, crossing her arms.

He wanted to, but it was Sophia's day. He wanted to be here with her, so he'd stay until the cake was cut and then he would say goodbye to her and leave. "Not just yet."

"Good, because Sophia's been looking forward to seeing you." She rubbed her arm. "Enjoy yourself, Daryl, please."

"I'll try."

She opened her mouth to say more, but she instead smiled and nodded.

Sophia watched her mom and Daryl speak, Iris was beside her, watching Patrick and Carl and licking the icing off her cupcake, and both girls felt their hearts pinch. They returned to their seat on the steps, Iris sat with her back against the wall and her feet pulled in a little, still working on that cupcake; and Sophia was on the step below her, swirling her punch, knowing exactly what she was going to wish for when she blew out her sixteen candles.

"Are you going to tell Andrea?" Sophia whispered, gazing out at the people at her party.

"I don't know yet." She lifted her feet up and tapped them back down. "Are you going to cheer up and forget about Daryl and Carol fighting?"

"I don't know if I can." She met Iris' eyes. "They're both important people in my life, Iris. She's my mom, but Daryl's been like a dad to me since I was ten. I hate this fighting. I hate them not communicating. It hurts me so much, because I know how happy they could be. Happiness neither of them have ever experienced. It's killing me."

"Don't cry." Iris straightened and set a hand on Sophia's shoulder. "It may be your birthday, but please don't cry. It'll be okay. Adults are stupid sometimes, but they'll work it out, okay? We can't—make them work it out, even if it'd be for their own good, Sophia. We can only nudge."

"I wish I could nudge a little more." She calmed herself. "If I didn't love them so much, I wouldn't care."

"I know, right?" Iris sank down beside her and put an arm around her. "We'll be okay, and so will they. I promise."

She nodded.

"Let's go turn up the music and dance ourselves in to feeling better." She hopped up. "C'mon, you know you want to."

"I don't want to, but I will."

"Good, because you need to spent time with Carl. He's trying to distract Patrick for me, and he needs to stop. I can take care of myself, so go dance with your boyfriend."

"Who are you going to dance with?"

"Me, of course." Lizzie grinned.

Sophia smiled. "That oughta cheer me up if the dancing doesn't."

"Yep," Lizzie and Iris chimed.

––

It was time to open the gifts everybody had brought, Carol decided to let the car be the last gift Sophia got, and it was perfect. She loved all of them and the car. She couldn't drive it just yet, but once they were back, they'd squeeze in lessons and Sophia would be a driver in no time. Iris could learn to drive with this car too.

Daryl watched Sophia and her friends gush over the car from the steps, picking at the slice of cake he'd been handed by somebody, and Iris joined him, taking the cake and eating it since he wasn't. He didn't object, and he was glad to have somebody eat it. Honey had enough junk, and he didn't want to make her throw up.

"You did that, didn't you?" She nodded her heard toward the car, taking another bite of cake.

"Yeah, been workin' on it since she was ten."

"Then why are you moping over here instead of out there with her?"

"Just don't wanna crowd her."

"You don't want to be near Carol," Iris corrected. "That's why I'm here. Well, I'm avoiding Patrick, not Carol."

"Like father, like daugher," was his reply.

"Yep." She crossed her legs and set the plate on her lap. "Still green over Axel?"

"Tsh, no."

"Tsh, yes." She smiled at him. "You don't have to lie. I'd be jealous too. I've actually been jealous over one of Patrick's friends before. She's a total bitch and would try to get him to cheat on me. Mom made me see that it didn't matter what one person wanted, you know? If Molly did want to get with Patrick, it didn't matter as long as Patrick said no to any of her come ons."

He shifted slightly. "Andrea said that?"

"Yeah. Now it doesn't matter, because we've broken up, but I realized how little credit I gave Patrick. I didn't know his relationship with Molly, so I didn't know they were like brother and sister, and I was crazy. I took it out on myself, trying to be better than her, trying to make him see that I was better, but he already saw that. He already loved me. I was just...scared."

"Scared of what?"

"I don't know." Her lips quivered, and her voice was deeper. "I'm...used to people abandoning me. Men, anyway. I guess...I just expected him to leave too. I'm not really that...good of a person, and I can see how compelling Molly is. She's not a mess like me. She's not... Her life is easy and mine is...a storm of drama and—and confusion and nightmares. I'm not the type of person you take home to meet the parents."

"Neither am I," Daryl informed her. "But you don't need to worry about that. You're still a kid, and you still got growin' to do. You ain't mature yet. I know the break up with Patrick hurts now, but you'll get better. And you can't keep thinkin' people are gonna abandon you. I ain't, and your mom ain't, not ever. You're our kid, and we'd hunt you to the end of the Earth, you understand?"

Her gloss blue eyes met his. "Really?"

"Really. You're never goin' to be alone. You know how your mom is, and while you don't know me or much about me, I'm just like that too. I ain't gonna leave you."

"You did once."

"And never again."

"Do you mean that?"

"I do, Iris."

She nodded and cleared her throat. "Take this. I have to use the bathroom." She handed over the cake and padded up the stairs, rushing to the bathroom and locking herself in. She gripped the sink in the dark, not wanting to see her reflection, and she buried her face in her arms.

Daryl set the plate of cake on the counter in the kitchen and heard feet behind him and then Sophia called to him. He was met with a tight hug when he turned. "What's this for?"

"Your gifts." She kissed his cheek and released him. "Thank you, Daryl. Mom told me about the car, and I love it so much."

"You're welcome. It was a good hobby."

She beamed. "And the gift you picked out for me was really sweet. I loved it. You didn't have to get me two gifts though."

"I wanted to."

"Then thank you very much." She noticed the piece of cake. "Did you like it?"

"Iris ate that. She's upstairs, had to use the bathroom. I was just about to leave, actually."

She frowned. "What? Why?"

"Merle. I needa check in on him."

"Merle." She pressed her lips together. "Can I go with you?"

"What?"

"Well, the party's almost over, and I want to meet him. I've wanted to meet him for a long time, and nobody's gonna miss me here."

"Everybody will miss you. It's _your_ party."

"For my birthday, and I want to meet Merle. Mom will understand, and if it'll make you feel better, I'll talk to her first."

"Fine, but if she says no, you'd best tell me she said no."

"Cross my heart."

He waited about ten minutes, Sophia came back grinning, and he sighed. "She said yes?"

"Yep! People are about to leave anyway, so if you would just wait so I could say goodbye, I'd really appreciate it."

"I'll be here."

He waited while Sophia said goodbye to the parents and male guests and the girls helped Carol clean up. Andrea was hanging around for a bit, but she had other plans. Axel was going to help take down the decorations for Carol, and Daryl offered his aid while Sophia and Carl said goodbye.

"Axel's cleaning up the backyard, so why don't you take down the banner? I'll deal with the balloons." She set the unused paper plates in the pantry since Lizzie and Iris had put the food away. She was going to put all the balloons in Sophia's room since they were hers and it was likely the girls were going to inhale the helium for funny voices. She would do a count of them when she checked on the girls later today.

"Here." She held out a plastic bucket that held the other party supplies, and Daryl put the banner neatly inside. "So, you're taking her to meet Merle?"

"You said it was okay."

"I did. I was just going to ask how long you'd be."

"I dunno. An hour or two. It depends on how well they get along."

She nodded. "You'll keep an eye on her, right?"

"Merle ain't gonna hurt her."

"I know he won't. It's been muddy around your house. I know Merle likes to walk the property, and I don't want Sophia to slip and hurt herself."

"How'd you know that?"

"His boots. They were muddy when he came to see me."

He nodded. "I'll keep 'em inside."

"Thanks."

"Need me to take that?"

"No, I've got it. Why don't you see if Sophia's ready to leave?" She adjusted her grip on the handles. "I don't want the girls to get restless, so you two should leave while I still have work for them."

"Uh, right." He checked on Sophia, and she was waiting by the truck with Iris. "I'm takin' both of you?"

"Nope. I just came to keep Sophia company while you panted over Carol," Iris mused. "Now you're here, so I'm gonna go eat the cheese cubes."

"I'll see you tonight."

"Yep." Iris smiled. "Bye, Daryl."

He gave a nod. "You all good to go?"

"Unless I should change in to jeans." She looked down at her dress and tennis shoes.

"Nah, you're good. We're stayin' in."

"Then yes."

He opened the door for her and walked around to the driver's side, climbing in and putting his seat belt on. He looked back to back out of the driveway, his eyes catching Carol and Axel saying goodbye. It wasn't like before. Something was different, and Carol was grinning, and Axel was smiling too. He was telling her about something—he couldn't read lips—and then she tackled him in a big, tight hug. Daryl's clenched his jaw and tried to loosen his grip on the wheel, but he wanted to get out and pry Axel off Carol. He'd have to pry too, with a damn crowbar, they were hugging so tight.

Sophia looked at Daryl when he didn't back up, and she followed his livid gaze to Axel and her mom, and she had to lean forward, because now Daryl was backing out. She wanted to tell him it'd be all right, that it was just a hug to thank him for all of his help, but she didn't know that. Even if she did, Daryl wasn't going to listen right now. He was either furious or jealous or a horrible combination of both. She would find out when they got to his place. Or by how white his knuckles were getting.


	16. Always And Ever Is My Love For You

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

Sophia stuffed her bag into the truck of the car, the morning dew settling over her hair, and she yawned, ready to get in the car and sleep. She rubbed her eye and saw her mom explaining Honey's schedule to Maggie, and she wondered why it wasn't Axel. They had agreed on Axel. What happened between them? She was a little nervous to find out. Well, maybe he just had plans of his own. Axel did seem a little distracted at the party, so that may be it.

"I'll take her to the farm," Maggie told Carol. "It'll be good for her. Fresh air, plenty of space, and she can spend time with her brother. Beth will love it. She's comin' home, and she'll need some company."

"That's great. Thank you, Maggie."

"Don't mention it. I owe you."

"You do, but still I appreciate it."

"Have a good time with Karen and Ty and the kids." She hugged her briefly. "I'll see you when you get back. Drive careful."

"I will." She smiled and met Sophia at the car. "You ready, sleepyhead?"

"Yes." She tugged her blue butterfly blanket over her.

"I'm going to play music, you okay with that?"

"I'll be asleep in ten seconds, so yep. It won't bother me."

Carol backed up and pulled out, waving to Maggie, and she looked over shortly at Sophia, who had curled up and was drifting off. She smiled and turned on some music, feeling good about this road trip. She couldn't wait to see Karen and Ty and the kids. She missed them, and she needed to talk to Karen.

––

It was barely morning, the sky was a slight blue and dew was covering the grass. The sounds of night were shifting gently into the hums of morning, and Iris was heaving in to the wastebasket in her closet, not wanting her mom to hear. Well, that and not being close enough to the bathroom. She was glad there was a bag inside the wastebasket. It would be easier to clean up. She had a feeling she wouldn't always be so lucky.

She crawled out of her closet and dropped on to the rug, the dim light of day creeping in through her blinds, and she would rather die than go to school today. She felt like she was dying. She felt like she was being punished rather than creating life.

She buried her face in the pillow that had fallen to the floor when she woke up gagging, and she coiled up. She would have to throw out that bag before Mom woke up, or her entire room would stink and she would either be ratted out or thought sick. It would be the first, because Mom knew she would have told her if she was sick just to get out of school.

She needed a plan. She needed to think of a plan soon, because she couldn't keep this hidden forever. She needed Sophia's help, but that wasn't possible at the current moment or next few days, so she was on her own. She had a few options. She could tell them, or run away and have the child, give it up for adoption and come back, or run away and raise the child while struggling through life.

She moaned in to the pillow. Oh, what lovely options.

––

Daryl couldn't sleep. He didn't know why, but every damn time he almost drifted off, he snapped awake. He was worried it might be about Carol and Sophia's road trip, but Sophia had texted him and told them it was going well so far. She even sent a picture. He thought it might be Iris, and he didn't want to disturb her since she had school today. He would call Andrea just to make sure a little later. They needed to talk anyway, and he could try and ease the knot in his stomach.

He shifted into an upright position and ran a hand down his face. He looked over suddenly and saw Merle sitting in his window. "What the hell, Merle?!"

"Good morin' to you too, little brother." He chuckled.

"What the hell are you doin' in my room?"

"I needed to talk to you, and I wanted to make sure you weren't gonna run off."

"Talk about what?"

"Your little girlfriend."

"She ain't my girlfriend, not anymore."

"Daryl, I met the woman. If you wanted her back, all you'd have to do was apologize or talk to her."

"Tssh, well you don't know shit. She won't talk to me."

"You don't wanna talk to her more like." He set his cup of coffee beside him. "She's a good woman, Daryl."

"How would you know? You only met her once and briefly."

"I can just tell."

He scoffed. "I'm gonna get ready for work."

"I called you off, told Maggie you were sick."

"Why would you do that? That's my job, Merle!"

"Please, we both know you money saved away, and Maggie was real understandin' about it." He locked eyes with him. "You needa tell her."

"Tell her what?"

"You know what, Daryl. You needa tell her about Joe and how you feel about her."

"Hell. No."

"Why not? What's the worst thing that could happen?"

"She'll know!" he hissed. "I ain't about to let her—"

"This is why y'all broke up!" Merle erupted. "How were you ever gonna date that woman if you won't even tell her our son of a bitch father used to beat the shit out of us? Did you think she wouldn't see the scars? Did you think she'd sleep in the next room?"

Daryl averted his eyes.

"You love this woman, but you ain't gonna tell her about your past? You know hers. _I_ know hers. Why can't she know yours, Daryl? Eh?"

"It'll—change everythin'."

"It's already broken y'all up. You haven't worked through shit, Daryl. You're still the same little insecure crybaby who followed me around like a lost goddamn puppy!"

His jaw tightened. "I'm not."

"You are. You don't even see it." He shook his head. "You gotta tell her, Daryl. You gotta tell her so y'all can work through it. If you don't ever plan on tellin' her then get the hell over her and let her move on!"

"I—I can't just...get over her," he informed his brother.

"Then talk to her."

"Or what? You will?"

"No. It's not my responsibility to tell her. I'm not the one in love with her. I'm not the one who thinks of her kid as my own. I'm just your brother, and I'm concerned. I've never seen you like this over a woman, and I hope you listen to me. We've...been through too goddamn much to lose the few good things that come to us."

"The hell happened to you?" Daryl demanded. "You just walked out of my life when I thought _my daughter was dead_ and now here you are tryin' tell me _what's good for me_. Shit, you're probably gonna leave again anyway."

"It don't matter about any of that," Merle snapped. "Do you wanna be miserable and alone for the rest of your life? Sure, you got Iris now, but eventually you'll only see her on the holidays. And Sophia and you will grow apart, 'cause kids and grown ups don't stay friends long." Daryl rolled his eyes and tried to speak, but Merle didn't let him. "And Carol? In time she'll move on, and your sorry ass will still be in love with her until you die."

"Fuck you, Merle." He stormed out of the room.

"You know I'm right!" Merle called just before the front door slammed shut. He shook his head. Daryl was a dumbass, but he hoped eventually he would listen. A lot had changed with both of them, but one thing. Daryl was hardheaded and it would destroy him one day. Merle was like that too. Hell, he was worse, and he wanted better for his brother. If this didn't work, maybe he should go and tell Carol, because she would move on and Daryl would have even more reasons to hate himself.

– – –

By the time they arrived at Karen and Ty's, it was nightfall, and they had made dinner. Karen tackled them both in a bear hug, Maddie and Ty had to wait about ten minutes to hug them, and then they sat down for dinner. They didn't talk about much then. They were both pretty tired so after they ate Karen showed them to their room and let them get settled in.

"I slept almost the entire way here. Why am I so sleepy?" Sophia cuddled up on her side of the bed. "Hmm."

Carol smiled and tossed an extra pillow at her. "Scoot over." She lied down. "How's Iris?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Isn't that who you were texting the entire way here?"

"Oh, well, no."

"Then who was it?"

"Daryl."

"Oh. How is he then?"

"He was worried about us. He had a bad feeling, so he wanted to check and make sure we were all right." She searched her mom's eyes. "He wanted to see how you were too."

She just nodded.

"Do you miss him?"

"Miss him? Sophia, we haven't even been gone a day."

"Your relationship with him, I mean—and you knew that."

"It doesn't matter."

"It does matter, Mom. If you love him, it matters."

"And who says that I do?"

"You. All the time when you're with him. You don't have to say it for me to know you love him and that he loves you. I know you'll tell me to keep my nose out of it, but I just want you to know that I support whatever decision you make as long as it doesn't hurt you." Carol met her eyes. "I love you both, and I hope guys work it out. I hate all this fighting lately, and I hate how much pain everyone in is."

"Sophia—"

"Just don't make up your mind until you know he's willing to change or not. He's had a hard life, just like us, and I think he still struggles with it."

"What do you mean? Has he told you something?"

"No. I'm just...guessing. But I mean it. Think it through, Mom."

"I already have, honey." She rolled onto her side. "And you _do_ need to keep your nose out of it."

"And I will. I just wanted to say that."

She smiled and grasped her daughter's cheeks. "You're an angel, and it's disgusting how much I love you."

"Tell me about it."

She kissed her forehead. "Get some sleep."

"You too."

They both fell asleep quickly and slept through the night. They were woken up by Maddie, who had school and wanted to see if they wanted breakfast. They ate, and Ty took Sophia with him when he drove Maddie to school, leaving Karen and Carol behind.

"I know you didn't come all the way down here for coffee and my pancakes." Karen led Carol to the porch where they sat on a cushioned wicker bench and drank coffee. "What's going on with you?"

"A lot." She rubbed her finger over the design on her mug. "Daryl and I broke up."

"What?" She gasped. "When? Why?"

"It's been a few days now." She met her eyes. "There are so many reasons why. I wanted to tell you, but over the phone just... I wanted to do it face-to-face."

"What happened?" She set her cup on the glass table beside them and scooted closer. "Tell me everything."

Carol rehashed the events leading up to the break up and the break up itself, shedding tears she had kept inside for too long, and Karen comforted her. It was nice to finally be able to talk about it. She didn't want to drag Andrea in to it any further, because she needed to be on good terms with Daryl. If Carol told her all of it then she would question him and they would fight, and she didn't want to put Iris through that. She didn't want to put Daryl through that. She kept it in, but finally she could talk about it and not over the phone. She needed this, more than she thought she did.

"Oh, God." Karen handed her another tissue. "I'm so sorry."

"I...I was going to tell him that night." Her voice was thick and practically a whisper.

"I'm really sorry, honey." She squeezed her hand.

"Don't be sorry, Karen. It wasn't your fault."

"Do... Have you two talked about it since?"

"Not really. I think he wanted to yesterday, but I couldn't. I said it was because of Sophia's birthday, and that was partly true, but...mostly I just can't. I can't think about it." She shook her head. "I broke up with the first man that I've ever loved, because he doesn't trust me. That's one good thing about Axel. He trusts me."

"Wait, are you two—?"

"No! No, no. I just—I don't know where I was going with that." She slumped.

"Good, because I would have kicked your ass. I like Daryl more than Axel."

"You don't know Axel."

"Still." She met her eyes. "And you can't do that. Compare two completely different men. They're apples and oranges. Axel is a good friend, I take it, and Daryl...is the man you love. Unless you have secret feelings for Axel."

"I don't. He just...is easy to talk to. He's funny and nice. He _is_ a good friend." She exhaled. "I don't know why I said that. I'm just exhausted." And it wasn't tired exhausted. She'd slept well last night. She wasn't sure what it was, but she hoped it went away.

"Love is exhausting. You'll get used to it."

"At this rate, I won't. At this rate...I won't even be able to see him at work without cringing." She heaved a sigh. "I'm trying to understand why he doesn't trust me. We were friends before we started dating. He trusted me then, but suddenly I can't be trusted because we're dating? I didn't do anything differently."

"Your entire relationship changed. He—he didn't have to worry about someone trying to take you away as friends. You two had that unbreakable friendship, but your romantic one might not have felt like that to him. Daryl seems like an insecure person, and I don't think it's entirely you."

"His brother said he was jealous and afraid."

"Jealous? Of who?"

"Axel." She rolled her eyes.

"Axel?" Her brows rose. "He thought Axel was going to try and steal you from him? Didn't Axel ask you out once and never pressed it again once you rejected him?"

"Yeah. We're just friends now. He's like an uncle to Sophia, and the kids at the shelter love him." She smiled a little. "Actually, he's like a goofy brother to me."

"Did you tell Daryl that?"

"Yes, and he thinks all of the things Axel does for me mean more to me than he does. He thinks Axel's trying to get close to me and Sophia so that I'll eventually be able to return feelings he once had for me and cheat on Daryl with him. Well, it wouldn't be cheating anymore."

"Dear God." She wanted to smack her hand to her forehead.

"Exactly." She exhaled. "I would never cheat anyone. I don't know where Daryl got the idea that I'd start now with Axel or the next guy that comes along and gives me the time of day. I would never hurt someone I love like that. I wouldn't hurt them at all!"

"It sounds like Daryl has some unresolved issues with a previous relationship."

"He hasn't ever had a relationship like ours," Carol stated.

"Neither have you," Karen said. "I know you want to pin it all on Daryl, and it'd be easier than talking about the real issue here, but we're gonna have to talk about it."

"What are you talking about?"

"Carol, don't. You know what I'm talking about." She searched her eyes. "The last time you were physical with someone, it was Ed, and it wasn't...something you consented to, just endured. You can't think that didn't leave a mark."

She didn't say anything.

"You told me about the first time you two tried, and you froze up. That meant something, sweetie. You're not separating Daryl and Ed in that department. You know the difference, but your body doesn't. It still expects the punishment Ed dealt out. You need to work through that."

"Work through it," she softly and almost laughingly muttered. "How would I even begin to undo over ten years of...what he did to me?"

"It won't be easy, but it'll be so worth it." She gripped her hand. "Once it's all sorted for you and for Daryl then you two can really try a relationship."

"How can we date if he won't even admit to his problems? _Merle_ told me about the fear and envy, not Daryl."

"You'll just have to prod him." She thought for a second. "Maybe it was his parents. His mom or dad could've cheated on the other and that stuck with him."

"I don't know. He hardly ever talks about his parents."

"That could be it then."

"Then he should have told me about that and not accused me of wanting to be with someone else. It pisses me off when I think about it for too long. If I thought it would get some answers, I'd barge into his house and demand to know why he thought of me like that."

"Try. You never know."

She smiled a little. "He would clam up. He's not exactly a Chatty Kathy to people who don't rudely barge into his house."

"I think you need to just sit and talk it out then see what you want. Only after you've worked through own problems."

"I can't. I can't talk it out with him."

"And why not?"

"Iris."

"She'll understand. She's a kid. Kids are amazingly resilient."

"Not her. She's been through so much in the past month, and I have to know she's okay mentally. I've seen her in too much pain, and I want her to get comfortable with Andrea and Daryl before I talk to him. I don't want her try and handle me on top of them and breaking up with her first love and her senior year and all of the stress of scholarships and grades. It's just too much."

"What about you? I want you to be okay mentally. I want you to be happy, and you're not. Not really."

"I am happy, Karen. I'm just...sad too."

She sighed. "When will you consider talking to Daryl?"

"When I know Iris is okay and that her relationships with Daryl and Andrea are good. I know she and Andrea are all right now, so it's just her and Daryl I'm worrying about. I think they're getting there though."

"Good. I want you to call me and tell me how your talk goes." She rubbed her thumb over her knuckles. "And I want you to work through this whole Ed mess, okay? Professionally. You can't do everything alone, and I don't want you to have to."

"I will. I promise." She snuffled.

"Good. I can scratch it off my stress list." She smirked.

"All right, enough about me. How are you?"

"I'm great. I love this town and our house." She frowned a little. "Maddie is having a hard time adjusting to the new school, but her teachers are very helpful and understanding. Her grades are good. I don't think she's made a friend yet, but she'll get there."

"Oh, I'm sure she will. She just needs to get comfortable there. She's very outgoing and kind, and she'll find friends who see that." She wiped the tissue under her nose. "How's Tyreese?"

"He's adjusted well. He has friends at work, of course. Charming as he is." She smiled. "I think he's the most adjusted then me and then the kids."

"What's going on with Harris?"

"He's been really difficult since we moved. I'm hoping he grows out of it, but I don't know." She ran a hand through her hair. "I hope once he sees you, he'll stop being so challenging. He's always been better behaved with company, and you have a way with kids too."

"I didn't come here to babysit."

"You came to talk to me about your man troubles, and talk we have. We'll talk more later, if you want, but I need to check on him. Wanna give me a hand?"

"That has always meant 'Do you want to do all the work'," Carol reminded her.

"Fine." She dragged her feet.

"All right, move it." Carol decided to give her a hand.

– – –

"You got a minute?" Daryl asked Andrea in the doorway to her office.

"Only a minute." She stood up. "What can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to see how Iris was."

"I think she's sick, but she's hiding it. I don't know why, but she's pale and her forehead was warm this morning. She just rushed out the door. I think it's about Patrick, but I'm not certain." She picked up a folder. "If you think you can get it out of her, I'll bring her by your place."

"No, it's fine, just wonderin'."

"Okay." She tapped her finger on the folder. "I saw what you did with Sophia's birthday present. The car."

"Yeah, just...did what I knew she'd liked. Carol gave me most of the ideas."

"It was nice. I could barely recognize it." She paused and informed him, "I'm buying a car for Iris. I'm almost done paying it off, but it's... not exactly her tastes. Shane's going to help me with it, but I'd really appreciate it if you could lend us a hand. I don't have years until I give to her, and if we all work on it together, it'll be done faster. It's really simple, what we plan to do." She just wanted it done quickly, so that Iris got it sooner. It might cheer her up, and she needed cheering up right now.

"I'd love to."

"Really?" She smiled gratefully, and he nodded. "Thanks, Daryl. I'll have it by spring break, and I'm sending Iris to Florida to visit my parents. She's been wanting too, and it'll give us an entire week. It's easier than them coming down to see us, so we'll have to find another time for you to meet them."

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Great. I have to deal with this, but is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yeah, I got a date for when we can met Ruth."

"Oh? When?"

"This Wednesday. I figure we can take Iris after school. I'm off. Can you make it?"

"I can make time, yeah. I want to be there for her. We should both be there for her," she corrected herself. "I don't like Ruth, and I don't want her to...hurt Iris's feelings, so you might need to hold me back."

"Only if you keep me from yellin' at that old bitch."

She laughed. "Deal. I'll see you on Wednesday." She patted his shoulder and walked out.

He wasn't sure how he felt about Iris meeting Ruth, but he was glad he wasn't the only one there who didn't like her. He hoped they could help Iris through whatever crap Ruth tried to pull, and she would pull something. She always did. She was probably sharpening her claws right now. He hoped she stabbed herself with them. After all the shits she's done, it would be too good for her.

––

Iris sat with her legs to her chest as her class played volleyball with the class currently in physically education, and she felt like it was taking everything in her power not to curl up and sleep. She didn't want to be at school. She didn't have anybody to talk to about the real problems in her life. Lizzie wasn't here today, and Carl was Patrick's best friend, and there was no way in hell she was telling him about her carrying his child. Fuck. That. Fuck this day, fuck that ball, fuck everything!

"Here."

She looked up and gaped at Patrick, who was offering her a bottle of ginger ale, and when she didn't take it or look away, he reached down and set it in her lap. "What are you doing?"

"You look sick, so I bought you some ginger ale for your stomach. Could I?"

"Yeah, please." She moved her purse and grasped the bottle of ginger ale. "Thank you, Patrick. I can pay you back."

"Nah, it's fine." He glanced at the teams. "Who's winning?"

"I don't know. I only pay attention when the boys throw hissy fits. It's just a game, and not even a real one. No one's keeping score, and there's not even a reward." She laughed with him as another fit broke out. "God, they're just so intense."

"Where's Sophia at?"

"Out of town with Carol. They're going to visit her aunt and uncle for a few days, which sucks because that leaves me totally alone. Carol desperately needed a break so I won't whine."

"You're not alone." He met her eyes. "You have Lizzie and Carl and—and the team."

"I can't talk about my problems with Carl or the team, and Lizzie's not here, if you haven't noticed." She twisted the cap open and took a drink.

"You have me," he carefully reminded her. "You can tell me your problems."

"Patrick—"

"Just because we're not dating doesn't mean we can't be friends. I'd like to be in your life, Iris. You...mean a lot to me, and I don't want to cut you out."

"Me neither." She exhaled. "But I don't want to make any mistakes. I'm still... and it's a challenge to even sit with you during lunch."

"I feel the same way, but we can make it work, can't we?"

She pursed her lips. "We can try."

He nudged her thigh. "Tell me what your problems are."

"Well, I think one of the girls in my class is pregnant," she started. "It's not my problem, but I feel like people are gonna treat her bad. It's shit, 'cause the guy never gets any crap from the students. It's not like she did it all by herself, you know?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "It is shit. I hope she'll be okay."

"Me too."

"Are you going to prom?" he inquired.

"Uhh, no. Definitely not going to prom." She crossed her legs.

"Wow, that was a quick no. Why not?"

"It—it's a lot of money and hairspray and bobby pins for just one night. Besides I wouldn't have a date, and it'd be awful without someone I liked, so no." And she'll likely be showing, so no, definitely no. "Umm, are you going?"

"Yeah. It's my senior prom." He adjusted his glasses.

"Do you have a date in mind?" She was holding her breath.

"Not yet. I might not take one. I dunno." He shrugged. "I could always ask Molly. She's been hinting at us going together these past few days. She doesn't want to be the only one without a date, and she wants her pictures to be perfect."

Her throat closed. "Molly?"

"Yeah. She mostly wants to attend the after party."

"There's an after party?"

He nodded.

"With, like, drinking and stuff?"

"Probably."

"I didn't think you were into the kind of thing."

"I'm not, but why not? I've never done anything like it before, and I shouldn't leave Molly alone at a party like that."

"Yeah, wouldn't want to do that." She tipped back the bottle and drank until it was halfway empty.

"Iris, I'm not saying this to make you jealous or to upset you. It's just the truth."

"I know it is." She closed the bottle and repressed a burp. "It's just... I know Molly has plans for after prom and after the after party. It's who she is."

"She can have all the plans in the world, but that doesn't mean they involve me."

"Don't they?"

"Iris, I haven't even asked her, and she hasn't asked me. She's just hinting—it's what she does. I might just go without a date. I haven't decided."

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do this."

"Iris, please wait." He gripped her elbow. "Just...let's talk about something else, just don't walk away."

"I have to walk away, Patrick." She pulled her arm free. "Maybe later we can try to be friends, but it's too raw right now. I'm sorry." She climbed down the seats and asked to the use the bathroom. She tucked the bottle of ginger ale into her purse and ambled down the hall, checking her watch to see how much longer she'd have to suffer through that class. At least in forth they had assigned seats, and the teacher was here and they didn't have to combine them with P.E.

– – –

"The trip's going great," Sophia answered, changing her shoes to join Ty and Maddie. "We're only down here for two more days, but it's been great so far."

" _I'm glad. You sound happy_."

"'Cause I am. Mom is too. She's been smiling a lot more. It's good to see."

Daryl smiled a little. " _How is she?_ "

"She spaces out sometimes, but I think she's thinking about you. She gets this look, and it reminds me of the one she gives you. Gave you." She slipped in to her jacket. "I have to go shopping, but I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

" _Yeah. Thanks for callin' me today._ "

"You and Iris."

" _How is Iris? She's been weird. She won't say nothin' to me about it. In fact, she pretends that she's not acting strangely._ "

"Well, you guys are going to see Ruth tomorrow, so that's probably it. She's just anxious. She'll be fine once you all sit down."

" _You're probably right._ "

"Don't worry so much, Daryl. It'll be fine. I gotta go. Bye."

" _Bye."_

She set the phone on the end table and caught up to her uncle and cousin. She saw Mom and Karen with Harris, and they were talking about something. They'd spent a lot of time together in the past two days, and Sophia was curious what they were always talking about. She also wondered when Karen was going to spend time with her. She loved Ty and Maddie, but she missed her aunt too. She understood that Mom needed the support Karen was giving her and probably vice versa, but still. Maybe tomorrow Ty could take Mom somewhere with Maddie and Harry so Karen and Sophia could hang out. Maybe.

––

"Iris." Andrea finished her coffee. "Let's go!" She checked the time, but she'd forgotten to put her watch on. She rushed to her room to grab it, only it wasn't that easy to grab as it wasn't in it's usual place.

Iris padded downstairs and grabbed her lunch bag and a tucked a few extra chocolate goodies into her purse. She plugged her ears with her earbuds, digging the daggers in by playing her and Patrick's song. She waited for her mom and checked the time on her phone, muttering, "Sure, rush me and then take your sweet time."

"Iris?"

She paused the song and pulled an earbud out. "What?"

"Have you seen my watch?"

"Uhh, which one?"

"The one Amy bought me a few years ago. It's my favorite one. Did you borrow it?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry. I lost mine, but I found it yesterday. It's in my room, in that clay bowl. Hey, could you bring mine down with you?"

"Yes, and please ask me next time, all right?"

"I will."

"You'd better."

Iris tucked hair behind her ear and started to push play when the world stopped as the location she'd just given her mom came screaming back to her. She dropped her lunch bag in her rush and bolted up the stairs, but it felt like she was moving in slow motion. She ran into her room too late, her hair falling like a waterfall into her face, resting gently back on her shoulders as her eyes fell on the pregnancy test in her mom's hand. It was as if her mom were frozen; that annoying little curl as she called it was in her face between her eyes that were slightly widening, her mouth open in a small O, and her entire body was locked in place. She stared at her mom who stared at the little plus sign _,_ still holding the watches she had originally came for.

Andrea lifted her eyes to her daughter's terrified face, the watches falling from her fingers and landing in the floor as she walked over to the bed and had a seat. She said nothing, but she hadn't let go of the pregnancy test. She was lost in thought. She knew the how and the who, but it still wasn't processing. None of it was processing.

Iris felt ashamed, her shoulder slumped, her head bowed, and she couldn't look at her mother. She pulled her arms in and hugged herself, knowing exactly what her mom must be thinking. Her daughter was such trash. Her daughter was a slut. Her daughter? She wasn't her daughter. She was Daryl's daughter, and only a stupid Dixon would get knocked up at sixteen. She might as well just send Iris back to Daryl now.

Tears burned in her eyes, her slumped shoulders began to shake, and she clenched her jaw, wanting this to stop. She wanted it all to stop. She had come up with a plan at last and now this. Why did this happen? She had been so careful, planning all of this, and she fucked up in the last second. Damn it, why did this happen? This was the last thing she thought would happen.

"Iris." Andrea released the pregnancy test and stood up. "Honey, it's—it's—" Unable to finish her sentence, she embraced her daughter, and it only made Iris cry more. "Shh, shh. You're okay. You're okay."

"I'm so sorry." She sobbed. "I'm so sorry."

Andrea held her closer, but said nothing, just rubbed her back.

"I know I'm stu—stupid, and I ma—make mistakes, but I—I was going—going to fix th—this." She whimpered. "I—I was going to ma—make ever—everything better."

Andrea pulled back to hold her at arm's length. "Iris, you are not stupid, and everyone makes mistakes. It's what makes us human." She wiped away her tears. "I hate when you say those things about yourself. I love you, and this doesn't change that."

She said nothing, her lips quivering.

Andrea held her daughter until she finally calmed down. she then called work to inform them she'd be in late and called the school to inform them Iris wouldn't there then she sat Iris down to have a talk. They sat on Andrea's bed in her room, Iris was curled up by the head of the bed, hugging her legs to her chest, and Andrea sat across from her, her legs crossed. It was silent, and the silence only made Iris cringe.

"I'm not surprised you didn't tell me. After the last time we talked, I understand why you kept it to yourself." She cleared her throat. "Does Patrick know?"

She shook her head.

She exhaled. "Well, we'll get to that. Have you taken more than one test? It might not be accurate."

"It's real, Mom. I took that from the pharmacy we went too, and two others I got from friends."

"Iris, you stole this? And what friends?"

"Not friends, their parents. I was scared that if I bought a test you'd find out, because everyone knows everyone in this town."

"Scared I'd find out?" Andrea frowned. "W—were you not going to tell me?"

Iris lowered her eyes and curled up even more.

"Iris Elena Harrison, please tell me you weren't planning on aborting this child." She knew the answer, because she knew her daughter. She moved beside her, turning to face Iris. "Were you ever going to tell me?"

"I—" Her voice failed her.

"You?" Andrea repeated.

"I don't know what I was going to do," she replied. "I—I thought I could do something about this on my own, but I realize it wouldn't have worked for anybody. I—I wasn't going to tell you, because I didn't want you to be disappointed in me, or be angry at me, or hate me."

"Hate you? For getting pregnant?" She shook her head. "Iris, I would never hate you, especially not over something like this. It's not how I planned on becoming a grandmother, but it's not like we can change anything."

"But you're still disappointed in me."

"Yes, I am. You told me you and Patrick had safe sex."

"We did," Iris assured her. "I—I guess the condom broke or something. I don't know how it happened, but it did."

"Are you sure he even put it on right?"

Iris made a face. "Let's just say it broke, please."

Andrea smiled. "It's a little late to get squeamish, don't you think?"

She swallowed. "I want to have this baby and raise it, but I know how tight money is right now. I—I'll put it up for adoption. I'm sure there are people out there who want a baby but can't have one. Good people."

"Hell no." Andrea made a face this time. "Iris, we might not have money flying out of our asses, but we can make this work. And it's not just us. Amy will want to pitch in, and your dad too. My parents even."

"Really?" Her eyes filled with tears again.

"Really. We'll go through this together, as always."

Iris hugged her. "Thank you, Mom."

"I can't believe you thought I would hate you." She pulled back to look at her. "Iris, it should be illegal how much I love you. I love you so much it hurts when I think about it. You should know that."

"I do know that. I just—I got scared, and I forgot. I won't forget."

"Good." She pulled her back in to her arms. "It'll be okay."

––

"I'll make us breakfast." Andrea scratched her brow. "Eggs whites with cheese and waffles. Waffles sound good, don't they?"

"I guess it doesn't matter. I have to gain weight, and I have to eat." She tucked hair behind her ear and met her mom's slightly confused gazed. "Thanks for being so understanding. I don't have a plaque or anything, but you completely get Mom of the Year."

"Well, you might revoke that honor." She sat down beside her. "I have conditions."

"Oh, okay." She braced herself.

"You going on a diet, not to lose weight just to get you healthy. I know you ate chicken nuggets and chocolate milk for dinner last night, and we're having none of that. I'll also be packing your lunch from now on."

"Condition one kinda sucks."

"Two," Andrea continued. "We're going to have Daryl over for dinner tonight, and you're going to tell him about the baby."

"Great, that's just what he wants to hear. I'm back in his life for what, a week? And I'm knocked up. He'll be so pleased."

"Three, tomorrow night I'm going to have Patrick over, and you're going to tell him you're pregnant."

"What?" Iris exclaimed. "Why? Why do I have to tell him? Daryl I get, but Patrick? That's—that's not fair!"

"Yes, it is fair. It's his baby as much as it is yours," she corrected. "You didn't crawl on top of yourself and get yourself pregnant, now did you?" Iris glared. "Didn't think so."

"What else is there? Do I have to tell the entire school?"

"Just your teachers and Tara, but I can do that."

She whined softly.

"I'm going to pick up some prenatal vitamins once we're done with breakfast." She met her daughter's eyes. "We'll work this out money wise. Daryl and I will get together and work it out, so don't stress about it."

"All right." She crossed her arms. "Do I have to tell Patrick?"

"Give me one reason why I should revoke that rule?"

"He doesn't have to go through any of this—I do!"

"Not convincing enough."

"It's still true," she huffed.

It dawned her on her then. "That's why you broke up with him, isn't it? It wasn't so he'd go to college and experience it as a single young man; it was because you were pregnant. You knew he'd hang back to take care of you and his child."

"So?"

"That wasn't right, Iris."

"It's what I had to do, Mom. His entire life are books and plans and careers. I couldn't take that from him, and now you're making me do that."

"You'd rather he see you every day, growing a child he might not know is his? Could you really do that? Never tell him?"

She weakly sighed and shook her head. "No."

She reached over and clasped her hand. "I'll be here with you."

"I know." She smiled. "I love you too, Mom."

She kissed her forehead. "I know, baby." She hoped Daryl took this as well. His possible reaction was making her stomach churn. God, let him take it well.

– – –

" _Dinner_?" Daryl tossed a load of clothes into the washer. " _Uh, tonight?_ "

"Yeah, it's kind of important." Iris was biting her bottom lip.

" _I can try to make it, but Merle kinda made plans for me already. Is it all right if I'm a little late? Like by half an hour or an hour at the latest?_ "

"It's...fine. Don't worry about it."

He frowned. " _I'll try to come, Iris._ "

"Isn't that what they all say before they don't come?"

" _Who's "they"?_ "

"Nobody," she muttered.

" _Iris, I'm not gonna do that to you. I'll be there. I'll just be a little late. I'll bring somethin' for you, as an apology, okay?_ "

"Sure."

" _Don't "sure" me like that. I don't like that tone._ "

"I don't like having that tone, but nobody ever makes it when they already have plans. Just Mom, and I don't expect you to cancel on your brother, so don't worry about it. We'll talk when we see each other next."

" _Iris_."

"Goodbye." She hung up and tossed her phone onto her bed. She crouched down and ran her hands through her hair, exhaling deeply, eyes shut. She didn't want to be disappointed by him. He was real. He was her actual, blood father, and she couldn't handle being disappointed by him. If he had an out then it wasn't letting her down. She'd given him permission to not come, so it would be all right if he didn't show. Softly groaning, she straightened at the sound of her mom coming down the hall.

"All right, honey. I have to head into the office, but Amy will be over in a few minutes."

"Yeah."

"Are you all right?"

"Uh-huh, just a little tired."

"Take a nap then." She adjusted her earring. "Did you call Daryl?"

"Not yet. I'll wait until it's a little later. He's probably still in bed. I mean, it's barely ten."

"He could be at work too. If you want, I can stop by the shelter on my way to work."

"Nah, don't worry about it. I'll let him know about dinner."

"Okay. I'll see you tonight."

She smiled. "Bye."

"I'm sorry I couldn't take today off. I just...want to be there when you met Ruth, and if I stay today, I can't go on Wednesday."

"I understand, Mom. I won't be alone. I'll have Aunt Amy, and it'll be great."

"Call me if you need anything."

"I will. Now, you're running late, so go."

She kissed her forehead and left, and Iris exhaled, dropping onto her bed and curling up, dialing the number to Sophia's cell phone. She waited as it rang, but she never picked up. She tried once more, but it went right to voicemail. On the verge of tears and needing to talk to somebody who wasn't on their way, she pushed herself up and dug into her closet. She knew there was one person she could talk to, and since it was a condition, she'd have to talk to him anyway. She wanted to.

But he was in school right now, so she needed to talk without actually talking. She knew how to get her message across. She grabbed the poster board they had used for their anatomy project and a black marker. She cut it up into pieces and wrote on the four pieces. She set them against her bed in order and took a picture of her reflection with each piece then sent it to Patrick's phone. She sat on her bed and wet her lips, looking over the fourth card, setting her finger on the black ink. She hoped he got the message. As smart as he was, he had to.

She turned her head as her aunt came in the front door calling to her, and she pushed the cards under her bed. She dried her eyes and left her phone on her bed, heading downstairs. She greeted her with a smile, and Amy hugged her. She hoped Patrick got the message.

– – –

Andrea had picked up the groceries for dinner tonight, and she decided to stop by Daryl's to make sure he was coming. And if he was ready, she'd give him a ride. She didn't mind. She'd have to take him home, but that was fine. He just had to be there tonight. Iris needed his support as much as she needed Andrea's. If Daryl didn't give it, she didn't know what would happen to them.

She climbed the stairs and knocked on his door, hands on her hips as she waited for him to answer. "Daryl?"

The door opened, although it wasn't Daryl. It was Merle.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Daryl. I need to speak to him."

"He's not home."

"He's not?"

"No. You just missed him. He left five minutes ago."

"Do you know where he was going? Where I could find him?"

"At your house. He went to have dinner with you and Iris."

"Oh. That's good. Thank you. Have a nice night." She returned to her car and drove home. She found Daryl's truck in the driveway and smiled, glad he made it, glad Iris had actually called. She collected the bags from the trunk and entered the house, finding Daryl and Amy talking. She didn't see Iris.

"Let me give you a hand." Amy joined her in the kitchen and took some bags from Andrea.

"Where's Iris?" Andrea set the remaining bags on the counter.

"In her room. She's been resting for most of the day." She spoke softly, not wanting Daryl to overhear. "She got sick, but she's fine."

"Could you put these away? I should check on her."

"Of course."

"Thanks." She gave a smile to Daryl then hurried to her daughter's room. She saw Iris under her blankets and assumed she was in sweatpants and tank top. She sat beside her and set a hand on her forehead, waking her. "Sorry."

"You're home." She scooted onto her back, nestled in her blankets. "Was I asleep that long?"

"I guess so." She removed her hand. "You don't have a fever. Amy told me you got sick. Are you all right?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "Just morning sickness, I guess."

"I have a trick for that. My great grandmother's recipe. Get dressed. Daryl and Amy are downstairs."

"Amy's staying for dinner too?"

"No. She has a date tonight."

"Okay." She rubbed her eye. "I'll be down in a few minutes."

"Hurry up."

She yawned and slipped out of bed, throwing on her outfit from this morning. She joined them at the same time Amy was leaving, and she said goodbye.

"You feelin' all right?" Daryl looked over his daughter's face.

"Yeah, just still sleepy." She smiled for his sake. "I'm gonna help Mom with dinner."

"You don't have to," Andrea remarked. "I've got it."

"You sure? I can lend you a hand. I have two."

"No, I'm fine." She moved toward the kitchen. "Help yourself to anything, Daryl."

He nodded.

Iris looked at her dad. "I have to use the restroom." She scurried up the stairs to her bedroom and grabbed her phone, calling Sophia and pacing. "Pick up. Pick up. Pick up the phone."

Voicemail again.

"Damn it!" What's the point of having a phone if you never answer it? She dialed her number again and noticed her bedroom light was on now. She lifted her eyes to find Daryl in the doorway, and she gulped.

"Sorry to interrupt. Andrea said you had the salt up here."

"It's on my nightstand." She picked it up. "I—um, sprinkled it over tomatoes. Amy and I had some earlier." She held it out to him.

He took it and ran his eyes over the room, spotting the lion he had given Carol years ago resting on a pile of books. "You have that?"

"Bongo?" She pointed to the lion. "Since I was eleven, I think. Carol gave it to me." She used it to cheat at cards that day in the hospital. Nobody knew, just her and good ol' Bongo.

"Bongo." He smirked a little. "You hated that thing as a baby."

"What? That— _You_ left her the lion?" He nodded. "It was one of my baby toys?"

"Yeah. You used to throw a fit whenever I put it with you. That's why it's in such good shape. Or was." He noted the faded color and worn cloth.

"What? I...loved it a lot." She blushed a little. "You should see my stuffed panda. She's a mess."

"I'm sure. You were rough on toys."

"Still am." She slipped her phone into her back pocket, unaware of the missed phone call. "I need to talk to you, Daryl. It's really important."

"Lemme just run this down to Andrea."

"She doesn't need it. She just sent you up here to talk to me." She laced her fingers together. "You should have a seat."

"I can stand." He stepped closer to her.

She exhaled and couldn't meet his eyes. "I—have something to tell you. It's um, pretty huge news too."

"What is it? Are you all right?"

"Yes. Yes, I am." She cleared her throat. "God, I'm just gonna say it." She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Her face grew hot, and she turned away, softly groaning. Just say it. It's not like it'll sound better in twenty minutes!

"You're freakin' me out. Is Andrea all right? Your grandparents?"

"They're fine." She folded her arms. "They're all fine. It's me. I— _I_ have news. News about me."

"And that news is?"

She faced him, her knees shaking, and she could feel the tears in the back of her eyes. She knotted her fingers together, her mouth dry, and she met his eyes. "I'm pregnant."

The salt didn't fall to the floor like she thought it would. However he stood there with wide eyes, raised brows and his entire body stiff, like when Mom found the pregnancy test. His mouth was open slightly, and he was silent. He didn't even blink for about two minutes, and the ticking of her watches filled the space between them. It was like being a school during a timed test, and she had written down the wrong answer. She felt her heart sinking at every tick, and she wanted to leave the room, but he was blocking the exit. She didn't want to walk by him and risk bumping him back into blinking and talking, because she wasn't sure she wanted to know what he had to say. This wasn't the reaction she had hoped for, not even one she'd thought of.

She knew he saw her as the little girl that only he remembered, and she didn't want to shatter that image, because it might be all he had left of who she was. She didn't want to hurt anybody, least of all him and Patrick. She had put her mom through so much already, but they always worked it out. They were mother and daughter, and all they had were each other, but Patrick and Daryl could leave at any time. If she hurt them enough, they could step out of her life forever. Like Penny did. His words at Sophia's birthday party were kind and real, but words could be forgotten. So easy could they get forgotten and twisted around.

After five minutes had passed, Iris dryly muttered, "You didn't sign on for all of this, so I'll understand if you want to leave. It's okay. I've made it this far without a dad. Mom and I always handle ourselves, so don't worry. I'm in good hands."

"No," he finally managed.

"No?" she repeated. "No what, Daryl?"

"I'm not just gonna leave." He locked eyes with her, no longer stiff, but still very surprised. "I'm a little stunned, but I'm not leavin' you. I—I just got you back, and so what if you're pregnant? I'm still gonna be here. I'm always gonna be there for you. You're my daughter, and you... You mean everythin' to me."

She didn't say anything, just held herself tighter.

"Patrick? Is that his name?" She nodded. "He's the father, isn't he?"

"Yeah," she whispered.

"Seemed like a good kid." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, does he know?"

"Not yet."

"Will he want to be involved?"

"Yes."

"Well, I guess I better get to know the kid. He's the father of my grandchild, so...I should be on good terms with him." He sat on her bed. "That oughta be nice—and awkward as hell."

She laughed, but it was choked.

He looked at her and rose when she started crying. "What? I was only jokin'."

She shook her head. "No, I know. I just...don't know what to say."

"Say about what?"

"You." She shrugged her shoulders. "How can you want to be in my life? I don't understand. You barely know me, and yet...you're ready to stand by me through this. And take time to get to know my—baby's father. I don't get it."

"What's to get? You're my daughter. You never question Andrea."

"She's my mom. She's always been there."

"I'm your dad. I'm _always_ gonna be there."

"I know! I'm just not used to that. You make it sound so easy, but I'm scared that one day I'm going to need you, and you won't be there." She couldn't look directly at him. "I know you're not Phillip, and that's what scares me. He was never there, and it didn't bother me, because he wasn't my real dad. He had no real reason to care, but you? You're real. You're my actual dad, and if you let me down then—" She couldn't speak, her voice too high and the tears were choking her.

He embraced his daughter, and she buried her hands in her hands, her arms pressed to his chest, and she sobbed so hard she was shaking. He knew this—their lives—had to work out the way it did, but he really wished they weren't so far apart. She trusted everything with Andrea, and she trusted that Andrea would be by her side for the rest of her life. Yet when it came to him, she questioned and feared even after he told he wasn't going anywhere. He knew this would take time, and he needed to show her he would be there. And of course he would.

He remembered what Carol said, about how Iris needed time to adjust to all of this, and how he would need to be there at any given moment. She was right. And with this, he would need to be here for Iris, for his grandchild and Andrea. He was beginning to understand what Carol was saying now. He needed to talk to her. When she got back, like she said. They had a lot to talk about too.


	17. This Is A New Start

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

"Damn it." Carol tossed her phone onto the couch, and Karen looked at her with raised brows. "I—I need to head back tonight. One of my girls...Stella, she... She needs me."

"You don't have to explain." She set her glass down. "I'll help you pack up."

"Thank you. I—I should call Ty and tell him to bring Sophia back soon. I'm sorry."

Karen paused. "Or I could keep her overnight. I mean, you guys were heading back tomorrow anyway, so I could drive her back. We've hardly spent any time together. It'll give us an entire day tomorrow and the drive back. I could use some time with my niece before she's all grown up and living her own life."

"Are you sure? You won't be busy?"

"I'm never too busy for family, and I have a few people I'd like to check on back home." She smiled. "You trust us, don't you?"

"With my life." She smiled back. "Okay. Let's get me packed up. I'll stop by the movies to say goodbye to Sophia. The movie oughta be over by the time we're done."

"We could all go out to dinner," Karen offered. "A goodbye with dessert."

"All right. That sounds even better. I can just head straight to the hospital then."

Karen hugged her tightly.

"What's wrong?" Carol frowned.

"Nothing's wrong." She laughed softly. "I'm just glad you're here. Those women are lucky to have you."

She smiled. "Thank you, Karen."

She released her. "Let's go get you packed. I can open a bottle of wine."

"I'm driving after this."

"Then coffee."

"That sounds good."

––

Andrea and Daryl cleaned up the kitchen silently since Iris slept on the couch. They had talked for hours, laughing and genuinely getting along. It was the happiest Andrea had seen Iris in too long. She had fallen asleep while Andrea and Daryl spoke on some of her middle school pictures. They didn't want to disturb her with the hassle of dishes, and Daryl was there to lend her a hand.

"Here." Andrea handed him a glass of wine. "Might as well finish the bottle."

"Thanks."

She leaned against the counter and looked at their daughter on the couch. "So, how are you handling this?"

He shrugged. "Still...processin' it. You?"

"I'm calculating the bills." She took a long drink from her glass. "I don't know how we are going to pull this off."

"I can help," he suggested. "It's m—our grandkid. I'll help you out with whatever you need."

"I was hoping you'd say that. I can do almost all of it. I just...help with some things." She set her glass down. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Which do you mean? The baby or what you'll need help with?"

"Both, honestly. We'll need to plan this for her. She has enough to worry about, and we'll involve her, of course, but let's try and lay out a path first. If you want."

"Sounds good."

"I should put her to bed. We can talk in the living room. Or my bedroom. I think I have the list I made in there. Hell if I know where it landed." She shook her head. She was in such a rush this morning, and the list was either in her bathroom or in her sock drawer. She wasn't at all sure. She needed to keep a notepad by her bed at all times. Or buy more pants with pockets. That would help too.

"I'll do it." He dried his hands. "I can carry her."

"I used to be able to." She sighed softly. "I'll get her bedroom door for you."

He set the dishtowel down on the counter on his way to the living room, Andrea headed upstairs, and he gently picked Iris up off the couch. She let out a sleepy moan, but she didn't wake up. He carried her to her bedroom, Andrea had pulled the covers back from her bed, and he placed her on the mattress. Andrea covered her up and carefully rose off the bed, heading down the hall to her bedroom to look for that slip of paper, scratching her brow.

Daryl turned off the bedside lamp and quietly pulled the door closed on his way out. He saw the light in Andrea's room on and checked to see if she was still in there, and she was. He had a seat in the chair by the door and rubbed his palms together, exhaling deeply.

"Found it." She closed the close door. "I'm going to grab the wine glasses so we can discuss this list." She paused at seeing the time from the clock above his head. "It's pretty late. Maybe we can talk about this tomorrow."

He looked up, following her gaze. It was getting late. They had to meet Ruth tomorrow, so they'd be up pretty early. The sooner they got there, the sooner the hag ruined their day and they left to try and rid themselves of the memory. Although he wasn't really tired.

"If you want, you can spend the night," Andrea suggested, sitting on her bed, folding the piece of paper. "We'll be heading to Ruth's in the morning anyway, and I can lend you a shirt that Shane's left here to sleep in. It'll save us time if someone else is here to make the coffee and bagels while I help Iris by holding her hair." If she didn't make the recipe correctly, that is.

"You want me to stay over?"

"In the guest bedroom, or if you prefer the couch, go right ahead." She met his eyes. "I want to talk to you. I need to. And if you stay the night, you'll get more sleep, and you'll save gas, and I can ask you a million questions about the woman who is the grandmother of my—our child. If you don't mind. I figure drinking ought to make talking about her easier. You seem...to hate her."

"I do—and you're right. Drinking will help. I'll get the glasses."

"I'll lock up the house." She smiled. "By the way, do you have any experience with baby proofing?"

He chuckled. "Yeah."

"What's with that smile?"

"Just Merle." He began to rehash the story of him baby proofing for Ella.

– – –

"Home sweet home." Carol dug her keys out of her purse and stumbled in the soft light of morning toward the door. She rubbed her eye and started to unlock the door when it opened, and she blinked, meeting the face of Axel. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard about Stella. I figured you'd come back, and I left my wallet here. Besides, Honey needed some water and food."

She entered. "Do you know how she is?" She set her purse on the counter and prepared a pot of coffee. "Stella, I mean."

"No, Maggie went to see her. I—I don't see what my being there will do to help her."

"Is she awake?"

He nodded. "I sent her some flowers though, with Maggie. Gives her something nice to look at."

"That was kind of you."

He stepped toward her. "You don't have to go see her right now. She's with Maggie, and Rick is there too. He's keeping an eye on her, making sure she feels safe. Now you look exhausted, and you should rest."

She shook her head. "I told her—"

"Don't," he interrupted her. "It wasn't your fault."

"Wasn't it?" She met his eyes. "Because she wouldn't be in this situation if it weren't for me, Axel. She wouldn't—"

"She's alive because of you," he corrected. "And her husband is in jail. He'll never be allowed near her or his kids, and she'll be fine. She had the strength to something good, because of you. It didn't go as planned, but everyone is fine or will be fine. He got his. You can't blame yourself." He set his hands on her shoulders. "Get some sleep, Carol. And if you want, I'll go to the hospital with you. It'll be okay."

She hugged him, burying her face in the rough material of his shirt, and she exhaled. She closed her eyes and nodded. "Okay, but I'll see her alone. Thank you for offer, though."

"Yeah." He let her go. "I'm gonna go home. Unless you want me to stay."

"I'm fine. I have Honey...somewhere."

"She's in your bed."

"Oh. Good. I'm to exhausted to hunt her down." She smiled. "Thank you for watching her."

"You're welcome. I hope you sleep all right." He smiled back. "Give Stella my best."

"I will." She locked up after he left and pushed her exhausted self to her bedroom, seeing Honey coiled up on her side of the bed. She didn't even care. She just lied down and crashed.

– – –

Andrea shuffled into the kitchen where Daryl was making coffee, and she didn't even care that she looked like road kill. She felt like it. They had talked until four in the morning, and they woke up when Iris walked into Andrea's bedroom and found them completely knocked out. They had slept through all of their alarms, and it was good thing Grandma's recipe worked or Iris would have heaved all over Andrea's bed this morning.

"Coffee." She willed it to brew faster.

"I need to go home and change." Daryl gestured to his wrinkled clothes.

"Shane left pants here too if you're the same size." She rested her head on the counter, wondering if she could sleep like this.

"I'll check."

Iris entered the kitchen, dressed and ready. "Wow, you two are dead."

"Only a little." Andrea pushed herself up. "I'm glad you slept well. You look good."

"I feel good. That recipe worked. Grandma should plan my pregnancy meals for me."

"She just might, but if you think I'm bad, she's much worse."

Iris made a face. "I'm going to call Sophia. She might be home or on her way home by now. Could you guys hurry up? We do have to make dinner and tell Patrick tonight. It's already going on ten."

"Daryl, would you duct tape our daughter's mouth shut?"

He snorted. "Where's the tape?"

"I'm going to take a shower." She rubbed her eye. "You can help yourself to the guest bathroom, and I'll leave the clothes out on my bed." She dragged herself up the stairs and to her bedroom.

Daryl made his way to the guest bathroom, which was also Iris's bathroom, to wash his face, and he was greeted with a million types of soaps and lotions and glittery liquid soap. He checked the cabinet and found regular soap and scrubbed his face, trying to wash away the weariness that was seeping into his bones.

"Here." Iris handed him a towel when he groped the counter for one.

"Thanks." He dried his face.

"I brought you Shane's clothes."

"Did you get a hold of Sophia?" He sat on the edge of the bathroom, drying the hairs he'd gotten wet.

"Nope, but Carol's home. I accidentally woke her up too. I feel bad. She sounded exhausted."

"Carol's back?" He lowered the towel. "Alone?"

"Yep. Sophia's coming back tonight, or tomorrow. I dunno. I couldn't quite make it out." She folded her arms. "So, you and my mom?"

"Nothin' happened."

"You looked pretty cozy."

"Iris. Stop."

"I'm kidding." She smirked. "I like you with Carol and Mom with Shane. And you _did_ look cozy. Her bed's so damn comfortable." She was always trying to find a way to trade beds when her Mom was at work. It would never work though. Her bed was crap.

"It is."

"You're not...hungover, are you?"

"No. Takes more than wine to do that."

"Good." She picked up a bottle of lotion. "I'll see you downstairs."

He nodded and watched her leave, spotting the clothes she'd left him. He exhaled and stood up, looking at his reflection. He needed to talk to Carol. He hoped she was home alone. He had words he didn't want Sophia to hear.

At ten-fifty-five they were all ready to leave, and while they could car pool, Daryl planned to go meet Carol immediately after this, and he needed to be alone right now. He had a lot on his mind, and being packed into Andrea's car wasn't going to help him clear this thoughts. So they drove separately, stopping only once for snacks then they continued on. It was a quick drive if you weren't so busy trying to figure out how your child lived and didn't miss the turn off.

When they arrived, Andrea and Daryl stood outside the driver's side of their cars, giving Iris the space she had asked for. She wanted to go this alone, and she knew they were there so it really helped. She gripped her elbow and waited outside her biological grandmother's house, looking back at her parents who gave a nod and a smile to encourage her. She reached over and tentatively knocked, and a moment later the door opened to an old woman who smelled like alcohol and looked like she needed a decent meal.

"Oh my, God." She gasped at the sight of the teenager standing before her. "You look just like your mother."

Iris just smiled a little, not sure if that was a compliment or not. People always say she looked like Andrea. How that was possible, she didn't know. "You must be Ruth." She glanced inside the house briefly. "I'm Iris H—just Iris." She wasn't comfortable giving this woman her last night. It might be insulting to her.

Ruth smiled a little and showed her inside, leaving Andrea and Daryl outside without even acknowledging them. Daryl moved to sit on the hood of his truck, not knowing how long they'd be, and he began to pick at a hole in the bottom of his jeans. He had only taken Shane's shirt, feeling weird about wearing some random dude's pants. Andrea just shifted her weight and checked her watch then giving the house a good look before turning her nose. It made Daryl snort, and she glanced at him as he smirked a little.

Inside Iris continued to hold her elbow. It was a habit, a way to protect herself, and what she was carrying inside of herself. She looked around the house that her birth mother had grown up in and cringed when Ruth wasn't looking. It was small, the furnishings very poor—not that it mattered at all—and it smelled. She wasn't sure what the smell was, but one look at the kitchen and she would guess a thousand year old dishes. She really hoped the house look better when her birth mom was alive. Or at least felt like a home. It just felt empty and cold now.

"Do you want something to drink?" she offered.

"No. Uh, my mom bought me a root beer." She wasn't sure why she'd added that. Maybe to separate them. Strange. Why did she do that?

"She's not our mom," Ruth immediately replied.

"Not biologically," Iris shot back, "but in every other meaning of the word, she is my mother." She didn't like the look Ruth gave her for that, so she changed the subject. "About my birth mother."

"Yes?"

"Could I see her room? If it's still in her room, I mean."

"It's right down the hall. I'll show you."

"Could I go alone? I just...wanna see it by myself, just for a sec. Please."

"Of course."

She found her way to her mom's room, finding a worn wooden C and running her finger over the three metal studs that were once silver but most of that color had chipped away. She licked her lips and inhaled, rubbing her palms together. She was about to see her mom's room. She had been thinking about it, dreaming about it, a lot these past few days. She wanted to know her birth mom in some way, no matter how small it was. She'd see her room then hear any stories Ruth had to offer.

Opening the door and entering, Iris was surprised to see the room in such decent condition. The rest of the house had fallen to the pits, but this room was nice. There was no dust in any corners, it smelled of fresh flowers and detergent, and it was warm. Life existed in this room. It was really something.

She instantly spotted the snow globes on the dresser and looked them over, noticing that they had been written on. She lifted one up and noticed a name in black marker, but it wasn't the name of the state. It was a boy's name. She tried another and found a girl's name and after two more flips, she found her birth name: _Ella_. This was written in silver with flowers around it, and this one was just of a unicorn. It was heart-shaped and beautiful. She wanted to keep it, but she doubted Ruth would let her.

She gently put it back and turned to the bed and the wall of pictures beside it. They were all framed and all of different people who were in her life—or so Iris assumed. She saw one of Daryl and Merle, on the back of a truck, laughing and having a drink. She noticed it was less taken care of than the others, and near the end where it wouldn't be noticed. She took it and slipped it into her purse. Ruth obviously wouldn't miss this. She seemed to have hate for Daryl, and while Iris didn't know why Ruth felt that way about him, she didn't want Ruth to have this picture. It was...a good shot, and it didn't deserve to be stuck gathering dust.

She lifted her eyes and saw one of a pretty brunette laughing. She had a delicate face with bright eyes and full lips that seemed to give her a baby face. She wore her hair in curls and had just a brush of makeup on, and there was another woman in the photo who Iris barely glanced at. She couldn't take her eyes off of the brunette.

"That's her," Ruth whispered, and Iris flinched, though Ruth didn't notice. "That's my Celia with her friend Rosita."

"She's very beautiful."

"She was." She held a pink photo album in her arms. "She could have been very happy if she had never met Rosita. She led her down a dark path, and even I couldn't help her."

"Dark path?"

"Drugs." She took a seat on the bed. "Drinking. Partying."

Iris glanced at the picture, face scrunched. The whole reason Iris was born was because of drugs and alcohol. There was no way Ruth didn't know that. If not for Rosita, Iris wouldn't be here. Maybe Iris should have met Rosita instead.

"Sit."

She sat where Ruth had patted and her eyes fell down to the pink album. "Was that hers?"

"Yes. She kept it while she was pregnant with you." She peered at Iris. "She wanted to give this to you when you turned sixteen, but she never made it. She was going to give it to Daryl, but the day she went out, she forgot it."

"Oh?"

"I've never looked at it." She set it on her granddaughter's lap. "Happy belated birthday, darling."

Iris looked over the album and set her hand on the soft bow. Well, her birthday hadn't come yet. Unless she was referring to her sixteenth birthday from last year? "Thank you, Ruth. I..appreciate this." She smiled and hugged it to her chest. "Is there anything you can tell me about her? Her favorite food? What perfume she used? Why she decided to leave me with my dad?"

Ruth pursed her lips then met her eyes. "Daryl demanded he raise you. He...took you from the hospital before Celia could even see you."

"What?"

She nodded. "She never got to see you, and that was her biggest regret."

She averted her eyes. "I wish I could have met her."

"Me too. She loved you so much." She reached over and tucked hair behind her granddaughter's ear; Iris stood up and stepped toward the snow globes. "You like those?"

"Yeah."

"You can have one of them. I don't mind. Celia would want that."

"Oh, thank you so much." She smiled and took the heart-shaped unicorn snow globe.

Ruth's mouth drew a line. "Rosita bought that for her."

"Oh, it's lovely." She didn't care about the expression Ruth wore. "Can you tell me more about her? Celia, I mean." She set the snow globe in her purse gently and faced Ruth.

Having no real stories to draw off of, Ruth began to make up tales about Celia as a girl. Celia and Ruth had no precious memories together, as Ruth and Celia clashed at every turn. Ruth knew what was best for her daughter, and she would make sure her granddaughter did her best. She would guide her just as she guided Celia, only better. She would make sure this child did as she told her to.

––

Outside, with the sun beating down on them, Daryl and Andrea sat on and in their cars. Andrea drank from the water she had purchased at the gas station and Daryl kept an eye on the house, not bothered by the heat.

"Did you ever come here?" Andrea unbuttoned her blouse and adjusted the strap to her tank top. "With Iris, for holidays or just to visit?"

He snorted. "Ruth ain't the kinda woman you just visit. Or even spend holidays with."

"She seemed nice enough on the phone." Andrea had called before they to let her know they might be late.

"Seemed bein' the key word." He looked at her. "Bitch is manipulative. She always tryin' to make Celia be someone she wasn't. She's the reason why Celia started usin' drugs, goin' to parties. She wanted an escape from Ruth."

"Why didn't she just leave?"

"She didn't have anywhere to go." He sighed. "And I...didn't want her near my daughter."

Andrea dropped her eyes. "So without Ruth, you and Celia would've never met."

"Yep."

She climbed out of her car. "Hey, Daryl?"

"Mmm?" He squinted at her.

"Why...were you so calm with me? After the first talk, why were you so...understanding?" She crossed her arms. "I've never understood that. You should hate me. I—I basically ruined your life."

"Yeah, I should hate you. I should try and get sole custody of my kid. I should keep her from you. I should give you the cold shoulder." He shrugged. "Should never did nothin' for me."

"Why?"

"'Cause look at her." He nodded his chin toward the house. "She's healthy, happy, intelligent, in honor classes. She has friends and a boyfriend and soon a car. Normal teenage things. She...has a lot of things to work through, 'course we'll help her through that, but overall...you raised her well. You raised her the way I wanted to, the way Celia wanted to. You didn't abuse her. You didn't neglect her. You raised her right and put her above yourself."

She shifted her weight and swallowed hard at his words, unable to speak.

"How the hell could I be mad at that?" He slid off the hood. "When I first found out she was alive and out here somewhere...I was scared. For her. I didn't know who adopted her. I didn't know if they were good or bad, but I was scared shitless that they might have abused her, might have...hurt her in some way. I was prepared to stomp some asshole into the ground and then...Carol took me your house where you told me the truth. And I stopped bein' scared."

"...thank you."

"And even if I did get mad and had it out with you...it'd only hurt her. I would never, ever hurt her."

"Would you take me to court?" Andrea whispered. "I asked before at the diner, but I—"

"No."

"Why not?"

"'Cause it'd hurt her. You are her mom, and I can't change that. I can only...be there for her, earn my position back as her dad."

"I am so sorry." She looked at him with moist eyes. "You shouldn't have to do that. You're her father. You two share blood, and I—"

"Took in a lost little girl and raised her with love, gave her good memories, a good home, grandparents, an aunt and a hell of a lot of other things. Don't be sorry. Be anything but sorry. Sorry says regret. Do you regret adopting her? Loving her?"

"No. No, not for a second."

"You'd better not." A small smile, and Andrea returned it. "We ain't always gonna see eye-to-eye, but we're her parents so...we gotta at least find a place to start."

"Agreed." She wiped at the corners of her eyes.

"So, startin' today, we're in this together."

"I think it started long before today," she corrected. "So, how long do you think they'll be? It's been...almost an hour. I think that's a good sign."

"Yeah, I don't. Here they come."

Ruth and Iris exited the house, they both turned to them, though Iris didn't give them a fond look, and Iris adjusted the album in her arms as she faced Ruth, having one final thing to say to her. She looked her over then smiled and hugged her with one arm.

"It was good to finally meet you."

"Same to you." Ruth rubbed her back. "Please, don't be a stranger."

"That's sweet, but...I know it's best that I do." She stepped back. "I don't want to know someone who curls their nose at my mother and spews hate at my father. I never knew Celia, but I know that she would be happy with how Andrea raised me. Anything bad that happened were either my mistakes or someone's...insanity, so don't you dare judge her. As for Daryl..." She glanced at him. "I don't know him very well, but he is a good man. He has been so important to my best friend, and I love him for that, so I know I will love him for him one day, and I don't need you trying to poison my mind against him."

Ruth just stared.

"I hope you find peace, but don't ever try to contact me or my family. Goodbye, Ruth."

Daryl waited. Like a switch, Ruth would flip into an utter bitch.

"You were just a mistake," Ruth called after her.

Andrea and Daryl met Iris at the bottom of the stairs, Andrea put her arms around her daughter as Ruth spat vile words at them, and Daryl turned to Ruth, who instantly quieted at the look in his eyes.

"One day you'll realize you pushed your entire family away. It wasn't me or Rosita—just you."

"At least my daughter wasn't a slut who got pregnant at sixteen," Ruth shot back.

Iris turned to her, her eyes glossy, and she opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Ruth cupped a hand to hear to mock Iris, and Andrea held her closer. Daryl saw the look in his daughter's eyes, and he set a hand on her shoulder to gently push her and Andrea toward their car. "I'll be right behind you. Just get her out of here."

"Don't do anything stupid," Andrea whispered.

"Can't promise anythin'."

"Just...let me know if you need a good lawyer." She guided Iris to the car, and Iris pulled away. "Iris."

She hugged Daryl briefly and gave him a small smile then glanced at Ruth before getting into the car with her mother.

Daryl waited until they were down the driveway before he turned to Ruth. "Don't you dare talk about my daughter like that, Ruth. At least she knows who the hell the father of her kid is, unlike you. And good job on pushing away the last living piece of Celia you had." He got into his truck and followed in Andrea's tracks, glad to be out of there. He needed to check on Iris before he went to see Carol, but that was fine. He was proud of her. She was definitely Celia's daughter. Celia must be laughing her ass off in Heaven right now. He didn't believe in that kind of thing, but still, she's laughing somewhere.

– – –

"Are you all right?" Andrea glanced at Iris on the way back to town.

"Yeah." She lifted her head, holding the album her birth mom had left her. "Yeah."

"I'm sorry it had to end like that. I didn't think she'd be like that cruel."

"It's fine. I knew when she started telling me about Celia she was lying, and she kept making faces at your name and Daryl's. I knew she wasn't a kind person, and I bet Celia would be happy that I told her off."

"She would be." Her eyes fell to the pink album her daughter was hugging. "What's that?"

"A gift from my birth mom." She set it flat in her lap. "I don't know what's in it. I'll open it later." She looked at her mom. "Do you think Daryl will open it with me?"

"He'd love to." Andrea smiled at her.

Iris returned it. "I hope so."

The drive home was remotely silent, Daryl met them inside, and Iris thanked him for what he said to Ruth, even though she didn't know, and he wasn't going to tell. Andrea was preparing lunch, and Iris was about to call Patrick to invite him over for dinner, and Daryl was just about to leave to meet Carol. He wanted to make sure Iris was really okay.

She set the snow globe on her nightstand. "How's that?"

"Good, I guess."

"I got something else." She reached into her bag and showed him the picture.

"I remember this. Damn, feels like a lifetime ago."

"Do you want to keep it?"

"Nah, it's your score. You keep it."

"Thanks." She set it on the bed. "I'll need to find the hammer and a nail later."

"Are you okay? After meetin' Ruth and what she said, what she must've told you."

"I'm okay." She met his eyes. "I see now why you were so reluctant for us to meet, but I'm glad to have that sorted."

"Me too." He ran a hand through his hair.

"How old was my mom when I was born?" she asked, arms crossed. "I'm guessing she wasn't so much older than me, but how old exactly?"

"She was at pregnant twenty, and she'd just turned twenty-one a month before she had you."

"And how old were you?"

"Twenty-four."

"And you were both into drugs and drinking and all that?"

He chuckled. "Not like you think."

"You stopped once I was born, didn't you?"

He nodded. "I got clean after Celia told me she was pregnant."

She nodded. "That must have been really hard. I mean, you only had nine months."

"It was the right thing to do."

"You're not mad at me, right?" she whispered. "For getting pregnant? I know Mom's disappointed and stressed out, so it's really okay if you're mad at me. I would be. You gave up so much, and...I'm just—"

"Don't say that. Yeah, I gave up a lot of shit that was bad for me, but it was worth it. I'm really not mad at you or Patrick. Unless he turns into an asshole then I'll be mad."

She laughed a little. "He won't."

"Better not." He met her eyes. "Stop thinkin' I'm mad or disappointed or want out, okay? My brother put me through a lot of shit when we were young, and he's still one of the most important people to me."

"I'll...get better at this." She bit her bottom lip. "I have to call Patrick and invite him over for dinner. Are you staying?"

"No, I gotta meet somebody."

"Okay." She paused. "Could you come by later?"

"I'll try."

She nodded. "I'll walk you out."

They padded down the stairs to the front door, Andrea was on the phone with Shane, so Iris showed him out and gave him a goodbye hug. He headed home to change out of these clothes, and Iris called Patrick.

" _Iris?_ "

"Hey." She smiled at the sound of her name on his lips.

" _Where have you been? I've been calling you since yesterday. I got your message. Are you all right?_ "

"Yeah, I'm okay."

" _Well thank God. I've been stressed out. Why didn't you call me back?_ "

"I—I must have turned the ringer on silence. I'm sorry."

" _As long as you're fine, it's okay._ "

"How are you?"

" _Studying_."

"As always."

He chuckled. " _I think we've this conversation before_ _. Is there something you want? Because you practically just walked away from me and told me it was too raw._ "

"I know I did, but I have to tell you something. It's important. Could you come by for dinner?"

" _I already have dinner plans with my aunt and her boyfriend, but I can swing by on my way._ "

"This isn't swing by news, Patrick."

" _Is everything all right?_ "

"Yeah, it is. We just need to talk."

" _Iris, I don't think—_ "

Andrea took the phone from Iris. "Hello, Patrick. It's Andrea. I'd like you to come by for dinner at seven. I'm sure Anna will be okay with it. You can even bring her."

"Mom!" Heat burned across her face. "Oh, my God!"

"Shush." She walked to the other end of the kitchen. "Uh-huh. All right. I'll see you then. Bye."

"Mother."

"Daughter." She held out the cell phone. "He'll be here."

"You are so embarrassing! And rude!"

"And I got him here."

Her eye twitched, and she changed the subject. "I'm going to make myself lunch. Do you know where the toolbox is?"

"In the hall closet. Why?"

"I want to hang up some pictures." She set her phone on the table. "Thanks for getting him here, but don't do that again."

"You've done it to me."

"I was seven, and it was Grandma!"

"Same thing."

"Fine, I'm sorry I was excited to speak to my grandmother and thank her for my Christmas gifts."

"You're forgiven. And speaking of, you should call them soon."

"Sure you don't wanna just yank the phone away from me?"

"I won't, and I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure he got here." She nodded her head toward the fridge. "Let's feed my grandchild. Did you take your vitamins this morning?"

"Yes. Daryl reminded me."

"So, chicken or turkey?"

"Pizza."

"Chicken it is."

– – –

Carol found Stella's hospital room with some difficulty. She was lucky to have ran into Rick Grimes, who was keeping an eye out for Stella's asshole ex's cousin who also liked to beat the snot out of her from time to time. With her husband locked up, he might come lurking. He might want revenge. Rick was staying to put her mind at ease so she could finally sleep. Carol was grateful for men like Rick. And Daryl.

"She'll be happy to see you." Rick smiled at Carol.

"I hope."

"You hope? Hey, hey, you didn't cause this." He met her eyes. "Stella told me what you said to her—what you've been saying to her—and this wasn't on you. She's actually glad it happened this way."

"How can she be? When Maggie called me yesterday..." she trailed off, swallowing.

"Why don't you go and see her?" He gestured to her room. "You'll feel better, and you can hear from her how she feels, stop beatin' yourself up."

"I'm not beating myself up."

"Then you always look so tortured?" He smirked.

She chuckled a little at his smirk. "Fine. I'll go talk to her. Thank you, for helping me find her room."

"You're welcome."

Inhaling deeply, Carol pushed herself forward into Stella's room. She first saw the flowers Axel had sent and several others, likely from Maggie and Patricia. There were balloons and cards from the kids at the shelter, and it was very sweet. It was a very support circle of gifts, and it was beautiful to see them all pull together for Stella. People could be so amazing sometimes; this was truly a testament to that.

Stella was swollen and purple and black, but she looked...happy too. She looked...very happy, and Carol understood why. She had felt it herself. Freedom. Actual, terrifying, beautiful freedom. She always felt like she was being watch while she experienced that freedom for the first time. Stella had left her husband and made it known while Carol basically hid herself and Sophia. No that it mattered, those assholes were where they belonged, and Stella had a chance to start over. A new day.

"Carol." She smiled as best she could.

"Hey." She returned it. "How do you feel?"

"Like someone poured battery acid on my face," she replied, and Carol felt a lump forming in her throat.

"I—I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. It would have happened, even if I hadn't told that son of a bitch I was leaving him." She reached out, and Carol took her hand, sitting down. "And it's better that it happened this way. He'll finally pay for what he did, and my kids don't have to live with...that anymore."

"I'm so proud of you." She searched her eyes. "I know it doesn't mean much, but I am." She smiled at Stella. "I wish I was as brave as you."

"You made me brave," she confessed. "Seeing you and your daughter and knowing that we...were the same, that I could have too...was everything. This wasn't you, Carol. It was him and him alone. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have call the police before I told him, and he would have killed me."

"Stella—"

"Don't say anything, just listen to me, okay?" Carol nodded. "You saved my kids and you saved me. You always made time for me, and that means the world to me, Carol. If it wasn't for you, I don't know what would happen to my kids. I am so thankful for you working at the shelter, for being so caring and supportive. For understanding...me."

"Of course."

"You're a blessing, and...it's people like you who make the world a better place. I hope to be as strong as you one day." She beamed at Carol, such respect and gratitude in her green eyes, and it made tears prickle up in Carol's eyes. "Thank you so much, Carol."

"I'm here for you. I always will be."

They spoke for a little while longer, the day lower slipping toward evening, and they were joined by Maggie at five. Carol hadn't meant to spend so much time with her, but it felt good to be there. She wanted to see Stella smile about the future and now she had. She wanted to remember this moment, because it meant so much to both of them. She was so thankful for the officers that saved Stella, and she prayed that God gave her strength in the days to come. She had some difficult battles ahead, and she wasn't sure of how she would come out, but she had to hope it was for the better.

"Karen will be coming by with Sophia soon so I should get home." She glanced at Stella who was resting then back to Maggie. "Thank you for calling me. It was good to see her."

"I thought you could use some cheerin' up." She crossed her arms. "I have somethin' else for you."

"What?"

"A number." She reached into her back pocket. "I—I've noticed a change in you lately, and I realized you never had anybody to talk to. The women have you, but who do you have? So Patricia and I were able to find someone for you to speak with."

"Maggie, you didn't have to do that."

"I did." She held the slip of paper up. "She's good. Her name is Denise. Daddy took me to see her when my mom died. I was a mess, and she helped. I know she can help you."

"That's very kind of you."

"I'm a kind person." She smiled. "And I care about you. You're part of my family, Carol."

"I'll call her." She accepted the number. "Keep this between us, please. I don't want Axel or Sophia to learn about this. And especially not Daryl."

"My lips are sealed." She vowed.

"Thanks. I'll see you later."

"Yep." She nodded.

Carol folded the paper and slid it inside the pocket of her pants, heading for home. She had a lot to think about, and she knew she had to do what was best. Best for herself, for once.

– – –

"The table's set." Iris leaned against the counter. "And Patrick's not here, so let's just eat and go to bed and pretend this didn't happen."

"He'll be here." She met her eyes. "So will Shane."

"God, Shane too! What the fucking hell, Mom?! Can't I decide who the hell I want to tell?"

Andrea's brows rose. "Watch your mouth, young lady, and Shane's only coming to talk to me. If you haven't noticed, I haven't exactly kept him informed on...us, and he's just worried. He's not staying for dinner. He and Lori have plans with Carl and Judy."

"Oh." She cleared her throat. "Then I'm sorry."

"You're nervous about telling him. Why?"

"It's not exactly good news." She folded her arms. "And it's total crap I have to tell him in the first place. He'll be gone before I even really start to show. I could just be getting fat for all he'd know."

"You. Are. Telling. Him."

"I. Know."

The doorbell sounded, Iris flinched a little and gulped, and Andrea answered the door as her daughter was rooted to the counter. It was just Shane. He brought flowers and candy. The flowers were for Andrea, and he knew Iris always had a sweet tooth, so he brought her favorite caramel filled chocolates. She was so grateful, and Andrea didn't take them away.

"It's tense in here," Shane noted. "What have I missed?"

"I'm pregnant," Iris answered. "Thanks for the chocolates."

He blinked. "What?"

Andrea sighed. "Yes, Iris is pregnant. By Patrick."

"Wow, that's... Congratulations?"

Iris smiled at his fumbling. "Thanks. It ought to increase the drama around here." She excused herself to hid the candy in case her mom tried to take them once Shane left.

"How are you?" Shane whispered.

"Beyond stressed and completely terrified." She met his eyes. "If you want to come by later tonight, I could really use someone to talk to."

"Of course."

"Thank you."

A car pulled up in the driveway, and it was Patrick this time. Shane had to go to meet Lori and the kids, so he kissed Andrea goodbye and called to Iris to say goodbye. Andrea told her Patrick was here, and Anna was not. She and Sam kept their plans without Patrick, though Anna had sent a nice bottle of port with Patrick. It was very sweet, and so was Patrick.

"What's this?" Andrea spotted something purple in his hand.

"It's nothing." He stuffed it into his pocket. "Where's Iris?"

"Hiding candy like a dog hides a bone, I suspect." He looked confused, so she showed him to the dining room. "I'll get her."

"No need. Her is here." Iris came off the steps and smiled a little. "Hey."

"Hi," he softly responded.

"Let's eat." Andrea entered the dining room and took a seat.

"She made meatloaf," Iris told him. "You always like her meatloaf."

"Yeah."

They joined Andrea at the table, and it wasn't that awful. Patrick had no idea why he was there, but it was nice to be able to see Iris and not across a classroom. He could tell she was tense, and he wondered exactly why she would be tense. She had invited him here to talk, but she wasn't talking. Andrea was, and he enjoyed her conversations. He wouldn't mind being lawyer like her, but to be honest he wasn't sure what he wanted to be anymore. He hoped he knew soon. He was running out of time to find out. His parents would kill him if he went to college without knowing exactly...what he planned to do.

Iris swallowed meatloaf and mashed potatoes, avoiding looking at Patrick, and she could feel him watching her from time to time, and she was happy that Mom had a lot to say right now. They were having a somewhat interesting conversation, and Iris was glad they got along so well. If Patrick didn't support her being pregnant, Mom might be able to change his mind. Or rip his head off like Daryl might. She didn't want to think about that. She needed to focus on other things. Like how to tell him she was carrying his child without vomiting on his shoes first. Deep breaths were a starting place.

Dinner was over much too soon in Iris' opinion, and dessert was probably something gross and healthy, like the next nine months of her life. She didn't want any, and she could spare Patrick by telling him. It was now or ten minutes from now.

"Could I talk to you?" Iris asked him.

"Yeah, of course."

"In my room." She rose and carried her plate into the kitchen, giving her mom a nod.

Patrick met her in her bedroom, and he sat beside her on the bed. "What's up?"

"A lot lately." She tilted her head back and sighed, closing her eyes at the ceiling light in her eyes. "I have so much to tell you, and I don't know where to begin."

"Just start wherever." He reached over and set his hand over hers.

She smiled and straightened, meeting his eyes. "I love you, Patrick. I...really love you, and I'm so sorry for breaking up with you, and for not...explaining myself when you came to talk to me. It was very cruel, and I cannot apologize enough."

"It was." He searched her eyes and smiled a little. "I—love you too."

"I'm pregnant, Patrick." Instantly tears burned in her eyes, and he hadn't even responded to her yet.

He inhaled deeply, seemingly calm. "Pregnant?"

She nodded.

His hand left hers, he leaned forward and gripped his hair, cursing under his breath. His eyes were widen and his heart was racing in his chest, and the panic was filling his lungs. "Holy shit."

"Yeah," she whispered.

"Holy shit." He shot up and paced the room. "Shit!"

She hugged herself and couldn't look at him as he paced and cursed and panicked worse than Daryl and Mom combined. Well, the reactions she had planned for them anyway.

After a few minutes of that, he stopped and looked at her. "It was you."

"What was me?" She lifted her head.

"That bullshit about a "girl in one of your classes". There's no girl; it's _you_!"

"Well, I _am_ a girl, and I _am_ in my classes."

"You know what I mean."

"Do I?"

"Iris, please, don't."

"Don't what? I'm just asking a damn question, Patrick. You aren't exactly making sense. You're stomping back and forth and cursing and pulling at your hair. You aren't telling me shit. What are you feeling? What do you want to do?"

"I'm—I'm scared. That's what I'm feeling!"

"And I'm not?"

"I didn't say you weren't! You should be scared too! You're the one carrying...the baby." His voice grew weak at the end of the sentence.

" _Our_ baby," she corrected.

"Yeah, our baby."

"And I _am_ fucking terrified. I...can't give this child up, and I will not abort it. I...was almost aborted, and I won't do that to my kid, no matter how massively unprepared and young I am. I have no clue how to raise a child. I killed a pet in a game for pity's sake, but I'm going to try. I—I'm going to be a mom, so I have to try. Mom would try."

"That's...commendable."

"No, it's just the right thing to do."

"It is that."

"You...don't feel the same."

"When it comes to other stupid teenagers, yes, but this is...us. This is me. My life—your life too." He was very ashen. "This is real."

"It is real."

"I—I'm not ready to be a parent, Iris."

The burning came back ten times worse, and she dropped her gaze. It wasn't as though she could see him through her silvery tears in her eyes anyhow. She gripped her arms tightly and said nothing.

"I'm sorry. I know that's not what you want to hear."

"No, but it's how you feel. All you can do now is be honest." Her voice was thick, and tears were falling onto her rug.

"Iris—"

"Don't apologize." She lifted her head and shrugged. "I get it. I do, so why don't you just go now? You obviously have better things to do."

His eyes dropped to the floor.

"And don't worry about me. I have good friends and awesome parents so I'll be fine."

He stepped toward her. "I don't want to just leave it like this."

"There's nothing you can do to make this end okay." She shook her head. "Just please go."

He dug into his pocket and held out a small glass iris. "I...was going to give this to you that day, but I never got the chance. I—I want you to have it." She reached out and accepted the gift. "I know it's uh, poor timing, but still."

She crossed her arms, the iris close to her heart, and he left without another word. She lowered herself down onto the floor and coiled up, not yet bawling her eyes out. She pulled her legs up, her arms wrapped gently over her stomach, and she gripped the glass iris so hard she thought it might shatter. And when it didn't, she did.

Andrea heard someone coming downstairs, and she frowned when she saw Patrick's face. "Leaving?"

"I think that'd be best."

"She'll be fine," Andrea assured him. "She's strong, and we're here for her."

"I don't know what to do," he confessed. "I—I can't be a dad. I'm eighteen. I've never babysat. I've never—been around a baby. Only Judith, and only for a few minutes. I don't have anything to draw off of. My parents have always been...busy with work. I can't be a father."

"And Iris can be a mother? Patrick, she's sixteen, and just as scared as you. Hell, more scared than you. She's going to be a mother in nine months. She's not ready for that, but she doesn't have a choice, because she wants to keep your child. I...am so proud of her for being so strong. So is her father, I'm sure. It'll be difficult for all of us, but we'll be okay. I'm just sorry you won't be here." She nodded to the door. "I'll see you around, Patrick."

"How will Daryl take this?"

"Let's hope well." She really had no idea how he would take this, and she did hope well. If not, run like the damn wind, Patrick. "You should be the one to tell him."

"What? Why me?"

"Because it's your responsibility, Patrick. If you're not going to be in your child's life then you need to tell Daryl why. I assume you told Iris why as well."

He averted his eyes.

"Christ." She shook her head. "I'll talk to her, but you're talking to Daryl. And soon. He'll be calling to check in on Iris, and I won't cover for you. He'll respect that you came to tell him, I'm sure."

"All right. I'll tell him tomorrow."

"Good." She handed him the directions to Daryl's and hurried upstairs to her daughter. She found Iris on the floor, and she dropped beside her, setting a hand on her shoulder.

"I—I thought he'd...be here," she sobbed. "I didn't think—"

"I know." She wrapped an arm around her. "I know, baby."

"What's the point of loving somebody if they just let you down all the time?" She tossed the glass iris at her dresser, and it broke, but she didn't care. "How could I be so wrong about him?"

Andrea smoothed her hair down. "People will always let you down, but sometimes you meet people who would rather break themselves than let you down. Like Sophia, and Carol. And Daryl too, of course. I'm pretty sure even Merle is like that, with family."

"It's different. They're family. Patrick's... I just love him so much, and I thought he loved me too, and that would be enough. It wasn't. It won't ever be."

"Love isn't always enough. You have to work at it, both of you, and you have to...move forward together. You build each other up, make each other better..." She exhaled. "I'm sorry about Patrick."

"Yeah, me too." She squeezed her eyes shut.

Andrea closed her eyes. God, Daryl was going to kill him. Or he could try and talk some sense into him. Daryl's been where Patrick is now, so maybe.


	18. Speak For Once

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

Carol ambled into the kitchen to make some tea, her long cardigan worn and slipping over her right shoulder, and she was getting tired of pulling it back up. She was glad to be home so she could be in sweats and a tank top and drink tea until she fell asleep to old movies.

Karen and Sophia were coming home tomorrow, and Carol wasn't sure what the hell happened, she could hear in her voice that Sophia was happy. She would have a talk with Karen when she arrived. Sophia had school and while her grades were good and she rarely missed, she needed to be in school to continue that. Karen would have a fit if Carol did this with Maddie. At least they were safe and bonding. They'd better call in the morning, or she was going to blow up the house phone. It would wake up Harris, but oh well. Karen would have earned that.

She heard a knock on the door and frowned. Who was that at this hour? She opened the door and found Daryl on the other side, looking tired and relieved to see her. She couldn't help but smile a little at the sight of him. He was a mess in those black torn jeans and dark gray t-shirt, and that leather vest she swore was attached to his body.

"Did I wake you?" He gestured to her clothes.

"No. I—I just wanted to be comfortable." She let him inside and shut the door behind him. "Want some tea?"

"Nah, I'm good."

"Iced tea then?"

"Sure."

She prepared their teas, suddenly aware that the living room couch had her luggage tossed onto it, and the last place she wanted to sit was at the table. They went to her bedroom, Honey plopping down between them, and she rubbed her back, smiling at the lazy baby. They were both pretty beat. It'd been a long day after all.

"So, what brings you to my door?" She met his eyes. "You look flush and...stressed out."

"Iris is pregnant," he started. "Patrick's kid."

"It never stops with you."

"What?"

"The drama, I mean. It's always something more."

"Is that bad?"

"No. You certainly have an interesting life, Daryl Dixon. Painful and...cruel, but interesting." She cleared her throat. "How do you feel about the baby?"

He shrugged. "I dunno."

"You'll be a grandfather." She smiled a little. "You'll be able to get closer to Iris. You have experience with babies that neither she nor Andrea have."

"Still got nine months till then."

"You'll be fine. I'm sure of it."

"I'm not so sure."

"Why do you say that?"

"It's not about the baby. It's...Iris. It's like she keeps waitin' for me to be...like Phillip. Hell, I think she might actually want me to be like him, just so she doesn't have to rely on anybody else but her mom."

"Well, all she's had for most of her life was a crappy stepfather, who only cared about his daughter's interests and success. You're her actual father, Daryl. I've known Iris a long time, and she's built up an image of her biological dad for years. She thought it was Shane for the longest time, but now she knows it's you. She still has that image in the back of her mind, and she's probably scared that you're not going to live up to the dad she's been dreaming about for years. Or that you'll be better."

"How is that scary?"

"Because the imaginary dad is always there. You won't always be there, and I'm not saying you won't try to be there, but sometimes life...is difficult and things will come along that...may interfere with your relationship with her."

"You?"

"Yeah." She quietly exhaled. "And Merle, but I think he'll try his best to be there for both of you."

"Y'all talkin' and I just don't know it?"

She laughed. "No, but that's the kind of brother I think he is. At least now."

He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know how to make her see that I'm stayin'."

"Just keep showing up. It'll eventually stick with her." She reached over and rubbed his arm. "She doesn't know you or how reliable you are, remember? Sophia and I know, but it's only been a couple weeks since you've been in her life as her father."

"You're right."

"You two are a lot alike, and you can build a strong relationship on that."

He nodded. "So, how are you? It can't be all good with you."

"It's not." Her hand fell to the mattress. "One of my girls, Stella, was beaten up pretty bad by her husband when she told him she was leaving him. He...uh, poured battery acid on her face, broke a few ribs and almost her arm. The cops arrived then. She had called them before speaking to him. He's in jail, awaiting trial."

"Damn. Are you okay?"

"She is. She's recovering, and Maggie's a constant in her room. Her kids are staying with their uncle. Stella's brother. He...wouldn't have anything to do with her as long as she was with that asshole, but that is his niece and nephew, and he'll do just about anything for them. Stella will likely be staying with him when she's released from the hospital."

"That ain't want I asked." He met her eyes.

"I'm feeling...guilty. Really, really guilty."

"Why?"

"Because I'm the one she talked to, and I told her to leave him. It would have happened eventually, and I'm glad it worked out this way, because she's still alive, but..." She closed her eyes and turned away from him. "I should have been there with her. She shouldn't have had to do it alone. I even told her I'd be there. I forgot and went to see my sister, and she—"

"Hey, that's not your fault." He scooted closer, Honey inched forward toward the end of the bed at his knee near her side, and he slipped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her to him. "It wasn't your fault. You can't think like that."

"How can I not, Daryl? I left her...while I had fun with my sister and brother-in-law. I—"

"You were workin' yourself thin," he interrupted her. "It ain't a surprise you forgot. You needa step back and take a break sometimes. Shit, Carol, you can't save everybody, but you did save her. It wasn't perfect, but not everythin' is."

"...maybe, but...it shouldn't have been like that."

"It's never easy gettin' away from men like that," he reasoned. "Look at you and Ed and how you got away. It wasn't at all simple, but you had to do it, and you didn't come out without...a scratch on you."

"That's true, but it's different."

"The only thing that's different is it's Stella and not you." He pulled back to look at her face. "You did what you had to do to get her and those kids away from him, and they are now. That's what's important, Carol."

"You didn't see her today."

"But you did, and you'll see her tomorrow and the day after, and it's her, not her grave. She can heal now, thanks to you bein' there for her all those weeks."

She smiled a little and nodded. "You're right. You're completely right. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, just stop actin' like you're the reason it went to shit. You're not. Asshole probably had a shit day, got drunk and then Stella told him she was leavin'. She was smart to call the cops beforehand, and she might not have thought of that without you. Hell without you, she might not have been goin' to tell him she was leavin', just gone in to check on him, and he woulda killed her."

"I know."

"You're good for these women and their kids, Carol. It don't always work out how you think, but nothin' ever goes as planned."

"I already agree with you, Daryl." She spoke in a hushed tone, not having to worry about him hearing, because his face was only inches from hers. "Unless there's something on your mind that's not about Iris or her baby."

"Sometimes you say you know, but it's a lie. Just wanted to make sure it was real this time."

She smiled. "Yes, it's real."

"All right, good."

She studied his eyes for a long time, wishing she could read his mind and know what was eating at him. It wasn't all Iris, and what else it was he wasn't going to tell her. If she could just guess it and try to ease down his walls, they could have a genuine conversation about whatever was bothering him. He might not be ready, and she didn't want to push. She had issues of her own she didn't even want to address, so she understood. She wouldn't pry. She would be here for him, as always.

"Why are you lookin' at me like that?" he whispered.

Instead of answering, she leaned forward and gently kissed him. She had a long road of recovery ahead of her, and she would like some of his strength to do this. She wasn't prepared for what was she walking into when she met Denise, but as long as she knew why she was doing this, she would make it through. She had to do this for herself and for her future. As long as she kept his abuse bottled up, he was winning, because she would never get close to anybody. He didn't win when he tried to break her, and he wasn't going to take the rest of her life away. A life she wanted to live with her daughter and the man she loved.

"What was that?" he asked once she pulled back.

"For luck," she answered.

"Luck?"

"Yes."

He didn't question why she needed luck, just said, "All right."

"So, how have the last couple of days been for you?" She moved back out of his personal space and picked up her mug of tea.

He chuckled once. "Where do I start?"

"As long as you speak, I don't think it matters where."

He began to tell her about the first time he saw Ruth, before Ella was born and he worked his way to the visit when he found out she was still alive, and then the trip with Iris. He told her things he didn't even know he felt, and she just listened, her eyes so studious, and he could feel the distance between them...vanishing. For the first time since that night, he felt like they were friends, like they could be more again, and he almost didn't want to stop talking for fear of this feeling disappearing into the air. But from the look in her beautiful light blue eyes, he wasn't the only one who was fearful, and he wasn't the only one could feel it. This was how they started. This was how they moved forward, together.

––

Daryl rolled over and jolted, not expecting the fur his feet brushed against. He looked down and saw Honey at the foot of the bed and chuckled to himself. He was at Carol's. They had fallen asleep together. Damn, he was drained. He didn't even remember falling asleep. He could barely recall their conversation with the haze of exhaustion clouding his brain, so he lied down and saw Carol beside him. He saw the space between them and closed it, carefully resting an arm around her waist, and he was about to close his eyes when he saw the faint scars on her shoulder peeking out from behind her cardigan that had slipped off her shoulder. He woke up a little more at the sight of it, and he remembered what Merle had said.

He leaned forward and rested his forehead against her shoulder, exhaling, and he closed his eyes, oddly not worried about their relationship. It was the most confident he had been about anything, and he knew he would have to tell her. She would understand. She always had before, and he knew that wouldn't change. She was the woman he loved, and he wasn't going to lose her, because he was scared.

– – –

Merle was drinking coffee, trying to figure out where the hell Daryl was, and he was about to call Iris and Andrea to see if he had stayed the night with them again. He wanted to know what happened with Ruth and Iris, and he worried what that bitch told Iris. He didn't like Ruth, possibly even less than Daryl. She was like their father, only her words were her fists, and she fucked Celia up. He wasn't the girl's best friend, but she was the mother of his niece so he kept tabs on her while she was pregnant, and what Ruth told her made him see red. He hoped she got hers.

The front door opened, and Daryl tossed his keys onto the table.

"Where the hell have you been?" Merle demanded.

"Carol's." He looked tired.

"Carol's, huh? Doin' what? You look like shit."

"We talked. All night." He poured himself a cup of coffee. "We passed out 'round six. Sophia woke us up." He rubbed his eye.

"What'd y'all talk about?"

"Most things." He sat down on a stool. "Not him."

Merle chuckled, and it was a bitter, annoyed sound. "You needa tell her."

"I do," he agreed. "Just...need time."

"Sure you got time?"

"Yeah." A small smile danced on his lips. "She kissed me."

"And that means what?"

He groaned. "Merle, just shut up. Let me enjoy one good thing this mornin'. Christ."

"How's the kid then?"

"She's good. Probably wrecked with mornin' sick 'bout this time, but she's fine." He groaned again. "Fuck, I was supposed to stop by last night. Shit."

"Too busy makin' eyes at Carol."

He glared, and Merle smirked. "I should call her. Where's the phone?"

"Table." He pointed it.

He slid off the stool and grabbed the phone, hearing a knock on the front door. He glanced at Merle and wondered who that was. He pulled the door open and found Patrick on the other side. He would have invited him in, but the kid looked ready to run. He set the phone down and exited the house, closing the door so Merle couldn't snoop.

"What're you doin' here?" How did he even know where he lived?

"I need to talk to you, sir. It's about your daughter."

"My daughter or my grandchild?"

"Umm, both. Sir."

He shook his head. "Enough with the "sir" shit. C'mon, let's take a walk."

"A walk?"

"Yeah, I need some air." He padded down the stairs and glanced back at the pale-faced kid. "What, worried about no witnesses?"

He paled even more. "Uhhh—"

"Kid, just come on."

Peering at the front door, he stepped off the porch and followed Daryl into the woods. They walked a path that was slightly muddy, but Daryl made sure he knew where to walk. They were deep into the woods by the time Daryl stopped and sat on a rock, more awake from the morning air than the coffee he hadn't gotten a sip of.

"So, you don't wanna be in your child's life?" He picked up a stick and looked over at the young man.

"No, it's not that I don't—"

"Then you're a chickenshit?"

"I just can't be a parent. I'm not mentally ready for that, and I don't have anything to draw off of. I'd do more harm than good. And if that makes me...chickenshit then fine."

"Sit down."

He looked back at the rock behind him and sat. "What?"

"Let me tell you something, Patrick." He locked eyes with him. "Iris was an accident. She was conceived, because me and her mom were both wasted, and it wasn't all alcohol in our systems. Celia—Iris' birth mom—wanted to abort her, and honestly I didn't know what I was feeling. My brother stood up for Iris and went off on her until she decided to have the baby and just give it to me. I wasn't ready. I didn't have a job. I didn't have money or anythin' to "draw off of" 'cause my parents were shit."

"It's different. You were old. Well, older than us."

"Only a few years older. We were entirely different than you and Iris. I was...nobody, nothin'. Just...an asshole who followed his even bigger asshole brother around." He leaned back. "Celia was twenty and tryin' to get into a decent college, but with the pressure from her mother and not knowin' what she wanted to do, she let her friend take her to a few parties, and she got pregnant at one. Her entire life changed. Even if she had aborted Iris, her life wasn't ever gonna go back to what it was."

"What happened? I mean, with you. She had Iris, but you raised her. For a time anyway."

"Celia didn't wanna be a mom, and...I couldn't be a dad, but Iris needed both, or at least one of us. Celia couldn't do it. She was a mess, so it had to be me. As months when by, I realized I wanted to be a dad. I wanted to be better than my asshole dad. I wanted to...leave somethin' good behind in the world. I wanted my daughter." He exhaled deeply. "I didn't know how it'd feel."

"How what would feel?"

"Bein' a dad. Knowin' I made this...little human, and that no matter how bad I fucked up in my life, she'd still smile at me like I was a goddamn hero. See, I was tryin' to be a good dad for her, and all the while she...was healin' me. She made me be better, try harder, never give up. She was...the only good thing in my life for a long time, and even with all of the misery I endured, I wouldn't change a thing."

Patrick scraped a nail across the moss on the rock he sat on. "Well, you're a good guy."

"So are you, and I ain't gonna make you be in your kid's life. I couldn't make Celia, but she eventually decided that she wanted to know her little girl. When Iris turned four, she came out to see her a few days after. I was still pissed at her, but I let her see Iris. That was the first and last time they spoke."

"Why?"

"Celia died a while later."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"We were never close. We never loved each other. We could barely stand each other to be honest." He tossed the stick he was holding and stood up. "But you love my daughter. I know you do, and I know that if you walk away from her, I won't let you near her or your child again. She won't approve, but I won't let you do what Celia did. Iris found that was her mom, and I know she wondered why Celia wasn't around, why I never talked about her, why Celia didn't love her enough to visit more, and I won't let my grandchild have those thoughts."

"It's not your choice," Patrick said. "If I want to see my own kid, you can't—"

"I can and will ensure you never see anythin' of this baby. Who do you think will have the baby most of the time? Me. Carol. Andrea. Iris still has school, and you will be off at college by the time its born. You already hurt my daughter, and I won't let you do that again."

"I never meant to hurt her. I just—"

"Abandoned her when she needed you most? Yeah, 'cause that's better."

"It's not my fault—"

"It's on both of y'all. You both decided to have sex and created this child," Daryl corrected. "And you made up your mind. You don't love Iris enough, and you don't love your child at all. You made that clear when you left her last night. Yeah, Andrea called me this morning."

He dropped his eyes. "I never wanted to hurt her. I didn't think she'd...say that she was pregnant. I thought...she wanted to talk about...dating again. I didn't... We were careful. I don't understand how this happened."

"Everything works out the way it's supposed to. Maybe this is how Iris finally lets you go." He saw Patrick flinch. "Is that what you want?"

He shook his head.

"Let me hear what you want, Patrick."

"I love Iris, and I—I want to be with her, but I can't be a father."

"Then be with Iris," he suggested. "Be with her and...see how you feel about bein' a dad later."

"What?" He lifted his head, his eyes filled with tears. "What do you mean?"

"She has nine months until the baby's here. You have nine months to decide if your pathetic hide can be a father or not, and I think you do want to. You're just worried about the future. You're worried about money and what your parents will think. You're a worrywart. I figured that out the day I met you." He crossed his arms. "Go think on it, but you need to decided if you're gonna cut all ties right here and now, or if you're going to be a man and raise your child."

"You make it sound easy."

"It ain't easy. I had to learn all of it by myself. I had to go through ear aches and fevers and stress that I was doin' the wrong thing all by my damn self. I had no help for the longest time, but I still did it 'cause she needed me. I needed her. She was the only thing I was livin' for, and I owed it to her to give her my best. She was worth it, and I don't regret anythin'. Will you be able to say the same?"

"I want to be able to."

"So do you regret leavin'?"

"Sorta."

"Sorta?"

"Well, I'm not happy I left her in tears. I feel like shit. She must feel worse." He shook his head. "I never thought it'd happen to me. I know guys in my class and who've graduated before me who have kids, and I always told myself I wouldn't be like them. I wouldn't have a child in high school. But Iris is pregnant. With our child. I don't know what to do. I want to do what's right, but I can't."

"Why can't you?"

"Because all I'm good at is work! Paperwork and school work!" He looked up at Daryl. "That is all I'm good for."

"Says who? Kid, you're damn smart and driven and for some reason capable of making my daughter love you even when you're asshole. There's more to you than the shit your parents make you think. You're not good with kids? You can learn that. You can learn how to change diapers and how to check for fevers and if milk's warm enough. You're smart, you can learn it. I did."

He sniffed and then nodded. "If you can do it, I definitely can do it. I mean...I am smarter than you. Uh, no offense."

"None taken. You're just smarter than me when it comes to books."

He exhaled. "I need to talk to Iris." He stood up. "Thank you for...not killing me, and for talking to me. My parents never had time to talk with me, just _at_ me, and I really appreciate it."

"Well, we're family now."

He smiled. "We are. Thank you, sir. I mean, Daryl."

"Yeah, just go talk to my daughter. And keep your damn pants on this time."

He blushed and started back toward the house.

Daryl watched the kid leave then looked back at the pond through the trees. Now all he had to do was find a way to talk to Carol like that. Open and honest. One step at a time. Right now, he needed to finish that coffee and get ready for work.

––

Patrick was looking over the photos Iris had sent him. She was holding a card in each picture, and she sent four pictures, and the cards read: _And I don't want the world to see me/ 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand/When everything's made to be broken/ I just want you to know who I am._ He inhaled deeply, eyes closed. He didn't know how good of a father he would be, but he couldn't not try. He had given his all into so much he didn't care about for his parents. He couldn't not do that with Iris. He loved her, and he wouldn't let her down like this. He wouldn't let himself down like this. Fuck his parents, they didn't know him, and they couldn't control him. He wouldn't do what he knew they expected of him. They never did what he asked or hoped of them, so why should he return it? They didn't care about him or his wants, and he wouldn't do the same to his own kid, because he did care. He cared more than he thought he would.

He climbed out of the car and walked up the drive, finding the door open as Andrea was about to head out for work. He offered her a smile, and she returned it. He stepped inside and closed the door, spotting Iris on the couch with a pink photo album in her lap.

"Hey." He remained in the doorway.

"What are you doing here?" She set the album on the coffee table.

"I need to talk to you. Explain myself."

"I already know why you said and did all that. I'm not stupid, Patrick. And you can't just come in here and expect me be happy you changed your mind. I'm not happy with you. You really hurt me."

"I know I did. I was a major dick, and I am sorry, but I want to be here. I want to be with you and the baby. I just don't know how. I have no clue how to be here, or what to do about any of this."

"And I do?"

He lowered his eyes. "I'm not leaving again. I promise. This time, I'm staying. Daryl made me see—"

"Daryl?" She cut him off. "You talked to Daryl?"

"Yeah, just an hour ago. He helped me understand that even though I'm clueless about babies and being a parent, I can learn. And I can be better than my parents. I _will_ be better, so please just give me a chance. One last chance. I won't let you down. I won't let our baby down."

"I would say no, but I wouldn't mean it."

He grinned and hugged her. "I love you, and I'm sorry."

She smiled and buried her face in his shoulder. "I'm going to give you hell for that."

"I know."

"And I love you too." She shut her eyes. This was going to be hard, but for now it wasn't. She would need him and Mom and Daryl and Sophia and Carol for the months ahead. She needed family, and she finally had it. She hoped now that this all worked out, because she couldn't handle anymore pain. She hoped more than anything that Carol and Daryl worked it out too, because she couldn't stand being part of the reason they were broken up. Maybe this was a new start. Tabula rasa, or something.

– – –

Daryl instantly spotted Axel and Carol at the shelter. She made tired look a hell of a lot better than he did. She looked better, less tense than last night, and she even seemed to be smiling a little bit wider. He didn't know why, but every time she spoke, he could feel her lips on his. He wasn't sure what last night was about, but he suddenly felt...better about her and Axel. Maybe because he knew the only thing that changed between them was that they were broken up. What he felt, what she felt, was still there, and he could feel that now.

Carol saw Daryl just standing in the hallway, and she wondered what was wrong with him. He was just...standing there. She couldn't help but smile, and she set a hand on Axel's shoulder. "I'm happy for you. And your brother. Tell him I said good luck and that I wish him the best."

"I will. Thank Andrea for me. She saved my brother."

"I will." She dropped her hand. "And good luck tonight."

"I'll need it. I haven't dated anyone in a long time."

"I know you'll do fine. Just make sure she's not a vegan or vegetarian, okay? I think that's just about the only thing you can screw up."

"Let's hope. I should get back to work. I'll see you later."

She nodded and sauntered over to Daryl. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just...thinkin'."

"About?"

"What's goin' on with Axel?"

"He's found himself some luck." She looked back at him. "Andrea and one of her friends found proof that his brother was set up. He was released on Sophia's birthday. It's amazing, really. And Axel has a date tonight. I've been trying to help him find a place she'd like. He just wants everything to be perfect." She shrugged a shoulder. "And you didn't answer my question."

"Patrick came by, and he didn't want anythin' to do with the baby. We talked, and I think he's changed his mind."

"I hope so."

He noticed her widening smile. "What?"

"I'm really proud of you, Daryl. You not only made him see that he should be there, but you didn't scare the living crap out of him in the process." He snorted, and she laughed. "See, talking helps."

"It does."

"I have to leave early today, so I wanted to remind you that Maggie's sister will by today. She'll need help with the kids. I'm not sure with what, but you and Axel will have to help her. Maggie's with Stella, and I have an appointment I can't get out of."

He nodded. "Okay, I'll give her a hand."

"Thank you."

"What appointment?"

"It's personal, but I'll let you know how it goes. I'll see you later."

"Yeah."

She got in her car and drove to her appointment. She was meeting with Denise. Better sooner than later, and she didn't want to lose her nerve. She had to do this, and she was glad to have a friend as good as Maggie to help her with this. It was time to drive the rest of Ed out of her life for good.

– – –

Daryl stopped Andrea's that night around dinnertime to apology about not being there last night. He could see now that Iris didn't mind him not showing, and it seemed best that he hadn't. She hadn't looked at the album yet, just kept it close. So when dinner was over, Daryl and Iris got comfortable on her bed and were about to open it when Andrea asked if they needed anything.

"Just one thing." Iris patted the spot open on her bed. "I want both of you here when I look at this."

"Oh." She entered and had a seat by her. "You haven't even peeked?"

"No, I wanted to look at it with my parents."

Andrea smiled at her. "Then let's take a look."

Iris reached over and opened the album, finding a picture of Celia inside. She was young and happy, and it was probably the happiest she'd ever been in her entire life. Daryl and Andrea scooted closer to view the album, unintentionally crushing Iris between them, and she smiled a little at it. Whatever issues Mom and Daryl had had been worked through, and they were a team. Iris could feel that they had respect for each other, and she could see it at dinner tonight. They were a family, an odd and growing family, but the most real family she'd ever had. Her baby was going to be so loved.


	19. Hold Onto Hope, Love

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

 _~Three Months Later~_

"So, how do you feel today?" Sophia asked, keeping a diary of her best friend's pregnancy for her future niece and/or nephew.

"Like I need more sleep." She crossed her legs. "Dude, stop with the diary, just be here."

"Your birth mom kept one."

"And I'm not her. Besides, I already have Mom doing all of that."

"That's basically your health diary."

"Exactly. So stop!"

"Fine." She closed the notebook and pen. "What movie do you wanna watch? Mom and Andrea said they don't care, just nothing spooky."

"Let's watch anything that doesn't involve pregnancies or children."

"Iris, that's practically horror."

"We can watch _Buffy."_ She waggled her eyebrows.

"No. That's a series, and you don't even own any of the seasons." Sophia stood up. "You're grouchy today. What's wrong?"

"I'm not grouchy. I'm just...tired. Do you know how uncomfortable my bed is? Seriously, I think it's a slate of metal coated wood with sheets. I was hoping Mom worked late so I could crash in her bed, but nope. I can try the couch again."

"You can't afford a new bed, but talk to my mom. She's been through pregnancies and bad beds so she may have tips."

"That's actually a good idea."

"I'm full of 'em." She smirked. "I'll put in _Princess Bride._ "

"Yes, I love that movie."

"Is Daryl coming?" She looked over the movies to find the _Princess Bride_.

"No. He and Merle had plans. I don't know what that means, but I suspect beer and "brotherly bonding"."

"You are talking about Merle and Daryl Dixon, right?"

"Ha ha." She pointed out the movie. "They're different. I don't know how they were before, but Merle's changed. I can see it when Dad and he are together. Daryl gets this look, like who the hell are you, and Merle just chuckles and shakes his head."

"You're doing it again."

"Doing what again?"

"Trying to say Daryl instead of Dad, and you failed."

"I'm not trying to call Daryl by his name rather than dad."

"Yes, you are."

"I'm not. It keeps slipping in. I'm not...sure if I want to call him dad yet or not. He's...been really great to me and to Mom, and I love him a lot. I just...don't know. I'm so used to calling him Daryl that Dad seems weird. It's like drinking flat pop."

"But he is your father. He's the reason Patrick's in your life. I think he deserves to be called dad."

"Now who's grouchy."

"I just think it's ridiculous that you're struggling with something so stupid. He's your frigging father, just call him so."

"Is this even about me anymore?"

"Yes, it is! What more does he have to do to prove that's your dad? That's he's worthy of being called your dad? For pity's sake, he has to get Andrea's permission to check you out of school! That's bullshit, Iris."

"Mom's going to add him to the list on my record. She's busy. And I do think he's worthy. He never was unworthy. It's just—"

"—weird, I know."

Her eyes burned. "Why are you saying this?"

"Because it's bullshit, Iris."

"What is? That I'm not ready to call him dad? That I'm—"

"Could you stop thinking about yourself for once?" Sophia snapped. "He is breaking is back to prove that's he here for you! Just yesterday I found out he's taken on another job to help pay for this baby! And you can't call him dad? He's not leaving! He's not going to just abandon you! Why do you have that fear anyway? You've been left once, because some horrible woman told a lie, and you were taken home, what, a week later?"

"I don't have abandonment issues. And not me who isn't ready to call him dad, it's him who's not ready to be called dad! He told me so himself, so why don't you go off on someone else?" Iris retorted. "I would love to call him my dad, but he's...weird about it. I don't know why, but it's not my business. And it's not his fault he's not with your mom either, so go demand Carol tell you why they haven't gotten back together!"

"This has nothing to do with my mom and Daryl's relationship."

"It has everything to do with their relationship! You're jealous, because he's spending so much time with me and my mom. He doesn't have time for you or your mom, and you're taking it out on me! Well don't! Talk to him about him."

She tossed the movie onto the table. "I'm going home."

"What?"

"Enjoy your movie." She grabbed her purse and jacket, scurrying out the front door.

"Sophia." Iris went after her. "Get back here!"

Outside Sophia was in her car, but she hasn't pulled out yet. Iris opened the passenger side door and climbed inside, seeing Sophia had her head bowed by the steering wheel. She was crying. Iris reached over and set a hand on her shoulder, trying to soothe her but having no clue what the hell was wrong. Sophia never snapped, no matter how bad things got, so why did this happen? Who made her explode? Seriously, did Daryl say something to her? Or Carol? What was going on?

"I'm sorry," Sophia whispered. "I didn't mean to...go off on you like that."

"I figured. What's wrong? I know I've missed some school and a lot of the Molly drama, but I didn't think I'd missed anything major. What happened?"

"It's not Molly." She sucked in a breath. "It's Carl."

"Carl? What did he do?"

"Umm, well...we broke up last week." She couldn't look at Iris.

"What? That asshole broke up with you?!" Iris exclaimed. "A week ago? Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"Because just like Daryl, you'll want to kick his ass, and you can't in your condition."

"Did Daryl?"

"No, he doesn't know. Neither does Lizzie."

"How does she not know?" Iris paused. "You're cutting classes? And lunch?"

"No, no. Carl's been busy with his classes, and Lizzie has her own problems. She talks to me, but she doesn't want to mention them. It's about herself, I know. Ryan talks to Mom, and I hear about it from her."

"What's wrong with her?"

"She's been struggling a lot lately. I don't know what's wrong, but it's like she's not even there anymore. I'm worried about her, and she won't talk to me."

"We'll talk to her together tomorrow. It's taco day, and we can pry it out of her."

"She barely eats lunch anymore."

"We'll make her."

"You don't understand. She's like a zombie, Iris. Food isn't going to make her snap out of it. Do you not know what time it is?"

"Eight-forty-five."

"No, it's the same time her mother died," Sophia hissed. "Only now instead of not eating or binge eating, she's totally not there. I'm scared for her, and I can't talk to anybody, because who is there to talk to? Mom just wants to assure me it's all right, and Daryl only has time to work, and you're too damn busy with appointments and baby shit to even reply to my texts! I have nobody to talk to about anything, and God forbid anybody notices!"

"I—I'm sorry. I didn't—"

"Yeah, sure. It's not all about you and your latest drama."

"Sophia? Iris?" Carol called from the doorway. "You girls going somewhere?"

"No," Sophia replied. "Just me. I'm going to pick up some snacks."

"We'll pick them up," Iris told Sophia.

"No, just me."

"You can't just drive off angry. People do stupid things when they're mad, and I don't want Carol to get a phone call saying you were killed in a car accident. We've had enough of those, don't you think?"

"Get out of my car. You can't just care now that I've told you what my problems are! Get out!"

"No." She fastened her seat belt. "Let's go. I want some rice cakes anyway."

"Get inside with our moms right now, or I swear to God, Iris, I will drag you out myself. I want to be alone."

Seeing she wasn't going to win, Iris unbuckled herself and got out of the car, joining Carol. They watched Sophia pull out, and Iris felt even more like shit. She hugged herself and returned to the living room with Carol. Andrea had the movie in, though she was still on the phone with Shane who was working late.

"Are you all right, Iris?" Carol looked her over.

"Not really."

"Sophia's going through a lot right now. She doesn't want to talk to me about it, even though she thinks I don't notice. She needs a friend right now, and I'm sorry that's it not you."

"Who else is there?"

"I don't know. Daryl's...been working on something for a while now, but he'll always make time for you girls. I talked to him, and he's going to talk to her tomorrow, so don't worry about her. She's strong, but she has a limit of how much she can handle. It's been a rough couple of weeks with you being pregnant and Carl and the rumors around school—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what rumors?" Iris interrupted. "There are rumors?"

"You don't know?"

"Because this is the face of somebody in the know?" Iris frowned. "What rumors? About me? Or Sophia?"

"I couldn't say. Sophia only mentioned rumors."

"I'm going to kill Molly! She's such a bitch!"

"Iris, don't get so worked up. They may not even be about you, and I don't think it's Molly."

"That doesn't matter, and it so is! If that bitch is starting rumors that are upsetting my best friend, her ass is going to get kicked! Nobody starts shit that upsets my best friend."

"She's not worth it, Iris. And I doubt it's just her. We actually don't know if it's even her. Sophia won't say, and the principal can't find the source of the rumor. We'll get it sorted. You need to take it easy. It's not just you anymore."

She set a hand on her stomach. "I know, but being pregnant doesn't make me not here anymore. I'm going to talk to her, and I'll make her stop. Trust me, please."

"You have to let Sophia fight her own battles."

"You won't say that when she snaps and starts beating the snot out of Molly."

"Just go sit down on the couch and calm down, please. I'll wait for Sophia."

"Okay." She hesitated. "How are things with you and my dad?"

"That's not the sound of walking."

"Just let me know if I'm ruining your life too."

"You're not ruining anybody's life, Iris. You don't have that power, now go sit."

She smiled a little. "Okay." She glanced at the door. If it wasn't Iris who was causing Sophia problems, who was?

– – –

"Isn't it a little too early to be doing this?" Merle asked his brother. "She's only three months."

"I got plenty of free time right now, and it keeps me busy." He turned to face his brother. "I like buildin' things."

"You're just tryin' to not think about Carol."

He scoffed. "Shut up and give me a hand."

"You got all this time. You'll manage." He drank from his beer and smirked as his brother began to work on the crib for his grandchild. "By the way, Carol called."

"She did?"

"Don't get so excited. It was about Sophia."

"She all right?"

"She skipped school today."

"What? That ain't like her at all."

"Well it is now. Carol asked if you'd help her look for Sophia. Andrea's at work, and Iris is at school, so it's just y'all two."

"You're helpin'." He grabbed his keys. "Merle, please."

"I barely know what the kid looks like."

"Use this." He threw the picture of Iris and Sophia he had in his wallet at Merle. "The redhead."

"Obviously."

"Go. Now."

"All right."

Daryl got into his truck and exhaled. What was going on with Sophia? She's never skipped school before. She's a model student. Not much has changed lately, so why would she up and skip now? Sure, Iris was pregnant and had appointments that Andrea made her go to to ensure her pelvis could handle childbirth—which had been a concern for Andrea for years, and it was resolved, because it was—so she missed a lot of school, but Sophia wasn't childish enough to act out because her best friend wasn't in class. She had other friends anyway. What the hell was going on with her? He hadn't been around lately, but they talked all the time. He didn't see this coming. Why the hell did he see this coming? Christ, had he really been so stupid as to see what she wanted him to see? Shit, either she was good or he was an asshole. It wasn't both, that was for sure.

He called Carol and put her on speaker. "Hey."

"Hi." She sounded upset. "Did you get my message?"

"Yeah, I'm headin' out right now."

"Good. Thank you."

"Where have you looked?"

"Almost everywhere she's ever been. Daryl, I don't know how I didn't see this coming. I've spoken to her every night, looked her in the eye, and everything seemed to be all right. I was so wrong."

"Don't blame yourself. She's your kid—she bottles shit up too."

"She shouldn't have to."

"She's also a teenager. They hide things from their parents all the time. Like Patrick. His parents don't know he knocked up Iris."

"This isn't the same. Sophia and I talk about everything. She told me, and I didn't listen. Or I didn't think about what she said hard enough. She was telling me this entire time, and I didn't hear it."

"Calm down. Where are you? I'll pick you up, and we'll look together."

"I'm at Hershel's clinic. He hasn't seen her since last weekend."

"Wait for me, okay? I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Okay." She sniffled. "I'll see you soon."

He hung up and pulled out, driving for the clinic. He hadn't been this way in a long time. He and Hershel spoke at the shelter from time to time, but mostly Axel dealt with any mechanical problems Hershel had. He should stop by more often, lend a hand. Maybe if he had, he could have seen Sophia and talked to her about whatever she was letting festering. She was such a good person, but she and Carol both liked to try and handle everything by themselves. They both took the blame when they shouldn't. Now it was Sophia's turn to get lectured. He hoped she was all right. She had a car now, and Hershel was paying her so she could afford gas and such. She could have run away, and they wouldn't know it. Shit, please let her car get a flat tire.

At the clinic, he saw Carol in her car, puffy eyed and on the phone. He got out and met her by the door. He had a sense of deja vu, but he had more important things to think on right now. He offered her a small smile, and she embraced him.

"Thank you for coming."

"I'm always gonna be here for you," he said into her hair. "And Sophia."

"Did she say anything to you?" She pulled back enough to look at him. "Or did you notice anything wrong with her?"

"No, I didn't. She didn't. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I should have noticed. She's my daughter. I spend my day listening to people, and I can tell the lies apart, but not from my own child?" She shook her head.

"We'll find her. Have you tried callin' her?"

"She left her phone at home."

"Doesn't matter. We know her best, and we'll bring her home. She couldn't have gotten far."

"She has a car, Daryl. And money. She could literally be anywhere!"

"Carol, she's our daughter, and we'll find her. She wouldn't just leave town. She wouldn't hurt you like that, all right? Just calm down. We need to think where she might go."

She gave him a sideways look. "Our daughter?"

"What?" He frowned at her.

"You said "our daughter"."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did."

"I didn't mean it. Slip of the tongue." He cleared his throat, trying to move past the awkward moment. It wasn't entirely a slip of the tongue. He did think of Sophia his daughter. After knowing her for the past six years, she felt like family. He should explain that to Carol, so she didn't think he was insane. "C'mon, we're wastin' daylight."

"Did she not come to your place?" Carol rubbed her arms. "She did it once before."

"She didn't come to me."

She nodded. "Then let's go find out who she did go to. There are a few places I haven't been to."

––

Sophia searched the cemetery and found Lizzie by the her mother's grave. She dropped beside her, hands in her jacket, and she looked over Lizzie's blank face. She had been crying, her eyes were swollen, and she had stains down her cheeks. She had brought fresh flowers for the grave, and she held a stuff rabbit in her lap. It was new, and Sophia remembered that her mother was fond of rabbits. She was fond of all animals, even rats and roaches.

"Hey." Sophia pulled her hands from her pocket.

She looked over at her friend with empty eyes. "You're here."

"Of course." She set a hand around her shoulders. "I promised I would be. It's going to be all right."

"No, it's not." Tears sprang up in her blue eyes. "It's really not."

"What is it, Lizzie?"

"I found...umm, I found out that my mom's death...wasn't an accident."

"What?"

"She committed suicide, Sophia. She left us on purpose." She was trembling. "Why would she do that? _How_ could she do that?"

"God, I am so sorry." She pulled Lizzie closer. "I'm so sorry, Lizzie."

"Why would she leave us?"

Sophia couldn't say. She never knew Lizzie's mother on a level that would give her insight as to why she would take her own life. Only Ryan could answer that, and since he lied to the girls about how their mother died, that wasn't a possibility right now. He wanted to protect them from the truth, like all parents want to, but sometimes the truth needed to be told. There were so many lies spoken to protect loved ones, and she wasn't sure they were worth it. Look at Lizzie now. Did he really think he could protect her from this?

"I don't know, but I'm here. I'm right here."

The two girls sat there with wet grass seeping through their jeans, Lizzie's head on Sophia's shoulder, sobbing on her jacket, and Sophia tried to sooth her. With an ache like this, was there any amount of soothing worth a damn? This wasn't an accident. It wasn't her "time". It was voluntary. Sophia didn't understand. She couldn't, but she wouldn't judge Lizzie's mom. She had no right to. God only knows what that woman endured to be driven to suicide.

––

Having spent the last two hours with Lizzie at the cemetery, Sophia decided it was time to call her mom. Or she should have if she had her phone. It must have fallen our of her purse. There went that. Her mom must be worried sick. She should have left a note, but Lizzie said to meet her alone. She wasn't allowed to tell anybody. She didn't want Mika to find out, and she didn't want anybody else to know. Not Iris, not Patrick, not Carl, just Sophia. Sophia didn't know why, but she respected Lizzie's wishes. If only she could do something more.

"How are you feeling?" Sophia handed her a bottle of water.

"I'm confused." She accepted it just to be kind. "I don't understand, Sophia. I've been thinking about this for weeks now, and I don't understand why she would do this. She...was happy. She smiled all the time and made jokes and was so kind. Why take her own life?"

"I think she kept up a strong front for you and Mika. You two were her entire world, and she likely tried her best to keep the...dark parts of herself hidden from you both."

"I could have helped her!"

"You don't know that."

"I do! I'm her daughter! I could have helped her, Sophia. I—I'm good at helping people. Why didn't she give me a chance to help her?" Her voice broke.

"Maybe...she didn't want you to know she had dark thoughts like that. She was only trying to protect you, and in the end...she couldn't protect herself. She got lost, and..." she trailed off.

"I could've done something to help her."

"We'll never know if you could've. You can't blame yourself, Lizzie. We're kids. We shouldn't have to think about things like that. I'm sorry this happened, but there's nothing you can do now to change her death."

"You're right, but...that doesn't erase this guilt. And how do I tell Mika? _Do_ I tell Mika?"

"One day, but she's too young right now."

"And I'm old enough?"

"There's no age where being told someone you love killed themselves is enough. She's fourteen, Lizzie. If we could guess that age, it certainly isn't fourteen."

"Burdens of being an older sibling."

"I wouldn't know, but I do know you. You're so strong, and I know you'll get through this. I'm here for you, and I'll help you through this."

"Thank you." She smiled a little. "I really appreciate that."

"Let's go get something to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"But you need to eat something. You're too skinny."

"I can't promise I'll eat anything."

"That's enough for me." She smiled at her brokenhearted best friend. "You'll get through this."

"Not soon enough."

– – –

"Have you called Andrea?" Daryl inquired. "She might have seen Sophia. Or Iris might have heard from her."

"I only called you. Andrea's busy in a meeting. She told me yesterday she would be, and Iris is in class right now. I can't call her."

"Why only me?"

"Who else is there to call? Maggie's at the shelter, and Sophia wouldn't go there. Carl and Patrick are in school, and she wouldn't go to Lori or Rick, so there was really nobody else."

"Not even Axel?"

"He's with his brother. And as fun and great he is, Sophia wouldn't turn to him, not like she would've turned to you."

"How about a friend?"

"Lizzie's home sick according to Ryan."

"Let's check Lizzie's. She might have gone to see her."

She pulled her phone from her purse and called Ryan's home phone. It just rang—and rang and rang. She sighed and didn't leave a message. If Lizzie was home, she would have picked up. Sophia was with her. They weren't at home though. Sophia would have told her to pick up the phone. They were out somewhere.

"No answer?"

"No, but Sophia's with Lizzie. They just aren't home."

"Any idea where would they go?"

"Not really. I'm not as close to Lizzie as I am to Iris. I don't know where she'd run to, or where she'd meet Sophia."

"Well think. Has anythin' happened to her lately? Somewhere that means a lot to her?"

She shrugged then remembered Lizzie's mother. Ryan and Carol had spoken about her the day of the accident. It was almost the exact date she died. "The cemetery. They might have gone there."

"And if not?"

"Then they might have gone somewhere to get food. Sophia would try to feed Lizzie, especially if she's in pain over her mother. It's the anniversary of her death tomorrow. I doubt they'd go out. Sophia wouldn't want someone to call me or Ryan, so they're either at home or at Lizzie's. Knowing Sophia, she probably took Lizzie back to our place."

"All right." He turned the truck around and drove back to Carol's place. "I'm sure they're okay."

"I know. Sophia...wouldn't do anything stupid."

"She's a good kid, got her head on straight. I bet she was just tryin' to help, be like you."

"Be like me?" Carol's brows rose. "What does that even mean?"

"Carol, you help people all the time. Do you not realize how good you are for people? All you gotta do most days is smile and just be kind. I know for me...that makes me whole day."

She flushed and smiled a little. "I didn't know that."

He cleared his throat, heat rising on his cheeks. "Uh, I was...wonderin'...somethin'."

"And what's that?" She peered at him.

"Just...wonderin' if you'd like to...bring Sophia by for spring break? Iris is comin' over with Patrick, and Sophia could come join us. Merle will be there, and he likes Sophia. He wants to get to know her, 'cause she's Iris' best friend." He didn't look at her, feeling ridiculous for saying this and not what he wanted to. "You can come too. I actually need your opinion on somethin'."

"I'd love to. I actually have some time off this spring break. Sophia and I were talking about going to see Karen and Ty again, but I don't know. I think it'd be nice for her to...be with family here. She'll definitely come by. She and Iris have to talk anyway, and she likes Merle."

"He's not a bad guy." He shifted. "What about you? You got other plans?"

"I'm behind on some things, and it'd be nice to have the house to myself for a change. I'll try to come before the week is over."

"What things do you have to do?"

"I have an entire list at home." She shook her head. "Would it be all right if Sophia brought Honey with her?"

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Thanks."

The rest of the way to Carol's house was filled with chitchat while Daryl tried to figure out what Carol needed to do alone in her house for almost an entire week. He thought maybe cleaning, but their house was always spotless, and when it wasn't, there were usually just a couple of jackets tossed around or left out cups. Maybe she was painting. That took time, and he did see her and Andrea looking over swatches. He figured that was for the baby's room. Maybe Carol saw something she liked. If that was the case, he could offer to help. Merle was gonna be with Iris and Patrick since he didn't know Patrick and hadn't tried to get to know him at all these past few months. And Iris would be busy trying to learn to use a bow, if Andrea decided it was all right. She was going to say no and then Merle was going to do it anyway. He would have to smooth things over again. He felt more like a middle child these days.

At Carol's, they found Sophia's car in the driveway and the girls upstairs in Sophia's bedroom. They were both asleep, so Carol and Daryl let them be. They cleaned up the mess the girls had made, and Carol offered him some coffee and breakfast for helping her.

"Bit late for breakfast." He nodded his chin to the clock.

"Then brunch?"

"Sounds real good, but I gotta get back."

"Right. Well, thank you for helping me. I really appreciate it."

"Anytime. She's like my own kid to me. That's...why I said "our" daughter. I didn't mean to...say it, but I feel like she's family. I look after family." He met her eyes. "And if you need my help to find her or get her somethin', just ask. Really, it's no trouble."

She smiled at him. "Okay. Thank you.""

"I'll see you tomorrow at work. Or are you comin' in later?"

"A little later today. I want to make sure the girls are okay."

"Do you want to get dinner later?" he blurted, and she looked a little surprised at him. "Not a date, just two friends grabbin' a bite to eat."

"I actually have plans for dinner. Not to eat, but...an appointment I shouldn't miss." His face fell, and she stepped a little closer. "But if you wouldn't mind waiting an hour, I'd really like to grab a bite to eat at, say, eight?"

"Yeah, that's fine." He gave a small smile. "Just call me and let me know where."

"I will." She walked him out. "Have a good day, Daryl."

"You too."

She closed the door behind him and listened as his truck started and pulled out, and she exhaled slowly, eyes closed. They had to start somewhere, and while he said it wasn't a date, he did mean it as a date. Either way it didn't matter. With them...whether or not it was stated to be a date or not be a date, it certainly wasn't two "friends" grabbing a bite to eat.

––

Sophia woke up when she smelled food being cooked. She shot up and crept down the hall, hearing her mom on the phone with someone. From the conversation it could only be Andrea, and she was asking about how to help Iris with something pregnancy related. Sophia had heard so much pregnancy talk her brain started to block it out.

Mom was home, and she knew Sophia was home. She had to know Lizzie was there too. She needed to explain so Mom didn't go off and upset Lizzie. It took a lot to get her back here, and she barely eat anything. Maybe Mom was cooking for them, and she knew or guessed what was wrong. Mom was good like that. She had to know it took a hell of a lot to keep Sophia from going to school, and she had to see...hear how Sophia was acting and talking to people. She was too short-tempered and exhausted all the time, and while she knew it was wrong to go off on Iris had as she had, Mom had to have heard that argument. She might actually take Sophia's side on this.

"Sophia, come down. I know you're on the stairs. Honey's watching you."

She looked at their dog who was watching her from the living room, completely giving her away, and she said a brief prayer before showing herself. "Hey, Mom."

"Hi."

"So...what's up? Why are you making grilled cheeses?"

"It's your lunch. Have a seat."

She took the plate from her mom and sat down at the table. "I know you're mad at me, but let me explain. Please."

"I'm not mad, but go ahead."

"Wait, you're not mad? Why aren't you mad?"

"Because I know my daughter, and I somewhat know Lizzie. It wasn't hard to guess what was wrong. And you have grass strains on your jeans."

She glanced down at her knees and smiled a little. "We went to the cemetery. Lizzie found out that her mom's accident was...intentional. She took her own life, and Lizzie's been struggling with it. I wanted to bring you with me to help her, but she wouldn't let me. I figured if I brought her home, you could talk to her."

"That was very kind of you, not letting her be alone in this." She smiled. "I'll talk to her when she comes down, but she really needs to talk to Ryan and possibly even get professional help. She was close to her mom, and this...won't just go away."

"I know. I just... I think it'd be best if she spoke with you first. She trusts you. She knows you won't judge her or say things about her behind her back."

"I will talk to her, Sophia."

She nodded. "Thank you."

"Eat your lunch." She hugged Sophia's shoulder and placed a kiss on the top of her head. "I'm proud of you for trying your best to help her."

"Thanks, Mom." She smiled up at her.

Lizzie stepped into the kitchen then, Sophia met her eyes with worry knotting in her stomach, but Lizzie seemed grateful, not betrayed. Carol took her into the living room and spoke to her while Sophia took Honey for a walk, and it was clear that this would be with Lizzie for a long time. Of course it would, and at least now they could begin to help her sooner. It was better than to let it grow and worsen.

– – –

"Are you dressed yet?" Andrea called from the other side of her daughter's door. "We have to get going. Your appointment's in a half an hour. We were supposed to leave twenty minutes ago."

"Sorry." She pulled the door open. "Shane and I were talking."

"Shane?"

"I had a question. About the "plan" you two came up with." She followed her mom downstairs and through the kitchen toward the car.

"Don't say it like that."

"What? It's kinda crappy."

"How is it crappy?"

"Because what if my water breaks and I'm not with you or Shane or Daryl or even Carol? I could be with Patrick, or So...somebody else."

"Then Patrick or other person will drive you to the hospital."

"And if I'm alone?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. You're only three months, we can make a new plan."

"Hey, could we have Carol over for dinner tonight?" Iris buckled herself in.

"She and Daryl have plans." If he ever worked up the courage to ask her. They had gone over it all last night when he was working on something wooden. Perhaps a rocking chair or changing table or hell, even a crib. Maybe all of those things. He also could have just been distracting himself from trying to ask Carol out. She hoped he did it.

"Oh. Well, good for them."

"Why do you want to invite Carol over for dinner?" She backed the car out.

"So I can ask her something."

"You can ask me anything, Iris. You know that."

"I know. And I would, but...you've never been pregnant, only read a million books on it, and I'm kinda...curious about some things." Her face was turning pink.

"Some things?" Andrea pressed.

"Yes, and I'd rather ask Carol about them than some male doctor."

"He isn't "some male doctor". He's our family doctor."

"He's still a guy. He's never experienced it firsthand, but Carol has. And I feel more comfortable talking to Carol about it. I have some pretty dumb questions anyway, and Carol won't answer them like I'm dumb and give me that look."

"What look?"

"That _Are you kidding me?/Grow up_ look he gives me all the time. He's kind of an asshole with his facial expressions."

Andrea chuckled. "I'll invite her over for dinner tomorrow night. You can just call her, you know."

"I know, but I'd rather talk to her face to face. Also if I ask her about her date with Daryl, I'll can see if she blushes or not."

"You told me you'd stay out of it, Iris."

"It's impossible to stay out when I'm the reason they're not together." She looked at her mom. "I want to make it right, and I know it wasn't all me, but that doesn't mean I can't show her that it's okay to be with him."

"Iris, you're just a kid. You have no power over their relationship or their feelings. We've been over this several times."

"Yes, I know. I just can't watch them make eyes at each other for another three months. It's going to make me heave, or lock them in a closet together."

"I—know what you mean actually." She chuckled once. "Shane and Rick have beats going."

"I know. I'm going to beat them and Axel. Sophia and I are working together, and I'm going to make them get back together. I may have to let Axel in with us, because there's no way I can do this myself."

"What? You're in on it too?"

"Duh. He's my dad, and it'd be really cool if Carol was my stepmother. Besides Carol _Dixon_ beats Carol _Peletier_ any day."

"You just want Sophia as your stepsister."

"That's also a bonus." She grinned wickedly.

"You are a bad seed."

"At least I'm not _the_ bad seed. I'm not killing people."

"You kill my patience."

"Well you knew that a possibility when you adopted me. It's my job as your child."

"You know, I hope this kid turns out exactly like you."

"Mom, you do know you'll be babysitting this kid, right?"

She reached over and flicked her forehead. "We'll see."

"Ow." She rubbed her forehead.

She laughed. "I barely touched you."

"You don't need to with those nails, Freddie Krueger."

"Well, you will never sleep again when this baby comes. And by the way, putting Carol in a closet is a bad idea. She doesn't like enclosed spaces."

"You just want to win the beat."

"I'm not beating against my friends, but if I were, I wouldn't want to lose. There's money at stake."

"Money you'll be paying me when you lose."

"Fine, we'll just see."

––

"You're making great progress," Denise assured Carol at the end of their session.

"That's good to know." She adjusted her purse. "I'll see you next week. Same time?"

She nodded. "Have a good date."

"It's not a date."

"Yes, but it's not _not_ a date."

Carol chuckled. "Good night."

"I know it's none of my business, but I think you're ready to tell him."

Carol didn't say anything, just looked at her with slightly narrowed eyes.

Denise smiled. "Good night."

She checked her watch and decided to call Daryl. She watched the sky and saw it was to storm soon by the clouds, and she strolled the parking lot, waiting for him to pick up.

" _Hello?_ "

"Hey, it's me."

" _You ready for dinner?_ "

"Uh-huh. How about instead of going out we stay in? I can pick up some food from the diner right around the corner from me, and we can avoid the rain that's coming."

" _That sounds good. Uh, Merle just left. He has plans with Iris tonight._ "

"Iris _and_ Andrea? Or just Iris?"

" _Just Iris. Andrea and Shane are on a date, and she's stayin' over with him._ "

"Will Merle stay the night? If not, Sophia will bunk with Iris as always."

" _I reckon he'll stay over_."

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

––

It took almost an hour and a half for Carol to get the food and get to Daryl's. He didn't mind. It gave him a chance to clean himself up. He had been working on a crib. Him and Merle both. It was a good way to save money, and it was something for the brothers to do together. They were already close, but they both had changed. They were adjusting to their new selves, and they were closer than ever. Merle was so different sober, and Daryl was so different due to the things that had happened to him. They fought over what Merle knew was best for Daryl, and while it was true and wasn't at all manipulative simply suggestion and concern, Daryl kept insisting Merle keep his damn nose out of it for weeks. Now with the baby on the way and Iris needing them all, the fights were pointless. Although Merle nudged here and there. Sometimes just to piss Daryl off for a laugh, and it worked.

The storm had come right after Carol arrived, and luckily Daryl had a lot of spare wood so they made a fire when the power went out—Merle was going to set up a backup generating at some point. They sat in front of the fire, the coffee table push against the wall, and they just talked and ate. Andrea had left a bottle of wine behind the last time they all had dinner. It was a peace offering for Merle, who told her he preferred whiskey, and she didn't take it back with her, so they cracked it open since their drink were so watered down.

"How's the crib coming?"

"Slow, but I still got six months."

"Andrea's already planning the baby shower," Carol told him. "A lot of her work friends are bringing gifts, and her family's coming down."

"Great. The whole Harrison family."

"It's a good thing, Daryl. They'll bring a lot of things for the baby."

"I know, but the shower's a woman thing only, so Andrea's dad will want to spend time with me. And Merle."

"You're family now. I had to deal with Ed's mother. I used to dream about her getting hit by a car."

"Really?"

"Or that she'd choke on her food."

He snorted. "Is she still alive?"

"I don't know. After Bear... Well, I made sure to keep her out of our lives. I wouldn't have her around my daughter. She's like Ruth. And while Ed's father was an asshole, she was just as bad."

"That part of your life's over."

"I know." She was smiling at him. "And I'm fine to talk about it. You're the one who looks uncomfortable."

"It's stupid, but it pisses me off. I wish I coulda done somethin' to help y'all."

"You didn't know us."

"I wish I did."

She set her hand over his. "Everything works out the way it's supposed to, Daryl. I told you that once before, and you helped us when it counted. I owe you everything."

"No, no, you got that backwards." He locked eyes with her. "I owe you everythin'. Without you and Sophia, I would've never gotten my daughter back. Or my brother. It'd just be me in this house alone for the rest of my life."

She smiled. "That was Sophia. Without her...God only knows how different our lives would be. She is the only good thing Ed ever gave me." He smiled at her, and she began to blush. "What?"

"I...I'm glad you came over tonight."

"Me too. I've missed spending time with you, just the two of us." She laced her fingers through his. She started to say more but decided against it. She removed her hand and rose, pouring the rest of her wine down the drain. She inhaled and knew he was watching, but he couldn't see much in the darkness. She shook her head and rejoined him. "I've had enough to drink tonight, and I have to drive so no more wine for me."

"You can stay the night. It sounds pretty bad out there."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Better than a tree or worse fallin' on your car."

"Where will I sleep?" She patted the couch. "I think Merle has worn this seat into being comfortable."

"You can have my bed."

"No, I can't do that."

"It's fine. Couch ain't bad." He didn't want to sleep in Merle's bed. Mostly because his room was a pigsty, and he'd break his neck trying to find his bed in the dark. And he wanted Merle to have his privacy.

"We can both sleep in your bed," she suggested. "And don't get any ideas. It'll be warmer that way, and if Merle comes back, he can sleep in his own room."

His mouth went dry. "B—both of us? In my bed?"

"Scared I bite?" She looked entirely wicked in this lightening with that teasing smirk.

He scoffed.

"I'll take that as a yes."

They cleaned up their mess from dinner, the fire began to die as they did so, and Daryl guided her to his bedroom. He had a spare lighter on his nightstand but no candles. He knew his house well so he didn't run into a wall more than once. Carol removed her shoes and shirt, leaving her in her jeans and a tank top, and Daryl felt around for an extra pillow for her.

"Daryl?"

"Yeah?"

"Remind me to buy you candles."

"I think we managed all right."

A single laugh escaped through her lips. "You ran into a wall and nearly tripped, and with all the wood and nails and tools you have lying around here, we're lucky neither of us got hurt."

"I see your point."

She sat down on the bed. "We could have used the flashlights on our phones."

He chuckled. "Yes, yes we could have."

Once the laughter subsided, they lied down, and he couldn't sleep. He could feel her warmth against his the skin of his arm, and it reminded him just how close they were to one another. He listened to her breathing; it was an even lullaby, and he wondered if she was asleep yet. He rolled his head to the left as she shifted on the bed, her back now to him. He saw those silvery scars on her back even in the dark. He could see them even when she wasn't around. Maybe one day it wouldn't bother him so much. Maybe he'd finally stop thinking about telling her and just tell her the damn truth.

"Carol?"

She turned. "Mmm?"

"...you got enough room?"

"Yeah." She faced him now. "Do you?"

He nodded then realized she couldn't see him and said, "Yeah."

"Do I make you anxious?"

"A little."

"You make me anxious too," she whispered. "Think we'll ever get over that?"

"Maybe."

"It was different the last time we shared a bed."

"We both just fell asleep," he pointed out.

"That's true." She was quite for a moment. "Daryl, I want to talk about that kiss."

"After all this time?"

"It's only been three months."

"Still been a while, and you said it was for luck."

"It was, but there's more to it than that. I—"

"I don't mean to be rude, but I have a busy day tomorrow, so why don't we just get some sleep? I'm pretty beat myself."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to keep you up."

"No, it's all right, just...uh, good night."

"Good night."

They moved onto their sides so that their backs were facing each other, and Daryl wanted to bang his forehead against the nightstand, and Carol tried to get some sleep, understanding why he didn't want to talk about this yet. She wasn't sure herself, so she couldn't expect him to be sure either. Next time, maybe.

– – –

Iris came home after her date thing with Patrick and his aunt and found her mom and Shane in the living room, going over something that looked like a list over drinks. It was the hard stuff too. Iris and Sophia had taste tested some of it last summer with Lizzie, and it was the worst. They were so freaked that Mom was going to walk in. She would have executed them.

"Hey, family." She sat down with them. "What's this?"

"Grocery list." She wrote down granola.

"Who the hell eats protein bars?" Iris peered at the list then held her hands up. "I draw the line there. I am not eating protein bars. I wouldn't for track, and I won't for you. You'll have to kill me. Or hold me down and force it down my throat, but that's a bit much."

"They're mine," Shane assured her.

"Why are your protein bars on our shopping list?"

They exchanged glances, and Iris narrowed her eyes.

"Is there something you want to tell me?"

"Well, Shane and I were talking," Andrea started, "about how a lot of his stuff is here and mine is at his place, and we thought that maybe it's time for...the next step."

"Sleeping in hotel rooms so you both leave with the proper stuff and free soap?"

"No, Iris." Shane grasped Andrea's hand. "Shane's going to move in with us."

"What?" Iris whispered.

Andrea bit her bottom lip. "It's seems like a good idea at this point. Are you okay with that?"

"Am I okay with it? Am I okay with it?!" She shot up. "You didn't even talk about it with me! You just decided he was going to move in and I just have to deal with it! How am I supposed to be okay with that?"

"Iris, calm down and lower your voice."

"No, I won't just calm down. I'm happy you guys are happy and serious and all, but no, I'm not okay with this." She shouldered her purse and left the kitchen.

"That wasn't the reaction I thought we'd get," Shane admitted.

"'Cause it's not." Iris hugged him from behind. "I love it. Welcome home."

Andrea laughed. "You little asshole."

"I'm already pregnant, how many more chances do I get to create drama?"

"You scared me, Iris. I thought you were really upset!" She smacked her leg with the notepad.

"I'm a little peeved you didn't have that talk with me, but I'm already over it. I mean, this is great for you guys." She hugged her mom. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you."

"Isn't it a little soon though?" Iris met Shane's eyes. "You guys haven't been dating that long."

"It doesn't feel that way. We've known each other for years, and it feels right. When you're older and a less pregnant," Andrea told her, "you'll understand what I mean."

"If Patrick doesn't try to marry you," Shane added.

"I think I'd punch him if he tried to propose to me just because I'm pregnant and it's his kid." She rolled her eyes in disgust at the idea. "To me, marriage should happen because you're in love and want to show the world just how in love you are. That's just me."

"Me too." Andrea smiled. "Why don't you help us with the grocery list?"

"Sure, could you get me chocolate milk and cookies?"

"No."

"Fine, but if you two decide to get married, please talk about that with me."

"I'll ask for your blessin'," Shane promised.

"Good, because you haven't earn it yet."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously." She got a drink from the kitchen. "You have to prove to me you're worthy of my mother."

"That's good to know."

"So," Andrea changed the subject, "how was your night with Patrick and Anna?"

"It was weird. She kept staring at my stomach, like she didn't believe I was pregnant until now." She shrugged a shoulder. "She bought this really cute blanket for the baby though. Patrick has it since I'm untrustworthy." Shane looked confused. "I spilled grape juice all over the other blanket."

"Ah, then that's a good idea." He picked up his glass.

Andrea ran a hand through her hair. "Do you want me to get you some pears?"

"Is this one of those questions where I say no but you get them anyway?"

"No."

"Then God no. I hate pears."

"Do Patrick's parents know you're pregnant?" Shane inquired, taking a drink from his glass.

"No. I don't want them to know, and he's too scared to tell him. What else can they do to him though? Legally disown him?"

"I wouldn't put it past them."

"Me neither." She licked her bottom lip. "When are you moving in? Over the course of this week? Or spring break?"

"This weekend. Rick and a few guys from the station are gonna give me a hand. I don't have a lot of stuff, so it won't take long."

"I can't help."

"Why not?"

"I have to talk to Sophia this weekend. We...had a really bad fight, and I need to talk to her. I feel awful, and I'm worried about her. She's been hiding things from me, and I know that doesn't sound important to you, but she's important to me. I'm sorry." She then pointed to her mom. "And she won't let me do any heavy lifting."

"That's true." Andrea nodded. "But I can get Amy to help. And maybe Merle. I'm not sure I want him around my sister though."

"Mom," Iris started.

"Don't. I don't want to hear it again. Merle is different with you, because you're family. I am not, and we butt heads a lot."

"That doesn't make him a bad guy."

"It makes him an ass on several occasions." She held a finger up to keep Iris from retorting. "I don't want to have this fight again, so go get ready for bed. It's late."

"Fine, but you're wrong about him."

"Good night."

"Night." She gave a small smile to Shane before leaving the room.

"Do you always have make a jab whenever you mention Merle?" Shane asked.

"Me?" Andrea's brows shot up. "I make jabs? Shane, you do it worse than I do."

"Not in front of Iris."

"I can't help it. He is an ass to me."

"Try, for Iris' sake."

"We'll see."

"I should go. It is pretty late." He kissed her. "Good night."

"I'll see you tomorrow." She smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too." He kissed her once more then slipped into his coat and out the front door.

She set her pen down and leaned back on the couch, exhaling deeply, eyes shut. She wasn't too worried about the bills anymore, and she was happy that Iris was okay with Shane moving in with them. She would have to talk to Daryl about it, but he and Shane got along well enough. It's not like he can say no. It wasn't his decision, and it wasn't as though he'll demand Iris moves in with him and Merle. She wouldn't, and Andrea wouldn't let her. Daryl wouldn't start a fight. This was a good thing for all of them. Besides eventually he would be in a serious relationship, and Andrea would just be happy for him. He'll be happy for them too.

– – –

Andrea knocked on Daryl's door early the next morning to talk about Shane before she went to work, and it was Carol who opened the door. She was surprised and oddly delighted at the sight of Carol. She was still waking up, and honestly it wasn't fair how her hair always looked so good.

"Carol, I wasn't expecting you to be here. Are you and Daryl—?"

"No, no, we're not. I just stayed over. The storm was pretty bad."

"Yeah, he has a tree in his driveway."

"Really? Can I get out?"

"No, but I can give you a ride home. Use Sophia's car until they get it cleared."

"Thanks. I'll get my things. And send Daryl out here. Clearly it's him you came for."

"Yeah. I need to talk to him. Uh, Shane and I are moving in together."

"That's amazing news." She hugged her. "Congratulations."

"Thanks." She smiled. "I have a favor I'd really appreciate you doing."

"Anything."

"Well, Iris doesn't want to go to birth classes. She's being really stubborn about it, and I don't want to push her, so I was hoping you'd help her with it."

"Oh."

"You're the only person I know who isn't my mother who's had a child. And Iris trusts you, and you live so close by."

"Sure. That's fine. I'd love to help."

"Thank you. I'll make you dinner tomorrow night as payment."

"You don't have to."

"I want to."

Daryl heard talking and went to see who was at the door. He stood behind Carol and peered at Andrea, wondering what she was doing here at this hour. "Can I help you?"

"Yes, you can."

"I'm going to get my things." Carol excused herself.

"What is it?" He rubbed his eye. "Is Iris all right?"

"She's fine, but I wanted to let you know that Shane is moving in with us."

"He is?" She nodded. "How does Iris feel about it?"

"She approves." She laced her fingers together. "And since we're talking about Iris, as you know I don't want her traveling this spring break, so my parents are coming down."

"Andrea, they've been "coming down" for months."

"Work gets in the way, but not this time. They're actually going to make it." She met his eyes. "We're all going out to eat when they arrive, and that means you're coming. You can bring a date, but...you don't have one, so you can bring Merle."

"Merle won't come."

"Just ask. I don't want him there, but we're all family through Iris. I don't want them to meet in the hospital when Iris gives birth, so please try."

"I'll try."

"Thank you. So, how do you feel about Shane moving in with me and Iris?"

"Doesn't matter how I feel. I mean, y'all are happy, and as long as Iris is happy, I'm fine with it."

"Okay."

"But thanks for lettin' me know."

"Of course."

Carol joined them. "I'm going to catch a ride with Andrea. There's a tree down in your driveway, so I'll be back for my car later."

"Oh, do you need a ride?" Andrea offered Daryl.

"No. I'll deal with the tree."

"All right then. I'll see you at the car. Bye." Andrea began her walk back to her car.

"Thank you for letting me stay the night." Carol smiled. "Maybe next time will go better."

"Yeah, you're welcome." He met her eyes. "Next time?"

She smiled wider. "Yeah. I'll see you at work." She turned and caught up to Andrea.

He smiled a little. Next time. All right. Next time he would be more prepared.

– – –

"Sophia," Carol stuck her into the room, "you have a visitor."

"I do? Who?" She wasn't expecting anybody.

"Me, if you'll have me." Iris entered. "Hey."

"Oh." She nodded to her mom, and she left. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to show you my sonogram." She climbed onto the bed. "You are the godmother after all."

"I thought my mom was."

"My mom thinks Carol is, but I chose you." She pulled the sonogram out of her purse and held it out. "I showed it to Daryl, and he got a little teary-eyed on me. Uncle Merle swears it'll be a boy. Daryl said he said the same thing about me."

"You're not carrying low," was all Sophia said.

"So, you're beating girl too? So is Mom. And Aunt Amy."

She handed the sonogram back. "Thanks for showing me."

"Please talk to me." She didn't take it. "What the hell happened the other night? I just want to know what I did wrong so I make it right. I hate when you're mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you, Iris. I'm mad at myself."

"Why?"

"Because it was wrong of me to take my anger out on you. I know better, and I still went off on it. I'm sorry."

"What's been going on with you?"

"Just a lotta stuff."

"Like you and Carl breaking up?" She nodded. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You have baby stuff going on, and I didn't want to involve you."

"That's bullshit. You need to tell me stuff like that, pregnant or not. You're my best friend, so tell me what happened? Why did he break up with you?"

"There's a new girl in school. Her name's Enid. He likes her, a lot more than he liked me, and I could see it."

"Wait a minute. Please don't tell me you broke up with him, because you think he likes this girl more than you?"

She nodded. "I can't make everybody miserable."

"You're not making anybody miserable. Why would you ever think that?"

"Forget it." She shrugged her shoulders.

"No, I won't forget it. Sophia, you're not causing anybody misery, just yourself. And just because _you think_ Carl likes this Enid doesn't mean that he does. It sounds like all you're trying to do is isolate yourself. Why are you doing that?"

"I'm not trying to isolate myself."

"You're literally two steps from wearing all black and getting your nose pierced."

"It's not about me, Iris. It's about...making sure I can be there."

"Be where? And for who?"

"You'd know if you weren't living in Iris Land where everything is about how you destroyed a relationship, make things harder on your mother and never let anything go."

She swallowed. "I know I don't let things go. I know that I'd like to think it was me who broke up Daryl and Carol, because if I can somehow prove to them I'm all right or whatever they want me to be, they'll get back together. I wanted them to be happy and together, and now that things are settling, they're not together, but...they are happy. I'm scared they might never get back together, but if I blame it all on me...there's a chance it can get better if I do better. I already put my parents through hell, and I'd like them to be happy. Mom has Shane, but who does Daryl have? Nobody, not...not like Carol was to him."

"Iris, my mom and Daryl will find their way back to each other or they won't. You and me aren't putting good or bad pressure on them at this point. They might not even want to start things back up, for all we know. And we can't force them to."

"I know that. It's just easier to lie to myself."

"Yes. Yes, it is." She ran a hand through her hair. "Lizzie's gone through a lot these last couple weeks. Her mother's dead was intentional, and she just found that out. Mom and Ryan are trying to set her up with a therapist. And I just want to be there for her."

"And by breaking up with Carl, you'll always have time to drop everything and zip over there?"

"No. This isn't about Carl. I just want her to know she's not alone. I nearly lost my mother every day for ten years, and I thank God every single day for giving her the strength to stay with me. I can imagine what Lizzie's going through, and I won't let her think for even a second that she's alone."

Iris averted her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"And what happened with me and Carl isn't your business."

"Something happened?"

"No, I just—"

"Did he cheat on you?"

"No! He wouldn't do that. It's my problem, all right? Let's just drop it."

"No, what problem is it?" Iris met her eyes. "Sophia."

"It's...the last date we had." She shook her head. "It was awkward."

"Why awkward? Trust me, I know all about awkward."

"It had been four months since we started dating, so we went out to eat and then we went to his house. Lori and Rick were out with Judith..." she trailed off.

Iris scooted closer. "Did something happen between you two?"

"No, nothing." She shook her head. "It shouldn't be that awkward between a couple, so maybe Enid is better for him."

"I doubt that's true."

"They have more in common than Carl and I do."

"Opposite attract."

"Sometimes people can be too opposite." She gave a bitter and mostly sad smirk. "I have homework and a test tomorrow so you should head home."

"All right, but I'm not going to stop bugging you."

"That's nothing new." She picked up her book. "I'll see you later."

"Are we okay?" Iris whispered by the door.

"We're okay." She smiled.

Iris returned it. "Hey, wait, what were those rumors about?"

"Lizzie. One of Molly's friends started saying things about her and her mother."

"Do they just take a handful of girls and suck their souls out at birth, or what?" Sophia laughed. "I swear the whole "mean girls" this is ridiculous. I hope karma kicks their ass."

"Ditto."

"Well, Shane's making dinner tonight, so I should go. I'll see you at school."

"Yeah."

Iris headed out, and Sophia let out a long sigh. She gazed down at her notes and sighed, seeing the little notes Carl had written on the margin. She closed her notepad and slipped out of bed, going to her mom's room. She knocked on the frame, and Carol waved her in.

"You busy?"

"No." She set aside a folder. "What's on your mind?"

"I need to talk to you. It's...important."

"I can see that. What is it?"

"Don't be mad." She bit her lip.

"Okay."

"You remember when Carl came to take me out, right?"

"Yeah, your four months of dating date." Carol smiled.

"Well, I didn't tell you, but I broke up with him."

"Why would I be mad at that? Unless he hurt you."

"No, nothing like that." She sat down on the bed. "I'm scared...there's something wrong with me."

"Honey, there's nothing wrong with you."

She averted her eyes as they burned with tears. "That part you might be angry about is the part where Carl and I went back to his house. We were alone."

Carol shifted. "Did you two—?" She shook her head before Carol could finish. "Did something happen?"

She nodded, her nose tingled and her tears threatened to spill over. "Yeah."

"Tell me what happened, Sophia."

"I don't know really. We...we were just kissing and it dawned on me that we were completely alone. He didn't do anything, just touched my hip, and I got really scared. I freaked out and ran out of the house." She looked at her mom now. "I came home. You had dinner plans with Andrea and Shane that night."

"Freaked out how?"

"I felt like I couldn't breathe. Like the entire room was shrinking, and it was going to crush us." She shrugged a shoulder, tears falling free. "I don't know why either. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"That's nothing wrong with you, Sophia. You were just nervous."

"Most people don't run away when they're nervous."

"Some people do. I do."

"What?"

"You're worried about the consequences of sex. It's not that surprising given that you're best friend is pregnant. And it changes things in a relationship. It's very intimate, and you give a piece of yourself to that person. It's never just sex."

"So I don't really love Carl enough to take the next step?"

"I can't answer that, honey. Only you can."

"Do you love Daryl enough?"

Carol smiled. "I do, but there are things we both need to come to terms with and work through. I'm trying."

"Are you okay? I mean, with the things you need to come to terms with?"

"I'm getting there. It's been challenging, but it's better to work through it than to just let it be."

"I'm proud of you, Mom." She smiled.

"Thank you. I'm proud of you too, baby." She embraced her. "And trust me you'll know what the time is right."

She nodded. "I have a test tomorrow. Will you drill me on it in an hour?"

"Of course."

"Thanks."

– – –

"So, what exactly does she want to talk to me about?" Carol gripped the phone with her elbow, looking through the paperwork drowning on Maggie's desk. "Well, what should I expect? You didn't really tell me before either."

"I don't know. She's read some strange things and wants to know if any of them are real. Just keep your mind open. She wanted to have dinner, but Sophia came by and they went out to study with Lizzie and Patrick. They're going to eat out too. She asked for money for food. I'll just let her handle it."

"That's fine, just let me know what she wants to pick my brain."

"I will."

"What?" Carol could feel her hesitation. "Andrea, what is it?"

"About you and Daryl—"

"Not this again. Andrea, please."

"I'm only asking because it was very...obvious _something_ happened the other night with you two."

"Andrea, just stay out of it. I'm busy with other things, and I don't want to have this conversation. Not with you and certainly not over the phone."

"I'm still your friend. I'm not just the second half of Iris' parents."

"I know, and we can discuss this at a later date. Right now I need to find Maggie's calender. It's buried under about a million slips of paper."

"I'll let you go. I have to help unpack anyway. Well, pack."

"You're getting rid of your stuff?"

"Yeah, we need to make room for Shane and the baby, so we're going to have a garage sale and give some to Goodwill. If you want to help out, it's going to be this weekend and next weekend. Sophia and Daryl are going to help."

"I'll let you know. Have fun."

"Yeah, about as much fun as you."

She laughed. "I'll see you later. Bye." She hung up and saw the edge of the calendar. She pulled it out and looked over what she had to do for the next couple of weeks. She wrote down Iris' due date, something she had forgotten to do. She also added a reminder for Maggie's dentist appointment that she often forgot about. Hershel had called to ensure Carol reminded her.

"Snoopin'?"

She looked up and a smile crossed her lips. "No, I'm doing my job. What brings you here, Merle?"

"You."

"Oh really? What do you want with me?"

"To have a chat...over dinner."

She straightened. "You want to talk to me over dinner?"

"It's not a date. I promise." He held his hands up in a gesture of peace, a boyish grin on his lips. "I'll be on my best behavior. You have my word."

She thought about it. "All right. I have a phone call to make, but yeah, I'd like to have dinner with you." She was curious to see what he had to say.

He nodded. "I'll be outside."

She finished in Maggie's office and left a note for her to clean her desk up then called Stella to check in on her. It was a quick phone call, because she had a flight to catch. She was going on a trip with her kids, one she had been longing to take for years but only now had the freedom and money to do so. Carol was so proud of her and her progress. She was thrilled for her. She had to call Jessie next week to check in on her. Well, it wasn't something she had to do—she wanted to do it. She liked to check in on her girls, make sure they were doing well. She was lucky most of them were, and the ones that weren't soon would be.

Flicking the light off on her way out, Carol joined Merle outside, and she laughed when he suggested they take his motorcycle. He was being serious, holding out a helmet for her, but she refused. She didn't mind taking risks, but she wouldn't make him take a risk, not one like this.

"Two helmets or nothing," she said.

"Fine, fine. We'll do it your way."

"So, where to?"

"I know a place."

"That's not shady at all."

He chuckled. "You'll like it. As long as you're not a vegetarian."

"No, I'm not."

"Then you'll like it."

As they crossed to Carol's car, they caught the peripheral vision of Daryl who was working with Axel to write up an estimate for new pipes. He glanced up then did a double take as Merle opened the car door for Carol, making her laugh at something he said. He narrowed his eyes and wondered what Merle was playing at. What the hell were they doing together? And why didn't he lie Daryl about it? Merle was supposed to be at work all night. Christ, what the hell was that busybody going to do?


	20. Somewhere Only We Know

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

Carol was impressed when they arrived at an actual restaurant with forks and knives and tablecloths. It wasn't too fancy, but it was pretty nice for a Dixon. So far she was enjoying herself, and Merle was good company. She wasn't sure what he was playing at, but she almost had it figured out. He was a good guy with strange and pushy methods.

"How was your day?" Merle asked, almost jokingly as he drank club soda.

"It's been very long, and I'm a little tired. I'm glad you invited me out. I don't think we've ever spoken just the two of us, and it's...refreshing."

He smirked in the corner of his mouth. "How's therapy going?"

She blinked, taken aback, and she narrowed her eyes. "What?"

"Therapy, with Denise Cloyd. How's it going?"

"What makes you think I'm in therapy with Denise Cloyd?"

"'Cause I'm her nine o' clock." He set his glass down, slightly disgusted with its contents. "A recovering alcoholic/drug addict has to talk to somebody."

She inhaled. "You were there the other night?"

"Yeah, plus I saw your name on a file weeks ago."

She chuckled softly. "I'd rather not talk about my sessions. They're private."

"Mine too. I only asked to see if it was helpin' you."

"Yes."

"Me too. She's good, easy to open up to." He set his hands on the table. "She's gotten more out of me than most."

"What's your story, Merle?"

"For me, myself and Denise, but nice try."

"Okay, what are we going to talk about through dinner? We're barely through bread basket, and you know something I haven't told anybody."

"I got plenty of stories that ain't related to my drinking. Or drug use."

"Well, I can't wait to hear them." She smiled.

He returned it and gave his club soda another try.

––

"My eyes are so dry from that library." Sophia rubbed her eye and sighed. "Ugh."

"I have eye drops," Patrick commented. "Just let me know if you need them."

"That's sweet, but I hate eye drops. I'd kick your face in before I actually got it in my eye. I've been that way since I was little."

"Me too." Lizzie opened a bag of chips. "Mika just takes it, but I can't. They have to hold me down. You should have seen them trying to hold me down when I was a kid. It was so bad."

"I don't like them, but I'm used to it." He adjusted his glasses and looked over at Iris, who had been quiet for most of the evening. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, just thinking." She smiled for him. "I have a lot of makeup work so don't worry about me."

"We can do that when we're done eating," Lizzie offered. "I...I like to do work. It keeps me busy."

Sophia gave her a reassuring smile. "Yeah, we'll help you out."

"Thanks." Iris nibbled on her sandwich.

"Hey guys."

Sophia lifted her head at the sound of Carl's voice, and she couldn't swallow when she saw Enid behind him. She averted her eyes and pulled out her phone to text her mom. She was supposed to half an hour ago, but she was distracted. Now she needed to distract herself.

"What brings you two here?" Iris glanced from Carl to Enid.

"Makeup work." Enid stepped toward the table. "Carl was helping me with the English. I have to get caught up on Macbeth, and I get really distracted, because I'm not that much of a Shakespeare person. He's keeping me focused." She nudged him with her elbow. "I'm going to get something to eat."

"Why don't you join us?" Patrick asked, unaware of the tension.

"That'd be nice."

"We'll go grab some food." Carl rubbed his hands together. "Then squeeze in."

Iris smacked his arm when they walked away, and he softly cried out. "What was that for?"

She thrust her hand toward Sophia. "Are you tension dead or what?"

"I'm sorry. He's my best friend. Besides Enid's new. She doesn't have many friends. I was being nice."

"Iris, it's fine." She set her phone on the table. "I'm okay with it."

"With what?" Carl brought over two chairs from a different table.

"Prom," Iris blurted. "Lizzie and Sophia are going together, you know as friends."

"We're not going to prom," Sophia corrected. "We'll be eating cookie dough and watching _Carrie_ though. The old one, not the new one. I like older movies."

Lizzie smiled behind her drink of soda.

"You should come. It won't totally suck this year." He sat down by Iris, meaning Enid would sit by Sophia. "I mean, I know Molly's on the prom committee, and we have first together. Her plans aren't half bad, and if they are we can just leave. Uh, all of us can just leave."

"I don't feel getting dolled up." She shrugged a shoulder. "Besides I have to help Hershel out."

"With the animals?" Carl looked disbelieving.

"Yes, with the animals."

"Could I help?" Lizzie peered at her. "I love animals, and it'd be nice to be around them, even if they bark."

"Yeah. He'd love to have an extra hand."

Enid returned with both her and Carl's subs. Carl thanked her and stayed by Iris, and she gave Sophia a smile as she sat down. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Prom." Sophia moved her phone so Enid would have enough space.

"You're all going?" She ate a piece of chicken that fell from her sub.

"No."

"My plans are to break into Patrick's home and use his pool," Iris announced. "You're all free to join me."

"You're breaking into your boyfriend's house?" Enid's eyes closed to slits in confusion.

"It's a long story."

"My parents disowned me when I wouldn't move to Arizona, and they hate Iris, so she's not allowed in their house," Patrick confessed. "It's not so long."

"They haven't sold it yet?" Sophia muttered.

"Nope."

"Oof, that's rough." Enid ran a hand through her hair. "Do they know she's pregnant?"

"No. They'd murder me and disown me even more then try and pay Iris off."

"Wait, they'd try and pay me off? Seriously?" Iris tilted her head. "How much money do you have?"

"It's not mine. It's theirs." He held his hands up. "They just liked it better when I was the only one who could claim their money. Now my son can."

"Your son?" Iris smiled. "We don't know the sex yet."

"He thinks if he says it enough," Lizzie informed her, "it'll grow parts."

"I do not."

"We should break in and have a pool party," Enid suggested. "It would be fun."

"Yes, let's do it." Iris beamed. "C'mon, it'd great. And his pool is huge. We can invite people or let it just be us."

"Guys," Patrick moaned, "no."

"Come on, Patty." Carl held his hands together in a plea. "Let us break into your home and put you deeper shit with your parents. Please."

"We can't. I can't." He shook his head.

"Yes, we can." Lizzie joined in. "I think it'd be fun, and I could use some fun right now. Mika too, so please."

He groaned. "Fine, but you'd all better clean up your mess. And it's only going to us and Mika."

"I'll bring the snacks." Enid crossed her legs. "Do you guys have any dip allergies?"

"No." Sophia poked at her sub. "I'll bring drinks."

"I've got music." Lizzie helped herself to one of Sophia's chips since she wasn't eating, and they always shared food. "When will it be?"

"The last night of spring break," Patrick decided. "And I'll bring cups and plates."

"I think he's wanted to do this all along and just tricked us into pressuring him," Carl joked.

"Yes, I've always want to piss my parents off by trashing their unsold house."

"You have a lot of anger inside, you just don't know it yet."

Sophia's phone buzzed, and she checked it, seeing it was her mom calling them. "Guys, hush for a sec." She answered it. "Mom?"

" _Yeah. How are things going?_ "

"Good. We're eating now, but we're heading back to the library for another hour."

" _Who's we?_ "

She held her phone out. "Say hi."

"Hi, Carol," they spoke in unison.

"It's the gang." She stood up and excused herself from the table.

"How long have you guys known each other?" Enid swallowed a bite of her sub. "You all seem pretty close."

"We've known each other since...sixth grade?" Iris asked Patrick since he knew everything, and he nodded. "We all just got closer in high school. Patrick's a senior though."

She nodded. "It must be nice."

"It is." Lizzie looked at her friends. "I'm going to get come cookies. Anybody want?"

"Oh my god, yes." Iris went with her.

"I'm going to get a refill." Carl picked up his cup and Sophia's.

"How do you know what she's drinking?" Enid moved hair behind her ear.

"I know Sophia. She only likes lemon-lime drinks. At least with subs."

Patrick gathered Lizzie and Iris' cups to refill them, and they left Enid alone at the table.

Sophia slid back into her seat and blinked at the empty table. "Wow, we sure can clear a table, huh?"

She laughed. "I know. One of my many talents. I'm also really good with turtles."

"Ehh, turtles don't like me, but most other animals do." Sophia laced her fingers together. "How do you like school so far?"

"It's rough. That gang of girls make it impossible to sit alone. Or at least enjoy sitting alone."

"What lunch do you have?"

"Same as you guys. I just...go to the library and eat my lunch after school while I wait for my dad to pick me up."

"Enid, you can eat with us."

"Carl suggested it too, but I don't want to intrude."

"Please do. We can continue to overpower the boys."

She smiled. "Okay."

"And if you need help with Macbeth, let me know. I take the best notes."

"Could we join you? I mean, all of our stuff's in Carl's car, and I heard you were going back to the library."

"Yeah, sure. Patrick's better at it than I am, but I'll do my best."

"Thank you."

"What is it?" Sophia noted the look on her face.

"It's just...been a long time since I've made any friends. I move around a lot, and not everybody is accepting of the new girl." She shrugged. "And when I heard you broke up with Carl, I thought it was 'cause of me. We're just friends, Sophia. He's been showing me around and helping me find my classes. That's all. I swear."

"It wasn't about you. I promise."

"It wasn't?"

"No."

"Okay. I...I've been trying to apologize to you, because I thought it was me. I'm glad it's not, because you seem really nice, and I'd like to be friends."

"No, no. Don't apologize. It's okay, really. And...I'd like to be friends too."

Her smile grew. "So about the pool party..."

"What is it?"

"I don't have a swimsuit."

"We can go together and buy some. Lizzie needs one, and so do I. Iris too. She's not too pregnant yet, but she's gotten really self-conscious of her body, so we can all go together."

"Go where together?" Carl set her drink down and sat.

"To the mall to get swimsuits."

"Can I come too? I can help you out."

"No, prev." Enid tossed a bell pepper at him, and it stuck in his hair.

"We'll manage." Sophia reached over and picked it out of his bangs, handing him a napkin. "But you're so cute."

He made a face. "Thanks."

They laughed. Iris, Lizzie and Patrick returned with the rest of the drinks and cookies. Iris began to come up with plans for the party, and they all listened, giving their opinions, and Patrick began to stress about everything they agreed out. They were mostly teasing him, and he knew that, but he was worried they might actually go through with it. They were his best friends, but they could be assholes, and they would do it just to get a reaction out of him. It would probably only get worse as they got older.

After throwing all of the wrappers and getting refills, they headed back to the library together. They had a lot to do in short amount of time, but they would manage. They always did.

– – –

"Why do you love him?" Merle asked on the walk back to her car.

"Love who? Your brother?"

"Yeah."

She smiled and shrugged. "Do you really want to know?"

"I do. I ain't always gonna be around, and I want to make sure that whoever's with him...is there for the right reasons. I trust you, but I just wanna make sure."

"You're not planning on leaving again, are you?"

"No, I am not."

"And you're not sick?"

"No, I'm just lookin' out for my brother."

"Why do I love him? Hmm. There are a lot of reasons." She was smiling, feeling warm and a little drunk on the wine she'd had with dinner. "How good he is with Sophia and Iris. How he always finds a way to help me, even if he's busy. He has a kind heart. The way he looks at me when I thinks I'm not looking. How strong he is, although he doesn't know it. He may not even want to know it."

Merle set an arm around her shoulders to guide her out of the road and back toward her car. "Go on."

"I love that he taught me how to fight my husband, how he stood up against him for me. I love that he buried Bear and helped me through that loss. I love that he feels so much, but I hate how he hides it. I hate how much he holds back. I hate how scared he is sometimes. I hate how scared _I_ am sometimes too, and how much I hold back."

"Why don't you talk to him about that?"

"Why? I don't want to...pressure him, and it's too late. I need to get home."

"You're not drivin' though."

"I'm not sure I trust you enough to give you the keys to my car."

"I already got 'em." He shook them in front of her face. "A little trick I learned years ago."

"Merle." She reached for them, but he pulled back. "Please be careful. This is the only car I have."

"Sophia's, and I will be."

She leaned against the car, hand on Merle's shoulder, and she closed her eyes.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." She cleared her throat and straightened. "Take me home, please."

"All right."

He helped her into the car and walked around to the driver's side. He drove her home and called Sophia to see when she would be come. He left her on her side and started to leave when Daryl came inside. He wasn't all that shocked, and honestly it was more amusing than anything. Did Daryl wait here all night just to ask him what was going on?

"What brings you by, baby brother?" Merle stuffed his hands into his pocket.

"I know you took Carol out. I saw y'all leave the shelter."

"I thought you might." He smirked. "Don't worry. She's in the same condition she was when we left. Well, almost."

"What does that mean?"

"She's drunk. She's in her bed, but I left her a bucket and propped her on her side with pillows. I know the drill."

"What'd you take her out to begin with, Merle? What are you doin'?"

"I wanted to get to know her, see what made her so damn hard to get over."

"Stay out of it. It doesn't involve you."

"It does involve me. Her kid is my niece's best friend, and I'd like to get to know who my niece is having sleepovers with."

"That's bullshit."

"No, it ain't. And what happened tonight is between me and Carol. You don't have a say in who she spends time with, and trust me, she ain't my type. You wanted me to be friendly, and I am."

He glared. "Take my truck and go home. I'll take care of Carol."

"She's fine."

"I don't doubt it."

He shook his head. "Fine, I'm gonna head home. I'll see you there. Or not."

Daryl tossed his keys to his brother and watched him leave. He knew Carol was in goods hands with Merle, but he didn't understand why Merle was with her tonight. He knew Merle wouldn't have told her about their old man. He knew that, so what did they talk about? Why did Merle lie to him to have dinner with Carol? He didn't have any answers, and he knew demanding them from Merle would only piss him off. He would have to wait and ask Carol. He needed to talk to her anyway, tonight if she had time. That's why he was came here to wait for her. If Merle did tell her, he would explain why he didn't. And if Merle didn't tell her, he was going to.

He checked in on Carol, and she was exactly how Merle said she was. He turned the overhead light off and flicked on the lamp behind her, not wanting the light to wake her. He removed her shoes and covered her lower half with a blanket. He heard Sophia pull in so he left her and met Sophia in the kitchen.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" She set her books and binders on the table. "I thought Mom was with Merle."

"She was. Merle needed a ride home."

"Is that why he's waiting outside for you?"

"Yeah, I wanted to check on your mom. She got little drunk."

"Wow, that's a first in a long time. I'll take it from here. She'll be asleep all night, but I'm gonna stay with her. Thanks for checking on her. That's really sweet."

"You're welcome. How was studyin'?"

"Long. Very long. Uh, I got to meet the new girl. She's really sweet, and she's gonna come over tomorrow so we can study Macbeth." She grabbed a can of green tea from the fridge. "Well, you should go. It's late, and I don't think Merle's a patient person."

"Yeah, yeah. He ain't at all patient. Get some sleep, and tell your mom to call me tomorrow."

"I will." She hugged him goodbye and locked up when he was gone. She headed to her mom's room and curled up beside her. She rolled onto her side and thought about Carl then Enid. She didn't lie. She didn't really break up with Carl, because of her. She said she did to Iris, but it was because of their night together. She needed time to think, and she still wasn't sure how she felt about it. She would just have to think over it some more.

– – –

Sophia looked over her shoulder as her mom entered the kitchen, groaning softly, a hand pressed to her forehead. "Rough night?"

"I'll be fine. I just have a headache." She grabbed a glass of water and some aspirin. "How was studying?"

"Painfully long." She joined her at the table with her breakfast of two cream cheese cover halves of a bagel. "I'll do well on my test, but I don't know that it'll be worth it."

She smiled. "I heard Carl's voice over the phone. Was he here?"

"Yeah, he had been helping Enid with makeup work. We ate dinner together, and it was nice. Enid's really nice. She's coming over today, so I can help her more with Macbeth."

"Shakespeare." She took her pills with the water. "Hell is empty and all the devils are here."

"Too true." She ate her breakfast.

"Well, not all people are devils." She rested her chin in her palm. "I had a strange dinner with Merle Dixon, and I'm not sure what the point of it was."

"I can't see Merle just hanging out."

"It certainly wasn't that." She sipped her water. "I should call him."

"Oh, speaking of calling people, Daryl wants you to call him. I think he's not working today, or is working his other job, but you should call him."

"When did you talk to Daryl?"

"Last night. He came to pick Merle up."

"Ah. I was out cold. I didn't even hear you two talking."

"He checked on you. He wanted to make sure you were all right."

"Don't make that face at me."

"I'm not making a face."

"You are. It just has cream cheese on its mouth."

She licked it off the corner of her mouth. "Well, are you going to call him?"

"I don't know."

"What's to know?"

"A lot. I will likely call him. I just have a lot on my mind right now. Some things Merle said to me at dinner, and I'm not entirely sure how ready I am to talk to Daryl about them."

"What things?"

"Nothing bad, just... Merle made me realize something I hadn't thought about before, and it scared me a little." She lowered her hand and cupped her glass of water.

"Scared you how?"

"Not in a bad way."

"That's possible?"

"Sometimes. It's scared in an excited way, in a nervous way." She met her daughter's eyes. "I've never been in a relationship where this happened, where I—we can...have a future together. One we both want. There are other things, but it's between me and Daryl."

"Well, I have to get to school early and take a test." She set her plate in the sink, eating the rest of her bagel as she grasped her keys and backpack. She hugged her mom on the way and hurried out the door to get to school.

Carol ran a hand through her hair and saw the phone on the counter. It was too early to call him, and she needed to get ready for work. She'd call him at lunch. Besides he was either already at work or getting ready for work himself. She wouldn't disturb him. And Maybe he would like to grab a bite to eat.

––

"So, what's on the calender for today?" Iris ate her egg whites and fresh fruit.

"You have school today." Andrea joined them at the table with coffee and her cup of yogurt, granola and strawberries. "And I need to call Carol soon."

"Why?" Shane drank his coffee.

"Because I just need to."

"It's a surprise," Iris told him. "I don't even know what it is, but I'm assuming surprise."

"A surprise? For Carol?"

"You two know the meaning of the word, right?"

"Could we have a hint?" Shane asked. "Is it for Carol? Is Carol in on the surprise?"

"It's not a surprise baby shower, is it? Because I want in on that. I want a Cinderella theme party."

"Cinderella?" Andrew's brows rose. "I wasn't expecting that."

"Why weren't you? It's not my favorite movie, but I like the idea that someone can endure such cruelty and still remain kind and loving, and that person can even have unconditionally love in their life."

"That's pretty deep," Shane commented. "I guess pregnancy brain is delayed."

"Ha ha." She smirked. "And I love sky blue and silver tones."

"I can work with that." Andrea smiled. "I'll talk to Carol about it, but the surprise isn't for you."

"Who then? Sophia? Daryl? Shane?"

"You're also not apart of it. It's just me and Carol working on this, and it's her idea, so stop. I'm not going to tell you anything." Like that Sophia was involved. Iris would harass her to not end. Andrea would spare her that.

"I could help."

"Nope, you'd spoil it. You cannot keep a surprise to yourself, so don't ask me again."

She sighed and shrugged it off. "Okay, could we talk about something else?"

"Sure. What is it?"

"I'm not talking about now or anytime soon, but I was wondering when I could get a car." She held her breath. The last time she brought this up, Mom exploded. It was poor timing, and Iris hadn't been listening to her before she spoke. She hoped now was a better time to at least talk about it.

"A car?"

"Yes. Not now, or even this year, but I was just hoping we could talk about it. I mean, with the baby coming in six months I think it'd be easier if I had a car. I could get a job and help with all of the bills. Patrick will help too, but I want to help out. I've done nothing for sixteen years, and I want to do something now. It's my baby, and I won't leave you and Dad and Shane to pay for everything."

"It's my grandchild," Andrea added. "I don't mind to."

"I mind. I feel bad. I want to do more, and I'll pay you back for the car."

"Iris, where is this coming from?"

"Sophia and I talked the other day, and...it dawned on me that I've been really self-involved. I don't want to be. I want do more and be better. I know you're proud of me, but I'm not really proud of me. I want to be at a place where I can be, and I want to help out more. After the baby is born I know it'll be a lot to take on, but I'm not alone. I have you guys and Dad and Patrick and Uncle Merle. I know we'll make this work, and we can talk about it again later if you want."

Andrea nodded. "That would be best. I'll talk to Daryl and get him over here so we can discuss this."

"Okay. That would be great." She smiled. "By the way, I'd like to throw a graduation party for Patrick. His parents aren't even coming, so it'd be really nice for us to do this for him."

"I'd love to. We're practically family now."

Shane nodded. "Hey, I'll give you a ride to school. C'mon."

"Thanks." She smiled at her mom. "I'll see you at dinner."

"Bye." She smiled back and watched them leave. She was really surprised to hear that from Iris. It would appear that the baby was making her grow up in ways she didn't know she needed to. She thought the baby was equal parts accident and drama for their already dramatic lives, but maybe it was meant to play out this way. Hmm. What else was going to happen that was meant to happen to improve their lives, she wondered.

– – –

Enid caught up to Sophia in the hall. "So, I brought you a gift."

"What for?" She hugged her binder to her chest. "You didn't have to."

"I know, but I wanted to." She smiled. "I made cupcakes for lunch."

"Iris will love that."

"I hope you like them too." She dodged a group of kids clumped up in the halls. "So, are we still on for tonight?"

"Yes."

"Cool. I'll see you later. I need to talk to the guidance counselor about my transcripts, so I'll catch up to you. Try not to have too much fun."

"Oh, never."

She laughed and headed into the room beside them.

Sophia looked up and saw Carl and Patrick goofing around by their lockers. She wondered what she should say to Carl. She didn't even explain to him why she broke up with him, and she couldn't answer that question even now. She wasn't ready to talk to him about it. She wasn't ready to admit things that she had kept blocked in her mind yet. She needed to talk more with her mom, and maybe then she'd be ready. Mom would be upset after they talked. She always was when it had to do with _him._ Sophia couldn't bottle it up forever. She just needed to speak. How hard could that be?

"Hey." She joined them. "Easy. You'll crush the freshmen."

"It is not my fault they get shorter and shorter each year," Carl teased.

"I have to go anyway. I have a college to visit. I just left my flash drive here. Tell Iris I'll call her tonight."

"Okay."

"How do you know he was talking to you?" Carl mused. "I am his best friend."

"Yeah, well I'm Iris' best friend. I think he meant me." She smirked. "I have to get to class. I'll see you at lunch."

"Sophia, wait." He grasped her arm. "I... I wanted to talk to you later. Maybe after school?"

"I can't today. Enid and I have plans."

"Oh. You two are getting along then?"

"Yes, she's really sweet."

"I knew you'd like her. I'm glad." He released her arm. "Maybe we could meet next week? Before the party, maybe?"

"Yeah, I'd like that. Why not at noon?"

"Great."

She headed to class, biting her bottom lip. That gave her some time, but sadly not as much as she wanted. She'd work it out. Mom would always be there. They'd talk tomorrow, and she'd have it sorted before spring break. She hoped anyway.

––

Carol found a second to breath and borrowed Axel's phone to call Daryl from her car. The kids were so hyped up for something Maggie had planned, and Carol had talked to Jessie for two hours, and she was behind already in her plan. She needed air, and Axel had helped her escape. She owed him for that, and for helping her out with the surprise. He was such a good man and a great friend.

"I'm busy, Axel."

"It's me."

"Carol? Why are you callin' from Axel's phone?"

"Mine is in my office that is being attacked by children."

"I see." He chuckled. "I'm glad you called. I wasn't sure if you got my message."

"I meant to call during lunch, but I missed that. If you hear me chewing, it's me. I'm trying to multitask, and I'm not doing so well."

"At least you've gotten lunch."

"You haven't?"

"No, too busy. This is my one break. Glad I waited."

"Have you eaten?"

"Yeah, but I had big breakfast. I'm good. Er, full. But I didn't want you to call me so I could have you worry about me. I wanted to have dinner with you. A real dinner at a restaurant, just the two of us."

"That sounds lovely."

"How about this Thursday night?"

"This Thursday? Uh, sorry, I have plans. I'm sorry. Maybe Friday night. I'm free."

"Yeah, that's fine too."

"What time?"

"Seven. I'll pick you up."

"Okay. Was that all?"

"From me, yeah. That's all."

"I don't want to keep you, so I'm going to go."

"Enjoy your lunch."

"Enjoy your late lunch/early dinner."

He laughed. "I will. Bye, Carol."

"Bye, Daryl." She smiled and hung up. She couldn't meet him on Thursday. She had been trying to plan this day for five years, but the man vanished every time. This year she had Merle. They had talked about it during dinner, and he was going to get Daryl to the event room she'd booked at six-thirty. It was Daryl's birthday this Thursday, and she been planning it for weeks. If he bailed, she was going to murder him. It was probably the first surprise birthday party he'd ever had, and she was thrilled to be planning it, to share it with him and everybody he cared about it. It wasn't going to be huge, because she didn't want to make him feel uneasy. She hoped he liked it. More importantly, she hoped Merle got his ass there. It'd been five years coming. He couldn't avoid it this year.

––

Daryl sat down and ran a hand through his hair. He had wanted to speak with Carol on his birthday. He usually liked to be alone on his birthday, avoid it, but this year he wanted to spend it with Carol. He wondered what plans she had. Did she forgot? There was no way. Carol always tried to have some celebration, and he always managed to get away from her. He didn't know why she tried so hard, and he felt bad, but he just wasn't the type to celebrate birthdays. Maybe this year would be different, or so he thought before Carol told him she had plans.

He sighed. Oh well, the day after was fine too.

– – –

"Why do I have to get this dressed up?" Iris finished highlighting the notes she'd printed off in the library from Patrick's notebook. "What's so special about today?"

"It's Daryl's birthday."

She tossed her notebook on the floor. "It's his birthday?! And nobody told me until now?!"

"I thought you knew. Clearly I was wrong."

"I didn't even get him a card! Or a gift! Mom!" She scrambled off her bed. "We need to shopping now."

"Iris, calm down. I already got Daryl a gift, and we'll grab a card on the way. Get dressed."

"Where are we going?"

"To the surprise party Carol's throwing for him."

"That's nice of her." She picked a pen from her bed. "I need to write this on the calender for next year."

"Well, hurry up. We gotta go. We're picking up the cake."

"Yes, Mom." She wrote it down in the calendar she kept in her purse and tossed it on the bed. She was a little sad for not knowing sooner. She would have called him at midnight so she could be the first to tell him happy birthday. Well, there was next year. She would definitely be the first. Unless he got back with Carol and Carol beats her to it. Well if that was the case, she would probably be too happy to care. Or she'd call five minutes before and keep his attention until midnight. Yeah, that's what'd she do.

––

Carol smiled at how the room looked. She wanted do it at home, but she wasn't going to deal with the clean up, and it would be nice to have a party somewhere else for a change. There were only a dozen or so people here. They were all here save for Andrea and Shane and Iris who were picking up the cake. Sophia and Carl were helping with the balloons, and she suspected they were inhaling more helium than the balloons, but they were having fun with it. She was glad to see they getting along so well. She wondered if they'd talked.

Maggie was arranging the gifts on the table, talking with Beth who didn't know Daryl very well, but she wanted to try and change that since he and Maggie were so close. Even Daryl and Hershel knew each other pretty well. Merle was in the back, chatting up one of the female caterers. Either he was flirting or he wanted the shrimp she was serving. Carol honestly wasn't sure at this point. He was working hard for both it appeared. He had arrived early due to a flat tire, so Carol had to make other arrangements for Daryl in order to keep this party a surprise.

Axel was talking with Hershel about God only knew what. She didn't know what they had in common. Axel helped him out from time to time, but she didn't know they were friends. Or at least friendly. He likely needed some of Hershel's sage advice. Carol needed it from time to time herself. He was a really good father to his girls, and sometimes he tried to father Sophia and Carol. He was unstoppable, but Carol was glad Sophia had someone in her life like that.

"Carol."

She turned and hugged Andrea as a greeting. "You're just in time. Daryl's on his way."

"Really? You didn't have Merle drag him here?"

"No. I sent Patrick to pick him up, so he has no choice." She smirked. "Patrick will lock him in the car."

"Nice. I'll go put the cake over there."

She greeted Shane with a smile and gave Iris a hug. "I'm glad you could make it."

"He's my dad. Of course I'm here." She grinned. "Thank you for doing this. I hope he likes it."

"Me too, honey."

"I'm sure he will," Shane said. "Or he'll appreciate the thought and slip out the back door."

"I bet it's the second one," Iris agreed, "but at least there's more cake for the rest of us."

"You're both horrible," Carol decided. "Go talk to someone else, please."

"I'm joking!" Iris laughed. "I don't know how he'll feel, but I think it's pretty awesome."

She smiled. "Thank you."

"Come on, kid." Shane led her away toward Carl and Sophia.

Carol checked her watch. Patrick was going to be here in five minutes. She hoped he was on time. She didn't want to have to wait another half hour. Her nerves couldn't take it. She kept thinking over all the ways he could hate this, and she was scared he would hate it and openly express that hate, even if he didn't meant to. He was very expressive with his eyes, and sometimes he didn't try to hide it. Like when he and Axel didn't get along. She didn't want him to hate it, but he had other plans for them tonight. She was curious about what they were, but she wanted him to have a good birthday. Maybe she should have waited until next year, but it was far too late now.

About ten minutes later, Patrick came running into the room, breathless, and Carol was so happy to see him. She frowned at the lack of Daryl.

"Is he coming?"

"He's outside. He wants to talk to you."

"And you ran in here to tell that?"

"Well, he could have left already so yeah."

"Good point." She hurried to find him, and he was still outside. She was relieved. That was until she saw his face. Her heart stopped as she approached him, her fingers knotting together, and she planted herself in front of him, unable to meet his eyes for a second, and when she did, she felt sick to her stomach. Maybe she should have warned him first. "Hey."

"What the hell is goin' on?"

"Nothing is going on. I mean, a surprise birthday party is going on, but that's it." She smiled a little, offering a slight shrug.

"A surprise birthday party?"

"I thought you'd like to spend your birthday with people who care about you. Sophia and Andrea and I have been planning it for a month, and I thought it'd be nice. You never have anybody over or around on your birthday."

"There's a reason for that."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd hate it _this_ much."

"I don't hate it, I don't like it either." He shook his head. "You shoulda talked to me about this."

"What's to talk about? For the love of God, it's a _surprise_ party. You aren't supposed to know."

"Take me home. Or let Merle know I'm takin' his bike home."

"You won't even come in?"

"No."

"Why not? I deserve an answer. I spent a month planning this, and it wasn't exactly cheap."

"I hate to walk out on you, but I didn't ask for this. I have my birthdays alone for a reason, and you of all people should know I wasn't gonna change that. And if I was, it wouldn't be a big party!"

"There are probably less than a dozen people in that room!"

"And I wanted to spend it with only you!" he retorted. "One person! Not less than a dozen!"

"Why just me?"

"I wanted to talk to you. Okay? I wanted to tell you somethin' important to me, but..."

"But what? I threw you a birthday party?" She crossed her arms. "Look, you can't always be alone anymore, Daryl. I know that's not fair, and I'm sorry you made plans for us that I canceled, but it's your birthday. People want to celebrate it with you. Your daughter wants to celebrate it with you. Sophia and Andrea and everyone else in that room. You have a family, and you can't ignore them today."

He wracked his hands through his hair. "Christ, Carol, don't make me do this."

"I won't, but you're going to tell them why you don't want to be here. I can't do that for you."

"Carol, wait." He stepped closer to her. "I—I'm sorry."

"Don't be." She shook her head. "I should have known."

"It's not you," he whispered. "I'd like to go in there, but I'm just not a person who has a birthday party and enjoys it."

She nodded. "What kind of person are you then?"

"I can show you."

"And leave them all in there? Daryl, it's your birthday party."

"It's my birthday, I can leave if I want to." She smiled. "C'mon, just text Sophia when we're far enough away. Say I'm sick."

"Daryl, I don't know."

"I'll pay you back, and I'll come next year. I swear." He held out his hand.

She mauled it over then sighed, "Fine." She grasped his hand.

A small smile spread across his lips, and he led her toward her car, away from the small group of people waiting inside for them. He would make it up to her later. He just needed to do this today, right now. He couldn't wait, and honestly if he went to the party, he would ruin the mood. Hopefully next year Carol had it at her place or maybe at his, and they were only five or so people. He wasn't a fan of crowds. He never would be, really.

––

Iris laced her fingers through Patrick's, seeing the time on his watch. "Dude, did they kill each other?"

"Maybe. Daryl wasn't at all pleased when he saw the building. He knew instantly what he was about to walk into. I hope Carol went easy on him. She has a terrible scold."

"When you break a ketchup bottle and then use the good towels to clean it up, of course she'll be angry." Sophia sat across from them. "Plus you killed our microwave."

"It was not my fault. It was hers." He pointed to Iris.

"You brought the subject up," Iris corrected. "And I had a crush on you so I did it for you then blamed you when you left. I'm sorry. It was two years ago."

"And she still won't let me use the microwave."

"When do you ever need to use Carol's microwave?"

"All the time since none of us apparently own TVs and can only watch movies at Sophia's."

"God, you two are so married," Sophia teased. "I'm going to call my mom, see what the hold up is." She pulled her phone out of her purse and saw she had a text. "Oh, she sent me a text."

"What's it say?" Andrea joined them.

"Daryl's not feeling well. Mom took him home."

"What? Are you serious?" Iris exclaimed. "They left?"

"Who left?" Maggie approached the group. "Carol and Daryl?"

"Yes, they left 'cause my dad's sick. He's totally faking it."

"Mom would know he was faking," Sophia argued. "Why would she go along with it?"

"Maybe she snapped after all these years and killed him," Carl suggested, helping himself to more shrimp hors d'oeuvres, and Sophia smacked his arm. "Ow."

"I'll call her."

"Unless he talked her into leaving," Andrea suggested. "Maybe they went off to talk. Carol wouldn't just back down without knowing why."

"So what, they went to talk it out and just left us without sayin' anythin'?" Maggie put her hands on her hips. "I can see Daryl doin' that, but Carol wouldn't agree easily."

Andrea stopped Sophia from making the call. "Let's just leave them be, okay? We can still have the party. Do you guys want to invite anybody?"

"Enid would like to come," Patrick suggested. "And Lizzie and Mika."

"Call them. I'm going to put the cake and gifts in my truck." She turned to Maggie. "Give me a hand?"

"Sure." She nodded.

"I'll get Shane."

"So, we can't have any cake?" Iris grumbled. "This is why I had Shane by me chocolate."

"Your diet is not that bad." Sophia sat down. "And you can eat almost everything you want."

"I know, but I really wanted some cake. Did you smell it? It's like heaven."

"It's going home with you."

"Yeah, but Mom will drop it off at Daryl's on the way home. Just like his gifts."

"Then sneak some." Carl shrugged a shoulder. "I doubt she'll check to see if it's all where."

"True, but I'll just ask him when I see him later. It's less work, and he should have the first piece. It's his birthday cake, even if he left to be with Carol."

"I wonder what they're talking about." Sophia set her chin on her knuckles.

"You know I think we spend too much time thinking about your mom and her dad," Carl stated.

"We do." Patrick drank from his cup. "So, about the party."

"You are not denying us this party," Iris told him. "It'll be fun, and you need fun in your life right now."

"All I'm going to say is I'm bringing pizza."

"Oh. Well, thank you. I'm bringing ice cream, which means I'll need to use your freeze in the shed."

"We still have power so that's okay." He twisted his finger around the curls in her hair.

"God, you're so cute I could punch you." Sophia stood up. "I need food."

"I need more of these shrimp. Your uncle ate most of them. He's sweet talking the cook, I swear he is."

Iris laughed. "That's my uncle. Sweet talker of cooks and caterers."

Sophia snickered. "C'mon, let's leave these two alone."

"I'll show you where the good food is." He hopped up.

Iris rolled her eyes at Sophia but smiled and chuckled.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. Ignore me." She peered at him. "I'm just happy for everyone." She hoped whatever Daryl and Carol were talking about was important. She hoped they worked through their problems, because they were going to be in each other's lives for a long time. Iris and Sophia were best friends, and until they leave home, Daryl and Carol would run into each other. Carol and Andrea are friends, and Iris is Andrea's daughter and Daryl's, and again they'd meet a lot. And there are other connections. Maybe this was for the best. She'd like to believe that.

– – –

The moon reflected on the surface of the pond, Daryl was sitting by the end of the dock, his boots brushing the top of the water, and Carol waited for him on a rock. He wasn't there long, and he joined her, sitting on a rock horizontal to her.

"Do you come here every year?" She rubbed her arm, not sure if it was a bug or just her skin crawling.

"Yeah, I sometimes spend a couple hours out here, just thinkin'."

"About what?"

"A lot of things." He met her eyes. "I hate my birthday."

"Why?"

He inhaled deeply and swallowed. "'Cause of my parents."

"What did they do?" She set her palms on the cool rock, leaning toward him just a bit. "If you want to tell me, of course. I don't want to push."

"I do want to tell you." He mirrored her actions and bit his bottom lip. "It's just... I ain't ever told anybody this before. Hell, Merle doesn't even know."

Her brows shot up. "Really? You didn't tell your brother?" He shook his head. "I got the impression you and Merle told each other everything."

"We do most of the time, but...he'd hate himself if he ever knew, ever saw it."

"Saw it?" Her brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"On my ninth birthday...uh, my mother threw me a birthday party and invited a bunch of kids from the block. It was a disaster. My old man was drunk off his ass, and so was she. She wasn't too mean when she was drunk, but he was. He was a cruel man sober, not that he ever was." His blue eyes darkened, his nails digging into the rock, and his heart began to race. He was back at that party, nine years old, watching it all unravel as he desperately hoped it wouldn't. "We barely got through the gifts when he...showed his true colors. He didn't know why all those kids were there, and he screamed, just belted out curses and slapped me across the face. Mom tried to stop him, but he just shoved her against the couch, knocking her over. The kids ran out the door, and me with 'em. Joe...my old man...threw the cake out the door at my feet and the gifts they'd brought followed."

Carol covered her mouth with her hand, eyes wide and glossy. "Oh God."

"He dragged me back into the house and slammed the door. He beat the shit out of me, and all she did was watch. He gave me the first of my scars that day." His jaw tightened, tears in his eyes. "Couple days later, Joe was out of the house, and my mom was drunk again. She liked wine and to smoke in bed. She must've passed out with a lit cigarette."

"Daryl."

"I was tryin' to play with those same kids who my old man kicked out, but their parents wouldn't let them. There was smoke, and they rode down on their bikes as fast as they could to see if there was somethin' worth seein'." A dark, humorless chuckle escaped through his lips. "It was my house on fire. It was my mom in bed, burned down to nothin'. It didn't even feel real. She was just—just gone."

Carol flew off the rock and wrapped her arms around him, feeling how rigid and cold he was. He was shaking, and he wouldn't touch her. He was lost in his memories, and she didn't know to do to sooth him.

"It got worse when she was gone," he strained. "So damn worse... Merle was abused too. He knows I was, but he doesn't now all of it. Or how old I was when it started."

"It's over, Daryl. He's gone. It's just you and me here. I know it's not all right, but it will be. I promise." She kissed the top of his head. "I love you."

He lifted his head to look at her face, her tears rolled down her cheeks and down her chin, landing on his face. He stared up at her, the moonlight catching in his eyes, and he choked. "What—what did you just say?"

She sniffed and tried to smile. "I love you."

"You love me," he repeated, the words not reaching his brain.

"Of course I love you, Daryl." She cupped his cheek. "How could I not?" Her voice was deep and thick from the emotions she had been holding back so for long, and from the story and the pain he had finally revealed to both her and himself. "I've been trying to tell you I love you for months, but I couldn't. I was scared. I don't think I was ready."

He reached up and wiped a tear from her cheek. "I love you, Carol."

She laughed, a choked but delighted sound.

"I've loved you for years. I was scared too. Nobody I love ever..." he trailed off. "Well, it's always ended bad."

She kissed him. "Not this time." She hugged him. "It'll be okay."

He didn't know what she mean, but he hadn't realized that his face was wet with tears of his own. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and for the first time, he cried about the abuse, about the boy lost alone in the woods who nobody gave a shit about. He wasn't mourning anybody. He wasn't filled with regret and self-loathing. He had been numb for so long, and all of it just came rushing back. The blind rage that burned in his chest, the suffocating helplessness that coiled up in the pit of his stomach, the confusion that nestled in his mind, and the isolation that tore into his heart. They used to take their turns tormenting him, but they were beginning to loosen. They had began to lose their strength as Carol held him, whispering that she loved him ever so softly in his ear. He knew they would be back and they would find strength again, but it didn't always have to be like that. He didn't have to endue it alone. He didn't have to be just a survivor. He could be a person. No, better than that. He could be a father. He could be a friend and a brother. He could be a man in love with nothing to hide. In time, he could be all of those things, maybe even more.

"I love you," Carol whispered. "It'll be okay. We'll find a way for it to be okay. I promise."

– – –

The red letters on his alarm clock read five minutes till midnight. Their boots had been tossed out in the living room along with their jackets and Carol's phone. It had been turned off, a single message sent to Sophia. Carol's dress was hanging on the bathroom door, tears and snot on the shoulder of it. His messy jeans and shirt were tossed in the hamper in his room. And it was quiet. Peacefully and blissfully quiet. The sound of breathing, of sleeping, a perfect whisper in his bedroom.

Carol was curled up beside him, drowning in one of his shirts and his sweatpants. She had her head on his chest, her fingers spread out on his stomach, and her legs tangled up in his. She was exhausted. She didn't even feel his fingers running through her short, soft hair.

Daryl was awake still, thinking about what had happened in the woods and what happened when they walked back. Carol had told him about Ed, about what he used to do to her in bed. It was brutal, but it made sense. A snake like him could have nothing but a body made of mean bones. He had to swallow his anger and let it go. Bear had dealt with Ed years ago, and honestly it was a better death than he deserved. What he had done to her and what he might have done to Sophia earned him a seat in hell, and Daryl hoped he was there. Right with his old man, punished for what they had done when they were alive.

Daryl shifted, Carol exhaled softly, and his eyes fell on her face, his lips pulling back in a smile. He had wanted to hold her as she held him, but she wouldn't have it. Not until she had it all out in the open—the rape, the mental and physical abuse, the threats and looks he gave Sophia, Denise. It was too much to swallow all in go, and he had no idea how she managed to say all of it. He couldn't believe how strong she was, how strong she was making him as well.

There was a difference between faking strength and actual strength. Carol was strong. She had been through so many and still managed to find someone inside of herself that she loved and that pushed her forward. She struggled and fell back into that darkness at night when she couldn't protect herself in dreams, but still came out even stronger. She was amazing.

He wasn't. He had lived all of his life with walls protecting him. He didn't let anybody in. He kept his distance, barely spoke unless someone had pissed him off, and he stopped caring about what happened to other people. Or he tried to. Part of him always fought, always pressured him to step up and be better, but he didn't listen until Ella was born. She healed so much of him, but there were shadows so dark nothing could touch them, not even the light of a baby's laugh or her first words or her I love yous. Parts so dark that he was too scared to even admit he had.

Now they were all exposed. They were still dark, but they couldn't hide. He couldn't hide. And he didn't want to. He wanted them to go away. He wanted to be able to look at himself and feel like he was something. Too often he felt like a shadow, like nothing, and no matter how many people entered his life and bettered it, that feeling crept back. He wouldn't let that happen again. He was going to get help, talk to someone. Carol was going to help him with that, and he was grateful to not have to do that alone. He never believe that good things come to those who wait, but maybe that was true. Maybe everything did work out the way it was supposed to.

"Happy birthday."

He smiled a little as Carol sleepily smiled back, eyes still shut, and he looked at the clock. It was about to be midnight. He moved hair from her ear, she inhaled and opened her eyes, and he cupped her cheek, his thumb gently stroking her cheekbone. "Best birthday I've ever had."

She smiled even more. "Happy birthday, Daryl Dixon."

"You already said that."

"I have five years worth of birthdays to make up to you," she replied, "so happy birthday."

He chuckled and shook his head.

"Happy birthday." She snuggled closer, and he closed his eyes as their foreheads touched. "Happy birthday."

"Thank you," he whispered, catching her chin. "I love you."

She chuckled now. "I love you too."

He kissed her, and while he had done it before, it felt different. It felt right. No, that wasn't correct. It felt... _more_. There was more to this kiss, and now there would be more to this relationship. In time, there would be a lot...more.

She pulled back and buried her face in his chest. "Good night."

"Good night." He kissed her forehead and set his hand on her hip, closing his eyes. He fell asleep with a smile on his lips and hope in his heart. Hope was a good thing, maybe even the best thing, and that wouldn't die. He wouldn't let it.


	21. Where Do You Fit?

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing._**

––

Carol inhaled and woke up, the sunlight causing her to wince, and she covered the main stream of light with her hand. She didn't even know Daryl had a window in his bedroom. It was always shut. She wondered why he had opened it. And then she wondered where he had went, as his side of the bed was empty.

She pushed off the bed and started down the hall, seeing him in the kitchen. He was making coffee, and she could see what a mess his kitchen was. She didn't know if he was trying to make breakfast or if it was recovering from the last dinner he'd made. Or perhaps Merle had made. She wasn't entirely sure. It brought a smile to her lips nevertheless, and she greeted him.

"You're awake." He set a cup of coffee down on the bar for her, giving a gesture to let her know that. "I was just about to wake you."

"Thank the sunlight for that." She reached up and slipped her arms around his neck, kissing him. "Thank you."

He smiled and pressed his forehead against hers. "Heh."

"What?" She peered at him. "Something funny?"

"No," he whispered. "Just didn't occur to me how much I missed bein' able to do that."

"And how much was that?"

He cupped her cheek and crushed his lips against hers, surprising her with his zeal. He could remember the last time they kissed. An actual kiss that wasn't brief and for luck. He had thought about it many times, and he thought it might be the last time they ever kissed. He was grateful to be wrong, and he wouldn't let anything like what happened before happen again. He would need to work on himself, and he would. He had too much to lose if he didn't. He had spent enough of his life letting his past destroy everything good, and he wouldn't do let that happen one second more.

Carol's smile widened as he pulled back. "Good morning to you too."

He chuckled. "Mornin'."

"So, did you get everything you wanted for your birthday?" she teased.

"Yeah." He smiled in the corner of his mouth. "Just one thing I didn't."

"And that was?"

He shrugged a shoulder. "Andrea's comin' by." He stepped back and picked up his cup of coffee.

"Why?"

"She meant to bring over the cake and presents last night, but Iris needed to go to the hospital."

"Oh my God, is she okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah, it was nothin'. I talked to her, and she's fine. The baby's fine."

"Well, that's a good way to give me a stroke."

"Sorry."

She waved it away. "So, what else did she say?"

"Carl liked your hors d'oeuvres choices."

"I thought he might." She rubbed the base of her neck. "Then again he eats almost anything."

"Sophia stayed the night with Andrea, so she's comin' with Andrea. They'll be here in about twenty minutes."

"Is Iris tagging along too?"

"No. She's gone to school with Patrick."

"Then why is Sophia coming over with Andrea? She should be at school." She reached for her watch, but it obviously wasn't there. "What time is it?"

"It's only seven. Iris went in early to speak to the guidance counselor."

"Oh."

"Do you work today?"

"I work every day. It feels like I do." She met his eyes. "Why do you ask?"

"Just curious." He cleared his throat. "I get off at five today. Will you be free?"

"If nothing comes up." She nodded.

"If nothin' does then meet me here."

"Why?"

"You'll just have to find out."

"All right. I'll be here at six. And if something comes up or I'm behind schedule, I'll give you a call."

He nodded this time. "I'm gonna jump in the shower, get ready for work. I'll see you tonight. Or at least hear from you." He kissed her once before heading to the bathroom.

Carol ran fingers through her hair and tilted her head to the side, releasing a soft groan at the realization that Daryl hadn't gotten her birthday present or card. She would have to find it when Andrea brought them over. She just hoped Iris didn't get happy with the cake, otherwise she'd have to buy another one. Unless Daryl wanted to lick the box like a dog.

Shaking her head, her eyes fell on the coffee pot. It was empty. Given that this was her first and that Daryl wasn't a morning person, he had drank almost an entire pot himself. How long had he been awake? The entire night? Or did he wake up a few hours after falling asleep? She hadn't heard him get up. She had a busy day, so sleeping like a rock was expected. She was curious to know what kept him up. She hoped it didn't involve any nightmares or bad memories. She could always ask, but he was in the shower, and she doubted he wanted to reveal any scars to her just yet.

– – –

"I have what you asked for," Sophia said, sitting on the arm of the couch, highlighting notes to her text tomorrow. "I'll bring it over in ten minutes. I just need to get through the rest of my study guide."

" _Thanks._ "

"Any time, but just so you know, the first time was better."

" _I'll see you later._ "

"Okay. Bye." She hung up and plopped back on the couch.

"That sounded like a shady ass drug deal." Carl rifled through the bag of chips he'd brought with him.

"Didn't I tell you I'm a drug dealer now? It's how we pay the morgue."

He snickered. "Sure." He sat down. "What's next?"

"I don't even care," she admitted. "I don't care if I fail. I don't care if I pass. I don't care if this papers sprouts legs and crawls off." She sighed and closed her eyes. "I just want it to be spring break. My mind is already in the space of spring break."

"Sophia."

"It's true." She straightened and pushed hair out of her face. "When am I ever going to need this? Unless I'm a science major—which I sure as hell won't be—this does me no good."

"It's the last test before break."

"She gets this way before every test when it's close to spring break," Iris reminded him. "I would too, but I'm like this all year round."

"I need to take a break before my head explodes." Sophia stood up and handed the study guide to Carl, heading into the kitchen to get something to drink.

"Where's Enid?" Carl flipped the study guide back to the first page. "And Patrick?"

"Enid and Patrick are at his place. She's trying out for something, and she needs his help." Iris joined him on the couch. "Or she wants his help for next year. I'm not sure which."

"And you aren't crazy jealous?" Carl narrowed his eyes. "Enid and Patrick. Alone. At his aunt's."

"I trust them," Iris responded. "And I'm carrying Patrick's child. If he tried anything, Mom would murder him. Shane would help hide the body."

"The perks of dating a cop." Sophia returned with a drumstick ice cream, replying to the text Lizzie had sent her. "Lizzie won't be able to come over tonight. Mika's sick."

"That sucks." Carl closed the bag of chips and looked over the guide. "Tell her I hope she feels better."

She nodded. "I have a dinner at six, so we should wrap this up around five-forty."

"A dinner? Who with?"

"A friend." She tapped the power button on her phone and leaned back into the couch. "Do you think I can fake a fever to get out of this test?"

"No. If I have to take it, you have to take it." Iris looked over the calender inside Sophia's binder to see what else was planned for this class. "We have tests the entire week we get back from spring break. God, why he is so cruel?"

"He has no life and hates us," Carl offered. "That's the only explanation I've been able to come up with."

"All right, test me on the first page." Sophia crossed her legs.

"Okay. First question." He turned to face he on the couch. "Who are you having dinner with?"

"Cute. And it's involuntary." She took the guide and gave it to Iris. "I'll be right back. I need to charge my phone." She hopped up and left Iris and Carl alone.

"Now who's crazy jealous?" Iris whispered.

He scoffed and opened his binder to look over his notes.

– – –

"What's wrong with your computer?" Axel repeated as Carol paced the length of her desk.

"It won't let me log in. It keeps freezing up, and it may have a virus. I'm not sure." She folded her arms. "It's getting late."

"It's barely five." He peeked at her over the edge of the computer screen. "Do you have plans for tonight?"

"Sort of."

He smirked. "Sort of?"

"Fine, I do. Daryl invited me over. And I thought I'd be able to make it until this happened."

"Why does this have to stop you?"

"Because I was supposed to send a recommendation e-mail to some employer for Stella. This job pays better and is more of what she wants to do. I promised I would, and I've been so busy with Daryl's birthday party that I forgot. It might be late after today."

"You can do it from Maggie's computer."

"She's chatting with Beth, and I don't want to be rude."

"I have my laptop with me. It's in my car. You can borrow it."

"Really?" She stopped pacing. "I can?"

"Yeah, it's fine. You'll have to bring it in here, because it's password protected, but yeah."

"Thank you, Axel."

He tossed her his car keys. "Don't mention it."

She went out to his car and grabbed the laptop, returning to her office. He unlocked it for her, she thanked him again, and she wrote out the e-mail for Stella. It was easy to praise her. She had many talents, and they shouldn't go to waste at a job that didn't challenge her, that didn't include anything she was passionate about. Passion is one of the most important things in the world. Without passion to drive you and fill you with energy, the world be would an empty, gray place.

"Hey, Carol?" Axel turned in her chair to look at her.

"Yeah?" She met his eyes, pressing send on the e-mail.

"I have a question."

She smiled. "What about?"

"You and Daryl are dating again, ain't you?"

She blushed. "Yes."

He smiled. "I'm glad for you. You seem happier—that's how I could tell something happened between y'all."

"Was that your question?" She could feel the heat on her cheeks spreading down to her neck. She closed his laptop and held it out to him, hoping it would take his eyes off her face. He likely saw her blush, but she could still hope he hadn't. "Or was that just a warm up?"

"I was wonderin' if you'd like to join me for dinner."

"What?"

"Would you join me for dinner?"

"Axel, you just asked if—"

"Sorry, I meant you and Daryl. Holly wants to meet you, and I figured you'd be nicer if you had someone you could escape to. Or someone to throw into her path of a million questions."

She laughed. "Oh, that would be great. I'd love to."

"Okay. Next Friday then?"

"That's perfect."

He gave a nod. "I'll text you when your computer is fixed. And if I don't have it fixed by tomorrow, I'll lend you my laptop again and let Daryl have a look. He's better at this than me."

"Okay." She stood up and collected her belongings. "I'll see you tomorrow. Have a nice night."

"You too."

She wasn't sure how Daryl could feel about a double date with Axel and his girlfriend. Daryl and Axel got along well, and they have since Axel started dating, but there a difference between being polite at work and being polite at a dinner. She knew Daryl would be on his best behavior if she asked, but she didn't want to make him uncomfortable, which he might be if he was the center of attention; and from the sound of it Holly would eventually make him be the center of attention, even if it was just hers. She couldn't reject Axel. She did want to meet Holly and see how things were going for them. She should have told him she'd think about it so she could talk about with Daryl. He didn't like surprises. She'd learned that last night. If she had to, she'd just tell him they were going out and then drive over to Axel's. It's not like he knew where Axel lived and he'd jump out of the car to escape. She hoped he wouldn't anyway.

– –

Daryl was waiting for her on the porch, and she could music and cooking meat wafting through the ajar door. She didn't know what to expect when he opened the door, but he looked happy—happier than he had in a long time, and she was pleased. She met him on the stairs and greeted him with a kiss, one that he lingered on.

"I got a surprise for you." He laced his fingers through hers.

"And that surprise is?"

"You'll see." He grasped the door knob with his free hand. "How do you feel about belated birthday parties?"

Inside his house were the unopened gifts, the untouched birthday cake that had been altered to stay happy belated birthday, and his immediate family: Iris, Sophia, Merle, and Andrea. Shane had come with Andrea, and Patrick with Iris. Patrick was family now, through Daryl's unborn grandchild, and Shane through Andrea. Four parents, one uncle who was recovering from alcohol and drug abuse, one pregnant child, and the other was hiding things although it was someone else's secrets. What a family. They were perfect to him.

Carol turned to him. "I thought you didn't want to share your birthday with anybody. Or belated birthday."

"It's not up to me," he replied. "I got family now, like you said, and next year it won't be the day after. I gotta get used to this."

She grinned at him. "I'm proud of you."

He leaned down so that his nose brushed her temple and whispered for only her to hear, "And I love you."

The flush was back, but for an entirely different reason.

"Dad, c'mere." Iris scooted over on the couch. "Open your gifts! I know I'm more excited than anybody, but I managed to get you a gift from me. C'mon."

"Iris." Andrea sat on a stool behind her.

"No, it's fine." He plopped down beside her and looked over the gifts on his coffee table. "Which one should I open first?"

"You're asking me?" Iris seemed startled but delighted. "Umm, I guess this one. I don't know who it's from, but the wrapping paper is pretty."

Sophia shifted onto the arm of the armchair so that Merle could have a seat. Shane and Andrea had taken the bar stools and Patrick had claimed the arm of the couch. Daryl opened the gift Iris had picked up, and Carol stood by the counter, arms crossed, head tilted, biting her bottom lip. Andrea had brought a camera and was taking pictures, but the picture from where she stood was amazing. Out of context, they looked like a normal family. She knew they had a lot of problems to work through—each of them different but still very capable of dragging them down—and they couldn't be there for each other in the way they needed, but they could assist by providing outside help. Denise had give Carol the number for a therapist that Sophia could talk to. Ed had left many scars on them, and it was time Sophia worked through hers. While they weren't on her body, there in her mind and in her heart, and Carol hoped in that in time that son of a bitch's grasp on them would be so thin they'd forget he was ever there.

As for Daryl, Denise suggested a different therapist, saying that it wasn't wise for siblings to see the same person. Carol had planned on telling him about number Denise had given her, but she would wait until later. He would need to make this call on his own, and so far he was doing a great job. She believed having it be the day after helped, and she hoped that next year, with the work of therapy and the grandchild who would bring such joy into his life, he'd be able to celebrate on the actual day. She would just keep praying for him and loving him until that day and many years after.

"How do you like your steak?" Shane rubbed his hands together, asking the room.

Patrick offered to give him a hand, Sophia was cleaning up the wrapping paper, and Merle was trying to toss them into the bag like a pro baseball player. Clearly he was not, and it made Sophia laugh when he missed. It seemed to make him happy, to do something funny on purpose and not because he was drunk or making an ass of himself and laughing at the person he had demoralized. Andrea showing some pictures to Daryl. They weren't of the party, but of something else. Carol would have joined them, but it felt better to let them do that alone. She liked watching.

"Hey." Iris joined Carol in the kitchen.

"Hi."

"I have a question for you." She wrapped her fingers around her cup.

"Everybody seems to have questions for me." She nodded. "What is it, honey?"

"Mom's trying to talk me into going to birthing classes. She thinks I don't notice, but I actually do. And I know I'm not due for while so I was hoping that you could teach me what I need to know and what you learned that books didn't teach you. I know Mom talked to you about this, but I wanted to be the one to ask. I...I wanted to ask for more than what Mom originally asked for. I'm sorry, but you're the only person I trust and can turn to."

"That's kind of a tall order."

"I know. I know it is, but I already have kids at school stare at me and judge me. I can't take going into a class and have more people think horrible things about me. I don't care about them or their thoughts—it's the whispering and the pointing. I can't talk to Mom about it. She'll try to pull me out of school and homeschool me or try and threaten the people who whisper." She met Carol's eyes, and Carol could see the tears she was trying to hide. "I trust you, and you know me. You're the only person who I'm comfortable enough to do this with. Grandma is sweet, but she has such an old-fashioned way of thinking. She'll try and convince me to marry Patrick and to be a stay at home mom, which is cool and everything for some women, but I have dreams outside being a mother. I'm sorry to ask so much of you."

She nodded. "I'll do what I can."

"You will?"

"Of course. Iris, you're like a second daughter to me, and that baby is important to me as well. When you're near your third trimester, we'll have our own birthing/parenting class. I'll request time off for it too."

Iris came around the counter and embraced her. "Thank you, Carol."

"You're welcome."

"And you're like a second mom to me." She pulled back. "I hope I can be a good a parent as you and Mom."

"I think you'll be a better mom than both of us." She brushed away a tear. "And it's okay to cry."

"I know, but it took a long time to do my makeup." She laughed and inhaled. "Thank you again."

"Mmm-hmm." Carol watched her join the others, and she picked up her cup, sitting on the couch.

"You didn't tell Shane how you liked your steak." Daryl scooted in behind her. "I let him know."

"Thank you." She leaned into him. "So, are you having fun yet?"

He curled an arm around her shoulders. "Yeah, it's...easier than I thought. I mean, it know it's just the seven of us, but it's nice."

"It won't always be the seven of us," Carol commented, peering up at him. "There'll be an eighth member on your next birthday, Grandpa."

He chuckled. "Yeah, that's a little weird to think about."

"I'm looking forward to it."

"You are?"

"Yes, but don't ask me why. I won't tell you. Not yet."

"All right." He pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head. "Thank you for your gift. Don't tell nobody, but it's my favorite."

She laughed. "You're only saying that because I'm your girlfriend."

He smiled. "Nah, it's true. I do like the watch Iris got me though."

"It's kinda pricey. I wonder how she paid for it."

"I'm really good at sales," Iris answered, filling her cup back up. "And I've been saving my allowance for Christmas presents and birthday presents."

"Can I expect something as nice on my birthday?" Carol teased.

"Something nicer. Maybe."

"Ooh, I can't wait."

Iris smiled and walked back outside.

"Do you want in on the planning of your next birthday, or do you want it to be a surprise?" Carol set her cup on the coffee table and cuddled up against him.

"Surprise me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sure I can think of something." She pursed her lips. "By the way...we have dinner plans with Axel next Friday."

"We... Why?"

"Because he invited us over for dinner to meet his girlfriend," the words flew out of her mouth in hopes that he wouldn't catch them all.

"Why does his girlfriend want to meet us?"

Shit. "She wants to get to know us clearly. She knows how close Axel and I are. She just wants to get a feel of who we are, I guess. I already agreed so we can't back out of it. And unless Iris gives birth to a healthy baby next Friday, we're going."

He groaned.

"I'm sorry. I agreed before I could talk to you about it."

He huffed. "It's fine. We'll... we'll go."

"Really?" She faced him. "You'll go? Just like that?"

"No point in complainin'." He shrugged. "Unless breakin' a leg would get us out of it."

"Daryl." She glared at him.

"I'm jokin'!"

"That's not funny." She shook her head. "I will have Hershel come and whack you with his cane."

"He never broke his leg, and if he ever has, I doubt it was to avoid an awkward dinner."

"Well, the cane would hurt more than me slapping you in the arm."

He smirked. "That's true."

"I'm going outside."

"Carol."

"What?"

He looked her over for a moment, not saying anything, and she felt the urge to smile, though it didn't quite make it to her lips. It shined in her eyes, and back in his, and he shook his head. "Nothin'."

"You sure?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

She found Sophia and Iris had the camera now, Shane and Patrick were at the grill, and Andrea was on the phone with someone. It sounded like it was Amy. Carol let her be and checked on the girls. They were looking over the pictures Andrea had taken from both last night and tonight, and they were taking pictures of Shane and Patrick, especially when Merle cut in. He was suddenly the master of the grill, and it was hilarious to watch him. Patrick actually looked worried at some of Merle's grilling advice, and Shane simply shook his head and chuckled. And at a certain point they all knew their steaks would all be well done.

Iris and Sophia had set up lights in the backyard so they could sit out there and eat. Shane and Andrea had done their best to try and repeal the bugs, and it worked. It wasn't too bad out tonight, and the conversation wasn't that forced. Merle and Shane didn't get along, and Daryl knew they never would. Merle didn't even get along with Rick when he had to. That was in the past, but it was clear Merle wouldn't like or be friends with any law enforcement officers. He and Andrea didn't butts heads so much, and he seemed to be warming to Patrick. He and Carol were all right. He wasn't sure what happened at their dinner, but Carol was the closest thing to a friend as anybody had ever gotten to Merle. Merle had a soft spot for Iris, as he always had, and he would be even worse when the baby came. He liked Sophia, possibly even had a soft spot for her. That could be because of his friendship with Carol also.

Daryl drank the rest of his pop, watching as Sophia and Patrick and Merle built a bonfire. Iris was passed out inside. The meal and star gazing had wiped her out, and Shane moved her from porch to the couch. Daryl had been busy with collecting wood for the bonfire. Andrea and Carol were cutting up the cake, and while he was comfortable with all of them being there for his belated birthday party, he was not comfortable with them singing to him. He never liked that. What the hell was he supposed to do? Sit there awkwardly? Applaud? Dive under the table and wait for it to be over? He'd rather avoid it altogether.

A slice of cake with a lit candle appeared before him, Carol holding the plate in her hands, and he smirked. She sat beside him and held the cake up to his mouth so he could blow the candle. He waited a second then blew it out, and she smiled.

"Happy belated birthday, Daryl Dixon."

"Thank you." He set his cup down in the grass and took the plate, pulling the candle out and sucking the icing off it.

"Now have you gotten all you wanted?"

He dropped the candle into his cup. "Not all of it."

"What more do you want?"

"You'll find out. One day, maybe."

Her brows rose. "I'll find out one day?"

"Maybe," he added.

She shook her head. "Enjoy your cake. I have leftovers to put away."

"That can wait."

"If I don't do it now, it'll never get done. You won't do it, and Merle would rather let it grow mold and be slowly picked away at by bugs." She smiled. "I think you can handle five minutes alone."

"Not if that kid comes back to ask me more questions."

"Patrick?"

He nodded. "Kid's nosy as hell."

"He wants to get to know the grandfather of his child."

"By buggin' me to death."

"He's family now and family bugs you to death." She set a hand on his shoulder. "Welcome to normal...ish family, Daryl. If he gets to be too much, I promise I'll come and save you."

He grumbled when she strolled back inside and ate his cake. Patrick was distracted by Sophia. They were sitting by the fire, looking at something on Sophia's phone. They were scrunched up pretty close, and they were laughing. Andrea and Shane came out and cuddled up together, talking softly. Merle was by the shed, sitting just inside in the empty space that the grill normally occupied, holding the chip he'd gotten for one year of sobriety. He had another, Daryl believed, but that one was most important to him. Daryl knew that if he could handle that first year without booze or drugs, he could handle anything. Daryl wondered what was going on in his life that was making him need that chip. Maybe it was just a reminder he needed. Daryl needed reminders too, and this entire night was a reminder. He had come a long way from who he was before his daughter, and while he had more progress to make, he needed to stop and relish in the fact that he had changed—for the better. He had all of this—all of them—in his life, and in five or so months, he'd have a grandchild in his life. He wanted to be even better by that time. He was starting down that path, and he would continue until his demons weren't so visible, so loud. He wasn't sure how long that would talk, but if he wanted to be the father Iris needed, the man Carol deserved and the man _he wanted to be_ , he would have to keep going. No matter how difficult it became, he would keep advancing.

– – –

"So, you're just going to the mall?" Mom handed her an extra twenty.

"Yes. And I'd like to buy a bathing suit and eat, so thank you." She slipped the twenty into her wallet. "I'll be home at six."

"Should I save you a plate, or are you eating out for dinner too?"

"I don't know yet. I'll call."

"Well, be careful."

"I'll have Iris in the car. I'm driving like a snail."

She smiled. "Good." She hugged her. "Have fun."

"I will. Bye." She released her mom and hurried out the door.

Carol checked her watch, her brain lingering on why Sophia would go shopping at eleven and be back at six. She shook her head and poured her second cup of coffee into a mug to take to work, searching the cabinets for breakfast. She had slept in late and called Maggie to let her know she'd be in at noon. She was sorely tempted to call off, but she would only think about what Sophia was really doing. She didn't need that right now.

"Think she even noticed I was here?" Daryl set his bowl of cereal down in the sink. "By the way, eatin' in the pantry isn't too bad."

"I don't know why you hid. She knows we're dating, and nothing happened last night."

"Then I'll show myself next time." He slipped his arms around her waist. "It could be funny. She might even stay for more than ten minutes."

"Or she'll run out the door at top speed."

"Guess I'll just have to see." His lips met hers, tasting the coffee on her tongue, and she leaned into him. Merle had taken his truck when he was at work, and Carol offered to drive him home. He wanted to come home with her. He just liked sleeping beside her. It was becoming more and more of a challenge to sleep in an empty bed. He enjoyed holding her and fighting for leg space with Honey, and Merle enjoyed having the house all to himself. Daryl didn't even want to consider why.

"Mmm." She pulled back. "I have to get to work. Do you need a ride?"

"Nah, I don't work till late. I can have Merle come get me."

"I don't mind taking you home."

"I'm fine here. Unless you don't trust me."

"If you're staying, you'll have to tend to Honey. We've been a little neglectful of her. Attention wise, anyway." She grasped his arms that encircled her. "Just give her a lot of love and make sure she has food and water. Maybe take her for a walk."

"I will."

"Have fun." She kissed him goodbye. "Goodbye, Honey."

He finished the coffee and saw Honey by the door. He joined her on the floor and rubbed her ear. "They'll be back, girl."

She leaned into his hand, and he set his coffee down to scratch her other ear. She flopped down onto his lap, and he let out a short chuckle, petting down her back. He could tell she hadn't gotten much attention lately. He drank his morning coffee and made sure Honey knew she was loved.

––

"This is my future." Iris held up a pair of stretchy pants. "Or I'll make myself suffer and wear sweatpants."

"We'd have to scrap you off the floor." Sophia took them from her. "We're here to shop and be happy, no moping."

"I'm not. I just didn't realize how little color my future had."

"Iris."

"I'm joking." She sighed. "When is Lizzie getting here?"

"Soon. Enid has a few things to do before she picks Lizzie up. I thought you'd like to hang out just the two of us, like old times."

"I love how I was pregnant in old times," Iris joked.

Sophia made a face.

"Okay, what is this? Really?"

"We're not looking for swimsuits until two," Sophia confessed. "I just thought you'd like to hang out. I miss hanging out with you. I love Lizzie, and Enid's really cool, but you're my best friend, and I feel like I've been slacking."

"Dude, why? I spend all of my time with baby books and color schemes and trying to figure out if my next craving will make me spend an hour in the bathroom. I get that you need space from all of that. I need space from it too, but oh well." She shrugged her shoulders. "You don't need to feel bad."

"Tell that to my conscious."

"You need to stop feeling guilty. Or let me bore you with talk about cradle cap."

"What?"

"Don't ask."

She laughed. "Do you want to see if there are any good movies on right now?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"Oh, guess what." Sophia adjusted her purse strap.

"I have no clue. What?"

"Daryl spent the night."

"Wow. It's only been a few days since they started dating again."

"I don't think anything happened. They were fully clothed and passed out together." She looked at Iris. "Midnight snacking is good when you want to accidentally spy on your mother."

"How did you even end up there? Isn't her room the opposite way of the kitchen?"

"Not when you hide snacks in the hall closet."

"Seriously?"

"Daryl and I like the same thing! If I don't hide them, he eats them all. I had to bust out my flashlight and creep like a thief down the hall. It was worth it though. I think I'll hide a box in my underwear drawer. He'd never look there, and I refuse to stay up that late to finish homework again."

"They seem happy," Iris commented. "Carol and Daryl."

"Happier than I've ever seen them," Sophia agreed.

"All right. No more about our parents. How are you? I heard you went to see that doctor. I don't remember the name."

"Dr. Espinosa. She's really sweet. I feel like she doesn't judge me either. I've only been to see her twice, but I think it's helping me."

"That's awesome. I hope it helps you with whatever you need."

"Me too."

"How is your mom taking you needing therapy?"

"She's okay with it, I guess. I mean, it's not good news. I know she wishes I wasn't affected by Ed, but I was. I can't change that, but I can work through it. I think she's kinda proud of me for realizing that."

"Yeah." She nodded. "I know I am."

She smiled. "I just wonder if she'll let me open up to her."

"About?"

"There are things I didn't tell her about him. I can only remember bits and pieces, but it's enough to haunt me." She rubbed her arm. "I don't want Mom to feel bad or hate herself for not leaving soon enough or feeling like she didn't protect me. That's not what I want at all. I only want to talk to her and have her talk to me. I don't think that'll happen for a long time."

"Well, you have Dr. Espinosa until then, and you have me." She smiled. "I'm ready to listen to anything you're ready to tell me."

"All I am ready to talk about at the moment is popcorn and candy."

"You read my mind."

––

"Axel, as long as it's not raw, Daryl will eat whatever you put in front of him." She flipped through her calendar. "Don't tell him I said that."

"Tell him you said...what?"

She smiled. "I can bring wine."

"You don't have to bring anything."

"I know, but I feel like I should."

"Okay, bring yourself and Daryl."

"Flowers?"

"Carol, you're not dating her—I am. You don't need to bring us a gift. Just bring an appetite and manners."

"I will bring both." She pursed her lips. "Red wine?"

He rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine. I give up. You can bring wine, but that's all."

"Thank you."

"I need to get back to work. I'll talk to you later."

She nodded and picked up her phone, calling Denise to reschedule her appointment. She had to help Hershel that day, and she still felt guilt over what happened to him. She didn't like to think about it, but it did happen, and of course he didn't blame her, but she blamed herself. She's the reason he has to use a cane when he walked. All because she didn't put a sign out. Anyway, Hershel needed help and after all he did for her and Sophia, she couldn't say no. That's probably why he didn't ask her. She overheard the conversation and instantly agreed to help. She didn't even know with what until later.

"Are you okay with that?"

 _"Carol, it's your appointment. Are you okay with it?"_

"Yeah. I will make it on Thursday. I just have a prior engagement. I'm sorry."

 _"_ _Don't be sorry. Life happens, and I'll see you when I see you. If you need to talk, give me a call. I'm always here for you."_

"I will. Thank you."

 _"So, have you given Daryl the number?"_

"Not just yet. I will. Soon."

 _"All right. Don't take too long."_

"I won't. Goodbye."

– – –

Sophia padded down the stairs. "Mom?"

"What?" She evened out the eggs and bacon she'd made for breakfast.

"I was wondering if I could help Hershel out with that animal adoption even. It's tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah. We could use the help."

"Great." Her eyes fell to the two plates. "Is Daryl here?"

"No. He's at home. This is for us. I was hoping we could have breakfast together."

"Sure. I'll make toast."

She smiled. "I'll get the apple butter."

"Ooh, we have some?" She picked up the loaf of bread. "My mouth just watered." She laughed.

"I know it's your favorite."

Sophia paused in making the toast. "Do you want to talk to me about something? You usually only go all out when you want to talk."

"Sophia." She set the jar on the counter. "I just want to have breakfast with my daughter, who I never see anymore."

"Are you okay? You're not sick, are you?" She set a hand over her heart. "Are you pregnant?"

"Yes, I am okay. All I want is to have a meal with you. The last time we ate together, all I saw was your phone."

"I was talking to Lizzie," she muttered then narrowed her eyes. "You didn't answer my other question."

"I'm not pregnant either. It'd be impossible."

"Impossible? So you and Daryl haven't...?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"That's none of your business. I thought you'd be more "eww" than "ooh"."

"Oh, I'm cringing inside, but you two seem so much closer. I thought... Well, never mind."

"Sex isn't the best thing two people can do together, Sophia. There are other things—"

"Okay, I'm more "eww" than "ooh" now." She held her hands up. "Could I just make the toast?"

Carol smiled. "I'll take the plates into the dining room. Leave your phone on the counter, please."

"Yes, Mother Dear."

Carol rolled her eyes and headed to the dining room with the two plates, and Sophia chuckled to herself, shaking her head. She made six pieces of toast since she could practically eat apple butter from the jar. She wished Mom had made biscuits, but there was still an entire jar, so maybe tomorrow. She placed the plate of toast and jar of apple butter on the table, sitting down.

"So, what are your plans for today?"

"I'm going to help paint some signs. Hershel's girls can't help, and I'm off today. It's better than lounging around."

"Mom, sometimes lounging around is okay."

"Okay, so what are your plans for these final days of spring break?"

"Well, I'm meeting Carl in the afternoon on Sunday, and then I'm going over to Patrick's. I might spend the night."

"At Patrick's?" Her nose crinkled.

"Is that a problem?"

"Why would you want to spend the night with Patrick?"

"Well, Iris will be there and Lizzie and Enid. Carl and Mika too. We've never had a sleepover together, and it'd be fun. It's his last high school spring break, and he wants to make the most of it. Please, Mom, let me go. I plan to spend my entire night with Iris and Lizzie. I even had polished my pregnant conversation skills for this very reason."

"I don't know. It's a school night."

"His aunt will be there, and I'm a good kid. I skipped school once, but that was for Lizzie. Mom, please. He's been my friend for years, and I really don't want to miss this. I'll call when I get here and before I go to sleep, and you can talk to Anna." She pleaded, "And Patrick would never miss school. His every cell is dedicated to going to school. I'll be there early on Monday morning."

She thought about it. "I suppose."

"Thank you."

"I'm driving you over there."

"Why?"

"Because I'm your mother, and I want to."

"That's fine. We're all good kids. Our plans involve eating lots of pizza and watching movies. We might even go outside to play basketball."

"Don't be a smartass."

"I'm not!"

"Your tone is."

She smiled. "Is Daryl coming to help you paint signs?"

"Why do you always bring up Daryl?"

"Cause he's your boyfriend, and I'm genuinely curious." She ate a piece of bacon.

"He has to work. It's just me and Hershel and his son."

She nodded. "Do you guys have dinner plans? I just want to know if I have to scrap together random items to make something eatable again."

"We do actually. Axel invited us over for dinner with his girlfriend."

"I bet Daryl is dying of excitement."

"Yeah, me too."

"I could come and make the tension even worse."

"No, please don't. I'm already planning on dragging Daryl there by the back of his shirt, and I'm making you dinner before I leave for dinner."

"Yeah, real food." She grinned. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Could we have dinner together tomorrow night?" Sophia peered at her mom. "You, me and Daryl? We haven't had dinner together since you started dating, and I've been busy. I think it'd be nice."

"Yeah, that would be nice."

"I have no real plans hence my asking you if I could help Hershel, and we haven't had a family meal in way too long. I'll even help cook."

"We're not the only ones suffering for that." Carol pointed down.

Sophia looked under the table and found Honey there. "Hi, Honey." She rubbed her head. "We've been bad owners, I know. I'm sorry. I will make it up to you. Do you wanna go to the park?"

Her ears shot up.

"Okay, let's go. After I eat." She picked up her fork and started on her eggs.

––

"How many signs do we need?" Carol set her third one out to dry.

"A few more." He looked over the ones she'd already made. "You seem to be enjoyin' yourself."

"I guess I am." She smiled. "It was kind of you to help out."

"If I can helps these animals find homes, I'd do just about anything."

"Sophia wants to help out. I said yes, is that okay?"

"Yeah, the more the merrier."

She nodded. "Daryl will help bring the animals over."

"Thank you, Carol."

"Anything I can do to help." She clasped her hands. "I'm just glad these animals have a chance to be adopted." She didn't want to think about the ones that weren't. She couldn't bring them all home. Sophia would kill her. The bills would kill her. Daryl wouldn't come over to her house anymore. He liked animals, but from the number she'd seen of how many will be there, she could guess he didn't want to co-own 45 animals.

"You can take a break. I'm going to check on Shawn."

She stepped outside to get some fresh air and stretched her arms. She gazed upward, wondering if Sophia had taken Honey to park. She could call her, but she knew Sophia likely did. Honey needed the affection right now. They were involved with work and their relationships, and it wasn't fair to her. Daryl was her number one fan at the moment, as he gave her bits of his meals and attention. He was good to her, something Carol and Sophia needed to make time to do as well.

It was strange to think about the distance between them. Sophia was spending more and more time with her friends, and Carol was happy that she had such great friends. They were good for her, helping shape her into a respectable and honest young woman who was still goofy and caring. They would be great for her when college started. They would all be in the same place, and they would endure similar struggles with studies and new people and classes. It would be difficult, knowing that this time next year would be her last spring break with Sophia, but it would have to happen. Sophia would come around for holidays and birthdays, but it wouldn't be the same.

She didn't like to think about Sophia growing up. It always been the two of them, even when it was the three of them. Carol was proud of her daughter, and she would always encourage her and her dreams. However to think about Sophia going off to college next summer and becoming an adult felt like a weight on her heart. She would cry when that day came. It would be a mixture of happiness and sorrow. They had overcome so much together, and that day would be the divide of their path. Sophia would begin her own journey and make her own mistakes and learn and grow; Carol would continue her life with Daryl and at the shelter.

Inhaling, she was relieved to know Andrea would be in the same boat as her, only she would be babysitting her grandchild. Maybe Carol could help out with that. She smiled to herself and entered the clinic to finish working on the signs. She only had a few more to make anyway.

––

"Okay, what's going on?" Iris narrowed her eyes at her parents and Shane. "You three are never together, so what's happening? Are you guys getting married now?" She gasped. "Is Carol pregnant?"

"No," Daryl replied. "She's not."

"And we're not." Andrea waved a finger in the space between her and Shane.

"Did someone die then? Was it Grandpa? Oh my God."

"No, no one's dead." Andrea set her hands on her daughter's shoulders. "Stop guessing, sweetie. It's not bad news."

She nodded. "Then what's going on?"

"We have a present for you," Shane answered.

"C'mon." Daryl motioned for her to follow him.

"A present?" She looked at her mom. "For me? Not the baby?"

"Yes, for you." She clasped her hand and guided Iris toward Daryl. "We've been working on this for months, and we had to make some adjustments for the baby."

"We were gonna wait till the shower to give it to you," Daryl explained. "But now's a good a time as any." He opened the back door and stepped out then Shane and Andrea and Iris.

In the backyard in a decent shade of tan and shiny enough for Iris to see her reflection—Shane's handiwork, no doubt—was a lightly used Mercury Sable. She felt like she'd seen this car before, but she wasn't sure. It was nice, and she didn't expect this at all. She was still trying to get her brain to work out that this was a gift. For her. From her parents. She had asked for her a car, but she honestly thought Mom would fight tooth and nail against her. Mom barely let her take Driver's Safety last semester. It was embarrassing, but she'd grown from that. She was going to let Iris drive. She was trusting Iris. A lot. She couldn't believe it.

"Well?"

"You actually bought me a car?" Iris murmured.

"Yes. It was Maggie's, but she got a new car. It had some issues, but Shane and Daryl helped me with them." She pointed to the backseat. "And it looks great with the car seat Shane bought."

Iris didn't move closer to see the car seat, just knotted her fingers together quietly.

"Is something wrong?" Daryl peered at her.

She shook her head. "No."

"You just don't seem very happy," Shane commented. "You said you wanted a car at dinner a couple nights ago. Did you change your mind?"

She shook her head again. "I didn't—change my mind."

"Then what is it?" Andrea stepped toward her.

Iris lifted her head and shrugged a shoulder. "I love it." She was shaking though, trying not to cry.

Andrea embraced her. "It's okay to cry. It'll happen over little things anyway."

She laughed. "I love it. Thank you guys so much!" She reached out for Daryl, and he wasn't a fan of group hugs, but he did it anyway. She smiled at him and then hugged Shane. "It's perfect."

"Here." He handed her the keys.

Andrea and Daryl agreed to let Shane be the one to give her the keys and refresh her memory on cars. Daryl was the expert, but it would be a good way for them to bond. Andrea had also made a deal that Daryl would be the first to hold their grandchild. He didn't really care about the deal. He would have agreed either way, but he didn't want Andrea to know that. She'd ask more and more of him, and he wanted to put those requests on hold for as long as he could. He had his hands full, and Shane wasn't going anywhere. Daryl and he didn't always get along, but for Iris, he would try. And for Carol, because if he didn't and he started to complain, she would give him that look. It wasn't disappointment, but it still made him feel bad. So he was trying, for them and himself.

"We're going to a movie tonight, and you're welcome to join us," Andrea offered.

"Nah, I got plans, but thanks. Maybe next time."

She nodded. "We'll find out the sex soon."

"Hmm?" He glanced at her.

"Of the baby."

"Mmm. What do you think?"

"Well, I think it'll be a boy."

"I think it'll be a girl," he replied.

"We'll see who's right." She smirked and checked her watch. "We should go if we want to catch that movie." She walked over to Shane and Iris.

Daryl watched them for a moment, knowing he needed to get home and change for his torture plans. Carol said they were dinner plans, but it was going to be torture. He liked Axel. He was a good guy, and he was good to Carol and the kids and parents at the shelter, but Daryl didn't want to spend an evening with him and his girlfriend. And he knew at one point in the evening Carol would throw him to the wolves to escape that woman. Axel told him time and again Holly was a talker, and Carol would sacrifice him to save herself. He just had a feeling.

"Wait." Iris caught him on his way out.

"Yeah?"

"Shane's going to be giving me driving lessons." She intertwined her fingers. "And Mom's going to help me pass the test."

"Yeah." He nodded.

"Where—where do you fit in?" She searched his eyes.

"I'll be around."

She nodded. "Thank you." She hugged him. "I love the car, and I really appreciate what you did."

"It was all of us."

"And I've already thanked Mom and Shane." She released him. "I really do love it."

"I'm happy you love it."

"I'll see you later."

He reached into his pocket and handed her a key ring with a keychain on it. "For the car key and your house key."

"Thanks." She smiled as she accepted the gift. "I have to change, but have a nice night."

"You too."

She watched him pull out, feeling his reluctance as he did, and she hoped his plans were too horrid. She didn't know where he was going, but it had to be better than staying home alone and working. Or whatever he did. She wasn't positive. He didn't watch TV much, so he must walk his property a lot. She should go out there and hang out with him when she got her driver's license.

Pulling the key from her pocket, her eyes fell on the keychain Daryl had given her. It was one of those keychains that held pictures, and the picture was of them. She was a baby, maybe two, and he was holding her, looking down at her with such love. They were in her nursery from the wallpaper, and the picture was well kept. She could make it out well, like he'd just had it printed. She didn't think Daryl kept pictures of her. There were none in his house, so either he had pictures saved somewhere or he kept this one somewhere safe.

"Iris?" Andrea called to her.

"Coming, Mom!" She held the picture close and smiled. That's where he fit, even when he wasn't around.

* * *

 ** _I just want to wish you all happy holidays. May the new year bring amazing things to you all!_**


	22. I'll Always Support You

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing._**

––

"Before Sophia comes down, I want to talk to you about something." She knotted her fingers together. "I meant to talk to you about this a while ago, but things came up."

"What is it?" He straightened on the arm of the couch and met her eyes. "Carol?"

"Denise and I think it would benefit you greatly to see a therapist."

He stared at her, not speaking.

"Just, just a couple of times a week. You have so much to work through, and you can't do it alone. Nobody can work through pain from the past like that alone. I can't, and Sophia can't. Even Merle can't do it alone. I know it's a lot to ask, and you don't even have to say yes, but here's the number if you consider it." Her heart was racing as he didn't take the number, and she felt dizzy with fear that began to choke her. She didn't want to know what he was thinking, how angry or upset he was.

His gaze moved to the piece of paper she was holding out to him, and he stood up. "You talked to Merle about this?"

"No! No, I just know he sees Denise. We talked about it during our dinner, and even if we had discussed this, it would've come from a place of love and concern. Like it is now. I want you to be okay, and I know you're not big on it, but talking helps. Please just consider it."

He was silent for a long time then he exhaled, reached out and accepted the number from her. "Okay. I'll do it."

"What?"

"I'll call the number, set up an appointment."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, it can't be any worse than this dinner."

"It won't be that bad," Carol argued. "And she's making your favorite."

"Canceled plans?"

"Daryl." Though she was relieved to see him acting like himself, even more so relieved that he was going to set up an appointment and seek help himself. She was proud of him.

"You didn't say favorite food," he grumbled.

"Just try and behave. It won't be that long of a dinner, I promise. And if you feel too uncomfortable, we'll leave. We'll say Sophia needs us or Iris needs us. Okay?"

"Okay." He smiled a little. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you." She leaned up and kissed him. "You look handsome. I'm glad you dressed up for tonight."

"I figured you'd want me too, and I haven't done laundry yet so it's all I had."

She smiled. "Just learn to accept a compliment."

"Thank you."

"Are you ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be."

"I have to drop Sophia off at Patrick's, but that should only take a minute. I also have to pick up a bottle of red wine. I meant to do it yesterday, but I was sidetracked."

"It's fine. The more we delay tonight, the happier I'll be." He smirked at her expression. "I'm jokin'."

Carol looked for her keys, complaining under her breath about how she wished she had a dish or something to put her keys in to keep track of them. Daryl was giving Honey love, and Carol wondered if Honey took her keys. She had a ball on them, and Honey loved to play with it when Carol wasn't looking. She checked Honey's bed for the keys, but they weren't there. She walked back to the kitchen and sighed, arms folded. She saw the smirk on Daryl's lips and narrowed her eyes.

"Here." He held out her keys. "It's hard to tease you."

"Daryl." She snatched the keys. "You're worse than my child."

He grinned with his eyes, and she shook her head at him, repressing a smile.

Sophia joined them with her overnight bag and smirked at the sight of Daryl. "Kiss ass much?"

"Sophia." Carol glared.

"Like he would ever wear that for himself, and I was just teasing. He knows that." She adjusted her bag. "And he looks like he could use a laugh, and now he's grinning. Sorta. So thanks for making that scrunchy face."

Carol repressed the urge to roll her eyes. "Let's just go."

Sophia and Daryl shared a soundless laugh when Carol turned her back, and they left the house. Sophia was asked a few questions about what she would be doing, and Daryl got all weird when he found out she would be spending the night with Patrick and Carl. It's like he didn't hear that four other girls would be there. It was like she stepped into someone else's normal life, one where the loving and overbearing father tried to snuff out any attempts of male contact. It was bizarre, but it was nice to know Daryl cared enough to demand all the details of the evening. It was kind of hilarious too. She'd never seen him like this. If she was observing this conversation from the outside, Daryl sounded like her father. That was kind of awesome.

"Will Anna be there?" He peered back at Sophia.

"Yes, so will Mika, Lizzie, Iris and Enid." She tried to get her mom's attention, but she was distracted by something else. She knew Mom had to be smiling inside, because Sophia was trying her best not to bust out giggling. It made her strangely happy to hear him worry. "Patrick and Carl have his room, and the girls have the living room." After we sneak into Patrick's old house, cough cough.

"You and Carl ain't together anymore, right?"

"Well, we talked about it over lunch." She knocked her knees together, biting her bottom lip when she wasn't speaking to try and hide the grin "I still have things to work out, and he said that was fine. Besides my therapist said it would be better if I didn't date right now."

"No, she didn't," Carol corrected. "She said it was up to you."

"Yeah, but she said in her opinion, I shouldn't."

"Her _unprofessional_ opinion."

She crossed her arms and huffed. "You weren't there for the whole session, so how do you know?"

"I overheard her departing words."

"Eavesdropper."

She chuckled. "Whatever makes you feel better."

"Hey, could we stop and eat something to drink?" She leaned toward them. "I didn't grab a bottle of water before we left the house, and I'm thirsty."

"Sure."

"So, what are y'all gonna be doin'?" Daryl interrogated Sophia. "At this sleepover."

"We're going to eat pizza and watch a lot of movies, talk and take pictures, and we might even sneak out to get our first tattoos."

"What?"

She laughed. "I'm kidding. I can barely stand to get blood drawn, let alone have someone jab a needle repeatedly into my arm for a tattoo."

Carol snickered under her breath and pulled over at a gas station. Sophia ran in and bought a bottle of pop. She returned and their next stop was Patrick's. They watched her entered, Anna waved to them, and they drove off. Picking up the wine Carol had begged to bring then Daryl called to get the instructions to Axel's place. It wasn't far, and Daryl felt a knot twisting in his stomach as they neared the place. He didn't want to do this, but he would grin and bear it for Carol. Maybe Iris could call and free them from tonight. He could text her.

Axel's apartment had been taken over by Holly, which was a good thing. When they walked in, they almost instantly felt at home, and whatever she was cooking made their mouths water. It gave Carol hope tonight wouldn't be a total disaster. Daryl was still tense, but not as much as when they were in the car. She was pleased to see it, and she laced her fingers through his, giving him an encouraging and thankful smile as Axel moved the pillows off the couch so they'd have somewhere to sit.

She handed him the wine. "Here you are."

"Thank you. We appreciate it."

Daryl hid the expression he gave by ducking his head when he lowered himself down onto the couch, knowing Carol would have glared at him or hit him on the chest with a scold. He was going to be on his best behavior. Unless Holly drove him insane then he was going to speak in a series of grunts to throw her off.

"Holly will be out in a minute." He held the bottle in both hands. "Could I get you anything to drink?"

"No, thank you." Carol set her coat in her lap.

"Some water, actually," Daryl answered. "No ice."

He nodded and stepped into the kitchen.

"How are you feeling?" she muttered.

"Fine."

"Now why don't I believe that?" He smirked, and she smiled. "You know you didn't have to do this, right? I don't want to make you uneasy, and if you become any more rigid, I'll have to suspect you've rust and find some oil, Tin Man."

"I'm fine," he repeated.

"You really don't seem fine."

He wasn't. He didn't like the idea of double dates. He lived his privacy, and he liked having Carol alone. Axel was a good guy and Holly sounded...well, sweet and loud. He would be fine once they were past the awkward silence that always managed to creep into the room. And to be honest he was more worried about Carol's comfort. She kept focusing on him, and he wanted to know what was bugging her. He thought it might have to do with Sophia, but he had his doubts. He would have to ask her about it when they left.

Axel returned with the glass of water and Holly. She brought appetizers with her. Axel introduced her to them and them to her, and she insisted that Carol come help her cook. Carol had laughed and tried to politely decline, but Holly was unyielding. That left Axel and Daryl alone in the living room, just like work without the paycheck or kids. Honestly Daryl was grateful to have this moment alone with Axel. He needed to talk to someone, and Merle was shit at advise. A tree would be more helpful than Merle, and he trusted Axel.

"She's been talking about this all day," Axel commented. "She's—we're happy to have you over. Both of you."

"She seems real nice." He drank from his glass. "Axel?"

"Hmm?"

"I got a question for you." He cleared his throat. "And an apology."

"Apology?" His brows met as he looked at Daryl. "What for?"

"For how I treated you when we first started workin' together." He set the glass on the coffee table. "I was an ass, and I didn't need to be. It wasn't you. It was your relationship with Carol—I didn't trust it. I didn't know you, and I assumed the worst, acted like a dick, and I'm sorry."

"What do you mean, you didn't trust it?"

He met Axel's eyes. "Thought you were tryin' for more. I know you asked her out once, and I didn't think you were over...whatever feelings you had."

Axel nodded, his eyes moving from Daryl's face as he straightened. "Hmm."

"Carol's...a hard woman to get over, and I'm—I was used to things I love bein' taken from me." He rubbed his palms together. "I just want you to know that I'm sorry for my behavior. You didn't deserve it."

"Well, I'm glad you told me, and of course I accept your apology." He shifted on the couch. "Carol is a good friend, and I wouldn't change that for anything."

"I know that now. I'm grateful for you bein' there for her."

"Don't mention it."

"You and Holly seem happy," Daryl noted.

"Yeah. We are." He smiled to himself. "How about you and Carol?"

"We're...good. We're takin' it slow, and that's fine, but..." he trailed off. "About my question...it's just between us, all right?"

"All right, but if it causes problems with my relationship with Carol, I don't know if I can keep it between us."

"It won't. Unless you can't keep a secret." Something else Merle didn't do well.

"I can."

He glanced at the door to the kitchen to make sure Carol wasn't coming out and leaned toward Axel, his voice low, and he began to ask Axel for advise on something he'd been thinking about for a long time. He didn't have anyone else he could ask, so he just told Axel his idea and asked for his opinion. Axel might not have much experience, but whatever he had was more than Daryl, and Axel was honest. Daryl respected that, and he would consider what Axel told him. He would still talk to Hershel when he had the chance though.

– – –

Iris looked over the text on her phone, pressing her lips together, feeling the splash of water from the inflatable ball Enid and Mika were using to play volleyball against Lizzie and Sophia in the pool. Carl and Patrick were serving drinks in a few minutes so it was just the girls in the pool. It was getting dark, and they had lit some candles and were contemplating starting a bond fire, like at Daryl's. It was really nice, and Iris wanted to be awake for it this time.

"Are you coming in?" Sophia pulled herself out of the pool to get something to drink. "Iris?"

"Hmm?" She lifted her eyes then shook her head. "Yeah, yeah, just give me a second."

"Did Andrea text you? Do you have to leave?"

"No, no." She turned her phone off and set it in her purse. "Just looking over a list of baby names. It's nothing."

Sophia didn't believe that. "You look pale. Do you wanna talk about anything?"

"Nope." She shrugged a shoulder. "You?"

"Yes, I do. I want to talk about how you've been sitting in that chair for the past hour. Go play for me, possibly help me and Lizzie catch up to Enid and Mika. Or, you know, beat them." She leaned in and murmured, "I think they're cheating."

"Or you just suck."

"It could be that too." Iris laughed. "Go. Please."

"Okay."

Sophia smiled and sipped her drink, seeing Iris' phone sticking out of her purse. She glanced over at the girls to see they were already deeply focused on the game, and she wondered what Iris had really been reading. She knew it couldn't be from her other grandmother. There was no way she would have her number, and Iris would have told her about it. Maybe. Iris told her about meeting her grandmother, so she'd have no reason to hide a conversation, even a one-sided conversation.

She reached down and grabbed the comb from Iris' purse and headed to the bathroom. She would ask her when they ate dinner. She looked like she needed to talk about it, and Patrick was busy with Carl in the kitchen. They were making some punch that Carl's parents had at their anniversary party, and Carl had his butt handed to him by the girls at volleyball. Plus Mika kept asking if he would give her piggyback rides through the pool. He might as well get used to it. Judith would eventually ask the same thing. She might even ask. It looked like fun, and she didn't have a brother to ask.

"Hey, good. We need a hand." Carl waved her toward the kitchen.

"With what? Your little experiment?"

"Yes."

She smirked. "What is it anyway?"

"Come find out."

She followed him back to the kitchen where Patrick was wiping up the mess they had made, and she saw a bowl of punch with a lump of sherbet floating in it. She narrowed her eyes, but Carl made her a glass. It was better than it looked, and it wasn't super sweet either. She liked it. Mika would love it and attack the lime section. Girl loved lime-flavored things. And pecans.

"Get the cups, Patrick's got the door, and I've got the bowl."

"Okay." She swiped the cups from the counter and headed back outside.

Carl set the bowl down inside the house by the back door where Sophia also set the cups, and Patrick told them the drinks were ready. It was easier to avoid bugs in the punch this way. That, and Patrick didn't want to risk someone breaking the good crystal. For people who were selling their house, they didn't care about what they left behind. It was weird, almost weird enough for Sophia to question if they were moving. Patrick wouldn't lie about that, but they might have lied to Patrick about moving. They were clearly assholes, so it was possible.

She couldn't imagine her mom and her like that. The distance and manipulation and cruelty, the lies and threats. It was insane how parents could treat their child when they didn't agree with them. You gave them life and loved them until suddenly they're their own person and not fitting to the image you had for them. Patrick wasn't the perfect little carbon copy therefore he must be thrown to the wolves because they can't threaten him back to who they wanted him to be. Disgusting.

She was happy to be here for him, to support him and everything he was doing. Without them, Patrick's life would be truly miserable. His aunt was amazing, but she might not have done something if Patrick hadn't asked. She didn't want to know where he'd be in ten years if they'd never met. If the Greenes hadn't been so kind, if Phillip hadn't married Andrea and got relocated, if Rick had sent Carl to another school, Patrick would be an entirely different person. It gave her goosebumps to think how simple it was to change the course of someone's life.

"I got you a refill." Carl held out a red cup to her.

"Thanks." She accepted it. "Having fun?"

"I ate an entire container of pudding. It was 12 ounces. I feel sick."

"What?" She laughed, covering her mouth.

"I got twenty bucks out of it."

"Impressive what you'll do for twenty bucks." She smiled at him. "Do you want to sit down?"

"I'm fine. I just hate pudding now."

"I'll bet."

"He's having a good time, so that counts for something." He leaned in the doorway. "And you?"

"Yeah, it's nice to have everyone together—and not to study." She shook her head. "It's bizarre to think he won't be here next year. At school with us."

"We'll have the rest of the group," he commented. "Then you and I will have college."

"Oh, we made college plans? Did I miss that?"

"N—no. No, I just—" He flushed and started over. "Iris is taking a year off before college, and Enid is going out of state, and Lizzie is undecided for now. She could come with us."

She nodded. "I have to get a job this summer. I'm going to get an apartment, and my plan was to get an apartment with Iris, but I guess she and Patrick will find something. Well, maybe Lizzie can help me with rent and bills. Or I can just stay at home and not be completely broke."

"Sounds like a good plan. I'm probably gonna stay in the dorm. I love my family, but I need some space. My dad will understand. Mom will be upset. Well, either way she'll be upset, I'm growing up."

"Mom will be sad when I leave, and I'm so thankful Daryl is there for her. It...feels better knowing she has someone there. I know I'll be a phone call away, but it's not the same."

"You still have next year, so feel shitty then."

"True." She chewed lightly on the rim of her cup and exhaled deeply. It made her ache to think about leaving home. She used to look forward to that day. When she was a kid, about nine, she was dying for that day to come. Of course they were living with Ed then. She knew that if she left the house, Mom would leave the house too. Sophia had a plan. She was going to make Mom leave, no matter how scared she was. She wasn't going to leave her behind, and they were going to get an apartment and be happy for once. She didn't think out the fact that Ed would have come after them and done God only knows what. She was pleased it didn't turn out that way. She couldn't imagine it working out. She was thankful to never know one way or the other. Ed was dead, and they were alive, living life well and feeling joy almost every day, even in small waves. She couldn't ask for more. And now Mom had Daryl and Andrea and Karen. Friends and family who would look after her when Sophia did leave for college. It was all working out.

Carl noted the look in Sophia's eyes as she nibbled unknowingly on the rim of her red cup, and he cleared his throat, knowing where her thoughts were. "C'mon, let's not think about this. I'll race you to the pool."

"Hmm." She set her cup down on the table by the punch bowel. "Sure you can win, pudding boy?"

"You may be taller, but I'm faster."

"I guess we'll see." She gave him a backward push and took off toward the pool.

"I knew you were gonna do that!" He went after her.

– – –

Carol rubbed the back of her neck, trying to smile when Holly asked Daryl if he had wanted to be a maintenance worker when he was younger, taking a drink of water from her glass. Axel mirrored her, only he was rubbing his thumb over his beer bottle.

"Nah. It just happened. I wanted to take care of my daughter."

"Iris, right? Axel told me about her. She lives with her mom."

"Yeah."

"Were you two married?"

 _Oh, God._ Carol suddenly wished she'd accepted the offer for wine with dinner.

"It's...complicated."

"Oh."

"You have a daughter too," Holly turned to Carol. "Sophia?"

"Yes. She's sixteen, a year younger than Daryl's daughter, but they get along well. They're practically sisters."

"Well, that's good." She inhaled. "Since your daughter's almost grown, do you think you'll do anything else, Daryl?"

"I've been thinkin' about it," he confessed.

"Really?" Carol and Axel inquired.

"Yeah." He nodded. "I could use some new scenery, and Axel's got everythin' covered at the shelter. I'd stop by now and then just to check in, but I think it's time I move on from maintenance."

"You never said anything like that to me," Carol said, her tone soft but still audible to table.

Holly rose. "Dessert?"

"I'll give you a hand." Axel gather his and Daryl's plate and Holly hers and Carol's, and they departed quickly from the room.

Daryl met Carol's eyes. "I've been thinkin' about it lately. I just came to a decision a while ago with Axel. I know we should've talked, and we still can. At home later."

"No, it's your profession, and if you want to change it then do. If you can find something that makes you happy, something you love and not of convenience then I support you."

He gave a small smile. "Thanks. It's good to know you feel that way."

"Of course I'll support you, Daryl." She set her hand over his. "Just not financially at the moment."

"I'm good. I got money saved, and I ain't gonna leave till I finish my current project and talk to Maggie."

"Well, let me know what you decide to do after." She rubbed her thumb over his wrist. "Do you have a plan?"

"Sorta. I'll let you know how it goes."

"Just don't do anything crazy."

"I won't." He curled his fingers around hers. "I wanna do somethin' with you tomorrow."

"What's that?"

"It's a surprise."

"Am I going to like it?"

"I hope."

"That's incredibly vague but sure. Just let me know when tomorrow."

"Wear somethin' old," he suggested. "Like worn old."

"Oh, God, are we cleaning out your basement?"

He laughed at her expression. "No, no, it's gonna be fun. Well, it was the first time. I hopin' the second time goes just as well."

"First time? We've done this before?"

"Not us, but me and someone else."

Her brows rose. "Someone else? Another woman?"

"A female, yeah. She loved it. She was real good too, but it was messy." He smirked at her. "What?"

"Nothing." She shrugged a shoulder. "It's nothing."

He snickered. "All right."

Carol narrowed her eyes at him then Holly and Axel returned with dessert, Daryl kept a hold of her hand, and she wondered what he and this "female" did that was fun but messy. She didn't know who he was talking about, or what even, but she had an idea it wasn't what she was trying without any luck not to think. He wouldn't smirk like that if it was what she thought it was. Or maybe he did. She would reserve judgment for when she had the answer.

– – –

A squeal echoed in the room, Daryl snorted under his breath and ducked his head, and Carol groaned, her hand slipping on the slick bowl in front of her. It was sort of a bowl anyway. She was new this entire process; throwing she believed it was called. It was indeed messy, and so far she was bad at it. Terrible even. Sophia had a better grasp on this than she did. Iris might be a level above Carol, and it was wrong, but it made her happy to know someone else couldn't work this wheel-head. She was not a potter, that was for sure.

Daryl bent down beside Iris. "Need a hand?"

"No, I'm fine." She forced a smile.

Carol lifted her eyes to Daryl and Iris. She knew now he meant Iris was the female he brought here the last time. She could tell Iris had no clue how to do this, and she was relieved that Daryl didn't appear sad. He seemed to have Ella and Iris separated in his mind now. They were the same girl, but they weren't at the same time. Either way she was his daughter, and he was having fun teaching her. He was really jumping head first into his role as a father, even for Sophia. She kept thinking about the car ride, and she couldn't help grinning.

"You don't have to try and have fun."

"I am having fun. I just...can't...grasp this. I think I'd have better luck just turning this thing."

"Here. I'll help her." Sophia wiped her hands on her old shorts. "I'm not the best, but I need to look away from mine so when I see it, it's with fresh eyes. I can't tell if it's how I want it to look, or if I'm just sick of looking of it so my mind is telling it looks how I want."

"How did you get this place?" Iris asked her dad. "I mean, without the teacher? And with only us?"

"Maggie knows the teacher," was all he said.

She looked him over before nodding. "When do we eat?"

"At one." He pointed to the lump in front of her. "We gotta have these done before then."

"Great. Did I mention I love this?"

Sophia laughed. "You're too rough."

"Or I have no skill with pottery," she offered.

"Maybe that too, but try. Andrea's buying flowers for your vase, so we have to make a vase that can at least hold water."

"I can steal one of us already made ones, or—or I can buy one."

"No," Sophia and Daryl replied in unison.

Daryl left Sophia with her and returned to Carol, sitting beside her and looking over her...work. She peered at him, and he smiled then leaned in. "You look good covered in clay."

"Shut up." But she laughed. "I know I mentioned wanting a bowl for my keys, but I think buying one would be easier. And prettier."

"Never done this before?"

"The closest I came was Play-Doh."

He scooted closer and set his hand over her. "When I came here with Iris, the teacher said to let the clay slide between your fingers. Like this."

"How old was she?"

"Almost six."

"So just before the accident?" He nodded. "And you remember what she told you eleven years later?"

"It was one of my favorite memories with Ella," he answered. "I remember almost everythin'."

"Will you bring your grandchild here?"

"I dunno." He gazed at the bowl they were making. "I might."

"I think you and Andrea should. It would be great for you guys."

"By that time, Shane and Andrea might be married so it'll be the three of us."

"Maybe, but it doesn't have to be. It could be three of you or just the two of you."

"Or the five of us?" His eyes moved to hers, and she flushed. "Just...a suggestion."

She grinned. "I'd love for it to be the five of us."

He kissed her, his free hand around her waist to pull her closer, and she set her hand on her cheek, forgetting that it was covered with clay. While he felt it on his cheek, he didn't pull away, just smiled against her lips.

"Not to be rude, but you have children here who don't want to see you make out," Iris teasingly called out.

Carol broke the kiss and chuckled. "Why don't we focus on making a bowl for my keys? After you wash your face."

"You got this?" He nodded his chin to the bowl.

"I think so, yes."

They tried to relish in the making of slightly sideways pieces of art, Sophia played music on her phone via a radio app, and it was funny to watch the girls goof around and sing purposefully off-key to the music. Carol noted that Daryl seemed to be enjoying himself and that made her happy, just seeing that small smile on his lips as he helped Iris shape her vase. They needed this time together—all of them—and it warmed her to think they'd be having dinner with Sophia and Iris as well later. With what the coming months will bring, this time was precious. She would make an effort to spend more time like this. They were all family through somebody, and they were going to spend more family time together. She always wanted a big family, and she was grateful for this one.


	23. Future Plans And Support

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing._**

––

"I think they're asleep," Carol murmured to Daryl, referring to Sophia and Iris who were bunched up on the couch, sharing the blanket Carol had brought. The movie they had picked out was playing in the background, and Daryl seemed more interested in his thoughts than it anyway.

"Looks like it." He shifted against her. "I don't think we should move 'em."

"I guess this turned into a sleepover." She smirked.

"Guess so." He met her eyes.

"I'll lock the doors and tuck the girls in. Why don't you turn off the TV?"

"There's another blanket in the hall closet." He gestured to the girls. "I know Sophia gets cold easy, and Iris is a blanket hog."

"Okay." She rose and headed down the hall to collect the blanket.

Daryl flicked off the TV and glanced out the backdoor, seeing Merle was still outside. He stayed by the sliding door as Carol did her rounds of locking, and he stepped back when she tossed the extra blanket over the girls. He hit the lights and found her hand, guiding her through the darkness with hushed laughter. They had learned from the last time, but still Daryl managed to trip over Sophia's purse, almost slamming Carol against the wall. The only thing that stopped them from colliding was Daryl's hand hitting the wall. The rest of the trip was smooth, and they lied down together.

"What's Merle doing outside?" Carol snuggled closer to him, her hand across his abdomen, her head on his chest.

"I dunno. He's been out there since we got home."

"Should we have checked on him?"

"He seems busy with whatever it is."

She nodded. "I hope he can sleep with all the wood that's in his room. Why is there so much wood in his room?"

"It's for the crib. I wanted to build it in the basement, but the door's too small. His room has the widest doorway, and he's rarely in there."

"You should give him a basket of fruit or muffins or something, as a thank you for letting you take all of his bedroom for your grandchild's crib."

He snorted. "Sure."

"I'm serious, Daryl."

"We'll see."

She shook her head. "I'll do it then. Does he like blueberry or chocolate muffins? Or some other kind?"

"Merle will eat anythin' you put in front of him."

"I'll try to find a variety for him then."

He exhaled deeply. "I made an appointment."

She pushed herself up onto her elbow. "Are... you serious?" He nodded. "When?"

"Next Monday."

"That's amazing, Daryl." She smiled at him. "I'm really proud of you. Are you nervous?"

"A bit."

"If you need me to drive you, or to just be there with you, I will."

"I might take you up on that offer. Till then why don't we try and get some sleep."

"Good night."

He kissed her forehead. "Good night."

– – –

"So, I'll be working at Hershel's this summer." Sophia buzzed around the kitchen, making a plan for the future with her mom's input. "Iris will need help with the baby, but she has you, Andrea, Daryl and Shane, so I won't have to babysit. That eliminates any babysitting money from her at least."

"Sophia, you can't take care of a newborn anyway."

"You don't know that."

"I do know that, but it's cute that you think you can." She smiled sweetly at her daughter, who glared in return. "You don't have to make money all in one summer. You have two summers and six months of weekends, plus spring break and such. I can take out a loan, or you may get a scholarship. It'll work out."

"I just want to make sure it does, even if I don't get a scholarship. I don't want you to take out a loan for me. I'll do it if I have to."

"You need to have fun too."

"I'll work it in somewhere."

"Sophia."

"Fine. I'll have fun." She sat down on the couch. "Is there any way I can make money while having fun?"

"Why don't you get cleaned up for school? It's seven, and you've paced holes in the rug."

"Okay." She headed upstairs.

Carol shook her head and frowned. She wished she could afford to put Sophia through college. She had always felt guilty that she never would be able to. Even before she made her own money, she wasn't sure how Sophia was going to pay for college. She used to pray Sophia received a scholarship and would be free from that house, from Ed. She didn't know if he had any plans for Sophia once she turned eighteen, if he had saved any money, but she was grateful to never find out, even if it was good. She didn't want Ed to touch any part of Sophia's future. Unlike any good father, he would use it against her somehow, demand favors in return.

Her stomach clenched, and she shook her head, exhaling deeply. She grasped her cup and refilled it with coffee. She didn't want to think about that anymore. It used to be her entire world, but it's grown since then. _She'd_ grown since then. Honestly, if Ed was somehow alive and came through that door, commanding her and Sophia to come with him... Well, she'd like to think she would tell him to go to hell. And maybe even whack him with a cast-iron skillet.

She rubbed the back of her neck and closed her eyes, hearing Sophia upstairs, and she tried to shake the feeling inside of her. Ed was dead and buried. He had been for the five years. It was over. She didn't need to feel afraid. Nothing of Ed was ever going to taint their lives again. Sophia was nothing like him, and Daryl was an amazing father figure to her. She didn't know if he realized that yet, but that's how Sophia had seen him for a long time. And here lately he's acting more and more like her father. She needed to thank him for many things, and she wasn't sure how to even begin.

The front door opened, Honey ran inside, and Daryl set the leash on the counter. He saw Carol leaning against the counter, stress etched on her face, and he walked over to her, standing behind her. He leaned forward, his arms covering hers, and he rested his chin lightly on her shoulder.

"It'll be fine," he murmured.

"What will be?" She smiled, eyes still closed. "You don't know if something is wrong."

"I can tell by your face, and I'm sure it'll be fine."

"I'm sure it will be too." She opened her eyes and grasped his index finger with her pinkie. "How was your walk?"

"It was fine. Honey led me around the block twice, but it was fine." She laughed. "You ought to get a stronger leash, by the way."

"I'll have to add it to my list."

"I gotta get home and get ready for work," he told her, "but I'd like to have dinner. Just the two of us."

"I'd like that. We haven't had dinner just the two of us in a while, and Sophia's going over to Samuels' tonight. We can come back here after, give Merle some space."

He nodded and kissed her temple. "I'll see you at seven. I'll pick you up here."

"Where are we going?"

"You'll just have to wait and find out then."

She made a face. "Okay, but if I don't it, can I complain?"

"No."

She laughed once. "I'll see you tonight." She drank from her cup, remembering she needed to stop by Andrea's. She had to drop off a cake pan so Andrea and Amy could practice making a cake for Iris' baby shower. Apparently the theme somehow involved cake where the sex of the baby would be revealed. It was Amy's idea, and Andrea was sucked into it but only Carol had the proper pans.

Sophia headed out to school, saying bye to her mom, and Carol stumbled out shortly after, giving Honey a treat and a goodbye kiss on the nose. She drove to Andrea's and handed over the pan. Shane had already gone to work, and Iris was lingering in the kitchen, gazing out the window with a cup of what she knew had to be tea.

"We have a meeting with the principal," Andrea said, adjusting her blazer. "And she didn't get much sleep so I made her some tea."

"I'll just sleep in class," Iris murmured, being honest.

"Go get your coat and wait in the car. I'll be right there."

"Okay." She flashed Carol a sleepy smile. "Hey, Carol."

"Hi, sweetie." She returned her smile.

Andrea shook her head as Iris dragged her feet out the front door. "I have to go, but could you do me a favor?"

"Sure, I don't have to be at work in an hour."

"Ha ha. Merle's upstairs, measuring for the nursery, and I need you to let him out."

"You don't trust him?"

"No, I do. I just don't trust him to lock up."

"Oh. He does forget to lock doors."

"He lives in the middle of nowhere, and Daryl always makes sure the door is locked. Please? He'll be down in five minutes tops."

"All right."

"Thank you." She grinned. "For the pan too."

"You're welcome. Go get her to school. Have a good day at work."

"You too. There's coffee and danishes. Or if you want milk, you know where it is. Help yourself, just don't touch the protein bars. They're pretty grainy."

She smiled. "I already ate."

"Okay. Bye."

Carol huffed and clasped her hands, checking her watch. She climbed the stairs to pop in on Merle, and he was shaking his head at the colors painted on the walls. They were both the same color really, and they weren't fitting. Shane must have picked them. She hoped Shane picked them. Or Patrick even. Andrea wouldn't have, and Iris... If she was exhausted enough, perhaps.

"Hey." She smiled at him.

"Hey." He nodded back. "Here to make sure I don't steal the good silver?"

"Andrea has the crystal. Amy has the silver." She crossed her arms. "And no."

"Shame. I really wanted that silver." He smirked. "You look good. Somethin' happen?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary."

"So, nothing happened with you and Daryl then?"

"Merle," she started.

"Please, I see the way you look at each other. I'm surprised your panties haven't caught fire."

"Merle!" Her cheeks burned red, and he busted out laughing. "Must you always focus on sultry things in a relationship that doesn't involve you?"

"If it's all nice and neat, you ain't doin' it right," he retorted.

"You know I'm deciding now I'm going to work, so you should go."

He laughed. "Don't be so shy, Mouse. I'm just about done."

"Mouse?"

"Well, Goldilocks didn't seem right." He smirked at her again.

"You have two minutes." She smiled at him though, scoffing and shaking her head.

––

"So, did we decide on having a party for Patrick's graduation or not?" Sophia leaned against the locker beside Iris'. "Just us, not with our parents."

"I don't think so." She looked at Sophia. "Can we not talk about that right now?"

"What do you want to talk about?"

She shrugged a shoulder. "What are you doing for that paper?"

"Ugh, the rough draft is due Monday, isn't it?" Iris nodded. "I don't even have the brain space for that. I'm focusing on summer jobs. At least I have a car."

"And a plan."

"Yes, I have a plan too." She smiled. "How are your driving lessons coming?"

"Nowhere. I haven't had a chance. Shane's been busy, and I have to bring my grade up in first, or it's summer school."

"We can study sometime. I'm passing."

"I'm fine. I'll be home alone tonight, so I should be able to concentrate."

"Alone? Where will Andrea and Shane be?"

"At Shane's parents' house. They wanted me to come, but I don't want to meet his parents. I don't think I can handle anymore looks from strangers."

"Looks? Who's giving you look?"

"Anybody with eyes." She slammed her locker door shut. "At least you and our friends look me in the eyes. It's nice to know some things don't change."

"Is it Molly?"

"No, surprisingly it's not Molly." She shook her head. "Don't worry about it. I just want Mom to make a good first impression. Or second impression, and having your pregnant sixteen-year-old daughter there doesn't help."

"Iris, she's not ashamed of you, and it's not like you did it on purpose."

"Sophia, that just means I'm impulsive and don't give a shit about consequences."

"It doesn't mean that."

"It does! And if they don't think that, it's something worse. Do you know how many times I've ever people say things like, "She got herself pregnant" or "She's ruined her life"? They think I can't hear them, but I can. I don't want this to rub off on my mom. Dad doesn't give a shit, and he'd just snap at them, but Mom cares about her reputation. I don't need her to feel like crap because of this. She'll try to protect me, and I don't need protecting." She let out a defeated sigh. "I have to get to class. I'll talk to you later."

"Iris." Sophia expected her to stay, but she slipped into the crowed and shuffled down the hall. Sophia groaned and slumped against the lockers. She didn't know Iris felt this way, or that people said those things about her. She wondered what other things they kept to themselves or didn't say loud enough for her to hear. It broke her heart to see Iris like this. She needed to do something.

Carl broke free from the stream of students and smiled at Sophia. "Hey, you're in my way."

"This isn't your locker."

"No, but I'm friends with the guy who has this locker. I keep my third period book in here, and my lunch if I bring it." He dug out his book and binder. "It's easier than forcing my way through that to my locker."

"I know what you mean. I use Iris' locker all the time."

"B isn't that far from G in the alphabet, but that gap is like four miles of hell in these halls."

"Imagine being P." She smirked. "Hey, I need to talk to Patrick. Where is he?"

"Probably in the computer lab."

"I'll have to ask my teacher if I can go there to work out a report. We earned a free day in third."

"No, it's a makeup test day."

"I took all my tests and got decent grades so it's a free day for me."

"I'm not so lucky."

"I'll wish you As."

"Thanks. I'll need it. I didn't study."

"Carl!"

He laughed. "I'm only half-joking."

"You only half-studied?"

"No, no. I...studied the wrong worksheet for an hour, and I just got the correct one from Patrick."

"Dear God, how have you passed the last three years?"

He shut the locker door. "My pretty face?" She rolled her eyes. "I have a good memory. I know most of it, so I'm not too worried."

"Huh." She pushed off the locker. "Let's get to class. I think they're headed in the right direction."

"Yep, let's squeeze in, piss off some freshmen."

She laughed. "You first. I need a shield."

"All right."

When they arrived in anatomy and physiology, Sophia waited until attendance was taken before she asked to work on a paper and granted a hall pass. She wished Carl luck before heading down the empty hall to the library, realizing only then that Iris wasn't in third just now. She pushed it to the back of her mind and went to the library, signing in and finding an available computer by Patrick. She had a paper to work on if he wasn't here, but she was pleased he was. She needed his help with the bibliography set up and Iris.

"What you working on?"

"An essay for a scholarship. I've been doing them all week. The more I send out, the better chance I have of getting something back." He glanced at her. "You?"

"Paper for fourth. I'm almost done with the rough draft. Sorta."

"I should hope. It's due soon."

"Well, I had plans with my mom and Daryl and Iris, and they were more fun than this." She thrust a hand toward the screen where her document opened with its 3,000 words in Times New Roman. She just needed to squeeze out two thousand more words and a bibliography. It was better than having to write a five page paper. That was coming in a week. Yay.

He chuckled. "You oughta straighten your priorities."

"You should."

"Why sit next to me?"

"We need to talk about Iris."

"Why isn't Iris here then?"

"Because I want you to talk to her, but we should discuss what you'll tell her."

"What's wrong with her?" He met Sophia's eyes. "Is she okay?"

"No, she's not. People have been...vocal about her pregnancy, and it's more negative than anything. It's starting to get to her, and she won't talk to me about it. She might think I have thoughts like that, and I think you should talk to her about it. She knows you on a level I don't, and I also think that it would benefit more her if it came from you."

"What sort of things are they saying?"

"The usual."

"What do you mean, usual?"

"Right, you're the father. I forgot sometimes that this doesn't affect you like it does Iris."

"What?"

"Well, it doesn't. You can do everything you used to do before, but Iris can't. People look at you, and you're some guy in glasses. They see Iris, and she's the dumb slut that got pregnant while in high school. You can't tell me that isn't true. You can walk away and continue your life, but Iris? It wouldn't be that easy."

"I see your point. I—I hadn't noticed." He frowned. "How bad do you think it is for her?"

"Pretty bad. She doesn't want to been seem in public with her mom anymore."

"What? That's insane."

"Yes, it is. Talk to her tonight. She'll be home alone while Andrea and Shane are out."

"Yeah, I'll talk to her. Uh, thanks for telling me. I...don't think she would have."

"She's trying to handle it alone."

"That doesn't work."

"Clearly." She smiled. "So, bibliography?"

He chuckled. "Give me a minute."

"Oh, I can wait. Don't worry about that." She rested her chin in her palm and looked over her paper. "I'm going to grab some material for this. It needs more...everything." She swung out of her chair and found her way to the proper section of books.

Patrick stopped typing, his fingers lightly on the keys, and he felt like scum. He didn't even notice anything wrong with Iris. He thought she was fine. What an idiot. Of course she wasn't fine. She spent her days with a bunch of assholes who tortured the last girl who was pregnant into dropping out. His friends were always hush when he was around, and that's probably why. The only person out of them who understood was Carl, and he was friends with both him and Iris. Did Carl notice anything? Christ, if Carl noticed and he didn't...he really was scum. Moronic scum.

––

"I think the red one is better," Iris insisted, sitting on the sofa from Shane's apartment that was in their room now.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. The girl in sweats is insisting the red would look killer."

"I would rather be in sweats." She closed the closet door. "How are you feeling? You've been quiet all night."

"I'm just sleepy. I'm gonna take a nap then finish my homework."

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?"

"Yes, I'm sure." She smiled. "If you two get married then I will meet my future grandparents."

"Hand me those heels, and you'll meet them sooner or later."

She sighed and grabbed the heels her mom pointed to. "Why do I have to? We're not really family."

"Iris, they're Shane's parents. You know how much it would mean to him if you met his parents. You're like family to him." She sat on the bed. "Why don't you want to meet them?"

"I just don't see a point in that."

"Why not? Do you think Shane and I will break up?" She grasped her wrists, not taking the heels, making Iris look in her eyes. She used to do this when Iris was a girl and she did something bad but wouldn't admit to it. Iris always caved eventually. "Hmm?"

"No, I just don't need another set of grandparents. You saw how it went with Ruth, and Grandpa Dale isn't thrilled with me."

"Iris, that's not that true."

"I saw how he looked at me. And I'm not even is grandchild so he's probably relieved—"

"Iris!" She rose off the bed. "Don't you ever say that."

"It's true."

"No, it's not! You are as much his grandchild as any child Amy will have. Blood doesn't matter. They love you dearly, and he's surprised you're pregnant, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you . He'll come around. And Grandma is thrilled. She has something to knit for." She set her hands on her daughter's shoulders. "Iris, you are loved no matter what you do. You can't just distance yourself whenever you like by saying things like that. You are my child, Dale's grandchild, and you are so loved. Why do you do this?"

She lowered her eyes. "I don't know."

"We'll stay home tonight."

She started shaking her head. "No, no, don't. It's fine. I'm fine. I'm seriously going to bed in an hour, and you should have a good time tonight. Don't worry about me."

"I do worry about you when you say things like that."

"I won't say things like that anymore." She paused. "I'll try not to."

Andrea sighed. "I can stay home."

"No, you should go. You're excited, and I have a mountain of homework. If I need company, Sophia is a phone call away. Patrick too."

"So am I."

She nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, just stop thinking we're ashamed of you. Nothing you do will ever embarrass me. Well, nothing can top that time when you were ten." Iris snickered, and Andrea smiled. "I'll bring you home some dessert."

"I'd like that."

"Don't forgot to eat the chicken and vegetable bake in the kitchen. I want a healthy grandchild, and Shane spent all day making it for you."

"I'll eat every bite."

"I have to finish getting ready, but we will talk about this later."

"I know." She handed her the shoes and sauntered out of the room, grumbling to herself. In the middle of her grumbling, she almost ran into Shane. "Sorry!" She jumped back.

"It's okay. Nobody's hurt." He smiled, hair damp from his shower. "You're okay, right?"

"Yes." She continued to her room.

"Iris." He caught her in the doorway to her room. "Did I do somethin' to piss you off?"

"No. Why would you think that?"

"You haven't talked to me all day, and I saw the glare you gave me. Are you mad that we haven't started your driving lessons?"

"No, I'm not that childish. I just...am exhausted. I'm sorry that you thought I was mad at you."

"Why don't you come with us? You can wear that. Mom won't mind."

"I'm not in the mood to be around a lot of people, but thank you for the offer."

He nodded. "Your dinner's in the oven then."

"I know. Thanks." She climbed into bed when the conversation was over and closed her eyes, trying to get some sleep, because she was exhausted. It had been a long ass day, and a nap was all she wanted. She felt a little better after speaking with her mom, and maybe when they spoke later, she'd feel completely better. She hoped so.

––

Andrea checked in on Iris before they left, and she was out cold, so Andrea covered her with a blanket and kissed her hair. She met Shane by the door and discovered Patrick was there with him. They were talking about sports, and it made Andrea smile to see how well they got along. Phillip would have hated Patrick and Iris' pregnancy.

She frowned at that, wondering why he came into her mind, and she rubbed her arm. "Hello, Patrick."

"Hi." He beamed at her. "Is Iris upstairs?"

"She's taking a nap, but you can stay."

"Thank you. Have a nice night."

"You too." Shane grasped Andrea's hand. "Take care of Iris."

"I will." He closed the door behind them and locked up. He spotted Iris' binder on the counter and looked over what homework she had. He found himself filling in answers to the ones she would struggle with, and he stopped. He shook his head and climbed the stairs, finding her asleep as Andrea had mentioned. He slipped off his shoes and joined her, careful with his movement so he didn't wake her up. His hand brushed her stomach, Iris shifted slightly, and he stilled, but she didn't rouse. He bured his face in her shoulder and closed his eyes.

– – –

Iris woke up when something moved behind her, and she shot up, but it was just Patrick. She smiled and rolled over, curling an arm around his waist. He woke at her touch, and he smiled sleepily at her, reaching out and brushing hair out of her face.

"I didn't mean to wake you," she whispered.

"It's fine," he assured her. "How was your nap?"

"It was good, but this is better." She kissed him, and he scooted closer, slipping a hand underneath her t-shirt, and she parted his lips, pulling him closer with her arm. She felt his body flush against her, and she felt that something off as his hand brushed across her stomach. She shoved him back and touched her stomach, almost screaming when there wasn't a bump. "Oh, my God. Oh my God!" She pushed hair out of her face. What the hell was going on? Where was the baby bump? Why wasn't she pregnant?

Her eyes snapped open and she gasped, flicking on the light beside her and her hand touched her baby bump. Oh, thank God.

"Iris?" Patrick sat up. "Are you all right?"

She looked over at him. "Patrick?"

"Yeah?" He pushed himself up. "What is it?"

"I—I'm fine. I just...had a bad dream." She ran a hand through her hair. "I'm sorry I woke you up."

"It's all right. I'm the one who got into bed with you."

"When did you get into bed with me?"

"When your mom and Shane were leaving." He adjusted his glasses. "I didn't mean to sleep so hard."

"It's been a long day for all of us, I suppose." She shifted.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

"Yeah."

"What was it about?"

She shook her head. "I just...want to forget it."

"Sure, okay." He searched her eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I told you—I'm fine. I just...had a bad dream."

"No, I don't mean just now. I mean overall." He cocked his head to the side. "Sophia told me what you said."

"Of course she did." She shook her head. "I—I was upset, and...I let it get the better of me. I talked to my mom, and I'll get over it."

"What's to get over? Talk to me. What's going on with you?"

"I just feel...like I have erased all chances of achieving any of my dreams, and somehow I'll wind up screwing up one or two of your chances. It's...a baby, and I knew that before, but as time goes by I just keep getting freaked out."

"Iris, this does change our future plans, but it doesn't erase them. Only you or I do, okay? We're not alone here either. We have your parents, and I'm sure Carol will help out. Shane also."

"It's too late to say, but what the hell do we know about babies? Or being parents?" She locked eyes with him. "You have crappy parents, Patrick. I'm still...trying to grow up."

"So am I, but we'll do our best. I don't have to enroll in school this fall. I can delay a year or two."

"No, no. See this is what I'm talking about."

"Iris, we're going to have a child. We have to make some sacrifices, but we'll be okay. We'll get through this together. No matter what you feel, you're not alone."

"You're not the one who's going to blow up like a balloon, or who has to deal with the looks and whispers."

"No, I'm not. I wish you didn't have to deal with that, but who gives a damn? One day, they'll just be nosy gossips, and we'll have our dream jobs and a life we created." He grasped her hand. "So...fuck them."

She smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too." He kissed her. "And I love our child."

"Thank you for coming over." She inhaled. "Want to help me with my homework?"

"If you have food. I'm starving." She laughed at his expression. "I am. Did you see what they served for lunch?"

"I have food. Let's go."

– – –

"What kind of questions do you think they'll ask?" Daryl wondered aloud.

"I don't know. I suppose it depends." She peered over at him then reached over and intertwined their fingers. "It'll be difficult, but I know you'll get through it. You'll be stronger for it."

He felt the tips of his ears grow hot, and he gave a small smile. "So, how'd you like dinner?"

"It was great." She grinned. "I enjoy having dinner just the two of us. We should do it more often."

"We should." He dug the keys out of his pocket as they neared his car. "Why don't we on Friday?"

"I'll have to see, but if I am free then yes. I get to pick the place next time. Somewhere new."

"I ain't fond of change," he told her, "but sure."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "Thank you for a lovely evening, Mr. Dixon."

He chuckled. "I look forward to an evening to match on Friday."

"We'll see." She slid her arms down and grasped hands. "For now, let's get home before it rains."

"I have fond memories of us in the rain," he mused.

"Daryl." She giggled.

Thunder rumbled in the night sky made them quicken their pace. Daryl drove his truck to Carol's house, and they ran inside as the rain poured to the ground. The lights were off, Carol called to Sophia to see if she'd come home, but there was no answer. There was no power as well. The storm had caught the house before they could. Carol lit some candles, grasping towels from the hall closet, and she tossed them on her bed. There weren't enough candles to light every room, so they decided to take them up to Carol's bedroom. It had the most blankets and clean towels.

"You should change first," he told her. "I'll use the bathroom down the hall.

She carried a candle to the bathroom and hung her wet cloths over the shower, changing into sweatpants and a tank top, drying her hair. She noticed the pile of towels she'd left for Daryl on her bed, and she took them to him. She tapped her knuckles on the bathroom door, and it opened, having not been shut properly.

"I'm sorry. You left these on the bed."

"Come in. I'm decent."

She opened the door and saw he working on unbuttoning his shirt. "Uh, here."

"Thanks." He removed his shirt and set it on the sink, seeing her in the mirror, and she was looking at the floor. "Carol?"

"Hmm?" She lifted her eyes to his reflection.

"It's all right. You can look."

"I don't want—"

"You won't be."

She inhaled deeply, her eyes moving to his back and she moved forward. He had tattoos on his back as well as scars from where his father used to beat him. They were faint but very noticeable. She reached her hand out and touched the one on his shoulder blade, feeling him shudder at her touch. His skin was icy and damp from the rain, her hands were warm on his back, and she brushed her fingertips across the closest scar, knowing just how much this must have hurt at the time. She couldn't imagine being a child and enduring this. It broke her heart to know his own father did this. Ed would have done worse to Sophia, but he never had the chance. Daryl wasn't so lucky. What she wouldn't do to ease him of this burden.

"It's a part of me now," he remarked. "It ain't that simple, but maybe one day it will be."

She smiled a little. "Maybe."

He spun around. "I didn't show you so you'd be upset."

"I just don't understand how anybody could do that to their child." She exhaled. "I don't want to know either."

"I know what you mean."

"I...I'm just happy you survived." She smiled fully this time. "I can't imagine...life without you there. You've been such an influence in mine and Sophia's life, and the thought of you not being here...is unfathomable."

His lips twitched upward, and he ducked his head as a blush burned across his cheeks. "I'm just a loud redneck."

"No." She slipped her arms around his neck, making him look her in the eyes. "You are not just a loud redneck. You're a father, a friend, a hard worker, an occasional dog-walker."

He snickered under his breath. "That all I am?"

She shook her head and murmured, "You're the only man I've ever truly loved."

He swallowed then leaned down and met her lips. His arms enveloped her waist, bringing her closer to him, and she pushed up on the tips of her toes, grasping still wet strands of his hair with her fingers. They had been dating for months now, but they hadn't gone further than kissing. Daryl wanted to take it slow, because of what happened the last time. He never told her that, but he never pushed. He knew she needed time, and he did too. They weren't oil paintings, and they had scars nobody else had ever seen. He had been working up the nerve to show his. If he could do that, he could work through anything. If he could show the woman he loved the part of him he loathed the most, that brought back so many nights of terrors and so many foul memories, he could work through all of it.

Carol had seen, and she didn't run or look at him in disgust. She looked at him with compassion and somehow like she loved him even more. How that was possible, he didn't know. How could anybody see his scars and not turn away? He wouldn't even peer at his reflection when he wasn't dressed. Carol not only gazed at them, she touched them. And what was even more perplexing was he knew when he saw her scars, he would feel the same, look at her in the same way. He knew, because he loved her. He always would love her.

She pulled back, drawing in air and giggling once softly, her forehead on his collarbone. She set her hands very carefully on his chest and bit her bottom lip. "I love you, Daryl."

"I love you, too." He kissed her forehead, and she tilted her head back so he could kiss her, and he cupped her cheek, pressing his lips to hers. Once, twice, a third time, and he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to stop. He didn't want to. He ached for her, but he wouldn't push her. So he drew back.

She laughed now. "You can shoot a deer from a hundred meters, but you can't tell when I don't want you to stop?"

"What?"

She was grinning as she crossed her arms. "I want to be with you tonight, Daryl. I know you want to be with me."

"Are you sure?"

"I am."

"Just wanted to make sure." He stepped forward, swallowing the space between them and crushed his mouth against her, a delighted squeal escaping Carol's throat. They stumbled backward a bit, but he caught his footing and held her close, and they shared a brief laugh.

It was storming outside, lightening filling the bedroom from time to time, the candles flickered, and Daryl gently eased Carol back onto the bed. He gazed into her beautiful blue eyes and smiled. He wasn't sure why, but he simply couldn't help it. He felt so exposed and blissful, unburdened, and it felt right being here with her now. Carol eyed him then used her arms and legs to roll Daryl onto the other side of the bed and onto his back, and she grinned down on him before she kissed him passionately.

––

The storm had calmed, the power likely was restored, but there was something perfect about the soft glow the candles provided. It was just past midnight, the house was utterly silence save for the light chuckles that escaped Carol and Daryl as they smiled blissfully at one another. Carol was on top of him, one arm under against his on the bed and the other rested on the bed, her fingers brushing hair from his face. Daryl's thumb rubbed against her hip, and he just watched her, like she was the single most beautiful thing in the entire universe. He simply couldn't look away.

She leaned forward and kissed him, fatigue now settling in, her eyes drooping. "I love you," she whispered for only him to hear, running her eyes over his face. "God do I love you."

He smiled back at her. "I love you, too."

"It's gotten so late." She exhaled and rested her head on his chest, her hand moving to his shoulder.

"We should get some sleep." He stroked her hair. "Good night."

"...night," she murmured, having slowly drifted off.

He reached up to adjust the pillow underneath his head and felt confident in his decision. He was going to face a great many changes in the months to come, but he wasn't concerned about them. He knew he would welcome some and manage the others, but that didn't matter. In the end these changes were a chance for better. He didn't get many second chances in his life, didn't really deserve them, but this—all of this—was a second chance he needed. He wasn't sure who to thank, but he was thankful. More than he had words or thoughts for.

– – –

"Mom?" Sophia called upstairs. "Mom, I'm home."

There was no response.

"Mom?" She padded up the stairs. "You're only child wasn't killed or kidnapped by strangers. Do you care?"

"I'll be down in a minute."

"What?" She came to her mom's door and slapped a hand over her eyes. "God!" She hadn't seen anything, just Daryl's chest and her mom tying her robe.

"You couldn't wait?" She led her daughter down the hall.

"I thought Honey was holding you up. She likes to flop down on us." She moved her hand. "Just say you have company next time, or close your door! I can't handle what else I may walk in on."

"You could try waiting."

"I can't. Iris has an appointment, and I want to go with her. I'll be back soon, and we can have lunch. My treat." She grinned. "Bring Daryl too."

"What's the occasion?" Carol searched her daughter's face, eyes narrow with suspicion.

"I want to have lunch with my mom and her boyfriend. Why does there having to be anything going on?"

"Because you're grinning like that."

"It's not my something's-going-on smile. It's my...I'm-proud-and-so-so-so-so-happy-for-you smile."

"All right."

"I'll see you two for lunch then?"

"Yes."

"Great." She hugged her mom tightly for a minute then hurried out of the house so she wouldn't make Iris late for her appointment. "Bye!"

"Bye." Carol wondered what that was about then smiled to herself.

"What was that about?" Daryl was behind her on the steps, buttoning his shirt.

"We were invited to lunch."

He shook his head. "No, Sophia lyin'."

"What do you mean?" She faced him.

"Iris doesn't have an appointment today. Andrea would've told me about it."

Carol frowned. "I wonder why Sophia lied."

"Or Iris could've lied to her."

"That's possible. Strange, but entirely possible." She lingered on it for a moment then shrugged it off. "They wouldn't do anything dangerous, so I'll just pretend that Iris does have an appointment today."

He smirked and wrapped his arms around her. "By the way," he grasped her cheek and kissed her, "good morin'."

"Good morning." She giggled, her elation etched onto her face and prominent in her voice.

"Do you gotta work early?"

"No."

"Good." He pulled her back for another kiss.

– – –

"Hey." Sophia joined Iris on the swings. "What's up?"

"Stress." She squinted at the sun. "You didn't have to come."

"Of course I did. I'm your best friend, and I don't want anything said that can't be forgiven."

"I won't say anything. I won't even stand up."

Sophia noted then that Iris wore a dress that was big enough to cover the bump on her belly. Curling her fingers around the chains, Sophia kicked off lightly. "You don't want her to know?"

"What makes you say that?"

"That dress."

"It's comfortable. Grandma sent it to me, and it'd be rude to never wear it."

"Lair. You never wear anything your grandma sends you."

She scoffed. "That is not true."

"It is so true."

"Fine, it is." She glowered at her friend. "I just don't need her on the list of people whose eyes I can't meet." She knew her mom hadn't told Elizabeth, so she knew there was no way Penny knew.

"Iris, it's Penny. She won't care."

It turned out to be Penny who had sent Iris an e-mail. She was going to be in town and wanted to see her. She wanted to spend time with her, to make up for all the time they'd lost. Iris had told Sophia yesterday, and she wanted Sophia's opinion. Sophia said to come see her, to either find a way to keep in contact or to cut all ties. Iris seemed anxious so Sophia decided to tag along, at least until it wasn't so awkward.

"You don't know Penny like I do," Iris said so inaudibly Sophia didn't hear it.

About ten minutes into waiting, a car pulled up and Penny emerged from it. Elizabeth had been driving, and Iris mentally groaned at the sight. Sophia greeted Penny with a small smile, and Iris was pulled into a tight hug. Sophia could tell by how Penny was minding Iris that she knew she was pregnant. Elizabeth too.

"You've grown so much." Elizabeth commented, "You look beautiful."

"Thank you. So do you, as always." Iris tucked hair behind her ear. "I wish I had known you'd be here. I would've asked my mom to come. You guys could catch up."

"I'm on my way over there now. I just came to see you and to drop Penny off." She smiled. "I'll see you girls later."

"Bye."

They watched her pull out, Sophia leaned back on her heels, and Penny turned to Iris the moment her mom fell out of sight. She pointed to her stomach with wide eyes, unable to speak, and Iris paled.

"Dude, what the hell?"

"I can explain."

"You'd better, because that dress looks horrible on you. I know your grandma means well, but that is not a good color for anybody."

Iris let out a relieved laugh. "Oh, I know, right?" She tugged at her dress. "It's just comfy though."

"It's soft." She nodded and moved hair from her face. "So I have a million things to talk to you about, and I want to start by apologizing."

"No, don't. We both let the distance between each other grow, and I just want to put it behind us. I'm glad you e-mailed me." Iris cleared her throat. "But why e-mail now? It's so sudden."

She drew in a long breath. "We're moving again, but out of the country."

"Oh. Where?"

"London."

"London?" Iris frowned. "Why?"

"A job offer. Mom couldn't turn it down, plus she really loves to travel." She shrugged a shoulder. "Mom wanted to let all her friends know in person, and I wanted to see you again."

"I'm glad you decided to." Iris smiled. "Why don't we go somewhere? Sophia has a car, and she might like to be somewhere she likes while being a third wheel."

"Yes, she would," Sophia added.

Penny chuckled. "I'd like that."

"C'mon then." Sophia led them to her car.

"So," Penny looped her arm through Iris' on the way, "how far along are you?"

"What?" Her voice was high in pitch.

"It's me, Iris." She met her eyes. "I know what happened. Mom told me."

"Your mom knows?"

"Yeah, Andrea told her, and she told me." She nudged her. "I think it's awesome you're not only having the child but keeping it. I'm sure you'll be a great mom."

"Thank you for that, Penny."

"I mean it."

Sophia smiled to herself at their conversation and frowned when she realized she'd have to drop them off at home for her to go do something fun before she met her mom and Daryl for lunch. She heaved a sigh and continued to her car. At least when this was over, Iris wouldn't worry what Penny thought and they might reconnect. From the sound of their conversation, they already had. She was thrilled everything was coming together.

 _~Five & A Half Months Later~_

"I don't want to watch it," Iris begged. "Let's just leave it to my imagination."

"It won't be in your imagination," Carol replied. "It'll be coming out of you."

Iris groaned. "Yeah, but I don't have to see it. Plus I can get that...thing that'll numb me from like the waist down."

"Just watch it. It's the miracle of birth."

"The horrors of birth," Andrea muttered.

"Andrea," Carol scolded.

"What? It's the truth."

"She still has to do it."

Iris gaped at them with wide eyes. "Is it really that bad?"

"No, no, it's...not." Andrea sat down. "It's not something you eat popcorn with though."

"You're scaring me now."

"Don't be." Carol set her hand over the young girl's. "It'll be fine."

She nodded. "Okay." She held onto Carol's hand though. "Who's giving birth anyway?"

"You don't want to know. You'll never look at them the same way again." Andrea smiled to try and sweeten her comment then rose. "I'll go help Sophia and Amy with the invitations."

"Thank you." Carol gave Iris' hand a reassuring squeeze. "You ready?"

"No." She inhaled as deeply as she could then nodded. "Okay—don't let go of my hand."

Carol smiled, amused. "I promise."

"Even on the day," Iris added.

"You...want me there?"

"Well, yeah. Mom will want to be in there, but I'd rather it be you." She smiled. "Mom and Dad will be with me after, but during I want you there. You've been through this before, and you're my step-mom now so yeah."

"I'm not your stepmother."

"Not yet." She smirked. It was only a matter of time before Dad popped the question, and if he didn't, Iris was still going to call Carol her stepmother.

"Just watch the video."

In the kitchen Amy and Sophia and Andrea were preparing the invitations for Iris' baby shower. They were slightly behind, but it would be fine. Andrea had a few people from work coming, Iris' grandparents, Anna, a few friends from school and Carol. Karen had sent a gift card through the mail. She wanted to come, but she couldn't come back right now. Elizabeth had also sent a gift card from both her and Penny. At least they thought of it, and it made Iris happy to have the cards.

"So, who's left?" Andrea stacked the filled envelopes.

"Maggie, Tara and Molly," Sophia answered.

"Molly's coming?" Andrea's eyebrows rose. "I thought she and Iris didn't like each other."

"Well, Patrick said she insisted, and Iris felt bad saying no."

"No wonder she's pregnant," Amy mused.

Sophia laughed, but Andrea scolded.

"Daryl's going to be by with the crib," she told them, "before the shower."

"I can help him and Merle," Amy offered.

"How do you know Merle will be with him?" Andrea narrowed her eyes in suspicion.

Amy smoothed out a stamp and met her sister's eyes. "I've spoken with Merle many times since he came back into town."

"When? And why?"

Sophia silently excused herself to use the bathroom, covering her eyes when she crept into the living room, not at all ready to see that horror.

"When I have a lot of paperwork, I go out, have some coffee and wander. It helps me clear my head." She shrugged a shoulder and penned the address in. "Merle and I ran into each other a few times." He had nightmares and often couldn't sleep at night. He wasn't a bad person or conversationalist either. She would have known that sooner if she hadn't listened to the rumors about him. Better late than never.

"You never told me that."

"Because you jump to conclusions and then judge me." She marked a name off the list and shook her head. "At least you know me well enough to judge me, but still."

"I don't judge you. I'm happy he's making friends within the family."

Amy lifted her head. "He's a decent man, and he has some interesting stories."

"Does he?"

She nodded. "You guys should have coffee sometime. Just pretend you're strangers." Andrea laughed. "I'm serious."

"I think I'll leave his stories with you."

"Fine." Amy tapped the pen against her lips, chewing on the cap briefly. "I've helped him with the crib too, and I want to make sure it's perfect for when Iris sees it."

"I thought only Daryl worked on the crib."

"No. Merle got the wood for it and carved some cute designs into it." She tucked hair behind her ear and handed her sister the list, done with licking and writing and pressing. "Without my gently pushing, Iris would have a crib designed for a boy."

"It could be a boy," Andrea commented.

"I don't even care, just as long as they both come out strong and healthy."

"It's killing me to not know," Andrea confessed, and this time Amy laughed. "The nursery is done and will suit the baby fine, but it physically bugs the shit out of me to not know."

"Ha ha ha ha," Amy teased. "Only I will know when I make the cake."

"Just tell me beforehand, okay?"

"Never." She smirked. "I may tell Merle though, so you can try and squeeze it out of him."

"You'd tell Merle before telling me? I'm your sister."

"You'll tell everybody, Andrea."

"I won't!"

"Yes, you will. You'll get all emotional and call Shane and then it'll go from there."

"But why Merle?"

"I'll have to tell somebody, because I can't keep a secret like that, and I know Merle won't say a word." She hopped up and stretched her legs. "Besides he's going to taste the first cake I make so he'll know when we cut it."

"That's so unfair."

"Well, if you would just call off work," Amy started.

"I can't. I wanted to help you bake it, but I can't. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. If I need help, I can call Carol. Or Jacqui."

Andrea groaned. "Great, now three people will know before me."

"Four technically."

She groaned even more.

– – –

"Wow, it's beautiful." Carol ran a finger over the smooth wood, tracing the engraved alphabet blocks. "You and Merle did this?"

"Yeah." Daryl nodded. "We wanted it to be just right. It's safe too. We made sure."

"It is just right. It's lovely." She smiled at him. "Iris will love it."

"You think?"

"I know." She straightened and grasped his arm. "It's perfect, really."

He smiled softly. "Thanks."

"I showed Iris the tape," Carol told him.

"You did? When?"

"Yesterday."

"Well...how'd she take it?"

"She's mortified." Carol still wore a small smile. "Although, she asked me to be there with in the delivery room."

"She did?" He met her eyes, and she nodded. "That's great, Carol."

"Yes, it is."

"How did Andrea take that?"

"She doesn't know yet." She sucked in a breath. "I'm sure she'll take it as an insult but will calm down after giving it some thought."

"You ain't takin' her place as Iris' mom or anythin'."

"Yeah, but this the birth of her—your first grandchild, and you know how Andrea is." She pursed her lips. "Maybe Sophia could have Andrea with her."

He smirked. "Yeah, maybe."

"Don't you two have jobs?" Merle only half-joked as he strolled into the house.

"Says the unemployed one," Carol replied.

He chuckled and removed his jacket. "Y'all are still lookin' at that thing?"

"It's the first time I've seen it." Carol walked into the living room. "It's beautiful. You both did an amazing job."

He nodded as thanks. "You want one?"

"What?" Carol crossed her arms. "A crib?"

"No, a compliment."

She smirked bitterly at him. "Why would I need a crib? I don't have an newborn or even a grandchild."

"Well, we need a boy," Merle answered.

"A boy?" Daryl joined them, wondering what the hell Merle was going on about.

"Someone to carry on the good Dixon name."

Carol laughed outright at "good Dixon name" then her laughter died when it dawned on her that Merle was serious. "Oh." She looked at Daryl for support, but he was just glaring at his brother. "Why do we have to provide this boy?"

"I ain't in a relationship and don't plan to be in one. Besides, kid's gonna have curly hair either way, but at least this way there's a chance it won't get Daryl's nose."

Carol shook her head. "Iris doesn't have Daryl's nose either."

"Thank God for that."

"Shut up," Daryl grumbled.

Merle chuckled. "Fine, fine. Take your time. Well—"

"Get out," Carol interrupted him. "Don't even try to finish that sentence."

Merle trotted back outside to make a phone call, Carol rolled her eyes and scoffed at his statement, and Daryl studied her from where he stood. He couldn't tell if she was angry or annoyed, but he could tell she was thinking about what Merle said. Not about her age, but the child. He'd never thought about having another child. He had Iris and Sophia was like his own, and with his grandchild on the way, he just didn't think about it. He didn't need to. He thought this baby would be the last baby in his life until Sophia settled down. If she ever did. Did Carol have similar thoughts? Or did she want another child?

She faced him and pointed with her thumb to the door. "I have to pick up some ingredients to help Amy bake a cake, so I'll see you tomorrow." She kissed him briefly and was out the door before he could say anything.

He wondered if that had to do with Merle's words. They had never talked about having children or marriage. They had never spoke on even living together. Carol reflected the same contentedness as he did, and he was concerned now that maybe that wasn't enough for her. He had plans for them in the future, but for now he wanted to take time and lets things between them simply happen. Now he realized he didn't know if Carol even wanted to marry again. Neither of them have brought either topic up. There didn't seem to be a reason to, and now Merle had come and thrown a damn grenade at them and the damage was Carol rushing out and unanswered questions that would fester the longer they were apart. Good job, asshole.

He chewed on the tip of his thumb and felt the anxiety of not knowing what Carol saw for them settling in.

––

"Thank God." Amy opened the door for Carol. "Thank you so much for this."

"The shower isn't for another week—"

"And we _just_ sent out the invitations!" Amy cut her off, short of breath. "I've slacked so much with this that Andrea won't even let me help set up. I want this cake to be perfect, and practice makes perfect."

"All right." She closed the door with her elbow. "I have to work tomorrow, but I can help you for a few hours."

"Thank you so much. I owe you big time." She grinned. "And thanks for letting me borrow this pan for the last few months."

"That's where that pan went?" Carol frowned slightly. "I thought I threw it away or something."

"I told Andrea to remind you I had it, so you wouldn't think I stole it. She must have forgotten." Amy shrugged a shoulder. "Anyway, with the theme being Cinderella, I wanted to make the make the cake into either a pumpkin carriage or the glass slipper."

"Well, you're doing all the shaping and cutting for both."

"I know. I just need another set of hands. My current ones suck."

"What do you mean?" She looked at the doorway to the kitchen and just now spotted Merle, who smirked while sucking batter off his thumb. "I can see why."

Amy carried the bags to the kitchen, leaving them alone.

"Mousy."

"It's Carol or nothing at all, thank you." She removed her coat. "What brings you here?"

"Free food."

That sounds about right. "You actually helped her bake?"

"No, he didn't. He watched—and ate." Amy pulled her hair into a tight bun. "My dad is better help, and he hates baking. Mom always swatted him out of the kitchen."

Carol nodded. "Well, since I'm here, Merle can leave. It's pretty late, and you should get home before it gets too dark."

"He's actually staying over." Amy crossed her arms, and Carol's crinkled nose made her explain. "I made him a deal: he helps me cook, and he can sleep on my couch."

"Why would you want to?" Carol narrowed her eyes at him.

"I figured you and Daryl would be up talkin'." He pushed off the door frame. "The creakin' of his bed keeps me up just as much too."

She blushed. "Well, I can assure that Daryl and I won't be seeing each other tonight."

"Good. I need my rest, and I'm betting Merle goes like a buzz saw." Amy smirked at him, which he returned, and she clasped Carol's wrists. "Come on. Merle, you know your way around the living room, but don't blast the TV, please."

"Uh-huh."

Amy led Carol into the kitchen and handed her an apron. "Is Sophia home alone right now?"

"No. She's over at Andrea's with Lizzie. They have a project due."

She nodded. "Senior year. It really does fly by. I hope she enjoys it."

"I think she will. It's Iris I worry about."

"Yeah," Amy agreed. "With the baby due so soon and this school year just beginning, it's going to be so rough. Andrea's already taking time off for the baby. She's working her ass until then. I'm going to try to take time off when Andrea has to go back, but I don't know. I'll do what I can. The baby's my family too, so I'll do my part."

"Daryl's looking for a babysitter," Carol informed her, "for the days nobody can be home with the baby."

"We'll make it work somehow." She smiled warmly and teased, "Maybe lazy bones in there can watch the baby."

Carol laughed. "I'd pay to see that."

"I hear he was very supportive and nurturing when Iris was a baby. I have no proof, but he's gonna get another family member. He may step up. He's all about helping out blood."

"Did he tell you that?"

"No, no. Daryl told me when I was over there."

"When were you at Daryl's?"

"Oh, that was a while ago. Two weeks or so. I was visiting Merle, and Daryl had come home early. We hung out together for a few hours."

"You and Merle are close."

"Well, we are family through Iris," she pointed out. "I'm likely the only one in my family who'll reach out to him. They like Daryl well enough, but Merle's...different in a way they can't predict. If they just gave him time, they'd see him how I do."

"Maybe in time."

"Maybe." She bit her bottom lip. "I hope this cake turns out well."

"Even if it doesn't, Iris will love it." She set a hand on her shoulder. "They're going to tear into it anyway just to find out the sex of the baby."

"True." She rubbed her hands together slowly. "Let's just make it taste great."

"That I can do with my eyes shut."

––

"So, how's it coming?" Sophia set the bowl of chips between them on the bed.

"It's done for this week." She showed Sophia the page she'd been working on. "I just wish I didn't have to use both blue and pink stickers. It looks like cotton candy attacked the pages."

Sophia giggled. "You're the one who wanted to be surprised at the shower."

"Surprises are for people who are patient and don't know they're going to be surprised."

"Well, let's talk about something else. How's Patrick?"

Iris exhaled and closed the photo album. He was at college currently, adapting well to the new environment and enjoying his classes. He was still iffy on his major, but he had time. He sent letters sometimes like a geek. He liked to sent photos of things he thought were interesting or that Iris might like to see. Like his dorm room. Such a geek. "He hasn't called since last week so I don't know."

"Oh."

"He has school work too, probably more than us." She shrugged. "And as long as he's here for the shower and when the baby's born, I don't mind so much."

"You don't have to be strong or calm with me."

"I'm not. I'm okay with it. He needs to grow as a person and have some fun, and it's okay. I know who he is at heart, and that won't change. Besides if he tries to weasel out of being a father, Mom will hunt him down and drag him back by his hair."

"What's Daryl gonna be doing?"

"Stuffing him in the truck."

They laughed, and Sophia moved the chips to get comfortable, seeing that Iris was being honest. She was glad. She remembered how sad Iris was when Patrick graduated. It was a great day, and they all went out to dinner and took a million pictures. They had a small party of friends with no adults, and it was really perfect. Patrick looked so happy, and Anna was in tears the whole time. It was really sweet, and Sophia caught a glimpse of what it would be like when she graduated. She was happy to wait, but when the day came, she knew she wouldn't forget it.

The only downside was Patrick's parents weren't there. They probably didn't know the date and time, probably didn't even try to find out. She didn't know if Patrick felt that or not, but he'd have to have. They're his parents and they didn't bother to show up on one of the more important milestones of his life. It had to hurt, but he had Anna and all of us. They can't fill that hole, but they did their best, and he had fun. He made good memories. When he looked back on that day, she hoped he smiled and didn't feel sorrow for them not attending.

"I've narrowed it down to two names for either sex," Iris reported.

"Ooh, tell me."

"Well, for a boy I like Avery and Joshua." Sophia nodded. "And for a girl I like Naomi and...kinda Celia."

"Aww, that's sweet."

"I feel like that'll hurt mom, but... I've been looking over that album and staring at her picture, and I want some part of her to live a happy life. This is her grandchild too, you know?"

"I get it. I don't think Andrea will mind."

"She'll be mad. I already asked if Carol could be in the delivery room with me."

"What? Why my mom?"

"Because she's, like, the calmest person I know, and the only one who's had a child, and she agreed."

"Yeah, your mom might feel unloved."

She hung her head. "I don't want that."

Sophia pursed her lips and added, "Maybe it'll be a boy, and you won't have to worry about it. Name him Andrew."

Iris laughed. "Yeah, sure. I'll do that."

"Andre then."

"That's too like Andrea, Sophia. Plus I really do love Avery."

"What does Patrick think?"

"He like Celia too, but he doesn't like Avery or Joshua."

"Did he suggest a name at least?"

"I don't remember it, but I think it was like Bentley."

"If this kid gets his brain, sure."

"That's what I was thinking. It's the perfect name for a really intelligent child."

"Like Grant. Well, intelligent but kinda snooty."

"You should name your son Grant."

"I don't have a son, and no."

"Please?"

"If I get to name your baby Rice."

"You're so mean," Iris mused.

"At least I have a chance to name your child. We may drift apart by the time I have my children."

"Why would we drift apart?"

"I don't know. We have different career plans, and I have the ability to leave this state when I save up enough money. I am just one person."

"Our parents are dating."

"What if they break up? Or die? Hmm?"

"That's so depressing. Don't talk about that."

"I'm just saying that our lives may go in different directions, and you should let me name your baby. You'll think about how much you miss me when you say the name."

"Or I'll get hungry."

"That's a possibility too."

"I'm hungry now."

Sophia chuckled and pushed the bowl of chips toward her, and Iris smiled and helped herself. Sophia wondered how many more moments they'd have like that. When the baby came, everything would be different. It made her chest ache to think about it. She was being quite solemn before; they could easily drift apart in the months after graduation. Sophia going to college just like Carl and Enid, but Iris was hanging back because of the baby. She didn't know where that would leave them. Sophia would be studying to be a social worker, and Iris would be learning techniques to help sooth a crying infant and which baby food brand was best. It would be take a lot of effort to reconnect if they fell out of touch, that was for sure.

– – –

"Maggie." Carol knocked on her door. "Hey."

"Hey." She beamed at her and moved hair from her face. "What do you need?"

"I'm about to leave. I wanted to say good night and get home safely."

"Thanks. You too."

"I'll see you tomorrow." She waved and started down the hall.

"Heading home?" Axel fell into step beside her.

"Yeah, it's late. I just want to take a bath and relax before bed." She laced her fingers together. "What are your plans?"

"Pretty much the same, only a shower."

"Hmm, you don't know what you're missing." She smiled teasingly at him, and he chuckled. "How's Holly?"

"She's at her parents' for the week. I'm driving down on Friday."

She nodded. "I have a baby shower on Friday."

"I don't know who has it worse," he teased.

"You do. I won't be judged and questioned."

"That's true." He opened the door for her, and they stepped out into the night. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodbye."

The drive home was the same as always, save for when she pulled up and found Daryl and Sophia in the driveway. She thought one of them was hurt for a split second, but they were laughing. She was relieved and met them by the door, wondering why Sophia was still awake and why Daryl was over so late. He usually called if he was coming over. What happened?

"What brings you over so late?" Carol faced him and asked after Sophia said good night and was in her bedroom.

"You didn't return my call."

"I've been swamped with work and helping Amy. I've seen so many pictures of glass slippers that I'm dreaming about that." He snorted a laugh. "I'm sorry I didn't get your call."

"It's fine. I just wanted to make sure you were all right."

"I'm okay." She gave him a small smile. "I just need some sleep. Do you want to stay over?"

"Nah. I have an appointment in the morin', and I gotta work too."

"How are they going?"

He wanted to dismiss the question with a shrug, but he couldn't. "We've been talkin' a lot about...what I want do with my life. My future."

"Oh." She shifted her weight. "What's your answer?"

He hesitated then locked eyes with her. "What do you want?"

"What?" She tilted her head, confusion written on her face.

"It's been two days since Merle's comment. You practically ran from the house, and I was wonderin' what your thoughts were on our relationship and where you want it to go."

She blinked twice then pursed her lips and remained mute.

"Do...do you see us havin' a future?" he whispered, his throat tight.

She expelled out a slow sigh and weakly shrugged a shoulder.

He dropped his gaze. "Oh..."

"I know it's not the answer you want," she finally spoke. "I just haven't given our future much thought. I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine, not like..." he trailed off then shook his head. "It's fine."

"Daryl." She pushed off the counter and stood in front of him. "We never vowed to always be together, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be with you for the rest of my life."

He lifted his head. "It don't?"

"Of course not." She cupped his cheeks. "I love you, and I don't want to think about the future, because it's so unpredictable. The last man I was involved with led to a horrible future. I know it won't be like that for us, but I also don't know what might try to break us up either. I simply want to be with you for as long as I can."

He embraced her, burying his face in her shoulder, and she held him close. "I love you too."

She smiled against his shoulder and closed her eyes. "Any future with you will do," she whispered.

"Good to know," he murmured back.

She opened her eyes and peered at his face. "Do you want another child?"

He released her. "What?"

"Do you want another child?"

"Do you?"

"Daryl, don't answer my question with a question."

"It's your body," he remarked. "You're the one who has to go through it."

"Do. _You_. Want. Another. Child?"

"I dunno. I've never thought about it."

"Neither have I. I'm only asking, because Merle has a point. If you want another child, with me, we should probably work on that sooner rather than later."

"Don't matter to me if the Dixon names stops with us," he replied, but there something in his tone that made her think otherwise.

She nodded. "Well, I have to get to bed soon, but I'm gonna take a bath first so you should head home."

"You're takin' a bath?"

"I need to relax before the stress makes my head explode."

"What's got you stressed?"

"Sophia's senior year, work, the baby, bills, and my car is making a really weird noise. I thought if I ignored it, it'd go away. It hasn't, and every time I hear it, I can just see my car eating my money."

He laughed. "I'll take a look at it."

"It's pretty late, Daryl."

"I'll check it out at work then."

"Thank you."

"That's what I'm here for."

She reached out and grasped his end of his unbuttoned shirt. "About this bath...want to join me?"

He smirked. "I've seen your tub. It ain't that big."

She pulled him closer and peered up at him through her eyelashes. "So?"

He tipped his head to side and met her lips, and she smiled against his kiss. He found her hands and interlocked their fingers, and they headed upstairs to her bedroom.

Carol stopped by the bathroom door and teased, "Would you like a rubber duck?"

" _Stop_."

– – –

"Why is the sun so bright?" Sophia complained, curling up more in the shade.

"It's daytime," Carl joked. "The sun tends to do that."

"Shut up."

"Someone's grouchy."

"Yes, someone is." She sat up. "Daryl came over last night."

"What, did they fight?"

"Worse."

"What happened?"

"I'm trying to not remember, but I know I heard splashing and giggling. Plus Honey was scratching on the door. I am so tired." She huffed. "Why did I ever agree to take this class? I should have just helped out in the library or been an office aid or something. I could be snoozing somewhere."

"I'm an office aid next semester," he muttered.

"They'll work your ass off."

"I know."

She suddenly smiled at him. "Hey, thank you."

"What for?"

"For taking this class with me. I know you don't care much for it."

"It was this or Bible Study, and I think I already took that."

"I loved that class. The teacher was so great. I could sleep when he played movies, and he didn't care as long as you didn't talk much. And I knew all the answers." She grinned.

"Of course you did."

She wrote her name on her paper and began to actually work on it. "Can I cheat off you?"

"I wouldn't recommend it. I have no clue what I'm doing."

"I guess it's a good thing we have all our credits even if we fail this course then, huh?"

"I know, right?"

She chuckled softly at his expression and thought on the first question.

––

"Y'all talked about it?" Merle's brows rose. "I was just playin'."

"No, you weren't." Daryl continued to work on locating the "weird noise" from Carol's car.

"What'd she say?"

"She asked me what I wanted." He squinted at the sun that reflected off the car beside him. "I don't really care."

"Ain't much of a name to carry over," Merle agreed then laughed. "Still can't believe y'all talked about it. Shit."

"Don't be an asshole." Daryl glared.

"What else did you talk about?"

"Where our relationship was goin'."

"And?"

"I wanna marry her."

Merle stopped laughing at that and stared. "What?"

"You heard me." Daryl smiled now. "I wanna marry Carol. I talked about it with Axel and with Hershel. He even offered to help me find a ring."

"Damn." He then smacked Daryl on the head. "The fuck you didn't come to me first for?"

"You woulda just laughed and wouldn't have been any help. I know how you are." He rubbed the back of his head. "Besides I'm tellin' you now."

"After two people already know."

"Yeah, but at least me and Carol ain't comin' to you together to tell you."

"Truth, but I'm still pissed." He folded his arms. "You're takin' me with you when you get a ring."

"Fine."

"Good. Wasn't gonna take no for an answer."

"Would you help me with the car? That's the reason I called you."

"Thought you were leavin' this place?"

"I am." He saw Merle roll his eyes without even having to look. "I just need a bit of time."

"It's been damn near six months."

"Yeah, I just need another month then."

"Whatever you say."

"I am leavin' in another month," he insisted. "It ain't a good time for the shelter."

"Okay."

"I hate that tone. You don't buy a word I'm sayin' is what it tells me."

"'Cause I don't."

"You—"

"How's it coming?" Carol joined them, offering them water.

"Good." Merle accepted the water. "Thank you."

"Is everything all right with you two?" Carol whispered when she handed Daryl his water.

"Yeah, it's damn peachy."

"Daryl."

He kissed her lightly. "Don't worry. Your car will be fixed by tonight, just go back to work."

"I will, but that kiss doesn't erase the fact that I want an explanation later." She searched his eyes. "You've been tense since last night."

"I'm not tense."

"You've been acting strange since last night then. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just need to get this done."

She glanced at Merle and stepped back. "I'll leave you to it. Don't hurt yourself, either of you."

Merle waited until she was gone to say, "She can see right through you."

"Happens when you're completely honest with someone."

"Hey, you didn't tell me about your plans of proposin'!"

"Merle!" Daryl growled, pointing to the door that Carol had walked through only two seconds ago. With his loud mouth, she might have heard that. "That's why I didn't tell you! Let's fix this damn car already."

"'Cause I just came here to look pretty."

Daryl wanted to glare, but he laughed instead. "Shut the hell up, man."

––

"No making out while I'm in here," Sophia ordered at her mom and Daryl. "You're worse than teenagers."

"We're just watching a movie." Carol gestured to Honey between them. "I think she'd prevent anything from happening, don't you?"

"You'd think."

"You didn't sleep last night, did you?" Daryl asked, munching on popcorn.

"No." She scooted Honey to the floor and plopped in between them. "Not a wink."

"Why not?"

"...Honey's scratching."

"I'm sorry. I meant to put her in her room, but I was too tired by the time I went to bed."

"I'll bet." She dropped a pillow in her mom's lap and curled up on the cushion she had. "What movie are we watching? Like is it horror?"

"It's about space," Daryl answered. "Or somethin'."

"Ooh, I love space or something movies."

He set his cold drink on the back of her ankle, and she squealed. He chuckled and drank from the can of pop.

"Play nice." Carol reached down and gave Honey a piece of popcorn for being shooed to the floor.

"Tell that to him," Sophia grumbled.

"You're usin' my lap as a footrest," Daryl told her, "figured I'd try to use something on you as a coaster."

"Blame whichever parent gave me long legs." She closed her eyes. "I blame Mom."

"What?" Carol laughed once, not amused. "I'm shorter than you."

"Still blame you," she murmured with exhaustion dropping in her words.

Daryl pulled the blanket down from behind the couch and covered her with it, Carol mouthed a thank you, and he held out the bowl of popcorn, smiling at the sight of Sophia and Carol and poor Honey. Carol wanted to ask about the smile but decided against it and grasped a small handful of popcorn. The movie started, Sophia shifted, and at this point it didn't matter if the movie was terrible or not. They were comfortable and at risk of passing out where the were like Sophia. It was good to be home after a long day, that was for sure.

– – –

The day of the baby shower, Carol stopped by Amy's to both take her to the shower and see how the cake had turned out. They had settled on the pumpkin. They had a cake and then used the rest of the batter to make cupcakes for the wheels and such. Carol left Amy in charge of decorating it, and she was impressed with what Amy had done with it. Iris was going to love it. It was perfect.

"I feel weird knowing the baby's sex before Andrea and Daryl and Iris." Amy peered at Carol. "Don't you?"

"Not really." She shrugged. "They'll know what the child will be by the end of the day, so why does it matter?"

"That's true."

"Are you worried Merle told Daryl?"

"No. Merle wouldn't tell Daryl, but he would tell Daryl he knows the sex just to piss Daryl off."

"That sounds like him."

"I'm good at keeping secrets; I just don't like to have them."

"Know any of Merle's?" Carol teased.

"Yes, but I won't tell you."

"I don't want to know, and I wouldn't make you tell me."

"So, how are things with Daryl?"

"Why does everybody keep asking that?"

"Oh, sorry. I was just curious."

"We're fine." She pursed her lips and didn't look at Amy.

"That's not a look of someone whose relationship is "fine"."

"It's nothing bad. He just...asked me what I wanted from our relationship, what I saw for us in the future."

"Aww, that's adorable. What'd you say?"

"I just want to be with him."

"I'm sensing a butt."

"Merle is the butt. He's the snake that has put pressure on our relationship."

"Pressure? How?"

"It's complicated."

"Would marriage change that much?"

"M—marriage?" Carol gave her a sideways glance. "Why would you say that?"

"Well, that's the only pressure I can think of."

"Well, that's not what Merle was talking about."

"So what? He wants you two to... Oh." She made a face. "Why would he even want that?"

"To carry on the good Dixon name according to him."

She laughed. "Good Dixon name? He does know what people think of the Dixon name, right?"

"Who knows? And frankly I don't know if I want another child. Sophia has always been enough, and with Iris' child on the way... Ugh, I don't even want to think about it. Let's just focus on something else, please."

The rest of the drive was filled with conversations about work and the kids, and it didn't do much to take Carol's mind off of her last conversation with Daryl. She couldn't shake the feeling that maybe he did want another child, to make up for all he missed with Iris, to have a piece of them in the world. She wasn't going to ask him about it today. They had too much to do today, and she didn't want to bring down the mood of the baby shower. It wasn't starting yet, but if they put Iris in a sour mood, the shower would surely follow.

Daryl had already arrived with the crib, Amy left Carol to find her sister, and Carol headed upstairs to check on Daryl and Iris. She caught them in the middle of Iris thanking him with tears in her eyes, and she hung back, listening to them talk. It made her smile to hear them. It touched her more than seeing them. You could hear how much she appreciated the gift, how much she loved and appreciated him, and the same for Daryl. She was the number one girl in his heart. It was sweet. She hoped that he was the same way with his grandchild.

"Knock, knock." She smiled warmly as a greeting.

"Carol!" Iris was beaming. "Did you see the crib? Did he show you?"

She nodded. "You love it, I take it?"

"It's perfect!"

Carol grinned at how happy she looked, Andrea called to Iris to give her a hand with something, and Daryl peered at Carol for a second, wondering what was on her mind from the look in her eyes. He cocked his head to the side and studied her, not saying a word.

"I don't want to talk about it." She slipped her hands into her pocket. "Not now."

"Okay."

"I should get downstairs and help them set up. Maybe we could talk tonight?"

He nodded. "Merle's gonna be out, so you can stop by my place around seven. I'm busy till then so."

"I'll come by at seven." She placed a kiss on his cheek then busied herself with little things downstairs until the shower began.

– – –

"Do you think it'll work?" Merle checked over the details.

"I do." Daryl drank from his glass. "I double checked everythin', and I got some help for the money, some guys who would work with me."

He shook his head. "You're crazy, but you got guts. I'll help out with whatever I can."

Daryl smirked. "Well, good. I was thinkin' Dixon Brothers Construction sounded better than Dixon Construction."

Merle chuckled. "That's 'cause it _is_ better."

"I still got things to work out, but I ain't gonna wait around anymore. I know it'll be rough, but it's what I've always wanted to do. If it fails, I know Mag will give me a job. Or Hershel even. I don't wanna spend the next five years thinkin' about it—I'm gonna do it."

Merle nodded. "And Carol?"

"She doesn't know yet." He pursed his lips. "I'm goin' to tell her tonight. I just need to work up to it. We have a lot to discuss, thanks to you."

"It woulda come up sooner or later. Better sooner."

Daryl glared. "Your timin' is shit."

"I know. Iris and her...baby."

Daryl glowered even more, displeased that Merle knew what the baby was. He couldn't attend the shower, and Andrea couldn't tell him until she knew. Everybody would know before him, and it wasn't fair. He wasn't the father, but he was the grandfather. He could have asked Carol, but he didn't think of it. And she was too busy with the shower for him to call. He could text, but she might not receive it.

"Want me to tell you?" Merle rubbed his palms together. "I will."

"No, you won't. And even if you did, I don't know if I'd believe you."

"Have it your way." He rose. "I gotta go. Good luck with Mousy."

"Don't call her that."

"Mm-hmm."

Daryl rubbed the back of his neck as Merle departed, and he needed to get ready himself. He would have his hands full with trying to pull this business of his off, and he only had a few weeks before the baby was here. This was cutting it close, but he had a lot to maneuver around. He hoped Carol was supportive. She said she would be, and he couldn't compare her to the other people who let him down in his life. He would wait and see.

– – –

"The cake looks great." Andrea nudged Carol with her elbow when she didn't respond. "Are you okay?"

"Huh?" She blinked and turned to her. "I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

"I compliment the cake and asked how you were. You're distracted. What by?"

"I have a lot on my mind right now." She shrugged a shoulder then muttered, "Daryl may want another child."

"What?" Andrea exclaimed in a low tone to not draw the attention of those around her. "Why? At a time like this, why would he even consider that?"

Carol backed up a step. "Andrea, Iris' child is not his, and it's not confirmed. He's never thought about it, but I can tell he _is_ thinking about it now." She knew his not caring didn't mean much. He did care. That's why they were still having tension. She didn't want to admit it, but there was a lot to consider. She hoped Daryl wasn't turning the idea of having another child down simply because he assumed she didn't want another child.

"Call him. Nobody will miss you. They're all busy with Iris."

"He has appointments today." She hugged herself. "I'm fine. We're meeting tonight. I have to get through this shower, and I have to stress for maybe two hours afterward. I haven't decided yet."

Andrea laughed. "Enjoy yourself. Let's find something to help you loosen up."

"I didn't know you were serving wine," Carol mused.

"For you, I just might."

Sophia sat by Lizzie, watching Iris talk to Anna and Maggie, and she leaned back in her chair, smiling a little when Iris looked at her. She didn't want to tell Iris she was feeling a bit tired, so she put on a happy face and waved. She turned to Lizzie and asked her how she was doing, needing to distract herself.

"I'm better than I was yesterday," she replied. "I hope to be better tomorrow."

"Me too." She rested her chin in her palm. "I could fall asleep right now."

"I'll cover for you." She chuckled. "Just sneak off to a bedroom."

"I might take you up on that. It depends on how more exhausted I become."

As the shower proceeded, laughter and cute games filled the minutes. It was nice to see everybody together like this, celebrating Patrick and Iris' baby. The pictures that were taken would make a great addition to the photo album Iris had been making over the past few months. Sophia wasn't sure why Iris had started the album, but it made her happy so Sophia just helped her with it when she could. She added her favorite quotes and pictures of everybody, even small entries about what she did that day, or what the baby did. It was sweet. Although following the pattern of the party, they would need to buy some blue jell or glitter pens for the writing when they had the pictures made. Iris and her themes lately. Heh.

Carol watched from the door frame to the hallway with Maggie as Iris waited for Patrick to arrive. They were about to cut the cake and see what sex the baby was. Patrick had classes today, so he was running late, but he would be here in a few minutes. Carol was tempted to call Daryl to tell him, but she didn't want to risk spoiling it for anybody. She would just let Iris tell him. She was the one having the baby, giving Daryl his first grandchild. It was her place. Daryl would be happy no matter what the sex, just as long as they both made it out healthy. That's how Carol felt, but she knew what color the candies inside the cake were.

She heard Patrick greeting Andrea, who was trying to find the plates they'd purchased specifically for the baby shower, in the kitchen. They both rejoined the group once the plates were found, and the anticipation began to rise as Andrea handed Iris the cake knife. Iris moved aside one of the cupcakes—one with a silver wheel on it—grasped Patrick hand, and together they cut in to the cake.

Lifting the slice up, pink candies tumbled out of the cake, and Iris squealed and set a plate under it so they wouldn't bounce on to the floor. Andrea laughed, along with a few others, and she hugged Iris before Patrick could. Not that it was on his mind, he seemed pretty hung up over the fact that he was having a little girl.

"A girl." Andrea beamed. "I knew it."

"Sure, you did." Iris smirked and set a hand on her belly. "I'm having a daughter. Amazing."

Sophia hugged Iris and congratulated her. She let Maggie and Amy take Iris and leaned against the wall by her mom, crossing her arms and peering at her mother.

"What?" Carol met her eyes.

"Why are you over here? By yourself?"

"I'm not by myself. I'm with you all."

"Uh-huh."

"Besides you've joined me." Carol looped her arm through her daughter's. "So I'm not by myself."

Sophia smiled. "The cake looks awesome."

"It was mostly Amy's work. I just mixed batter." So much batter for the cakes that didn't make the cut. She hoped Axel had given the rejects to the people at the shelter like she'd asked. There were three cakes they couldn't use, so it should be enough. Unless they were still working on the cake from last week. Hmm.

"Just accept the compliment, please."

"Fine. Thank you." She flicked Sophia on the nose. "Are you happy now?"

"Did you just flick me?"

"Yes." She removed her arm. "Don't be such a baby."

"I'm finding a clothespin and clipping it on your nose, see how you look it."

– – –

"I'm going over to Carl's," Sophia called to her mom. "We have a paper to finish, and Rick grilling tonight."

"I figured as much." Carol dunked the tea bag back into the cup. "When will you be home?"

"At ten." She entered the kitchen, adjusting her purse. "He wants to show me a new video game after we finish our homework."

"I'll leave the kitchen light on for you then."

"You won't be home?" She frowned. "I thought you were going to meet Daryl at, like, seven or something."

"Yes, but it might be a long talk."

"Good luck with that and try to get home soon. Or Honey will be a permanent guest in my bedroom."

"I'll try."

"Thank you. Bye." She waved as best she could with her binder and book in her arms and slipped out the front door.

Carol set the teabag in the sink and sauntered upstairs to change. It took only thirty minutes to dress and finish her tea. She needed something to calm her nerves after the two hours of stressing over bills. She was grateful Merle and Daryl had fixed her car, but she had other things on her mind that cost money. She was going to be short this month. She didn't want to ask anyone for money, and if she told Andrea, it would eventually get to Karen, and Karen would come to her house and pay for everything. She might even throw in some groceries for the hell of it. That's just who Karen was, ever since they were kids. Even if she couldn't really afford to do that, she would find a way. Carol loved and loathed that about her. She would make this work on her own. She'd find a way. She always did.

––

Carol found an RV parked outside Daryl's house, and she blinked a few times to make sure it was there. She wondered why in the hell there was an RV in his driveway, but she left it alone. It was his or Merle's business, and she would likely find out when she went inside. Maybe this was Merle's new home? Or maybe he was going somewhere. That could be it. Perhaps.

She knocked on the door, and Daryl answered it, letting her inside. Her eyes fell on the stacks of paper on his coffee table, and she removed her jacket, glancing over them.

"I didn't have time to clean up." He hastily collected the papers and stacked them neatly before placing them in folders. "Sorry."

"Don't be. I'm early anyway."

He set the folders in his bedroom and offered her something to drink.

"I'm fine." She sat down in the chair. "Are you okay? You seem...excited."

"Oh, it's nothin'." He cleared his throat and sat opposite her. "Saw the RV out front?"

"Yes, I did." She laughed a little. "What's it doing out there?"

"It's a gift."

"From who?"

"Dale. I'm not sure why he brought it to us, but he wouldn't leave until we swore to keep it." He shook his head. "Merle's claimed the damn thing already."

"I'm not surprised." She met his eyes. "Dale's in town?"

"Yeah, he drove in for the shower. He's gonna stay with Andrea and Shane for a week. He had time off, and he wanted to see 'em. Well, us."

"Us?" Carol couldn't help but smile. "How does it feel to be a part of an "us"?"

"Weird as hell," he confessed, "but...kinda nice."

"I bet."

"He's takin' us all out to dinner tomorrow night, Merle included."

"Is Merle actually going?"

"It's free food, but company he ain't entirely fond of. I can't say." He shrugged. "I'll try to get him to come, but he's a stubborn."

"I'm sure if you can't talk him into it, Iris could."

He chuckled. "Yeah, she could. Kid's his only weakness these days."

There was an abrupt silence once his laughter died down, Carol grazed her hands over her jeans, and Daryl shifted on the couch uncomfortably. The air quickly filled with awkwardness, and neither was sure where to start. They both had thoughts that clung to the tip of their tongue, but at the same time there was fear and dark unknown there as well.

Two minutes ticked by, Carol cleared her throat in an attempt to break the silence, but it failed. Daryl wasn't sure where he should start. He had a lot to explain, and he didn't want to blurt it out. He wanted her to know he'd thought this through and had plans into the future for this business he was beginning to build. He wanted her to know that he loved her and that he had plans for them as well. He needed to be careful to not let his intentions of proposing slip out. He was shit with words, so he had to watch himself, especially now.

"Do you want to get married?" Carol inquired, unable to take the stillness any longer.

He stiffened instantaneously. "W—what?"

"Do you want to get married?" She searched his eyes. "At some point in the future, do you see us married? I just want to know what your thoughts on marriage are."

"Uh...er, what are yours?"

"I've been married once, and while that marriage was...atrocious, I won't let it taint my views on marriage." She smiled softly. "I've always loved the idea of being married. Of growing old with somebody, of sharing my every day life with somebody, of enjoying all the good and even the bad of life with somebody. That hasn't changed."

"So, you wouldn't hate gettin' married again?"

"Not at all."

He nodded. "Me either."

"Oh, you've been married?" she teased. "See, this is the kind of thing you tell someone before you sleep together."

He laughed, and it broke the rest of the tension that remained. "No, no, I ain't ever been married. I just meant that...I'd like to get married. Err, one day."

"One day."

He nodded. "Yeah."

"That's good to know." She scooted closer to edge of the chair. "So, that leaves what Merle brought up."

"Carol—"

"I don't want you to say no, because you think I want you to say no," she cut him off. "I want you to say what you really want. I know you said it already, but it didn't feel like you. I have to know what your thoughts are, Daryl. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Do you want another child?"

He reached over and grasped her hands, making sure his eyes were in hers, and he smiled. "I don't care either way. I'm fine with Iris and Sophia. I'm fine with my grandchild. If we have another kid, that's fine too."

She smiled at him. "That's how I feel too. If we don't have a child, it's okay. And if we do... Well, we already have a large family as it is, so what's one more person?"

He smirked. "Hopefully a person who's more like you than me."

"Now why do you say that?"

"Do you really want two of us runnin' around?"

She laughed then covered his hands with hers. "Well, if I can love you this much, I can love any child we may have this much as well."

He swallowed. "I... You know, it scares me sometimes."

"What does?"

"How much I love you. I mean...I've never felt...like this before. It scares me shitless." He couldn't look at her as his face burned. "You're the first woman I've ever loved like this, and I'm kinda hopin' you'll be the last woman too."

Her eyes burned, and she stood up, pulling him up so she could hug him. He buried his face in her hair, still feeling the heat of his blush, and she snuffled. She closed her eyes, gripping his shirt with her fingers, and she felt him kiss the top of her head, making her smile yet again.

"By the way," Carol corrected. "It's grand _daughter_." After the shower, Iris had asked Carol to tell Daryl the sex of the baby. She was going to see him tomorrow after school, but she wanted him to know beforehand. She told Carol she knew Daryl would want to hear it from Carol if he couldn't hear it directly from Iris.

His eyes widened, and he released an airy chuckle, pulling her back at arm's length. "Granddaughter?"

"Yes."

"Holy shit. I have a granddaughter?"

"You have a granddaughter."

He embraced her, lifting her off the ground, and she wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders as he did. He laughed, and Carol closed her eyes at the sound of it. He didn't let her go, but he did eventually put her feet back on the ground. He cupped her cheek and kissed her deeply, feeling a joy he hadn't ever experienced. He was terrified of it, but it consumed him too much to even feel it at the same time. He was going to have a granddaughter, and he was going to marry Carol one day. Sophia would legally be his daughter one day. And he was going to start his own business as well. Holy shit.

"Daryl." Carol pulled back, breathing heavy. "Slow down."

He chuckled once and caught his breath. "I need to tell you somethin' else."

"I'm all ears."

He held her by her elbows and drew in a breath. "I'm startin' my own construction company."

She gaped speechlessly at him.

"I've been thinkin' about it for years, and if I don't do it now...I know it won't happen ever." He studied her face. "I know it's a lot, but Hershel's givin' me advise and helpin' me with the details. Dale too. I've thought it through. I'm bein' smart about it, and if it fails, I know I have a place to return to."

"And if it thrives?" Carol questioned, feeling that he never had that thought.

From his expression, he hadn't. "Then...I'll ensure it continues to thrive."

She slipped her arms around his neck. "You want my support, don't you?" He nodded. "Well, I'm stunned, that's for sure."

"I just wanted to be sure it could happen before I told you."

She released a sigh. "I think it's amazing." She pulled him closer. "You're amazing, and of course I'll support you. Your dreams are my dreams, and I don't care how silly that sounds—it's true. If I have a job I love, why shouldn't you? I'm here for you one hundred and ten percent."

He smiled and kissed her, drawing her even closer, and he felt lucky for the first time. He felt like even if his business went down the toilet, he still had everything. For now, he would let this foreign feeling fill him, and he could only hope that when it was gone, he didn't regret it.


	24. Hear Me

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing._**

––

"Sophia." Carol set her keys and purse on the counter, entering the living room. "Sophia?"

"Hang on."

She turned toward the stairs that led to the basement. "Why are you in the basement? You only do laundry when you run out of clothes."

"I'm trying to change that habit." She emerged and stopped at the top. "What's up?"

"Don't you have an appointment with Espinosa today?"

"Yes, at four. That's why I'm trying to do my laundry, so I don't have to wear my pajamas to our session. It's too chilly for me to wear a dress, and I haven't shaved my legs."

"Okay. Do you want me to take you? I have to head up that way regardless."

"No, I'm good. I have to meet Iris after. Well, not have to, but we're going to hang out. She needs some cheering up."

"Why? Is she okay? Is the baby okay?"

"Yes, they're both medically fine. It's just that Patrick has, like, four tests on her due date."

"Oh, that's right. It's in a week or so, right?"

She nodded. "Time flies, huh?"

"It does." She shook her head. "Bring her back for dinner. I'm making her favorite."

"That ought to cheer her up a bit." She smiled. "Thanks, Mom."

"I have to take Honey to the vet, so do you know where her leash is? And her treats?"

"Uhh, her leash is in the pantry. Yeah, I told Daryl to stop putting it in there, but he still does it." She thought on the second one. "I...think her treats in the hall closet."

"Daryl's doing, I'm guessing?"

"Well, no. He did it once, but it was easier to grab them on the way to her kennel when they're there."

She nodded. "I'll see you at dinner. Wish me luck trying to lure Honey to the car."

"Good luck." She held up two thumbs up then heard the washer beep and hurried to her clothes. She really didn't want to be seen in her pajamas. She would probably fall asleep in her session if she wore them. She did that once before, and Dr. Espinosa poked her with unsharpened pencils and wrote on her arm. She didn't know about the writing until school the next day. It was now confirmed that Sophia sometimes spoke in her sleep. Dumb things at that.

––

"Hey, what are your dinner plans?" Carol waited outside of Hershel's office. Beth was watching over Honey right now, giving her water and trying to keep her from bolting. Carol suspected Beth was being jerked around out back, but Beth had insisted. Carol would treat her to lunch sometime as payment. "Daryl."

" _What? Sorry, I'm swamped._ "

"Which is why I want you over at my house at seven."

" _Is this about my poor eatin' habits, or tellin' the girls?_ "

"Both." She turned her back to the sun as it glared down on her. "It's important that we tell them. We need to tell Merle too."

" _Do you wanna invite him?_ "

"No, no. I think we should tell him together, but not with the girls. Besides I have to help Iris with some breathing thing. She wanted to know if it would actually help in labor. You know Merle would only gripe about us talking about labor and such."

" _Does it help? The breathin' thing?_ "

"If I kick you in the balls, would breathing help?"

He chuckled. " _All right. I'll be there at seven._ "

"Thank you."

" _I love you._ "

She blushed. "I love you too." She hung up and entered the shelter, smiling at Hershel who held Honey. "I'm here. No more phone calls." She set her phone on the counter and walked back with him to sooth Honey while she received her shots.

––

"Are you thinking of ending the sessions?" Iris turned to her friend, no longer interested in window shopping.

"No, no." She shook her head. "I just think I should space them out a bit."

"Sophia, you should at least wait a year before making that decision. I know it's your life and your past, but I don't think half a year makes much of a difference."

Sophia smiled. "I appreciate your concern, but I didn't have major problems. I mean, I'll keep seeing her, but I feel like I can move on in a few months."

"Don't push yourself, okay?"

"I promise I won't. I have to talk to Mom about it anyway, and she might make me go longer."

"She won't. You know your mom. She wouldn't make you do anything you wouldn't want to. Well, apart from going to the dentist."

"I suppose you're right." She tapped the back of her hand on Iris' arm as they walked through the mall. "By the way, Mom wants you to join us for dinner."

"Thank God. If Grandpa tried to make me eat anymore of his mother's pregnancy dishes, I would have died."

"They can't be that bad."

"They are. They're worse than school food."

Sophia laughed. "Mom is making your favorite."

"I love your mom. If Dad doesn't marry her, I will."

She rolled her eyes. "So, how long is Dale staying?"

"Until the baby comes, I guess. He was only supposed to be here for a week, but he keeps finding reasons to stay. I don't mind. I like having him here, just wish he would stop trying to feed me."

"It's about time for dinner, wanna head home?"

"Yes. I can't fit into most of these clothes, and I can't afford them even if I could. It's making me sad."

"Let's hurry then."

By the time they returned to Sophia's house, Carol and Daryl were setting the table and trying to keep Honey from stealing the tablecloth. Daryl greeted them with a brief smile then took Honey outside and played with her in an attempt to wear her out before they ate.

"You look tired," Carol commented. "Both of you."

"I had three tests to study for," Sophia reminded her. "And you can see her reason."

Carol shook her head. "Why don't you go sit in the living room? It's just about done."

"Let me do something," Iris offered. "I really don't want to sit anymore. That's all Mom and Grandpa want me to do."

"All right. I do need help with dessert."

"Help is here." She smiled.

Sophia stepped outside to join Daryl while Mom and Iris made dessert, and she caught the ball before Honey could snatch it up in her mouth. It was moist with drool, but she was used to that. She tossed it back toward Daryl, and Honey dove for it. Daryl caught the ball before Honey, and he threw it back to Sophia. They did this for a while, tiring Honey down, and eventually she just didn't try anymore. Sophia dropped down beside her on the grass and gave her the ball to chew on, and Daryl did the same, rubbing her back.

"We should do this next Thanksgiving," Sophia told him. "Only with a football."

"Sure."

"We could. Mom will have help in the kitchen, and we can get away."

"All right, but if we get caught, you're makin' the damn casserole."

"Deal." She rested her arms across her stomach and gazed up at the night sky. "What do you guys have to tell us?"

"You figured it out?"

"The minute Mom said Iris should join us for dinner." She peered at him over Honey's head. "You two can't get anything by me."

"We'll tell you and Iris at dinner, not before, not individually."

She huffed but nodded. "It's not bad news, right?"

"No, it ain't bad news."

"Okay." Spotting her mom waving them in, Sophia stretched her legs up in to the air and kicked back so she rolled over head and stood up. "I'm going to wash up. My hands feel gross."

"Right behind you."

They washed up for dinner, Daryl helped take the food to the table, and they sat down. It wasn't long before Iris and Sophia were staring at their parents, waiting for them to tell them the "not bad" news. It wasn't quiet at the table, but there was something that wasn't being said. It was gnawing at them, and finally—finally—Carol brought it up.

"You can stop staring, vultures." She rested her chin in her palm. "We have news."

"Good news, I hope." Iris set her fork down.

"Yeah, it's good news." Daryl smiled a little to the left of his mouth. "We've been talkin' about it for a week now, but we thought we should tell you two."

"You're engaged?" Sophia gasped.

"No." Carol lifted her head.

"You're pregnant?" Iris guessed.

"No." Daryl shook his head.

"You're not pregnant or engaged. Did you get married already?" Sophia narrowed her eyes. "Is that what you were really doing today? Having a quick wedding?"

"No, no—stop guessing. You're terrible at it." Carol smiled at Daryl. "Tell them."

"I'm startin' my own business. A construction business."

"Really?" Iris smiled. "That sounds great."

"It is." He returned her smile. "It's been a goal of mine for a while now, and I'm goin' to make it happen. I thought you two should know."

"Wow, that's incredible, Daryl." Sophia smiled for him. "I'm happy for you. I hope it works out."

"Yeah, me too." He bit his bottom lip for a second. "I'm gonna be busy, but when I have time I'm goin' to be movin' in with you and Carol."

Sophia's mouth fell open. "What?"

"We talked about that too." Carol met her daughter's eyes. "Merle needs a place of his own, and it's a perfect place for him, but Daryl decided that he wants to live with us."

"That's awesome! You'll be practically right down the road!" Iris appeared delighted.

"I know. Merle and I don't do well under the same roof, and I wanna be closer to you girls and my grandchild." He looked at Sophia. "Is that okay with you?"

She closed her mouth. "Yeah, it's okay." She smiled from ear to ear. "It's completely okay." She rose from the table to hug him.

Carol smiled at the sight. "I'm happy you both approve." She clasped Iris' hand.

"Of course we do." Iris set her other hand over Carol's. "I'm happy you're happy, and this is one step closer to me and Sophia being sisters."

"Iris." Daryl's tone was scolding, but it was gentle, and she laughed. "One step at a time."

– – –

It was Iris' due date today, and Daryl felt his stomach in knots. He didn't like the date one bit. He kept hoping it would come early, or that it would come later. He couldn't set himself at ease, so he dove into work. He had so much to get done, and he was glad Merle was helping him out with moving. He didn't have many things, just three boxes at the most, but Merle was being nice.

Oddly Merle wasn't at all surprised when they came to him, and he was happy for them. He gave them his "blessing", and they both rolled their eyes. He seemed relieved and thankful. It was strange, but Merle had always been weird. He had plans of his own for the house, and Daryl hoped it still resemble the house he used to live in when Merle was finished.

He was sad to go, but he was pleased with his new location. Sophia had some conditions, however she was more than helpful. She even set up an office in the basement with Carl and some discarded furnishings. It was simple but useful. Carol would have let him use the guest bedroom, but it was filled with boxes that had no place to go. He didn't mind. He liked the quite of the basement, made him feel at home. And to make him feel even more at home, Sophia had bought massive tree stickers to place on the wall. She didn't know anybody who could paint, so she got stickers online. It wasn't professional, but he appreciate the sentiment.

"I'm off." Merle collected the last of Daryl's boxes. "I'll drop this off on my way."

"Where are you goin'?" Daryl dug through the cabinet by the back door.

"Nowhere far. If the kid comes, just call me."

Daryl shook it off and returned to work. He was trying to find the bubble wrap. Carol had either used all of it or had hidden it on purpose. He wasn't certain which it was. He had been outside with Sophia when Carol told him that she either put it away or threw it away. He couldn't hear, and he didn't think to ask. He dug out a million mothballs and two rolls of tape and a box of cleaning supplies from about ten years ago, but he didn't find the bubble wrap. All he had were packing peanut, and he didn't know who the fuck bought them or how good they were.

He flicked a spider off his shoulder and gave up. He would just use a blanket. He grabbed the one from the back of the couch and gingerly wrapped the bowl his daughter had made. He held it carefully, running his eyes over the living room and kitchen, exhaling at all the memories that came flooding back to him. He smiled a little and departed. It was Merle's place now, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to come back in eight years and build a new tree house for his granddaughter. If she's anything like Iris, he'll definitely be back to build it.

– – –

Carol was putting away groceries when the phone rang. She called to Sophia to finish putting the food away and answered it. It was Andrea, and she was sounded upset. She turned to find Daryl behind her, as he just came up from the basement to see if they had any nails, and his eyes fixated on her face. Sophia noticed then too and hugged the jar of peanut butter to her chest.

"We'll be there soon." She hung up. "It's Iris."

Daryl stopped breathing. "What about her?"

"She's at the hospital right now. Her water broke, but...the baby's breech. They have to perform a c-section. They can't do it vaginally."

"She'll be okay, right?" Sophia whispered. "I mean, it's just a c-section."

"I'm sure she'll be fine. Let's go." She removed the jar of peanut butter from Sophia's arms and guided her to the car. "Daryl."

"I'm comin'." He grabbed their coats and hurried after them.

––

Dale and Amy were there to meet then when they arrived at the hospital, Daryl asked Amy to call Merle and let him know what was going on, because if he heard Daryl's voice, he'd rush here. Daryl didn't need that. He didn't want Merle to get hurt trying to rush here. He asked her to tell him little, but if he guessed to just let him know. He would be pissed either way.

"Where's Andrea?" Carol asked Dale.

"She's talking to the doctor. They're about to take Iris to have the c-section."

"I wanna see her." Daryl was instantly next to Carol.

He nodded. "Iris wanted to wait until you got here, even though Amy insisted she shouldn't."

He couldn't swallow with the gulf ball in his throat, so he found a nurse to take him to Iris.

"How was she?" Carol sat beside Dale. "Iris, I mean."

"She's a trooper." His eyes were filled with sorrow. "She told the Dr. S that if it came down to her or the baby...to save the baby. She was being dramatic, I'm sure."

She reached over and grasped the older man's hand to comfort him. "I know Iris. She's strong, and I know her child will be strong too. It'll be okay."

"I hope you're right."

"Is it really that bad?" Sophia murmured. "Could she die?"

"She won't," Carol insisted. "Don't think thoughts like that."

"Could it happen? Even if it's rare?" Sophia demanded. "I want to know what I should expect, not just what I want, to happen."

Amy put an arm around Sophia's shoulders. "Take a walk with me. I'll tell you everything I know."

Carol watched her obviously shaken daughter step outside with Amy, and she felt Dale squeeze her hand. She smiled weakly at the older man and decided all she could do now was pray for Iris and for her unborn child.

––

Daryl found Andrea in the hall, gazing in on an empty room. "Where is she?"

She shook her head. "They couldn't wait any longer. I tried. I really tried, but..."

He cursed. "Goddamn it." He kicked the wall as hard as he could, not caring about the pain that shot through his ankle and up his calf. "Fuck!"

"Daryl, calm down. I trust Dr. S. He's a good doctor, and he's been doing this for years. I know they'll be fine."

"Couldn't they have done somethin' before? If they knew the baby was breech, couldn't somethin' have been done to turn it around or somethin'?"

"We thought the baby would shift."

"Why didn't you call me when her water broke?"

"I was at work! Amy called me!" She searched his eyes. "I didn't even get to see her either, Daryl. I only spoke with Dr. S. Dad and Amy were the last people with her."

He racked his hands through his hair. "Shit."

"She told Amy to tell us that she loves us." Andrea's eyes were misty. "She's such a dramatic child. I don't know where she gets it from."

"Your side, I reckon." He groaned. "How in the hell is this baby breech?"

"Iris was breech, so that probably increased her chances." She folded her arms and noted how his brows furrowed. "You didn't know that?"

"I wasn't there when she was born."

"Oh. Well, I had Shane access Celia's hospital records, and it turns out that Dr. S at the hospital when Celia had Iris. Unlike Iris, Celia was able to have a vaginal birth." She rubbed her arms. "Iris has been lucky all of her life, so she'll be fine. I know she'll be fine."

Daryl heard her voice break, and he set a hand on her shoulder. "Yeah."

Andrea gripped his hand tightly for a moment then released it. "I should call Shane. He'll want to know about this."

"And Patrick?" Daryl reminded her.

"He has exams, I think. I'll wait." His phone had likely been shut off for them anyway. She would ask Amy to pick him up later. She hoped they had good news for him.

––

Shane arrived half an hour later still in his uniform, Andrea hurried to him and hugged him, and he asked if they had heard anything. It was hushed all around. Sophia was holding her legs to her chest, eyes closed, lips moving in soft prayers. Amy was making sure everybody was comfortable and if they needed anything, she ran to get it. She was distracting herself, poorly as nobody wanted or needed anything. Dale had left to call his wife. He had been gone a few minutes now.

Carol noticed at that moment that Daryl had disappeared, and she asked Amy to keep an eye on Sophia. She searched the floor they were on, had Shane check the bathroom, but Daryl wasn't anywhere to be found. Worry settled in her chest as she moved to the next floor. He could have gone anywhere. She knew he wouldn't leave. He couldn't leave Iris. He was somewhere in the hospital. If she had noticed that he was gone sooner, she might have caught up to him. Or might have talked him into staying with them. Why wasn't she watching him too?

Just as she entered a vacant waiting room, she spotted him. He was sitting his with elbows on his knees, his head bowed and covered by his hands. She took the seat beside him, not saying a word, knowing he knew it was her.

He didn't say anything, the echoed sound of shoes clomped around them, but no one walked by. Carol looked around to discover this area truly devoid of all color and hope. It make a chill run through her, and she wondered if it was only reflecting Daryl's emotions, or it actually looked this way. She rubbed her arm and didn't think on that any longer. She didn't want to imagine Daryl in a place so cold and empty. She didn't want him to go back to that day and suffocate on the memories that followed. It was supposed to be a happy day, not a cruel reminder. God worked in mysterious ways, but He was not always kind. She prayed that did not apply today.

"I was here," Daryl spoke, his voice rough and low, breaking the hollow ring that sounded around them. "When Ella was hit by that car, I was sitting right here, waitin' for news."

"Daryl." She turned toward him.

He didn't move a muscle. "Did you know that today is the day?"

"What day?" She then lowered her eyes. "Oh."

"I lost Ella on this exact day," he murmured. "And I might lose Iris too."

"Don't think like that."

"Why not?" He lifted his head at least, his red, swollen eyes revealed to her. "It's all happenin' like it did before, only instead of a car...it's my grandchild."

"Iris isn't a small child," Carol corrected. "She's not weak or alone. She has you and Andrea and Sophia and all of her family to return to. She has dreams of her own to fight for. I have to believe that she will come out of this just fine. I have to."

"I didn't even get to see her." His voice was mirroring the room now—empty, cold, hopeless. "She told Amy to tell us that she loves us, and I didn't get to tell her that. I don't think I ever told her."

"Told her what?"

"That she saved my life. That she gave me hope, that she fixed parts of me that I didn't know I needed fixed. She's...my kid, and she's the most important person in my life. I don't know her as well Andrea, but that doesn't matter. She's _my_ daughter, and I love her. Celia loved her. She was the sun and fucking moon to Celia. I could see it, but I never told Iris that. Not once."

"Daryl, she knows." Carol reached out and caressed his cheek. "She knows you love her, and how Celia felt. I saw it on her face when you gave her that crib, heard it in her voice. I see it when she looks over the album Celia left her. She's proud to be your daughter, she loves you, and you didn't have to tell her any of those things for her to know."

"I can't lose her, Carol, not permanently."

She lowered her hand to his. "I can't promise you won't, but I pray that you will never know that pain a second time."

He laced his fingers through hers. "I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here."

"You don't have to know." She leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. "I'll be right here until she and the baby are out of surgery."

While everything screamed the past to him, Carol's warmth turned those screams into whispers, and he held tighter to her hand. He closed his eyes and forced his dark thoughts back, and when he opened them again, he shot up.

"What is it?" She lifted her eyes and saw a woman standing across the room. "Who is that?"

He clenched his jaw. "Ruth."

"Ruth?" She stood up. "As in Celia's mother?"

"Yes."

Carol took his hand when he viciously approached Ruth, and she held his arm to keep him from doing something he would later regret. She didn't care why the woman was here, only that Daryl kept his angry in check. He was already distraught, and he didn't need to channel that by going off on Celia's mother.

"What the hell are you doin' here?" he hissed.

She lifted her chin. "I heard that Iris was here."

"Heard? From who?"

"Your brother." Ruth arched a brow. "I'm just as surprised as you are."

"Merle called you?" Carol's brows shot up. "Merle?"

"Yes."

"Explains why he ain't here." Daryl scoffed. "You can leave. You ain't welcome here."

"Daryl." Carol's tone was reprimanding, and she turned to Ruth. "What brings you here?"

"My grandchild is giving birth. I wanted to be here."

"Why? So you can call her more horrid things? Spit in her face?" Daryl's voice dripped with hate.

"I regret what I said. I know I wasn't a good parent, and I'm not a good grandparent either. I wanted what was best for my daughter, and whether you believe that or not doesn't matter to me. I want what's best for my grandchild, and I want her to know that whatever she does with her life, she has my support, even if she doesn't need. Or want it."

"Why now?" Carol was trying to understand. "You had months to talk to her, so why come now?"

"I didn't want an angry redneck in my face." She met Carol's eyes. "And from what I hear this may be my last chance."

"She isn't gonna die." Daryl snarled.

"I don't doubt it. I meant that...I am."

Daryl blinked. "What?" His tone had vanished.

"It would appear that the cancer that runs in my family has caught up to me now." She didn't look distressed or sound bitter about it. "I can only...make up for my mistakes as best I can at this point."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Carol remarked. "And while I feel for you, I don't think—"

"No," Daryl cut Carol off. "No, it's fine. If...Iris wants to see you, you can see her."

She nodded. "Thank you."

Carol watched Ruth leave then faced Daryl and she smiled at him. "That was very kind."

"It isn't my place to decide if Iris sees her or not."

"I'm still proud of you for that."

"Let's go back, see if they've learned anything new. I wanna be with her when she wakes up."

She nodded and led the way.

––

Daryl wasn't sure what time it was. He didn't have a watch or his phone with him. He didn't think he'd need them. It was supposed to be a regular day, and yes, the baby was due today, but he had hoped it would be smooth sailing. He knew how much anguish he had been in on this day, and he didn't want that to happen to Iris or his granddaughter. If it had to be one or the other, he didn't know what he would do. He had no updates on how things were going, and while talking with Carol helped, all of those feelings and concerns returned, crawling through the cracks of the image he imagined of Iris and his grandchild that was shattering more and more each passing second. The image was cluttered with fear and worry; the depicted happiness covered and out of sight.

He rubbed the back of his neck and lifted his head, his eyes landing on the empty seats across from him. Carol had been sitting there with Sophia, but they were both gone now. They could simply be in the bathroom and there was no need to look for them. As soon as the thought crossed his mind, he saw Shane shift and real that Carol was trying to comfort Andrea. His brows furrowed, and he rose from his seat.

"Hey, where's Sophia?" he asked Dale in a hushed tone.

"She walked off about five minutes ago. She headed through there."

"Thanks." Daryl knew where she was, and he made his way to where Carol had found him earlier. Sophia likely went there as an escape, but at a time like this she shouldn't be alone. Carol was distracted with Andrea, trying to quell the negative thoughts and heartbreaking outcomes she came up with. She probably didn't even notice Sophia had gone. She was just as worn as the rest of them. Emotional exhaustion was the worst. Coffee could at least aid physical exhaustion.

Sophia was curled up in the corner of the waiting room, her legs pulled to her chest, and she was quaking. He could see it from where he stood. He didn't know if he should or shouldn't bother her, but he didn't care. He wasn't going to let her cry alone in an empty room. He wasn't going to do that, because he already had one daughter all by herself with no family. He wasn't going to do the same to the other. He wasn't going to let her go through this like he had.

"Here." He held out a box of tissues to her.

"I'm fine." Her voice was thick, and she didn't move her head to see who had approached her.

"Why bother lyin'?"

She sniffled and lowered her legs, pulling out a tissue. "Thanks."

"Why did you leave?" He sank into the seat beside her.

"Because." It was all the explanation she gave.

"Right, because." He set the tissue box on her knee and exhaled. "You're scared, like all of us."

"She's my sister," Sophia whispered. "I don't care what anybody says—she's my sister. I've known her since I was ten, and I don't want today or tomorrow be the last day I know her. I don't want to wake up an only child again. I don't want to say I _had_ a sister."

"So—"

"I also don't want my sister to live in a world where her child is dead." Her voice broke. "And I can't even think about the possibility of neither of them surviving. I can't. I can't. It hurts inside, Daryl. It didn't hurt when my father died—he deserved it—but Iris? And the baby?"

He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her to him, and she sobbed into his shirt. "I know it hurts. I've been here before. I didn't want to come back." He closed his eyes, feeling her fingers dig into his shoulder blades, and he smoothed down her hair. "I don't know if Iris knows it, but she's pretty tough, just like you. She needs us to believe she'll be okay. I know it ain't as simple as that, won't make time go by faster or make you really feel better, but it's all I have."

She quivered and said nothing.

"I'm not good with this kinda thing," he confessed. "Buildin' things, huntin' and trackin', I can do in my sleep. I never was good at bein' a dad."

"What?" She lifted her head to look at him. "Being a dad?"

"If Iris is your sister then I'm your father." He searched her eyes. "I'm sorry I ain't too good at it, but I want you to know Iris and the baby are in good hands. They'll do everythin' they can to save 'em. So we gotta do everythin' we can for each other and for what comes after. Don't think too much on wakin' up an only child. We haven't heard good or bad news, and we can't assume the worst. You should know more than anybody what a little luck can do."

She exhaled, snuffling, and she shuddered, running her eyes over his face. "How are you dealing with all this?"

"I'm terrified," he replied. "I don't know what will happen when Dr. S comes to us. I don't want to think about it, but just sittin' around here ain't helpin' me any. My mind keeps wanderin', but I know the last time I gave up on her, I did lose her for years. I'm not gonna give up on her again."

"Did Mom ask you to come find me?" She wiped her eyes.

"No, Carol's tryin' to calm Andrea down."

"Did you really mean it then?"

"Mean what?"

"What you said...about being my dad." She held her breath.

"Yeah, I meant that." He grasped her hand. "I love you, Sophia, just as much I love Iris."

"I love you too." She hugged him again.

– – –

They hadn't said a word, but it was decided that they would spend the night at the hospital. Amy and Merle made a run for food, and Daryl and Andrea paced while they waited for news on their child and grandchild. Carol and Shane were discussing how to tend to Iris when she was released from the hospital. Sophia and Dale were talking about nothing in particular to pass the time, and Sophia smiled and even laugh at him. He was like a sage sometimes, and it was funny. Helpful and funny. She was glad he was there. Daryl was happy to have Dale there when he heard Sophia laugh.

It was was going on two in the morning when a nurse called to Daryl and Andrea, the part of the group drifting off.

"She's out of danger," she told them.

"She is?" Andrea exhaled, and it was the sound of unadulterated relief, setting a hand on Daryl's forearm. "Can we see her?"

"She's in intensive care. We're going to monitor her for the next few hours."

"Has she said anything?"

The nurse's head cocked to the side at that question, and seeing her mistake, she informed them, "I meant the baby. Your granddaughter."

Andrea's blood ran cold. "And our daughter?"

A compassionate look appeared. "We're doing everything we can for her."

Andrea shivered when the nurse departed, and Daryl tapped his hand against hers to get her attention. "Did you see her face...?"

"That doesn't mean anythin', and our granddaughter is alive." He watched her. "Andrea, we can see our granddaughter soon."

She nodded. "It's difficult to see the good when our daughter is in a state that can't be defined."

"Andrea." Dale set a hand on her arm and nodded a thank you at Daryl, taking over.

Daryl saw Sophia and Carol were fully awake and he told them the news.

Sophia hugged him at the news of the baby being all right, and Carol laughed softly at the reaction. She knew there was bad news, but it was the first time Sophia had been happy since she answered the phone. It was refreshing to see, and when Daryl told her that Iris was still being attended to, Sophia's happiness didn't die. She just nodded.

"I'm gonna get some coffee," Daryl freed himself from Sophia's next hug. "I'll be right back."

"I'll go with you." Amy pulled herself from Shane and Merle, their head knocking together, but they didn't wake. "I could use a walk."

Sophia spun around to face her mom. "It worked!"

"What worked?" Carol stretched.

"I prayed that that baby would be okay, and she's all right. I know Iris will be okay too." She was grinning. "I'm gonna call Carl and tell him."

"Sophia, it's late. Why don't you wait until morning?"

"Oh, crap." Sophia paled. "Nobody told Patrick."

"Okay, him you can call."

"Yeah." She hurried out of the building to call Patrick.

Carol closed her eyes and thanked God for the baby making it through safely. She prayed once more that Iris would survive. She couldn't bare for this to turn out any other way. None of them could at this point.

– – –

It was eleven when Patrick arrived with Anna, and he was a walking ball of distress. Dale spoke to him and apologized, filling him in on how the baby was and how Iris was. Little baby nameless could have visitors now, but they agreed that Iris should be the first to see the baby. Andrea wasn't sure she could keep that deal, because she needed to see something good, but she wanted her daughter to see that baby first as well.

Dr. S waved to Andrea and Daryl this time, and they approached him. "You've been waiting here all night, I see."

"Of course we have." Andrea had to resist the urge to glare.

"Well, I have good news. And bad news."

Andrea's lungs tightened. "What's the bad news?"

"We can take it," Daryl assured him.

"That kink in your neck from sleeping on those chairs won't go away without a massage. Trust me."

Andrea did glare this time. "What the hell is going on with our daughter?"

He chuckled. "Hey, you wanted the bad news first. As for Iris, well, she's stable. You can see her as well."

"Oh, thank God." Andrea smiled and nodded. "I want to see her now."

"She's pretty weak. She's coming off anesthesia." His eyes fell on the party behind them. "Only you both for now. She needs to rest."

"Yeah."

They were guided to her room, Andrea picked up her hand and held it in both of hers, pressing a kiss to her forehead, and Daryl hovered in the doorway. She was slightly flush and just now stirring, but she looked well for someone who had spent hours in surgery.

"Mmm..." Iris rolled her head to the side, her eyes opening. "Mommy?"

Andrea smiled. "And Dad too."

Her eyes moved to the doorway, and a weak smile spread across her lips. "Hey."

"Hey." He entered and accepted her barely raised hand, sitting beside her. "How do you feel?"

"Hazy." She swallowed. "How's the baby?"

"She's fine. She's...fine." Andrea was smoothing the hair back from her face gently. "You can see her later. You should rest now."

"Have you seen her?" She was asking both of them, but her eyes were on Daryl. "What does she look like?"

"She's beautiful, real tiny, looks just like you when you were a baby, and she's healthy."

Her eyes drooped. "That's good. I'm so...relieved."

Andrea looked up as a nurse pulled a needle from her IV bag, and she nodded to Daryl. They carefully set her hands back on the bed and exited the room. The second the door was shut, Andrea smacked his arm, and he glowered at her.

"When did you see the baby? We made a deal, Dixon."

"I didn't. I was just...tryin' comfort her. It was a vague ass description anyway, and she ain't gonna remember it."

"Oh. Sorry. I haven't slept, and I become grouchy."

"Yeah. Grouchy ain't the word for it."

She glowered now.

––

Andrea and Daryl stayed at the hospital while everybody went home and changed and got something to eat. Carol didn't want to leave him, but he didn't want her to stay. He was fine, and so were Iris and the baby. It was okay now, and he wanted her to take care of herself, and Sophia needed her. They would be back soon, and he had semi-decent company. Andrea had napped for twenty minutes and was a little nicer. For now. They looked in on Iris, who was still resting, and Andrea turned to him.

"Who do you think the baby looks like? Iris or Patrick? Blue eyes or brown?"

He shrugged. "How about you?"

"Blue eyes, maybe favoring Iris a bit more than Patrick." She shrugged back. "I honestly don't know."

He bit his bottom lip. "Ruth wants to see Iris."

Her eyes sliced into his. "What?"

"She found me and Carol. She's dyin', wants to make amends with Iris."

"And you told her what exactly?"

"That it was up to Iris, 'cause it is."

"She's a child!"

"Yeah, she is, but she'll be eighteen in a few months. It's also not us who have to live with regret. She wants to see Iris, and I don't think it'll do her any harm, so why not let Iris decide?"

She groaned. "I hate when you're right."

"We'll let her see Iris after she sees the baby, sees everybody else."

"Yeah, that'd be good." She smiled at him suddenly. "Do you know what I just realized?"

"Hmm?"

"We're grandparents." She had been so focused on Iris that didn't consider what the baby meant. The worry and fear consumed her happiness that her grandchild had survived. She was beyond thrilled, but not enough to linger on the child for long. She wanted both of them to come out of this, and now they had. They were in the clear, and they were grandparents. "Iris is a mother."

"Patrick's a dad." He chewed on the tip of his nail. "How bad do you think they'll fuck up?"

"Oh, it'll be disaster."

"Ten bucks Patrick put the diaper on backwards at least once."

"Twenty bucks he does it twice."

"You're on."

– – –

The baby was beautiful, just like Daryl had said. She had big brown eyes, the same mouth as her mother, and her father's nose and hair. She yawned widely, squirming in her white and yellow floral patterned onesie and bringing a smile to Iris' lips. She was precious, small and round and perfect.

"May I join you?" Sophia stuck her head in now that Patrick and Iris had their time alone with the baby.

"Yeah." She smiled.

They had all seen the baby, held her and hugged Iris, and it was just really great to see that they both were okay. Now only Andrea, Shane, Daryl and Mom remained. Dale and Amy were making preparations at the house for the baby and for Iris. They were staying at the hospital so they could monitor them, but they would be home soon enough. Sophia would have to find a way to help Iris out that didn't involve doing her homework; she barely wanted to do her own homework.

"I don't want to pressure anybody, but does she have a name yet?" Sophia glanced from Patrick to Iris. "I don't like calling her "her" or "the baby" all the time."

"She has a name," Patrick responded. "We just decided on what it'll be. We're waiting for her parents."

"Oh." Sophia sank into the chair behind her. "How's your stay?"

"I just want to go home." Iris rolled her eyes slightly. "Mom slept with me last night. I was still out, but I could smell her perfume, hear her telling me a story. And I think Dad was here at one point. I don't remember it though. It might have been a dream."

"I doubt it. Daryl and Andrea have been with you since you could have visitors."

"Did anybody bring my album?" Iris suddenly asked.

"Uhh, no. Wasn't it in your bag?" Patrick picked it up and sifted through it.

"No. I wanted to add her weight and everything before I forgot."

"Iris." Sophia crossed her legs. "She's five pounds, nine ounces. It's right there on the side of that plastic crib thing."

Iris blushed. "Shut up!"

Sophia laughed. "Fill in the name part of that card soon. I'll go round up the parents."

"Please do."

Patrick set the bag down on the floor. "I wish I could have been with you. When you first woke up."

"You're here now." She laced her fingers through his. "Plus I barely remember Mom and Dad being with me."

"You're right. I just wish your parents had called me, even if I was taking tests. I had no idea what was going on."

"Yeah." She rubbed her thumb over his knuckle. "You're with us now, so don't hold it against them. They were stressed out and terrified."

"I know. I feel guilty for having fun and you were..."

"At least someone had a good time," Iris remarked. "You have something to tell the baby."

"Not really." He laughed a little. "It'd probably put her to sleep."

"Even better." She smirked at him.

"Enough with that." Andrea stood at the end of the bed. "We don't need another grandchild."

Iris made a face.

Shane slid in behind her and moved around to the side. "At least she's feeling better."

"I am feeling a little better, but that's not why I asked you all in here."

"Are you finally namin' this baby?" Daryl inquired.

"Yes. God, you people are so pushy," she joked.

"So, what did you two decide on?" Andrea shifted. "What do we call our granddaughter?"

Iris ran her eyes over the people in front of her, smiling at the warmth in her heart, and she exhaled, clearing her throat. "Her name is Celia Grace."

Andrea glanced at Daryl and smiled. "It's perfect."

"What do you think, Daryl?" Patrick could see how Iris watched him, her hand grasping tightly to the sheet on the bed.

He met his daughter's eyes. "It's a good name. Suits her well."

"I'm happy you guys think so." She was beaming.

"Yeah," he spoke softly, but smiled back at her.

––

"Hey, Iris." Daryl sat on the edge of her bed. "I need to talk to you."

"What about?" She studied his face. "Is this bad news?"

"No, it's not. Well, it could be." He shook his head. "There's someone who wants to see you."

"Who? I thought everybody already came." Carl, Enid, Lizzie and Mika left an hour ago, her family had been with her since day one, and Grandma was on her way here. She would be here to greet her tomorrow afternoon at the latest. "Oh, Merle? Is Uncle Merle here?"

"No. He'll see you tomorrow at home. He's busy right now. He spends his apologizes." If Merle saw Ruth, he'd likely wring her neck. He couldn't stand her, even less than Daryl could, and Daryl wasn't too happy that Merle had contacted Ruth without even telling him. So it was best that Merle wasn't here right now.

"I hope he isn't working himself too hard."

"Oh, trust me, he'll be fine."

"Then who wants to see me?"

He set his hand over hers. "Ruth wants to see you."

"Ruth?" Her nose crinkled. "Why?"

"She's ill, Iris, like your birth mom was. She wants to make amends. It's up to you whether she sees you or not. Andrea and I decided it's your decision to make, and we won't intervene."

"She's dying?"

"Yeah. But don't let that influence your decision. You might not want to hear what she has to say. It might not be kind."

"No, it's fine. I want to see her. I mean, maybe she's changed. I know people don't change easy, but...if I don't hear her out now, I might not have the chance later."

He nodded. "I'll go get her."

"Hey, Dad?" She gripped his hand so he couldn't stand up.

"What?"

"Carol told me...what you said when I was in surgery." She searched his eyes and smiled softly. "I love you, Dad. I want you to know that what happened when I was a kid wasn't your fault. I know I have no memory, but I know the story. It was Joe's fault if anybody's. The driver tried to stop, and the doctors saved me. You were distraught, and I know you think it's better to blame yourself so it'll make more sense, but it wasn't your fault. Not even leaving."

He gulped. "Carol, huh?"

"Dad." She groaned.

"I hear you." He smiled to the left of his mouth. "I got it, kid." He ruffled her hair on his way out and showed Ruth in.

Iris ran her fingers through her hair and lifted her head when her grandmother walked in. "Ruth."

"Hello." She didn't move any closer, and her eyes instantly moved to the baby sleeping quietly beside Iris. "Is that your daughter?"

"No, she's a rental."

Ruth almost smiled. "She's beautiful."

"Thank you." She gestured to the chair by her bed. "You can have a seat."

"No, I'll be quick." She reached into her purse and set a yellow folder on the foot of the bed. "I want to apologize for what I said to you that day, and the lies I told. You probably already know the story. I took you before Celia could see you and dumped you off at Daryl's. I...hid the album when she was going to leave with Daryl."

"You hide the album from my mother?" Iris gaped.

"I thought she would mention it to Daryl, and he'd eventually come to find it. I hoped he would bring you, but that didn't happen. Then Celia died, and you were hit by a car. I thought if I could take you back from Daryl, I could make up for my mistakes with Celia, but it was foolish. You and my daughter have nothin' in common, and I destroyed Celia's life so it's a good thing that woman got you."

"Her name is Andrea," Iris snapped. "Andrea! She's my mom, and I love her. She's a great mom, and she's a great person. And Daryl is too. Just because you don't like them doesn't mean you can take that tone when you talk about them. They're my family, okay? So is Celia. Even you couldn't take that away."

Ruth chuckled once, and it was dry, humorless sound. "I know." She pointed to the folder. "Celia would want you to have wanted you to have them."

"Them?" Iris gazed at the folder.

"Pictures. I found the memory card in her room. They're mostly of you. Far away shots of you and a teenager in a park, some with you and your father. They were taken a few days before she had to be hospitalized. I had them printed off, and the memory card is in there too. You'll never know my daughter, but you should know she loved you more than her own life. She never would have aborted you."

"What?"

"I pushed her into that corner, gave her no choice, but it would appear you gave her the strength to say no. She lived with Rosita for a while when she was pregnant to avoid me, but...of course I found her. It was too late to do anything, but she told me Daryl was taking you. I made sure she went through with that. I'm the reason you didn't have a mother in your life. Well, in the beginning of your life." She lowered her gaze. "God only knows what she told Daryl to keep him off my scent. She was so foolish."

"She loved you," Iris muttered. "Even with all the things you did, she loved you."

"Well." She lifted her head. "I apologize for all of the cruel, heartless things I did to your mother and to you."

"Do you really want my forgiveness?" Iris shifted slightly on the bed.

"Yes."

"Apologize to my dad. He's the one you hurt the most. I don't remember any of it, but he does. Apologize wholeheartedly to him, and I'll forgive you for everything."

"You want me to apologize...to Daryl?"

"Yes. To my father."

"All right." Her jaw tightened, but she turned to look out the door where Daryl and another teenager were talking. She inhaled deeply and marched out the door over to them. "Daryl."

"Ruth." He faced her.

"I'd like to speak with him privately, if you don't mind."

"She's stays." Daryl spoke before Sophia could. "This is my family, Ruth. Anythin' you have to say to me, you can say in front of her. This is Sophia, by the way."

"Hi." She smiled sweetly. "I don't have to be here. I should find Mom—"

"No, it's fine." He straightened. "You were sayin', Ruth."

"I came to make amends with Iris, and she will only accept my apology if it's made to you."

Daryl blinked. "What?"

"She feels I've hurt you more than her."

"Well, of course you have!" Sophia scoffed. "Iris doesn't remember her past, but Daryl lives with it every day. How dare you try and turn away from the fact that you almost ruined his life. You could have easily ruined Iris' life, but thankfully God was watching over her and sent Andrea her way. Don't you dare look annoyed or disgusted, because Iris is completely right." She then blushed and covered her mouth, not meaning to have such an outburst. "I—I'm sorry. I didn't—"

Daryl snorted. "Sounds about right. Don't apologize."

Ruth heaved a sigh.

"You won't ever apologize to me and mean it," Daryl stated. "Doesn't matter if you do or don't. I don't need your apology. So just go and tell Iris I accepted it, let her forgive you and leave."

"Why would you let me do that?"

"Don't ask questions, just go." He nudged Sophia. "Let's give them some privacy. We should go find Carol."

Iris watched them talk through the window on her door, but couldn't make out their words. Her heart was pounding when Sophia suddenly went off on Ruth, and she wondered what happened, what was said. She gripped the sheets tighter then Daryl gave a slight smile and strolled off with Sophia. She bit her bottom lip when Ruth reentered her room. "Well? How'd it go?"

"He said he accepted my apology."

"He did?" She studied her face and nodded. "Okay. I forgive you."

Ruth nodded. "I won't bother you again."

"It wasn't really a bother this time, but if that's how you feel then it was nice to seeing you, and I hope you find peace." She smiled kindly.

"The same to you."

Her smile fell when Ruth exited, and she sighed, shaking her head. She picked up the folder and untwisted the string. Flipping back the flap, she peered inside and pulled out pictures. She saw herself as a young child, playing with...Maggie Greene, and Dad was there too in some. They looked so happy, and she knew Maggie picked out some of her clothes, because Dad wasn't good at stuff like that. Well, that's entirely true. He did bought the white and yellow floral onesie for his granddaughter. It was pretty cute, but Carol might have helped him out with that.

"Hey, I'm about to..." Carol trailed off. "You okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You're crying." She carefully sat beside her. "I was emotional after I had Sophia as well, so don't worry."

She laughed as Carol wiped away tears. "Thanks."

"What are those?" She pointed to the pictures on Iris' lap.

"Pictures. Ruth dropped them off. Apparently Celia took them before she died."

"Ruth left? How did that go?"

She blew out another sigh. "She hasn't really changed. She just wanted to hear me forgive her, and I have, but I wish she had been honest with me."

"She's out of your life. You have a grandmother who loves you and is on her way to see you."

"I know." She tucked hair behind her ear. "What were you about to ask before you saw me crying?"

"Oh, nothing. It's not important. May I?"

"Yeah, yeah." She handed half of the pile to Carol.

"Wow." Carol's eyes fixated on Daryl and his smile when he played with Iris.

"I know. It's bizarre." She sniffed. "My mom was a stalker."

Carol laughed. "I meant how everybody looks."

"Oh, I know." She lowered her pictures and peered at the one Carol held. "He's so happy there. Me too, it seems."

"I think he's getting back to that happiness," Carol confessed to Iris.

"So do I."

"Am I interrupting?" Andrea poked her head in.

"No, join us." Iris held out pictures. "Here, look at these."

Andrea grasped the pictures at the edges and gasped. "Oh, this is you when you were a baby."

"I wasn't a baby."

"You're so cute." She sat beside them in the chair. "You must have been about three or four."

"Have you seen her pigtails? Daryl had to have done those." Carol giggled and pointed them out.

"Look at her little legs." Andrea leaned close to Carol to show her. "And those cheeks. Aww."

Iris rolled her eyes but was grinning. She liked having pictures of herself when she was young. She didn't really have any, just the one on her key chain. She was happy that Ruth had given these to her. The only kind thing she's probably ever done. She lied, but that didn't matter. Carol was right; she had a grandmother, a grandfather, two moms and two dads and a sister. She had a daughter now too. She had more family than she knew what to do with, and she was thankful for that. She was blessed to have been given a second chance like this. Well, more than just a second chance, but still. She hoped the rest of them were half as happy as she was.


	25. Epilogue: Sunrise

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

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"How long has it been since we've had time alone?" Carol snuggled closer to him, the movie he had chosen played the opening credits, and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Four weeks?" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I can't be sure. Could be five."

"I think I'm permanently seeing a flash in my eyes."

He chuckled. "I know what you mean. I swear, every time I'm over at their house, someone's takin' a damn picture." And they didn't use the flash on the baby, only on everybody else. It was mostly Shane. He was an asshole with the camera. He thought it was hilarious. Daryl wondered if he found it funny to have his camera be chewed on by Honey. It was karma. Though to hear Carol tell it, Daryl smothered the camera in peanut butter and gave it to Honey.

It had been a hectic four or five weeks. They had to take Celia to the hospital a few times for an ear infection, but she was healthy now, and very happy. She was the giggliest baby in the entire world, and she absolutely loved her grandparents. Iris and Patrick were favorites too, but hand her to Andrea or Daryl or Carol, and she's all smiles. Sometimes even with Shane. Of course sometimes babies just had to cry.

Even with the lack of sleep and excess of tears, it was perfect. When Iris had a test or Patrick had an exam, Daryl and Carol would take the baby so they could study without any interruptions. Often Carol would come downstairs to find Daryl passed out on the couch with Celia on his chest, carefully tucked under his arms. It was the most precious sight.

"What movie is this?"

" _Turner and Hooch_."

"Weren't you supposed to let me borrow this movie five years ago?"

"...no."

She smiled. "Uh-huh."

Honey jumped up on the couch with them, resting her head on Daryl's thigh, and Daryl grasped one of her ears and rubbed it how she liked.

"Does the dog die?" Carol inquired.

"Will you just watch the movie?"

"If I cry, I'm hitting in the arm."

"Okay."

Daryl shifted on the couch as they watched the movie, both amused with how Hooch destroyed Turner's house and kept him up at night. He knew five years ago was poor timing to watch this move. After Bear was killed, he just decided it was best to forget about the movie. Tonight, though, it served a purpose. He was filled with anticipation as he felt her hand grasp the hem of his shirt more and more, observing the nighttime action scene. She jumped when the man shot Hooch, and Daryl set his hand over hers.

The movie was nearly over, Turner stormed through the house, following the mess made by an unknown source, and when the floppy-eared culprit was found, he said: _This is not your room._

"Asshole." Her voice was soft, but he could hear the thickness there.

"I didn't make any promises."

She sat up and wiped at her eyes. "Does it say something horrible about me that I can watch people die in movies and not cry, but when an animals is killed, I cry like a baby?"

He chuckled. "No." He pulled out a red bandanna, offering it to her to wipe her eyes with. "Don't have any tissues." He stood up and ejected the movie out of the DVD player.

She accepted it and felt something hard in it. "I think I found your lunch change." She unwrapped it and instead of finding a quarter, she found a diamond ring. "Daryl...?" She looked up to find him down on one knee in front of her.

"Carol." He grasped her hand.

"Oh, my God," she breathlessly whispered.

"I'm not good with this sort of thing, and you know that, but I love you. I've loved you for almost six years, and I know I'll love you for the rest of my life. You're the only person who's accepted all of me, who understands all the shit I've been through. You said I saved you all those years ago at the shelter, but it was you..." His face was pink, but he continued. "I told you I wanted you to be the last woman I loved, and if you'll have me, I'd like to be the last man you love. So...Carol, will you marry me?"

Her hand tightened around the bandanna-wrapped ring, and she embraced him. "Of course I will." She felt tears in her eyes, and she kissed him. "Yes."

He smiled, cupping her cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too." She kissed him again.

 _~Three Years Later~_

"This is what happens when your mom hides things and tries to elope," Sophia scolded, adjusting the flowers in her mother's bouquet.

Carol glared playfully. "I didn't want a big wedding, or a big deal to be made of it. I know how you girls are."

"It's my fault, if anybody's." Iris ran her eyes over the dress and crossed her arms. "I got pregnant and devoured everybody's income. Me and diapers and bills."

"It wasn't your fault." Carol shook her head. "Daryl's business took money, and the house—"

"It's fine to admit it was my fault," Iris interrupted. "That's why I'm paying partly for today. I want you and Dad to be happy, and I'm happy we could get everybody here."

"I know. It's incredible." Sophia laughed and held out the bouquet. "Here you are."

"Thank you."

"I'll go get the veil." Iris grabbed her heels off the stool on her way.

Carol gazed at her reflection and sighed happily. It had been a crazy three years. Amazing and crazy. Daryl's business took off, and he was swarmed with work. He and Merle both were a little in over their heads, but with some aid from Hershel and T-dog, they managed to sort it out. Daryl was out most nights, trying to figure out how far he wanted his business to go and for planning. He always left the coffee pot on, and whenever Carol came home and saw that light on, she knew he likely wouldn't be home tonight. She would leave a message on his phone, saying good night and she loved him. Some mornings she would wake up to find a dusty beer bottle with a white flower sticking out of it on her nightstand. She had a collection of dusty bottles; she started dumping them in the recycling bin. Sophia threatened to drive down from college to do it if she didn't.

It had been a year since Sophia moved out of the house. She had been working and saving money, and as a Christmas gift Daryl and Carol gave her the rest of the money she needed for an apartment. She and Enid starting living together a couple months ago after Enid decided to stick around here for college. She had left and came back twice, and this time Sophia talked her in to staying. She was already leaning toward it, and Sophia just sealed the deal. Sophia needed a roommate to help with bills and food anyway, and Enid didn't snore, unlike her roommate from her dorm. They had gotten closer since living together, and Sophia brought Enid home for Easter and her birthday. It was nice.

Sophia and Carl remained close as well. They often had dinner together and studied for tests. He was originally supposed to move in with her, but they began to date again. He didn't want to make it awkward or put pressure on her. He lived close by, and they saw a lot of each other. He came home with her for Christmas and Thanksgiving. It was a brief exchange, as he had to go home or his mother and father would drag him back. His keeping in contact skills were poor, and Sophia had to nudge him to call home or e-mail his parents on how he was doing. They were happy together, and they were considering buying a dog. They would both take turns with it, and Enid wasn't allergic and actually always wanted a dog, so they started thinking on what type of dog they wanted. Sophia promised that she would love this new puppy and Honey the same, but the old girl turned away at the mention of "puppy".

Patrick was doing well. He was well on his way to becoming a teacher, and he was living on his own like he planned to. He worked his ass off all the time, but he seemed pleased with the direction his life was heading in. He often stopped by the shelter to speak with Carol. She had become something of an adoptive parent to him, as his own mother wouldn't answer the door or phone if she knew it was him. He even started buying flowers for her on Mother's Day, claiming that it was simply appreciation for her tending so diligently to his daughter. He was a thoughtful kid. Well, a thoughtful young man. He was a good father, dedicated to his child as well as his studies, and he doing a remarkable job finding balance. No one was sure if he ever slept, but he didn't let his exhaustion show. And if he slipped up, it was typically around Iris. He let himself be still around her. Celia kept him on his toes. Always.

As for Iris, she spent her days working and taking care of Celia. She had help from her parents—both sets. She matured even more when the baby was born and took initiative over her life. She began taking night classes a year ago, and she decided to become a neonatal nurse. She was passionate about it, and she was doing well in her classes. She had a more difficult time finding a balance among motherhood, work and school. She had a few minor breakdowns from stress and from being overwhelmed. Daryl and Andrea had to talk her through them and consoled her. Merle helped her find an outlet for all of her stress and frustration; they would go out and track or fish or use her bow until she felt better. It was a great way for them to bond. They were closer than ever, and it made Daryl smile a little.

It was late September when Sophia and Iris dropped in for a surprise visit, Carol had been cleaning and Daryl was working on the guest bedroom. Since Iris left the baby with Carol some days, they needed a place for her to nap. Sophia had taken her old bed, and Daryl didn't want the baby in their room, because of all the things she could get into. He cleared out the boxes and was morphing it an office and her nap room. He enjoyed doing little projects when he could.

Anyway, the girls had rushed into the house all excited and betrayed. Apparently Lori had taken them out to dinner and let it slip that Daryl had proposed. They weren't waiting for anything. Work was just keeping them busy, and Carol and he both had to watch baby, and it just eluded them for years. She didn't mind waiting, and neither did he. They were actually going to just go to city hall and get it done when Iris came to take Celia this weekend. Then the girls found out...made them plan an actual wedding. After an hour they took over and kicked them out of the house.

When Daryl and Carol came back, they had it all planned out and then proceeded to drag Carol to find a dress and Daryl to find a suit. It was annoying at first, but when she saw how pleased and giggly the girls were about finding a dress and a suit and having a ceremony, she came around. She didn't have much of a first wedding, and Daryl didn't want a big wedding, however they both agreed a small wedding with immediate family suited them just fine.

So there they were. Hershel allowed them to use the land where the barn once was. It was clear now and nature had taken it back. It was beautiful, little wild flowers had sprouted up, and any angle a picture was taken would be excellent.

Maggie and Beth were on board the second they heard about the wedding. Beth was worse than the girls, and together they were a trio of demons. If anybody said anything negative or slacked, they got the "look" for all three of them. It was enough for Merle to toss his hands up and back the hell away. He was likely dressed and downstairs now. He was, of course, the best man, though he gave the speech to Iris. Carol struggled but in the end Sophia was her maid of her honor, and Karen didn't mind. She made herself the officiator of their wedding, and Carol laughed at first, but the thought of someone she loved so much marrying her to the love of her life made her happy.

Maggie and her husband had provided a tables and chairs for the reception. It was almost too much. Maggie insisted on doing it as a thank you for all the long hours Carol worked at the shelter, and it doubled as a wedding gift. Glenn had offered to let them have a few free pizzas from his old job as a gift, and while Daryl had thought about it, Carol politely declined. She was very grateful for the tables, and she didn't want to feel any more guilt than she already did. She had to make it up to Daryl later. He really wanted those free pizzas.

Annette had kindly allow them to use the house to get ready in, and as a thank for this and for allowing them to stay in the barn, Carol invited them to the wedding. She wanted to do so much more, but Hershel assured her that wasn't necessary. Then Beth let it slip that Daryl and Merle had already promised to rebuild a barn for Hershel for free. She was stunned for a moment, and she wanted to talk to Daryl about it; however, Beth had only told her about ten minutes ago and she was already dressed, so she would have to wait to speak to him.

"Celia." Iris found her on the floor with Carol's veil. "You're as nosy as me sometimes." She smiled. "May I have that? Please?"

Sophia moved a loose strand of hair from her face. "You look beautiful, Mom."

"Thank you," she embraced her daughter, "for this and so much more. You steamroll people, but I'm happy you did here. Both of you."

Iris grinned at them, strolling over to them with the veil in one hand and Celia in the other. "You're very welcome."

Carol returned it. "Should I expect teeth marks?"

"Probably." Iris laughed and handed the veil to Sophia. "Don't worry. Nobody will be looking at your veil, not when you look like that."

"I don't know whether to feel complimented or self-conscious."

"Complimented," Sophia remarked, adding the veil. It was a gift from Annette from her wedding. It was the something old. Mom joked their eyes was the something blue, and Sophia had let her borrow a pair of flats, and the something new was still empty for now. "For sure."

"We still need something new." Iris pursed her lips. "Hmm, what do you think? What should be our something new?"

Celia looked at her mom and gave a small, "I dunno."

Sophia giggled at the sound. "Gosh, she's so cute. Could I just take her home? Please?"

"I don't need a babysitter tonight, but maybe tomorrow," Iris stated.

Sophia stuck her tongue out since they weren't allow to do or say anything vulgar in front of the toddler. "Butt head."

"This has been helpful," Carol informed them, "but I've got it covered."

"Are you sure? I can think of something." Iris glanced at her watch. "We have twenty minutes."

"I'm positive. Why don't you guys make sure everybody came since I can't leave this room."

"Iris can do that. I still have to get my dress on...and find my shoes." She scanned the floor. "Oh, no."

"They're on the bed." Iris pointed them out. "I'll be back when everything's ready."

Carol nodded.

She slipped out of the room and saw Hershel and Maggie having a laugh by the front door. Iris used the back door to let them have that time, and she saw what they were laughing about when she turned the corner of the house. Honey was wrestling around on the ground, trying to wriggle free of the ribbon someone had tied to her neck, and from how the bow was done it had to have been Beth. Or maybe Andrea or Karen. It was likely Beth though, as she had done the same thing to her own dog.

Iris shielded her eyes from the sun and spotted Karen and Tyreese with Mom and Dad. Well, stepdad. It wasn't official yet, but Iris had gone with Shane to shop for rings. She didn't know when he would pop the question, and she didn't care. She knew Mom would say yes, and she knew it would be a small wedding. City hall, best clothes, dinner at their favorite restaurant. That would be it. It would be cute. She knew a small wedding was perfect for them, but Carol and Dad were different. They needed this.

"Hey." Karen left her husband's side and hurried over to Iris. "Is she ready?"

"Almost. I just came to do a head count."

"Everybody's here." She crossed her arms. "The only problem we have with the guests is Merle. He wouldn't put his suit on, but he is wearing nice...ish clothes."

"He refused to even browse suits with me and Dad, so I'm not surprise."

"Right, speaking of your father... Well, last I heard he was complaining about his suit."

Iris laughed. "Yeah, he did that the entire time I was with him picking it out." She sighed. "I'll go check on him."

"I can take Celia, if you want. I have to check on Harrison anyway."

"No, I've got her. Besides if anyone can put a smile on his sour face, it's her. Thanks though."

"Good luck."

Iris found her dad in the guest bedroom, his face etched with annoyance, and she was trying not to laugh, because he only had the shirt on. He was struggling with the tie, and he was muttering curses under his breath. He continued to do that, not hearing Iris' giggles under her breath, but he did hear Celia call out to him.

"What're you doin'?" He faced her.

"I was told you were...having issues with your suit." She entered the room. "I came to check on you."

"Suit's a piece of crap. I don't see why I gotta wear it."

"Because all of your pants have holes, and all of your shirts are dingy. No offense. I know how you get."

"Merle ain't wearin' a monkey suit."

"Uncle Merle also isn't getting married." She reached out and yanked the tie off his neck. "Even I can tie a tie."

"Carol don't care what I wear, just that I'm there," he grumbled.

"I know. It was my idea. I thought it'd be nice." She handed Celia over to him and looked over suit splayed out on the bed behind him. "Maybe just wear the shirt and...I'll go get you some new pants. The jeans you have on now won't do."

"Nah, it's fine. I'll wear it." He sat on the bed, Celia's hand wrapped around his index finger, and he looked over his daughter. "You all right?"

"Yes, I'm all right." She tucked hair behind her ear.

"Lair."

She smiled a little. "I'm just...really happy for you. I want today to be special and memorable, and all I feel is that Sophia and I forced this on you guys."

"Iris—"

"Well, we bum rushed you guys, didn't we? We were so thrilled when we found out you were engaged, and we just planed everything. Literally everything. All you guys did was choose the cake."

"We chose the cake? You sure?"

"Dad." She groaned, and he laughed at her. "Be serious, okay? I know Carol's pleased, and she looks so beautiful. But you?"

"Wait. Carol likes all this?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm." He tried to lightly pull his finger from Celia's grasp, but she held on tighter, giggling at his efforts. "I'll get dressed, but could you give me a hand with the tie? And this little monster?"

She laughed softly. "What, no dance lessons?"

"Not again." He chuckled at the memory. "All right. Let me change. I'll come find you when I need my tie done."

"Sure." She leaned over and helped him free his finger. "We'll be outside the door."

"Okay."

She stepped outside and bit her lip, laughing softly when she thought about that day.

– – –

" _You're going to have to dance with her," Andrea commented. "It's sweet, and Carol will love it."_

" _Why do you always say that?" Daryl argued. "Carol will love these flowers. Carol will love this restaurant. Carol will love those earrings. Carol will love this engagement ring."_

" _Because you're a sucker for things you know Carol will love." She smirked. "And I was right, wasn't I? Carol loved them."_

 _He glared. "I ain't doin' this."_

" _Dad, come on." Iris gripped the back of the couch. "Carol will want a first dance with her husband—the first husband who's ever loved her unconditionally and healthily. She liked the idea, but she knew you would never agree."_

" _Even Iris is doing it now." Sophia sat beside Daryl on the steps. "I think it's a family thing."_

" _You don't do it."_

" _One of us had to be the good one," Sophia teased. "And when I rebel in my twenties, Iris can finally be the good one."_

" _Hardy-har-har." Iris scoffed and folded her arms. "All I want to do is teach my dad how to dance. It'll be your only first dance with your new wife, so please. Please, just say yes."_

" _You don't gotta word it like that," he grumbled._

" _Is that a yes?" Iris perked up. "I'll take a reluctant yes at this point."_

" _It'd be nice for you guys," Sophia added, tying to sway him. "Mom never talks about her first wedding, and even if she did, I doubt anything that happened mattered to her. It will this time, and it'd be good for you guys to embrace a little bit of tradition. I mean, don't you think so?"_

" _Yeah, come on, Daryl." Andrea glanced at her watch. "Do it for Carol."_

" _Fine!" He groaned and stomped over to the back door to check on Honey. "Fine."_

" _Yes!" Iris cheered. "I'll go find some music."_

" _I have to get to work." Andrea stepped toward the kitchen. "I'll be working late, so make sure the girls eat."_

" _I know." Daryl nodded. "Iris has the nanny cam thing on the table, and Carol just brought some food for the baby. I'm off today, and she'll be home by seven, or eight at the latest. We'll be fine."_

" _I know you will be. I just worry."_

 _Sophia hopped up and off the stairs. "I worry too, which is why I'm here. While Iris is teaching Daryl to dance, I'll keep an eye on Celia."_

" _I am perfectly capable of multitasking," Iris remarked on her way back down the stairs with her purse. "Thanks for the vote of confidence though."_

" _Iris, I worried about you every single day," Andrea retorted. "And I will worry about you, my grandchild and Sophia for the rest of my life, okay?"_

 _Iris smiled and hugged her. "I know. Go to work."_

" _I'm off. Try not to injury the groom. He's kind of important." She smiled goodbye to Sophia and exited the house, heading for work._

" _All right." Iris bent down in front of the stereo and popped in a CD. "I got this from Patrick a week ago, so if you judge any of the songs here—it's his fault."_

" _No wonder you guys are so happy," Sophia mused. "With an attitude like that, you'll make it passed exchanging crystal, I'm sure."_

" _I don't know what year married couples exchanged crystal, and even if I did, I'm not offended." She clicked her tongue and let the first song play for ten seconds before changing it. "Dad, do you want to start with a slow dance?"_

 _He grunted. "All I intend to do is the first dance."_

" _First and last dance, got it." Iris stopped on a classical music score. "How's this?"_

 _Sophia shook her head. "Do you and Mom have a song?"_

" _No." He leaned against the back of the couch, hands tucked under his arms, and he shook his head. "We don't really listen to music."_

" _Mom might have one. I'll ask her one." She swiped her phone off the table and began to text her mom. "I hope she's not busy."_

" _We can use one of my favorite songs," Iris suggested. "It's good for dancing. It was in the album Celia left me."_

" _She left you a list of songs?" Daryl narrowed his eyes._

 _She nodded. "They were her favorite songs, and she wanted to know what I thought about them. I think this one should work until we have an actual song."_

" _We ain't got anythin' else." He pushed off the couch. "Let's just get this over with."_

" _Don't make it sound like torture."_

" _It is."_

" _Do you really hate this?" Iris met his eyes. "Isn't a little part of you happy? Or...I don't know, not grouchy and not wanting to fight every suggestion?"_

 _He heaved a sigh. "Just ain't a weddin' type."_

" _Well, please try. Not for me or Sophia, but for Carol. C'mon, it's the best day of her life, with people who love her all around and a groom who not only adores her but is good to and for her. I mean, it's surprising it worked out so well, and I wanted you guys to remember this twenty, forty years down the road when you're old and wrinkled."_

" _And dyin'?"_

" _Dad!" she groaned._

" _I'm only kiddin'." He grasped her hand. "So, how do we do this? You smash my feet a couple of times? Lecture me on my posture?"_

" _No, that was last week." Sophia tucked hair behind her ear._

 _Iris smiled. "I apologized."_

" _Yeah," he learned toward her, "not enough."_

" _Fine then. I'm sorry. I hadn't slept enough, because I have a baby and school and a job, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have stomped on your foot or lectured you. It won't happen again." She took his other hand. "In five minutes, it won't happen again. Your shoulders shouldn't slouch that much."_

" _You're shorter than me!" he argued._

" _Well, it'll look bad in the suit."_

" _Suit?"_

" _Shirt, suit, whatever. Slouching doesn't work in any of them." She averted her eyes. "And you should probably put your hand on my hip, not my shoulder."_

" _I could teach him." Sophia hopped up. "I'm taller, and I don't lecture."_

" _He was my dad first."_

" _Prove it."_

" _That's not fair, because I can't."_

" _Exactly." She laughed. "Just find a good song. You can dance with him all you want at the actual wedding."_

" _I said one dance," he reiterated._

" _Sure, Dad, one dance." Iris patted his shoulder and grabbed her phone to find the song on YouTube._

" _You know she'll make you dance with her at her wedding," Sophia whispered when she exchanged places with Iris. "And there will be recordings of it, and she'll have some of it framed. There will be no escape."_

 _His brow twitched. "Lemme guess, you want the same thing too?"_

" _I don't know if I'll get married, but if I do...kinda." She smiled apologetically. "I just...never thought I'd get the chance with Ed, but now there's you. And it's stupid, but I really do want it."_

 _He drew in air and pursued his lips. "Damn, I wish I'd had a boy."_

" _Thanks, Dad, that makes me feel appreciated and so very loved." Iris found the song and joined them. "I can play it on my phone. Let me just turn off the stereo."_

 _Sophia moved back, Iris pushed power and stepped back, and Daryl looked from Iris to Sophia and smiled a little. The girls exchanged a glance and wondered what he was smiling about, but before either could ask, soft wailing sounded from the baby monitor._

" _I'll be right back."_

" _Nah, I'll get her." Daryl held his hand out to halt his daughter then hurried upstairs._

" _This doesn't excuse you!" Iris called after him and turned to Sophia. "What was that about?"_

" _I dunno."_

" _Maybe he's gonna sneak out the window." She crossed her arms. "It's not a long fall, and he did it once before."_

" _He fell off," Sophia corrected. "We were hanging Christmas lights, and he slid."_

" _Yes, but he lived."_

 _After a moment's pause, the girls scrambled up the stairs to the guest bedroom. Daryl was inside with Celia in his arms. Iris tripped in the doorway and caught herself. Sophia joined them, reaching out and brushing her thumb gingerly over the baby's cheek. Iris smiled at the sight of her father, daughter and sister, and she remembered her phone in her hands. She snapped a photo and held it to her chest, acting as if nothing happened, because Dad hated having his picture taken._

" _It doesn't matter," Daryl murmured, rocking the baby in his arms._

" _What doesn't?" Iris drew nearer._

" _What I said before about wishin' I had a boy." He lifted his head. "This is all I need. All of y'all, Carol, Merle, you're all that matters."_

 _Sophia grinned. "Yeah?"_

" _So if you want me to dance with you at your wedding and my own...I will." He reached over and ruffled Sophia's hair. "You're right. I just ain't gonna smile about it."_

" _That's fine." Sophia ducked away and over to Iris to straighten out her hair. "We're not asking you to."_

" _Beside you can do wonders with photoshop," Iris informed him._

––

It took five hours to finally teach him how to dance properly. Celia occupied an hour of it, lunch was another hour, and the other three were them fighting with him. He was the most reluctant man in the entire world, and it was a tad out of his comfort zone, but he worked through it. They were impressed with how willing he was in rare minutes, and it worked out perfectly. Carol would be astonished, and Iris couldn't wait to have that forever captured in a photo.

While Iris waited for Daryl to dress, Sophia rushed herself to dress and Carol helped her with the zipper. It was stressful to be this behind on her mother's wedding day, but the laughter made it fun. They had enjoyed themselves while getting ready, and it seemed to melt away any butterflies Carol had.

Sophia seated herself on the bed to strap on her heels. "Sorry, I'm so behind."

"Don't worry about it. There's time." She smiled. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you." She raised her eyes. "Are you anxious at all?"

"I was, but not anymore."

"Really? Why?"

"We'd been engaged for three years, and knowing that in less than an hour we'll be married..." She sucked in air through her teeth. "I feel like the time's just snuck up and tackled me."

"In a good way, though, right?"

"Yes." She ran her hands down the new material of her dress. "It's the same feeling I had when I had you. I knew I was pregnant, and I was excited. God, I was so excited to meet you and hold you in my arms, and when my water broke...it felt sudden. You were a week late, and I knew it would be any day yet it still felt abrupt."

Sophia set her feet on the ground. "You were happy afterwards."

"Of course I was."

"And during? Before pushing and all that, how did you feel?"

"Terrified. I wondered what kind of mother I would be, how I would protect you from the world and your own father, how could I show you what strength was when I was so weak." She cast her eyes away from her daughter. "I remember praying to God, pleading that you never end up in the same situation as me. I prayed and prayed that you would find strength that I didn't have and you would lead a life of happiness. It was all I could do."

"Mom." She reached out and clasped her hand. "We are both strong and happy now. God answered your prayers."

Carol squeezed her hand and nodded.

"You were strong the entire time you were with Ed," Sophia remarked. "You're the strongest person I know, and nothing that happened in the past will change that. Don't let Ed ruin today. This day is for you and Dad, to celebrate how much you love each other and how much we love you, so please don't waste a second on him."

She met her daughter's eyes. "I was thinking about the car. You didn't let the boys decorate it, did you? I heard Merle talk about filling it with condoms."

Sophia giggled. "No, no we didn't. Merle wasn't allow anywhere near the car."

"Thank God." She laughed.

Sophia embraced her. "I am beyond ecstatic for you."

"Heh."

She held on for a second longer then stepped back. "One day you'll be telling your grandchildren how you and Grandpa met."

"Oh, I can't wait. It's such a romantic story. Me crying in the bathroom, and Daryl hiding in a stall, and if it weren't for that candy bar, I would've never met him."

Sophia snorted. "Wait, that's how you met? Seriously? I thought you met him in the hall when I ran away."

"No. No, it was in the bathroom that first night. He offered me his bandanna for my tears."

"Well, that's cute."

Carol laughed at the awkward memory. "I'll just have to edit the story a little."

"Just a little."

"Hey." Iris opened the door. "It's time. Dad's completely dressed in his "monkey suit", and everyone's here."

"You made him wear a suit?" Carol gaped. "He agreed to that?"

"For you, yep."

"How much did you guys guilt him into doing for my sake?" Carol demanded.

"Just...like two things." Iris cleared her throat. "I swear. Two."

"Or all of it," Sophia mumbled.

"Girls!" Carol scolded.

"What? He fell for it! You can't be mad at only us." Iris remained in the hall. "And it's just one day."

Carol pinched the bridge of her nose. "When this is over, the four of us are sitting down and having a talk."

"When this is over," Sophia repeated. "For now, let's get this show on the road. I'll go make sure Aunt Karen is ready, and everyone is seated."

"Already done." Merle appeared behind Iris with Celia. "We're just waitin' on y'all."

"Then we shouldn't keep them waiting." Carol handed the girls their bouquets. "Merle, could you escort the flower girl down the aisle? She's a little forgetful."

"No can do." He handed the girl over to her mother.

"Why not?" Iris adjusted Celia and the bouquet.

"I got another job, but Patrick's on it."

"I'll go take her to Patrick then." Iris slipped out the doorway.

"I should go with her." Sophia followed her sister and niece.

"What other job?" Carol picked up her bouquet and joined him in the doorway. "I don't recall the girls mentioning you as anything other than Daryl's best man."

"I am his best man, but since your old man couldn't be here, I'd be honored to walk you down the aisle."

She slowly smiled. "Did I hear you correctly?"

"You did." He offered her his arm.

She looped her arm through his. "I wasn't expecting this."

"You've been family for a while now," he replied, "so let's make it official."

She kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Merle."

"You can repay me by giving us a boy."

"Don't push it."

He chuckled. "This way, Mrs. Dixon."

––

Like Carol and Daryl wanted, it was a small wedding. The Greenes, of course, were all invited and present, Karen and Tyreese with their kids, Andrea and Shane with Amy, and Patrick and Carl. Merle gave away Carol, Daryl seemed taken aback when they walked down the aisle together, and Iris was grinning at his face. Sophia held back a smile, knowing Merle could resist adding himself to such a big occasion. For Celia's first birthday, he made her a wooden rocking horse, and he made no attempt to hide it. It was talked about for an hour, because of it beautiful it was, and he smiled the rest of the day. He didn't want _all_ the attention, just _some_ of it.

Daryl couldn't help the smile on his lips at the glimpse of his bride. The girls hadn't found her a ridiculous puffy or massive dress. It suited her well, and she'd never looked more gorgeous. Or happy. It wasn't her smile; it was in her eyes—the same eyes that he had first seen eight years ago red and swollen in a dark bathroom. For the past seven years now, there wasn't a trace of that woman or sorrow, and he didn't know if that was him and their family or not, but he knew that part of it was him. Just as she was a major part of his own happiness. Without her, he didn't know where he would be. If he hadn't worked that day, if he hadn't bought that candy bar, if he hadn't chased after her kid, he didn't know how his life would have played out. Luckily he didn't have to know.

Everything that happened worked out for the better. There was suffering and tears and blood and regret; there was hatred and love and joy and loss. Years and years of that, and it wasn't for nothing. They couldn't always see the bigger picture, but all the lines that had been broken reconnected at some point. At a point where they needed to reconnect, and it was rough. It was difficult to smooth it out after years of forcing it away, but it had. And everyone came out stronger for it. It was finally growing up, and being able to accept a hug with flinching away, and being able to look in the mirror at your scars and seeing a survivor instead of a victim. It was realizing that the only place you could make amends were with the people who love and accept you no matter what you've done. It was being brave and taking that chance—that slim chance. That was all life was anymore, and chances and change weren't all negative. They realized that too.

– – –

"Ladies, gentlemen, tiny children," Iris spoke through cupped hands so they could hear her on the lawn. They had a lot of moving when the day was over, but it was worth it. It was a lovely day, and the pictures would print beautifully. She would cherish these memories forever. She wouldn't forget. "It's time for the couple's first dance."

"They didn't have a song," Sophia chimed, "so we picked one for them."

"Wait, what?" Carol sounded amused. "A first dance?"

"Yes, a first dance." Iris squinted at the sunlight reflecting off the white tablecloths.

"Daryl, are you okay with that?" she whispered.

"Yeah." He set his cup of water down.

She pursed her lips. "What did you pick?" Carol cringed at the thought of the music she'd heard the girls listening to over the years.

"One you'll like," Sophia vowed.

Daryl stood up and offered Carol his hands, and she accepted it. It would different dancing on grass, but the ground was even, and he didn't trip easy. He was prepared to catch Carol if she lost her footing. He was used to it, because his daughter had the balance of a stick of butter, and he'd learned that when they danced.

 _ **Take the blame off your back. It's a burden you don't own**_

 _ **Lay your head in my arms and I will be your home**_

 _ **You can't carry this alone**_

Daryl set one hand on her hip and held the other in his hand, and Carol still appeared amused. He didn't know if it was directed at him or the song, but he didn't care. He was going to dance for the first time with his wife, and it didn't matter that people were watching. It didn't matter that Iris like was recording this and taking pictures of it. He had everything he could ever need, and he was happy. There was no other word for the joy that coursed through him as he held his wife—yes, his wife—close, and her chuckle of amusement only pleased him more.

 _ **I just want to love you. I don't want to change you or judge you**_

 _ **I just want to love you, but darling you have to learn to love you too**_

Carol was incredibly impressed with Daryl. He wasn't the best dancer, but he wasn't the worst. He had taken time to learn how to slow dance for her, for their wedding, and it made her laugh. It wasn't the first time she'd felt like this, and she knew it wouldn't be the last. She had thought for the longest time she was damned, that everything she touched would fall to ruin, and she would never know true bliss. She couldn't have been more wrong. She had endured hell for most of her adult life, and now she would experience joy and bliss for the rest of it. She was blessed, and it was funny. It was also spectacular. God, it was spectacular.

 _ **I won't count every line this life has carved in you**_

 _ **Your beauty lies in these eyes 'cause I can see the truth**_

 _ **I see the strength in you**_

Iris laced her fingers together and sank her teeth into her bottom lip, trying not to smile any more. Her cheeks were sore, and the day wasn't over. She couldn't help it. Her dad was married to her best friend's mom—no, scratch that. Her dad was married to his soulmate, and they were dancing, and it was awesome. She had come from a broken home with a broken father and uncle, and abusive grandfather, and now she had a home filled with family—two fathers, two mothers, a sister, an uncle, an aunt and a daughter. She didn't know what to do with all this family, all this joy, and if she could lock it away for a rainy day, she would. Thank God for this second chance. Thank God. Thank God.

She looked at her daughter who was being bounced up and down on Merle's lap, and she blinked back tears at the cute giggles and laughter. She laughed herself, and she placed her hands over her heart, closing her eyes. _Thank you, God._

 _ **I just want to love you. I don't want to change you or judge you**_

 _ **I just want to love you, but darling you have to learn to love you too**_

 _ **I just want to love**_

Sophia intertwined her and Carl's fingers, and he tried to smile around his mouth full of shrimp hors d'oeuvres. She giggled at his attempt and tried not to roll her eyes. Carl and his love of shrimp. She was tempted to ask if that was part of his reason in coming so early, to steal them before anyone else could. She wouldn't. She would pretend he came early to lend them a hand and because he loved her.

She inhaled the warm air and peered at her parents. Daryl had been her fathers for years, and it was official now. She wondered if she could change her name, because she was never fond of Peletier. She would take her mother's maiden name at this point. She had her blood in her as well, and she wouldn't be a Peletier.

The wind caught loose strands of her hair and blew them in her face, and she moved them aside. She would enjoy today and treasure time spent with family. Come tomorrow she was back on the road to student debt. She had a goal to reach, and she was adamant on reaching it. She wouldn't let anything hold her back anymore. She could be all she dreamed of as a kid, and she would make her mom—her parents—proud. She would make herself proud, and she would try her best to not regret anything. Life was too short for regret after all.

 _ **You hide behind your mask of stone, but you don't have to be alone**_

 _ **A thousand lives you could have lived. You're the only one you still need to forgive**_

Andrea twisted her fingers around a her glass of champagne, her best friend and father of her daughter dancing in front of her, and her lips pulled back in a smile. She knew tomorrow would come with stress of bills and work, but today was for celebrating. She was what? Seven years? Had it been seven years? Wow, she was seven years free of a miserable marriage where she and her daughter were treated poorly. Her daughter was now a student in college and a mother; however, she had matured into a lovely young woman, and she was pleased with her pace. She was a good daughter, and she was an amazing mother. Andrea knew she would make a great neonatal nurse one day, and she stood by her one hundred percent.

As for herself, she was in a loving, honest relationship. They fought from time to time over varying things, and they had their ups and downs, but it was better than fighting relentlessly and being in a permanent state of down. They talked to each other, and Shane was great with Celia and Iris, treating them like his own, and he worried like they were his own. Sometimes more than her, and it made her snicker to see him act as the mother hen. She couldn't believe her luck, and she hoped it didn't wear out. She still had quite a ways to go before she was satisfied with every aspect of her life.

 _ **I just want to love you. I don't want to change you or judge you**_

 _ **I just want to love you. I just want to love you**_

As the day faded into evening, it was time for the end. Iris and Sophia had saved up for them to have a pleasant honeymoon anywhere they wanted, but Carol and Daryl drew the line there. They thanked them for the suggestion, but they had plans. They'd rented a cabin for a week, and it was by the lake where they could fish and stick their feet in. It was a nice cabin, cozy, and it was isolated, which Daryl loved. He adjusted to people as his business and family grew, but he wanted to have uninterrupted time with Carol that he hadn't got in years. Actual _years._ It's like they knew, and every time they got close, someone would knock on the door or just walk in and announce their issues with school or work or bills. He made sure only Andrea knew where they were, because they'd made a deal that only if someone was sick or dying to contact them, and he knew she'd keep her word. She also wanted to hog baby Celia to herself, so it was a win-win.

"Just call us when you arrive, okay?" Iris hugged her new mom. "Let us know you arrived safely."

"We will." Carol rubbed her back. "We'll take plenty of pictures, and we'll have dinner when we get back to catch up. Don't worry about us."

"We'll take care of the house." Sophia squeezed her finally legal father in an embrace. "And I'll water the plants, and Honey will remember she loves me."

"Nah, you're still a traitor," he told her.

"We'll see." She released him and switched with Iris to hug her mom. "Have a great time. I love you."

"I love you too." She buried her face in her shoulder. "Take care of yourself."

"I will."

"Don't ever tell me what you guys do in that cabin." Iris locked eyes with him. "I'd like to pretend you fished and made s'mores—and that's it."

"Sure, fish and s'mores." He smiled at her. "That grandkid of mine better miss me."

"I'm sure she'll throw fits at nap time and demand Grandpa come read to her."

"She'd better." He pulled her into a hug. "You'd better take care of yourself—no missin' meals and shit 'cause you had to study."

"Mom will sense if I skip a meal and stalk me around campus until I eat," she assured him. "She's already mapped out my schedule. I'm not even kidding."

"Good."

They let go of their kids at the same time and as they'd already said farewell to their other guests, they departed. Sophia and Iris watched the car grow smaller and smaller, and Iris grinned, tackling Sophia in a hug, and Sophia squealed in surprise, almost falling to the ground.

"It's official! We're sisters!" She held Sophia at arm's length. "Carol's my mom now too!"

"And Dad's my dad."

"As you are now my younger sister, I'm leaving you to clean up everything." She took of running toward the stable. "Good luck!"

"What?" Sophia scoffed. "Like hell I am!" She chased after her.

– – –

Carol inhaled the musty scent of the log cabin, running her fingers through her short hair, and she rolled over, finding the spot beside her empty. She opened her eyes and frowned, and she sat up, holding the sheet around her, her eyes finding the shadow of her new husband.

Daryl was looking out the window at the moon's reflection on the lake, sitting in a chair with a mug of fresh coffee, and Carol joined him. "Hey."

"Hi." She hugged the sheet closer. "What are you doing up?"

He handed her the mug and pulled her down onto his lap, and she smiled at him. "It's nearly sunrise," he explained. "I wanted to see it."

"Haven't you before?" She took a sip of his coffee and handed it back to him.

"Yeah, I have." He wrapped his arm around her hips and hugged her closer to him, using his free hand to drink his coffee. "Just not with you."

She chuckled and snuggled against him. "Shouldn't you have woken me up?"

"I wasn't about to," he whispered back at her, setting the mug beside on the end table. "You beat me to it."

"Hmm." She brushed her forehead over his. "Well, thank you. I wouldn't want to miss this."

He titled his head back to kiss her. "I love you, Carol."

"Dixon," she murmured.

He chuckled now. "I love you, Carol Dixon."

"Not as much as I love you, Daryl Dixon." She wrapped her arms around his neck, her nose bumping against his, and she stroked his cheek with her thumb. "So, about this sunrise...?"

"Yeah?"

"Any chance we could catch it tomorrow?"

He mulled it over and kissed her, picking her up and heading back to the bed. He gently set her down and climbed on top of her. "Yeah, we'll give it another shot tomorrow."

With that, he sealed her mouth with his.


End file.
